How to Become a Mesmerizing Actor | The Hypnosis Method That Changes Everything with Joe Tabbanella

Do you want to know how to become undeniable as an actor?

Ever wonder why certain performers are absolutely mesmerizing?

What if you could train your mind not just for success — but to genuinely love your life as a creative?

In this powerful episode of Thriving Artists: The Daily Joyride, host Robyn Cohen interviews hypnotherapist Joe Tabbanella about hypnosis for actors, confidence training, performance mindset, and how to create a successful acting career without burnout.

This is not motivational fluff.

This is practical mental conditioning for performers.

You’ll learn:

• How to rewire self-doubt at the subconscious level

• The hypnosis method that builds magnetic presence and meaningful careers.

• How to love the audition process instead of fearing it

• How to turn the dream in your mind into physical reality

• Daily mental practices that create confidence and career momentum

If you want to become a captivating, undeniable actor — and enjoy the journey along the way — this episode gives you a tangible path. Success does not have to come from pushing, scraping, or begging. You can love your life into existence — and build your dream sustainably.

Connect with Joe Tabbanella

Website: TabbTechnique.com

Instagram: @JoeTabbanella

🎭 Audit a Free Acting Class

See how this work works in real time.

Email: robyn@cohenactingstudio.com

Subject line: Free Audit

Or:

DM "AUDIT" on Instagram for a FREE ACTING CLASS AUDIT: https://www.instagram.com/robyncohenactingstudio/

More info:

https://www.cohenactingstudio.com

Watch actors train presence, confidence, and process live.

🎟 Actor Showcase — March 4 @ 8PM

Victory Theatre Center—Burbank, CA 

Want to see these tools in action?

Join us live and experience mesmerizing performances by actors who are applying these practices right now — shimmering, shining, and fully alive in the hands of extraordinary writing.

Reserve your free seat:

The Actor’s Showcase Tickets, Wednesday, Mar 4 from 8 pm to 9:30 pm | Eventbrite

See what happens when actors stop waiting and start embodying their power and artistry.

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Subscribe for interviews on acting mindset, performance psychology, audition confidence, and building a thriving creative career.

You don’t have to force your dream into existence.

You can become the version of you who naturally lives it.

Time Stamps:

00:00 Show Relaunch + Why This Episode Is Personal

00:59 Inviting You In: Actor’s Showcase & Free Class Audit

01:49 Meet Joe Tabbanella: Hypnosis, NLP & the Mindset Behind Success

32:43 Loving Your Life Into Existence (and the Body ‘Gets Jealous’)

01:02:22 Play, People-Pleasing, and Not Abandoning Yourself Mid-Game

01:06:08 Healing a Divided World: Hold a Positive Vision (Not a Reaction)

01:09:11 Keep Your Joy While Adjusting Behavior: Approval, Boundaries, and Self-Trust

01:21:43 A Step-by-Step Process to Release Stuck Emotions (Breath, Body, Meaning)

01:32:13 2035 Vision + Miraculous Client Stories: Success, Trust & Future Self

Transcript

Robyn Cohen 0:01

Well, hello. Hello and welcome back to Thriving Artists: The Daily Joyride. We are officially relaunched. Woo. We're back on YouTube, apple, Spotify audio and video, and I could not be happier to connect with you. So today's episode is deeply personal. Over a decade ago when I felt like I couldn't survive another day in Hollywood as an actor, I found the amazing Joe Tabbanella Joe is a hypnotherapist, and he didn't just give advice. He gave me tools, practices, a way to rewire how I was thinking, speaking and seeing myself and the world. In this episode, you're gonna hear the actual process, how to essentially hypnotize yourself into how confidence into momentum into a career that you actually love and desire. This is not woo. It is practical. It is powerful, and you can apply it immediately. Even while listening to this in your car, And if you're feeling lit up by this conversation, I want you in the room with us. We're having our spring Actor's showcase. It's happening March 4th at 8:00 PM at the Victory Theater Center in Burbank. It is free. So come on along and see how this work works with some of the most incredible actors I've ever had the privilege to work with in the hands of the most extraordinary writers in the cosmos. And if you're not in Los Angeles, not a problem, come audit a class. Your first acting class with me is free. We will be online March 30th at 11:00 AM in the Zoom room. I would love to meet you there. My friends, You can actually love the life that you want into existence. Let's see how you can do that with Joe Tabbanella. Here we go. there we go. Hi. Joe TabTabbanella I'm so happy to have you here to share any kind of time and or cyberspace with you. And for our listeners who haven't yet had the conversation, we hope you have a great day. Overwhelming joy to meet or to work with Joe. I'm just going to share a little bit about you, Joe Tabbanella, my friend is an expert hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner and a masterful mindfulness teacher. you teach and have explored the fields of hypnosis, mindfulness, brainspotting, biofeedback, neurolinguistic programming, radical acceptance, open focus. and mental and emotional release, M E R. And, it says on your, website that You set out on a journey to understand your mind and how it works in achieving goals in releasing suffering and experiencing happiness. And you said that once you discovered happiness was not found in an external experience, but through internal practice. And that success actually starts in the mind. It freed you from never ending attachments and aversions. as a result, external conditions seem to fall into place. You go on to say that following a life changing experience, you decided to dedicate your life to giving others the insights and the practices that you were so fortunate to have received, So of life changing experience. So I'm going to earmark that because so curious to talk about what that was. But, off the bat, I also just have to share that Joe is an amazing actor and, Producer and director of film. He has films and festivals currently and has career as an actor for decades. in addition to everything aforesaid mentioned. So Joe, I do want to hear about the life changing stories that catapulted you into the world you're currently in, But first I have to ask, Joe, please tell us how you went from nighttime soap star heartthrob to masterful practitioner, spiritual teacher, metaphysical wizard, and best therapist ever for so many. How did that, how did that happen?

Joe T 4:18

Well, I couldn't find work and I figured, hey, we're in LA, might as well be a spiritual teacher. Bada

Robyn Cohen 4:23

bing! I love it. I love it.

Joe T 4:28

wow, that's a tall order. Okay, so I wouldn't say it was a heartthrob, but thank you. so There's a combination of two things that happened to me that got me into this world and the first one was when i'm in trouble You And I'm trying to obsessively, compulsively find the answer to a problem. It's happened since I was 19. I get some kind of download. It's hard To explain, but it's like an internal voice that doesn't sound anything like my own voice, but it's not a hallucination. It's like an intuitive guidance and it's never been like a psychic premonition. It's more about It asks the like Socratic questioning, you know, that that made me realize the truth, and then when I apply the truth, the question yielded. Miracles happen or like really wild changes happened. So it's not like, you know, they're there. You know, I'm hearing this voice saying do this or do that. It's just a simple question. And I have about like 10 examples of when they've this voice showed up. And I say they, because it feels like a them. It feels like a group.

Robyn Cohen 5:44

Is it a sound of a voice that's a gender or is it like your own voice? It's hard

Joe T 5:50

to explain. Yeah. It's like what the neurologist might call the wise advocate, you know, this part in us that says, really, is that really true? and it's definitely separate from my autobiographical self referencing network voice, you know, like Joe's voice and Joe's questions. one example is I got so many of these example of this voice is, uh, Do you want to hear the first time? I heard this voice. Do you want to hear about it or

Robyn Cohen 6:19

absolutely Yes.

Joe T 6:20

So I told the story so many times, but it's a very bizarre story. This, this made me realize there's something about there's some kind of way to pray, whether it's a science of prayer, whether it's some kind of, alignment with the higher self. But it was definitely interesting thing. So I needed money when I was a kid and I grew up in a very, very blue collar family. They had no money to give me and I, and I needed about 5, 000. And that was probably 25, 000 today, I would imagine, right? As far as inflation. So imagine, like, this kid who can't ask his parents for money, and he needs, like, 25, 000, right? And I'm doing the good Catholic thing, looking for a sign from God, you know, praying and looking for a sign from God to win it. And the lottery, you know, I'd play the pick four every day, my license plate of the car that was totaled, which is why I needed half of that money and the other half I needed to pay somebody that I owed money to, and I really needed to come up with this money and I play the pick four every day in lottery, it's called the pick four lotto. And every day I would play two numbers, my license plate that was totaled and whatever I thought was a sign from God, you know, uh, a car, you know, most runs me over. I play the license plate, whatever it is, catch a bottle, a receipt, breakfast receipt, went to lunch, you know, 1252, you know, it sounds good. One, two, five, two. And this would go on for weeks and I would play and I was praying and praying and obsessing about it, really obsessing about winning this money somehow. And then one day I heard this voice and it said, who are you praying to? I was just like, what's that? I'm praying to God, you know? And it said, well, let us, they always say, let us ask you a different way, which is so weird. and they said, um, if God was here, would you ask it for 5, 000? Now being a Catholic, God's not an it, God's a he, right? But I understood what it meant, like the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, all that is. If that was personified in front of you, would you say, hey, give me, I need 5, 000, would you give it to me? I said, yeah, of course. That's who I'm praying to. And they said, think about it. And they come in threes. Think about it. Think about it. And the third, think about it. It's very firm. Think about it because I kept saying, yeah, I'm thinking about it. And I said, really think about it. Think about it. Think about it. I said, okay, let me take a minute. Think about it. So I imagine the room splitting open in time and space, space, time, and this light shows up the antecedent to all matter. You know, the, the field is zero point energy. The everything that is, that never was in my room personified as this like light being. And I just got into, it wasn't a hallucination. I just imagine it because I, I, uh, I went for it. I went for this idea of imagining this God that can actually help me. What would it be like that can, that is everything. And it affects everything. And in that moment I surrendered and I suddenly realized I was part of this thing called God. And I realized I was the people who were picking the lottery balls, I was the guy owed money to, I was the fear I had in my body, I was the car I wanted, I was the car that was totaled, I was the person who was going to sell me the next car, I was the lottery balls themselves, I was everything, I became everything. And I just said, and I remember surrendering and saying, oh, it's all me, so I'm done wanting. I'm done. I'm done wanting whatever you want. This thing that is everything that is me. Whatever you want, I'm going to align with that will rather than my brain's will. My human brain's will. Whatever that meant. I just said I'm going to stop wanting. I'm going to stop thinking I'm separate. I'm going to stop wishing something was or wasn't. Very Buddhist idea, you know, of just being with everything and so I was done, you know, and it was no longer in my head, I was in my body in the present moment.

Robyn Cohen 10:19

And you would describe it as having A oneness with all and then

Joe T 10:23

all with all that is

Robyn Cohen 10:25

all and all that is, was or will be, and that you were one with the oneness. So it was. One life, one energy. There's no separation.

Joe T 10:33

It's like, I'm me, I'm you, I'm you. Attachment or aversion

Robyn Cohen 10:38

because you were the 5, 000. You were exactly like

Joe T 10:41

imagine these two arms. If I forgot they were connected to me because of an illusion of separation, right? I would be really afraid of this arm maybe. And I'd really be wanting this arm, but they're both parts of me. So I need to say yes to this and internalize and connect to this. Right. But that didn't happen until I felt, I realized I was one with everything. So there's no aversion and there's no attachment. There was just right. And in that moment, I just started walking. I didn't know why I was no longer in my head to do anything. I was in the moment. As they say, it's like an Eckhart Tolle experience, like completely present to resist nothing, you know. And I'm walking down the street for no reason at all. I don't even know where I'm going. Why I'm just in the moment felt like walking. I was in my body rather than in my mind. And I walked to, uh, happened to be in front of a convenience store and it happened to be the convenience store. I played every day, you know, and I was just like, what am I doing here? I had no reason to be there. I had no sign for that day yet. You know what I mean? But I was in front of it. I said, well, since I'm in front of it, I might as well just go when this went in. And I went in and I played the. License plate number of the car I played every day. That number I played every day. It had no sign. And a woman sitting right next to me turns to me and says, 1729. Trust me, I've been playing it long enough. And I thought ketchup bottles were a sign from God, you know, and receipts and licensing plates. And here's a human being saying, trust me, I've been playing long enough. I said, thanks lady. Anything, anything, whatever she said, I didn't care. I didn't want anything anymore. I was just wanting the moment. So the moment was full and I was everything I needed and everything I wanted, which makes me really believe in. in a sense, when they say like, God's taking care of everything, I understand like this, some kind of vibration to get to where a bigger part of you, whatever you want to call that the bigger part of you is guiding you higher self, higher power, whatever you want. And I said, thanks lady. I didn't even think about it. I didn't even think about it. I had like 200 bucks to my name and I spent it as if I had the money and I needed that money, by the way. Like I needed that 200 to pay someone off for a whole week. Like

Robyn Cohen 12:55

you owed some Yeah. Yeah.

Joe T 12:57

That's called the big, like you need to, you need to pay off a weekly.

Robyn Cohen 13:00

Yeah. And I

Joe T 13:01

spent it like, like I had it. And I was even looking for cars through the paper, in the paper, like down in Philadelphia In Pennsylvania to get a go to the auction. And my friends were saying like, what are you doing? You're going to go on the lamb. You're hiding in Pennsylvania. It's like, no, I'm going to get a car. And they're like, how are you going to get a car? I was like, I don't know how, how to explain this, but I have 5, 000. And they were like, yeah, that's nice. They thought I'd even call that night. Normally I'd call at 748, you know, like it would come out, I think at 740. And then I'd call it 742, you know, and that night I even forgot to call. Like I wasn't looking for it anymore. I wasn't wanting anymore. I was free of attachments and aversions. And the morning I wake up and all of a sudden I remembered I'd never called. And for no, for no reason, I just picked up the phone and called for the pick four. And it was that number the woman told me. I was just like, am I dreaming? No, at first I didn't think I won because I only had one number. And then I remember a woman told me a number. I had two numbers. Cause I wasn't obsessing. Oh, I think that's the sign, you know? And so I hang up the phone, I go upstairs. I realized I did have two tickets. I come back down, I read it and it's the same number the woman told me. And I remember saying, wow, this is so weird. Wind can come by and blow this ticket out of my hand and it wouldn't matter. And the voice came back and said, that's exactly why you want it. Go figure out what that is. And so I spent pretty much every waking day of every moment of my life annoying my friends, talking about the nature of this. And then I realized I wasn't alone. There are books like The Power of the Subconscious Mind, Joseph Murphy, Neville Goddard, Think About the Wish Fulfilled, like older books, like um, Nightingale, not Earl Nightingale, Anyway, people like that, about 20 people from the 20th century that talked about prayer and understanding prayer and Napoleon Hill and then modern people saying the same thing over and over again. And I was just like, okay, now I get it. they did the same thing I did, or they get what I'm talking about, but how do I repeat it? You know?

Robyn Cohen 15:15

Yeah,

Joe T 15:16

and I spent years and years trying to repeat it and I would have these shifts and changes. Nothing like it would have something would happen for a moment and then I'd go back to my automated patterns and at one point I understood it so well that I could have Taught it for a living you know, like did seminars. I knew it so well

Robyn Cohen 15:34

like you do now

Joe T 15:36

Like I do now, but there's something missing. There was something missing. I just understood it, but I wasn't embodying it. Right. And I didn't know this until one day. So I was an actor for years, not really working here and there. I wasn't disciplined. I wasn't good. I wasn't, committed. I didn't believe I was just a bartender trying to be an actor, you know? And one day I was telling my, my friend who's a bartender next to me, we were talking about, um, I was telling him about the law of attraction, where you can manifest your life, you know, and I'm almost 40 at the time, 37, no agent, right? No career, no, not the money I want, not the career I want, nothing that I wanted was in my life, really. And he rolled his eyes at me. He says, yeah, go manifest a gin and tonic for that guy who's waiting. And my highest value is congruency. Like I hate talking about something and that not being it. I can't stand it. I can't stand that someone writes a book because they want to write a book rather than it changed your life. And they want to change my life. You just wasted my time at this book. You know, I just, something I can't stand about myself. If I say something, And I'm not doing it right.

Robyn Cohen 16:47

Walk the walk, talk the talk. Yeah. Yeah.

Joe T 16:49

Now it's very hard to always live up to our ideal version of ourselves, but it's a core value. Core value makes me wake up for sure. So I looked at him and I was done. I was done. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed talking about this to him. And I looked at him and I said, look at me. I said, if I'm a working actor in three months, You come to me and ask me what I did and I will show you. And I was 38 with no agent. You know what the odds of that are. Like when I say working, I just mean like, I don't have to bartend. That doesn't mean famous. It doesn't mean rich. It does. It just means I work as an actor for a living rather than a bartender. And he rolled his eyes again. So, I made a decision that day. I said, I'm going to do one or two things. I'm going to realize either this idea I have is just confirmation bias and it's the defense mechanism to deal with the fact that life sucks and is random. And we try to make order at a randomness. And I'll never speak of it again. Either it's bullshit and I'll never speak of it again, or I'm going to change the world by figuring this out. Cause I knew what it was. And I knew that if I applied it, it would have to work a certain way. And then I would know that it was true or I was just lying to myself, you know?

Robyn Cohen 18:06

Wow. It's either, this is all a crock or I'm going to change the world with this. Yeah.

Joe T 18:10

That's how I do

Robyn Cohen 18:11

it.

Joe T 18:12

Yeah.

Robyn Cohen 18:13

I got that. Wow.

Joe T 18:15

Like, you know what therapists called, magical thinking, you know, it's just magical thinking. But when I really sat down to do it, I realized it wasn't magical thinking. It was really the structure of using the human being as what's called a servo mechanism. It's a creative machine. I mean, we built skyscrapers talk about manifestation, right? People have a tendency to think it means it's just going to show up. Yeah. Like, you know, a Buddhist manifesting, uh, pearls or something or a watch, you know, it's not, it's manifestation in the form of ideas forming into more and more form until they match the image. So anyway, I went home and I was ready, man. I was going to do it 20 minutes a day, three times a day. I was going to do what I knew I needed to do, even though I didn't know what that was.

Robyn Cohen 18:58

What was it? I sat

Joe T 19:01

down and said, I'm going to do this. That's it. My life is over now. This is what I'm doing for three months, 20 minutes a day, three times a day. I'm going to become the consciousness of the thing I want.

Robyn Cohen 19:13

Wow. Wow. Yeah,

Joe T 19:14

so I sat there with my, you know, my sage and the candle and uh, you know, 10 minutes went by. I am having a sandwich, you know, another 10 minutes went by. I'm on the phone with a friend, another 10 minutes. I'm falling asleep, you know, I was like, and I was like, I don't know what to think about. I know I have to, I have the end result, which is why I became an NLP trainer. Once I saw that Richard Bandler and John Grinder, once I saw that they. Study to model people. And they said, the most important thing is knowing your outcome. I was just like, sign me up. And then the other thing they said is a state and goal are two different things. You can have any state you want. You don't need an outcome for a state. I was like, sign me up. These guys know what they're talking about. And then the reverse engineering go to the last step and go backwards. Cause I did that with another issue, but that's something else. I'll just stay with this one. So. So I'm sitting there and I know I have to think of what I want, but my brain is going crazy. Well, I don't know what the script is going to be. I'm going to be talking words that I don't know what the words are going to be. going to know what that is? Well, I don't know if it's a movie or TV show. I don't know. I don't make the hiring. They hire me, you know, and I'm all over the place and I don't know what my evidence procedure is, meaning how do I know I'm successful? Like you would, if you're building a table, you better know what the table looks like. Before you start, right? Or he's going to be nailing wood together for no reason. You, you have to have an end point so the brain can exit out of intention and back to automation. It needs to know that we in automation or we in creative intention, right? So I'm, I'm going crazy thinking about how do I know that I'm an actor? I don't know. And so, so that's when the voices came back and they said, just choose one scene. Because I didn't know what I was thinking about. And they said, because I didn't even know what to focus on. And they said, choose one scene that tells you, you are a working actor that your goal has been, you know, achieved. Yeah. Manifest. And I said, I don't, I don't know. And they said, If you don't know, we don't know. I was just like, well, I said, you have to choose. I was just like, how will I know a contract, maybe a contract? And they said, is, do you want to book a job or do you want to be a working? Because you can be signing a contract and not work. They might cancel this. I said, Oh, okay. That didn't work. All right. Um, I don't know. Choose anything. Like, how will you know? How will you know? Like, hey, hello, I'm a working actor and this is how I know. And I realized, I guess if I lived like in a trailer, like that was my work. Like I knew that was my home. I lived at a trailer that I went to every day. You know, one of those trailers for, and they said, good, choose that. I was like, choose that. Like, what do you mean? Yeah. Just imagine you're there. And I wasn't a very good visualizer, but cause of mime. I was good with kinesthetic, imagination. So I got a sense that it was a trailer, but I can feel the bag. My. My bag on my shoulder the other way. You always have a bag, you know, the speaker in it or unscripted And so maybe some juice that you're bringing home, you know Juicy and then walking up the steps and opening the door closing the door and then dropping the bag and I said, okay I did that now what they said just do that. That's not acting. They said just do that. That's your evidence, right? I said, yeah Just do that. I said, how long? You said 20 minutes a day, three times a day. So do it for 20 minutes a day, three times a day. You're the one who gave yourself the criteria. And I was just like, oh, okay. That's it just do that and the first thing I realized when I started doing that is what they're really tell what they whatever my higher Wisdom was telling me. I don't want to sound like I'm talking to spirits, but maybe I don't know

Robyn Cohen 22:59

very

Joe T 22:59

clear. They were very much smarter than me. There's a part of my brain much smarter than me. How's that? Okay, perfect. First thing they I'll just say they for the higher version of my brain for those scientists out there. So the first thing I realized is that they might as well just have told me just focus on your breath for 20 minutes a day, three times a day, meaning sink your teeth into your mouth. Your focal teeth into something. So you're in charge of your focus and not your brain in charge of you. So I said, Oh, okay. So for 20 minutes, I was able to use my five senses. It started to grow. First, I would drop the bag. Then I would hear, you know, quiet on the set. Then I would like smell coffee on the table there. And I would touch the script and then see the script and, you know, maybe see some color. So my brain could not give me an experience because I was too busy giving my brain an experience. So rather than my program running my experience, which is my focal point being absorbed in my program, that's good. They actually talking right now. They just gave me that sentence. I'm sorry. I just got that sentence. Rather than my brain giving me an experience to be absorbed in, I was absorbing something in my imagination, so my brain had no choice but to have my experience. So that's the first thing I was learning is the power of focus. Second thing I was learning was the power of disengagement and devaluing existing. Patterns that I've focused on either through attachments or aversions, meaning, well, that's not going to happen. How's that going to happen? Well, you got to bartend tomorrow night. I mean, how do you, you don't have an agent. How are you going to be working? I mean, you're done. You're almost 40 years old. It's like every time they would come up, I would disengage and go deeper. So now I understand hypnosis and left right hemisphere to some extent and resistance. What I was doing is by using all five senses, my left critical analysis and objective part of my brain couldn't do anything because when you use five senses, it goes right Pass the left hemisphere into the right and into the body as an experience. And so by using five senses and then disengaging any time a thought pulled me, I would disengage, relax. I don't fight it. I just disengage like birds flying through the sky. You just let go. And then in its wake, I went deeper into my choice of focus, which is. Over and over and over again. So I was like a Buddhist monk, just focusing on their breath. I was just focusing on an experience. So rather than disengaging from the patterns through breath, I disengage from the patterns through focusing on something, which would be creating a new pattern, which is manifestation or creation rather than just disengagement from old creations. You know, I kept doing it. And doing. And the first thing I realized is that at least for 20 minutes a day, I was having the experience I thought I wanted so bad, big deal, it's just electrons. You know, what's the big deal. It's just sight, smell, taste wasn't any big deal, but at least I was in control of it. Second thing I realized is when I was bartending after about 10 days of this, I realized I wasn't a bartender thinking about acting. I was now an actor who happened to be behind the bar. Yeah, like I was started thinking as yesterday was me on the set and tomorrow will be on the set. And this moment was no longer bartender moment. It wasn't like, Oh, there's that guy from last week who tipped me 50 bucks. And I wonder how next Sunday will be on that new promotion. It was more like I was just in the moment, but any thought about the past, present or future. Was about being on a set. So that was the second thing that was happening. And then after about two weeks of this, then it hit me. I'm doing it. now I'm very familiar. I'm familiar with the sounds of the set. I'm touched tasting it, smelling it and touching it. And all of a sudden I hear a knock on the door. It's like I shined a light on a parallel universe and now it's opening for me. and I hear the. I hear knocking on the door and the door opens it and the girl comes in with a headset and goes, we're ready for you, Mr. Tabbanella And I was just like, who's this? What

Robyn Cohen 27:15

do

Joe T 27:15

I

Robyn Cohen 27:15

do now? This flooded your imagination.

Joe T 27:18

Yeah. It's like built on the pattern I had. I just kept walking in and walking in for, you know, 20 minutes, nonstop three times a day. And all of a sudden, It grew from it. It's like the scene opened up, you know, and someone knocked on the door. Now it's being added rather than me creating it. And I said, what do I do now? And they said, now get what you really want from it. I stopped walking. I said, what is that? Well, you don't want to want to decide. Well, what do you want? What would make you happy? I don't know. I was almost embarrassed to say that I wanted to be welcomed.

Robyn Cohen 27:54

Yeah.

Joe T 27:55

And they said, now, create that. Notice that. I'm like, really? Is that okay? Yeah. It's your creation. Don't you want to be welcomed? So I walk into set and I see the director going, there he is. Oh, we saw the dailies yesterday. Oh my God. We're so happy. And I started building on that and cut and the DP doing this through the lens, you know and cut the grips giving you a You know, fist bump, you know, in the grips like you, you're good. Cause they're very, very sharp. You know what I mean? Ain't no a mile away. And then the other actor going, Oh my God. And then cutting people, laughing, cut people. And I felt so amazing. I realized I'd never felt that amazing before. And all it was, was a feeling of relaxation into being loved and welcomed. And I realized in that moment. I was never feeling that feeling. It was, it was weird for me because what it really did is let go of emotions I didn't even know I was holding of not being. Welcomed because the question is why was that so amazing to be that welcomed in my nervous system? Why was it so far and not amazing so far because it wasn't that great. It's just the other stuff was gone I felt like it belonged. I said, why is that? I was the most sought after bartender in new york and la like I was wanted I was needed I was valuable Why is this different? And I realized I was working so hard to be valuable because I didn't feel the energy of being valued inside because I felt the feeling of shame of being rejected inside. So I was trying to manipulate the world, you know, in parts integration, they call that internal family systems. They call that managing, you know, managing the world to not wake that baby that I'm a piece of No one cares about me, have no value. So I worked hard to change the world to manipulate it, but I never, integrated the part of me that didn't really feel good enough and had to fight so hard. And now imagining people loving me, and it's a different feeling. And I locked that in, and all of a sudden after three months of locking that in, I realized I was going to stay in this feeling no matter what. It's a longer story, but I got to the feeling of realizing that that's what I've been looking for my whole life, is presence. Cause it's just presence, not like Eureka. I'm, you know, I'm just like, no longer wanting, I feel loved. I feel included. I feel relaxed in that. And literally that day, three months later, I don't know if it was three months, but that day when I locked in and it was about three months later, I I'm on a series, like on a nighttime soap opera, no big deal. But to me, it was so weird the way it happened. It was like the lottery. Like I did something and then something shifted. I made a change. And then something shifted and then it just kept going and going. I was like this Jedi knight. I was able to just intend something the same way over. I can go on for my law of attraction class. I go on for literally an hour and a half talking about these stories. So it gets in people's subconscious about what's possible. And anyway, I kept doing it and doing it. And at one point then I booked another one after that, the same way, and all these things happened. And I spent more time helping the extras. Figure out what I just did that I was working on my part. And I realized I should be doing this for a living. And so that's how I transitioned a long, a very long. Answer to a simple question, but that's how I transitioned. then I got sick, I thought I was going to die. And when I came back, I was like, do I want to go back to acting or do I want to really make a difference? And I got this email from a college for hypnosis, 20 minutes from my home and college for hypnosis. They want to do that for years. And that's what I did basically hypnotize myself over and over again. And then I, it's just like, once I went to the school, I was just like, sign me up. And it was like, that was my next career. And I had to do the same thing with that career as I did this career, as I did with that career, I just shifted my state. And I all of a sudden started working when I didn't find any way I can do it. I was actually going to give up on life. So what did I do? I left one career where I finally start working and I did that, you know, 65 episodes, another 50 episodes. I did a movie in New York and that I visualized doing a movie in New York. And I'm. And then all of a sudden I leave that to do this and I had no clients and I did the same thing I got just to visualize the end result, felt the feeling and completely got out of the way and trusted the state, trust the state of the wish fulfilled. Neville Goddard would say over and over again, and even Jesus said it over and over again.

Robyn Cohen 32:21

Yeah. and it's interesting you mentioned Jesus because. You know, a lot of people listen to him and he didn't have a Ph. D. He didn't have any credentials either. What you're sharing is so rich I want to just be taking notes, on everything you're saying, one of the things that, sticks out Has to do with something you shared with me when I came to you in a state of, anxiety and, anxiousness and filled with all kinds of angst. in our earlier conversations when I came to you seeking help, you talked to me about this idea that you're so wonderfully sharing about, that. What happens is a process of actually loving our lives into existence. I had been coming from a place of, like you said, over like compensating, like my whole life. For decades was kind of an overcompensation. my whole life was a compensation for feeling like I wasn't enough. I had no value. I was a fraud. I didn't matter. And, in so many ways, my whole trajectory in terms of. where I went to school and, you know, going to Juilliard and then getting master's degrees, like, still trying to get more, so that I could compensate for this overwhelming feeling that I was nothing and I was no one, and no one cared, and why should they, because I was a bad person. And my personality, all of that, it was kind of what we'd call a strong suit, you know, my outgoing this, my kindness with people, right. Also that I wouldn't be in trouble so that they wouldn't know how bad I was right on some level. So I really just so resonates like, what am I doing in my life currently that is in some way still An overcompensation for, something that I think is missing in me or broken in me. And it's just a fascinating inquiry. Like, I want to just keep getting underneath that. So I, like you, can have that kind of congruency that you talk about and equanimity in my life. And to sort of segue that into what you were talking about, about imagining these Moments of. the dressing room, putting your bag down, the woman coming in. Okay, we're ready for you, Joe. The welcoming you shared with me back in the day when I met you in 2015, you shared with me, that there's a phenomenon that takes place and it starts with you actually loving what it is that you say you want to create. Like if you want to create winning the Oscar award, if you want to create winning the Nobel prize, whatever it is. If you want to create building the most magical garden in your backyard, that this work works when you are actually loving the thought of that garden and holding the weight of the Oscar versus In the past, I would just think about winning an award or think about building my garden and I'd be like, ah, and I'd, I'd get constricted and emotionally congested and feel all kinds of I'd be so confronted. And so I would be thinking about it, but I was riddled with, you know, anxiety. And

Joe T 35:53

what am I gonna do to get it? What do I need to do to get it? Yeah.

Robyn Cohen 35:57

Yeah. And, you're speaking to me about how that it's actually this phenomena where body, your physical, your body gets jealous of what's going on in your imagination. And you talked about how that like, When you start to dream up, you know, starring in this Broadway show that is your favorite play, and, you know, stadiums filled with people, when you start to think about it, it has to, it wants to be so yummy when you're just thinking about it. Like, it wants to be so delicious. Like, ah, and just like the, the murmur pre show, you know, before the house lights go down and the excitement and high fiving your castmates, and you're like, let's. Go, you know, all just, just thinking about it literally lights you up inside and you explain that the body gets jealous of what's going on in the imagination and then figures out a way to create what's going on in your mind's eye about the opening night, about all the excitement. It gets jealous and Wants to start to create that in the physical world because the body is jealous of all this amazing, this joy and elation that's happening in your brain, right? Those 20 minutes a day, you know, your body gets jealous. And so it starts to figure out and gets the downloads about where to go, what to do, who to talk to. And that Joe, when you shared that with me, that the body gets Jealous of the mind and wants to create it in the physical world. That changed everything for me. I mean, the notion of that is so special. and so, so I'd never heard it before. And it also made more sense to me than, anything ever had before and the 27 years of classical with wonderful psychologists. but the difference when I would leave your sessions, Joe, that was different from all the other therapy and all the other kinds of things that I had tried before meeting you is that when I Left your office every time, 100 percent of the time, after being guided through these hypnotherapeutic, modalities, and, all the things that we would do. I'd left there actually feeling better and not just better than when I came in, but like, I had a whole new life. I had a new chance at life and I would leave kind of walking on air and just in love with the world. And before meeting you, I had never had that experience in therapy. I would be left kind of masticating on what had happened and still kind of in the pain body of all the things we had talked about, about my past and I, I never felt better. And after a while, I was like, This doesn't seem practical. I'm going there to feel better and after decades, it's so rare that I leave the office. Not that she wasn't excellent because what my therapist did for the first time for me was to hold space.

Joe T 39:11

And that

Robyn Cohen 39:12

was huge. That was a big deal at the time, but it was really just the beginning. It didn't transform my life, but it started to dissolve some of the inner turmoil. It started to dissolve that because I felt like I was, you know, getting a hug if nothing else. So how do, for those listening, how do we go from the place of wanting, needing, the desperation, if I don't book this job, if they don't give me the promotion, if I don't, if they don't give me the number I need, whatever, fill in the blank. How do we go from that needing, wanting, desperation energy just on our own, like if we can't book a session with you, how do I in the middle of the day when I am desperate for something wanting something and so upset that it's not happening? How do I go from that to loving the thing? Yeah. Into physical existence.

Joe T 40:11

Wow. That's a good question. So the first thing we have to recognize that there are two systems at place oftentimes and the loving something into existence, just so we can just clarify how simple that is. If I think about a party and I think about someone there having a good time. This is not like fear of missing out energy. This is more like, I just imagine the party down the street and I just know someone's going to be there. I know I'm going to have someone and I started imagining I'm, I'm there. My body wants to move there. That's what's called Robert Fritz. composer, creative genius called it, Positive structural tension. That's the creative process. We're not used to using the creative process. We're used to using the reactive kind of lizard brain, mammalian brain process. And that is really about manipulating the world so we feel comfortable as opposed to loving something into existence. So here's how it's put so we can understand it. Oftentimes we will say, Oh, I love my life, or I love you, or I love this person. I love that. I love. Right. And it's based on the idea that we have a chemical response in our bodies when we're in the presence of something that's pleasant. Yeah. Okay. And we say, I appreciate it. And so it's appreciation. Really? I really love this. Right. And so someone who's very mechanistic and works in that model will say, you just need to appreciate more to have a great life, which makes sense. If someone brings me a cup of coffee, I'm going to really take a moment to appreciate. So my life is filled with appreciation. And there's nothing wrong with that because I'm creating more experiences to have to love life and love people and love situations by noticing what's good and what I appreciate.

Robyn Cohen 41:50

And they say what you appreciate just like with money appreciates what you appreciate appreciates.

Joe T 41:56

Yeah. Yeah, that's I like that. And it's true. But what happens is the creative process is not about that, as Fritz so beautifully puts it. The creative process is you decide to drop into love. And then you take an idea and you bake it into existence. So you love something and love it as an idea. You see it, smell it, taste it, touch it. Now, you're not waiting for an external stimuli or stimulus to trigger you. You're not waiting for external world to trigger you. You're actually deciding to be neutral or at least in the sense of appreciation. And then Start to just like something that doesn't exist. So you're the creator rather than life creating you. So now you have an idea, whether it be a skyscraper, anything, a friend's party, whatever, an outfit you want. And you start doing that. Now, once you do that and you open your eyes and there's a clear juxtaposition, Between what you are enjoying and what is that creates that jealousy, so to speak, it creates a pulling what's called positive structural tension, which means that I want to keep going through a feedback loop to get closer to the thing. And the closer I get, you know, that game, hot, cold, cold, hot, colder, hotter. That's exactly how manifestation creation works. I hold an idea. I know where it is. But life doesn't and I'm just saying closer further closer. I take an action. I call someone up. They reject me. Ooh, colder, but I don't get upset. I'm getting excited because I have to try something else. Just like in colder hotter. There when the thing I hit is over there. I don't go. Oh, no. Why are you going there? I'm like colder colder that energy. I'm feeling is that system going? Oh, no, that's what's called a servo mechanism. So a servo mechanism is a missile. Basically this is how it works in, in missiles. So the missile has a GPS point, but it's not going to go right to the point there's going to be wind. There's going to be things that has to go around. So it has two things in place where it's going and where it is. If you have too much of only where it is with no where it's going, then there's no directions like being on a cruise ship without going to Bali or anything. You're just wandering aimlessly, right? But if you're too locked in on Bali, you can't enjoy the ride because you're not being present to what it is. And if you hit a, if there's an iceberg and you're going this way and suddenly you lose it. you go the wrong way. So what we need to do is do it behave just like a missile, which is we have a GPS point. So we're always aware where we're headed, but we're very well aware of the present moment because the senses in that missile have to be really clear to where it is in contrast to where it's going. So it knows its target. Exactly. So the missile's going this way, and it's supposed to be going this way, it's going to know, and then because the senses are very clear, and it's not going this way, it goes, the thrust moves this way, and it starts going this way, and it goes too far this way, so it keeps going back and forth, no matter where it is, it knows it needs to adjust based on the GPS point. And

Robyn Cohen 45:12

based on the information it's getting through the senses. In the present moment.

Joe T 45:18

100%. Wow.

Robyn Cohen 45:19

Okay.

Joe T 45:20

Okay. So in the very practical sense. All you have to do is fall in love with an idea, break it down into smaller ideas, so it's not so overwhelming, like smaller goals, and then move it to that first goal, because if you don't break down, we're getting very practical before we get magical, okay? Yeah, yeah. If you don't break down these goals into small, incremental, successive steps, Right? The brain feels it's too much of a chasm. It needs to feel like, it's like, how do I build a house? But if I take a house and look at the end and start reverse engineering it, I take off The paint and then the shingles on the roof and then the plywood. Oh, and there's a now if I reverse engineer it now, I know how to build a house, right? So in our systems that we live in these systems are built for us. You got your high school. Then you get your bachelors. Then you get your Masters and get your PhD and then you work at a university. So you just know the route. So you're okay if you're gonna be a doctor, you know you're gonna be a doctor. as long as you show up and you work hard, you know you're gonna get there, right? Because you've given a promise of how to get there. But when you try to create on your own without a promise, You have to do that for yourself. You have to go, I want to be a movie star. Okay? I wanna be a movie star. Fantastic. How do I get there? How am I getting 5 million dollars a year? Well, I did a movie and they gave me a million and made 80 million. Okay, well how'd you get a movie for a million? I, I was opposite a star and they played opposite me and they only gave me about 300, 000 but I really stood out in the movie and they gave me my own movie for a million. Okay, how'd you get there? I've had really, really good parts and really big movies. How'd you get there? I had really big parts and really, okay. I had small parts and big moves. How'd you get there? I had really big parts and leads and independent films that Festivals. How'd you get there? I did a whole bunch of independent movies and I go, how'd you get there? Um, I was doing plays and I started auditioning for, how'd you get there? I got really good as an actor. How'd you get there? I went to acting class and now you've reached the a chasm. So now you've

Robyn Cohen 47:32

created high school, college, master's, PhD, your own. Structures and, Milestones

Joe T 47:38

or milestones and promises. Incremental success. So this is makes the left hemisphere very happy because the left hemisphere is a very serious oriented. It's serious circuit. It's one, you know, like, Christmas tree lights, you take out one light, they all go out. That's what a series circuit is, which is each one has to be antecedent to the next one, and another one needs to be the antecedent, and it has to kind of, fill each other up. The brain is very happy when that happens. When one happens, and because that one happens, the other one can happen. Brain's very happy. So that's the first thing you want to do is break it down. So it's not a chasm. Why? Because this is compelling, but your brain's like, I don't know how to get there. Uh, that's, I don't want to work hard. What if I, I, I'm not promised. Right. And this is very believable and achievable. You can get a short film, go to acting class. Right. But there's no, it's not compelling. Wait, why am I wasting my time doing something that's not compelling? But when you tie them together, it gets very, very compelling. Again, this is the practical way of doing it. This is the very NLP way. This is a very, uh, psycho cybernetics way. This is Robert Fritz. It's very, very simple. So I'm here and now I have my first step or my first possibility, which is now, so now I'm excited because it's going to leave me there and I know it. So I'm now excited to go to that school because I know I'm going to be a doctor for sure if I go to that school, that's part of the steps, right? Yeah. So now, all I do is tune into that, feel that as if I have it now, excited that that happened, and then I make sure I take an action. As soon as I take any action, I have to be aware if that action is closer or further from my goal. Now we're in the hot, cold, or colder, hotter. At any point. If you don't like the results of the action, you lost your goal. You should love it no matter what, because you just knew that you need to do something else. You did the wrong thing is a good thing. It's called feedback, right? So you keep moving. If you don't know what to do, then you just try things until you get closer. If you don't know if you're getting closer or not, then you just keep moving until you feel yourself getting closer, but you keep it in your awareness. All the time. And you make sure you're aware of where you are now. You make sure you're aware. You're not like fooling yourself to where you are now. So the brain feels that structural tension building and saying, Hey, we don't have that thing. Let's go and get it. And so it becomes an appreciation and then it starts to become desire. That's positive structural tension. And we'll talk about in a minute why people don't live like that. But go ahead. You're going to say something.

Robyn Cohen 50:14

you talked about the magical component because that is something that the brain can go. Yeah, I got that. You've given me the steps, the milestones, along the way my brain can grab onto that. But then there's this whole other. element of the energetics inside of that grid. And that's the magical piece that you referred to. we don't live in a logical universe, the brain needs logic, but as you know, we live in a biological universe, a biological electric, really, an energetic, an energetic universe. So it seems to me that in some ways that which you described when you were sitting in your room at 19 and became the oneness with every possibility. That's right. There was no action

Joe T 51:08

step there. There was no action. There was no

Robyn Cohen 51:10

action step and. Sounds to me like there's a marriage there that is the lock and key because one without the other ain't gonna get it done that without being a receptor or a receiver. To the oneness to the all that ever was is and will be by the way, the Hebrew word for God is Adonai and Adonai being the word for God when you break down the word Adonai, the Hebrew word means all that is, was or will be. That's what the word God means in the Hebrew language. so these. Two ways of going about it seem to need to get married to move the needle.

Joe T 51:57

Well, yes, I would push back a little bit in the sense that there are plenty of people that are very, um, mechanistic in having an end result, moving towards it, trying things to see if it gets closer or further, having a program to get there or, or a path. I think they achieve their results. It doesn't mean they're happy necessarily, and it doesn't mean that they're open to faster possibilities. They've actually been making it longer than they need to because they program it as opposed to the right hemisphere, so to speak, metaphorically, but part of it's true because it's works in a parallel. It's it's makes global connections, right? So let's look at the difference between Left hemisphere being a program and right hemisphere being artificial intelligence. When you program a computer, it goes, this happens. And then that happens. That means that, and when that happens, that happens. And it achieves a program based on a strategy of, cause and effect. That fulfills the program, right? Okay. So that's left hemisphere. And that's get things done, right? if you know the strategy to get something done and you plan and you reverse engineer it, and you just take actions, it doesn't matter if you're feeling good or not. you just, if you just take action, no matter what, and you have the PR and you keep going until something works. This is how we're going to work, right? It's how it works. And we would achieve some results that way, and lots of results. you're almost better off doing it that way, so you don't get lost in the fantasy. So now the right hemisphere, if you think of it this way, is more like artificial intelligence. How does artificial intelligence work? There's no program. There's just a prompt. Give me a picture of aliens on Mars that look really scary and all of a sudden it scans the whole universe because you're open to every possibility and you trust that something bigger than you is gathering data rather than you. Based on your familiar knowledge of how to get from A to B or what you might guess is A to B. And this is how I bridge the difference, right? You can live just like that, which is just you intend to get out of the way and just watch it unfold. And you don't even have to take those actions closer or further. You can't help but take them if you're doing it correctly. If you have two, If you have a contrast between what you love and the jealousy builds your body and brain will start moving and when you're out of the way, you're more likely to take the action like going to the lottery store like I did, you know, that you wouldn't guess to take. So the more out of the way, the better. But what happens if you're too much out of the way? We could get lost in fantasy and people don't take any action at all. So you're the opposite of that person. You're action oriented person. You need to, to get out of the way a little bit more. Some people need to get in the way a little bit more, like just to pretend to be taking action, just to show their brain, they're in an intentional state rather than some fantasy state. So here's how you split the difference. So if I reverse engineer. Let's say, let's use acting, for example, since you're an actor, right? And they're here and we reverse engineering them all the way back to they just you know, came to LA from, you know, they got it off a bus from Kansas. Okay. They're here. And we have that reverse engineering. We have like acting class. They really confident that there's some shorts and did a play, an agent showed up to the play. So send them out. They got some co stars that started working, but they got their first guest star. Wow. Everyone talked about them. They're getting known and they're getting these guest stars. Now they got a part in a movie because of that. And now the bigger part, now they're movie star. Okay. They got that. Now we get them over here again in hypnosis or in light trance. And we say, now, remember. This is all good, but some people come right off a bus and meet someone in a coffee shop at Starbucks and become a working actor overnight. So now can you be open to the ways you didn't even know that you didn't know you didn't know you didn't know and be open to any possibility. So that tells the brain To go into artificial intelligence or universal intelligence mode rather than just programming mode. So now you got a program running for sure to make you feel safe, but you open up to access the impossible data you could, your brain could not possibly come up with based on its known associations and information. So now it's scanning because you're out of the way and you're using yourself like artificial intelligence, but instead it's universal intelligence. And when you split the difference you're in this. Limitless possibilities rather than it has to be like that. And I call that person didn't work. Uh, part of my plan. It's more like every moment is getting closer. Now, if you do the first way. In the right way, meaning you're taking action and you're enjoying the process and you're feeling that wonderful feeling, and you're happy to adjust and adapt, knowing it's untrusting, you're getting there, you're in a sense, accessing the universal intelligence within that little mini goal. But if you bring it to the big goal and say, by the way, I don't need to go here. Let's just see if there's a way we can get it that way. And then something happens out of nowhere. And you get a phone call and that's the weird part about it. It's not just an action you take, it's a call you get. It's an idea that comes from nowhere. It's a chance meeting in a Starbucks. It's that kind of thing that. Always fascinated me. It's walking into a store, meeting a woman who tells, turned out to me, my best friend's mom never met her and turned out to be, she's a very religious person and she would pray every day to be of service. And here I am praying and connecting to God. And she's praying every day to be of service. And she bumps into me and tells me the numbers of her address at the time.

Robyn Cohen 57:36

I think that's I mean, it's breathtaking. And I also think. we can live in that space where we are connected to the infinite field, the all knowing that can continue to give us if we can stay open these messages, these seeming coincidences, these unimaginable, you know, the most mystical and unimaginable, like I never could have predicted kinds of things are starting to happen on the daily

Joe T 58:06

in my

Robyn Cohen 58:06

world. Like these Unbelievable mystical experiences and my new practice in the morning is like, bring it like I expect something magical and mystical to happen to me today. And I'm sort of just like this positive expectation that you tuning into it. Yeah. And I'm like tuning in, right. Becoming the radio receiver. receptive to, that infinite field, like, working towards my good, working toward our good. and I think that's a possibility. It's just sometimes it's so hard to get over the wall, all the humanness and feeling like, you know, I spend most of my life thinking that I was in trouble and thinking that when other people were upset, it meant I, I mean, the codependency was just rife. Like it's all about like, I'm not okay unless they're okay. And if they're in trouble, that means I must be in trouble there was so much of that. You know, that's a whole other conversation about the mechanics of codependency but it's all inside of like, how do we free ourselves enough so that we can get tapped in, tuned in, turned on to what else is possible, which is where I think life is really at. I think that's where the aliveness of life is really at.

Joe T 59:24

Well, that's what I was getting into next now. So the reason why people don't live like that, they, that's how we learn to walk. This is how we learned to talk. This is how we learn to write the alphabet. and then all of a sudden it stops because we learned to do these things, which is walking, talking, and writing and reading, and then people just tell us to do things and there's no more creative process. We start to, the creative process starts to die. We become an obedient process of like doing what we already knew how to do to not be in trouble. Right. And so. The reason why, and again, Fritz puts this beautifully, which is oftentimes most of our real estate in our brain, most of the unconscious actions and stressors and behaviors are driven by this axis. Call the hope to live up to my idealized version of myself. So while I'm trying to do this, I'm making sure I live up to this. I'm a good person. I'm a kind person. I'm responsible. I'm authentic. I'm a beautiful, I'm productive. I, right. And so what happens is because we're trying to live up to something you can't really live up to all this exhausting. Ah, And as soon as it's threatened, it creates a tension. So the tension resolution is about doing that. to come back. It's like what I was saying about the inner child, like the managers, you do something to make sure you are still a good person. Like I did. I was on the set, having a time in my life and I was making sure I was helping other people to show that I cared about other people. I wasn't some selfish self absorbed actor. Wow. Was that something I was trying to make sure I lived up to that was taking me out of my dream job? Right. And so we live and underneath here, this axis here, down here is a fear or limiting belief we are holding that we don't want to believe about ourselves. So if we live up to this idealized version of ourselves, we're not selfish. We're not bad. We're not lazy. We're not unkind. We're not useless or we're not all the

Robyn Cohen 1:01:29

things that we fear people will find out about us.

Joe T 1:01:32

Yeah, right. So that's what we're normally doing. And then we say, Oh, I want a goal. And the goal is over here. It's like if all the energy is, is more worried about fixing this negative structural tension. In other words, changing things to relax, as opposed to the creatives. System, which is I change things because I'm so happy. I wanted it to match my happiness. One is positive structural tension and one is more like an OCD system. I need to move things to release my stress. And then, so I have to keep manipulating the world to be comfortable here. I'm comfortable. No matter what I'm manipulating the world to match my comfort.

Robyn Cohen 1:02:10

It's literally the difference between spending your life on earth in suffering or spending it in ease, freedom, joy. It's literally the difference.

Joe T 1:02:21

Yeah. A hundred percent. This is an example I give when I'm at the rehab. I'll do this sometimes, or if I'm in my office. I'll use a sandbag, a cornhole game, and I'll show them. That's the creative process. You think about it, you fall in love with the sandbag going into your heart, and then you put it over there and you just keep going. And it feels so good because you're relaxing and focusing at the same time. And most people, when they focus their stress, when they relax, they don't. So they learn to be like that child where every, even the pursuit of the experience feels so good. But then I show them this piece, right? I say, now let's say my highest value that I'm trying to live up to, which is really trying to hide from a fear or belief, right? Is that I'm a good person. Now I go to break my life with the sandbag and I say, Oh, did you want to go first? Did you want to go? Did you sure? Okay. And then I get two or three in and someone claps and I go, Oh, it's okay. You're going to be better than me. I mean, I I've been doing this a while. You're going to be great because I'm afraid that I'm going to look selfish or arrogant

Robyn Cohen 1:03:20

or whatever,

Joe T 1:03:21

whatever. And so now I just dropped the creative process because of some. unprocessed belief or emotion that I've been spending my time trying to avoid and fight and manipulate. And therefore I never really have this wonderful creative process of creating the life that I want.

Robyn Cohen 1:03:38

You just like abandoned yourself right in the middle of the game. You just like walked off the field of your own life. You're like, that's it. I, I have to make sure that this person on the sidelines doesn't think I'm a jerk. So I, uh, I forfeit. Yeah, and I think that is so pervasive. I mean, I certainly see it in show business where, you know, there's so much need to please everyone else that people literally stop themselves in their tracks from pleasing themselves creatively from actually pleasing themselves creatively, which is why they got into the sandbox in the first place. And so it's, the studies, you know, under microscopes, they look at the cell, And the mitochondria of the cell, the engine of the cell and the energetics of the human body. And it turns out that, when we are in a conversation, any conversation that's diminishing of our energy, like I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I can't, I haven't had enough sleep. Uh, that the antidote to that is to actually Play more, stay up later and turn on some music and dance because the cell rejuvenates itself, like on a cellular time, like the engine of the cell gets more energy by playing, like the play, the, expression gives it more expression, which I think is such a fascinating phenomenon and also so relevant, you know, to being an actor, it is called a play. And that being in the play gives forth. more play that we share with the whole audience. There's so much play going on in you that you want to share it with stadiums of people. Like, be, go back to being childlike, not childish. Because it doesn't work to be a selfish jerk. It doesn't work, really, that well in life for too long. But, that sense of play and freedom. so, how can we,

Joe T 1:05:35

get over that one thing feeling.

Robyn Cohen 1:05:38

Yes. And in a broader sense, how can we help in a very divided time in a very divided world, how can we help ourselves? Toward this sense of love and ease and presence. How can we help ourselves and the world?

Joe T 1:05:55

Well, you'll have to ask, Robina Maharshi for that. Well,

Robyn Cohen 1:06:01

Let me ask you personally, if you could give one thing to the world right now, Well, what would you give to the world right now?

Joe T 1:06:08

If I can give to the world right now, I would help them to see that they're creating their life in their heads. It's not in the world. And they will look for it in the world. If it's in their minds, if they're, if they're in a sense of separation, that Well, I would help them understand how they work, and it would help them understand that the moment is real, not what your brain is telling you that the moment is, and to deal with anything, you want to deal with the vision of the life you want, not hating the life you think is happening because the news told you it's happening, so focusing on the life you want. For example, remember, Live aid. We are the world. When we said food, right? So what do we see? Live aid, yeah. So we see people starving triggers a stress response. That's not a positive image. That's a negative image.

Robyn Cohen 1:06:58

Hands across America, yeah.

Joe T 1:07:00

Yeah, we get stressed. We send food, a lot of it never even got there anyway and money never get there anyway, that's another story, but we get excited because we're nervous, we send food, we see them eating and then the structural tension drops, there's no reason, so there's no vision of those communities thriving, for example, in that situation, there's no vision of self sustaining Happiness that we're going to now figure out how to get there. We're just reacting to a trigger that we don't like. And so when people respond to a stimulus, they don't like, they're just reacting to something and half the time it's distorted in the brain based on the information coming in anyway. Now, if you have a vision of getting connected to people beyond that, what you don't like and your brain will find ways, I used to say this in the 20 years ago, I used to say. I remember like, you remember, Buckley And, he used to have the arguments debates with, Noam Chomsky. Right. And I remember thinking to myself, when my car breaks down in the driveway and it's, and I'm frozen and not my power is out Noam Chomsky or Buckley is not going to come and help you. It's going to be your asshole. Republican neighbor or your asshole liberal neighbor is going to be the one that's going to come out of their house, make sure you warm and make sure you're eating. So don't take the bait. To be divided because people are filling us up with this hate energy and focus on the image. And then you can kick ass for sure, but make sure it's a positive image that you're moving towards rather than reaction. It's like projecting a zombie and then shooting it. Meanwhile, we're projecting the zombie to shoot. And then we start deleting, distorting and generalizing, but that's a whole nother. Thing about like the masters knew this be the change you want to make in the world. I've been there promised land You may not get there with me, but I already I may get not get there with you, but i'm already there Like what's that mean? I'm already in a consciousness of the end result I'm already in the thing I want and i'm gonna let my body get jealous and figure out how to get there at best Best that can.

Robyn Cohen 1:09:11

You taught me something so invaluable toward that end about holding the vision, which was that, I often show up with a lot of energy that works for a lot of people. And for some people it can be repellent or scary, or it's like, They want to put, they, you know, you're, this is not, you're not my, I'm not their bag. And for the most part, that's okay. Cause I'm not going to be everybody's bag and I have my preferences too. And that's all well and good. I don't want to be There are 8 billion people on the planet. And if everyone likes you on the planet, you know, your inbox is going to be, it's going to explode. but you, you said something to me, which helped because I was so, addicted to other people liking me and approving of me because I had outsourced my power and approval and I was waiting for everyone else to approve of me before I approved of myself. And, you taught me something about that, that when I'm in a situation where that person is, Maybe not happy with my behavior, not happy with my performance, there might be yelling involved. That in those moments, rather than literally shrinking and wanting to crawl into a hole and die, I could still, in the face of difficulty, in the face of people that don't agree with my politics, in the face of people that don't like my show, in the face of people that didn't want me for the role, in the face of people that are actively telling me, you're too much. That I could actually hold on to my joyful, playful, yummy, elven, fairy like, lightness of being, in my essence, without giving myself away. while, and here was the key piece, adjusting my behavior. If they didn't want, if they didn't want me singing so loud because the walls are thin at the hotel where I was staying, cause I'd flown to New York and I was going to audition in New York and I was doing my song in my hotel room and they're banging on my, okay, I can actually just adjust my behavior, but still continue to have the best time. Finding another little corner of the sky where I can rehearse my song, but also not Abandoning my soul, my joy, my happiness that just that I'm alive, not giving myself away to someone else's reaction. And you taught me, you said, Robyn you're not the one in trouble when they're yelling at you like that. They're the ones that are in trouble. They're the ones that are going through it. They're having some kind of major problem that they would even talk to another human being like that. Like, it's clear, like. let's get this straight. You're not in trouble and you don't have to abandon your very soul and essence because of some outside circumstance. And at the same time, you can still be aware and awake and modulate your behavior. if that's what's called for without losing your joy.

Joe T 1:12:20

And that's what happens with children. So your children, a child's essence might be joyful. Let's say they're playful or mischievous, right? That's your essence. And of course the essence wants to express itself as an essence would like to, right? So if I'm in a funeral and all of a sudden I want to do fart noises because I'm funny by nature and I'm, that's my essence. And I'm not supposed to do that. What happens is, what's supposed to happen is, exactly what you said. Note to self, someone's upset. Let the information, the shame come. And when the shame leaves in its wake, it leaves note to self. No fart noises during a funeral. But you keep your essence, you just stop expressing it that way. But you don't leave your essence and throw a wrench in it called shame. Use the shame to learn, release, and be even better for it. But what happens to most children when they get shamed for a behavior? They now leave their essence and they have shame and now they look for a world where they can do the fart noises but they never really feel like they're getting their essence back. So they, like, they become a Robin Williams that still needs to express itself because I need to do that to, feel free but the shame underneath or the hurt of not being valuable, not being funny or being inappropriately funny when that emotion leaves The child has lost their essence and the soul leaves and the emotion stays and its function stays. Now we're back to that axis right here of, I need to now be a good person. I need to really show how kind I am, how good I am, how respectful I am. And that becomes like a shadow part of ourselves that we never really deal with. And that's exactly what it is. Like you can feel really horrible, let it go. Note to self and then feel great. And just don't sing out loud. When people are sleeping at two o'clock in the morning, or don't burst into a party when you don't know anyone. And you're just and don't know itself. Okay. Next time out, but you'd have to leave your essence. You just change your behavior and people change their essence. That's why, we talk a lot about the difference between guilt and shame, guilt is something I've done. The human has done. I can fix that. I can apologize, make amends. I happy to, if you're important to me, right? Shame is something I am. That's why people have shame will never apologize. That's why they call it the narcissistic wound. I'm not going to apologize. I didn't do anything wrong. That means I'm bad rather than my humanness was selfish. My humanness was greedy. My humanness was jealous. My humanness was slothy. My humanness was lusty. I'm so sorry. What can I do to make up for my humanness? I really important. I want to overcome it happily because of our relationship, right? As opposed to I didn't do it because that means I don't deserve to be if my humanness Is me and my humanness did the thing and the thing is bad. That means I'm bad. Then I'm never going to admit I didn't do it. I didn't. Why am I apologizing? Well, you did it. You made me do it. Well, you did it first. You know, and that's what happens when, people have unresolved shame, they can't ever really, really apologize. And that's what happens when people have unresolved hurt. They can never really accept an apology. They can never really accept it because they want to hold on to their hurt. They can't let it go because they can't accept the fact that somebody who doesn't want to apologize or can are not capable.

Robyn Cohen 1:15:29

So about that or the penultimate thing. what are your thoughts then on feeling like feel like we I think need to feel I think it's the best thing like I love when you cry, not you personally, but like when my students or there's a breakthrough I love those healing. I love those tears. No, one's going to like those tears more than me when we're in class, you know? Cause I'm like, yes, cause I can feel that emotional congestion holding them down and and I can feel it lifting you know? so are you a proponent to that? And can you talk about how we can start to release some of that? Shame and hurt that lodges us in a story of, of pain and despair.

Joe T 1:16:13

Who's, um, what's his name? he said it beautifully. the hero with a thousand faces archetypes. the one who wrote all that. Joseph Campbell.

Robyn Cohen 1:16:21

Campbell,

Joe T 1:16:21

right. joyfully participate in the sorrows of life.

Robyn Cohen 1:16:25

Joyfully participate. In the sorrows of life Can you unpack that

Joe T 1:16:32

Oh, so if you treat life like you would In, theater, you're feeling the emotions fully, but you want to, because you want to show the audience your truth of what's going on. Those emotions come and go, and you're in a theater, right? But in life, if you don't see life as a play, then you're gonna be afraid of those emotions. And so there's a big difference between feelings, emotions, and negative emotions. Right. Feelings are just an experience of what you're feeling, and if you're very science minded about it, it is just these two axes, there's autonomic nervous system, and then the hormonal nervous system. That's it. It's either arousal or mood, and then we kind of turn it into a feeling this is why sometimes someone oh. For a hormonal cycle, we'll confuse the cycle for depression because it's a low arousal with very unpleasant pro inflammatory chemistry. So all of a sudden it'll feel like depression or someone will have their blood sugar off and all of a sudden think they're afraid because they're in an elevator or airplane when their blood sugar's off and they now have a phobic response because it's the same, your adrenals are kicking in to balance out your blood sugar and you think you're afraid but you just have adrenaline, cortisol going through your body. Epinephrine. And then you're saying, Oh my God, I must be scared. Right? And so what I have found about emotions, and this is the biggest thing I've found. So it's great that we're on this. It's one of the things I was writing in my chapter, my book today, because I work with, as you know, I work with the best doctors and PhDs and therapists like in the world. Like I really do. And, we always talk together and work together. And I was always wondering why someone could have the same training I have in brain spotting or biofeedback or mindfulness or tapping or someone else can be doing it instead of me doing it on myself they're doing it on themselves and they don't get the result that I'm getting and I'm thinking why is this and I realized what it was and this is what it is. That when someone does tapping or bilateral stimulation or EMDR or brain spotting or whatever you want to mindfulness or breathing techniques and they're trying to get rid of the emotion. It makes it worse even if the technique works because if you did it to get rid of the emotion and your body feels comfortable because the emotion is now gone. What did that just say about emotions to be more sensitive to it if you feel that comfortable. It's like if you get off an airplane, if you're relaxed and you're off an airplane, what does that tell the nervous system about the airplane? Airplane bad if you're relaxed well, if you feel this good with the emotion is not around, you basically found another clever way of suppressing it by distracting from it. This is another way of not feeling. But if you see emotion as exactly what it is, energy and motion, that was none of your business other than your body processing life in its contrast to what you would like and emotions just do one thing first and foremost, and it's purest form is fight flight. Right? It's where I run. Do I fight? Think about it. No matter what the emotion, no matter how granular you get, it's survival because it's all coming from a survival system, right? Shame is I'm going to die because the tribe doesn't like me. Fear isn't going to die because the tribe's going to kill me. Hurt is going to, I'm going to die because a part of my tribe is gone. And I feel lonely for it, right? So, guilt is, oh my god, I did something bad, now the tribe might kill me, you know? So, these are all just emotions, right? And their first go to, the reason why it's so difficult to understand this, and I find, is when we get triggered and the emotion comes, the first go to is gas on the brakes. Like, do I run? Do I fight? Do I run? Do I fight? That's all it's saying. Whenever something looks weird, if it's loud, it's not welcoming, alone, loud noises, falling something hot, something unexpected. The first go to is, Hey, do I run a fight? Like a cat? You know, as soon as they see something that, you know, they jump, right? Okay. Now, if that emotion doesn't come and then go and in its wake leaves comfort with the stimulus, because it doesn't require fight flight. Well, if it leaves, it goes now I've mastered the moment. Now I I'm okay with you being angry at me. I know how to talk to you, or I know how to defend myself, or I know you're on zoom. Why would I have a fight flight response? I don't have to beat you up. Right. And I don't run. And so what happens is we're still saying to the brain, No to the negative emotion. And if we say no to the negative emotion, we're saying that's not allowed to be. And if we're saying it, no, it's not allowed to be. We're giving the nervous system a task it cannot do, which is it's the serenity prayer, trying to control something that I can't trying to get you to stop not liking me, not wanting me. It's like asking it to stop comments from hitting the earth. And it will keep going. If you said no, it's not allowed to be. This is where anxiety is all about. It's saying something's not allowed. We're trying to play God.

Robyn Cohen 1:21:39

We're trying to play God in a way. Exactly. You mentioned the serenity prayer. The

Joe T 1:21:43

first thing we need to do is to do the opposite. We did when the emotion got stuck. Which is to accept this. And so the first question, this is the, my process, basically, I'm giving it to you right now because it works every time. I mean, I can spend eight hours giving examples, but one of the time, just trust that this works. Did it with 8 million things and even very traumatic experiences. Of course, work with a licensed professional if you're doing this. And you know, sometimes people have trauma and they get overwhelmed. I'm just talking about very simple emotional discomfort. Okay. All right. For now. So what happens is when a moment happens and you have an emotion two seconds or three seconds after, let's say five minutes after the event is over, You're in charge of that experience, not that life. You've created it because you haven't mastered it. And so you still have a fight flight system because you haven't mastered someone not liking you or whatever that is. Right. Okay. And that's happened because before a nine, usually these moments get stuck and they never fully get processed. So it's almost like that's snake. bit me. Let's stay away from the snake. I never knew how to be comfortable in a world with that snake. So I'm just better off staying away with from it. But that's happens with attachment theory too. If I ever got comfortable with my mom leaving the room, I'm going to be anxious attached. If I never got comfortable with someone like controlling me and judging me and not listening to me, I'm going to have it avoided. So I never mastered stimuli, meaning my nervous system is still trying to fight flight stimuli that doesn't require a fight flight. It requires an acceptance, a learning, a doing, and then a creation system, like what do I want instead, and overcoming it. So first thing you do is ask, you realize you did three things when it got stuck, and you're going to reverse the three things. First thing you did when it got stuck is you held your breath. There's too much data coming at you when it first happened. Second thing you did is you tense your muscles. This is like a biofeedback idea. Third thing you did is give it a meaning. And then from that, you now created this adaptation, maladaptive behaviors to make sure you don't have that experience again. Manipulation, hiding, whatever it is. Okay, so when a moment is happening. you don't like, you say to yourself, Wow. It's still happening. So I must be creating, I haven't mastered it. I'm still in a fight flight emotion of trying to fix that and saying, it's not allowed to be great. Now I have an opportunity to master a moment. So that's the first thing. And you realize you're mastering something before nine, usually like 90 percent of the times for nine years old. So you go great. Okay, great. So first thing I need to make sure, does this require fight flight? Like, do I really need to beat this person up because they're smirking at me? Do I need to run for the Hills? Someone said, no, if they're not chasing me with something, I don't need that blood to go into my arms or legs that's what the anxiety is.'cause fight flight's not anxiety. It's empowering. If you ever started running from someone shooting at you, it goes from fear to power. If you're ever afraid to hit someone and get into a fight and all of a sudden you start fighting it's power, it's that. Alarm that says, where do I go? Do I shun blood into the legs for running arms for fighting? What is this? It's like, it's a Ferrari with the gas, but you're still neutral.

Robyn Cohen 1:25:08

How do we release that then? How do we release that? Right. So the

Joe T 1:25:11

first thing you do ask yourself, do I need to run a fight to deal with this? And the answer is no, which it is 99 percent of the time. Say, okay, great. So what do I need to accept now that I can't control? So I can at least relax. It doesn't mean you like it. It means you're accepting its existence and you're not trying to fight flight it. you're not accepting what your mind, you're accepting what your nervous system. And so the first thing that's accept is that some people will just not like me because I just bugged them. Okay, great. Does that have a right to exist? Yes or no. Better because it's data. Your body's got to process something in order to fix it. Okay. Second thing is, does my body have a right to process this? Now, this is the mindfulness and the reframe. Does my body have a right to process it without my attention, without holding my breath, without giving it meaning forever and ever and ever. And you imagine this, this comes from the Sedona method. You open doors and that place in your chest or stomach and its respective areas on your back. And you feel the energy moving through you. And you really feel like you're invisible and that's a river or you're a cave and those are bats. And your job is to get comfortable with the bats, not get rid of them. So if you're doing tapping or bilateral stimulation or brain spotting or breathing, you're saying yes to them. You're getting comfortable with them so they can leave. You're giving them permission rather than trying to get them to leave. They're wanting to leave. It's your resistance to them that made them stay. So you keep letting them move and you keep doing that over and over. And sometimes that has taken me 40 minutes. Sometimes it's when it was really, really traumatic. Like we're talking about life trauma, it took me eight hours, but normally it takes about 20 minutes, 40 minutes, 10 minutes, now it takes a couple of minutes. And you just stay there. You keep seeing it. It's another form of what's called internal family systems, meaning you're hanging out with the scared child rather than pushing them down. You're integrating them. You're bearing witness to them without judging them. And so that energy and that child that got stuck gets to move. Finally, that's what I call emotion. And you keep waiting. At one point, you'll feel it starting to get looser and looser. You might even see some memories coming up that are associated with that pattern. That you never mastered and maybe even the root but you just keep keeping the doors open and you and the more intense it gets the more spacious you get the more spacious you get the more intense it gets the more intense it gets the more comfortable you get so you're showing it like you're not afraid of it you're getting comfortable with it it keeps moving and moving and moving now. At one point, you find yourself stepping out of the system, letting it continue, so you're no longer judging the river of data or bats, whatever metaphor works, and now you're outside the river of data, right? Okay. Now you're going to go up the river outside the cave, and you're going to see a scene that is the opposite of this scene. To someone plotting you rather than judging you, whatever that is, someone rather than rejecting you, someone, whatever that is, right? And you see the scene, it's just there. It's not that you create. It's just there by virtue of the fact that you don't like that. You would have to know there's an opposite and it's just there playing like a loop. And now you step into it. You start loving it. And the first thing your brain's going to do, and this is what I've figured out that really works. The first thing your brain's going to do is going to say, That's not going to happen. She's not going to do that. He's not going to do that. They're not going to do right. Cause it it's trying to get you to hold on to the autobiographical self referencing network, like what you know was you and what you expect, right? And when that happens, the first thing you do is you say to it, I'm not trying to make anything happen. I'm just enjoying this. The other thing's not happening. I'm in a room by myself. No one's rejecting me right in a second. So I'm not trying to make anything happen. You trick the brain that way. So it lets the experience in ergo hypnosis, you're absorbing in a new idea. Second thing it's going to do. Is as you start to enjoy this and relax into it and acquiesce to it, all the other deeper emotions are going to come up and your brain's going to say, yeah, but what about the emotions that we've been judging for our whole life around the other side? I just told you it has a right to come and go while I'm enjoying this. So it's dialectic there. You're tuning into one thing while the other thing is also moving. So you're loving something that's permanent. And there, and, and the other is being welcomed. And you start seeing the other one become more holographic and this become more colorful. And then the third way to deal with it is to preempt the brain by simply saying, even if this shows up in the world, it's going to come and go, I like it because it matches me. I love it a lot more of it, but it comes and goes too. If it was there 24 hours a day, I'd have a restraining order on someone loving me that right. So I like it because it matches me. I love it. Allow more of it, but it moves too. So the negative can move, the positive can move and you tune more into the thing you're in love with rather than the thing you judge. And then the body and brain gets jealous and weird miracles. If you do that a hundred percent, it may take three times. It may take six. You may think you've done it and then you get triggered again. But I am telling you, this is just my evidence, my experience. And if you do this. 100 percent where if the stimulus showed up, you would have, it would be like a doorknob. You may not like it, you may have to move it, or, but you would have no charge from it. Once you get to that place, I can almost guarantee you that positive image creates itself. It wants more of itself because the universe gets jealous when you're in love with something and it doesn't exist. That's

Robyn Cohen 1:30:37

nirvana, you know, that's like if you, if I had the genie and three wishes, one of the wishes would be all those things that trigger me and make me crazy. If those somehow could be dismantled and melt away so that I could just move it aside, like opening up a door, closing a door without all of that. it occurs as miraculous. And yet at the same time, when you share about the process, you're like, I could do that. I could do that. I could be in, as you described the flow of that with the letting go and the vision and the letting go and enjoying the vision and the letting go of the old and letting it process while enjoying, and then tripping the brain just by saying, Hey, I'm just, I'm just hanging out with this image I'm not trying to do anything. And by the way, it's going to come and go. anyway I mean, I think that's how we can come into homeostasis finally. Yeah into the flow which is You know into the currency, you know the root word of current money currency currency money The root word is current flow flow, you know, and that's how you make a billion dollars if you're just so, okay Last piece, although I would like to do a marathon podcast. I don't know if that exists, but if, if we can love that into existence, like a, like a 24 hour marathon podcast, this is just so juicy, I'll just ask you this and then I, I'd love for you to share like where people can find you And, have a session with you or go to your seminars. You're you have a beautiful membership. but the question is proceeding that, standing in 2035. What happened in the last 10 years, Joe, that you're just so excited and proud about?

Joe T 1:32:25

A lot of truth was revealed. People woke up to what's really happening in the world and in their lives. People became more empowered. People, as Edgar Cayce said in the early 20th century, he said in this century, at this time, we won't need intermediaries to talk to God. He said people will talk to God directly and do miraculous things. And I think that people will have awoken to their power of understanding this to levels that, uh, can only dream about where they're starting to realize that. Energy is thought, thought is energy. That is the precursor to all physical form, behavior, and reality. And if you continue to vibrate at that consciousness of oneness, you'll be in the flow and be listening to the, all that is to govern our behavior and our thoughts, rather than the brain's idea of safety and separation and conditioning to govern our thoughts and our behaviors and therefore our realities. I think we're going to shift into. Where I was at that time when I, when the lottery, when I was just like, everything is present and I'm letting some like Joe Dispenza does as workshops. You're just hanging out in the quantum and you're hanging out in space and you're trusting that that knows who you are, what you need to do, your purpose, your meaning, your next action. Not somebody screaming at you, telling you what you should be, need to be, have to be in order to thrive and make money and be famous and be safe and be relevant. It's like that is going to dictate what we are and we'll realize, Oh my God, we didn't have to work that hard. We just had to be present. I'm going to leave you with one story that recently happened to kind of sum up what we're talking about. How's that? I mean, I have so many I want to share, but

Robyn Cohen 1:34:15

I know, well, you're coming back. This is just, you know, we've only just, you're an actress

Joe T 1:34:19

and a writer and I think you appreciate this. I think I told you about this. So he gave me permission to talk about this. So a writer has been trying to write in Hollywood for. 30 years, you know, jobs here and there, but never really breaking through. And he came to me about three years ago and he was really upset. And it's just like, I don't know what I'm even doing here. What am I coming to you for? I don't, I, you know, I. And he had this story in his head about like, why, why him? Why? How come he doesn't get a break and everyone else does that kind of thing. So I taught him these principles. You have to be successful first, you know, and I helped him to see that life, you create your story. Everything's just a moment. I need story. You give it as your creation. And I gave him a recording. You listen to a lot. And anyways, but. Month ago, he texted me and he's at, let's just say the top three film festivals in the world. So imagine the top festival in the world. And he's on the red carpet because his movie bought, sold and made with a huge star. And it says, and of course, before I even wrote him, I was going to say, you got to tell me, what do I teach my students and and my, clients, tell me, you know, what, you know, the difference that made the difference before I even said that he wrote, never give up exclamation point. You know, I said, I know we all know that to tell me the mindset, like, what could you attribute it? And he said, okay, let me think about it. And he said, the first thing was I realized how to get rid of this story that I was creating for myself. The story that, why me? Why not? Like, it's just a story. Second thing is I had to feel the success first. Feel success. Third thing was I never gave up, but at the same time completely trusted the universe, that artificial intelligence idea, that universe, right? Completely trusted, but never gave up at the same time, right? And the fourth thing was, I listened to your recording a lot. And in the recording, I remember you said like doubts are nothing more than something you create and if you create it, you can uncreate it. And I use the metaphor. I don't know if I did in that recording of if you and I are walking to a pizzeria and there are birds flying by, do we go? Oh, I can't go. There are birds flying by. I have to pay attention to like, just because you have thoughts and ideas that are modeled from parents or from TV or Your friends doesn't have to pay attention. There's just opportunities to you

Robyn Cohen 1:36:40

created it. You can uncreate it

Joe T 1:36:43

and just keep moving forward, not giving up feeling that feeling and just being excited about moving forward. So yeah. So that's where I see us going because another client texted me the same day and he was in a wheelchair and he was getting worse every day and he was closing down in a wheelchair and his body was shutting down every way. And, he called me and he's now talking. I never heard his voice. He goes, I'm talking, I'm doing well today. I walked, he goes, I'm calling everyone that made a difference in my life. And he said, what you told taught me was. The future self to be the consciousness of the desire I want and live there and I kept living with me and you in a bar having a drink together. I'm walking. I was just like, okay, but he said, but I had to call you because I walked today. And you can hear him talking. I'm doing better. And like, this is a person who for three years he's getting worse and worse and worse to the point where our last session he had a, um, canceled because he couldn't talk. And then he had to go to the hospital to get a feeding too, because he couldn't even take down food anymore. I thought he was, it was over for him. I mean, this is three years. I got him on the last, uh, Two months of the past three years, it's getting worse and worse. And all he did is stay in bed all day and think about that future self, like Joe Dispenza did, like just living as a future self. Now, I think it was something we did before that. I don't want to get too personal, but we did what's called a parts integration about why the body wants to shut down and what he's not listening to kind of thing. But it was that was the most miraculous that day was one of those things. I was just like, wow, this really is true. I keep forgetting like this. It happens all the time, but it's not me. I don't want to say to me because they're the ones who commit. So I can, you can get on YouTube any day. You can get on TikTok and hear what I'm saying a million different ways. But these two people committed. He listened to my recording all the time. He was committed to that change. The other guy just sat in bed, visualizing himself hanging out with me in a restaurant or a bar or something like. All the time, like living there, feeling it, you know,

Robyn Cohen 1:38:40

I mean, it's totally extraordinary and that the work works the way that it works. And I'll just say that it. Yes, we can get this information, but I never understood. It was gobbledygook before I was sitting in your office.

Joe T 1:38:55

It was

Robyn Cohen 1:38:56

literally like gibberish, the embodiment of this work that you are. It's like, it's not like you're talking to me. It's like, it's coming through you, literally coming through you, it's just an experience that I hope everyone listening to this and all of your friends and family members can have. and it's such great news, the story's been beautiful, phenomenal, both, the good news is that like the work was just, it was feeling good. Here's what their work was, inside of what you just shared. Their work was like to sit there and feel so good.

Joe T 1:39:33

Yeah, accept what it is.

Robyn Cohen 1:39:36

Yeah.

Joe T 1:39:37

Don't ignore it, but devalue it and disengage from it and don't exclude it. But it has nothing to do with what's permanent. What now is impermanent. What you're loving is permanent because it lives in the field permanence. It's not part of the world. So when you love what you want and you stay there. You don't have to get wrapped up. It's not working or not working. Who's working? What working? I'm holding what I am and I'm aware of what it is, but I'm not going to give it a meaning or a story. I'm just saying it's in juxtaposition with what I love. I just be aware of those two things always in place will create a stressor. And if you give that stressor meaning rather than the meaning called change to get any other meaning though, this is what change feels like. Then you stopped. It's several mechanism from getting closer to the target you're holding because you have got in the way. It's like going this way and you try to help it. No, it knows how to adjust. You got to keep the GPS. I just know where you are at the same time. It's a weird thing. We're not. We did it when we learned to walk. But it's a weird thing to be completely consumed with where we're going and completely present to where we are. And it keeps those two things in our mind constantly. It's the creative process. It's very hard to do.

Robyn Cohen 1:40:51

It's so gorgeous. But that this this is available.

Joe T 1:40:55

Yeah, it's exciting

Robyn Cohen 1:40:56

It is

Joe T 1:40:57

but I was excited for 20 years until I decided to prove it when I went to go do it for three months It was the opposite of this. It was this kind of this like You Disengagement receiving feeling. It wasn't a dopamine feeling. It was more of a endogenous endorphin feeling, oxytocin, low arousal states of receiving and disengaging. And then that created its own dopaminergic pattern of wanting more of itself. So it was a desire based on creativity rather than a Buddhist desire. Based on suffering that I need something to get away from something and that desire just promises to get rid of pain This desire is more of a recursive loop of appreciation and desire Building on each other. So it's a win win win win win. You feel good no matter what You're enjoying the pursuit. You're giving yourself a right to be a child. Again,

Robyn Cohen 1:41:52

this is the mystical thing that I knew was going to have looked up when I looked to the heavens and said, something mystical is going to happen today. This is it. Literally in the throes of becoming. Let's just say a podcast producer that knows how to use an editing bay and create layers into programs that I've never even heard of and watching tutorials. This is what I do for hours and hours a day. And I cry and I shake because it's me back in Maryland with my dad trying to get my math homework done and I can't do it and I'm crying. and to hear you walk us through this process, Joe, literally you just walked me back home to myself and I, and I know for everyone else who's listening,

Joe T 1:42:43

and everyone else who's listening right now, I've walked them to falling asleep.

Robyn Cohen 1:42:49

Not a chance. Not a chance Please let everyone know how they can be in touch with you, how they can work with you, how they can be a part of your community. I get to be part of that community on Wednesday evenings and I know there's so much more beyond that. and this is going to air in the new year, and I am so excited for people to have. You, on their side to do this work. So how can they find you?

Joe T 1:43:16

Well, my name's right there. So if you just put Joe TabTabbanellacom, you'll go to my website and then you can either become a weekly member subscription where everyone's there. We do questions and answers, insights like this, and then meditation. I'm also putting a group together and then we're going to be doing these like two month groups it might be three month group. we're doing a beta group right now test. And, we all have a goal and we, we all support each other's actions and meditations and like kind of a little bit of accountability every day And then we're going to get that result in three months, or at least know that we're really close to it because some results take eight months, some take three years, but. Like they know the rhythm now where they're headed. So that will be happening. There'll be emails going out so at least subscribe if you don't join the wednesday night subscribe To the email because i'm about to do newsletters and some of those newsletters will have that information There's recordings on my website, of course that you can download gps my future and things like that

Robyn Cohen 1:44:16

and on youtube as well oh, yeah youtube.

Joe T 1:44:18

You can find that on my on my website. I think great. Yeah

Robyn Cohen 1:44:22

And just to complete that piece, as I've been going through sometimes what feels like turmoil in, creating this daily joy ride podcast, what you just shared about just falling so in love with what I see for this. And when I think about the people that are going to get to hear this conversation and others like this on your website and on YouTube and in cyberspace everywhere. That fills me with the power of love that is so strong it can get me through any editing tutorial that I have to go through, like, like no problem. No problem.

Joe T 1:45:03

Yeah. Cause you got that to let the other stuff move through. Right.

Robyn Cohen 1:45:06

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Joe T 1:45:11

Yeah,

Robyn Cohen 1:45:12

it is just awesome. And I so appreciate you in, in every language. So thank you. Grazie. Miente,

Joe T 1:45:19

miente. Miente, grazie,

Robyn Cohen 1:45:21

and shalom, and merci. Molto

Joe T 1:45:26

gentile. Grazie mille per Yes.

Robyn Cohen 1:45:32

Everything that you just said. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Till next time. Oh, well, that was everything. Oh my goodness. I'm just reeling with the deliciousness and the delight of that conversation with Joe Tabbanella some of the takeaways we want to keep in mind that juicy, yummy, delicious thing in our mind's eye as we process the uncomfortability and inside of that structural tension of where we are and where we want to go, We keep processing that emotion as we stay with that vision of where it's all going, which will pull us into actions and things that we can do and say that are going to get us there. Another takeaway Not having to give away our essence to anybody for anything that we can hold onto ourselves while adjusting our behavior when it's called for to adjust And, Yeah, getting that Our body is often thinking that we're in trouble or there's a problem or our body is having feelings of fight or flight and continuing to use our minds to talk to our brains, letting, our central nervous systems know that we're okay. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. So that all that cortisol can drain out of us. Wow. And there's more I'll post it in the show notes, but if you, enjoyed or appreciated this episode, please share it with your friends, subscribe to The Daily Joy ride podcast. For life changing conversations like these and I hope you enjoyed and got so much out of it can't wait to See you and connect with you next time So, please email me always any guests that you would like to see come on any ideas that you have for an episode And anything in between anything that you're dealing with questions you might have about what you heard today And, I'll be sure to get back in touch with you and we'll talk all about it till next time much love and enjoy. Okay.