3 Calming Micro Actions

Feeling like you're carrying invisible bricks all day long? When your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, even the most well-intentioned self-care practices can feel like unwelcome demands rather than relief. "You want me to do a full morning routine with juicing, exercising, and journaling? I'm still trying to survive that last group text!"

This episode cuts through the noise of overwhelming wellness advice to offer three nervous system-based micro-actions that actually work with your biology, not against it. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Understanding Self-Care Overwhelm
• 1:40 Breathe Like You Mean It
• 3:58 Create Your Calm Corner
• 5:48 Humming: Your Nervous System Ninja Move
• 6:43 Less, But Better: Episode Closing

Transcript

Emily Feist: 0:00

I get it. You want to take better care of yourself, but everything feels heavy, like you're carrying around invisible bricks all day long and adding one more good habit to your day feels impossible. Today, I'm going to give you not a list of 97 self-care ideas. I'm going to give you three nervous system-based micro actions that work with your nervous system, not against it.

Emily Feist: 0:28

Hello, hello, welcome back to it Starts at Vagus the podcast where we stop chasing calm and start creating it, one small shift at a time.

Emily Feist: 0:38

I'm Emily and I'm your guide to rewiring stress, restoring calm and reclaiming your nervous system one small shift at a time.

Emily Feist: 0:47

So if your to-do list has a to-do list, if self-care feels like just another chore and the last time you rested you were still clenching your jaw in your sleep you're in the right place

Emily Feist: 1:00

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Emily Feist: 1:01

Today, we will be talking about why self-care feels so overwhelming. You know, a couple of weeks ago, in an episode called Rediscovering Yourself Simple Creative Practices for Busy Women, we explored how tiny creative sparks can help you feel more like you again. Today, we are going even deeper, but more in a body-based way. That last episode was about reconnecting with your joy versus. This one is going to be about regulating your nervous system so you can actually have the capacity to enjoy anything at all. And, honestly, these two episodes pair really well together. So why self-care feels so overwhelming? Here's the deal If your nervous system is in survival mode, self-care won't feel soothing. It will feel more like a threat. Your brain's like you want me to do a full routine this morning with the juicing, the exercising, the journaling. I'm still trying to survive that last group text. And the truth is, self-care shouldn't feel like a performance. It should feel like relief to your body.

Emily Feist: 2:10

The vagus nerve is your built-in calm switch. It's the nerve that runs from your brain down to your gut, your heart and your lungs. It's called the vagus nerve, but it's basically like it's your body's button saying it's safe now. But it's basically like it's your body's button saying it's safe now. When the vagus nerve is activated, your body digests better, sleeps deeper, thinks clearer which is always a bonus and stops defaulting to panic mode when somebody says hey, can I talk to you real quick. So let's focus on three tiny things that can send your vagus nerve that message saying we are okay.

Emily Feist: 2:46

Let's discuss these three micro self-care habits that actually work. First one is breathe. Like you mean it. You're going to inhale for four seconds and exhale for six, simple, right. One minute a day of long exhales can calm your heart rate, signal safety to your body and your nervous system and gives your brain like a little mini vacation. When we are in the fight or flight mode, it is much harder to signal to your body that it's safe to slow down and instead we often take those short, fast breaths because our brain's saying get more oxygen now fast. But when we are able to slow down our breathing it gives a signal to our body that we are okay. Because if we're able to slow down, to focus, to breathe, we know and our brain knows that we're not being threatened. So try focusing on your breathing before opening up your inbox or after someone cuts you off in traffic. And bonus if you're focused on your breathing, you won't be screaming.

Emily Feist: 3:55

Second habit is create a calm corner. Pick a surface, just one surface, declutter it and add something cozy, like maybe a little mini plant or a picture or that one mug. That makes you feel oddly accomplished. Why does it work? Your brain is constantly scanning your environment to determine if it's in danger or if it's safe, and a peaceful space becomes a visual exhale for your brain. Plus, it creates a familiar environment that can create a signal to your brain to calm down, just by being in that space. You can actually train your brain to relax, just by being in that space that you created. Side note there is no need to clean out your entire closet right now. One calm corner is enough.

Emily Feist: 4:54

Now, let's say you can't find a small corner in your house to create that calm space. Just pick a space that you can go to when life feels heavy. For example, the bathroom is also a popular place. A quick comfort might be a non-toxic candle. You can watch the candle flicker to create that calming environment, or even softly blow it out. Then light it again, then blow it out and just create that repeat pattern, because even softly blowing out that candle can gently blow away your stress. Just think about it. We had so much fun blowing out candles as kids, so let's just recreate that in a more adult way.

Emily Feist: 5:30

For me, my happy place is my porch, specifically my rocking chair. I have my blanket, a small table for my tea and the fresh air, and all together it creates an instant calm for me when I feel overwhelmed. The last third tip is to hum or touch your neck, fresh air, and all together it creates an instant calm for me when I feel overwhelmed. The last third tip is to hum or touch your neck. Now it might sound a little weird, but it feels amazing. Hum your favorite song, gargle some water or gently massage behind your ears. These activate the vagus nerve through vibration or gentle pressure. It's giving your vagus nerve a little massage of its own to rest and relax. It's fast, it's free and no one has to know you're doing a nervous system ninja work while you take your coffee break.

Emily Feist: 6:17

Listen, I know you want to feel better, but the idea of doing more feels like quicksand to some people. So let's not do more, let's do less, but better. Let's regulate your nervous system with these micro moments of calm that actually shift your nervous system. You don't need that perfect routine. You just need one good breath, one safe space and a little humming tune. And, most importantly, remember that it's not your fault that self-care feels hard. Life can be hard, but it is your time to make peace with your body. Again. Thank you for spending part of your day with me. May your day be gentle and your tea hot and your nervous system steady and soothed.