Roots in the Foyer-Ep 98

Red hijacks the morning to perform a ritual intended to feed the town, while the rest of the party somehow concludes that what Willowshore really needs is a talent show. Those plans are put on hold when a band of kappas arrives with troubling news. The companions rush to Mirror Lake to save an old friend and proceed to roll more thirty-fours than should reasonably be possible.

Pathfinder Second Edition Remastered and the Season of Ghosts Adventure Path by Paizo Inc. Used under Paizo’s Community Use Policy. https://paizo.com/

Music and sound design by ⁠Monument Studios⁠, creators of premium TTRPG audio assets. 

Music in part by @MichaelGhelfiStudios (https://michaelghelfistudios.com)

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey everybody, this is Jeff. And no joke, since episode one, we're getting close to 100 episodes here, right? Since episode one, every single recording session, Courtney has been holding a gun to my head. I have been afraid for my life this entire time, and I'm worried that if Gardas dies, Courtney will pull the trigger for real. So please support us past 100 episodes.

SPEAKER_05 1:04

Yellow for balance, orange for the emotion, and red to fuel it. Welcome to the odd box. We're here to add a little more color to your life.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

What sense do you guys know you're missing or isn't just quite tuned enough?

SPEAKER_06 1:16

Hearing.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Like of the five senses? Not if I mean are you missing one of your five senses? There's like 20 something. How many? Oh my god, are we doing that thing where like each different taste is a different sense of the case? No, didn't they discover a new sense recently?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

No, the so like one of them is they did. One of them is having uh like orientation. Uh one of them is being able to like remember your house, that it's your house. That's an actual sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like um there is a bunch of we should stick with a five, maybe. Well, no, I like where this 20-something is.

SPEAKER_05 1:52

Remembering your house is not a sense. Like outside of common sense, uh 100% it is.

SPEAKER_06 1:57

Because if you if you're talking to an autistic person right now who knows about senses, no, it's true.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

It's something you've studied extensively. No, it happens, it happens to people out of the blue sometimes where they where they wake up and they're like, this is not my house. Whose house are we in? Oh, yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Whose house?

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Whose house are we in? Some people can't walk around the block. Uh, your ability to sense where your limbs are, that's a sense in itself. Proprioceptive and vestibular senses. Um, oh, you got the list up.

SPEAKER_05 2:28

Sounds like touch to me, but whatever. You have a when you're not touching something.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

When you're not touching something, you have a list of your arms when you're not touching something. Some people can. Some people can you have that sense. That's touch. Being insensitive, okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Tony doesn't. Um, the list that I leave sympathetic. I typed into Google and it says visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory. That's taste. Yep. Tactile. Uh tactile again, but for different reasons, apparently, vestibular and proprioceptive. So that's like balance and then like your spatial awareness.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Um okay.

SPEAKER_06 3:09

I struggle with hearing. I think my hearing is good, but being able to distinguish words has always been very hard for me. Like, I can't watch TV without subtitles. I have to like really focus on somebody when they're talking to me. And working in a place where everyone wears masks, I have a really hard time understanding what people are saying, especially if they're facing away from me.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

You do recognize people by their mouths.

SPEAKER_06 3:35

I do. I stare at mouths a lot. So I like I will recognize an actor, like the guy I can't, I don't know actors' names either. Um, the guy that plays Big Bird.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Um distinct mouth on that one.

SPEAKER_06 3:46

Davy Jones, we've talked about him before.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Oh, yeah, Bill Knight.

SPEAKER_06 3:49

He has a very distinct mouth to me, and I can recognize him anywhere just by watching him talk. Um, I do that a lot with actors. I don't know their names, but I know their mouths.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Odd.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

Very intimate with the very intimate, high level of intimacy. Um I have no sense of time. Oh, you stole mine. Does that count?

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Damn it. It does count. Which one does that on the list? That's not on the list, but it should be.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

No, it doesn't count. So again, you failed the test.

SPEAKER_06 4:20

Okay, here we go. You can't make up your own answers.

SPEAKER_04 4:25

My open, my cold open.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

I have no sense of fashion social that one works. Social integration.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

We're wearing the same thing today.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

You know what I mean? So we can just make up our own sense for this conversation. Yeah. Jeff's so mad right now.

SPEAKER_06 4:41

Okay, Jeff, why don't you talk?

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Hearing. What you just sold Courtney's. It makes it uh uh unclimactic.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Hey, does working in the hospital sound like it does on the show The Pit?

SPEAKER_02 4:53

I apparently that's I haven't watched it, but apparently that is one of the most like medically accurate. I wish doctors do everything. I would everything.

SPEAKER_06 5:02

They transport their patients to CT, they draw the labs and take them specifically down to the lab themselves.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Okay, like I just said I had not seen it, but I haven't heard either.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

I just wondered because my wife had it on, and the soundscape of the show is horrific. It's the worst sounding show I've ever seen in my life. Like it's like they designed it to give you anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Is it just a constant high-pitched ringing?

SPEAKER_03 5:25

Yeah, there's ringing, there's beeping, there's people talking, there's echoing.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

It's very loud in an ER. Yeah, it is very chaotic. Right. It is actually very loud, and it's one thing that's like contributed to my tinnitus over the years. Working in the OR for 20 years, just sitting next to a suction machine, like it's just a constant background noise that isn't overpoweringly loud, but loud enough to the point where hearing it for every single day for 20 years has caused tinnitus. Yeah, I'm really surprised by like the number of beeping, and then how much of my job is dice like uh deciphering which beeps I have to pay attention to and which one of the noise like, oh, I need to do something for that one, but that one has nothing to do with me. Uh-huh. Yeah, no, there have been people who have recognized me for like um I'm just sitting there doing something else, and then I'll notice the beeping has just slightly changed in a tone. And I'll go up and just kind of stand behind the anesthesiologist in case they need something, because I know that that beeping means if the beeping continues to change tone, then it's bad. Something's wrong back to its tone from before, it's good. So there have been people that's a little ventilator on. Yeah. Oh my god. There have been people that said, like, hey, I appreciate you like understanding that I possibly needed something, even though nothing absolutely nothing happened.

SPEAKER_06 6:39

Or sometimes they get upset that you're hovering when they're like, I got it under control, okay? Yeah. I heard a bad beep. The blood pressure is like 60 over 20. And it's like, do you need anything? I give this man some salt. Uh but we have in one of our rooms there's this um blanket warmer that if it's left open, it has the worst high-pitch, like constant alarm. And nobody knows what it is except me because I'm the ones in this room all the time. But everyone just like stops and is looking around, like, what is that? Because it sounds like somebody's dying, and it's just a fucking blanket warmer. Like, just close the damn door.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

Trying to heat the whole outside. Come on, raising a barn.

SPEAKER_06 7:22

Um you guys have any real senses that you want to list?

SPEAKER_03 7:27

I don't always feel pain when I'm supposed to. We've talked about that before, but there's been a few times where I've like broken a bone or something. It doesn't hurt until like my whole leg swells up.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Um my leg hurts. I'm all senses all the time. If if I had a special score, it was the highest perception, would probably be it. Um, although I am like 38 and my eyes are starting to finally oh yeah, they're not superhuman anymore. Um, and I definitely noticed that all the time. It takes a lot longer in the morning for them to like warm up and 100%.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

I'm I'm there with you, man. There have been times recently, I've always had very good vision. Yeah. There have been times recently where I've looked at something like some writing, and I didn't even try to read it. Yeah. Like it's too small. I'm like, I don't know. Focus your eyes. I know I'm not even gonna be able to do this.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

Well, that's what I even if I focus my eyes, I know I'm not gonna be able to read that. Yeah. That's the weirdest thing to me about like my vision changing as I get older, is that sometimes it's fine. Like sometimes it's amazing, and then other times there's like a kid at school who's 200 feet away from me, and I'm like, do I know who that is? Is that a human being? It's his son. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 8:32

Do I know you?

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Do I know you? But uh no, generally I don't I don't struggle with any of my main senses. Um time, time's the big one for me. I really do like I struggle to, you know, I just wake up and that's like 30 years later. Like that's how it feels sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

The days are long and the years are short.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yeah, I you know, I'll be like, I'll wait for a minute and I'll try and wait for a minute and ten seconds will have gone by. And then I'll say, Well, I'll wait for a minute and like 30 minutes will have gone by, and there's just like I don't know, there's something about my brain that's very terrible with it. Most of the time I'm I'm pretty good. And when I'm napping, yeah, that that's the one time I can tell time. Weird because I can I uh if I'm sleeping and I set my alarm clock on my phone, but I haven't woken up to my alarm clock maybe more than 10 times in the last 10 years. Wow. Because I will just uh something will trigger in my head and I will roll over and I'll check my phone and it'll be one minute before my alarm goes off. That's the one time I can tell time is when I'm not peeing when you're still every time I take a nap, somebody pees my bed.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

So so weird.

SPEAKER_03 9:46

Somebody else comes in.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Yeah, and I'm like, what the hell to me before? I understand.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

But yeah, when I'm conscious, I'm I'm terrible at it. But when I'm unconscious and uh unconscious, then I'm uh have superhuman abilities.

SPEAKER_06 10:03

What about you, Tony?

SPEAKER_02 10:04

I wish I saw more colors. Like more than there are? I just like more, I like more of the color spectrum, like more of the light spectrum. Like X-ray and you wouldn't be able to carry on with your day.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

So you're not looking for something like carrying on with my day as it is. Like it's not like an average deficit that you're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

No, I said like a tune that's like not as uh as tuned as you would like it to be, or something like that, or yeah, and you guys started making up senses and just saying you wish your hearing wasn't shot for all the fucked up stuff you've done throughout your life. And I'm just like, man, wouldn't it be cool if I saw birds the way they're mental like look? Like when they see them. Yeah, that'd be cool.

SPEAKER_06 10:44

I all I often I think I've said this before, but I often want to know what my dogs smell because they'll just be sitting outside. No, you don't know. I want to be able to turn it off. I don't want it constant, but like they'll just be sitting outside and there's a breeze coming through and they have their nose in the air and they're just sniffing something. I'm like, what does that smell like?

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Somebody died here 30 years ago.

SPEAKER_06 11:05

And then I can turn it off.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

This whole town is built on bones.

SPEAKER_06 11:09

Like, how do you know what a squirrel smells like?

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Yeah, it would be I guess it would be cool to have like binocular vision of an eagle where you can zoom in and zoom out and stuff. It'd be crazy. Yeah, I would.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Whenever I think of the the eye colors thing, though, it always makes me think of uh people getting those corrective uh color blindness glasses and how it's just like 100% of the time they are going to have a breakdown.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

It's just the same thing when people get hearing for the first time, regardless of how old you are. Yeah, your brain's not wired for it yet.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Yeah, really overwhelming. That's so emotional.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Colors are cool. I want more of them. I'm bored with the ones I have.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

He's getting mantis shrimp eyes.

SPEAKER_06 11:51

Please don't. I feel the difference between you and us.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Tony comes home from work one day and like, you know, closes the door and you're like, How's your day? And he turns around to look at you, he's like, I got mantis eyes, and they just like stick out and up and a new surgeon. He's like, You should see it.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Oh, time and hearing.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

No, if I could, uh it would be like the proprioceptive one. If I could dial that up a bunch, I think I'm already really good at it, but I'd love to be amazing.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Which one is proprioceptive again?

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Like your ability to tell where your body's at in space and stuff. So balance. Yeah. Okay. Like athleticism. Vesti vestibular is, I guess vestibular is your balance. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Social awareness.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Like Daredevil, kind of. Yeah. I don't know. That seems what it would be like.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

I did a lot of sports and it just like uh, you know, there are people who are just really good at it, and I want to be one of those people. Yeah. You know.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

I just want to be better at sports.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

Yeah. If I could dial up a sense, the other ones are all pretty good. They're probably too good. You know, I don't I'd I'd like to be a little number.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah, being able to smell really well sucks, um, generally speaking. Because the people and then uh like I don't know, being able to see is fine, but being able to see really well is nice. Um that didn't really ever cause any real problems. Being able to hear really well is kind of a pain in the ass.

SPEAKER_05 13:22

Being able to see really you guys have the sense to clean up the graveyard.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

You don't just leave the uh bones out everywhere, and then you hurry off to go get some sleep. You begin working on the kiln as the time to cast the ritual approaches ever closer. And it's about that time the Kappa's visit with a surprise delivery of timber. It's a big thank you for the changes you brought about during the Festival of the Bound Current. During this uh night of revelry and celebration with your newfound friends of Willowshore, rumors are beginning to spread about uh around the two factions of Willow Shore, North and South. The tensions are rising again as some people think they need to do what they can to make it through winter, you know, just white knuckling it, while others are willing to gamble a little bit more if it means a brighter, more fruitful future. And so you guys decide to tackle this problem half drunk. The party makes little progress in diffusing the tension, but you have a successful jumping contest back at home. And so, despite a full-length episode, we uh got through the mostly by uh with roleplay and very little Pathfinder. Congratulations, guys. Everyone roll for this hero point.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Okay. Do I want to win?

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Oh, I'll roll a d hundred.

SPEAKER_06 14:54

It's not me, I can tell you that.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

I got an 11. I got a nine.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

I win. 16.

SPEAKER_06 14:59

Six.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Will you give this to Jeffrey? Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:02

What if I don't think he deserves it?

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Irrelevant. I'm gonna keep it. None of you really deserve it. Irrelevant. I'm gonna keep it till I die. That hurt me a little. What is the hero point situation? One.

SPEAKER_06 15:14

Zero.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Hero points around the table to those who've earned them. Jeff didn't earn it. You roll higher next time you would have earned it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:23

He cheated. I didn't see the dice.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Don't look.

SPEAKER_06 15:27

That's a one.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Hey, life rolled a D100, alright? It's not your fault for not thinking outside the box.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

Still rolled a six.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Um, it is up to you guys. You guys know that the Princess Dragoom should have been here by now. You know that uh the sakaki wood planks will be ready in about six days. Your kiln is ready to be fired.

SPEAKER_05 15:58

Ready for you guys to be baked alive inside.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

I don't know what the plan is. I don't know what you guys want to do.

SPEAKER_06 16:04

Neither do we.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

I don't think I ever want to run a sandbox adventure for you fuckers ever again. Please don't.

SPEAKER_03 16:11

Put my put my uh agency on rails. Yes, you know, please think about it as level as possible.

SPEAKER_06 16:19

Some side quests here and there. We can choose whether we want to do it or not.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

If it can just be the trolley problem again and again and again.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Yeah, it'd be sick. Each version a little bit more messed up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

This is something I've said a couple of times and it's never really come up because you guys spend most of your free time retraining because you don't know how to build your characters. You can do things to get ahead of this attrition. You can decide to go hunting, you can decide to build up houses, you guys can decide to put on a show at the stage, you know? Hoop, hoop, hope, food, security, hoop, hood.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Um food.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Uh so on top of all the other real objectives, quote unquote real objectives you have, you can do other things to make sure that you have a little more hope or food or security if you, you know, don't want to, you know, specifically. I mean, what are your options right now? What are your guys' current objectives? I'm not tracking this stuff. I can tell you. I he pulls out a small pocketbook. Yeah. This is my alchemist's recipe book. Um, Gardius has been a little bit more than a little bit. Yeah, will you talk about this a little bit so people know? And I'm again, I'm not worrying about it because I'm tired of trying to know all the rules all the time. So you explain the rules this time. We barely scratched the surface of it, but the inventor feat that I got at level eight, it allows you to add basically any common formula into your uh uh book as long as you can spend the time and the gold to do it. And the formulas are actually really cheap. Um, so over at least two of those days, uh Gardas has been experimenting with uh elixir and different alchemical uh alcoholic brews and stuff. So I've added two more uh two more recipes to my book. The Spider Foot Brew, which gives you one minute, a climb speed of 15, and then Leaper's Elixir, which is right now it's one minute. Uh basically it gives you the what is it, the long jump feet?

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Yeah, it's like quick jump. Yeah, quick jump.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Yeah, so it makes you jump for one action instead of two. And you don't have to stride first. Correct. But also at level seven, it became you can high jump the same as you can long jump. So it's basically it's sort of like um a little bit toned down version of my feet of or of my shoes, not my feet, uh, but of my sandals. This elixir tastes like your fingers. That's what it's supposed to taste like. Why do I know what that tastes like?

SPEAKER_06 18:50

It has toenails in it.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Um, so that gives me sort of like a full minute of having somewhat of the powers of my sandals. And since I'm focusing a lot more on jump right now because of these sandals, um, like basing my whole character off of it at this point, uh, I thought it might be good to have.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Do you think the one that lets you climb turns your hands into spider hands, or do you think you get like a million little petty palps on the surface of a Spider-Man?

SPEAKER_02 19:21

So yeah, you get all those little hooks on your fingers and stuff, and you can creepy climb up the wall. I think at one point I would be like, hey, Ari, check this out, and I'd like to climb up the wall and like look at her all creepy from on the ceiling and stuff.

SPEAKER_06 19:33

You're freaking me out.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Nah, it's cool.

SPEAKER_06 19:36

It is cool, but scary.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

You try to climb a tree and you just rip the bark off. Here, you try it, and I give you one.

SPEAKER_06 19:41

She skitters up the wall.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Oh god, it's so much creepier when you do it.

SPEAKER_06 19:46

It's like uh the like high-pitched violin sound as she's going up the wall. Scary movie.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

But yeah, so that's what Gardas has been spending a lot of his time on um is just inventing new alcohols that have uh alchemical properties to them.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

Uh red on our it doesn't it only takes an hour to do this ritual, so I'll just say it's his one a day, you know, I guess I don't know. But um, he's gonna try out one of his rituals that he learned, which is the sweetest solstice. And uh it's uh Tianjia like tr tradition to try to make some uh glutinous rice balls when the weather's bad and the nights are long, and uh, you know, stuff them with bread beans and taro and lotus and stuff. And uh we all get around and we uh pray sing praises to Daikitsu and um you know our other loved deities. And uh like Torag. Yeah, Torag. Exactly. The Lady of Graves. The Lady of Graves. And so I want to try to fire one of those off today.

SPEAKER_05 20:53

Okay, so you looked at the cost and then that.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

Yeah, paid it already.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Uh primary check is really interesting. I don't know if you're gonna have a conversation. That seems like a good role-playing moment to me. A s uh targets, a settlement with a level equal to or lower than twice the rituals rank. Um What is the rank of the ritual?

SPEAKER_03 21:14

Two.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Uh our settlement I think is six. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

So we can do it at equal to or lower than twice the rituals rank. So we'd have to run it at level three? Yeah. Yep. Okay, no problem. Alright. I'm gonna are you are you ready? Yeah. Garders. What? I want to make a like a big pot of soup.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

I can do that. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

You know, I thought about it. Uh, but to be honest with you, I think he's probably doing something important right now.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

And so I figured if you consider maybe you could help me out passed out drunk face down in the river important.

SPEAKER_05 21:52

Even for a level three, these DCs are stupid high.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Yeah, well, you know, it'll be worth it if it goes off. If not, we'll have a bowl of soup.

SPEAKER_06 21:58

So he said no problem.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

This is a magic soup. It's not one of your recipes.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Oh, okay. It's actually a good soup. Well, I don't know if it's good or not, but it'll feed a lot of people if we do a good thing. Let's cook it. Come on. Come help me. Let's do this.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Yeah, okay. So I already got all the ingredients. I got some sesame paste, some sugar, some rice balls. Where'd you source this? So just don't worry about it. I got some uh pinkish red juju bee juice. I got feel worried.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Oh. This is what I thought. Why it had to be. If the ritual can only be performed once each winter season, if performed on the night of the winter solstice, the DCs of the ritual skill check are reduced by two. Does that mean we passed the other one? What? No, I mean we didn't. We failed that one pretty bad. Yeah, we failed the other one.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

Yeah. But that was another one that can only be tried once a season. Yeah, yeah. So it's off by the time.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

But we did it on the solstice.

SPEAKER_03 22:44

Yeah. Alright. Okay, so. Here's here we go. We gotta say nice things about our deities. Cookity cook. Cook. Toriag's the best. I mean, he's not the best. Salica's around. You know what I mean? He's like the second best. No. That's absolutely wrong. We're just gonna get in an argument about whose deity is best. We're gonna fight the whole time that we're cooking. Yeah. Um alright, so uh you want some checks?

SPEAKER_02 23:13

I mean, you're running this. Uh the primary check, uh, you have to be an expert in cooking lore. Oh, are you an expert in cooking lore? Secondary checks, diplomacy, performance, or religion. I think you might be able to do two of these.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

Wait, what do I get for my feats for being a person? I hope you're not asking me.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

There needs to be three secondary casters. Oh, sick.

SPEAKER_03 23:32

We need the whole crew. I'm not an expert in cooking lore. I'm just trained in cooking lore. That might not matter. Hang on just a second.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

I can do religion okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:41

Maybe that's why we haven't done this one yet.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

Because we weren't actually supposed to be able to and we just wasted 15 minutes. Hey, that's not fair. Every minute with you guys is a waste. Thank you, Tony. You know. Well, then sorry. Uh what episode are we on now? This is 98. Sounds right. So, like 150 hours wasted. Oh, it's way more than that, because we don't record everything we do.

SPEAKER_06 24:11

So I also have um I took an additional lore for my skill feet. Uh, I chose rituals, um, and an expert in it. So if Tony allows me to use that as a knowledge role, I could be expert in Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

It just says that it's supposed to be an expert in cooking lore, supposed to be the primary check.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Yeah, we don't have that.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

Oh, bummer.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Maybe we could ask for help in Willowshore.

SPEAKER_06 24:45

We should ask Cedric.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

Are there any expert cookers in Willow Shore?

SPEAKER_02 24:51

Oh yeah. There's actually a couple. Dr. Dami comes to mind. But you know, the best cookie would probably be old Matsuki. Let's go get let's go get Matsuki.

SPEAKER_06 25:03

We'll go to your mentor, Gardis.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

How is he my mentor?

SPEAKER_06 25:05

Didn't you learn how to do all of this stuff? She motions to your like chemistry alcohol set from him.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

I mean Did you forget that? I learned the basics from him. I wouldn't say all of this. I invented a bunch of this. Nobody else knows how to do this but me.

SPEAKER_06 25:21

You needed a mentor at one point, and that was him.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Yeah, but he really just gave me a basic level of understanding. At one point. And then you took a swing at him. Yeah. Well, he was being uh anyway. We don't have to talk about that. That was a real canine thing to do.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

Okay, so the secondary checks are diplomacy, performance, or religion. So I know I've got a good religion and Ari's got a good performance. I'll do diplomacy. Do you have diplomacy, religion, or religion? Yeah, I've got religion. Okay, cool. So we'll just take all of the ingredients that Gardas helped prepare, and then we'll just leave him.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

No, I'm going with you.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

Alright. Alright, let's take all this stuff over to Matsugi. See what he says. I bet you take a giant pot of soup. Yeah, yeah. Just carrying it like on a stick. Yeah. We're about the same height now, so the stick would be even between the two of us. Yeah, we can like it's on one on your shoulder, the other stick on the shoulders. What are the things called that a king rides on? A palanke palankeen. Palan king.

SPEAKER_06 26:22

Keen.

SPEAKER_03 26:23

Palankeen. Yeah. But that's we just need two of us to carry it. Yeah, but it's like a soup palanquine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 26:29

I'm not carrying that.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

Yeah, you don't have to. It's okay. Me Gar's got it.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Yeah. It's just the two of us with a stick and a big ass pot of soup in between.

SPEAKER_06 26:38

I'm gonna sit on it.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

Alright. You know, you weigh more now that I'm smaller. That's not true. That's not how you're gonna be. No. He called you a yak earlier. I know. That was a compliment. We've gone over this a bunch of times.

SPEAKER_06 26:54

And he wanted my milk.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

No, that's not what I was saying. It was metaphor. It was like the equivalent.

SPEAKER_06 27:01

I just don't think you should make comments about my weight or how I look anymore.

SPEAKER_03 27:05

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, because you look so shitty. When I get my height back. What? When I get my height back. I have been called handsome for a dwarf.

SPEAKER_06 27:17

Yeah, by your mom.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Your mom was a real piece of work.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

She didn't call me handsome. She was messed up, man. I mean, I get it's different strokes for different folks, but she was on the far end. You did wait, yeah, you did meet her.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

That was the first time I had met her, too. She was absent for your birth.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Rude. Instead of uh calling you handsome, she was saying, Will you please give me a hand, son? You get off your ass. Yeah, give me a hand.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Help me overthrow reality.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

I think this is a good idea, but are we sure we have the means to feed the whole town with this? It doesn't seem like it'll be enough. And there are still two hundred and nineteen two hundred and nineteen? Yep. Two hundred and nineteen people.

SPEAKER_03 28:18

Well, you know, it says that it in my little book here on rituals. Says if we have a great success, there's enough soup and rice balls to field everyone in the settlement for a month. It's like magic soup.

SPEAKER_06 28:31

It's like lembus bread. You don't need a lot to feel full.

SPEAKER_05 28:33

Yeah. I think it is worth the try. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You get loose. I haven't done hold on.

SPEAKER_06 28:43

This helps his cooking lore.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think I think I'm ready. Alright. So we already got all the stuff prepped ahead of time, so we just need you to run us through the the last little bit of putting it together here.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

So Matsuki has, again, this rather large estate, right? It was this citadel in the early part of the adventure where you guys would, you know, base of operations, and so you put it out in the courtyard. This great iron pot. And it begins to bubble and steam. It's rolling up in thick white clouds. Snow's covering the rooftops, and it can't quite, you know, hit the pot or the fire and stuff. It's melting as it gets too close. The fire seems to be a little brighter than it should as it crackles underneath this large pot. You guys are warm and you can smell some of the onions and the river greens, the barley, the slow cooked broth. And he reaches into his robe, and you are surprised because you expect him to reach for another hold on, hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_06 29:50

With his other hand.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

He pulls out a ladle. And then he just gets up to the pot and he just watches the soup boil for a moment.

SPEAKER_05 29:59

And then he bows his head. Gee John, keeper of the warm pot. Listener at crowded tables. Guardian of the small home and the thin winters.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

He inhales and you can actually see him taking in the steam in the cold air. You can see it go into his nose and his mouth. Tonight we thank you for soup. And then a couple of people laugh, kinda like Courtney just did, and Masuki smiles faintly.

SPEAKER_05 30:31

Not fief. Not luxury. And then he holds out his lay-only gestures towards everyone. The meal that stretches. The meal that forgives. The meal that says, One more may still eat.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Wait, do we have to roll two? Uh oh yeah, I do the primary check last, so take it away. Alright, here we go. Yeah, religion. Wait, are you rolling, Courtney?

SPEAKER_06 31:05

Uh yeah, if I can. We we have to, right?

SPEAKER_02 31:08

Well, there's three secondary rolls, right? Yeah. Yeah, so technically one of us doesn't have to roll.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Yeah, yeah. I think we abandoned you.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

What were the choices again?

SPEAKER_03 31:17

Diplomacy, religion, and performance.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

I have 14 religion.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

I got 16 religion. I have uh 14 religion as well. I can actually, uh, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna let you guys take a break on this one because I can roll both the religion checks. Okay. Because I'm uh ritualist now. Fine.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

So that'll leave one more secondary performance for Ari.

SPEAKER_06 31:38

You chose me?

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 31:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

Yeah, I'm gonna be like, you guys are gonna be like, I can do religion. I'll be like, I'll take this one.

SPEAKER_06 31:44

I don't have a hero point, so I wasn't gonna use mine.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

I will say this right now. He it's possible, but he will need a bonus.

SPEAKER_06 31:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:55

Alright. You wanna do yours first?

SPEAKER_06 31:56

Sure. Chonk die coming up. Natural 17. Plus a 16. That's gonna be 33.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

Do these stack? I don't remember if they stack or not. Do you guys remember? We were stacking them. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Okay. So the first one from uh Red, he's gonna say a little thank you to Salik, the Minder of Mortals.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Um, we weren't stacking them, they've always bounced out. Okay, so bounce interrupt.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

That's okay. Nice try, Jim. Um he's like, I know you're big on second chances for people. We're trying to do our best to make it happen. Help us out a little. Ooh, not great. Um I'm gonna hero point that one because it's a three.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Wait, yeah, you rolled a three. Yeah. What is your plus? You said 16.

SPEAKER_03 32:39

Yeah. So 22 for my first roll.

SPEAKER_06 32:42

Come on, come on, come on. Oh, natural 19.

SPEAKER_03 32:45

Yes. So plus the two for being a ritual.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

The DC is 22, according to my little ritual calculator here. This is a critical. So you got a critical? Yep. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

And I got a that was a success then? Is that what I just rolled? What did you say? 22? Wait, what? He's doing two. I rolled a 22. I'm do two rolls.

SPEAKER_06 33:02

So he has a 22 and then the natural 19.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

I have to roll for the person whose position I take as a ritualist.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

You have to roll both of them? Uh-huh. Oh, I thought you just get to roll one and then count it as both. That would be cool. So that's what I thought. But it does make up for like, you know, when we were in the early adventure and the secondary cast were like intimidation diplomacy. Oh my god. Yeah, if he could take your spot for that, like it's still it's still big, right?

SPEAKER_03 33:24

So um 19 and 16 is 35 plus 2 is 37.

SPEAKER_06 33:29

So a success and a crit.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

A success is no bonus or no penalty. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:36

But and then we had two crits.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

Yeah. Two crits and one success. So that's legit the best we have ever done on a ritual. Unfortunately, Matsugi's a little too drunk. No standard success on the ritual. The pot contains enough black sesame soup and rice balls to feed a hot meal to everyone in the settlement for a week. The casters of the ritual gain a plus one status bonus to save us against fear effects for one month or until the end of winter, whichever comes first. Wow. Why don't you, Kyle, since you led the led us here, give me a D6 plus one roll. Two. You rolled a one? I rolled a one. Two food points. That's better than zero.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

Okay, what was the critical fail of that one? Um the suit becomes tainted and is it not only provides no nourishment but spreads food poisoning throughout the town. This might have disastrous effects as detailed later. I don't know. The casters.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

Oh, in Act Three, I forget that these rituals are tailored to the adventure path.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

The casters of the ritual become particularly affected by illness and become sick and four and can't reduce the condition for 12 hours. Wow. Sick and four. So are we at five, eight, and six now? Yeah. Yep. Yep. That feels a lot less dire than it's still not great.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Nope. Eight food. Uh and uh I will need help remembering this, but because it feeds you guys for a week when uh we do the attrition, which is coming up soon, you guys will not lose a food point. Yeah. Cool.

SPEAKER_06 35:14

Kyle will remember.

SPEAKER_05 35:17

Sweetest. Sweetest solstice.

SPEAKER_03 35:19

And we can only do it once a season. Or well, once a year respectively. Yeah, once a winter. So I could cross that off my list now. You forgot it.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

It's gone.

SPEAKER_03 35:29

It's gone. The book that I had just burst into flames.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

You didn't write the recipe down.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

What?

SPEAKER_02 35:37

When you invent these things, you're supposed to write the recipe down in a book.

SPEAKER_03 35:41

Do you see this part right here? Right here at the bottom, do you see what it says? No. It's right here it says you can't read. Right here it says it's really small, okay. My asking twice is considered smug and greedy, and everyone in the town will get poisoned and die. So well, that's a kind of a weird thing to make into a soup. Well, you know, you just ask the one time and you'd be grateful for the answer you got.

SPEAKER_06 36:02

Magic is magic.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

Yeah. I guess so. Just do our magic. Salik likes people to have second chances, not third chances. You know what I'm saying? Alright. Well, that took an hour, so what do we do with the rest of the day? I think I'm gonna. What can we do to make people more hopeful? I wanna I wanna encourage a little joy. Straight from feeding them a week's worth of soup. Should we put on a play or something?

SPEAKER_06 36:30

We can put on a show in the middle of town.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

That sounds awful.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

No, that sounds like a great idea.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

Komohono is there. That sounds like a wonderful idea. I uh bet I'll see myself out.

SPEAKER_04 36:47

You don't remember Como?

SPEAKER_02 36:49

He's the guy that always is uh He's the leader of the seven-colored songbird. Oh, that guy sort of remember him. Yeah, he gave you the That's very rude.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

That wasn't that wasn't as I thought Como, but you didn't mean it.

SPEAKER_04 37:04

I'm sorry. I gave you a gift when you were all alone.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Um Wow, we shouldn't put it on a show if we got a ton of you can be a part of the show. I don't want to. I'll keep my wardrobes to myself.

SPEAKER_06 37:24

I am sorry, I didn't mean that. Sometimes words just come out. Anyway, happens.

SPEAKER_03 37:31

You should have seen, come on, come on, you should have seen how upset she got when I said she was the yak of the party. You understand why that would be a compliment, right?

SPEAKER_04 37:38

Yaks are very important to the cultures they serve.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

See what I'm saying? He gets it.

SPEAKER_04 37:43

Pivotal, really, just like art and storytelling. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

Alright.

SPEAKER_04 37:52

I guess I don't know what ancestry this guy is, but I love him.

SPEAKER_06 37:56

Is he a Kazune? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

If if I can uh serve if I can represent the tea house while we are putting on a play, I guess we can do it. Okay, but it's Kazuma on Como. It's Kazuma.

SPEAKER_06 38:10

Um we're just making it up as we go.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

Um in a game like this, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 38:15

I don't feel like you should charge people though.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

I mean, as long as you're gonna pick up the tab, sure. Sure. Just say yes.

SPEAKER_06 38:23

Yeah. Totally.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Just placate me.

SPEAKER_06 38:26

I'll totally pick up the tab.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

I understand what this is. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 38:30

But you don't have to write any of the tickets down. It's okay. I'll remember.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 38:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

She does have a good memory if I remember correctly.

SPEAKER_03 38:37

She'll remember every one of those tickets. Yeah. Literally every bad thing I've ever done, she's remembered for later.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

And you've done a lot of shitty things.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Look who's talking. Bop meat kettle, you know what I'm saying? I mean, it takes one to know one.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Uh-huh. Who's the kettle?

SPEAKER_03 38:53

Hey. Hi Gardas. What? Hey Gardas. I've kind of had fun getting drunk and sabotaging things. You want to get hammered for the play that we put on? Don't tell the gang. Don't tell the gang.

SPEAKER_06 39:06

I think we're just gonna do a talent show. Everyone can co-show their talents and um just you know, bring up the cheer in the town.

SPEAKER_01 39:14

Oh yes, that sounds like an excellent idea.

SPEAKER_06 39:17

Alright. Impromptu talent show. Let's go spread the word.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

Talent show. Talent show in town.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Come to the talent show. You see a large group of children playing four crows and a corpse boat. Is it bigger than the last group? Yeah. It seems like almost every kid under like 13 in town because you're playing four crows and a corpse boat.

SPEAKER_03 39:47

That'd be like 30 kids. Probably. Given the size of our town. You're the mathematizard.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

We should just get them to advertise this talent show to everybody, right? So we don't have to walk around on the door. We should get them in it.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

That's very smart.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Yeah, let's get the kids to do it.

SPEAKER_03 40:05

I'm a little concerned about this, though, that they are that the group is getting bigger and they just drag somebody or a dead body around on a sled.

SPEAKER_06 40:11

Yeah, we should find something to be productive for them to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:14

We should put them in the talent show. Like advertisement.

SPEAKER_06 40:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 40:18

Hey kids, we're gonna have a talent show. You have two jobs. Job number one is show up and do something cool.

SPEAKER_04 40:23

You're not our dad.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

I'm nobody's dad. Well, I mean, I might be your dad specifically, but points at a kid. Their arms are too long, they're kind of hair. But I'm definitely not your dad. Um so uh you're too ugly to be my kid. I was gonna say too handsome, but you know, if you want to call a spade a spade, I guess that's up to you. Um damn, are either just kids.

SPEAKER_06 40:51

That was his inner monologue.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

Oh, okay. Um you guys should uh one, go spread the word, tell everybody we're having a talent show.

SPEAKER_04 40:58

And number two, when is the talent show? It's tonight. That's not nearly long enough to get my act ready.

SPEAKER_03 41:04

Hey, kid runs off.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

Hey, wait, you're one of the crows. Yeah, get back here.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

Maybe some of you guys are good at crows, you could pretend to be crows for the talent show, you know.

SPEAKER_05 41:13

Maybe you guys could be better at planning things.

SPEAKER_04 41:15

Okay, maybe it's tomorrow. It'll be tomorrow. Well, you can't make up your mind now and need to.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

No, do it tonight. It's tonight. It's tonight.

SPEAKER_03 41:22

It's tonight.

SPEAKER_06 41:23

Tonight and tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

You know why? Double feature. Because spontaneity is the spice of a performance, you know. If it's not real, it's not real. Be sure to wash off all of the mud before you come. Don't listen to him.

SPEAKER_06 41:36

We don't want a slippery stage. Someone might get hurt.

SPEAKER_03 41:39

Don't listen to her either. Show up as muddy as you want, too. This is a Will Shore.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

You smell like the brew. Hey. We didn't tell you to sit around here for a while before doing it. Go. Yeah, get busy.

SPEAKER_00 41:59

Go tell everybody.

SPEAKER_05 42:02

You guys are trying to spread the word, and kapas come into town. There's only about four of them.

SPEAKER_06 42:10

Hi guys.

SPEAKER_05 42:11

Greetings. Hello.

SPEAKER_06 42:14

Are you okay? What's wrong?

SPEAKER_05 42:16

We just got terrible news by way of the river. One of our ken up north. A long, long travel for us, especially upstream. I don't know if you know him or not, but his name is Uncle. Oh, we know.

SPEAKER_06 42:31

We know Uncle?

SPEAKER_05 42:32

He seems to be in trouble. Oh no. He says he cannot leave his lake. He's asking for help.

SPEAKER_06 42:39

I thought that's what he wanted.

SPEAKER_05 42:40

Yeah. He wanted to stay there.

SPEAKER_06 42:43

He's only been there for a little while. He's happy to be home.

SPEAKER_05 42:50

And find other resources. He's saying in this note, and he like unfurls this like seaweed style paper. Oh. He is trapped inside he cannot say something about the trees are taking their vengeance.

SPEAKER_03 43:07

Oh yeah, that was a similar situation to what happened at that festival we were at. I was there. You remember that.

SPEAKER_06 43:13

You know. We saw that festival.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

But we convinced the trees that we were good. Well, at that lake at Mirror Lake, but what about a what about a gourd lake, but what about a mirror lake?

SPEAKER_02 43:23

You guys chop down a tree afterwards, right?

SPEAKER_03 43:26

But there was a they used the trees weren't mad at them.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

Yeah, but maybe they are now. Because they chopped down one of the cypress trees, and the cypress trees have deep roots that could possibly go all the way up to Mirror Lake.

SPEAKER_03 43:38

I don't think that's I don't think that's possible. That'd be like 10 miles of tree root.

SPEAKER_02 43:42

Yeah, that they're the largest organism in the world is actually a tree. The last thing that it says is that the trees keep saying they are going to bring back Kugopti. Oh. But I don't know what that means. We gotta go.

SPEAKER_03 43:58

Yeah, we gotta go take care of that. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 44:00

The talent show.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

I got a I got a solution for that. We guys, we were organizing this talent show for tonight. What is a talent show? What the fuck is wrong with the show? No, no, Garnis, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

Cultural exchange opportunity. Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

You see, everybody has special talents, and this is the time for you to show off yours. Yeah, what did you guys go with?

SPEAKER_02 44:22

When you take a drink and then you have to impress everybody, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

Except you don't have to drink first, you just do the impressing.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

That sounds way too easy. You guys literally had a talent show again. I don't know these words. But see, when you meet common ground, it's actually easy to, you know, if you change your lens, you can actually, you know, bond better with a different sort of people rather than just assuming that they use the same vernacular you do. You're a cat artist now. Of the drinking contest?

SPEAKER_03 44:51

Uh-huh. Yeah. Sweet. There will be children. You let your children drink. No, I was just gonna say, don't let them drink. They're working their way up by practicing the impressive thing. They don't actually drink. And we don't do our drinking till after the show.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

Then where's the challenge? Um They can drink whenever they want. Yeah, you can drink whenever you want. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 45:14

So get the town drunk is what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah, the most important thing is that they're having fun. As long as they're having a good time, you run that town show however you want to. Gardas has barrels of it.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

Beautiful. It's in the tea house. Can we have some cucumbers? Yeah, sure. It's in the tea house. They look like potatoes. I mean, this time of year.

SPEAKER_03 45:34

This time of year we we dry them out and they know. So they shrink up a little bit, they get hard. They get turned white. If you throw them in a fire though, they're delicious. So for like an hour.

SPEAKER_02 45:44

For like an hour.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

Right. Tinfoil.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

I don't know tinfoil, but I have seaweed. Sure, yeah. That'll work. That'll work great, actually. When you said you had heard through the water, like I thought it was some kind of cool magical thing, but it was just like a note that was written that kind of let me down. We're not good at magic. Actually, one of the first times we've came to you was asking for magical help or weapons. Yeah, but I didn't know that's because you didn't have any of your own. Well, we do kind of disappointed at it right now. I saw some of our magic at the festival of current with like the ice and the fire. You don't remember how we cut the triangles in the ice? That was magic? I thought you just used saws. Nope. Nope. It was blue fire that we ceremoniously cast into existence to melt through the ice instantaneously. It was pretty cool in the moment. Okay, so in the moment.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

Just so I get some clarity on this. We we should go now for Unko. Yeah, how urgent did it seem it was. Or should we do the talent show and go in the morning?

SPEAKER_02 46:43

I'm mostly worried about this talk about trees bringing back this cookopti creature.

SPEAKER_05 46:47

I can't really make out all the handwriting, but it seems it's it it seems scary. Yeah, we shouldn't be able to do that. We should probably go.

SPEAKER_03 46:55

Try to go see Unko. It'll only take us a few days to get there and back. Yeah. Right, we'll be back right in time for our um burning. Yeah, for burning alive. For our self-inhalation that we're gonna do. Okay, uh, what'd you say your name was again?

SPEAKER_02 47:16

I'm chief of the Kappas. I'm Tilip. We've got to be a good one.

SPEAKER_03 47:19

I'm sorry, I know I just have the hardest time with names, and I don't want to call you turn up on accident, so I have to ask out of respect. No disrespect, man.

SPEAKER_02 47:27

I remember your name, but you guys just all look alike to me. That's one of the most racist things said on this podcast. Well, it's one of the least racist things I've ever said to you. Or about you. I guess I don't say them to you. I'm glad I'm not here to hear all of that. Listen, he's getting better. I don't believe you.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

I think this whole experience, I think this whole experience has been really good for the Willowshore Kappa relations, you know.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

I think we'll see, depending on if you know Anko lives or not, it'll be your next chance to either gain or lose reputation points. I'm trying not to take this conversation too seriously, because goddamn. I'm gonna just before we go, I'm just gonna crack a beer and pour it into his head bowl and be like, enjoy as we walk off. Kind of like that. Alright. Straight to the dome. I thought that's how they drank, to be honest. I didn't know they had to.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

Do we have to cast passwall again or whatever? Do you think we'll be able to get through? It's gone. Oh, it's gone now, okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:21

Yeah, we can get through.

SPEAKER_03 48:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

I'm gonna go back to my lake.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

Wait, no, you gotta run the talent show first. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:27

What the hell? We talked about this, Tella. I'm gonna I'm gonna delegate that to I'm chief, so I can give orders. Oh, to one of the other copas. You guys don't even drink beforehand.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

I mean, you can if you want to. I'm already drunk. You poured it straight into my head bowl. Yeah. That's not how we drink, by the way. Yeah, he's not in public.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Seems like it worked pretty good to me. Okay, let's go to Mirror Lake.

SPEAKER_06 48:55

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

You look like you have some PTSD Ari about this trail to Mirror Lake.

SPEAKER_06 49:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 49:02

Ari, don't worry about it. We can breathe underwater.

SPEAKER_06 49:05

Really prefer not to talk about it, but she lost some good friends.

SPEAKER_03 49:11

I lost some kids who I thought of as like my kids, or maybe my nephews, I guess. I didn't raise them, but real close, you know.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

Sometimes talking about it is the answer to feeling better.

SPEAKER_03 49:23

They made it 115 years.

SPEAKER_02 49:26

You think that it's better for Red to talk about it?

SPEAKER_01 49:30

Yes. No. If there is something that is bothering you, you should talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

Red can't shut up about it.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

Alright, let's go. Come on. Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

Yeah, we know you guys have some unusual things.

SPEAKER_06 49:43

The Haunties, the just, you know, the emotional spirit.

SPEAKER_03 49:49

Which just seem to be everywhere. Stay away from the graveyard. Yeah. Yeah, but I know you guys can do some impressive things, so we're real excited to hear back about the performance. Yeah, we'll just head out to save Unko, I guess.

SPEAKER_06 50:03

He needs our help.

SPEAKER_03 50:05

Do you guys remember that story you were telling me about trees and a heart or something?

SPEAKER_01 50:14

Who was telling you a story about a tree and a heart? I was?

SPEAKER_03 50:18

No, Ari was telling me about it.

SPEAKER_06 50:21

Courtney doesn't remember.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

You guys were trying to get a heart into a body or something, and then you got whipped by trees.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

Oh yeah, I remember that.

SPEAKER_06 50:30

Oh yeah. And Stefan had the heart in its mouth.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

Stefan. Gross.

SPEAKER_06 50:34

He was a deer.

SPEAKER_03 50:35

So it's not the first epic. It's not the first angry tree situation that you've run into.

SPEAKER_06 50:40

I didn't really help out too much in that situation, so that's why I didn't remember. We got some feathers.

SPEAKER_01 50:46

I remember.

SPEAKER_06 50:48

It was really scary.

SPEAKER_01 50:50

Yes, we have to go save my friend.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

Hey, Gardas. Huh. You got any anti-snake Alexers? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

Wait, I do. I have wait, um let me check my recipe book. I think I do. Maybe I haven't invented that one yet. Um, I haven't invented that one yet.

SPEAKER_06 51:16

I have three lesser antidotes.

SPEAKER_02 51:18

Actually, Ms. Mitsuki's medicinal wine does pretty good. It's against poison and disease and addiction. Ironically.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

Maybe we should get some wine on our way out. No, I got plenty. Oh, okay. Can I have a serving? Not for right now, for later.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:37

Okay, sick. And we're off.

SPEAKER_06 51:41

Does anyone else have any antidotes?

SPEAKER_02 51:45

I mean I can make a bunch of these.

SPEAKER_06 51:47

Just on the fly or?

SPEAKER_02 51:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 51:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:51

Um, I can make five of them for us in the morning and then make any on the fly if I need to. And it's plus two versus poison and disease. Okay. Cool. It's Matsuki's medicinal wine.

SPEAKER_06 52:04

What are the the downfalls?

SPEAKER_02 52:07

You get addicted to alcohol.

SPEAKER_06 52:09

I'll take my own antidote. Thank you. And you guys are welcome to to do that as well. I have three.

SPEAKER_02 52:16

You have an antidote?

SPEAKER_06 52:17

They last for six hours.

SPEAKER_03 52:19

I mean, you don't instantly get addicted to alcohol.

SPEAKER_06 52:22

I don't want it.

SPEAKER_03 52:22

I have an antidote in my bag already, if that's what this does. I don't want to be addicted to alcohol. That'd be a problem for everybody. You already are.

SPEAKER_01 52:28

He says with a drink in his hand.

SPEAKER_02 52:30

Yeah, right. He's worse than I am. At least I don't binge. It actually does not take you that long uh to start traveling out of town. The trail took you multiple days because you were stopping at shrines, but Mirror Lake is actually before the first shrine, if you guys remember. You put on your backpack, grab your armor, grab your gear, head out of town. The walk is hard. As soon as you make it out of Willow Shore, the trail is covered in snow. It's like up to Ari's waist. Everyone give me a fortitude save. Okay. I'm catch- I'm casting water breathing on all of us at level four, which means until our next daily preparation, we can all breathe water. Some of you guys might have the thought to protect yourselves from the environment as well, which would save you from this fortitude save. Okay. I like that. I have endura elements casted on myself. That's one of the things I have a yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. You can yeah, sure. We can set our spell list as we go. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:33

No, no, I have had it written down for weeks. I've got the wand of endura elements, so I'm gonna cast it on uh Ari.

SPEAKER_06 53:41

Thank you, Red.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

She gets whatever, one degree of whatever. Um 27 or sorry, 29 for my fortitude save. Pass.

SPEAKER_01 53:49

I rolled a two for a total of 20.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

Fail, you are fatigued. That is a minus one satisfying to AC and saving throws during exploration. You can't choose an exploration activity. Recover from tea fatigue after a full night's rest.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

Oh, baby Violet needs one. 25. Uh pass. Walking through the woods.

SPEAKER_05 54:14

Gonna go the uncle. Little turtle man.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

You guys make it to near a lake, and it is largely frozen over. And in a small patch near the center of the lake, you see a small green arm shoot out over the edge.

SPEAKER_05 54:34

You guys, don't come any closer.

SPEAKER_06 54:38

Uncle!

SPEAKER_05 54:39

It's not safe!

SPEAKER_04 54:40

What's going on? Don't trust the trees.

SPEAKER_01 54:44

Which one's Uncle?

SPEAKER_02 54:46

I never trusted him. All the trees, because we're outnumbered. Give me a perception check for initiative.

SPEAKER_06 54:56

I'm so scared.

SPEAKER_03 55:03

Vox. Baby Violet comes in with a whopping natural twenty for a 36.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

Dang. Gardis 22. Not that great. Pops, 28. Ari.

SPEAKER_06 55:21

Twenty-five.

SPEAKER_02 55:23

Red.

SPEAKER_03 55:24

Uh twenty-five. Baby Violet just goes after me, right?

SPEAKER_06 55:29

I thought so.

SPEAKER_03 55:29

Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot about that. I was looking that up. Did I make it? My bad. That's okay, I still love you.

SPEAKER_06 55:38

Yeah, gains two actions during your turn.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. It's just uh I, you know, added everyone to the combat as a group, and uh yeah, I came up with their own.

SPEAKER_06 55:50

It was a simple mistake. There's a lot of trees, as uh Jeff said.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

Yeah. And remember, we can just walk into the water if we need to.

SPEAKER_06 56:01

Yeah, and die the frostbite.

SPEAKER_02 56:03

I mean, it is frozen over where you're like, you know, so you guys ask which trees, where are they coming from, and then the trees begin to move, inching their way towards you on each side of the bank.

SPEAKER_06 56:27

Scary.

SPEAKER_02 56:30

And the one to the left, to the northwest gets to go first.

SPEAKER_06 56:36

Can you make his picture big?

SPEAKER_02 56:38

You guys want to see what they look like? Yes, please. This is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_06 56:41

This is one of my favorite parts. Ooh, creepy.

SPEAKER_03 56:49

He just picks up the shrine every time and like like lumps it forward, just lugs it around with it. Yeah, I'm coming for you. In slow motion.

SPEAKER_06 56:59

It does look like he's doing something very inappropriate. Yeah. Um, so we are looking at this tree-like creature. There's no leaves on it, a lot of like twiggy branches. He looks very angry, he's like hunched over this like mausoleum type shrine.

SPEAKER_02 57:17

And uh mangrove, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:20

All twisty and very groot-like as well.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

Yeah. And he pulls and slides his way forward. I like how that shrine has a face on it as well. If you guys look at it, I know the shrine does not look happy.

SPEAKER_06 57:34

Help me.

SPEAKER_01 57:38

I don't consent. I don't know. I don't consent. Get your roots out of my foyer.

SPEAKER_06 57:48

He does have his little tendril fingers in there.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

He moves forward and then comes to a standstill. I need Ari to give me a fortitude save.

SPEAKER_06 58:02

Uh-huh. I got a 23. Is this uh poison? No. No, okay.

SPEAKER_02 58:13

Yikes. You see there are roots wrapping around your ankles, and the moisture from your body begins to drain away.

SPEAKER_06 58:20

Um, guys.

SPEAKER_02 58:21

Oh no. Um, actually, I know I need a virtual dice roller.

SPEAKER_03 58:27

I know I'm not supposed to make any comments about your appearance anymore, but you are looking pretty gaunt, sister.

SPEAKER_06 58:34

I know, okay, this isn't helping.

SPEAKER_03 58:39

That can't be right.

SPEAKER_02 58:40

Is that right?

SPEAKER_03 58:42

Do they do like 75 d6 of damage or something?

SPEAKER_05 58:44

It's just 10 d6.

SPEAKER_06 58:46

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 58:47

You're gonna take 44 points avoid damage. Jesus.

SPEAKER_06 58:51

Yeah, that is literally half of my health.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

Wow. Well, good news that's two action. So he moved and then did leech moisture, so uh that one's done. And then you see from the far side another tree. This one looking kind of familiar. Uh-oh. Just begins sliding out onto the ice towards Anko. Run, Unko. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_04 59:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 59:19

This just looks to be like a tall uh what kind of tree is that? Does this look like the Sugi tree? No. Okay. It looks almost like Bartholomew, Beauregard the Unpruned. Mmm. Hey, we had a deal, you son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_06 59:36

He might be helping us.

SPEAKER_02 59:38

Does it look like it? No.

SPEAKER_01 59:42

I mean, he's not actively raping a temple, so. Whoa.

SPEAKER_06 59:46

He said the R word.

SPEAKER_02 59:48

You don't know if that temple consented or not.

SPEAKER_06 59:50

It doesn't look like it.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

It'd be life said, not consent. Pops.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

Okay. Uh Pops is worried for Unko, so he is going to.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:01

How about Ari?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

He said what he said.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

Ari's fine.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:05

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:06

Ari's gonna be fine. Uh so Pops is going to skirt out onto the ice. As soon as you hit the ice, it becomes difficult to rain.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:16

Okay. Oh man. Dang it. Seven foot tall Pops out there just slipping and sliding. Whoop, whoop, whoop, oh, oh, oh.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:24

You gotta spread your weight out.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:26

There we go. So uh at initiative, I put my eminence into uh thousand leagues, so I got fifty. So we'll say one twenty-five. Yeah. So we'll just say right from I'm basically standing on the edge of the ice just for well the whole thing is ice, right?

unknown 1:00:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

The lake is there's one. And then we're gonna run up, and that puts me right at Unko.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:55

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

Of course I come back for you, Unko.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:00

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:02

Is this big tree guy behind you friendly, or do we need to run?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:07

They don't let me out of my lake.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

Well, come with me now. And I reach out my hand to Unko.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:15

Get a room. Come sail away. It starts playing. Uh, okay. Anything else? Move twice.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:24

And pluck him out of the pluck him up.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:27

Just pick him up. Yep. Didn't he use the ride on your shoulder? That is how that's that is how Pops was introduced. Yeah, exactly. Ari.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:36

Okay. Ari is going to um she flicks up her hand with her glove on it, and the um eternal eruption uh just pops up in her hand and she flicks it at this guy, just going on the other side so it's not attacking everybody here. I'll need a reflex save, and I'm working on getting my numbers up.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:00

There's no way his reflex is good when he's engaged like that with that temple. She's like, she's like, let me go. 27.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:08

Uh, I think it's a 25. Do you see 25?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

No. Does the what does the fail do? Is it still just a little bit? It's a standard reflex.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:20

I get it now. Hopefully they're like week 50 to fire. Come on, big money. Big money.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:28

So 30 halved is 15. Fire damage.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:33

That's still a pretty good hit. 15?

SPEAKER_06 1:02:35

Mm-hmm. And then she will. That's two actions because the gloves is a free action to retrieve. She will cast rallying anthem. So it's 60 feet, so I believe Pops is in there as well. Um, I'll have to double check. Uh, but it's plus one to AC saves and resist two physical damage. She's like, hang in there, guys, and somebody cut me free.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:04

Uh it's not restraining you or anything like that.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:06

I still don't want it around my ankle.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:08

Fair enough. Yeah. Red.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:10

Okay. Nice, nice. Red is going to um save this fight. Save this fight. He's gonna step up between Ari and Gardas. Move it close enough to strike at our dear friend, the tree temple molester.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:27

Because Red brings reach.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:28

Red brings reach! And so I'm going to stab with my guy's arm. You know what else he brings? Not flanking. I was gonna ask you to jump over him.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

Yeah, but what good would that do when you're not close enough to flank him? Do you have to do that?

SPEAKER_06 1:03:43

Don't you have to be threatening? He's threatening. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:46

As long as he's shut up, Courtney. How dare you make an invalid point?

SPEAKER_06 1:03:55

You're upsetting me. Don't talk to Kyle that way.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:00

Natural three for a 20. That is a miss. Gard us, jump over this guy. Get on the back. We gotta get him off guard. And then I'm gonna command Violet to bite the shit out of him. So I get to play Violet now. Uh Baby Violet.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:18

It looked like you were like waiting for me to like roll and take its turn.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:22

And you may. Yeah, can I?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:23

I will allow it.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:24

Baby Violet's gonna run up and attempt to bite it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:26

Hey, look at that, Jeff. Flanking. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:28

Hey, I can flank with Baby Vi.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:30

Good job, Baby Vi.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

Uh 14 on the dice for a 28. Ooh. That is a hit. Nice. And so that's 17 points of damage. Ooh, big hit. Piercing? Um, piercing damage. Jaws. Chompy chompy jaws.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:52

Alright. Calculated.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:57

I just imagine that Vi like bites and then kicks with the back feet. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:03

The piercing probably doesn't do as much, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:06

As slashing with an axe might do. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:09

So I'm sorry, Red, what was your turn? You moved.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:12

I moved, attacked, commanded. Got it. And then move attack for Violet.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:16

And now we're with Gardas. So you gave Vox two actions. Okay. Um, I kind of looked down at Ari as she said somebody cut me out of this, and I'm like, and I just see it kind of wrapped around her foot. I'm just like, just move. And I run up behind it. Uh yeah, it's 20 feet. Including the difficult terrain? Because I definitely saw you go through this guy's square. Difficult terrain? You've got to jump. You definitely move through that guy's square. Well, I was going around, but I forgot that the ice was difficult terrain. Might as well jump.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:52

He's gonna grab you out of the air.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:54

Fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:55

Two actions either way.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:58

Or knock it into flanking. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:00

Or you could heal me or set me free. Set you free. You're already free. I'm restrained. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:08

I didn't want to use my jump like this because this is not very far, anyways.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:13

Just take a freaking Alexarin.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:14

It's not even a big jump. Oh my gosh. It's not a big jump. Alright, fine. I'm gonna click my heels and use one action. No, it's still two actions. Don't forget, it's loudly boasting.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:27

You could heal me.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:28

No, I'm just gonna run over there. Because the difficult terrain, if I go right here, the difficult terrain becomes one, two move, and then regardless of what I do, it's gonna be two actions, so I'm just gonna go over there.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:45

Regardless.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:46

Regardless. Um, as I get out onto the ice, I like take my time just very slowly stepping across, steadying myself. Okay, Gardis, easy does it.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:55

What's taking so long?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:58

I don't want to fall on my axe. It'll break. Yeah, right? I might drop it into the lake. Uh swing at him with my axe. Oh. Oh eight on the dice, plus, where's my plus? 17 for a 25 to hit. Does a 25 hit? Off guard. Off guard! Oh shit. You already forgot. It might be a pretty like the first half of my turn. All of your turn, pretty much. Thank god you have flanking. Hey, look at that. That's a hit. Nice. And you're using your axe? Uh-huh. That's probably bonus damage. Plus, I get the fro my axe is frosty now. So that's two d12 plus a d6. We need to get you a fire rune for that thing for trees. 25 plus 4 is 29 points of damage. Big hit. Hell yeah, that is. That wasn't even a crit. Not even a crit. 29. Plus whatever vulnerable they have to axes, because I know these are trees. You can't deny that.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:05

This one's actually not a tree. A massive hit. I was gonna say that too.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:12

It's actually the temple that we're fighting. This has a tree on it.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:17

The tree is the victim here. Choppy, chop, chop.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:20

I'm just gonna start hacking at him with my axe. Anything else, Gardas? Can I get more actions? Nope. Then we will go to the end of the first round. What about that last tree? Yeah, the end of the last round. And he's gonna move his 25 feet.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:40

It's coming for RM.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

Then the GM is gonna use his measuring tool. Put that away. That was pretty special. Gardas luckily is in range, so I need a fortitude save from Gardas. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:55

How do you like it?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:57

We'll s let me roll and we'll see. As these roots begin to leach your moisture. 29. That is a success. You will take half. 30 because of Ari's plus one.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:11

Oh yeah. Good job.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:13

Oh, that's pretty good, Daniel. I rolled much better. Uh half comes to 26 points of void damage.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:21

24.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:24

Wow, it's two? 24. Ah, it kind of stings, but I mean, I just kind of kick it off. I mean, it's it's not it's not doing anything.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:32

Yeah, it's because you were farther away, so it was weaker.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

I don't think so. And then we are at the beginning of round two. I think it's because you're not as fortitudinous as me. This Reaper is going to strike at Gardas with one of its roots. Oh shit. Dodge. Uncanny dodge. 36? God damn it. Retributive strike. It is a regular hit. Okay, you're gonna get some of this back. But it comes to 20 Jesus. Uh 19 points of bludgeoning damage.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:08

So nine points. Nine points of bludgeoning damage. Alright, and for the hit, does a 24 hit.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:17

That is a mess. Bummer. And then it can try to knock you down. This is an action, but it does not count towards or against its map. Multiple attack penalty. Is it do I roll or does he roll? I'm gonna roll. I'm just trying to see what it's against. I think it's your reflex DC. Bullshit. It is against your reflex DC. I don't believe that for a second. That's fine. You can look up trip. So the DC is 24. 25. Uh 31. So you are prone. Come on. Uh second last action. It's just gonna slap you with a branch. Branch slap. I walked out here so carefully. 33. Regular hit. Even with the penalty? Yeah. Man, that's pretty good. Here comes the crit damage. What? I'm sorry, I can't find it in my other D10, so I'll just roll this one twice. Uh that'll be 23 points of bludgeoning damage. Ooh, 23? These guys are cool. Jesus. I like these guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:43

That was a big hit. A little concerned.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:45

Yeah. Uh that's gonna be 21. Logic.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:51

Next. You said 2d10 and it has like plus 15 or something. Um don't answer that.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:03

Next, we go to this big tree out on the lake, and it slides forward another step, and it will attack pops.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:13

Bring it. Here comes the root strike with 32 hit. You will take uh 10 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay, and then it is going to try and trip you.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:30

Eight points.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:30

Thank you. What the fuck? Ten points of damage? He clearly hates you.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:38

Uh here's the athletics.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:40

He has a screen for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:42

Uh 21 uh against your reflex DC.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:47

Uh let's see here. Mine's uh 28.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:50

So it does not trip you. Second attack. Uh 17 to hit.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:59

That is a critical miss.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:01

Oh. He slips on the ice. Uh it is your turn, Pops.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:05

Okay. So Pops is gonna take Unko. And we're gonna sprint back to the group. So there's one move. And then two moves. And then we're gonna swing on the arboreal reaper.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:29

No, we're closer to this one. Trust me. I know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:36

These guys are way scarier than the other guy. That might be the best line of the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:44

Okay, here comes the swing. That is uh 15 on dice for a good uh yeah, 34.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:53

That's a hit.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:00

Yeah, how does your character work again? He doesn't know. Don't ask me.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:06

Okay. Uh 2d8. Nine plus four. Thirteen? Thirteen bonk.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:19

You realize that trying to trap down a tree with a club is not the most effective thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:23

What?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:25

Uh, but that is your turn. Yep. As you try to bruise this bark. Ari.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:32

Ari is going to reach out. She um she pats the drums a few times and then um reaches out and casts haste on Red. And she's like, come on, end this soon. And then she will continue with her rallying anthem. AC saves and two this is two physical damage.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:58

Alright. Red's gonna appreciate that, especially because he has to boss Vox around a little bit.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:05

Delegate. Don't waste this, okay?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:09

Okay. I'm on it. I'm doing it. Here we go. I feel tingly all over. Which one's haste?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:16

It's the one that makes you faster.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:18

No, I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:18

I'm trying to put the What symbol is it? Quickened. Okay. Thank you, Ari. You're welcome. It's also in alphabetical order. Yeah, I was looking for haste too and couldn't find it. Yeah. It's okay. We'll all get there. Oh, it's my turn now? Casting haste makes you quickened. Quickened, you gain one additional action at the start of your turn each round. Mini effects that make you quicken specify the types of additional actions you can use. Because quickened has its effect at the start of your turn. You don't gain actions immediately if you become quickened during your turn.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:51

Fancy. Alright.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:53

Yes, it is your turn.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:54

My turn. Um that means like you're wasting time.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:58

I'm I'm going.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:59

I'm going. I'm going. Now I just have so many options. I don't know what to do with myself.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:04

Decision paralysis. And now it's Fox's turn.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:07

No, I'm gonna uh lay on hands and hit Courtney with a little healing.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:11

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:11

It's like does she want to give it to Courtney or to Ari?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:15

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:15

I'm gonna heal Ari a little bit. And that was the end of the podcast.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:25

How much is that?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:27

18 heal uh plus two to AC for one round.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:30

Sweet.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:31

Okay. So I have to spend action to regrip my weapon because we're playing by the rules. So that's another action.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:36

You can use spells and not have to regroup. Regrip. Oh, I don't know if I can with lay on hands, though. Touch you, yeah. With touch spells you can.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:43

I just kick her. Rathouse. Rat house. Take two off of the damage. Okay, so uh lay on hands, uh command, baby, uh box, and I'm gonna stab. I'm gonna stab once. And you have flanking? Yes. Yep, I do for a 25.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:02

That's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:03

Nice. Probably just barely for 10 points of damage.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:06

Flashing damage? Yeah. Okay. Ten, you said?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:10

It's also holy. You're holy. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna slash again.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:16

Um two command swing.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:20

One action for lay on hands. Oh, okay. That's where I was lost at. Cool. Command, uh, swing.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:24

Wait, no, you lay on hands, command, and swing. That's the hasted.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:28

And he's hasted, so he gets four. So I can move or I can attack again. There you go. That's four. He got there. That would have been a great moment for video. Alright. Last attack. Oh, that's not gonna play. Um 19.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:46

Fail.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:47

Fail. Alright. Baby Violet then is gonna do her job of attacking twice. First bite, 19 on the dice.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:54

Don't forget, if you want to do the support benefit, it would be a time like this. Because I don't think I'm allowed to like move and stuff like that either. So um I know that that was something you were thinking about before. You sh can more than bite twice and do it next round. Just I know that you sometimes forget about that, and I wanted to throw that back out there. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. What did you roll though? Because you already rolled.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:14

34.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:15

Uh yeah, and that's uh that's a hit.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:18

Um 16 points of biting damage. Nice. Violet's really getting after the temple this time. Um and then last attack.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:31

He's having a hard time getting through the bark, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:33

Yeah, last attack is gonna be uh a bite also. Here we go. Oh, that's not gonna play. Um miss.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:44

Then we will go to prone Gardas.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:49

Why are you on the ground?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:50

Because this stupid tree put up a root that I couldn't see and it tripped me. Uh it does suck. You know what, Ari, I agree with you.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:59

I'm glad I didn't haste you. You just would have spent that time getting up.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:03

How about I spend that time touching myself, which is what I'm about to do.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:07

Grass.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:07

Uh-huh. It's not that gross. So Gardas is gonna touch himself.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:13

When I take a bunch of damage, I touch myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:16

Because I have vital beacon on myself.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:19

That's what you call it.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:22

So someone touches me to regain hit points. 40. The first one is 40-10 hit points. When did you cast this? Uh this morning. I've had it, I've had it written down since before this episode, by the way. Like, I've just been these are certain things that last all day that I just continue to do every single day. I wish you announced them before they're relevant. But it's fun this way. Uh 20 26 points of healing back. That is good. Nice. And the next one, the next person who touches Gardas gets 48 hit points of healing, by the way. The tree's gonna touch you. Oh man. Has to be willing touch, not bad touch. Yeah, you have to supplicate though in the description. Uh so then I'm gonna stand up and axe him. Uh, like this is this is kind of Gardas' thing. He keeps he always gets knocked down, right? And then so he like stands up with his axe in both hands, just white knuckle grip on it, just growling at the at the trees. Don't forget to change your conditions on boundary. I'm trying. Thank you. Pressing the button. You can always go to the upper right corner and uh right-click it. Okay. And the swing. That's this one. The D20. That might still hit. Because I have flanking uh five plus seventeen is only twenty two. Yeah, okay, so it's twenty-two, but we're flanking. So yeah, that twenty-five did just barely hit. Um I don't have a plus one from anything else, do I? No, I don't. So that's the end of my turn.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:08

Did you cast anything else on you at the beginning of the day that might help you right now?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:12

Uh water breathing. Yeah. No, I didn't. This last orbul reaper moves up and will strike at Ari.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:22

It's getting too close.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:24

Here comes the root. 36.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:29

That is a crit with my plus two.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:31

Retributive strike. 30 points of bludgeoning damage.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:36

Minus 20 points of bludgeoning damage.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:39

20 total. 20 total. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:42

And then the hit. Natural 19 for a 33.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:46

That is a hit.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:48

Amazing. Here we go. 11 points of slashing damage.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:53

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:54

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:57

And then it is going to trip Ari. This is against your reflex DC.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:04

Bring it on.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:05

35.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:07

Fail. What's your reflex DC? I'm just kidding. Holy crap. Whoa. It's not a critical success, is it? Uh 35? Yeah. Yeah. Uh her. No. Okay. Wait, no. 26 is her DC.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:24

Oh, so close. Here comes the branch strike. This is the one that does the real damage. You are prone, so uh you can give yourself that condition on foundry. I don't want to minus to your AC. Wait, did it not move over there? Was it already there? It did move.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:41

So he it was the trip part of the previous attack?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:45

It was its own action, but it doesn't actually count towards or against its multiple attack penalty. That's a standard rule for monsters. But so then didn't it move attack and trip? God damn it.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:57

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:58

But it doesn't count for the maps, Jeff. I don't think you understand. No one ever listened to me.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:05

Way to divert that.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:06

When Ari has quickened, I thought it was on this guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:11

His name's Red Too.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:13

We've all been there. His name's Crimson. It's red wood, alright? We shorten it to red. Beginning of round three. The one that you guys have been ganging up on is going to go. Yeah. Does this tree look scared? We all just surround it and just start hacking it apart. Conditions are starting to pile up. I don't know who. I like seeing all of your guys' mouses converge on his location to see his injured value. I don't know what I want to do here. It sees that Ari's down, so it's gonna uh no, because then you'd have cover against all going through all these people. So let's just deal with these threats right here. This attack is going to be on Gardas. Branch attack. Try it again. Oh, that's a terrible roll. 28? God damn it. Barely hits. That's all I need. Terrible roll, my ass. Uh 20 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:17

18.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:18

Okay. Uh root attack.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:22

You've been doing plus one to AC.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:24

Yeah.

unknown 1:24:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:26

Uh that'll be a 27 on the root attack. Is this tripping me? No, not yet. Um hit. Oh, minimum damage. 12 points of bludgeoning damage. And finally.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:39

10.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:40

And then here comes the trip. Oh, there we go. There we go. Uh 39. Crit. Uh what happens on a crit? Don't you take damage? No, I just fall prone.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:59

Regardless, it's just fall prone.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:01

Maybe you're double prone.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:03

Target falls, lands prone, and takes one d6 bludgeoning damage.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:06

He's so prone. He's standing up.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:08

Five points of bludgeoning damage.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:10

He's on his head.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:13

Uh that one has gone. And so now this uh tree, he needs to stand up and then make his slow ass way across the ice. Uh oh, look at that. He can get there. Oh, that is still two moves for this guy. Uh he will finish his movement down here and get flanking on Pops and Uncle.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:37

Oh no!

SPEAKER_02 1:25:38

Now we're between two of them. Hey, Uncle, are you gonna do anything to help?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:45

I forgot to get added to the initiative.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:49

Sounds like something. No, it isn't. He needs to go back to where there's more kappas because he's gonna die of dementia all by himself.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:57

He's been through a lot, okay?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:59

We know he has reach. I'm ready to rock now.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:03

I ain't scared.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:04

Pops. Alright. We're going to. I'm going to spark transcendence on my Thousand League sandals. So anybody. I think Ari might be outside my range. What is that? I think it's only like 15 feet.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:22

I want to get out of here. Can I move then?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:25

Yes. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:26

Are you moving? I'm staying outside.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:29

I'm going to stay where I'm at. Okay. I'm going to shift it over to the thing. I'm also. I'm prone. Can I stand up? No. I'm going to give the radiant to Ari. Uh for uh 16.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:40

Okay. I should be within 15 feet.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:43

Then can I use that movement to just crawl then? Can you crawl? Five feet? Still crawl. Five feet. Still prone. It's up to the ability. I don't know how it says. I think it's a reaction to move up to your speed.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:55

Uh one action stride. Any alley within ten feet can stride as a reaction. Yeah.

unknown 1:27:02

Cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:03

So no, because crawling is not striding. You poor dumb bastard.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:09

How much healing did I get?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:10

16.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:11

16, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:13

And uh I'm gonna shift my eminence over into Titanbreaker, and here comes the swing. I'm gonna swing on the one to the left who's uh badly injured. And that's uh 15 plus so that's a 34 to hit.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:30

That's a hit.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:34

It was almost a crit. It would have been if you were flanking. I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:40

Seven. Eleven damage. Did my best. Bonk. Eleven?

SPEAKER_06 1:27:47

That's it?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:48

Two d eight. What? Where's my just two d eight?

SPEAKER_02 1:27:51

Oh, plus twelve.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:55

You've never done eleven damage. He was just rolling the past. His passive damage on a hit is 12.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:02

I was gonna say, I'm pretty sure your minimum damage is higher than that. So 23. That sounds better. I think the striker sucks. We've been away from the table for so long.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:11

18 points of damage.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:12

Okay. And uh that uh I guess I've got one action left. Uh I'll swing again. Why not? 12 on dice for 31 minus 5 for a um 26.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:26

26 is a miss. Dang.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:28

Even while he's being flanked? He's not being flanked. You don't have flanking with him. Oh, because Gardas fell down.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:34

That's why I didn't actually put flat footed on him, is because flanking only applies right now to Gardas, Vox, and Red. Yeah. You're so you are not flanking with them. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To be flanking someone would have to be in one of these two squares. Flanking reads uh if you can draw a line through the creature from one person to the other, so you are not getting those flanking benefits. But it was not a bad turn.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:59

I say he's looking right at you.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:02

Ari.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:03

Alright, Ari's going to stand up. And she is going to do a third level soothe on herself. She's still hurting. And scared of this mean tree. Somebody do something about these trees.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:16

Just run away from it. Like Anko. I'm getting into flanking. Doesn't look like it from here.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:28

Got 28 back. And that's her turn.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:34

Then we will go to quickened red.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:39

Let's get this party started. I'm gonna do attack on the one who is not near death. The one to the other one.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:48

Oh, come on.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:50

Coming, don't worry.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:51

Um Okay. Whoa.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:54

Whoa.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:55

So's the tree.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:57

Almost on that temple.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:59

Uh 18 to hit that guy. 18 is a miss. It's brutal. Alright. I'm gonna swing at the other guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:05

They live their lives slower, so it takes a lot longer.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:08

25. Uh with flanking, that's a hit. I'm gonna stab, stab, stab Arooski for 11 points of damage, slashing damage on him.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:18

Alright, I'm going to command Violet. So that'll be action number three. And action number four. How are you doing on health now, Ari?

SPEAKER_06 1:30:27

I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:27

You're good. Is anybody hurt? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:30

Ask me after the trees go.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:31

I'm good. I am down 61 hit points. That's rough.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:36

We are really far away.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:38

I should do something to help with that. Oh man, I should redo this entire turn. Mulligan. Mulligan. Um, you know what? Uh, maps be damned. I'm taking a minus 10 for this. Yeah, go for it. Let's do it. Who are you attacking? Oh, the tree, the bit that I'm flanking with Gardas. 19 on the die, minus 10 is 9, plus 14 is 23. I guess apparently I needed a 20 for that. I didn't should have done my math before I rolled that, but whatever. Here we go. Does a 23 hit? Nope.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:10

Why do you only get plus? Did you say 14 to your attack?

SPEAKER_03 1:31:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:14

I have plus. Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:16

That's for I was on Violet's sheet. Oh my god. What's happening?

SPEAKER_06 1:31:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:20

1901. Do this again. Do this again. 19 to 17 is 36 minus 10 is 26 a hit. Oh my god. At a minus 10. Oh my god. Let's go. That's a hit. 14 points of slashing damage.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:32

Good catch, Jeff. How much?

SPEAKER_03 1:31:34

14. It's not hard to catch Kyle being an idiot.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:38

It's not. It's pretty easy. If he's breathing. Stop breathing. Stop breathing. Don't do that. You will. So it makes it funner. More fun? I don't know. It says the non-idiot.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:54

My son takes uh swimming classes and he's no longer allowed to hold his breath. Like they put a time load on him because he holds his breath for so long that the instructors get freaked out about it. And so he's like, they put him on a timer and they're like, when it gets to like two minutes, you have to come up. We don't care what you're doing. And I thought that was funny. That's funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:09

Fox.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:10

Oh, Vox is gonna bite twice. Okay. Not doing the support benefit. No, support benefit. Let's do it. Oh my god. You took all of your actions, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:32:18

You took four actions. He did. Okay. Just making sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:22

There was so much happening. We need to bring someone else around just to play his animal companions.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:30

Well now I gotta find out what my support benefit was. I wrote it well, did I write now? I remember we were having a conversation about it.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:38

Yep. Crocodile.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:40

Your animal companion supports you, you gain the benefits listed in the companion support benefit entry. If the animal uses support action, the only other action it can use on this turn are basic move actions to get in position and take advantage of the support benefits.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:53

Your crocodile clamps its jaws on the foe, refusing to let go. Until the start of your next turn, if your strike damages the creature in your crocodile's reach, your crocodile can latch onto the creature while thus attached. The crocodile can move along with the target wherever the target moves until the end of your next turn. Your crocodile can latch onto only one creature in this way and must release the creature to make a draw strike or jaw strike. If the target is smaller than the crocodile, it takes a minus 10 foot speed, um, you know, etc. etc.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:22

It might be better to just Yeah, just attack twice because it sounds like it you need to do that first before you attack, right? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:30

Yeah, that would just be my my thing that I get to do. Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:33

You'll have to plan it next time. Plan it.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:36

Next time we have a beetle that tries to cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're asking a lot. I'm trying to be more present, and it's hard.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:44

It is hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:45

Alright, here we go. Bite.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:47

You have your right modifier?

SPEAKER_03 1:33:48

Come on. It's 14. I do have the right modifier. Come on, big money. Big money, no whammies. I don't believe in you. I guess we can want to kill someone with this tree. It was 21. Alright. That's a miss. Second bite. True. She's fine now. Yeah. 18. Miss. Two misses. Poor Vox.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:09

Pardus. Okay. Stop knocking me down. I'm gonna stand up and growl, ah, and this time, instead of touching myself, I'm gonna use my uh headband and cast level six heroism on myself for one action. So this attack roll now has a plus two. Ooh. But just a plus two, you don't get any other bonuses. I get several other bonuses that I'm not gonna tell you about. Yeah, that sounds right. Ooh! You guys make them up as you go. 15. 15 on the dice. Yeah. Plus 19 is a 34 flanking. Okay. 15 plus 19. Yeah, that's 34. 34 flanking. That's a hit. Oh. That is.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:57

You know that's not a crit.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:58

It is very close, though, and I wanted to be hopeful. It's so extremely close. Maybe something else happened. Did he lose one armor? Oh, yeah. From like a biting vox.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:08

There's a bald spot. The bark is gone.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:11

He's about to lose his life. Whatever. Fine. A hit, I guess. That's just okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:16

Just to end this and be happy about it. A pretty good dice roll. 17.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:22

19. 23 points of damage. Nice. Slashing damage with an axe against this tree. Yes. Yes. You see a blood stained. Chop down this ax, this tree.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:36

It's a sap.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:38

Crumbling the temple all around it. Branches falling from the sky.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:46

Where did these temples come from, anyway?

SPEAKER_02 1:35:48

Think twice about knocking me over again. Is that your turn? Oh, yes. That is all of my actions. And as we go to this last Arboreal Reaper, we fade the black.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:50

The good news is Matsuki's drunk now, so if he messes it up, you only have to worry about it.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:01

Why is there an H in my name?

SPEAKER_03 1:37:06

That's how you spell it.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:13

It's A H R I.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:15

Oh, on my screen it's just A R I. Yeah, mine is A R I. That's weird. That's so weird.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:25

Which one's the real R