OddBox Podcast

Spontaneous Miscalculated Combustion-Ep 104

OddBox Entertainment Season 3 Episode 47

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0:00 | 1:14:15

The party tries to probe around the fortress of Karahai but without a solid plan everything they try seems to get foiled. Things get incredibly dangerous when spontaneity gets the better of their judgement. 

Pathfinder Second Edition Remastered and the Season of Ghosts Adventure Path by Paizo Inc. Used under Paizo’s Community Use Policy. https://paizo.com/

Music and sound design by ⁠Monument Studios⁠, creators of premium TTRPG audio assets. 

Music in part by @MichaelGhelfiStudios (https://michaelghelfistudios.com)

SPEAKER_04

A life fulfilled. Not at the weddings, no, not at the funerals, not the victories, not the disasters. While you are waiting for the microwave at a red light, standing in a grocery store line, watching the ceiling, just praying for sleep, looking at passing scenery at a drive you won't remember once you arrive. Those tiny moments, those invisible moments. Moments to be ignored, now made unforgettable. The impossible does not announce itself before it shows its conglomerate head. Luckily for you, we do. Welcome to the odd box. Who here at the table has the singular best character quality?

SPEAKER_06

Scratches beard.

SPEAKER_03

It's it all builds to something. He's an incredible power to get things organized and driven that other people might think is a mental illness. It can be both.

SPEAKER_01

It's four steps forward, one step back, but everybody's still moving forward, so we're not going to complain that hard about it, I guess. Uh thank you. I'll take it. That's it. I'm the winner. No other answers necessary. Yeah. As the most competitive person to ever live, I will I like winning.

SPEAKER_02

So that's a positive character trait?

SPEAKER_01

No, the other one that life said was the positive character. Oh.

SPEAKER_02

And so you were just okay with it.

SPEAKER_01

This one has just lost me a lot of friends and you know, invitations and stuff.

SPEAKER_06

They weren't real friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. They don't want to lose. They shouldn't invite me to places. So they stopped. Or they should just get good enough to beat you. Yeah, yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_04

Why don't your kids play tetherball with you anymore?

SPEAKER_03

Mostly head injuries. Inquiries, investigations.

SPEAKER_01

They actually, we never, we never got I never got in trouble with playing tetherball with the kids.

SPEAKER_05

But um playing tetherball with the kids.

SPEAKER_01

But we've stopped playing tetherball because the kids figured out how to turn the tetherball into a trebuchet. Nice. And so now there's no rope. No, not. I mean, you should one man's X access.

SPEAKER_03

You're coming over in a couple weeks. I'll have them show you.

SPEAKER_01

We'll get you down there. They'll they'll be like, hey, stand in the field over there. You'll be like, right where? Right here? And they'll be like, yeah, just over a little bit. Here comes the flaming tetherball. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Trabouche.

SPEAKER_01

So there's no tether ball down there anymore, I don't think. Actually, I think it's on the other side of the river. The neighbors have a tether ball with a rope, but no tetherball pole or anything.

SPEAKER_06

It's a start.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. It's a start. That's right. You can just put it on a tree. You know, I mean, tetherball, bam.

SPEAKER_06

Um, I'll also go with Kyle because he never says anything bad about anyone.

SPEAKER_04

And uh right now. I feel like I've heard him. I have definitely heard him.

SPEAKER_06

And he also doesn't typically take things personally.

SPEAKER_04

So yeah, but that's more of an IQ thing, not a you can see.

SPEAKER_01

It's like it's like insulting a cat. I don't know. You know what I mean? Especially if you're smiling.

SPEAKER_04

It's Kippley. I'm gonna go with Jeff.

SPEAKER_02

Huh? Why?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I always remind that. My mom was like, hey, don't uh worry about what other people think of you. And I don't think Jeff has ever thought once about what other people think of. I don't think he's capable of it. He's shoved that so far down. And I was like, man, I don't know if it's confidence or comfortability or whatever, but man, I could use a taste of it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. He does seem pretty self-possessed, which I really appreciate as a person who uh I mean that as a compliment, not as an insult. Uh like I don't like uh like social chameleons or people who will like be a different person in a different light because then I don't know how to deal with them. So like a lot of my very good friends going back in life have been frequently like the biggest assholes in the room. And it's like it's like I'm like, well, I like it. It's uh he's always like that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, there's very there's something very refreshing about somebody who will just call out the elephant in the room every time. Yeah, you know, it can be a little jarring at first, but then you come to find out that those people are just like doing everybody a huge favor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Well, thanks. I don't have anything good to say about you people. I wouldn't want you to lie now. Don't start now.

SPEAKER_01

It's the other side of that self-possessed coin. Uh-huh. Yeah. Part of it, real good. The other part, also good. Everything about it. Everything. No downsides. Kyle? Uh oh, it's my turn to nominate somebody. No, you can say yourself.

SPEAKER_04

I have the singular best quality because of what's your single best quality, Kyle. Everyone, I mean, you're winning this.

SPEAKER_03

He already did declare himself the winner. I did already declare myself the winner. Exactly. Bring it home.

SPEAKER_01

Does it have to be like a character quality? A character quality, like of the type of person they are. That's what that is.

SPEAKER_06

It is an IQ thing.

SPEAKER_01

We use character in a lot of different contexts, you know what I mean? I don't want to hear about Violet, not as class. Jokes on you, same person. Same person. Inseparable. I was gonna say who here's the best at pretending to be somebody they're not, and then I was gonna nominate that person, but it's probably me.

SPEAKER_03

I'm the I'm the most decorated thespian. Emphasis on decorated.

SPEAKER_01

See, decorated, another word we use a lot different ways. Um I'm gonna go with Courtney. Just because I'm gonna keep my reasons to myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

She has it, but you have to guess on what that quality is. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So every time you do something for now. I wasn't gonna say it out loud.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, that is something a lot of people don't possess.

SPEAKER_04

You're telling me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I really appreciate that Courtney kind of like she likes she takes care of people, but not in like a doormat kind of way. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04

I have seen that a lot.

SPEAKER_02

Like like she's a nurse or something.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you know, okay. That kind of vibe. Yeah. But not in a doormat kind of way. Some people will like uh give the shirt off their back when it's a really bad idea for them. Yeah. Martyrs. Martyrs.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Chronic people pleasers. Yeah. I'm a recovering chronic people pleaser.

SPEAKER_04

Courtney is not a people pleaser. She'll take care of you, but she will not make you happy about it. But you'll be fine. But you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_03

That's the difference between niceness and kindness. Yes. You know, you can be nice and be a shithead. But you can't be uh kind without helping somebody.

SPEAKER_04

Interventions aren't comfortable for everyone.

SPEAKER_03

You still have them every now and then. Yeah. Oh shit. Is that what this is? For two years, this has been an intervention for you, life.

SPEAKER_02

This is like hey, let him finish making that break before himself.

SPEAKER_01

It's finally happening.

SPEAKER_03

Like a Mexican standoff of intervention. Listen, I can stop T RPGs whenever I want.

SPEAKER_02

No, please don't. All of you are enablers. No, you're you're forget that's not what this one is about. It's about something else. We don't want you to stop. Yeah, that's the part that we need to continue on.

SPEAKER_01

We're all desperately hanging on to each other and trying to make sure this is. Oh shut up.

SPEAKER_04

I can't stop.

SPEAKER_03

Won't stop. Won't stop. Never gonna stop. Never stop, never stopping.

SPEAKER_02

See, if I quit, then that would mean that would make you a quitter. Yeah. That's why it took me so long to stop quitting to drink. Or however you say it.

SPEAKER_06

Didn't want to be a quitter. I'm not a quitter.

SPEAKER_04

Gonna beat this alcoholism by doubling down.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. With both hands.

SPEAKER_04

You guys are kind of in the shit now.

SPEAKER_03

Mistakes were made.

SPEAKER_04

The relationships here at the table, some have strengthened from this conversation. Some have gotten worse. Just like your relationship with Raisho. As uh you guys realize he values his privacy and still hasn't entirely convinced himself to trust Haunties. Deciding you guys are drastically low on bone resources. You decide to mass desecrate a graveyard. And I mean you guys really pull your powers together here. Uh there's a pun in there with pooling your powers. And undead demanding to be restored back to life, you realize Pharasma is appalled that you would use her holy ground for your own ends. And because of your curse, you become paralyzed with what to do next. Deciding that you have to do something to return to the graveyard, only to find people already there working on restoring it. Bringing the question, would the world really be better off if he were to be restored? Maybe it is time, the Willowshore just fades away. The world's moved on. It's been 115 years. Fuck that. You leave a string of Juanas from the graveyard to Karahai.

SPEAKER_06

They'll put him back.

SPEAKER_04

Before making your way to the Fortress Pauper where you hope to sneak in. What is the hero point situation?

SPEAKER_01

Zero Zero Three. You know, do better, guys. This is one of the few times where I feel like three of us deserve zero hero points.

SPEAKER_00

Stop it, Kyle.

SPEAKER_04

You guys were uh sneaking in uh you wanted to go through the uh north gate.

SPEAKER_02

Right. North again.

SPEAKER_04

This gate is painted black. It's decorated with a painting of a jumping carp. A tiny clay statue of Abadar sits on the ground by one of the hinges. And the gate is closed.

SPEAKER_02

It's closed.

SPEAKER_04

Uh you guys have only seen this northern gate close.

SPEAKER_06

You said that there was um a patrol coming by, right?

SPEAKER_01

In the upper ring, upper rings.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so the on the second floor on this outer wall of Karahai, uh as far as you guys know, it goes the entire circumference of the fort and uh through these small slits and uh very tiny windows that again only probably RE could fit through. Uh you do see people walking past this north side, right where you guys are at. Uh no rules necessary at this point, but if you were to make a move either closer or even further away, there is a chance that you were seen. So you guys kinda like freeze up right now.

SPEAKER_02

How close are we to the gate at this point? 30 feet.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. I am going to go try to try the gate. Let's just open it. Yeah, Pops is gonna try the old idiot test.

SPEAKER_06

I should wait for them to pass by though.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, sure. Well, I'm you know, I was just gonna call it a sneak roll. Uh but yeah, he's watching, looking for an opening.

SPEAKER_04

Pause, pause, pause, and then yeah, go ahead. You don't see anyone.

SPEAKER_03

Stealth roll, that's 16 on dice plus stealth 19 for a 35 plus 136. You uh don't no one no alarms go off. You're inside one of the guards.

SPEAKER_00

I do have to get out of there.

SPEAKER_03

And uh is it I I walk up to the gate and do I see any sort of locking mechanism of any kind? Is it like bars that drop down? Is it like a door that swings open? Anything you can do from the outside to open it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Uh you see just like uh basic handles on the front, uh horizontal handles made of iron. Uh you don't see any standard locking mechanism. You pull on it and it is locked.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe barricaded. Perhaps. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Well, son of a bitch. I thought we could just walk in.

SPEAKER_03

I'll uh I'll sneak back to the party.

SPEAKER_04

And we'll roll that check over. Roll for it? No, we'll roll the check over. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um I got confused. You said roll. Yeah. Well, I could throw a cart through it, but that's definitely gonna kill the element of surprise.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe we should try the gate on the east.

SPEAKER_01

What about can you guys use magic for illusion? To open the gate? No, make play to scare everybody.

SPEAKER_06

We could do that, but then what? It only takes a few seconds and then it would cause chaos and it would probably everyone would be on alert.

SPEAKER_02

Right. And then we run away. Well, I I thought we were going in. Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. We are trying to scout out inside the fort now. We haven't been the fort now.

SPEAKER_01

I forgot we were scouting.

SPEAKER_06

Are you feeling okay?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I'm a little nervous about what happened to my nose that you made me that fell off earlier.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Violet bonded with it. The fake nose. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And the fake mustache. I don't know why you put the mustache. The mustache tickled.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't like the mustache. Every time I breathe in and get in my nostrils.

SPEAKER_06

You insisted I put it on.

SPEAKER_01

I thought it would be cool. It was pretty cool. Sankers got mustache. He looks very handsome.

SPEAKER_06

So why don't we continue around the wall and we'll try to find a way in. Even if it's through the western gate, maybe we can go invisible, sneak in or something.

SPEAKER_02

Let's go east first. Okay. Okay. So because that one is the western is definitely going to be the most patrolled, I think. So maybe just kind of wake make our way around. I guess this is kind of where we burnt the east wall, is kind of where we burnt down the lumber storage. It was sort of in this direction. Southeastern. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I guess we'll We're gonna make our way around the fort looking for an open gate. To the east gate. East and then south, then west. Trying to keep a respectable space.

SPEAKER_04

You guys move to the east. Give me stealth check.

SPEAKER_03

Follow the leader. How much do I get again? Was it 13? That's a natural two on dice plus stealth 19 for a 21.

SPEAKER_06

I think it's 12.

SPEAKER_03

I got 22 then.

SPEAKER_02

27?

SPEAKER_06

Got a natural one.

SPEAKER_02

Oh nice.

SPEAKER_06

Uh that's gonna be 15. She starts crying again. Then she trips.

SPEAKER_01

She trips on the corner like a brace that's supporting a pallet that's propping up a bunch of clay jars.

SPEAKER_03

Stop crying, you're going to make me cry. Foo, love it.

SPEAKER_01

Throw herself down the water.

SPEAKER_04

From your stupidity. You hear footsteps coming from the upper ring as people are like rushing over. I think I heard something. Should we raise the alarm? No, send out a patrol. And the eastern gate opens up and people begin like banning out.

unknown

Fireball.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I have an idea. I have an idea. And uh pops pops uh triggers passion. He moves he moves a little bit away away from the group, but then he uh he triggers passion in front of the guards coming out of the gate and uh and he he says to the the crowd Gugopti will curse you and then he flies away.

SPEAKER_06

So passion is when you turn on fire.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, can you paint a picture for everyone uh like so I can like close my eyes and see what's going on?

SPEAKER_06

You don't want to picture passion.

SPEAKER_03

Pops Pops runs over in front of the the guards and and he lights up blue propane flames and uh great glowing eyes and and uh a curse is upon you all in his best scary voice that he can do. And then uh and then he lifts up off the ground, he triggers the flying and he lifts up off the ground and then he uh the the the idea is to try and lead everybody away.

SPEAKER_04

Give me an intimidation check.

SPEAKER_03

Okay sixteen on dice plus intimidation zero for sixteen. Plus one plus one, seventeen.

SPEAKER_04

They just begin launching arrows at you as you're flying away. Okay and uh the rest of you that are still around can hear them. I knew there were spirits around. Where did they come from? I don't know. But we must begin the exorcism. We must banish these spirits. Yes. By tomorrow morning we will be ready. Make sure all the shrine maidens are aware. Make sure the enforcers tighten up their patrols that we won't let them get away with this.

SPEAKER_06

How many are there?

SPEAKER_04

Six fireball.

SPEAKER_01

Before you fireball, can I run out real quick?

SPEAKER_06

Ari's going to start like going into her pocket to get the fireball. And she just flings that at him. Reflexes.

SPEAKER_04

Everyone roll initiative.

SPEAKER_01

That's not bad.

SPEAKER_06

Do uh minus two to life and me.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Spirits didn't like them talking about banishing him.

SPEAKER_04

Violet.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Uh sorry. Uh 23. 19.

SPEAKER_04

Ari.

SPEAKER_06

25.

SPEAKER_03

Pops. 31 minus 2 for 29.

SPEAKER_02

Gardas wasn't ready for any of this. He's just like, where the hell is Pops going? Looking up in the sky as Ari flicks the pearl into the group of people.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, the shrine maidens are so fast.

SPEAKER_04

Ari, you get the surprise round as uh they're all kind of like trying to chase Pops away. Uh so Pops, you are like a f full turn, 150 feet away, sort of thing. Okay. And uh I have to roll reflex saves.

SPEAKER_05

Yep.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, for the two in front. 34?

SPEAKER_06

Pass.

SPEAKER_04

Uh 28.

SPEAKER_06

Pass.

SPEAKER_04

Crimson guy in the middle. Uh 22.

SPEAKER_06

Fail.

SPEAKER_04

The three Shy mains left or right. 20.

SPEAKER_06

Fail.

SPEAKER_04

30.

SPEAKER_06

Pass.

SPEAKER_04

32.

SPEAKER_06

Pass. Um, so the ones that passed take nine, and the ones that failed take 19. And then I rolled three hours for my cooldown. Reload. Cooldown.

SPEAKER_02

Was that how many d6s? Was that like middle of the road?

SPEAKER_06

Seven.

SPEAKER_01

So average damage on seven d6 would be like a little under twenty. No, it'd be twenty one plus three and a half. So twenty-four and a half. So it's a low. Mm-hmm. A little low.

SPEAKER_02

I think at this point we're kind of we're kind of stuck at just attacking the east gate where we're at right now. Like we might as well just finish these guys off and just continue pushing on into the gate. Like, I don't see anything wrong with that. Or I don't really see any more options. Unless we want to just keep circling around the fort for another twenty days.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, I just worry about them calling for backup.

SPEAKER_03

I do too. Of course. We should probably try and fight it for as long as we can. Yeah. Yeah. But everybody's able to fly away.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we can all we all have flies, so we can all just cast fly and leave.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I don't.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you do. What did you prepare?

SPEAKER_01

The regular things. Passion. Chilling touch.

SPEAKER_02

I feel like we talked about this and said I can make her fly. To fla get fly.

SPEAKER_01

Everybody says what they want to do. Violet wants to do what Violet wants to do.

SPEAKER_06

Well, then, um Everybody casts fly and like leaves, and then Violet's still on the ground fighting it out.

SPEAKER_04

They're here. The spirits are attacking. And I need all three of you to give me fortitude saves as she runs forward and casts a spell.

SPEAKER_02

30? Do we have to be all clumped up like this?

SPEAKER_04

You guys can move yourselves where you want. I think we would be clumped up.

SPEAKER_02

At least I don't feel like we were out in the open. Like in the middle of the road.

SPEAKER_06

It's just a map, just like I don't care.

SPEAKER_02

We were hiding behind the fountain.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh you said what saves? 42. God damn it.

SPEAKER_04

Ari.

SPEAKER_06

31.

SPEAKER_04

Uh pass the ticap.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna use one of these.

SPEAKER_06

Hero point, what'd you roll?

SPEAKER_01

Natural two. I also was actually a 31 if I wanted plus one. Better.

SPEAKER_02

2030. Net dirty 30.

SPEAKER_06

2030.

SPEAKER_04

Uh everyone will take half damage.

SPEAKER_02

Violet's token is still just a dinosaur. Yeah, I need to bring in art.

SPEAKER_04

Uh it's 39 damage, wickets half to uh 18.

SPEAKER_00

Woof.

SPEAKER_04

What kind of damage? 18 points of spirit damage as she casts divine wrath.

SPEAKER_02

That sounds like it should heal us.

SPEAKER_06

So we are we have temporary hit points.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, 18 temporary hit points. That's what I wrote down.

SPEAKER_04

This next shrine main steps forward. We won't let them escape. And what's this? That sounds ominous. And she will whisper a chant into her bow as she strings an arrow, knocks an arrow, whispers to it, it begins to glow with this golden light, and as she unleashes it, you just see the arrow begin to multiply in the air. I need Violet and Ari to give me reflex saves.

SPEAKER_01

Um it was a slow roll, too.

SPEAKER_06

It rolled on to a 14 and then just like slowly bounced back.

SPEAKER_04

So Ari is unaffected as she hides behind Violet.

SPEAKER_06

This goes over my head. Yeah. Gotta shoot down here.

SPEAKER_04

Who will take 31 points of force damage on your fail.

SPEAKER_03

These guys hit pretty hard.

SPEAKER_01

Oh guys, I don't think we can stay here.

SPEAKER_04

The next shrine main steps up. Don't worry, sisters, they won't get away. All three of you, I need fortitude saves. As she casts divine wrath as well. Gardus.

SPEAKER_02

37.

SPEAKER_04

Standard pass?

SPEAKER_02

32?

SPEAKER_04

Standard pass.

SPEAKER_06

25.

SPEAKER_04

Standard pass.

SPEAKER_06

Really?

SPEAKER_02

Wait, then how is mine a standard pass?

SPEAKER_04

Critical success. DC 25. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, okay. I'm confused.

SPEAKER_04

Uh comes to 28 points of spirit damage, half to 14. Pops, it's your turn. You're not even on the map because I think your movement speed is like 300 or something.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I'll uh I will spend the turn flying back to my my comrades. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

What is your movement speed?

SPEAKER_03

It is uh 50 when my uh shoes are on. So much. When I've got my spark and thousand league sandals.

SPEAKER_02

So like you fly off thinking to yourself that you're some grand distraction, and then all of a sudden you hear the guards shouting about it and firing off arrows, and you turn and look around, and all of us are just standing out in the open.

SPEAKER_03

I was just trying to draw them off for a round. Right. Yeah, that looks like that looks great.

SPEAKER_04

And then you guys have fought these guys before. He will charge forward two-hand his sword and swing once on Ari. Ooh, and that is not a good roll. 24.

SPEAKER_06

That's a hit.

SPEAKER_01

Intercept attack.

SPEAKER_06

What?

SPEAKER_01

So what is this? Uh an ally within 10 feet takes physical damage. You fling yourself into the way of the oncoming harm to protect the ally. You can step, but you must end your movement adjacent to the triggering ally. You take the damage instead of the triggering ally, applying your own immunities, weaknesses, and resistances to the damage, not the allies.

SPEAKER_04

Is this a reaction?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You haven't had a turn yet.

SPEAKER_01

I don't care because command uh guardians get the reactions and initiative.

SPEAKER_06

He got you! I don't care.

SPEAKER_04

I don't care.

SPEAKER_06

I don't care.

SPEAKER_04

Always ready to go. Do you take your step?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I'm already adjacent, so I mean if you want me to story. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04

Just step up so that you at least no. I was just asking if you wanted to take your own. I am actually gonna take it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I am. Now that I'm looking at the map and playing like somebody who sees a map. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and take my step. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Ridiculous. Do I have to? No. No, you don't. Just wanted to make sure we did this in order. Uh so you so I roll damage and all that other stuff normally, and you are gonna take it. Uh-huh. Do you have resistances?

SPEAKER_01

Maybe.

SPEAKER_04

Is that how we're playing it?

SPEAKER_01

Uh you you gain resistance to physical damage equal to one plus half your level.

SPEAKER_04

Damn.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

We got a real tank.

SPEAKER_01

That's nice.

SPEAKER_04

Uh it's 22 points of slashing damage.

SPEAKER_01

So minus five is 17. Hmm.

SPEAKER_04

Ari.

unknown

Ari.

SPEAKER_06

Ready to go. Yeah, Ari's going to cast fly on Violet Wagon and then run around the corner. Uh so, well, she can't quite get there. So run back. She wants to take cover, but she can't. She's not fast enough.

SPEAKER_01

Violet. Um, if I've got the ability to fly now, I'm gonna bite this guy once. Because no, I'm gonna shove him. That's what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_05

There you go.

SPEAKER_01

Here we go. Into the fountain. Natural 20. Yes. For a 38 total.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. He's afraid of water. 38 against my forward? Yeah, that's a critical second.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so he shoves however far he goes, and then I guess we double the damage. Would we double the damage?

SPEAKER_02

I don't see why you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_04

I don't I don't know what you're doing. Yes, because shove doesn't actually deal damage. Mine does. Just again. I don't I don't what's it called?

SPEAKER_01

Um, it's called punishing shove, I think. Um his pants here. I'm just reading the one. Critical success. You push the target up to 10 feet away from you. You can stride after it, but you must move the same direction. I don't really want to do that.

SPEAKER_04

Uh and then to tell you what the thing is called Takes amount of bludgeoning damage equal to your strength modifier or double that amount on a critical success. Hey, look. Reading the ability explains the ability. This damage increases by two when you become an expert in athletics, six when you become a master, and twelve when you become legendary.

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah. So yeah, so it says you double it on a crit, so yeah, twenty points of damage he takes.

SPEAKER_04

Um what's your rank in uh athletics?

SPEAKER_01

Master.

SPEAKER_04

So you added your six?

SPEAKER_01

Yep. And doubled it. Uh so critical. Ten feet away. Yep.

SPEAKER_04

5'10. And how much damage you say?

SPEAKER_01

Um 20. Damn. What a shove. What a shove. What a shove.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

That is, I feel like, what it would be like to get shoved by a seven-foot-tall lizard person. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like that should be the minimum. Not your crit. That should be the minimum.

SPEAKER_04

Just bounces off this fountain.

SPEAKER_01

So that's one action. Um for my uh other two actions, I'm going to just fly away, I guess. Uh is we're at Eastgate. So we came in from the north, so I'm gonna fly towards Pops at whatever my speed is. 50 feet of fly away. Fly. My turn. Your turn.

SPEAKER_05

I'm worried, guys. I'm worried.

SPEAKER_01

I probably shouldn't have left Ari there. My shove is one point better than my to hit.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, these guys are tough. He's only injured because he's near death now.

SPEAKER_06

There's only 20 points of damage.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it wasn't much.

SPEAKER_06

Which was a lot for a shove, but in the grand scheme of things.

SPEAKER_02

There's just too many of them. Do you have the ghost power list thing? How many actions does it take to cast fly for our ghost powers? Fly is two actions, I want to say. I mean, I know it normally is, but I'm just wondering if it is on this thing. Yeah, on the magical power. Yeah. Two actions once per day. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

This guy in the crimson robe steps forward, makes eye contact with Gardas, and says, I command you to stay.

SPEAKER_02

Give me a will save. I am going to. Uh-oh. Is this our is this our old spell friend? Command? Use my reaction when I attempt a will save to give myself away.

SPEAKER_04

You haven't had a turn that you don't have reactions.

SPEAKER_02

I don't care because that's just not how I want to play. Are you a guardian? We have a guardian in the party, so it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, in the party, so everyone gets the reactions.

SPEAKER_02

We needed a commander. Ooh, that's good. What save was it? Will. 35. Ooh, that's pretty good.

SPEAKER_04

That is a standard success. Because it's DC26.

SPEAKER_06

Did you add your plus one?

SPEAKER_02

I did. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Unaffected.

SPEAKER_02

Hooray.

SPEAKER_06

Did you also mark off your ability?

SPEAKER_02

I'm not marking it off because I apparently can't use it yet.

SPEAKER_06

Gardas.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I guess we're just getting the fuck out of here and leaving Ari.

SPEAKER_06

Yep. She had to spend her turn giving a party member flight because they failed to prepare it, which was the plan. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And then that party member just ditched you out.

SPEAKER_06

He did take a hit for me. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but now you're gonna have to take a only personal turn.

SPEAKER_06

You are fucked.

SPEAKER_02

Uh I guess I will cast fly on myself. And as my reaction, I'm going to use Zealous Strike, because whenever I cast. Oh wait. I wonder if this would work on it. Um well. So could I use Zealous Strike on this? Because it's normally like whenever I use one of my holy spells.

SPEAKER_04

Zealous Strike or Zealous Rush?

SPEAKER_02

Zealous Rush. Sorry, not Zealous Strike. Yeah. Zealous Rush.

SPEAKER_04

Are you casting a spell? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

It's the power. It's not the sp it's not so then.

SPEAKER_04

So no.

SPEAKER_06

It's the spirit power. It's not a spell. It's not this isn't a spell.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, then I can't use that. Okay. Then I will just use my uh normal action, my last action to fly, sort of starting to get up and away. I'm not as fast as everybody else. So I'm gonna try and put some cover behind myself, like going sort of angled this way towards these roofs, because I want to get to the other side of these roofs.

SPEAKER_04

If you guys right click on your tokens in the upper left corner, you will be able to add altitude to yourselves. Oh. Anything else, Gardas?

SPEAKER_06

Um So you can fly equal to your speed or 30 feet.

SPEAKER_02

30 feet, so I get 30 feet now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and going up is like difficult terrain, right? So every five, it's like doubles double distances for going up.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So if you want to go up 10 feet, you gotta burn 20.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so I'm somewhere around there then, is my guess. So yeah, definitely within like volley range. But I mean, really, everybody is.

SPEAKER_01

We're all spread out, that's good for a party. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

I'm fucked.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, go over.

SPEAKER_04

He moves forward, his bow drawn.

SPEAKER_02

Remember, guys, we have our reactions now.

SPEAKER_04

The shot will be on Gardas with the longbow natural 20. Oh my god, miss.

SPEAKER_02

Miss.

SPEAKER_06

You have your reaction.

SPEAKER_02

Dodge. I use my reaction to dodge that shot so it misses.

SPEAKER_04

Well, hold on. They have their warden's protection. So that'll be 2d8.

SPEAKER_02

You didn't announce beforehand that you were using that power. I don't have to. It seems like something you would.

SPEAKER_04

So it's just a box I have to check. Uh 34 points of piercing damage.

SPEAKER_02

I check the box where I only take 32 points of piercing damage.

SPEAKER_04

Second attack.

SPEAKER_02

Is this still on guardus?

SPEAKER_04

On guardus. 28?

SPEAKER_02

Hmm. Barely hits.

SPEAKER_04

Oh man, minimum damage. Hooray. Uh 11 points of piercing damage?

SPEAKER_02

One point of piercing damage.

SPEAKER_04

And then we'll go to the beginning of round two. I feel like you guys made a mistake here. Uh I don't understand why we did the the fireball in a group of uh six combatants.

SPEAKER_01

Because it was funny. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

See how funny this is now, I guess. Uh first shrine maiden. She will step forward to get close to Ari. And then shoot a violet. Ari needs to give me a will save. She begins casting a spell.

SPEAKER_06

32?

SPEAKER_04

Standard pass.

SPEAKER_03

So far so good. Mm-hmm. Unaffected.

SPEAKER_06

It's just gonna be half damage, so it's just gonna be like 15.

SPEAKER_04

Planer tether.

SPEAKER_06

Oh.

SPEAKER_04

You can't move from the current plane while you are affected by planar tell tether. It tries to counteract any teleportation effect that would move the target or any effect that would transport it to a different plane.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we don't have that anyway.

SPEAKER_04

But she sees that you are ghostly and doesn't want you to get away. Yeah. So she moved and casts a spell. Number two will go.

SPEAKER_03

Isn't that one of the ghost abilities is to be able to phase through stuff?

SPEAKER_02

I don't remember. I remember phasing through stuff, but I don't know if we are leaving the plane. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

You can become incorporeal, I believe.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe we should do that and to sneak through the wall. You only do it once a day for up to five rounds.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So, I mean, we could do it, especially if we We could get in. Yeah, especially if we mashed it with some invisibility.

SPEAKER_02

Especially if we all prepared the thing like we were talking about.

SPEAKER_01

I do what I do.

SPEAKER_02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04

Two arrows fly at Ari. Here's the first one. Ooh, terrible roll. 23.

SPEAKER_06

Miss.

SPEAKER_04

Second attack. Barely. It happened, you guys. You heard it. 104, 103 episodes.

SPEAKER_05

104 episodes.

SPEAKER_04

Natural one.

SPEAKER_05

Sucker.

SPEAKER_01

Her bow breaks.

SPEAKER_04

This is not how I thought this was gonna go. She bants fall down.

SPEAKER_01

She's gonna mask off the Oni mask.

SPEAKER_04

Now the third Shrine Maiden fountain. We'll move forward and whispers to her knocked arrow. Ari, give me a reflex save.

SPEAKER_06

Oh 26.

SPEAKER_04

Fail. Don't die. You take 44 points of force damage. As these arrows just begin to multiply as it flies through the air.

SPEAKER_06

Cool.

SPEAKER_04

Are you up?

SPEAKER_06

Yep. Perfectly fine. Don't worry, guys. I can take them all by myself.

SPEAKER_03

Pops.

SPEAKER_02

Go get her.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's not what we're doing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, let's see how far away she is. Where's the measuring tool? Same place it's always been. I've never used it before, so. I use my dick. Yeah, stop putting that up on the screen.

SPEAKER_06

Please stop.

SPEAKER_03

I need to measure things. Control click? That doesn't work.

SPEAKER_01

No matter how much I zoom, it's still hard to see.

SPEAKER_03

There we go. Thank you very much. 85 feet. So that is enough for me to fly, f fly.

SPEAKER_04

Is this doing the diagonals correctly, though?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Why wouldn't it? That's only four diagonals, right? Yeah, so I think uh that's Pops' plan is going to uh fly, fly, and then essentially just body block for Ari. Oh, you know, I can shift uh my eminence from one thing to another. Yeah, I'll shift my eminence from Thousand League Sandals to uh Titan Breaker, and then I'll give her the Radiant 16 health points. Sweet. And I'll stand.

SPEAKER_02

Does that make it so we can spend our reactions to move?

SPEAKER_04

No.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. No. Which one does? One of them does. Well, you have to be in range. You have to be So yeah, you're doing it over here close to us, though, right?

SPEAKER_03

No, I'm all the way. The only person who did it over there. Okay. That would conceivably get it would be violet.

SPEAKER_04

So hold on. Because I want to make sure we do this right. You sparked your sandals from where you were.

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04

So when you do that is when you give the radiant. Doesn't that person have to be within like 15 or 20 feet?

SPEAKER_03

Let's find out.

SPEAKER_04

So I think the only person to get to the top of the top. Oh, yeah, I think you're right. The only person you could give it to would be Violet.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I think you're right.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I'll take it. I'm down a lot. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

You guys are like, let's be careful. We don't want to fight anyone. Oh, a superior force. Let's go.

SPEAKER_03

An ally within 30 feet.

SPEAKER_04

So do you give it to Violet?

SPEAKER_03

I give it to Violet.

SPEAKER_04

Sick. And then is that two or three actions? You sparked on your sandals, which includes the move.

SPEAKER_03

Which includes the move. And then uh between that move, which would be 50, and then after I spark it, I'd still have 40 feet of movement, so that gets me to 90. That was only 85. So one action left? Uh spark transcendence. Move. And then one action left. I what's the best thing I can do here?

SPEAKER_04

Put your hands up and surrender?

SPEAKER_03

No. I mean.

SPEAKER_02

That's not exactly a bad call. They're just gonna try to exercise us. They don't know that they can just slit our throats.

SPEAKER_06

They have that um the like essence, what's it called? Yeah. Incense that they've been burning that's been fucking us up. Yeah. Who knows what else they have up their sleeve?

SPEAKER_04

They got big sleeves.

SPEAKER_06

They could probably just send us back to Willowshore and then we'd have to do the ritual all over again. There's no way that we're getting natural twenties again.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Um. I guess I'll just try to. Is there any way I can defend somebody?

SPEAKER_01

Is there any way I can ready an action if you have two actions, but be cover?

SPEAKER_03

No, I'm just gonna be cover. I'm gonna preach at him. Preach at him? At them. You are all working for Kugopti. You must change your evil ways. Religion. Uh eighteen on religion. Plus uh 14 for a uh a 32?

SPEAKER_06

That's fine.

SPEAKER_03

33? I deliver a sermon. It's bracing. Yeah, it's actually really good.

SPEAKER_04

I'm very deliberately not interacting with the roles I don't call for. That's fine. I don't know, like I don't know how to. I was like, maybe you're trying to demoralize them.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know what else to do. Yeah. There's a tear in the corner of Gardas' eye. I I just throwing up a prayer. That was beautiful.

SPEAKER_04

I know Ferrasman doesn't like me very much right now, but so you guys are both near the ground then.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Two action run up. Uh I guess uh Yeah, he'll just get there. And swing on pops. Bring it. Bastard Sword. Twenty-nine. Low, low damage on this one. 13 points of slashing damage. Ari.

SPEAKER_06

It's my turn. Ari will cast fly on herself and she will uh take off in the direction of Violet. Or is that is that which way do we want to go?

SPEAKER_01

I mean you can just go that's the way we came in. Yeah. But you could get up on top of a building or I think we all know where we're escaping to.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So you can just go away.

SPEAKER_03

I think just out of danger would be the best. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Okay. I think uh she would probably naturally go down the um road that she's on, so just like to the left, but that's where the map ends. So she would fly um is it 25 or 30? I think it's 30.

SPEAKER_04

But you're also going up, right?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, she'll go diagonally up.

SPEAKER_04

So only like 15 feet away?

SPEAKER_06

Sure. That's my turn.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If we can get onto the other side of the buildings, then we can like book it in one direction and then start flying away.

SPEAKER_04

Violet. Brave, brave, violet.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Left too early. Um, I'm gonna just follow Ari, I guess. I'm gonna go kind of up over the building.

SPEAKER_04

So yeah, and I encourage you guys to track your altitude uh right-clicking on your tokens and then the upper left corner. So you're spinning all three actions to move? Yep. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

How tall are these houses? Oh. You know what else I forgot? When that guy attacked me, I have got the passion going.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, your passion? Yeah, and you've been doing that wrong. You've just been like doing damage right off the bat, but doesn't it call for like a reflex save or something?

SPEAKER_03

No, reactive scrooch uh reaction trigger. A creature strikes you.

SPEAKER_04

Keep going.

SPEAKER_03

Uh effect. The creature takes 2d6 fire damage, basic reflex save. There it is.

SPEAKER_06

He said no. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Check the box where he doesn't get that.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_04

Uh okay. We'll we'll recon two, three turns.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you. I appreciate that. Well, it could happen.

SPEAKER_06

It's only round two. It's tampen.

SPEAKER_04

Uh turns, not rounds. Okay. Uh 31.

SPEAKER_03

Is that against my class DC?

SPEAKER_04

I think we decided ghost powers or class DC or spell DC, whichever is higher. Oh, it does specify.

SPEAKER_03

Uh spell DC? I don't know if I have a spell DC. You probably don't. Oh no, I do have a let's see here. 12. Uh 22 plus 10. So 33? 32.

SPEAKER_06

It is uh class DC or spell DC.

SPEAKER_04

You don't add 10 to your spell DC. The spell DC already has 10 added to it.

SPEAKER_03

Got it, gotta. So it's uh it's uh 23.

SPEAKER_04

What'd I say? 32? Yeah 31? 31.

SPEAKER_03

So nothing. Or half damage. Half damage. Hey, that's five. Or I'm sorry, ten. Two fives. I can do math.

SPEAKER_04

Five damage?

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04

Um okay. This guy steps up, levels his torch at Gardas, and rolls this attack. 25.

SPEAKER_02

It's just an attack? Yep. Spell attack. AC. Miss.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

This burst of bright golden light just goes past your head. Oh shit. And it is your turn, Gardas.

SPEAKER_02

Kind of duck out of the way. Um, I'm going to start touching myself.

SPEAKER_04

Because you don't want anybody else.

SPEAKER_02

To heal uh 4010 for my beacon.

SPEAKER_03

I like to imagine that Gardas bicycles his feet as he flies.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, those are pretty good rolls. Just little tiny baby steps. Nine, nine, and five plus four is nine, so 27 hit points back. And then I'm gonna use my other two actions to like get over the back side of the building. Over to the back side of the building so that I have like complete cover concealment from them. I don't know how tall these buildings are, but with two movements of 30, I figure I can at least get to the back side of that.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Oh, I didn't move my guy far enough.

SPEAKER_02

So right here, maybe at 20 feet is my guess.

SPEAKER_04

The last guy in this round, this mercenary, will fire his bow at Pops. Okay. Uh 32.

SPEAKER_03

Hit, no crit.

SPEAKER_04

Uh 20 points of piercing damage. Okay. Second. 28.

SPEAKER_03

That is a hit.

SPEAKER_04

19 points of piercing.

SPEAKER_03

Oof. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Last arrow.

SPEAKER_06

It's better than 44. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's probably not gonna work. Uh 19.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, 19 damage.

SPEAKER_04

19 to hit.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no. Uh critical miss. No, I'm sorry, regular miss.

SPEAKER_06

I was like, these numbers aren't adding up either. Critical miss.

SPEAKER_04

We're also bad at math, except for Kyle. Who's bad at the adding and subtracting kind. Yeah, yeah. I'm good at the other kind. Uh so he fires three arrows, and then we are going to go to the beginning of round three. This lady steps forward. Ari, are you within 30 feet?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, she's five feet to the west.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but you're 15 feet in the air.

SPEAKER_02

It's still probably within five or thirty feet.

SPEAKER_04

So I need twenty.

SPEAKER_01

Twenty-five, and then fifty. She'd be out of thirty feet. If she's 15 feet up and 25 feet away, she'd be out of 30 feet.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, she's not 25 feet away.

SPEAKER_06

I'm five feet over. That's just the end of the five. That's the end of the map.

SPEAKER_01

She's another five feet from the way. How about now? Ooh. Hang on.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, I'm I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01

1520 and 15. I'm gonna tell you. Let's get this Pythagorean theorem calculator out here. I thought you could do it.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_06

With a calculator.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe like slowly. This is still pretty slow with the calculator. Only because you're distracting him, Jeff. Stop talking. Oh yeah, now she's 25 feet away.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Uh she lets out a three-action heal for 20 points.

SPEAKER_06

Sweet.

SPEAKER_04

What? It's not working? Thank you. How is that not working? Aren't they undead spirits?

SPEAKER_02

Not exactly undead. I mean, there's kind of a qualifier in that that makes it so that we still get healed.

SPEAKER_04

Uh just misunderstood. Know your secret. Uh, but you do notice that uh, of course, like any other three-action heal uh pops that affects you too. I don't know if you calculated it or not. Oh, I'm sorry, what was it?

SPEAKER_03

Um I got lost in my own hands.

SPEAKER_04

They start their own wounds begin to heal as well for 20 points of damage.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that undoes my shove.

SPEAKER_05

Damn.

SPEAKER_03

This pride's still gonna be hurt.

SPEAKER_04

She will step up. The second shrine maiden. Give me a reflex A. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Just get losy something.

SPEAKER_03

That's very intense. Ten on dice. Reflex 18 for uh 28.

SPEAKER_04

Uh basic pass. You will take uh seven points of bludgeoning damage as she throws this holy water at you. Okay. Nothing! Nothing's working as it should!

SPEAKER_03

I think you've got glass in my eye.

SPEAKER_04

Uh so the last one will step up and fire at Pops. Uh 27 to hit.

SPEAKER_03

Die.

SPEAKER_04

13 points of piercing damage. Okay. Second strike. Oh fuck. Uh 20 to hit.

SPEAKER_03

Miss.

SPEAKER_04

And then it is Pops' turn.

SPEAKER_03

Pops is going to reserve until after the mercenary enforcer.

SPEAKER_06

Hold.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Same difference.

SPEAKER_06

I like that plan. I was hoping you'd do that.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Uh, two handed strike on Pops.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Probably till aft after Ari's turn, actually.

SPEAKER_04

25 to hit.

SPEAKER_03

25 is a miss.

SPEAKER_04

Damn. Second. Uh well, 22.

SPEAKER_03

It's also a miss.

SPEAKER_01

Pops is like parrying his sword away as he's surveying the battlefield, but just like nonchalantly. Still giving his sermon. We will go to Ari's German.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, Ari is just gonna book it. Um she will go uh up and over the buildings. She's trying to get out of there.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Pops, you can reinsert at any time, and then we will go to Violet.

SPEAKER_03

I'm oh um, I don't know. Do you think you need any help getting away, Kyle? No, I'm gonna be fine. Yeah, I'll reinsert and then I'll max move speed away.

SPEAKER_04

Uh he's gonna take an AOO on you.

SPEAKER_03

Sure.

SPEAKER_04

War uh not warding strike, warden's protection. They don't have basic AOs. That's me. Um, okay. Pops' turn. He books it out of there. Oh, does she have anything? Can she do AOs? No, they're pro no lightning touch. Uh, and you like you're gone-gone. Yeah super fast.

SPEAKER_06

Again.

unknown

Phew.

SPEAKER_03

Off like a shot. Oh, and I turn off my passion.

SPEAKER_06

Just a beacon in the sky.

SPEAKER_03

I put it away.

SPEAKER_06

Put your passion away.

SPEAKER_04

Why is uh player character Kyle or player targeting bombs? Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

That's probably me. Which button do I have on the wrong button?

SPEAKER_04

Uh, it is your turn.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so I'll just I'm hoping I'm up high enough to be over the buildings. Oh my gosh. I don't know how to use this. Uh whatever. I'm uh just head off the same direction that they're going for my full 75. How far away are you, Gardis?

SPEAKER_02

I it's what I re said when I was doing it, I was trying to get like sort of up and over on the other side of the roof so that nobody could to break line of sight and then start flying off like through the street in a different direction.

SPEAKER_04

I just wasn't sure if this is really where you were at or if you were farther off the map than this.

SPEAKER_02

No, I'm farther off the map than this. He's already to the other side of the building. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You guys kind of just scatter in the wake of this fireball. All the while, blasts of light and arrows zipping past your head, and you guys converge on the grassy knoll to the west of town. Injured, bloody, out of breath. You see, there's a lot of commotion down there. People are like fanning out. You see more of these exorcists, or you can't really see anything from where you're at. It's dark at despite your uh night vision. You kind of just see the torches fanning out throughout Karahai. They're sweeping the town looking for you.

SPEAKER_01

Idiots. They think we're still in town. Sorry, I left too early, Ari. I thought you could run, and then you got pinned down by arrows, and I know that.

SPEAKER_06

Well, yeah, I spent all my time trying to make you fly, and then you just left me there in the open. I mean, I'll do better. I mean, it takes time for the magic to actually happen, and then all the while they're rushing at us and shooting at us. Like I almost died.

SPEAKER_01

It's a good thing Pops came back. Thank you, Pops.

SPEAKER_03

It is okay. Maybe we should have better plans.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know what came over me. I just fell on my face and they were there, and I was like, what do I do when I do? Obviously, fireball was the answer.

SPEAKER_02

I feel like that wasn't the plan to begin with, though.

SPEAKER_06

But well, like Pops just took off, and then it was crazy. I saw Violet start getting her frills out, and I was like, oh no.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I didn't understand much of that. That completely wasn't at all like we had talked about. I thought maybe I could draw them away.

SPEAKER_06

We were just gonna go around, and then that didn't even work.

SPEAKER_03

So I thought I could draw them away and maybe give you easy access.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that didn't work, obviously. Next time we make we make plan for invisible and sneak through walls and and all the stuff, and we go do hard investigation.

SPEAKER_06

And you can fly.

SPEAKER_01

And I can fly. Being ghosts is hard work.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Never had this much trouble in the mindscape. I mean I die.

SPEAKER_01

I die in mindscape.

SPEAKER_06

Maybe next time we can um well there I only have three invisibilities. I was thinking we could fly in invisible and then find a place to hunker down and we can just stay there. No.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. We might if if you guys can sneak in, then maybe I can sneak by without invisibility.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe we are focusing too much on like not being seen and trying to be covert. You guys have been seen multiple times at this point. Like, you know, like again, you can keep trying to to go about it this way. I'm not saying don't do that, but uh I I feel like you guys are attempting this you guys are talking about the same plan now, like for the fourth or fifth time. Yeah. Um, and if you want to keep doing it, that's great. I'm ready for it, but um, I guess I'm trying to advocate for our listeners, they're probably ready to listen to something else.

SPEAKER_02

I I was gonna say, like, I agree that we've been seen at this point. There's no reason for us to really be that sneaky, but so I don't know, we either just walk, I don't know what to do because with that information, like if we just walk up to one of the gates and be like, you know.

SPEAKER_06

Because we can't get very far because they're so powerful.

SPEAKER_04

Like we You also don't have to take them on six at a time, you know.

SPEAKER_06

I understand that you keep bringing that up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but I don't what I don't know what the option is. The other option is where do we get four of them? Or two, yeah, maybe one.

SPEAKER_01

Just one. Uh we should try to make friends with Rysho. I bet Rysho can help.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think so. Not at this point.

SPEAKER_01

Why don't you make him a cake?

SPEAKER_02

He doesn't like cake. Birdseed. Worm cake. Worm birdseed cake. I would need an oven, and apparently I'm not allowed to light any fires. Hmm.

SPEAKER_03

We can light a fire, just not at our place of ref are you talking about burning down the town?

SPEAKER_02

Because Violet can't stop talking about that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's burn down town. Burn it down. Whole thing. Tails wagon.

SPEAKER_02

Which is really dangerous. And noisy. Or I don't really have.

SPEAKER_04

See, you can still sneak in. I'm not saying you can't do that. I'm just saying that, like, I'm just saying that they have seen you now. Uh, you left survivors, so they're reporting back, sort of thing. Um, you know, you know they're sharing information just like you guys are now. Um, you know that they are fanning out looking for you guys through the village. You know that they're likely not going to find anything. Again, I'm I'm I'm sorry if I completely stomped it down. You guys can absolutely keep trying to be stealthy, and you should. You should try to be stealthy so that you don't bring the entire fortress down on you at once. Uh, but uh, you know, maybe not uh you know, maybe not just for reconnaissance because that's what that was, and you engage them. So we were looking for the execution was a little wasn't there.

SPEAKER_03

We were looking for a way in.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, natural one's a natural one.

SPEAKER_04

The natural one's a natural one, that's also true.

SPEAKER_06

But yeah, we have to play in.

SPEAKER_04

No one really yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

We are we're looking for a way in. Uh what about okay. My thought is the place that we burned the other time, maybe it burned a hole in the wall. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06

That's I doubt it.

SPEAKER_02

To what end? Oh, oh, I think. To get inside to get inside the fortress.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but they wouldn't know about it too. Um just assuming all the gates are closed?

SPEAKER_03

No, we know that the west gate is open. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Again, that's why we were and we looked at the east.

SPEAKER_03

Right, we were trying to go to the gate and see what the never got that far. But they came out as a natural one. They came out, I thought I could lead them away.

SPEAKER_04

After that counter, you guys lose a terror point. No. But as the night progresses, they report back about their sh awful, terrible walk back from the graveyard, and you guys gain a terror point. Breaking even. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_06

And then for Osma lifts are cursed because they put the bones back for us.

SPEAKER_00

That's exactly how that works.

SPEAKER_04

Streets is our curse, everyone gains a doomed condition.

SPEAKER_06

If you have the penalties, guys, I'm just not going out anymore. Like I said before, it's worse now.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, just let Willow Shore go. Pops is not allowed to make decisions for the group anymore.

SPEAKER_06

I'll stay here with Raisho forever.

SPEAKER_04

At least a month, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06

Shit.

SPEAKER_03

Raisho moves out.

SPEAKER_02

So this is I'm just trying to think of ways to even sneak in. And again, all I can think of is just going through kind of where we burned out. That was still towards the east gate.

SPEAKER_06

We could try to lure people out and try to pick them off as they come out.

SPEAKER_02

That's kind of what sort of happened. No, and they came out in groups of six.

SPEAKER_01

We should have done the fight at the graveyard. There's only three of them.

SPEAKER_03

Well, there was other civilians. Those are civilians, though. They would have just run off.

SPEAKER_06

And they have that the incense really is worrisome to me. Yeah. If we can't even be close to it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Um, I guess it is it just sickens us, but that we know of so far. Um, but I don't know if we could do something like illusions or whatnot um to scare them or try to to lure some away from a gate for us to get through. Yeah, I'm just worried that um with the western gate, it's also often civilians, right, coming in and out.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, at nighttime there's almost no one coming in and out.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, what about this? We start forest fire, and then if a couple come out, we fight those two.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's actually let's burn down Raisho's house.

SPEAKER_06

Do you remember the trees that the tree that talked to us at the Kappa village? Yes. He's upset that we were taking more than we needed. I don't think he'd be happy if he learned that we're just burning down trees.

SPEAKER_02

You can't be cursed by the trees, dude.

SPEAKER_06

For no reason.

SPEAKER_02

That was in the mindscape. It's not real.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

There always be tar on your hands.

SPEAKER_06

I'm tarred and I'm doomed.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

So yeah, I guess I don't know what to do. We could go back home though. We can go back to Willishore. Yes, right. We failed, guys. Go back to Ray Shows. Just go to the boneyard.

SPEAKER_02

Go back to Ray Show's house. Uh they're they're gonna have even more protections in the morning, though. Um right now they're out looking for us. We don't have any flight. There's gonna be even more protections in the morning. So if we wait another day, we could like there's a possibility of us healing up now and trying to get in, but that's a big question mark, too, because we'd have to be fighting through patrols. We're also giving up our best escape plan, which is flight.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Well, and then we've already stirred up the Hornets' nest. So if anyone was asleep, now everybody's awake.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. They're gonna be awake for days now, though. What they know we're attacking every night. Yeah, we've not been attacking every night. Yeah. I don't know. And where are we, day five? Something around there. I was trying to keep track of it, but I then I lost track. I don't know. We're on like day four or five, something like that. I think we should I think we should retreat. Okay. So back to Haunt Reshow.

SPEAKER_06

Well, he might have some information too, because he's been sneaking around inside of the walls.

SPEAKER_03

Just maybe try not to piss him off this time, Garden.

SPEAKER_02

I don't even want to understand what I did.

SPEAKER_03

That's usually how it goes. What are you looking at, guys? Looking at my screen with under my eyes.

SPEAKER_04

Time goes by. Everyone can give me a will favor.

SPEAKER_01

Thirty-two.

SPEAKER_03

Twenty-two.

SPEAKER_02

Do I have my reaction? I'm sorry. Twenty-one twenty-three.

SPEAKER_06

Twenty-seven.

SPEAKER_02

Thirty-seven.

SPEAKER_04

Only one person has which was an artist. Uh you can reduce your doomed value with a long rest of you. Who wants to give me a pretty hard flat check?

SPEAKER_01

Seventeen.

SPEAKER_03

That's a pretty good flat check.

SPEAKER_02

You also might want to take your mouth closer to your microphone. Seventeen?

SPEAKER_04

Pass. But that's not what you wanted for this one. Oh no. Because Will sure faces unexpected trouble. You guys lose four hope points. Oh yeah, that hurts.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

We have like a hundred of them, right?

SPEAKER_02

To begin with. We're down to three now.

SPEAKER_01

That's what I got to.

SPEAKER_04

You guys lose three food points.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no. And you guys lose one security. Do we feel this like rippling in the forest? Are we having a bad kenobi right now? Um any of those at zero yet?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_06

No, not quite.

SPEAKER_02

Hope is close.

SPEAKER_06

Everything's not.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, they're all close, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

The amount of preparation points you have at the end of the adventure determines your success for this adventure. At least for this book. You guys have spent roughly a week in the real world trying to find your flame for the Eternal Lantern. Trying to breach the Karahai Fortress by only investigating the outside of it. You guys know that it is time to go. It is time to figure this out. Maybe Rysho does have the answers. Maybe it is taking on six of these guys at once. Maybe it is sneaking through, being undetected, and going room to room to find this warding bell that you've been looking for. You're not sure what the answers are, but you know it is time to do something with Fate to Black. Time to fate the black.

SPEAKER_02

Every time I put my hand up and like do anything like this, I'm definitely getting lots of chlorine.

SPEAKER_03

Hopefully because of an involvement with a pool.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we went swimming. That's why we couldn't start today until later. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Is chlorine. I don't take showers. I just use all your clothes. Yeah, I just douse myself in chlorine.

SPEAKER_04

Setup it looks like, and we're going.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. It's alright. We are going. Six minutes.

SPEAKER_04

I'm watching the two for you. We're in it together.

SPEAKER_01

We're in it together.

SPEAKER_04

Are we good for that weekend though?

SPEAKER_01

You were worried about having a competition or something?

SPEAKER_02

Uh yeah, they just don't have one in July at the end of July. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I am sorry about your buzz route charges that you're gonna receive for this last month because we went over by like an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_01

Uh oh. How much do I get charged every time it goes over?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know. It's a whole new plan, it's a whole different system.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. Cool.

SPEAKER_04

Um mine was like 20 extra dollars the last time we went over.

SPEAKER_03

That's not terrible. No.

SPEAKER_06

It's a month though, that's annoying. Right? What? Is it per month?

SPEAKER_04

No, it's just like it was 20 extra dollars on top of the monthly charge.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. So it's like you can get yeah, anyways.

SPEAKER_04

Um, but like the reason why we went over is because Bud Sprout was like three episodes behind. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

That's bullshit.

SPEAKER_04

Well, and I the the reason why we were behind was because it's a Bud Sprout issue.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

That's why I said it's bullshit. It's their fault.

SPEAKER_01

All right. Um Jeff, can you hit me with the sound check? Uh huh. Life?

SPEAKER_03

Peanut pecan pie.

SPEAKER_01

That worked. Yeah, who knew? Who would have thought?

SPEAKER_00

Who would have thought?

SPEAKER_01

Who would have thought? I don't think I'd want a peanut pecan pie. Don't knock until you try it. I feel like you could do it. What would be wrong with like peanut butter or pecan pie? Yeah. Peanut butter crust. You can make it cream. Peanut butter crust? Yeah. With chocolate. Sure.

SPEAKER_06

You know what's really good? Pumpkin cheesecake.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. Friendship.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And the pumpkin cheesecake is better. Life gets it.

SPEAKER_02

Chocolate pecan pie is also good. Pecan is my favorite type of pie.

SPEAKER_06

Chocolate. Is it peanut pecan?

SPEAKER_01

Sure. Reese's. What's my favorite kind of pie? My uh youngest, he eats, or not my youngest, my oldest is allergic to apples, and now he tolerates it better as he's getting older. But when he was younger, if you gave him an apple, he'd be pooping for like a day.

SPEAKER_04

When he hears about this, he's gonna be so mad at you. No, he's not.

SPEAKER_01

He's gonna think it's hilarious. Um so we he couldn't eat apple pie, which is my thing my favorite pie, even though it's super basic, I still love it. And so we started making uh pear raspberry pie, and it's pretty much the shit.

SPEAKER_04

Um I really like chocolate pie, just like chocolate pudding and chocolate pie sort of thing. Um, and one year, um I think my mom made it, maybe my grandma, I don't remember. Um, not that anyone makes it really more special than the other, right? Like it's super, super basic. And uh my brother and I essentially just split it over the course of like going back for like seconds and stuff like that. And my little brother didn't get any and ended up crying. And ever since then, the family always has two. Yep, and now we always have two at Thanksgiving. That was the year that Orn and I ruined Thanksgiving. Sorry, Tyler.

SPEAKER_03

I like a lemon meringue myself.

SPEAKER_06

He's never gotten over it.

SPEAKER_03

He hates me. He still cries at the sight of chocolate pie.

SPEAKER_01

Just the sign of it.

SPEAKER_06

I think pecan pie is probably my favorite. If it's done right, my mom makes a really good pecan pie. I do not like pecan pies. I'm not a huge pie person, though. I'd rather have like regular cake or like a cheesecake or something like that.

SPEAKER_02

I I agree. I I like pies better than cakes.

SPEAKER_06

Never been a pie person. Yeah, either I'd rather have a cobbler.

SPEAKER_02

Cheesecake is my favorite cherry, like the traditionals like cherry pie, apple pie, peach pie. I'm not a huge fan of either.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I actually, now that we're branching out a little bit, blackberry crisp is my favorite dessert. Yeah, crisps and cobblers. Oh man, like strawberry rhubarb.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. Do you remember that chocolate swirl cheesecake I made?

SPEAKER_06

Yes. It was really good. So good. It was so good. Those are good. It was ugly though. It was delicious. Fucked it up. He was so upset because it cracked, and like he's just like, oh, it's ruined, and I like ate pretty much the whole thing.

SPEAKER_03

I took quite a bit. I just couldn't. This is terrible. I'll take care of this. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_06

Let me help you.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just gonna take this to my room.

SPEAKER_06

It was so good. Thank you. Yeah, you can do that again anytime.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, I'll make a cheesecake this week. Cool. For dinner.

SPEAKER_03

Save some for savory cheesecake. Just put an egg on top. Like put an egg on top, everybody'll think it's a little bit more.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I think we're talking about a quiche now, but that's fine. Quiche is good. My new favorite kind of pie, quiche.

SPEAKER_01

Quiche pie. I mean, you wouldn't you it is. You know. You could make the argument. I think if you put enough salt in it, I would like that. Quiches never taste like anything.

SPEAKER_06

You are making it wrong.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they're always every quiche I've ever had, super bland.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, we'll have to make a really good quiche sometime.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, someone's been fucking up your quiches.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It's true. I hated quiche for many years, and I think it's probably because we had the same experience. Because we grew up together, and every quiche we had as a child was gross.

SPEAKER_06

You can put seasonings in it. White boy cooking.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, you're not wrong. Then I lived with a guy who actually could bake and he made quiche, and it was sick. So good.

SPEAKER_04

I was gonna do the intro banter, but we're like 90 seconds out.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. If that. Should I start the timer?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, let's don't start the time. Yeah, let's just pause. Let's just pause. That was our outro banter.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Unpaused.

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