Pure Intentions Podcast
Pure Intentions Podcast explores intentional relationships & building authentic connections through vulnerability. Gain insights & personal stories on love.
Pure Intentions Podcast
How to Spark Your Relationship After the Honeymoon Phase
Relationships require more than love—they need deep, intentional conversations. In this episode of the Pure Intentions Podcast, Chrissy A. and Sir Anthony dive into trust, personal space, and communication, exploring how these factors impact relationships. We also introduce the Beyond Dating conversation card deck, a powerful tool to spark meaningful discussions between couples.
From personal experiences to expert insights, this episode reveals why intentional communication keeps the honeymoon phase alive and strengthens long-term relationships.
Want to build deeper connections? Check out our conversation starter decks:
💚 Beyond Dating - Committed Couples Edition
🖤 The Icebreakers - Dating Edition
In This Episode, We Discuss:
- How communication strengthens trust & emotional security
- Why personal space is essential for a healthy relationship
- Overcoming insecurities from past relationships
- How Beyond Dating cards help couples connect on a deeper level
- The importance of dating your partner even after the honeymoon phase
What’s the biggest challenge you face in maintaining deep conversations in your relationship? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
Key Takeaways from the Episode:
✅ Personal Space Strengthens Trust – Time apart isn’t a threat; it’s necessary for individual growth within a relationship.
✅ Trust Takes Work – Past experiences influence present relationships. Healing & open communication prevent unnecessary insecurities.
✅ Intentional Conversations Build Stronger Bonds – Couples who actively engage in deep conversations maintain stronger, longer-lasting relationships.
✅ Keeping the Spark Alive Matters – Dating shouldn’t stop after the honeymoon phase; effort keeps relationships fresh & exciting.
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How would you feel if I felt uncomfortable with what you wear?
Chrissy A.:That can be acts of a man too, because y'all got them great jogging pants. And, baby, when you be putting on them great jogging pants, thinking you finna run some errands without me, it's absolutely insane. Welcome to the Pure Intentions Podcast, where real love, raw emotions and intentional relationships come together. Welcome back to the Pure Intentions podcast, where we talk everything relationship from an intentional point of view. I am your host, chrissy A.
Sir Anthony:I'm your co-host, sir Anthony.
Chrissy A.:And today we are going to get inspiration from our Beyond Dating cards that you guys should have purchased by now, but if you haven't, you can go on our website at yourintentions314.com. And you can purchase our beyond dating cards. This is for the couples that are actually committed in a relationship and just want to, like you know, keep that little spark alive with opening up the communication. So let's just get some inspiration from it, you ready?
Chrissy A.:I'm ready okay, I'm gonna shuffle it up a little bit for you. Oh, I accidentally left the instructions in there. It comes with instructions. It comes with instructions. These are nice hefty cards. They strong, okay. Okay, pick a card, any card, that one, that one spoke to you Mm-hmm Okay.
Sir Anthony:So this is me saying it to you so you mean you first.
Chrissy A.:However, we want to play. If you want to do it like that, it's a shoot or puller.
Sir Anthony:Let me change it around around. I'm not going to read it verbatim because I think this is a question that should be asked to a woman. So how would you feel if I felt uncomfortable with what you wear?
Chrissy A.:that can be acts of a man too, because y'all got them great jogging pants. And, baby, when you be putting on them gray jogging pants, thinking you, finna, run some errands without me, it's absolutely insane really yeah.
Sir Anthony:So what should I do in that case?
Chrissy A.:put on something different really yeah.
Sir Anthony:So to all the fellas that's wearing the light gray jogging pants they just shouldn't buy them.
Chrissy A.:Why not, Unless they just wearing them for they significant other. That's just my perspective. I didn't realize how deep it was because I heard the gray jogging pants thing. But that day that you threw them jogging pants on and I was minding my business and you're like, baby, I'm going to be right back. And I looked up and I'm like be right back where.
Sir Anthony:That's true.
Chrissy A.:So I didn't know the extent to the gray jogging pants until I experienced it in real time.
Sir Anthony:Okay.
Chrissy A.:So that question is for you too.
Sir Anthony:Okay, so I'll read it verbatim how would you handle feeling uncomfortable with what I wear? That's what it said, but I changed it. So, with the gray jogging pants, it's a no without you.
Chrissy A.:It's a no without me. Okay, yeah, all right, your turn. I ain't feeling that way at all.
Sir Anthony:But if I'm wearing them around you, then what?
Chrissy A.:It's a party.
Sir Anthony:Okay, how important is personal space to you? It's important, I know. On one of the podcasts you asked me that and I was like long as I get to go down and that still holds true. I ain't got one boy, terry. Shout out to my boy, terry and indy, um, the little time that I do take and what I'm spending with the very few guys that I call friends or family, or when you take your outing, and then I have the whole place to myself in peace.
Chrissy A.:It feels good, don't it? It feels good. So we were supposed to go see Kimora this weekend, right? And I'm like no, babe can go. You know, I want to be there and I thought you were really going to go and I'm like, oh, I'm going to have the apartment to myself for the whole weekend, like I was excited about that, yeah, okay no, I wasn't kicking you out because I wanted to be there too.
Chrissy A.:I love my personal space. I love when you know we can take that time apart. I love the fact that you don't call me bugging me where you at what you doing when I am going away. It shows a level of trust and you know that feels good. You know to not think that, oh, why is she taking so long? What's she doing? Or even the fact that, like yesterday, you had somewhere to go and my friends like we ain't ready for you to leave yet, and I'm just like, well, I gotta get home to my man, and it was like you always get him. And I'm like, well, you know it's somebody's birthday. However, I was enjoying spending time with them and, in fact, you're like, okay, well, it's cool, just long, she back by 11, it's fine, like I. I love that we're able to do that, because it's a lot of people that don't know how to separate and detach. They feel like they have to do every single thing together yeah, and that is not healthy at all.
Chrissy A.:So guys need guy times with the guys and then they need alone time just with themselves for personal peace, and vice versa, yeah, so I think that it's like a fear associated with that, when you've been heartbroken so many times or you've been done wrong so many times, or you have trusted somebody, and then it's like I've given this person my trust prior to you, and when I did that they fucked me over, yeah, and then it's like I have to relive that and give somebody else my trust. It's not that I don't want to trust you. It's like it's hard for me too, because I have trauma still there from my previous relationships.
Sir Anthony:Yeah, I understand that, but to me and that's what I feel correct me if I'm wrong that's like a normal cycle where, if you guys' trust was broken in the last relationship especially if it was a repeat thing and you're in something new and you're starting to get those spidey senses of okay, you're doing stuff a little different, you're moving a little different, so it starts to do a trigger With me. I don't want to relive those traumas. I want to be able to trust who I'm with and if I'm having that in spidey senses, then that's going to accelerate me like figuring out what's going on really early, instead of, like in the past, I, you know, gave them more benefits, I gave them more shot, them more bail than they should have been shot, and it was fucked up on me in the end because, like, I went this long without stopping what was going on when I saw the signs in my face yeah, and realizing who your partner is, because you know how they say.
Chrissy A.:You tend to date the same person over and over again because you don't learn a lesson from the past relationship. But sometimes I think we confuse it because we have these like things that people say what I just said, those little sayings, and they confuse us to think like, oh well, this is probably the same shit I went through in a past relationship. But no, it's a different person, it's a different vibe. You can now approach the situation different. Like you just said, I know when my spidey senses are tingling.
Chrissy A.:Now I'm finna open this line of communication and have this conversation with you, a healthy conversation with you, not an accusation type of conversation, because it is hard to trust when you lost trust, even if it's with a new person. And you start to see, because it can be as simple as going outside, like how I was outside all day. You know. Like you didn't blow me up, you know what I'm saying. Like it can be something as simple as that and you just, really just enjoying life. It's like who you enjoying life with if it ain't me. You know what I mean.
Sir Anthony:I get those people when I say people, us as people have those insecurities, but I'm just like I'm not at that level yet, so I'm like go do your thing, have fun baby, you got this, um, this chill that I've never experienced before from a man that actually cares to turn off your care.
Chrissy A.:That's the wrong way to say it. I'm not going to say that.
Sir Anthony:Like you confused me, huh.
Chrissy A.:It's like you have a fuck it mentality, like when we have our issues and we have our arguments or disagreements, like I was telling the therapist is, and I was like I'll be like all in my head and messed up in the other room and he just be laughing, just laughing at the tv and I'll be like what the fuck is so funny? I'm over here miserable and you dying laughing.
Sir Anthony:And you want me to be miserable with you.
Chrissy A.:But I don't want you to be miserable. I actually admire that you're like that, like there's a sense of I'm going to stick with my word admiration. There's a sense of admiration there because, I tell you, by you being the leader of our relationship, well, in relationships, you start to mimic the other person, so you have qualities and traits that I don't possess and because of that, I'm learning from you. I'm watching you and I'm learning from you and, unintentionally, I start to prohibit those same behaviors, because I'm watching the man that's leading our household and it does make sense to not like drag it, like I still have chrissy there, like chrissy still exists. But then I have hints of you where it's just like. You know, just don't blow this up right now, we'll talk about it when it's time to talk about it. Yeah, yeah, there's a time and place for everything. Yeah, and I this is just how I'll be feeling. Like you know, just don't blow this up right now, we'll talk about it when it's time to talk about it, yeah, yeah.
Sir Anthony:There's a time and place for everything, and this is just how I'll be feeling. I'm very simple. So this principle, this is going to explain that and then moving forward. Very simple I care about what I care about and I don't care about what I don't care about.
Chrissy A.:Okay.
Sir Anthony:I care about and I don't care about what I don't care about. Okay, so if it's something you've seen some things where I'd be like, where you would think I would care if I don't, then I'm not gonna put the effort there. When it's unimportant, but when it's important, you'll see a change and, you know, perk up or you know, and if you just kind of see those waves of those vibes, you can be like okay, like some things that you know, if it's water under the bridge, I can't do nothing about it. I'm. And if you just kind of see those waves or those vibes, you can be like, okay, like some things that you know, if it's water under the bridge, I can't do nothing about it, I'm going to just chuck it up.
Chrissy A.:But if it's something to care about, then you're going to see my attitude. Can you give me like an example oh, that's a good question Like what do you care about? What would be something to care about?
Sir Anthony:And what's something like yeah, water under the bridge.
Chrissy A.:You know I'm a family oriented person and then you will like call me and ask can so and so come over, can we?
Sir Anthony:I don't care about yeah, come on. Okay, stuff like that. If you I'm at the point where you don't have to ask, I mean, as long as I'm not here in my drawers you walk in like, give me a heads up, yeah, somebody coming in with you, that kind of thing. But I don't care who you invite on, because I'm pretty sure you're going to invite somebody who's going to. This ain't going to be a danger. They're going to be somebody that's going to be with a friends or family.
Sir Anthony:I don't care about this stuff because of my household, my past that I grew up in. We was, you see it, it's so inviting. So we don't really we do care about who's around us. As long as their energy is right, it's not any reckless person going to be around us. You're not going to bring no violence. You're not going to disrupt this love that we have. If you can come into this space of love and peace and fun and happiness, by all means come on. So, like I get it from your perspective, like baby, can so-and-so come over, can we do?
Chrissy A.:I don't care. Yeah, come on. You know sometimes you might be tired or you. Sometimes you just don't feel like company. You know I'm saying so. It's always that. Good for that heads up I get you on that.
Sir Anthony:I get you on that. Yeah, just don't catch me in my drawers. Somebody walking in you. You might see a surprise.
Chrissy A.:Oh, you got the card. Oh, lord, no, I be swinging.
Sir Anthony:Which one I'm speaking to, that one or?
Chrissy A.:us? How can we support each other's self-improvement?
Sir Anthony:I think we're doing it in several facets already, like with this podcast, um, with the businesses that we work on a daily basis and then the therapy that we need. So I think we're doing that. So maybe I should like think about that from a perspective of because I think we're a couple steps ahead of the game in that respect what if we're not doing all this? Who's having a couples podcast to help them talk out their issues? Black people don't go to therapy in general. We're just starting to embrace that. If we're coming from a space without this podcast, without the therapy, I'm going to answer from that perspective. I guess it's got to be the cliche of the communication thing and then the shameless plug of cards like these to help you open it. Because a question like that I don't think either one of us would have ever just sat down, whether in good times or dinner or whatever, and I'll just come up with a question like that to ask and answer.
Chrissy A.:I would have. You would have, yes really I wouldn't have. I'll be honest why you think these cards exist.
Sir Anthony:I'm just the average woman out there yeah, no facts, because I remember.
Chrissy A.:I remember when, before I created these cards, there were other cards that I utilized for dating purposes and it was like um other women shaded the cards oh, I got you, I feel you and it was just like you use cards on your, you take cards on your date, yeah, and guys loved it.
Chrissy A.:Guys loved it for the purpose of. Sometimes, when you first dating, it's like the, the typical questions that you asking, and it's like what happens after that and it just seems so cliche and it starts to feel like every day is exactly the same and we're getting nowhere other than the fact that we're attracted to each other. Like you telling me what car you drive, what you do for a living. It's not telling me about you, your core values and things of that sort and how you act in certain scenarios. So I'm not really getting to know the person that I want, that I can consider a lifelong commitment with. So then you fall into this space of okay, I know, I know he fine, it's hell. I love the way he smells. He smells real good, you know, and all those sets off, those senses and those nerve endings that lead to sex, and then when you have sex, you don't hear from this nigga, no more. Or even the other way around, because women is women out there, like that too, that will have sex with you and be like, yeah, I'm good, you know what I'm saying like we not gonna act, like we ain't in a century where that exists heavily now. So, um, I feel like that there there are.
Chrissy A.:These cards are necessary if because most I know our audience is mostly women I would say get these. If you're dating, not particularly these cards, but if you want these cards, that's fine too. But if you're dating um, actively dating and trying to figure out, and you're looking for lifelong commitment, purchase our um intention starter cards. Because, yeah, the black deck, because it's like guys, when I was dating, guys love that they don't have to come up with something out. And I know I know, I know I know y'all probably thinking like, well, they should know what to talk about. But sometimes people are nervous, sometimes people don't know what to say and we in such a sensitive world where it's hard to communicate with people that you don't know, you don't know how they're going to respond, you don't know how they're going to feel about the questions that you asked.
Sir Anthony:So if there's pre-prepared questions, it makes life easier you know what I've heard and we need to get this on the show. We probably have it in one of the other clips, but most times when people use these cards like really use them they so engaged with them you only get through with like three questions out of 50 something cards yeah, so just imagine that you can keep.
Sir Anthony:This ain't a one-time thing, this ain't a first date thing. Keep doing this on date night, whatever. Just bust out the cards and then get to know your mate or your partner at a little deeper level of questions that, like you, probably wouldn't have thought about. But my baby, she thought about all of it Period you want to move on. Yeah, oh, it's your turn.
Chrissy A.:It's my turn to do it, okay.
Sir Anthony:Do you believe in asking a father for permission to marry his daughter? Yes, If he's around, God bless your father's soul. But he's not around. If he were, I would ask. For me that's a no-brainer, but we got to look at it from the respect of this new audience.
Chrissy A.:It's not a thing anymore.
Sir Anthony:Yeah. You okay, over there.
Chrissy A.:No, yeah, yeah, I forgot. I even created that card Because it's like Sigh. It's an important card, though, because, like it shows the level of care and respect that you have for a woman and the father that raised her. You know to be able to be like no to go to him, like I want to marry your daughter, but I don't want to do it without you know, you giving me your blessings every in regards to biblical days. That's what they did. You couldn't get to the daughter without, without going through her father. So it speaks on a sense where you still connected with God in a sort, in a way sort of um like, in a way sort of um, like yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sir Anthony:So you, you y ends like eventually y'all gonna get it together. This is what I noticed, even though each generation we always say this generation I'm worried about them like our parents was worried about us because we were couch potatoes, we watched tv, we played video games and they thought we was going to be the worst generation. And now I'm looking at this social media generation like, oh my god, they're gonna be. Y'all gonna be all right yeah, because in time.
Chrissy A.:In reality, this social media generation. I love how they speak up for themselves, I love how outspoken they are and they don't let people just push them over but then, like, a lot of them are lazy, you know, because it's like everybody want to be instagram, tiktok, famous and all of that, so there's no drive to do other things, but then again, they're also entrepreneurial spirited, but they just need that guidance. You know what I mean. So, just like you said, every era there's going to be the older people saying all this generation, this generation. But it's always something that's so beautiful about the generation coming up and we have to, like, grab on onto that and help them through that and I think the key piece of it is like it take.
Sir Anthony:It takes other generations longer to learn the lessons. It's gonna be faster for them yeah and then the generation after them, faster for them, before you get it. When I say get it, like this thing called life, um, it encompasses everything in it, so but stop being so foolish early on, like there's some things y'all can listen to pull your pants up. Definitely, pull your pants up y'all know where that came from. I'm pretty sure y'all know. Look it up from prison. You're signaling that you want something in your butt. Pull Quit your pants up.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, it's very unattractive, like I mean some girls like it though.
Sir Anthony:I mean.
Chrissy A.:I think boys might like it even more If you know what I mean Moving along. I tried to get you to get that one.
Sir Anthony:Should you alter your social media image if it makes your partner feel uncomfortable? Um, I've done that. I've done that in the past, meaning restricting my personality, because I was dealing with somebody with insecurities. And if they see, ok, not only do he look good, you know he's doing things that look good and he has a great personality, because we both know Well a lot of people know that personality can trump looks in most cases and so with women, women with women.
Sir Anthony:So if a woman is looking and they see this guy, he's got a. He's got a great personality. I'm about to slide in his dm, so I will restrict my personality just to, uh, not have that issue of having to argue about this and that and who's in my dms, and it's like well, somebody gonna slide your dms.
Sir Anthony:They gonna slide in your dms, like because I'm pretty sure who you're talking about slitting your dms, yeah I think that was really what it was is one of those cases of trying to prevent what you was doing, trying to prevent the karma yeah and one thing I learned about karma oh, it's gonna come back, yeah, it's gonna come back, fierce and when you least expect it. So don't do it, so it don't be done onto you, is my advice.
Chrissy A.:I've had a guy tell me that I was too exposed on my social media. Mind you, we was not together, we hadn't even went on a first date. I met him online.
Sir Anthony:He ain't got no right to say nothing.
Chrissy A.:But he told me that if I don't change the photos on my social media, that guys are going to only try to talk to me to have sex with me. However, even though we could say, well, you ain't my man, woo, woo, woo. I took heed to what he said and I'm just like you know what. I do get a lot of attention from guys that I feel like it's not the attention that I want. So I did alter my social media. It wasn't because for him, it was for me, because it didn't align with what I wanted out of a relationship, out of partnership. So in that sense, it did make sense.
Sir Anthony:Yeah, it do make sense. So I feel him on that, but he came about it a little early, but he was strong enough to say something like this and a lot of these women maybe you need that kind of advice, you thinking that showing your ass have y'all ever thought about when y'all become grandmothers in your 50s, 60s, how embarrassed your grandkid, great grandkid going to be, even your kids, when you look up you 50, 60, they, they, homeboys, can go on the gram or whatever platform gonna be out then and see your ass, like your whole ass and your pussy from an app they ass and pussy, not out like that some of them they pussy is out like you see that.
Sir Anthony:Have it out. You can see the print on certain social media you can see nipple prints and pussy prints and all that stuff in reality, like we was talking about the era we live in.
Chrissy A.:I don't think people have those thought processes of what they grandkids gonna see, because in reality they might be like, oh, your grandma was a was a cougar, she was a milf. Like that's the attention that they gonna get. You know what I mean. But at the end of the day, I do feel like that, depending on what it is that they're looking for like your social media is yours, so if you showing your ass that all of that is what you want, just know the attention that you're going to attract from it, like you're not to find some wholesome God fearing man that's going to say, oh, I want to wife you up and make you a God fearing woman. You know, unless huh.
Sir Anthony:Continue, cause that has happened. Hell when we was just talking about making good, her divine Franklin making good.
Chrissy A.:It wasn't a uh uh she ain't no hoe.
Sir Anthony:Right making you ain't no hoe that's a different scenario.
Chrissy A.:I'm talking about women who enjoy parading around showing their ass, and it's not necessarily for a man all the time. Some women do it because that's where they find their confidence at, and if that's for them, that's for them. Some women probably don't even want a relationship or a long term commitment. Like I, had to come to realization that those women exist, like in real life. I'm not one of those women, but we're not going to ignore it like they don't exist, you know so everybody, not for everybody that's true no, I also asked you to alter your social media.
Sir Anthony:What you ask me to alter.
Chrissy A.:Because you still had your ex photo on your page.
Sir Anthony:Oh, that was no problem to take that stuff off.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, it was a process, though.
Sir Anthony:It was a process, but it wasn't a problem, other than just having like me out there with my gray jogging pants on and just like this, just showing the print no, no, it was.
Chrissy A.:It was a thing for me at that time because social it don't have to necessarily be the clothes you women wearing.
Chrissy A.:I guess that's why I'm bringing it up, because altering your social media doesn't mean like all the time it it's something that you're exposed wearing or your personality that you're showing.
Chrissy A.:On your end, it could be something that could be affecting the other person emotionally or, you know, mentally, and it wasn't about insecurity. It's just like you're in a new beginning, like all the old stuff shouldn't even be, especially since it caused you a certain level of trauma and we still healing from that trauma, like we shouldn't even have access to that, to seeing that all the time. Yeah, and I think, um, I was talking to somebody about it before and it was like, well, those are their memories and I'm like I get that, but a picture of you and your ex, it ain't like y'all in front of the eiffel tower, it ain't like you're trying to keep the picture because of a historic landmark, or you know what I'm saying like it's just you and your ex posing in the camera. So it's like no, if you want to remember that, that means you still want it, because while we remember I got a question with with that we're gonna solve this on the show live.
Sir Anthony:Um, so it's one picture. I think I did keep up that only because it's with some of my favorite rappers Shout out to Sky Zoo, shout out to Fillmore Green, but I'm like we posing in the picture with those guys and that's still there.
Chrissy A.:I think you told me that.
Sir Anthony:I'm asking again Do you want me to delete it or not?
Chrissy A.:I mean, for me it's like me seeing her isn't a problem. Me, me seeing y'all hooked up together is the problem, because it's like if all my friends have your social media channel and it's me and you at the top, people be scrolling. And then they scroll down and a little bit after me and you, it's you and her in the same way that me and you are. It's like oh, he got two bitches.
Sir Anthony:Like no, we're not doing that, but the receipts say like old shit.
Chrissy A.:No, we're not doing that.
Sir Anthony:No, I'm asking about that Like I'm with a couple of my favorite rappers, producers.
Chrissy A.:Now people are going to scroll and try to find the picture just to see what your ex look like you know that right.
Sir Anthony:It is what it is.
Chrissy A.:So now they finna, find your ex. They probably is gonna try.
Sir Anthony:I've been talking about this on the show since we started. They probably you had no clues, though.
Chrissy A.:You know how social media is.
Sir Anthony:If I'm watching the show and I'm talking about this and I see they socials, then I'm gonna try to scroll it. If I'm messy and nosy, okay, you watch them reality TV shows.
Chrissy A.:You know exactly what they do.
Sir Anthony:Okay, want to cut this piece out, mm-hmm, no, I don't care you ready. Wait, it's my turn, ain't it, is it yeah. When we have different opinions, what's a good way for us to find common ground? We do that a lot. That's what's going on in this situation.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, that's what I got Entire relationship honestly. So give the people some advice going on in this situation. That's like our entire relationship honestly so give the people some advice um, having differences of opinions.
Chrissy A.:I feel like the way that we get around it is like, in reality, this is my thought process, right? People say agree to disagree, right. However, some things isn't agreed to disagree because they cause for action. So it's like if I think that we should go left and you think we should go right, somebody got gotta give in and either just say, fuck it, you right, you know what I'm saying. And with that thought process, it's like I don't have to, I don't have to be the victor of every conversation that we have. Like sometimes I do give it to you, sometimes I give it to you, sometimes I give it to you, sometimes I give it to you, sometimes I give it to you.
Chrissy A.:Sometimes I become the apologetic one that say I'm sorry because of X, y and Z, and it's like Sometimes it can be exhausting, but it's necessary and I'm learning. I'm learning slowly but surely to pick my battles. Like it's a lot of things that I don't agree, that you would say and I'd be like it ain't even worth it, it ain't worth it and it ain't even just with you. It's in all my relationships, my friendships, like when we was hanging out yesterday, oh, I picked my battles a lot yesterday and sometimes you gotta learn. Just shut your mouth like everything that you feel don't need to be said this is true yeah, so yeah, another card, yeah, another card.
Chrissy A.:It's my pick.
Sir Anthony:No, I got a pick.
Chrissy A.:You just picked that.
Sir Anthony:What you been drinking Give me some of that.
Chrissy A.:It's so funny because he's going to go along with this. No, wait a minute, he's going to go along with this. That y'all experienced. I'm so glad this is being recorded. Y'all experienced in real time how this works. He literally just picked that card, read it, hand it to me and I said it over here when you editing this, rewind it back and show them you got it.
Sir Anthony:You got it this time, but there's times where that be happening on your side.
Chrissy A.:Yes, I'm 100% believable that that happens.
Sir Anthony:We got this on camera.
Chrissy A.:However, we don't have me doing it on camera.
Sir Anthony:But we gonna get it.
Chrissy A.:Let's do a different one Nope. Nope, can we do a different one? Nope, can we do a different one? I want something that's going to like really spark. I'm kind of going to do the intentions. That was the same card.
Sir Anthony:That we just did yeah.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, what's one dream you have for our future?
Sir Anthony:to travel the world and discover new things and meet new people and be billionaires, not billionaires wealthy. I'd rather that wealth is better than a monetary value, because wealth can be anything. Wealth can be your health, wealth can be anything. Wealth can be your health, wealth can be your happiness, or it can be monetary, to the point where you don't have to worry about the rat race.
Chrissy A.:Would you be okay if we didn't become really, really wealthy?
Sir Anthony:in the sense a monetarily now? Are we struggling? Are we back in the rat race or are we at this plateau that we are now? Because I don't want to stay in this. It's a. It's a nice plateau. It's disposable income, but I've been hitting my head on this glass ceiling for the last almost 10 years and I'm tired of. I got a lot of bruises up there. I want to get past that bump in my head, so I guess I'm asking what's the threshold?
Chrissy A.:Well, I'm just saying like do you feel like I would be enough?
Sir Anthony:Monetarily.
Chrissy A.:I'm just saying like period, because we can have dreams that we'll be chasing and chasing it and they won't come true. Like for me, I would love for this podcast to do millions and billions and trillions of numbers and a lot of people get invested into it and we create an audience that wants our advice now. But in my mind I want it to be huge. I want to touch people all over the world. You know, and it's like if I never get that, would I still feel complete and happy, would not have a question to yourself but I'm asking you if we never get it, are we actively chasing it?
Sir Anthony:yeah and and investing and putting our all into it. Now I do believe because I've started multiple businesses over my lifetime, so I know I've been in businesses where pouring into them, and then this really is like they say like five years later, then boom profitability or whatever that that you're going after that happens.
Sir Anthony:I've been in some businesses where early on is profitable. You make some not so smart decisions because you're banking off of like. It's like with the rappers that come out with a one-hit wonder, like they got it. They demand now they've seen everywhere and then when it's time to put out another song, they fall off like what happened to so-and-so.
Sir Anthony:What happened to so-and-so? Because you were given the gift too early, you didn't appreciate or learn the appreciation along the journey. So when you got it, to make it sustainable and longevity. So I understand those dynamics of it. But, um, as long as I will feel good about it because I've done this in the past where I've put my all into something and it just didn't work out you just have to let that go by the wayside. Yeah, I'm OK with that. However, I have this gut. You know you had that feeling that.
Chrissy A.:It's going to happen.
Sir Anthony:It's going to happen and this is what I really think might have to cut this out the show. I do get distracted on other things instead of focusing on my core calling, because I'm a person that likes to help other people, so I'm helping everybody up along with me if I just be selfish for one moment and just focus on my thing, get through that and then come back and help everybody else. I think that that's the the test that I'm like constantly feeling, because I'm like I'm gonna bring everybody with me and, like my one of my favorite rappers say everybody can't go.
Chrissy A.:Shout out to Benny yeah, what's your core calling?
Sir Anthony:to give back.
Chrissy A.:It's some, but you said like you want to focus on what you want to do with the marketing company.
Sir Anthony:So at every point it's like I get to the point where it's profitable, it's doing it's thing, but I'm like, okay, let me sit, since that's on autopilot, it's going to do it's thing. Then let me focus on some other things and bring that up along with me. If I just stop and focus. That's kind of what I was doing over this weekend. It's like a new service needs to be introduced the social media service.
Chrissy A.:Yeah.
Sir Anthony:And it's time to put some effort into that, like how I put into every single one of my clients. I feel that this is how I really feel about my business at times. Like the mechanic, you will see a mechanic that can do cold work on your car, fix your stuff, all fine, but he had a raggedy car. Why? Because he's so focused on making everybody else stuff right he don't have the time to put into his own car and so Do you feel like pouring into what my dream is kind of affects that too?
Sir Anthony:in a sense okay, um, because it's also my dream too. So it's like we're building this together. I'm pouring all of my videography and editing and marketing prowess into this. So it's like this is my baby too, but I don't want to just like put this on pause and then go. But then again I'm like, okay, if I just went, focus only on the marketing company and then we circle back around to this, we can do this in an effective way. Like how we do, we shoot a bunch of podcasts and we're ready for the next things, but not like how we've been doing lately, like it's been like a lot of concentration into this, but it's a good concentration yeah, okay you make you feel some kind of way a little.
Chrissy A.:It's not a feel, some type way like because you, expressing it to me that I feel like upset or anything, it make me feel like um, it makes me feel like that I should, because I have. I haven't been as invested into the podcast as I was and it's because I do feel that from you, like I feel like you, you would rather just focus on what you got going on, so I haven't been posting on social media as much you know, and editing our videos, because now I feel like I have to basically pour into what you're doing. You know what I mean, like I. I mean Like I have to do that part. I have to be that person now.
Sir Anthony:Why you can't balance.
Chrissy A.:Um, because sometimes it's draining.
Sir Anthony:Which one is draining, the marketing company or this or both.
Chrissy A.:Your marketing company.
Sir Anthony:Is draining.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, your clients are draining as fuck. I appreciate them, you know, for the business. But it could be, it could be a lot because it's like that's, that's like your dream and like when you doing your dream it doesn't feel as like much work as doing somebody else's stream. Like doing this might feel like a lot of work to you, like when how, I always be like let's shoot a podcast, like to me that's fun, and you just like no, no, I had the conversation that I want to talk. I want us to do like talk and whatever outside of the podcast about things you was like, but we do that on the podcast, like we got, we got to do that to work. So now you thinking that talking or communicating about certain things is work because of this podcast. So it makes me feel like damn, like you know, I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, we'll talk about it here, yeah whose turn I lost track.
Sir Anthony:I don't know how do you cope when you feel you're overwhelmed?
Chrissy A.:oh lord, I don't know how do you cope when you feel you're overwhelmed. Oh Lord, I feel like I just talked about being overwhelmed. Honestly, I just keep pushing, I just keep pushing, I just keep pushing through it. Like it's a lot of things that cause me to be a little overwhelmed. Sometimes you gotta like take a break, like take a beat and just be like you know, I gotta set this aside for a minute and then I watch everybody else problems on reality TV, laughing, but um, and then I watch everybody else's problems on reality TV. But, yeah, sometimes you just deal with it.
Chrissy A.:I would say the poster board answer. The perfect answer would be pray and then meditate about it. But honestly, recently, recently, I haven't been doing that. I do feel like I I need to get back in tune with doing that, because it does help a lot. Um, and I, I don't pray as much as I used to, I don't meditate as much as I used to, which is why I probably feel more overwhelmed than I normally do. Still pray, still meditate. It's just for shorter periods of time than how it used to be.
Chrissy A.:So it's crazy, because we don't like to talk about it, but relationships take a lot out of somebody. We don't like to talk about it, but relationships take a lot out of somebody. Like it changes who you are if you don't stand firm in who you are, and it's like the change could be good and sometimes it can be draining, sometimes it could be unhealthy to the relationship. Before you, I was going to poetry every week. You know I was writing a lot before and it's not to say it's your fault, it's it's completely me. You know what I mean.
Chrissy A.:Um, I feel like I pour a lot into our relationship that I don't pour into the thing some of the things that I used to love to do so much, even with exercising, going to the gym three to four times a week or, um, stretching for my flexibility to happen, like I feel like I feel like I kind of like put those things on the back burner and it's just like more so. Oh, I got a man. I love this man, I want to be under this man. I'm gonna cook for this man, I'm gonna make sure the things that you know make sure he feels at peace in his home because he invited me here. So it's like, oh, you got clean, you got to make sure this is. You know, that's what my mind does. It doesn't do. Let's write a poem, let's release some of this energy. It doesn't do that right now. So, like the past week, I've been out a lot with my friends because it makes me feel like I'm getting a sense of myself, the the self I was before you, if that makes sense.
Sir Anthony:It's all about balance. And then for me I believe in seasons. So, and I know my seasons and cycles. So, like I told you, like we used to work out together in the summer, but that was the season, but that was the season. So right now, this is for me every December, january is the dip in business, but then everybody has their New Year's resolutions. They want to come back and do everything bigger and better. So I start getting clients around this time. So right now I head in the dirt like an ostrich and start to do all of the work, so then around spring can reap the fruits of those. So I know my season. So the workout seasons for me don't start back to going hard spring to summer, and I know that doesn't work.
Chrissy A.:So we're just getting fat all winter Me, not him, because he doesn't gain any weight.
Sir Anthony:And I know my body and my metabolism. It's like what comes in my body's just going to work on it instantly. Yeah, and use it for fuel or the rest got to go.
Chrissy A.:But even in that sense, like your cycle is your cycle and mine is mine, so it's like, even though that's how your process worked, I was working out and you didn't even exist in my life. So I technically don't need you to work out. My mind just needs to go back to just because you in a relationship doesn't mean that you're not an individual, and I I've been struggling with that and recently coming back into that, because you see, now I just get up and I start stretching now and I do my own thing. And I went out with Elena one day, the next day I was with E and then the next day we stayed at dance practice. You know what I'm saying. So I'm slowly creating my individual ism that's a word, right. So I'm slowly creating my individualism that's a word, right. It feel like it is.
Sir Anthony:It is.
Chrissy A.:I feel like it's a word. Yeah, I'm getting back to that. So, yeah, don't lose yourself in your relationships, because we tend to do that. We tend to lose who we are. And it's not to say that your relationship is like bad, like you don't have to be in an abusive, messed up relationship to lose yourself. Sometimes we start to depend without knowing. We start to depend on the other person all the time, like, oh, I want to go to the store, can you go to the store with me? And then it's just like you wasn't here when I was going to the store by myself. I'm good, but I'm definitely gonna call your ass until you come get these groceries out the car. That's the benefit of the partnership.
Chrissy A.:okay, we find the benefits of partnership and we make that work well said so I did want to talk about one more topic before we like close out and know it doesn't have anything to do with the beyond dating cards, which you guys should definitely go purchase because that was light work. That wasn't the work that make you sweat. Some of these cards in here gonna make you sweat don't tell them that then they won't buy it.
Sir Anthony:No that you need to make these niggas sweat for my guys and see for my guys, if I gotta answer these questions that's gonna put the beads on my head they might make the women sweat too.
Chrissy A.:Your intentions, but it's better to get to those questions in the dating phase rather than get in it in the after the honeymoon phase.
Sir Anthony:Speaking of you, don't want to go on a date and then you realize that sister girl only got one hand I'm not gonna play with you she was bogus, though she should have told the man like you know, I just have a little something, I'm fine, but I just got a little something going on. Are we still? Is that something that you can look past, or is this a deal breaker? And let that man be honest like nah, sister, I can't do that. Like well, he be like you know what. I don't care.
Chrissy A.:Come on, let's go out, he could have eventually bought her a new hand, a prosthetic I think she knows more about those programs to get a prosthetic than him anyways.
Chrissy A.:Um, speaking of honeymoon phase, when you are exiting the honeymoon phase, there's like a certain drop in the relationship that happens when you get into the comfortability stage. They feel like dating isn't as important as it used to be, or it's not that it isn't important, it's just like I got you now. So I think that thing happened. So I want to talk a little bit about the importance of continuing to date while you're in a relationship, even after the honeymoon phase I'm gonna answer two ways because I'm biased.
Sir Anthony:And then I gotta like, erase my bias and answer it like how you know, somebody want to connect in the audience. So for me, I don't believe in. You got to stop courting your woman throughout. So like that's the fun part of all of this. So like, if you notice what we do, like we go out, whether it be you know, whether it be a little lounge or club or whatever, or it just be couples thing, or it just be like I own the thing, or even if it's just like karaoke, whatever capacity it is, whether it's packed in there or it's just us in there, like I. Like that, that's the fun part about being what you want. When you want to go out, get dressed up, eat, have a good time and that's like a, that's a normal part of my. If I don't do that as much, then I start to feel like, damn, that's just me, that's the bias part of it.
Sir Anthony:But there's some people that are like, okay, I did all of this in the beginning to get a. Like now it's time to Netflix and chill. Or like, well, we got to do all of that. Like bro, listen to me, from brother to brother, you gonna have to keep courting your woman like because if you don't you run the risk of that complacency and then she'd be like damn she. It's almost like your representative came out after the fact. This is the person who you are and if that's who you are, you should have came in a door that way.
Sir Anthony:To be honest, if you're not a person that's going to go out and court her, buy her nice things, take her shopping, that kind of thing, don't try to do that to get her Be who you are in the beginning. If that ain't good enough, then that means y'all not aligned. And if that ain't good enough, then that mean y'all not aligned. But if you see that as something like okay, this is a wake-up call, like I came in the door doing this, then perhaps I should keep doing this. It ain't got to be probably as often as you were going through the door, but you're going to have to keep some kind of cadence with that, because she'll see that She'll complain about that. And if you're bucking like man, she tripping she, she'll see that She'll complain about that. And if you're bucking like man, she tripping, she always want to do X, y, she might open the door to that nigga in the DMs that's willing to take her to these places, and better than that. Actually, we'll be willing to do that, and that's my advice to you, brother.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, there should be a distinction between what is dating and what's not in a relationship Because, like, everything you said was like real, like, yeah, we go to the bar, we go to karaoke, we do those things. We would go get something to eat, you know, sit down and eat a lot. We don't do fun stuff, you know we have but you did.
Sir Anthony:They have been in your book fewer and far between. I know what you're getting at. We ain't been to that vr room yet no, check it out, ladies.
Chrissy A.:This is what I've been doing every time. I see, I've been telling him I've been wanting to go do vr. I'm like a nerdy type of girl, so I like to do like fun, fun things. I like laser tag, I like video games, like I'm like that type of girl so I'm like I want to go to VR, I want to go do this at VR. And he's like, okay, and I feel like he hears me, but I that that I would have to make it happen for it to happen and not saying that I have to pay for it.
Chrissy A.:I have to grab your card, schedule it for it to happen for us to actively go on.
Sir Anthony:That's not the case.
Chrissy A.:Every it's been bad timing hold on because it's like bad timing is crazy the last time we was trying to go, it was booked up.
Sir Anthony:Because of what holiday?
Chrissy A.:it was my birthday and what was?
Sir Anthony:what's your?
Chrissy A.:but. But we could have been did it though that's true but wait a minute. So I, every time I saw a video of vr, I would share it and send it to his phone, nudge nudge we need to go to do this vr thing because I really want to go and I I believe that we're gonna go.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, I feel like we would have went sooner if I would have paid for it to happen with your card, I feel like. But I refuse to do that because I want to feel, like you said, courted. I want to feel like that you planned the date and you see what I'm saying, fellas?
Sir Anthony:I'm slacking and lacking over here, so I'm going to check our DMs. So if that little goofy nigga going to our DMs like I take you to the DI shop, baby, I'm going to respond back to his ass. So, like I got to step it up. This is what I'm talking about. Step it up, fellas, because I'm slacking, so you slacking and we slacking together, so get our shit together.
Chrissy A.:So, yeah, period. So the importance of dating, even after the honeymoon phase. It builds a level of intimacy and a connection. Like our therapist asks, how do you guys connect with each other? You know I'm saying it builds that level of connection. It puts you in a a space like if you're doing something fun or that the other person likes to do, you can actually have tough conversations in that space because it's like now we're more relaxed, our brain is like more relaxed and now we can have those conversations that if we was cooped up in the house irritated by each other, it will go a completely different way. You know what I mean.
Chrissy A.:So there are very, a lot of different benefits of continuing to date, even outside of just because you want to date it. It builds that strong bond between you and your partner. It it helps you to get to know each other on different levels of life and life's experiences, like I definitely want to do escape room with you and I like doing escape room because you see how people's minds work. You know, like if you was in this situation where the time was running out and this is the question I was asked, what are you going to think, you know, or what are you going to grab? What are you going to do? So, like, I'm excited to go this, these adventurous dating journeys with you, like yeah, we've done the bar, we've done restaurants, we've done typical dating experiences, but when it gets to Chrissy's dating world and then, like we always date with your family, they are homies yeah, but you know it's cool today without them I'm sending this video to you.
Chrissy A.:To them, they blacklisting I would really actually love to do like the vr with your family in the um escape room with your family and stuff like that. Like that would be cool, be cool. But like let's, do you've seen Ghost, the movie Ghost, where they mold in the clay? They got the downtown.
Sir Anthony:We can do that together you know it's one of them, beverly, too.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, see, we can do stuff like that together and that could be just me and you type thing where we bond with just us, gotcha, yeah, me and you type thing where we bond with just us.
Sir Anthony:Gotcha, yeah, gotcha, do you have any closing remarks? Or, fellas, step your game up, or else, that's all I got to say or else it really is, or else because what's gonna happen? There's a process with this. You'll keep throwing nudges and then you'll complain. And then, when she stops complaining, oh, that's when you worry. That's when it's time to worry. We so stupid that we don't even know, like, oh, I can't believe she's not complaining no more, but she already checked out and out the door.
Chrissy A.:Yeah, I mean because in reality, I can do. I can just grab your card and do these things with my friends, but I'd rather do them with you. You know, like I really want to build that level of intimacy with you. So, yeah, I would really love for the people that do watch this and watch it all the way through like, give us some topics that you want to hear us talk about. Like, even if you don't want to go on the website, I will recommend that you guys go on the website to our X pure intentions page and put submit something that you want us to give you advice on. Like, I absolutely love giving advice all day. I love giving advice. My friends call me for advice. I call them for advice. Like, we are a community that need each other, so lean on us for advice. Um, also, if you want, if you're watching this on youtube, comment down below of topics that you want to hear us talk about. That you feel like is somewhere where we can give advice for intentional relationships. Yeah, that's all I have today.
Sir Anthony:Until next time.
Chrissy A.:Period. Thank you for watching.