Pure Intentions Podcast

Can Modern Women Be Submissive?

• Chrissy A., Sir Anthony • Season 2 • Episode 4

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What does it mean to be submissive in a relationship? This episode of the Pure Intentions Podcast explores the layers of submissiveness within relationships. Chrissy A. and Sir Anthony break down personal experiences, tackling misconceptions about submission and its role in modern love. 

Filmed in beautiful Cancun, this discussion is as refreshing as the backdrop! From communication struggles to quirky kitchen debates and financial compromises, this episode is packed with real talk, self-awareness, and valuable insights. We dive into gender roles, relationship expectations, and the delicate balance between independence and partnership—all through the lens of intentional love.

In This Episode, We Discuss: 

  • The meaning of submissiveness and how it varies in relationships
  • The power of effective communication vs. just listening to respond
  • Gender roles in marriage—who should cook, clean, and handle finances?
  • Financial trust: merging money, budgets, and shared responsibilities
  • How social media impacts modern relationship expectations
  • The role of conversation starter decks in deepening connection

What are your thoughts on submission in relationships? Do you think it’s outdated or still relevant today? Drop your thoughts in the comments! 

Want to deepen your relationship conversations? Check out our conversation starter decks:
🖤 The Icebreakers - Dating Edition: Shop Here
💚 Beyond Dating - Committed Couples Edition: Shop Here

Key Takeaways from the Episode:

  1. Submission Looks Different for Everyone – It’s not about control but about support, adaptability, and teamwork. Each couple must define what it means for their relationship.
  2. Communication is Key – Active listening and responding appropriately help prevent misunderstandings. Not every conversation requires a response, but feeling heard matters.
  3. Balancing Independence & Partnership – Women can be both strong and submissive in ways that foster mutual growth. Submission doesn’t mean losing identity—it’s about trust.
  4. Financial Trust & Boundaries – Merging finances requires communication. Couples should set clear spending expectations and define what financial security looks like.
  5. The Small Things Matter – Who gets served first at dinner, who cleans, and who takes the lead in different areas of life can all impact relationship dynamics.
  6. Intentional Love Takes Work – Healthy relationships require effort, adjustments, and self-awareness. Couples act as mirrors to each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

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Sir Anthony:

So you want 50 shades of gray submissives? Huh.

Chrissy A.:

But you know what? I think you confused that I am the dominant in that situation. I'm doing the whipping Hell no. Welcome to the Pure Intentions Podcast, where real love, raw emotions and intentional relationships come together. Welcome back to the Pure Intentions Podcast, where we talk everything relationship from an intentional point of view. Welcome back to the Pure Intentions Podcast, where we talk everything relationship from an intentional point of view. I am your host, Chrissy A.

Sir Anthony:

And I'm your co-host, sir Anthony.

Chrissy A.:

And we are on vacation.

Sir Anthony:

Vacation, vacation.

Chrissy A.:

Tell them where we are.

Sir Anthony:

We are in the beautiful Cancun.

Chrissy A.:

Period and this is my very first time being in Mexico. How many times.

Sir Anthony:

In Mexico tres.

Chrissy A.:

Tres, so he's been here three times. I've been here this is my first time and I'm so glad that I'm sharing these moments with you, like I couldn't imagine being experiencing things like this with nobody else but you, cheers me period. Okay, so it is so beautiful out here. The music in the background there's like a water aerobics class going on right now. So if you guys hear the music, sorry about that, but it's great Like our room is beautiful, the resort is beautiful. Let's throw in some clips to show them some stuff.

Chrissy A.:

Thank you so sorry for the people that can't see it, but you can also go on our youtube, if you're listening to this, and watch it too, like subscribe, all that good stuff. So now we getting into it. So we're going to talk about, like just different things within relationships and marriage specifically, more leaning, more towards marriage, and whatever. But I wanted to because I've seen a post that says something about why is your opinion valuable to people. Like you see, social media, media everybody's always giving their opinion on things, and it's like what makes you, what makes us want to listen to you, like what makes you an expert at what you're talking about. Yeah, and I want you to kind of answer that on your end of why should people listen to your advice.

Sir Anthony:

From us from a pure intention standpoint, yes, Well, what we're doing is basically we're therapying ourselves. We're giving our own experiences from our point of view and, just like any testimony, somebody out there is probably going through the same thing and can relate, and this might help them solve their problem or understand something that they're going through or have yet to go through yeah, and I think for the most part I know that for the most part, we really do come from an intentional place.

Chrissy A.:

If you have been listening to our podcast, watching it, we give you guys our experiences with these topics. It's not like we're telling you you should do this or you should do that, or it's just basically things that we've dealt with and things that help us get through. Things that we've dealt with, you know, and we put ourselves here and, like you said, like this is like therapy for us, so something that that's geared towards our audience is really helping us in a sense with our relationship. So, I mean, we're you can go to other people that say I'm licensed this, I'm licensed that. That's completely fine if we don't rock your boat. I completely understand. However, we're just more into giving the experience that god gave to us to give to you. Yes, so just wanted to get that out the way, okay, okay. So today we're gonna talk about submissiveness.

Chrissy A.:

Um, now there is a lot of talk on different podcasts, on social media period, where people talk about women being submissive. Like you know, with men, if a woman say what type of man the thing is protect, protect and provide and then men are like I want a woman that's submissive. But what really is submissiveness Like? Does it change depending on the person? Is there like one rule of what submissiveness look like, and can a woman be submissive in some ways and not others? And that be okay? That's what we're gonna tackle today, okay, so what does submissiveness look like like? Like your preference of a submissive woman in a relationship looks like?

Sir Anthony:

my preference is someone that is supportive of the things that I'm doing and that the decisions that I'm making for the household, the leadership soft-spoken when necessary know how to just run the home like you know, the primary cook but it doesn't necessarily have to be the only cook, because we share those responsibilities even with the child rearing. The person that instills the emotion in the kids, especially for boys like that, that balance of masculinity and the ability to deal and with your emotions and handle your emotions, that's what I want, uh ingrained to a boy nope, I don't want femininity into a boy you ask what my preferences are and I'm telling you so I don't want femininity in the boy.

Sir Anthony:

I want him to be able to understand his emotions and regulate his emotions.

Chrissy A.:

That's a feminine energy.

Sir Anthony:

Okay, well, maybe I'm confusing this with the feminine traits.

Chrissy A.:

You're confusing it with being a female.

Sir Anthony:

Just not feminine Manurism.

Chrissy A.:

Stuff like that yeah.

Sir Anthony:

What else? Someone who listens, someone who listens and not listens to respond, but just you know genuine listen. Sometimes you got you can listen to somebody and it doesn't deserve a response, and then sometimes it does Not. Saying that this should be all the time. You just shut up and do what I say, but in some instances just take that in.

Chrissy A.:

Can I ask a question?

Sir Anthony:

Yes.

Chrissy A.:

So how do you determine what deserves a respond and what doesn't?

Sir Anthony:

No, I'm saying you as the woman, so if I'm speaking and then sometimes you just take that in, okay, I don't need to respond to this.

Chrissy A.:

Okay, but you said someone who listens and not listens to respond, and I think an issue that we have had was that I respond to, almost like when we're having conversation about a confrontation that we have, I'm going to have a response to it, and sometimes you think that I'm just listening to respond, just because I have a response to what you're saying, but I'm not listening to respond. I'm listening, I'm hearing you and what I heard from you, I feel like, okay, well, he didn't receive that the right way. I have to respond so he can understand how I really meant that or how it happened in my eyes, or whatever the case may be. But SHU confuses that with listening to responding too. So when I ask, like, how do you know what to respond to and what not to respond to? I think that's where I'm coming from, that place.

Sir Anthony:

Well, the way you have exhibited is you're always going to respond, and perhaps from what I'm asking for is work on you not having to respond to everything, and that's at your discretion.

Chrissy A.:

That's the thing, like I don't respond to everything. It's so so many things that I do pick my battles, like I choose and pick my battles. But when it's something that comes for my characteristics as a woman or if it's something that I feel like, well, basically, mostly that like, if you're trying to display me as being something that I know that I'm not, I'm going to respond to that Because I value your opinion, I value how you view me, and if I feel like you're viewing me in a wrong lit light, I want to screw that light on and help you fix that bulb okay you know what I mean.

Chrissy A.:

So I think there might be other women out there who might feel like their partner thinks that they listen to respond when, because sometimes it is hard for a woman to not I don't want to say defend, because you shouldn't be in a defensive mode, but sometimes you get into that when you're having confrontation with your partner, like, sometimes it does feel like you have to defend yourself, because it's like you have to look out for you, and if I'm not defending me in this moment and I don't get what I need to say out, then we might temporarily solve the problem.

Chrissy A.:

But in the back of my mind, because we are, as women, over thinkers, it's going to be a thought all the time. So then, how can we better communicate that or express that to you guys? So it don't come off as I just need to have the last word, rather than I want you to view me in the light that I want to portray and not in the way that you see it, and I want to understand how you see it, but I also want to defend my characteristics in that, like, is that a possibility to do that?

Sir Anthony:

I am not sure about that. That one is tough.

Chrissy A.:

The only advice I can give is do your defense in love yeah, well, let us know if you had that situation, if you feel like because I'm not gonna lie, a lot of us do listen to respond, but men do it too, and I feel like it falls short where a lot of things are blamed on a woman, like it's like the woman does this, the woman, you talk too much, you this, you that you know I'm saying, but in reality, if communication is the the thing in a relationship that helps resolve a lot of problems, why would I not be a talker? So there is that balance. Like you were saying that you want your wife to prohibit the femininity and teach your child how to be in touch with their emotions and how to you know what I'm saying, so you can teach your child the other half, the masculine side of that. You know. It's like there's good, bad, there's pretty, there's ugly. Everything has a balance. I talk too much because you don't talk enough. You know what I mean. Like sometimes men just don't talk enough.

Sir Anthony:

It's just not what we do.

Chrissy A.:

But that's okay, it's just to the point indirect and doesn't need over explaining and overthinking.

Sir Anthony:

Most men, we're just like that.

Chrissy A.:

Right. No, I understand that and to that point, what I'm saying is there. That's why it's a balance, that's why we talk so much, because there's a complaint that we talk too much. We always want to know how your day went. We always telling you stories, we all you know. I'm saying like we want to talk, communicate all the time. And if we had the same thing that y'all had where we don't value conversation, I ain't going to say, value conversation, but we don't want to talk Like you, just want to chill. If we both was just chill, how boring would that relationship be?

Sir Anthony:

You got some couples out there like that, that they talk when they need to talk. It's just not overly like how most women are, and they'd be cool what's so?

Chrissy A.:

you feel like I talk too much?

Sir Anthony:

you know, you talk a lot.

Chrissy A.:

Well, that's why we got a podcast, but do you feel like I talk too much?

Sir Anthony:

sometimes you be a little chatty catty yeah, I tell my man almost everything.

Chrissy A.:

I'm gonna say almost because some things like my friends tell me I'm not gonna kill talking, he wouldn't even want to hear it. Y'all like I'm not even gonna hold you. Like if I was like we had a girl's night the other night, if I came in and said guess what happened at the girl's night, he'd be like I do not want to hear it, chrissy. So I got a man that don't want to hear the gossip, baby, but I just be trying to get him the tea for it I try to get him the tea on um reality shows.

Chrissy A.:

He just be looking and he let me get it out because he don't like to talk. And I know this is happening, but I still talk facts but as far as your ideal of submissiveness, do you feel like that?

Sir Anthony:

I fit that category oh, yes, yes, you do. And then I didn't get to touch on a part about like at home. Maybe we should splice in there. So we both are great cooks. I don't know, I might get Christy a little bit of the edge on me, but I'm coming back for it. We're going to have a cook-off and have taste testers to measure.

Chrissy A.:

No, what it is with our cooking is we are good at, better at certain meals than the other person, but it's like the mid, it don't matter who cook it, it's going to be good. But like you and seafood y'all mesh so well together, like I, will not touch him with seafood at all. Those lamb chops, baby, hand that over to my man. Like you, the lamb chop seafood king. Okay, you know.

Sir Anthony:

Barbecuing, barbecue okay, you know barbecuing, you know, you know, and I'm coming up.

Chrissy A.:

I'm a breakfast girl and I know y'all like breakfast. Ain't no real food, but no, when I cook it it's not just bacon and eggs and sausages, I am cooking breakfast like it's brunch period.

Sir Anthony:

Yeah, just to be able to like how I think we talked about it on another podcast, for those that are listening.

Sir Anthony:

I believe we have, I just can't remember which one, but I will be working and it was the manifestation one bad huh bad huh it's understandable, but at least the sun just went away for a minute um, the manifestation episode, where I just briefly mentioned about how you will, uh, work and then get done with what you're doing and come and fix me breakfast while I'm working, like just that intuitiveness. I don't have to, I don't even have to tell you, or like when dinner time come, if you feel like a meal that you want, you just go prepare it. If I need to be involved, of course you'll ask, but if it's something you want on your own, sometimes you do the whole shopping by yourself and cooking by yourself, because I know a couple that the man does the shopping, the woman does the cooking. She never goes shop for the food, but he never cooks, and that works well for them. It's all about that balance.

Chrissy A.:

No, I like being able to do things for you. It makes me feel more in touch with my womanhood, if that makes sense. Is it a debacle? Is that the word?

Sir Anthony:

What Debacle. What does?

Chrissy A.:

that mean.

Sir Anthony:

Like an issue. Okay, yeah.

Chrissy A.:

Conflict. Yes, we had a conflict about y'all. I downloaded this app and I'm trying to learn new words, so, if y'all hear me, like, is that what that means? That's where I'm at with it. So we, is that what that means? Like, that's where I'm at with it? Um, so we had a debacle. Is that how you pronounce it?

Chrissy A.:

We had one on the fact that, um, my cleanliness needs some work, right, and it was like a big thing for me because I'm learning in this process to not take everything so offensively. And for me I felt judged because, like I said, like I care how you look at me, and it was like you didn't say this, but what I heard was you dirty, Clean up my car because you dirty, and sometimes that happened, like when you have unhealed wounds, like things do trigger you, and for me it was a trigger and it took it to a whole nother level. So now we're in confrontation and it's like this nigga, think I'm fucking, I'm gonna leave, I'm gonna go. If I'm so dirty, I'll be dirty in my own house. Like those are my thought processes when we get into it about stuff that triggers me and I have to take like a second and a step back and like, realize what the hell is going on. You know what I'm saying and, um, you told me the issues that you had and I just fixed it.

Sir Anthony:

Yeah, you, just you adjust it. You made an adjustment.

Chrissy A.:

Yeah.

Sir Anthony:

And you fixed it.

Chrissy A.:

But I must say me fixing it and doing those things, just like cooking for you, it made me feel closer to my womanhood. You know what I'm saying. Like I'm'm not nasty, y'all, but I, I am a little messy. Like I will take off clothes and they'll be on the floor, like if the laundry is full, instead of going to go wash the clothes and clear up the laundry basket. Like, but I'm growing and I'm changing and, like I said in previous podcasts, that we're each other's mirrors, so you're going to show me things and I'm going to have to adjust. You know, and it's not a negative thing, it's very positive to be aware of who you are at that moment, because we all here to elevate. Like, we're here to elevate. So me getting up in the morning making sure the bed is made, because I'm the last person, it feels good to me now, like it really feels good, and I didn't realize how good this would feel. I just felt attacked, you know what I mean.

Sir Anthony:

And I tell you huh, no, go ahead.

Chrissy A.:

I tell you all the time, like when we have a confrontation, like I'm not here. I tell you all the time, like when we have a confrontation, like I'm not here, I'm not against you, I'm with you. I'm going to always be with you. So anything that I say to you, don't take it as a negative, and that was me having to take my own advice. Like you're not against me, you're here for me and we're here to grow together. And sometimes we got to remind ourselves of those things. But I absolutely love you for that. Like I, I just I still don't like cleaning the bathroom. I ain't gonna hold you. I do not like cleaning the bathroom y'all. It just be hair everywhere and that hair be stubborn. Y'all ever like y'all, y'all been there. The hair just be so stubborn don't want to come off the floor. When you think you got it all off the floor, you start mopping this new hair on the floor and it's like where the hell did this hair come from?

Chrissy A.:

but I love being in my submissive energy. I've always been a very submissive girl, but I think you've taken my submissiveness to a whole other level and it's making me love this version of me more.

Sir Anthony:

Now another version that you hinted at on that other podcast. So you want 50 Shades of Grey submissiveness? Huh.

Chrissy A.:

But you know what? I think you confused that I am the dominant in that situation. I'm doing the whipping.

Sir Anthony:

Hell no. We ain't talking about that at all.

Chrissy A.:

We didn't. I mean, I could take it, but I would prefer to be the person.

Sir Anthony:

Oh, we ain't got no deal.

Chrissy A.:

But you thinking of it in a different like. I know where your mind is going. I'm not whipping you on your ass and doing that like it's gonna just try it.

Sir Anthony:

It might feel good, sorry, I thought I didn't post it. I'm about to be christian gray and you that's the whole movie.

Speaker 3:

I'm submissive in real life.

Chrissy A.:

Like why can't be dominant in the bedroom?

Sir Anthony:

They got things to go for dominatrix.

Chrissy A.:

We'll talk about it off camera.

Sir Anthony:

What else to talk about?

Chrissy A.:

We really won't talk about it again.

Sir Anthony:

That's hashed out.

Chrissy A.:

That's crazy. That's crazy.

Sir Anthony:

I wouldn't do that to you hey, I'm sorry, some things, some you have to have boundaries and no facts, because I have my boundaries when it comes to you sexually.

Chrissy A.:

Okay then, and some things are no go okay and it won't go.

Sir Anthony:

Touche okay we'll leave the 50 shades of chrissy alone.

Chrissy A.:

Man, I thought I was about to follow up and and it won't go Touche. Okay, we'll leave the Fifty Shades of Chrissy alone.

Sir Anthony:

Man, I thought I was about to follow up and not this video, because I had to learn how to do this stuff first and then come back and say, hey y'all, I'm the whipping ass master.

Chrissy A.:

Oh no, baby, it was not Fifty Shades of Tony, it was Fifty Shades of Chrissy, the movie. The movie's called 50 shades of gray after the guy, christian gray, who was whooping that ass that's okay the male was whooping the female's ass but she never experienced it and you haven't either and I'm not going to okay, back back to it. Back to it. Have you ever dated somebody who was very submissive outside of me, like we're not talking about me now?

Sir Anthony:

Yeah, my ex-wife was.

Chrissy A.:

Yeah.

Sir Anthony:

Yeah, y'all share a lot of the same traits.

Chrissy A.:

That's so funny because everybody keeps telling me I look like your ex-wife.

Sir Anthony:

That's y'all favor.

Chrissy A.:

What she's a beautiful woman, very beautiful. She is very beautiful. Y'all have a beautiful daughter like it was given. It was given happy family, like you know, I'm saying it was cool. It was cool back then, but I can get that energy from her. Yeah, I could feel that. Yeah, what was one thing that she did that you absolutely loved?

Sir Anthony:

I think I told you about this in part of what you're. You didn't explain this, but I'll explain it. What you're doing in adjustment is she would, when things need to be purchased for the house or anything for the house, she would just go on my wallet and just take the card or whatever cash I had and go do it Back in those days when you carried mostly cash and didn't use your card as much, and you come in your wallet. It was like a love-hate relationship with that little instance because I would go to the store to buy something, knew I had money in my pocket and go and get an empty wallet damn it. So do you all take cards? That was back in the days when you had to ask do you take cards? So now everything is all cards and it's rare that they can. You know. So if you run around with cash list for a couple weeks, it's you can get away with it nowadays.

Chrissy A.:

Back then you couldn't yeah, and now that situation was hard for me because, like you said, that was something that I'm learning how to adjust to, because I the background I come from, you know, like, um, I had a situation, I had situations where people stole from me. I had situations where people stole from people that were within our household, you know, and your mate huh your mate, or just.

Chrissy A.:

This is just no, this is just like I don't want to get too much in depth with like my life, but it was like family shit and we dealt with people that would just do that, and then I would see the anger of response that the other person had, so like um, I know women probably out there.

Chrissy A.:

Like he said, just grab his car, girl, and go you crazy, just grab that one fucking go, but I'm I'm just not that like I'm learning how to be that because that's what you prefer, but I'm not like that type of girl like I. I need your permission. Like I grew up in a household, we have to have permission to go in the refrigerator. We needed permission to do. You know what I'm saying. So when you come this is what I mean by when you come from two different backgrounds you try to merge them as one. There are difficulties and pushes and pulls there because it's like look, I grew up my entire life being trained because that's what it is trying to ask before I touch something. It blew me. I felt it was a big little exotic bug.

Chrissy A.:

It was really tiny oh, um, but we had to ask permission for everything.

Chrissy A.:

Like I couldn't even open all my Christmas presents, oh, wow like I opened them up from the wrapper but I couldn't open them all up and play with them. Like it was like you pick two toys to play with and then if I wanted another one because I got tired of the other ones, I have to go ask to open another one. I can't just do it. So that was the type of household I grew up in. It was kind of difficult for me to just just like take your card and just get the swiping and like, okay, we need this, we need that, without saying, hey, babe, what's the budget this month? Or what is the budget that we, and then having to figure out a plan to meet that budget. I understand you know.

Chrissy A.:

So that's why I'm like compromise with me, like let's put a budget together I can.

Sir Anthony:

I have no problem with putting the budget together, and that's a plug to the other episode, our money episode. So if you haven't watched or listened to that one, go check that one out on. You know how couples can budget, deal with financial issues and be on the same page, so for us is getting on the same page. Of course, in our relationship I'm the provider and you know I provide money for you to do the things you need to do. But what I'm adding into this mix is what she's talking about it if, whether she have it or not, if it needs to be done and it's in, you know, like her court, where she would go stuff you know laundry stuff or clothing for cam or something like that things that's needed for the household just go. I'm saying, go do it because I know it's going to be within budget. But you're saying, okay, here's the budget for this. You know that you can go do whatever you need to do, but stay within this limit.

Chrissy A.:

Because I've been exercising my rights to use his car y'all. That's where I got this outfit from.

Sir Anthony:

It's a beautiful outfit, thank you.

Speaker 3:

Show it on the screen right girl, you got me singing oh, oh, oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Period.

Chrissy A.:

But yeah, so I love that I'm the woman that I am for you because I love the man you are for me. Like, I think, where social media influences relationships and everybody gets confused because they think that your life is supposed to be lived one type of way, like if you depend solely on the man, then you'll end up with the short end of the stick if he leave you. You know what I'm saying, but I don't. I don't necessarily live my life for if you leave. You know what I'm saying, but I do like. I mean, I don't work my job no more.

Chrissy A.:

I work for you and I am putting my trust in you, but the thing that I know in the back of my head is just something about this just feels like it's me and if we weren't together tomorrow, next week, I don't think you'll just fire me and be like you can't work for me, no more. You know, or I know, even if something happened, I've always been in a situation where, if I fall, I know how to pick myself back up, like it's nothing, to get back to me again, and even with our relationship, like with the money that I think you know this, though, with the money that you'll be paying me, I put some of it to the side. Financial episode Go watch it.

Sir Anthony:

Go watch that episode, go listen to it.

Chrissy A.:

And I don't think you mind that, like you know, because it's not like an escape plan, but it's like, uh, we don't have to spend all the money type of thing, and let's just say, all this money is still together and cam goes off to college.

Chrissy A.:

We, we might have enough to just send them off to college, you know, or whatever, to buy him his first car, you know, stuff like that. So, yeah, there's a balance to this. You don't have to listen to everybody and compel together like, oh well, this is what my man's supposed to be doing, this is what my woman's supposed to be doing. Figure out what you like, what you enjoy, what makes you happy, and I guarantee you, like I think it's easier for me to be submissive with you, and because it's easier for me to be submissive with you, because you give me what I need, as like you give me that protect and provide, like I feel safe with you. You know, I don't feel comfortable, I feel challenged all the time with you, so it just it just feels right. So I'm gonna be submissive to my man and I love that.

Chrissy A.:

I love that about you yeah, but we out here sweating y'all and I feel like we spent enough time with them.

Sir Anthony:

If you want to close out and say anything at all, Well, as Chrissy said, submissiveness is something that, as a woman, what do you define that as? And then as a man, what do you define it as? And when you're together, how do you combine that together? Because there may be some deal breakers or not, especially if you all have the same and it meshes well, then go for it. But in general, what the society right now is wrestling with is there is a lot of independent women that really do have to do everything for themselves and when they meet somebody relinquishing that control to somebody to trust that they'll take care of everything that they would have needed and more, I understand that challenge.

Sir Anthony:

But once you meet that king that is satisfying all those needs, making you feel protected, making you feel in your feminine energy then roll with that Like, run with that 1000%, because that that reciprocal energy back to us as guys. We love that. We love a soft, energetic and submissive woman. Like to have to wrestle with you. To come from wrestling with the world to come in the house and wrestle with you. It's not what we want. We want that peace at home, and being submissive is partly creating that peace at home.

Chrissy A.:

That's all I have to say about it I have something else to say, because you brought up, sparked a memory. Everything you just said love it. It sparked a memory because I I was a professional online dater. I'm not going to hold you. I dated online. I had every dating app I think I said this before. I had every dating app that you can think of, but I had met this one guy and we started FaceTiming each other and we would talk on FaceTime and he was pretty cool, you know, and we was getting to know each other.

Chrissy A.:

We pulled out the deck of cards asking the questions and he started asking his own questions that he made up. He's like oh, that's a dope idea. Let me ask you some questions. The cards opened up his mind to ask certain type of questions. He asked me. He gave me scenarios if you are at home and you're fixing, you're serving me. This is what he said. And, yes, us women do have a problem with the word serving. I don't. However, I don't have a problem with serving. It's saying I serve my man because my man serves me too.

Sir Anthony:

So, like, I don't have an issue with that word I think the trigger with most women is that now you'll be a little on me and I'm perceived as a slave yeah that's the trigger yeah it's not what that will continue but he said if you're serving me, are you going to serve me on a paper plate or a glassware?

Chrissy A.:

and I'm like well, we're home, I'm going to serve you with glassware. You know what I'm saying? That's just how we cook. The only time we use paper plates is if it's something fast, like a sandwich. Sometimes we even use plates with that. If it's like I just cleaned up, you just washed the dishes, or I just washed the dishes, I'm going to use this motherfucking paper plate, because who the fuck? But sometimes I don't even do that. I do still do it, whatever. That's beside the point.

Sir Anthony:

I was gonna say you haven't done that with me.

Chrissy A.:

No, I haven't.

Sir Anthony:

It's typically on glassware.

Chrissy A.:

Yeah, okay, so I'm tripping, but anyways, so I'll answer the question. It was like right answer. Now, as he's talking, there's like these triggers. I don't like the way he's talking. I can receive it, but the way he's saying it it was just like it did feel like I was meant to be his slave or something in those cases, I can understand that, still working on it, they're trying to give us a refill.

Chrissy A.:

Love this resort but the whole plate thing. And then he was like, okay, we're at a friend's house and they're serving dinner, but they're doing it on paper plates. Are you going to go get a glass plate to put? I'm like, no, that's not my house, why would I do that? Like that doesn't even make sense. He felt a problem with that. I'm saying this to say open up those conversations when you're dating. Like, open those conversations. It's okay that he wanted me to go in a stranger's house for him to get glassware. That's okay for him. So maybe there's a female out here. That's rude like that. Because I think that's rude like if you come to my house and I'm serving stuff on on paper plates and you go into my kitchen or even if you ask the whole thing is I'm serving this because I don't want to wash this that's what he said.

Chrissy A.:

He said at least ask them first, so my answer was correct for him when I said I was gonna do the paper plates, but I didn't ask, at least ask to see if they'll allow me to use the glassware. To me that's controlling and it's like, but there are women out there that might not view it as such, so that's who that person belongs with. And that's why I say open up these conversations, like the topic of submissiveness. What does submissiveness look like to you? That's a great question on a first date. What does protecting, providing, look like for you as a woman? You know what I'm saying. So I can know as a man, not me, but I can know as a man the person you you're dating. You know as a man if he's able to protect and provide you in the way that you value you know.

Sir Anthony:

So I just wanted to get that out the way no, now you're sparking up other stuff because people can probably take what I'm going to say next and do maybe a checkbox what works for you? So like there's the age-old question of when you cook and the kids are home, who gets served first. Have that conversation.

Chrissy A.:

I do not like that question.

Sir Anthony:

Why.

Chrissy A.:

I don't like it because it's like everybody finna eat, everybody finna. Some people grew up in a household where the kids got their plates first. I don't feel like there's a right or wrong answer with that. You know what I mean.

Sir Anthony:

Like if I maybe because you did it and I just assumed you knew it. You served me first and that's the that's the preferred way that.

Speaker 3:

I Do, I do that.

Sir Anthony:

Yes, so that's why I never I'm hearing this indifference right now, that you didn't see that there's a no baby.

Chrissy A.:

What we do is we will make all the plates and just put them on the table and we will eat together.

Speaker 3:

Or eat together.

Chrissy A.:

Yeah. But when we do eat, but Cam typically eats first, because he always complaining about food.

Sir Anthony:

You know what You're right, I didn't notice.

Chrissy A.:

I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry.

Sir Anthony:

He must have a tapeworm. He stays hungry Every time you're cooking. You just get started.

Speaker 3:

Is the food ready.

Sir Anthony:

You're 20 minutes into it Is the food ready, and then he do this.

Chrissy A.:

Oh, it's going to take forever. Yeah, so we gonna take forever. Yeah, so we, we just get him out the way and be like here here, boy, get the food, eat the food here, your food. But I just feel like it's a controversial topic for no reason. Like we're all gonna eat. I feed you more, like I give you more food than all of us, because you are the man and we gotta make you big and strong and keep that up, though. So, but if there are women that feed their husbands before they feed their children, great, if there are people out there to feed their children before they feed their husband, I don't see what the fucking problem is like. Why are we talking about this when people are out here dying?

Sir Anthony:

well, we're talking about communicating, about submissiveness and that in my eyes. I didn't even think about it until, but it is. He's a hungry, hungry little kid and he's always, he's the. Are we there yet of food? Yes, so he probably does get his plate, first Like the little portion, and then mine is still like simmering and doing his thing, and it comes a little later. So that's why I probably didn't notice when it's those one-offs, this thing, and it comes a little later.

Sir Anthony:

So that's why I probably didn't notice when it's those one off, otherwise we're all eating together. Yeah well, I prefer to be served first and then the kids after that. So, um, but a good thing to have those conversations. So this opened up the dialogue, so we're having it now. You've seen it live on the show in cancun. You all have it in your discretion.

Chrissy A.:

Period Well being on Shameless Plug.

Sir Anthony:

Shameless Plug. We go to our store, pureintentions314.com, we have conversation starters, the black deck, which is the intention starters for any gamut, especially the beginning, but the green deck, the beyond dating if you're committed. It has questions for opening up the submissive talk, dialogue, and with that we're going to close it on out.

Chrissy A.:

Period. Thank you, guys, for joining us yet again, but it's time for us to go out and have a good time, because we are on vacation. See you guys next week.