Pure Intentions Podcast
Pure Intentions Podcast explores intentional relationships & building authentic connections through vulnerability. Gain insights & personal stories on love.
Pure Intentions Podcast
Love vs Infatuation
In this episode, we dive into the journey from infatuation to true love. Here's the interesting story of how Chrissy A. & Sir Anthony met. Sharing our personal experiences, we explore the critical elements that help relationships evolve, including communication, family support, and therapy. Learn how to navigate the complexities of blending lifestyles, embrace authenticity, and build a foundation of genuine love. Whether you’re in a new relationship or seeking to deepen your connection, this conversation will inspire and guide you.
Looking for tools to deepen your connections? Check out our Intentions Starter Cards, designed to spark meaningful conversations and guide intentional dating:
🔗 Shop Icebreakers Cards: https://pureintentions314.com/dating-games/the-icebreakers/
💬 Share your thoughts in the comments: Have you ever mistaken infatuation for love? What helped you realize the difference?
📌 Get more in-depth on our blog: https://pureintentions314.com/love-vs-infatuation/
We listen and we don't judge.
Speaker 2:Sometimes all the time, most of the time. So all the time when I'm in the bathroom, I'm always typically the one that used the last of the toilet paper and I would leave just a little bit of toilet paper on the road, just so I don't have to change it. We listen and we don't judge. Welcome to the Pure Intentions Podcast, where real love, raw emotions and intentional relationships come together. Welcome to the Pure Intentions Podcast, where we talk everything relationship from an intentional point come together. Welcome to the Pure Intentions podcast where we talk everything relationship from an intentional point of view. I am your host, chrissy A.
Speaker 1:And I'm your co-host, sir Anthony.
Speaker 2:And today we're gonna talk. We're gonna talk about relationships, how we started our relationship, the difference between love and infatuation. We're just going to flow with the conversation today.
Speaker 1:So that's why you didn't tell me the topic.
Speaker 2:I mean we're just going to flow. We just gonna flow. Um, I really wanted to talk about how we met, because a lot of people ask us, like when they are in our space and they're getting to know our vibe with each other, they say how did y'all meet? So I feel like that's an important story for our listeners.
Speaker 1:All right. So this had. What had happened was I was in a spot doing the Fifi and I had like 30 chicks on me and they was just I couldn't which one. I'm over here, I'm over there. I got one on my neck and then I saw Shorty, like she was standing at me up and down, but I'm like man, I got 29 chicks on me. She was staying at me up and down, but I'm like man, I got 29 chicks on me. So then I scooted about 13 of them out the way, but then FOMO came back and I'm in here, I'm having a good time. I'm like oh, oh. Then I went to the bar to get a drink because there was too many on me and about four of them was in the back, and then you was like hey, I see you over there vibing and doing your thing, like can I get out what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 2:you know what that remind me of?
Speaker 1:like that martin episode where everybody had to tell their point of view of the story well, this ain't that this definitely became that so what's the real story?
Speaker 2:so, matter of fact, we don't have to go into like full details about how we met, but we can talk about like the first time we saw each other.
Speaker 1:That's what happened.
Speaker 2:I had like 35 of them Okay now let's get to a serious mode, because that is not what happened. First and foremost, when I very, very first saw you, you came into what was called Tilly's. At the time it was New Year's Eve. It was New Year's Eve, it was New Year's Eve and I hosted karaoke at Tilly's. I was standing at the DJ booth and I seen him walking through. He had on this little, you had a trench coat, right, he had this trench. He just had grown man status, like walking. And if anybody from Chicago that is listening or watching right now, y'all already know, y'all already know that Tilly's is like a hood spot. If you been, it's like real hood, like a lot of hood guys coming there. So for me, hosting it every week and seeing somebody like that walk in, it was like, definitely my type, like I'm like, oh my God, he's fine as hell. Thank you, yeah, but I I couldn't shoot my shot because he was with somebody. It was, yeah, he was with somebody Was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was with somebody at the time and I'm not that girl. I'm not the girl that plays second to anybody. I'm not the girl that's going to chase up after a man and trying to convince him that I'm clearly better than the woman that he's with. You know, I'm just not that girl. I am for being seriously though. I am so much for black love and for me I'm not going to come into somebody else's situation Like that would have been weird. So you know, it was like. You know I was like crushing from the sideline. But you know, out of sight, out of mind, after you know, continuously seeing you, it's like the reaction was kind of different because it's like you belong to somebody else. So now my mind has to deplete from anything.
Speaker 1:Naughty.
Speaker 2:Anything that involved a you and a me in it.
Speaker 1:Yes, and scrupulous ideas in your head about me.
Speaker 2:Yes, I did, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:When I came to the spot, I had the trench coat on, like in the movies, and it flow out and it was like I swayed up in that joint. The crowd moved as I walked through that joint.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, it was like 10 people at that time?
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't, it was bussing in.
Speaker 2:Right, but when y'all first came in it was nobody there. They started to come in later, like after midnight. That's why we stay open later why you bust up my story because tell the truth I'm.
Speaker 1:I am telling the truth. It was flowing like you've ever seen the movie. Uh, face off yeah, when uh walked through the doors and the birds flew up the one before that, when they was at the airport tarmac and he had a black trench coat on that was flowing in the wind when he had his double uh gold desert eagles I got you baby time stood still was like slow motion yeah and you and like 15 others was like yeah, let me stop fucking that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 1:I just gave my first reaction to you so for me I know you already know because I was I was locked in on somebody else so I wasn't focused on you, although you were the star of the show being the host of that thing. It was packed in that joint, it was.
Speaker 1:It was nice yeah but my attention wasn't there. Now, as I continue to come back, I was acclimated to you because I was introduced to you, but it was like a friend thing and I'm, yeah, the way I am. I'm respectful of who I'm with. If this is their friend, I'll get them a little side friend hug and that's about it.
Speaker 2:But I'm not we barely hug, but it was.
Speaker 2:It was times where it would be like a little church hug yeah, yeah, that's something to get you no, I get it, though, and that was part of the reason why I like crushed you a little bit more, because it's like the like guys even in that space that come there with their girl would literally be eyeing me. Like you know that the ad and the ad moment Sometimes a girlfriend would do it. So like I just enjoyed the fact. It was refreshing to see a man who could have possibly been attracted to a woman but respected his relationship enough not to cross those boundaries. Yeah, and it wasn't like a oh, I see what he doing, he doing, I'm gonna ease up in there, or anything. I really feel like that. Our situation was basically like a fate situation, like the right time, the right moment had to happen, because when we actually actually you stopped coming to Tilly's mm-hmm, tilly's basically closed, but then there was another spot and you didn't come there. So I hadn't seen him in what since February, because it was around my birthday. Yeah, I think the last time you came was around my birthday if I'm'm not mistaken, the new spot yeah the new spot wasn't the same vibe as the former spot, but you know it had its
Speaker 2:moment the sangas was there yeah, that, but the crowd, no, I had. You was February, come what was it? July, july, july. My friend, one of my friends, she had her. She was celebrating her birthday. So we ended up going to a beach party on the lakefront and it was an all-white beach party. I really did not want to go, though, like I don't know, I got into my mood of being accustomed to staying at home and just vibing and chilling at home or just hanging with my friends in the crib cooking and like I got into my like old lady stage. You know I wasn't. I was at the point where I was tired of dating and you know my friends just like, no, we finna go out here and find some, you know. And I was just like, all right, cool, I bought me a little white swimsuit because I didn't have any white, and we went to an all-white party?
Speaker 2:Yeah it was all white, so we ended up going to the lakefront and I was getting some food.
Speaker 1:And guess who I saw. That's how this meant. So yeah, bumped into you at the food spot and, um, I had literally just got out of that toxic relationship, like a week before, and you had asked me about that and I was like I'm single and prior so I didn't ask him was he still in a relationship with her?
Speaker 2:I just want to make that clear. I just asked him like where y'all, what my home girl at you know, like that, because I'm so used to seeing y'all together. So for me it was like kind of respectful to see you there and just, you know, ask about her. So it wasn't on like no sneak. I just want to clear that up. It wasn't on no sneaky stuff like um, I don't see you with shorty, what's going on? It was more so you did.
Speaker 1:You asked. The first question you asked is where she at. And I was like, nah, we done ain't no more of that, like it's done, done that's not what I got when you said that, though no you was like um nah, she ain't with me, no more, no, no.
Speaker 2:You said she ain't with me, she ain't here. So I just assumed yeah, I just assumed she wasn't there and I think it's a part of you that don't want your like. You just didn't want the business out there like that well, probably I did.
Speaker 1:That's the type of person I am. I'm not gonna broadcast my personal business. This is like the first time that I would have done something like that. We're opening up, the point of this is open up for the podcast, but in general, oh no, you're not gonna get. I'm Fort Knox, you're not gonna, you're gonna have to make your speculations.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whatever you believe is what you believe yeah um, but yeah, I probably did say that that sounds like me, but prior to that it was like that thing had ran its course a week before. I took some time because I had already been taking like this personal time for me, because that was like not going well.
Speaker 1:And I was chilling by myself and I just took some time and I went down to Indianapolis to hang out with my homie, terry Shout out to my boy. But I spent some family time with him to regroup, get my head together, because what I had to sacrifice in that last relationship was family and it was, like you said, refreshing to go down with him and a family oriented and to just hang out as as family. Hung out with his uh, he got adolescence boys in one team. Hung out with them. We fixed the gate like we did dude stuff and then that cleared my head, came back to chicago, hung out with more of my nieces and nephews to like, okay, this is what I've been missing. And then one of my cousins said hey, come to this all-white beach party. I'm like I'm going and, to be honest, I'm like I'm hoeing he, like I'm finna be a hoe I straight up free.
Speaker 1:I'm about to be. I'm about to be on the beach and ran into you. I did run into a couple other young ladies, but they didn't catch my eye like you caught my eye, because that whole day we was locked in talking vibing just in our own little world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because at first it was just like at the food place, it was just like a hi and a bye, and then we kind of separated and then I walked past you again and we started talking again. And then that's when I knew like y'all wasn't together, no more. And then you asked me you're like, how close was y'all? And I'm like we wasn't close at all. I will be real, because we wasn't. Like she was a regular at the spot that I worked at and I played it cool. Like everybody was cool. I vibed with everybody, but I wouldn't consider them to be my friends. I vibe with everybody, but I wouldn't consider them to be my friends. I wouldn't even go as close to say that they were my associates because we didn't talk at all outside of that space. So, like you were cool, that was my job, I was at work.
Speaker 1:So you know that happened, yeah, but I'm just like, but let me give you your, uh, your moment. So, like I was over there talking to my my cousin, to nando.
Speaker 1:He gonna be on the show, um, shortly yeah, me and nando big ups so I'm sitting there talking to him, telling him cuz I'm about to be out here, I'm about to hope today, right now, in 30 seconds. He's like I don't do your thing cuz you know you've been, and so you started walking past again and I'm looking at all of the guys looking their head, doing like this you just over here, with this slow, sensual switch, shoulders back, coming locked in, coming straight at me. I didn't think he was coming to me, I thought she was going to the food court, but then I was like, oh, here, like I'll talk to you later, cuz he clean, walk right off I remember that he let me do my thing, and we got to talking.
Speaker 1:It was like from that moment we was talking and the only break from that was because I did go back and see kiana yeah, your family and then I came back again because I had a chair and all this other stuff. I had to like find that like I lost track of all of that stuff and we was locked in talking, dancing, vibing, drinking, oh, baby we made out and it's so.
Speaker 2:It's so funny because, like I, I have been previously dating and me previously dating. I haven't been feeling like connections with people and it's like this thing like when you're dating, people think that you're in a movie, so they think once you go on a date with them and then a date ends, you're supposed to kiss them. Nick, no.
Speaker 1:Why not? I don't know where your lips been.
Speaker 2:They trying to be on you first of all look at them luscious, first of all, and they, they this, they this way, because I take good care of them and, mom, I can't be putting my mouth on every single person. And now I'm in, like I'm, my mindset is I'm dating. So until like, even then, that's what I told you. Until I met the person I wanted to be with, I didn't want to be actively out there with different men. So, um yeah, we were kissing like dead ass, making out all over the beach Like my. It was my friend's birthday. Her birthday didn't matter. Nobody around me matter like nothing else. It was like everybody disappeared and it was just me and you there, and it was so magical of a moment that I didn't even want the night to end at all do we go into the rest of the night?
Speaker 2:wait time out. I didn't want the night to end. So, um, what was I getting at? Us kissing, we making out, we enjoying each other company, we enjoying each other company. And, oh, my homegirls, when we talked about it afterwards, we talked about all our experiences that night, and they was like Chrissy, you was in straight lover girl mode. They thought I had just met you for the very first time at the beach and I'm like no, what type of girl you think I am? Oh no, but it was a moment. I really enjoyed it. It was and we can go further into it.
Speaker 1:But that night you and your friends got me drunk these chiclets. Going to take some BCs. Oh, yeah, because they knew what type of drinking we was going to be doing.
Speaker 2:That's one thing I learned from my homegirls is to always take a BC before you about to get lit.
Speaker 1:Okay, I didn't think we was going to get that lit. I knew we was going to drink, but not straight, with no juice. So we over there. What game was we playing? We were drinking straight.
Speaker 2:Yes, what game was that? We ended up going back to my homegirl house. It was me, it was three of us women, and then it was Tony oh, sir Anthony and two other guys that was there for my homegirls. So we just playing games, drinking games. I don't remember what it was. Never have I ever.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but we lost as guys and baby, they were so lit, they were so lit every, I think we all, everybody was lit in that house that night yeah, but we didn't have bcs and so it kicked our butts.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's personal. And everybody ended up spending the night because that's how drunk we was. Everybody spent the night at my friend's house. The next morning we go to my car. Somebody broke into my car, they broke into my car. All my stuff that was in my car is literally scattered Like. As soon as I walk out the door my car is like further down a couple of houses. I'm walking out, I see my purse. I'm like that's my purse. The purse didn't have nothing in it, you know, but I guess we was in a hood. I shouldn't have left the purse right there. But that's not the point. Like my doors was unlocked because the guys had went back to the car to get something out my car and forgot to lock the doors back because it was pouring down, raining y'all. Yeah, it was pouring down.
Speaker 2:So I went from beach to pouring rain, yeah yeah, and man, all my stuff was on the ground. I saw condoms, pictures, all those types of subjects everywhere, scattered everywhere on the ground.
Speaker 1:It was a night it was fun yeah, I had a headache in the morning, but it was fun. I didn't have a headache yeah, none of the girls had headaches let's move it to our first date the first date was at the house right yeah, it was literally the next day it was it was the very next day.
Speaker 2:y'all don't understand how my anxiety work, right. So I I had I made up in my mind like, oh, I'm really attracted to this guy, I really, really like him, and you didn't text. I screenshotted the text. You didn't text fast enough for me.
Speaker 1:Say that because I did text yes, you did text.
Speaker 2:You said, oh damn, baby, we was texting. But July the 15th you told me you were home. And I'm like you got there fast and it was like until you told me you was home at eight o'clock and I was waiting for a text message. Like I'm talking to you, we talk to everybody talking about the experiences, and I'm just like he ain't text me yet. He ain't text me yet. You text me at 4 14, which isn't a bad thing. I'm just telling y'all that my anxiety just went through the roof because I'm like I'm feeling this guy and I don't want another situation where I'm kind of liking a guy and then he just like ghost, but I wouldn't have been, I wouldn't have been mad about it.
Speaker 1:It just would have been like a letdown Like damn.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure like no excuses, but that was a Sunday. You was drunk, you was recovering.
Speaker 1:Day party. So then Monday I would have probably you know how hectic my Mondays are, but I probably did slack off and slept it off Then worked Then got back to tell you, so it's not no, you told me.
Speaker 2:You just woke up from a nap. It was because you was lit.
Speaker 1:I was yeah, so I didn't go to work that monday. No, sorry, clients, if you're watching this, please don't watch this but this was the thing you had told me.
Speaker 2:You was like I just jerk some chicken thighs and I'm like jerk. You know, that's my.
Speaker 1:That's like a love language to me and if you see our food videos, we should post some of that on our channel yeah, we can do that it don't have to be all about the business. It could this. This is how we became a couple. We have a love for food and it's almost like you know what we're going to start a friendly competition.
Speaker 2:I do want to start. We have a couple's channel for that, though.
Speaker 1:Follow our other TikTok channel and it's called the Wheels.
Speaker 2:Takeover yes.
Speaker 1:You'll see a lot of cool stuff karaoke stuff, food stuff. Yeah, follow that channel for that so you had texted me.
Speaker 2:You was like you was finna, jerk, some chicken thighs, and you had some baked potatoes and some veggies and I said, sounds good, jerk is definitely my favorite food. And he was like you coming for dinner, laugh out loud, but he's still coming, like coming.
Speaker 1:Oh, I said that.
Speaker 2:Yes. So at that time, oh my God, At that time I think I had. No, I didn't have my son, did I? I might have had my son? Nope, that was a different day straight off with simone no, coco watched him for me.
Speaker 2:One day we hung out, coco watched him for me. Okay, right, big ups to coco for that. She was a real mvp. But um, I went over, we had dinner. That's when I found out he could cook. And after dinner we just talked. Did we have sex? We didn't have sex that day. We didn't have sex that day, we didn't. Okay, I think I'm on my period. Yeah, after them chicken thighs boy.
Speaker 1:Oh man, that's yeah them.
Speaker 1:Chicken thighs made me want to show my thighs but no, I'm the one with the shameless plug, but when we talked, you brought these cards and then not our cars, but that's what inspired the. Well, this is one of many decks we have. What right now? Three, four, four decks available and we're going to get to seven yeah, seven in a couple weeks, but each one are different, so this one is the conversation starter. So I suggest that you start with this, for, just like the in general, you're want to date, or you're with your spouse, or you with somebody you're dating for a long time and you want to get rid of that awkward silence or just get to more deeper conversation to learn the person necessary conversation necessary conversation.
Speaker 1:So we have a couple's deck, we have a beyond dating um we have a friendship deck, because you gotta date your friends too.
Speaker 2:We have a reignite deck. That's the deck where you get out of a relationship and you thinking, hey, I think I want to try this relationship again with the same exact person, and this is a good deck for that particular situation yes, so from those cards oh, we have five decks the you and Me deck.
Speaker 1:I forgot about that. That just came out.
Speaker 1:Well when this airs, it'll already be in the store. Check out all of the decks that we have in the Purititious store on purititious314.com, and you'll see them all and more developing. But it was a great tool to open up for us to have dialogue, because I didn't know what it was. But it was fun though, and I was at a point of vulnerability and I was for me. I was going to be honest anyway. Yeah, where some guys they're not going to be as open, but you should be open and honest about it, because it's intentional dating. Is this the right person for me? And if it's not, it's okay.
Speaker 2:It's early, you know she can move around and or I can move around you know, yeah, but I wanted to get into more of the topic that we were supposed to talk about that wasn't the topic.
Speaker 1:No, it was part of it.
Speaker 2:But you know, I told you we're just going to flow, we're going to flow through. This one I did want to talk about because it kind of goes hand in hand infatuation versus love. Typically, infatuation was what we felt that day at the beach Like everything was perfect, Like I couldn't. I didn't see any flaws in you at the beach, and it was like that for a couple of weeks, weeks weeks too yeah, no facts.
Speaker 2:It was probably a month okay, I think it was a month, a month and a half of no flaws and everything just seemed perfect. We were, you were introducing me to your family Literally the day after the beach. I don't think we spent more than two days apart from each other. That is true and it's like what did it for me was um. My father had just passed away and you had a cousin's, a cousin's um.
Speaker 2:80 was 80 cousins 90s party 90s party and you asked me if I wanted to come and I'm like that's the same day that my father's repass is. And, um, in the past, dealing with relationships and death in my, I haven't had a partner that was like really supportive. So I feel like that God was like guiding you to be there in a specific point in my life so that I can value the type of man that you were. And you showed up and it's crazy because his friends, his, his I was gonna say friends giving his cousin's night was literally around the corner from where we had my dad's repackage it wasn't even what five minutes away yeah, it was down the street it was literally down the street.
Speaker 2:It's like literally everything was faith worthy and God put us in positions to just show up for each other. Girlies. Look if y'all got a good lip scrub this is so off topic comment with a good lip scrub because I've been searching, I've been trying to find my lips to be pilled. I don't like that. I don't like it, but anyways, back to it. Um no, but you showed up at my father's repass. We had not been dating that long at all.
Speaker 1:Like my father just passed away, I think it was like a week or less and I think it was a weekend the next weekend after we met.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my father passed away. You showed up and he and I'm thinking like you, just come in, a pull up, because you have to be the cameraman for your family and they were depending on you to be there to be the camera and sorry uh family, I don't have those photos like I'm supposed to, which y'all know y'all love me.
Speaker 2:Anyway, he pulled up and, oh, you were so handsome. He pulls up and he came in and stayed there the entire repass, like literally sat, and you were so supportive. You sat right next to me the entire repass and that's like a moment that I hold, that I'll hold with me forever, like it meant so much and I know that God knew how much that meant to me and he put you there so that I can see you for who you were. So I appreciate that moment. And then, right after that, we went to the cousin's night.
Speaker 2:And we had a ball had a ball yeah and what's.
Speaker 1:I can appreciate you because this is like less than a weekend and I threw you in the deep.
Speaker 2:I told you I'm throwing you in the deep end of the pool when I tell you his family don't know how to set their ass down. They do not know how to sit down, but I love it though, I absolutely love it like. But sometimes I'll be like nah, babe, you got this one, you got this one on your own and I'll let them just go, because I'll be so tired and you will really have to recuperate after spending time with them, because they do not. They do not go to sleep, they just be up they don't know how to go to sleep.
Speaker 1:They like to party 24 7 they're a lot of fun a lot of fun and I've been prepping you so when we go on this trip out of town. We are gonna leave them yeah and we're gonna damn we can't say that I was about to say it. But they gonna watch this and then they gonna be like uh-uh. You told me you was gonna turn your phone off.
Speaker 2:You told me you was gonna yeah, don't do that we're gonna cut this part out.
Speaker 1:But we leaving y'all, we turning our our phones off, we faking like that, the Wi-Fi not working on so well on our phones on the resort and live on that.
Speaker 2:So we ain't get the call, we ain't get no memo.
Speaker 1:And we gonna tell y'all the wrong room number. So when y'all come looking for us and knocking on our door, it's not our door.
Speaker 2:That's so petty.
Speaker 1:That's only gonna work for one day that's so petty, they gonna find our ass. They gonna go down there and drag us out the room like come on um, well, back to it.
Speaker 2:Infatuation, I feel like, is what we felt on the first day everything was perfect, everything was good, everything felt good, it looked good, it smelled good, like everything was like a fairy tale. But the difference between that and love, right, it's like infection. Infatuation is when you see everything to be perfect. Love is when you see everything isn't perfect and you still want to stay. The first time that I realized that I was absolutely in love with you was when you pissed me off.
Speaker 1:Which time was when you pissed me off?
Speaker 2:which time. It was a time when I don't like being late for stuff y'all. I really don't like being late for stuff y'all. I really don't like being late for things. And he was making us late for something. But I expressed to him that I don't like being late for things and we had a disagreement about it.
Speaker 2:And I think that was our first real disagreement and I fought myself on that, because I think that sometimes when you're so used to toxic situations or you're so used to people letting you down, you want to run before someone lets you down again. And I fought myself because in my head I'm like I don't think I want to be in a relationship, no more, I don't think I was ready for this. Maybe I should be by myself, like those are thoughts that was going through my head. But then, like I'm like no, he's a good man and're going to self-sabotage a good man for a minute moment. It was hard for me because we actually kind of yelled at each other and it made me feel like it wasn't going to work because of that moment and there was still parts of me that need healing. But I love the fact that I can recognize that and say no, set your ass down somewhere. We're about to work at this and we're going to try everything that we can before just giving up. And if I try everything that I can and it still doesn't work, then I know that I tried and me trying the things that I could.
Speaker 2:It was like you were receptive. It might not have happened immediately, like I was talking to you and to me you wasn't listening, but then the next day it's like you're doing things that show me that you were listening. I knew I was in love with you when, every day that I woke up, no matter how upset we got with each other when we went to bed, we was holding each other. When we woke up, it was baby, this baby, that we talked things out and I still wanted you. I didn't have a desire to be alone. I didn't have a true desire to find somebody else. Like the thing is, you're going to always end up in a situation because no two people are alike where you're going to disagree. But what I feel like is every disagreement that we have, it kind of gets better and better as far as communication goes, and I'm like I could spend the rest of my life with this man because he gets it. Even when you don't get it, you're willing to understand it, and that's everything to me.
Speaker 2:Aww it you're willing to understand it and that's everything to me. What say it nothing? Okay, letting you have your moment. So when did you?
Speaker 1:feel like you knew you was in love with me, I think. As for me, it was like it was. It has to be that it was like moments and it was checking boxes and I don't know if I should reveal those box checks why not?
Speaker 1:um, I guess the first box that was started to check like, okay, I'm really so, I have to build up to this. I'm really vibing with her when we was in our dating phases, like you said, it was times where you would come over and spend the night and the mode in which I was in, that's what I wanted. I didn't even have to ask you, you just stayed and I'm like, okay, that's what I wanted. I didn't even have to ask, you just stayed and I'm like, okay, that's what I like box check. And then when you went over for a couple days and I think your scent was on the pillow and I smell a scent and just hug up to that. I miss my Chrissy.
Speaker 2:Oh, baby, you never told me that I didn't. That is so cute, oh.
Speaker 1:Then, as it got serious, it would be like the things I guess of my love language that I like Because you know how I work. They probably don't know I work from home, even though the office space is down in Fulton Market, so I don't have to go there in the comfort of my home. So that cliche statement of if you roll out of bed and I'm in my drawers but I'm working though.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I'm like that, or sometimes I'm getting dressed in workout gear because I might move on to the gym, something like that if I I'm getting dressed in workout gear because I might go to the gym. I like to run errands. However, you would get done working, come back and know my love language and just go cook me something, and here and here and here. Oh lord, you know I'm gonna put all that on the screen I see but um, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, whereas before, of course, I can cook for myself, but I'm a workaholic and a lot of times I would skip breakfast. Wind up, it's 1 o'clock. I'm like, oh, where did the time go? And completely skip breakfast, whereas now I'm having breakfast every day, lunch every day and dinner, and it'll be like it's not like you're cooking all of the time. We'll take turns with that. But it seems like breakfast. You just go to that mode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's because you gotta work. And then typically, when I work, it's like a like a four hours a day, four o'clock in the morning, so I'm back in enough time to where you're, you know, brainstorming at your desk doing everything that you need to do, and I feel like why not? You know what I mean. Like I know I've been up since four in the morning, but I'm up, yeah, and you're working. So for me, it's like I want to do those things for you. I don't want you to have to. First and foremost, you can't not eat. Like you got to keep those where they at. He had to. He had to keep those where they at. And um, second of all, like I don't want you to leave from where your focus is just to fix you something to eat when I'm here. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like I'm here yeah, whereas my thought is like you've been up since 4 am, the first thing that I would want to do is go to sleep when I get back from work, but that you don't do that I be tired, but I'm like maybe I finna in the kitchen whipping up something real quick, cuz it's it only takes breakfast, not a long meal, like it's not that long to cook it.
Speaker 2:So if I just sat and worked for a whole nother man for four hours for the other man, why can't I come home to my man and give him 30 minutes of time to cook some food to make sure he eats and then lay down?
Speaker 1:yeah, and I like that mentality, whereas before it would be you're not getting no breakfast, buddy, it's where we're going to spend your money at a restaurant.
Speaker 2:No, I like to save, because the more money we save from restaurants, the more clothes I can buy.
Speaker 1:That's fine. I mean I'm going to have to spend it anyway. I'm going to have to spend it anyway. Money come and go. Yeah, I just like the, the, the aspect of being able to make it and it be a disposable piece and to enjoy life. It's a tool to enjoy life. Yeah, that's how I look at it. Yeah, I do work hard. I do work a little bit too much sometimes, but it's my gift and my curse, but it the gift.
Speaker 2:Part of it is when it's free time, when it's party time, when it's turn up time, we can do things differently than having to be into the rat race that everybody else you work a lot, but you don't let work consume you to where you don't enjoy life, and that's what what I love about you, because a lot of people have the mentality especially like when you making a lot of money, it's like I had to work, work, work and then family always come after that, like all the time, and I feel like there has to be a certain level of balance, and you exude that like. You have this balance in your life where, yes, you're going to work, yes, you're going to make your money, yes, you're going to make your money, yes, you're going to try to find new ways to make money, but when it comes time to relax and to be with your family, to be with me, to be with my son, my kids, like you do that and I love you for that.
Speaker 1:I love you too, baby I think that's that. I think that's important because that's how I grew up. Family was at the center of everything to. I think we said in another episode where, um, I grew up in poor neighborhood in inglewood in chicago. However, I'm a product of that, but because of I didn't want to be like that, so it changed my-.
Speaker 2:And we grew up right down the street from each other.
Speaker 1:Well, you came on in Englewood later. On.
Speaker 2:It was later on in life.
Speaker 1:When you came.
Speaker 2:How was you? I don't know.
Speaker 1:It was you said. When did you?
Speaker 2:It was 2007, 2008.
Speaker 1:I've been off Nashville then, so oh, he was out of the hood. I'm just saying but, I was out the hood by then. You know, I was a little bougie. I was in the suburbs by then. Okay, okay, bought my first house in 2006.
Speaker 2:Period, Period I had my first in 2000 and when was I 21?
Speaker 1:I don't know younger.
Speaker 2:I ain't know what to do with it, but I had it.
Speaker 1:But back on to you. So I'm building up this little story of um and you say love, so the things that it challenges me. So this is one of those. We listen and we don't judge moments with you. So you know anything about me. I'm a neat freak and so my baby's a little chaotic, but we're gonna make an adjustment and we deal with it.
Speaker 1:So sometimes she misplaces a lot of things okay sometimes she leaves things out of place, okay, but we adjust and everything don't have to be like a showroom floor all the time. So no, this is what I tell myself oh because that's.
Speaker 1:This is how you are like if it was me. Every when you walk into the house, everything gonna be perfect and not out of place. However, with my baby, you know, you go into a couple rooms and a couple, you know, like pillows when we get up off this couch. This is just how she gonna leave this shit, whereas me, I'm gonna put them back, I'm gonna do the little karate chop in the middle and all of that, but I learned I still don't know how you do it so nice.
Speaker 1:I'll be trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2:I'll be saying I'm like which pillow go where? And sometimes I know, sometimes you didn't notice Was it yesterday and this morning I made up the bed in the room.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Somebody told me a long time ago, about 20, 25 years ago.
Speaker 2:millionaires make their bed before they wake up, and I hear it all the time in my head. So that's what made me make it up for the past two days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, two days, but before that it's just been like it's like a pillow fight in this, like somebody throwing the shit out, I mean the stuff all around. But that's. We did an adjustment.
Speaker 2:But acknowledge.
Speaker 1:And we don't judge acknowledge that I do acknowledge that, since we listen and we don't judge we listen, we listen and we don't judge sometimes all the time, most of the time.
Speaker 2:so all the time when I'm in the bathroom, I'm always typically the one that used the last of the toilet paper and I would leave just a little bit of toilet paper on the road, just so I don't have to change it. I knew you was doing it. We listen and we don't have to change it. I knew you was doing that. We listen and we don't judge.
Speaker 1:I knew you was doing that, though. I'm like who leaves faux plies on the road. You can see the brown.
Speaker 2:We listen, you leave the brown, we listen, we listen and we don't judge. Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna trip you. You know in high school when they trip the back of your leg, you hungry that means you hungry if you collapse.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of people get so honed in with the fairy tale of relationships and those good moments when you first meet someone, it gets so acclimated to it that when the tough part comes in, when you guys are merging personalities and you're merging beliefs and you're merging, you know ideas between each other, you know ideas between each other. Things that were once separated coming together can cause conflict and a lot of people run from that stage. Um, one thing that I I did we haven't done it yet, but when we got to that stage I felt it, and I to you we should get a therapist. A lot of people see therapy as a sense of OK, something's wrong, let's try to get a mediator to fix it, and that could be useful when things go wrong. But why not get it when you know that there's a challenge up ahead and these people are basically licensed to deal with those said challenges?
Speaker 2:It's hard, coming from two different households, two different lifestyles and merging them as one. I mean you being late bothered me, me being messy bothers you. You know what I'm saying and being able to deal with that some people can't handle that. You know what I mean. So when you get to the point when your infatuation, or what they call the honeymoon phase, is coming to an end and you start experiencing these challenges, this is when the other podcast that we had we had about communication, about infidelity, all of these things this is when it comes into play, because your mind would get to the point where it's just like something isn't right because it's not clicking.
Speaker 2:It's just like something isn't right because it's not clicking. You're trying to force me into your world and not even thinking about the world that I've already created for myself, or I'm trying to force you into my world, not even thinking about that. You created a world for yourself. It's no longer you and me. We're a team 's, a us and us being new. We have to find that new um combination of your beliefs and my beliefs becoming our belief. What do we believe in? What do we want for our relationship? How do we communicate? And it's no longer a you and I.
Speaker 1:Going back on to what, why we jail, why we fail, why I fail, for you is a part of all of the boxes being checked. I guess I have to go along with that theme. It's like for me, my family is an important part of you being accepting of that, and what was my family is an important part of you being accepting of that. And what was what worked was is because you got two sides of your family but to you it feels small because you only interact with a small subset of this family and you want to latch on to something that's big and loving. And I have this and I had to get back.
Speaker 1:I had to kind of like separate myself for that, for a toxic relationship, to satisfy somebody who were insecure within themselves, who was trying to keep me away from them and my only thing to keep the peace is okay, I can't hang out with my cousins is like my best friends. Yeah, they're my first best. Honestly, they were and are. They were my best friends and still are. I see that and you see it, and anybody on the outside looking in, they see the videos or whatever we post on social. You know, sometimes you see things on social and it's, it's the hype of social like you can be in a party no, y'all like that for real, y'all look at you could be at a party and be like.
Speaker 1:I was at that party, but it wasn't that lit yeah, no, no it's that lit for real. It's too lit to.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you got to take a break from it yeah, I fall asleep like they'll still be partying, and I'm finding somebody's couch, somebody's something to lay down and go to sleep.
Speaker 1:And that's facts. So to be able to come into that, like I said, I threw you on the deep end of the pool and you survived that and treaded water in the ocean I'm talking about. It's literally like what you've met over a hundred different people and each event. Sometimes events are bigger than others, but that's the environment that you thrive in. It's like you having fun singing, dancing, talking bullshit and talking, drinking, like whatever that. That environment, oh my god, we are in.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, what the hell.
Speaker 1:And you thrive in it and the feedback that I get I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure you feel it it's like what kind of family, like my uncle told me what kind of family that you can walk into and she can come in and have and just fit in, like as she's been here for years with us.
Speaker 1:I even have friends that's like I love your new girlfriend, like they haven't even met you yet but they love you, they love your personality, how we put these videos out, how we being so vulnerable, how I'm back because they love me, they see that I'm happy again. Um, just being accepting of a lot of things that for me, like I sometimes I'm still looking at you like the little, the little I'm gonna put it on the screen the little African boy that'd be looking in disbelief like for real yeah um, so it's like all those things that I don't have the certain anxieties that I had in the past because I had to deal with so many layers of insecurities, whereas this is like, okay, it's letting my hair down.
Speaker 1:The things I got to deal with is not that bad and the stuff that you challenged me with, like, let's go back on it. We talked about my role rage. We talked about it If we aired a private video. We was over here bullshitting about with Donisha.
Speaker 2:We might, we might or edit some snippets of it.
Speaker 1:But my role race is stemming from something deeper. We talked about it from anger issues. It's like what you're looking at and I got that Like you're looking out for us. I got that like you looking out for us. Fuck with them. People on the road talking about fuck what a nigga made, even if he make me look like a pussy. It's like okay, but I'll be a pussy the next day and the day and the weeks and the years after that and I'm too stuck on looking like a pussy at that moment. Fuck that nigga. I don't like. So I'm still working. That's a work in progress and I'm working on it, but it's like you challenging me to be better at that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think going back to the infatuation ending phase, the honeymoon ending phase and getting into the this could be love and people running away from that, a lot of all of your relationships that you have with someone are meant to bring parts out of you and show the parts out of you that needs healing. It's meant to do that, like when you have a connection and a bond with somebody. Sometimes it's not going to be a forever bond, sometimes it is. God, send people in your life to show you hey, buddy, you need to work on this, just like you.
Speaker 2:When it came down to my tone and me arguing and the way I get loud and I always say I'm passionate, I'm passionate I calmed that down tremendously. Yeah, because I'm like this isn't passion, it's something deeper than that that I need to figure out, and I did. I figured out where it came from and I told you like I felt like nobody ever hears me. I have middle child syndrome and I felt unseen. I felt like my opinions didn't matter, didn't matter, my, my advice didn't matter to people and it caused me to yell and scream because I felt overtaught all the time. And then I saw how it made you feel and I'm like I got to change this. This is something I have to change about me. We bring out.
Speaker 2:It's like having a mirror, like you being a mirror for me, me being a mirror for you, and saying these are the ugly parts of you, but it's okay that you have these ugly parts, just as long as you realize that they're there and you're willing to work on them to become something more beautiful. I absolutely love you. I love you too, like I do, and you told everybody that I was emotional and, yes, I'm crying again With you touching on the subject of family, you know I don't have a deep connection with my family. Like it's me and my sister. You know what I'm saying. Like that's my ride or die.
Speaker 2:That's my ride or die, and it's. My mom has nine kids and it's like the closest person to me is my youngest sibling and it's because we understand each other on a spiritual level and an emotional level and even when we have disagreements, it's not combative disagreements, it's like, well, you know, to each his own. You know what I mean, but we still accept advice from each other. And coming into your family and seeing how loving and caring and big you know what I mean Everybody is and how they have fun Like my family, have fun together but eventually that fun dissipate because what happens is somebody gets drunk and then there's arguing and somebody wants to fight.
Speaker 2:By that time I'm out the door because I am the bougie one. I will be like look, the getter came out, it's time for me to fly, but with your family at all the events we've been to, it has never been like that. It's just fun the entire night and it's like they show me love, they show me that like I came authentically being me. I didn't put on the front I say, oh, I can, oh, I can't do this, I can't do that, or, you know, I got to be presentable for his mom. You know what I'm saying Like I didn't overthink it. I always want to show up authentically as me, even when we met for the first time and you said something. You want the truth or you want the.
Speaker 1:And I said I always want the truth.
Speaker 2:No, you want the lie no matter how it makes me feel, no matter if it's gonna hurt. I always want the truth. So, me wanting the truth, I want to give you the truth. So I'm going to show up as myself, no matter what situation I'm in, and if nobody accepts me, it means that I'm not meant to be there, and that was my mindset, going into it with your family. Just be you, chrissy and I know it's cliche and people give everybody that advice be yourself, be yourself. It's so true.
Speaker 2:In order to be intentional, in order to be intentional, in order to grow as an individual, you have to show up authentically as you. It's not to say that you don't need change. It's not to say there aren't things that you don't need to work on, because I think a lot of people do that. Well, I'm good, I'm me, I'm woo, woo, woo, and they stay the toxic version of themselves. When you get into certain relationships like friendships, family ships, romantic relationships show up as you and nine times out of 10, that person is going to say, hey, that's ugly on you, but you're such a beautiful person and you should probably work on that within yourself. And don't take it offensively, because nine times out of 10, god presented that person to you to show you that you do have a better version of yourself, because we all do. There is the strongest side of us. Our spirit wants to thrive and we don't allow it because we drown it with alcohol, we drown it with um, past relationship drama. All that toxicity weighs it down. And God keep bringing people in our life to say, even if it don't come off pretty to you, he'll bring somebody in your life and say, hey, that that right there that you got going on, that's not what I created you for, that's not within your purpose. Fix that. And if you don't take it personal and you take everything as a learning lesson, you will thrive. You will definitely thrive.
Speaker 2:And I think that's what goes through my head when we have conflict, like I'm going to listen to you because you could possibly be telling me something, because I can't see me on the outside looking in. You can't see you on the outside looking in. So when I say things, even when we have our disagreements, I always tell you I am not your enemy because I'm not. Tell you I am not your enemy because I'm not. I'm only here for your growth. I'm only here so we can grow together. So anything that I tell you is because I'm seeing something in you that you might not be able to see for yourself, and I want you to take that as okay.
Speaker 2:My baby is looking at me with lens that I can't have for myself right now, and how can we work through this? How can we fix this? And sometimes I have to take a second and do the same thing with you, because sometimes I get a little insecure, because I just want to be so perfect, right, I want to be like this perfect girl for you, but the perfect person don't really exist. You know what I mean. Like, I'm sorry, I just when I get to talking, I get to talking baby well, we got to wrap this up, so this has been another episode of.
Speaker 2:Pure Intentions 314. We have to start adding that, the 314 part.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I always add it PureIntentions314.com.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Catch us next Wednesday and every Wednesday.
Speaker 2:And Merry fucking Christmas to you guys.
Speaker 1:It's Christmas and then New Year's we gonna turn up 2025 period see y'all next week.