Winning in Life Both On & Off The Field

Join Dr. Pete and Kari DiGiulio -- a highly accomplished Athletic Director at La Costa Canyon High School in Carlsbad, California as they discuss the highs and lows of sports and evertyhing in between both on and off the field. Kari has more than 26 years of experience in education, overseeing 27 + varsity-level sports. She is a multiple-time San Diego Athletic Director of the Year and CIF Coach of the Year managing all aspects of athletics on campus while also coaching the varsity field hockey team. And if that weren’t impressive enough, she’s also a mom of FOUR, with two children currently competing as college athletes at Cal Berkeley & Concordia University. We are thrilled to welcome Kari to the show. 

Learn more about Kari and her programs here: 

https://www.instagram.com/girll_pwr_/

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Carrie

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Hello and welcome back to On Air with Dr. Pete. I'm your host, Dr. Pete Economo, and I'm excited to have another guest, another great episode. And if you've been listening, you know that I have a major focus both uh on athletics as well as mindfulness and well-being. Uh, as a former color college athlete myself, uh, you know, and now a sports psychologist, it centers on the highs and lows and everything in between. So I'm excited to introduce you to Carrie Di Giulio, a highly accomplished athletic director at the La Costa Cannon High School in Carlsbad, California. Hey, West Coast, with more than 26 years of experience in education, over uh overseeing 27 varsity level sports, uh multiple time San Diego Athletic Director of the Year, CIF coach of the year, and she manages all aspects of athletics on campus while also coaching a field hockey team. I don't know how you do all that. So if that was impressive enough, she's also a mom of four and two children currently competing in college athletics at Cal Berkeley and Concordia. So welcome, Carrie.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Thank you. Thanks for having me. That sounded more impressive than it really is, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

That's so not the case, but that's probably how we all feel when we hear things, because we just I don't know. Do you not like hearing about your accolades and your accomplishments?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

It just seems really like long, like 26 years, like I'm ready for the end. You know, like wow, this is really she's invested, but it is I guess it sounds just doing my job, but um, that was very nice. That was a nice intro.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

You're just doing your job, but it's uh it's a tough job, that's for sure. Uh I know uh administration in general, but administration today in in athletics is is not easy.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

No, it's not. I I mean I equate it to we're working with everybody's MVP, right? At the high school level, every every kid is a parent's MVP, and I understand that. Having um four kids myself, I I get it, but it it is uh But you know all your kids are not MVPs. I well absolutely no, absolutely they are not. I may consider them my own MVP, but I know they're not in the in the world of athletics, the MVP, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

But it is the world that we live in for sure. Are you still competitive today?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Um, I don't compete in anything other than life uh myself, but I think uh being a former college athlete, I know you had said that too. I feel like I live like life is a competition. Just I think it's ingrained in what I do.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Yeah. Yeah. Was it field hockey? Is that what you played?

SPEAKER_01 2:45

I did. I played field hockey at uh Central Michigan University. I was a Chippewa.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

We're about to compete against them in gymnastics.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Central Michigan.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

They were always really good. Yeah, they were very good in gymnastics.

Field Hockey Roots And Family Ties

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Yeah, they still are. It's for regionals for NCAA tournament. But um, I asked so two things. One about competition because field hockey is so funny because I one of my staff members is a former coach as well, and I was like, Alyssa, we need to go to a field hockey game so I can watch it with you so you can explain the rules. Because I'm so confused.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

The whistle blows all the time. Nobody knows my mom has watched it for her entire life with me growing up, and now my daughter and still yeah, still doesn't understand what is going on, and that's fine. It is one of those games where the whistle always blows and you can't really figure out the rules. It is very wild. But interestingly enough, my husband, who does strength and conditioning, reached out to Rucker Strength and Conditioning Coach who oversaw field hockey to get a bunch of uh dynamic movements and things like that for our team. So kind of a connection there.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

I hope that person responded.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Uh amazing. She was amazing. No, she was phenomenal, but uh yeah, it was great, just the connection there.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Wonderful. Well, I was at uh the other competition is that uh we have a competition about who's really best friends with Lee.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Oh, well, obviously me, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Yeah, so that's that for anyone that's tuned in before, you know it's the producer of the show. And so yeah, we'll have a competition about that as well.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yeah, she's great. That's a great connection.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

It is a great connection. So um you have her on the West Coast, but I'm the East Coast best friend. Maybe that's what it is.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Yes, we can do that. We can agree to settle for that.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

Yeah, we'll see about that. Anyway, uh, so you were uh a regional all-American at Central Michigan. That's uh, so uh you played field hockey, which is like we already discussed, one of the a very complicated sport. Uh and so how do you feel as a mom and an athletic director, like of a you and you have at least one daughter who's playing field hockey?

Coaching Your Own Kid

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Mm-hmm. So um it's pretty interesting because I grew up um actually my parents were both in education. So I come from an education background. My dad was the athletic director, and he was also served as my coach, very invested in athletics. Um, he served as my softball coach. I played softball and basketball as well in high school. And then um I actually took over for him at the high school that I'm at, and he went on to our like regional office to oversee all of San Diego. So uh when I came here, um, it just so happened that I took over. They didn't want me to coach field hockey at the time, not a problem. And then they asked me if I wanted to step into the role to coach, and I did, uh, became the head coach. I assisted for I think seven years before I came the head coach and only decided to be the head coach when my daughter came here. Unfortunately, that was her COVID year. The introduction of 2020 was her COVID year. Um, so we only played seven games, and I really wanted to make sure she was okay with me coaching her. Um, and it's really natural. So uh she didn't have a problem with it. I think it probably puts on a little bit more pressure when you're the coach's kid. At least that's you felt like you were proving yourself every day. Um, yes. And then she actually missed her sophomore season with me. She tore her ACL. She's an ACL uh ACL recovery success story. And, you know, I feel like that injury takes, honestly, I feel like it picks on the uh toughest people, and then says, like, nah, we we think you have more. Like, now do this. Um, so she missed her sophomore year and then came back junior or senior year, played for me. And um, that was phenomenal to coach her and then, you know, to also oversee all of the sports. Sure, it's a big, you know, it's a big time job, but I think the ability to coach my kid and I truly believe in being a female role model. So continuing to coach, right? She's gone. I don't have, I just have the my three boys left, um, one who's in college and then my other two that are home. But um, I just I love what I'm able to provide for female uh athletes. I think it's really important. So doing that through coaching really um kind of fills my cup overall because uh I really do enjoy the coaching aspect.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

There was just an article. I'm gonna go rogue. Lee knows how to do that. So there was just an article uh this week that FIFA, woman's FIFA, is gonna require that there's a woman's coach.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

I saw that.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

And I yeah, I wonder what you I don't know if that's too risky. I have a lot of opinions about that, uh, and I'm happy to share mine first. If but what do you think?

SPEAKER_01 7:18

You know what? I saw it, and and initially I was like, wait, this is odd. Like they're requiring that a female be on staff. Um, and I kind of just saw it for uh front and center. I think it was on an Instagram post. So I didn't dive into the article, so to speak, as to the reasoning behind it. Um I I thought it was I mean, I think it's an interesting play. I'd love to read more as to why the reasoning behind why they want a female on staff. I think there's definitely, you know, uh there's reasons for. I mean, even at the high school level, I I like when if we have male staffs, they have a female staff member. If even part-time, there's just uh a relatability at the high school factor that the high school girls need. Um so it's funny because I grew up, you know, my college coach was female. Uh, I don't, I don't know really anything um different. So, and my daughter has kind of had the same experience we were talking about at Cal too. And now they have a blend, they just have a new co new coaches, co-coaches, um, a married couple, male and female. And um she loves the back and forth, but they both bring the same intensity. So I don't know the reasoning behind uh FIFA's decision. Um, but I would be intrigued to hear or what you thought about it too, or what the article said more of.

ACL Recovery And Resilience

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Well, you know, reasons behind and the why is like so stupid because half the time who knows uh they don't know why, probably. Like that's just the way that so a lot of these policies are written. But I think just at at the face of it, I I do believe in it. Uh, you know, there's a disproportionate amount of you know, white coaches versus black coaches, you know, especially in like black dominant sports like football and basketball. And you know, I you see a lot of you know, there's no I mean there's one female coach in male sports, and but then there's a majority of male coaching female sports. So especially for like the revenue, you know, like the basketballs and um I I just think there's you know, not equity in like a way that it's being targeted as a as a dirty word today, but just in uh the idea that like you said relatability, I think that's a piece of it, but also like come on, like guys, stay in your lane. Like, I don't know, like let the like girls, you know, just I think that there's just some more relatability in that. And I mean, look, you're in a male-dominant field too. I'm um as an athletic director. So even you know, what's that like?

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Oh, um, absolutely. It's so funny. We were just talking about this uh the other day. Um, we were doing some interviews for or an executive director for a foundation and talking about sports and what it's like. And um, you know, I think out of our head coaches on campus, maybe four are females. So the majority of coaching uh and what and what I work with are all males. Um, and in the world of sports, it's it's definitely male. Um, you know, I find it challenging. I um I think uh it's difficult to add to like the the plot thickens as you understand that my husband is a coach on our campus and also a teacher. So there's a lot of family influx there.

unknown 10:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

But I I think the challenge lies on, you know, I make decisions or I make rules and policies, and the perception doesn't come with kind of a reward of wow, that was an incredible idea, or wow.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Um, and I hate to even say that, you know, it's kind of you get thrown around as like, you know, what a bitch. Like, I can't believe she's making us do this. Uh so that's still there, that's still present. And sometimes I feel as a female, I could win as many championships, I could be get as many awards. Um, yeah, it still doesn't put me on an even playing field in in some people's eyes, unfortunately. And um you know, you kind of you kind of learn to get tough skin, right? Like and and own the room when you walk in. But I think that comes with the territory of I think when you are raised in athletics and and then go to college and have at there's this sense of confidence that you are you kind of have, like you maintain. And I wonder why, you know, I have to be busy all the time. And then I realize, wait, like I've been busy since, you know, I was eight years old, and then going to college, there's no break. There's no, so I think that has just been kind of my life, and then always trying to prove myself. Um, and I feel like that's the role that I take on in this job too.

Women Coaches And Double Standards

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Well, and that's the tough part about it. Like you said, the tough skin and all of that, and and the the the starting line is is in a different place, and you know, people will not like that I'm saying that, and I don't care. Uh, and and so I think those are probably the reasons that FIFA, you know, established some of this. So exactly what we're saying that you know, um, I use that I do a lot of executive coaching, and and the female who's the CEO and bangs the table is the bitch versus the man who does that is just strong and assertive. You know, there's there is a gender stereotype and a difference in that. And so that's what we're talking about in this. But and here's the other thing you are also a mom of four, so you have a different role at home. I'm gonna assume if I'm gonna put you in gender stereotype, I'm gonna assume that you have uh um, but what's that like? Like you're so busy because you're not only working in all this like male-dominant world, but you're also, you know, a coach, a mom, an AD. Like, what's what how do you do all of it?

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Yeah, and it I guess it's just it's just like I said, it's what I don't know anything different than being, you know, absolutely jam-packed every day. And I think that has served me well with my career and even, you know, and as a as a mom in terms of like organization, uh, the mentality with knowing that we're waking up every morning and we're going through the calendar and we're making sure every kid has a ride here. And and now we only have two at home. And I think we complain more with two at home than we did when we had four. You know what I mean? I think now we're actually understanding the chaos that we live in. As before with four, you just went with it. Um but uh I mean, it's exciting, it's it's fulfilling, that's for sure. And um, I always I was an only child growing up. So my husband always tells me, I was raised in a museum. Like Carrie, you don't even know what it's like to have I don't know why my kids fight. I don't understand why they don't absolutely just adore each other. This is the way it should be. Um so anyway, I think I um yeah, the plot thickened when I went from, you know, hey, I let's go one, let's go all the way to four and call it a day. Let's keep going.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that you just said I just love that you said museum because that's the joke we well, my middle brother, we always said his house was the museum. Uh, because he's just because he's OCD. So it was like everything had to be in a place and it couldn't be touched.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Yeah. Well, I think everything was just so quiet at my house, right? I mean, like, who who am I? I mean, I'm talking to my parents. I like have my pretend my cabbage patch dolls are like my best friends in my room. You're you get creative as an only child. You don't, I don't, I didn't know anything other than my parents being my best friends, which has served me incredibly well in life because obviously they still are to this day and they're amazing. Um, and then I it's helped my relationship with my with my children too. I just don't understand why the siblings don't get along. I mean, obviously I do, but as an only child craving, craving a sibling, I was you understand that now. Yes, I understand it. I still just am like, God, that's all I wanted my entire life was a sibling. And oh, the for the only reason that I wanted a different version of my parents, right? Um, I thought that would be so cool. Uh, but I've given my parents, you know, four, four grandchildren that can make up for the fact that they only had one. So they're they're in heaven.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

That's right. Was that um, I mean, this might be personal, but was that a decision of on their part or just you know, being an only child?

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Well, you know, my mom, and no, it it's um honestly, my mom couldn't have any more kids at the age of like 32. She had to have a hysterectomy. So uh while they would have loved to have more, she had me at 27. Um, that was a pretty back in the day, there was nothing they could do about it. So um endometriosis led to uh hysterectomy.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

So okay, yeah. And so you gave her the four grandchildren, and what a beautiful kiss that is.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

And and they have a blast with them.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Are you are you from Michigan and then and then relocated to California?

SPEAKER_01 15:26

From San Diego, from San Diego, and then um with the field hockey world, there's only three schools. There were four at the time when I played. Cal, there was University of Pacific, Stanford, and Davis. Um, and so I really wanted to, I really wanted to get away a little bit. And uh I made sure that happened when I went to Michigan, and then I really was like, okay, I'm gonna get my degree in four years because the snow actually isn't fun for California kids. No, like after five days, I was like, wait, why didn't it, why isn't it stopping? This is California's used to like we go to the snow, right? We go to the snow, we see it, we play in it, and then we leave it. And it's so Michigan, it just kept it kept falling.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

It kept fall. That was that was New Jersey this year, this winter. We've gotten our butt our buttbeat. But uh So, okay, mom, coach, athletic director, what advice? Because you have a lot of different perspectives. So, what about advice for student athletes who want to compete at the college level?

Life As A Jam Packed Mom

SPEAKER_01 16:25

I think, you know, I think the dynamic of the college landscape has really changed. I've seen, you know, so much of the transfer portal um be in and impact the game. So our high school athletes are their goals and dreams are being derailed by the 25-year-old who is in their seventh year of an NIL deal and just got picked up by the team that they wanted to go play in, right? Like, um, and so it's becoming more challenging for the high school athlete, I think, than it is the college athlete who has had now has just like all of these opportunities and no um ties to loyalty, which is a whole nother right, like topic that you could have. Um so I mean, I I would hope that the the kids who want to play understand um that the system isn't helping them right now and it is challenging for them, um, depending on the sport they play. But I do like a lot of our kids that are trying the junior college route first to start playing and then getting picked up because that is providing a little bit more opportunity for them. But I would also just say, you know, some people have these dreams of um you know participating at the next level and that's all they've ever wanted to do since they were 10. And then I think they get there and they don't realize the commitment that it takes and that it is it is your world, it is your job, it is ups and downs. I mean, between my two kids, I have one who really is thriving, but had to go from, you know, being like state player of the year and having all these accolades to freshmen playing 22 minutes, like wow, derailed fast. Um and now had to build back up, like had to face the challenges in college athletics. And it's a different level when you face them in college, right? There's not like there's not a lot of people who care about sometimes necessarily how you're feeling. Like you're not playing, okay. Like figure it out. If you want to play, play.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

Like well, Dr. P Dr. Pete cares. So yeah, tell me more about how your daughter benefited and uh as much as you're willing to share about the sport psychology, because it is something that I didn't have and you probably didn't have it when you were an athlete either.

College Athletics Reality Check

SPEAKER_01 18:38

No, I did I didn't have it, and and I don't think the mental health piece was even a component of college athletics when when we were competing. Um and now it has become such a central focus, and uh, college athletics gives it to their athletes, and I think it's about taking advantage of those opportunities that you have, because it's not necessarily mandated for her program, but working with um her sports psychologist Ian, who I know by first name, by the way, because that's how much she talks about him at uh Berkeley. And I mean, it's like a weekly appointment she has. And even now she's working through, um, yeah, I mean, she works through everything. She works on like even just like tracking and talking. And I'm talking about she does some like some tracking movement device that she loves with him. And that works into another play that then they talk about and this, and he comes to the games, and um, it's really increased her confidence um on the field and her ability to tackle her situations with whether it be coaches, teammates. Um, she really does uh see the benefit in it. And I love that um that opportunity uh for her to handle, you know, what's going on. So I feel like she has a great setup. And obviously, that's um a D1 athletic program providing for athletes. My son goes to a division two school. I have very two different situations going on where he really loves lacrosse. Um, he's struggling kind of with the academic component and the demands of school, understanding that balance, still trying to figure it out. And right now he's in lacrosse season. So it's just difficult, even with, you know, the tutoring and everything that they give to student athletes, it's just becomes sometimes, wait a second. I think the questioning goes into play like, is can I really do this? Can I do this for four years or however, however much longer? And I would say the first year is always the most challenging for the adjustment to happen.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

So um I I say that all the time to athletes. I mean, I don't bring myself into it, but once in a while they like that, they appreciate it. And I'll say, you know, my freshman year, I I went to practice to quit. You know, I gotten permission from my parents, like we were gonna work it out with the scholarship, and uh I went to quit and I never did. And then four years later, just have a career that I, you know, uh complete competed. But you know, it it it does build it build resilience. Uh here uh in the in the east coast, we talk about grit. You all don't have that in the west coast. You don't you don't have what we got in that way.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

No, we don't. We don't. There's a little, I'm telling you, no, you see it. It's a chip on the shoulder. Believe me. I I know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

And I love it. I mean, I love the the the challenge of that because a lot of the guys and athletes I work with, like I'm trying to, you know, break through that a little bit for the work. So uh so you and your husband, John, you guys started the DJu Performance. Uh it's a growing platform to train, inspire, and encourage athletes of all levels. I know that it's a local offering at this point, but tell us about it and do you see it growing?

Sports Psychology That Actually Helps

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Sure. Um it it actually uh De Julio Performance um just started within kind of the year of opening our own business. Prior to that, in 2006, we started, which is 20 years ago, which is crazy. Uh my field hockey team wanted a way to learn about the weight room, and they were like, oh my god, we'd love to go in the weight room sometime. And uh at this point, uh, our daughter was about six months old. During the summer, we brought her to Summer Weights in June. On introduce the weight room to my athletes and we called it girl power. We did it for two years and then, you know, like we started populating the earth. So we had to take back and kind of drop that. Um in 2020, after I guess 2021, after our daughter tore ACL, uh, we brought it back because we realized she needed a place surrounded by females of people who are gonna lift her up through this process. If she still and she wanted to go, listen, so from the time she was 10, she wanted to be a college athlete and in determined, and this is what she was gonna do. So this bump in the road, and my husband knew about the ACL, he's done his three times. So he knew what the uh recovery was gonna be like. Um, I don't think everybody is privy to that, you know, like it's a year-long process. It's meant the mental and challenge, uh physical challenge of it all. So we brought it back to LCC, and that's pretty much the Julio performance covers this girl power camp that we run.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Well, that is really cool. I mean, you know, this uh the Julio performance and this girls' camp, I mean, really important stuff. And it kind of comes back to what we started talking about earlier without being scripted about just the role of you know, gender and women in sports. So uh where can people learn about these organizations?

SPEAKER_01 23:19

So our girl power, we have an Instagram um that's Girl Power, and it's pretty much centrally located to where we're at in Carlsbad. And um, my husband and I are working on our website, dejulioperformance.com. Uh, but our summer camp is grades uh middle school through high school, and um you don't have to participate in a sport to be in it. It's just about, you know, girls uh learning about their bodies, learning about the weight room, learning about strength, confidence, and then just building each other up so much in high school. Sometimes for girls is about tearing each other down, unfortunately, whether it's social media, whether it's, you know, this constant competition that we're all in. But for high school girls, it just seems to grow um during this age. So it's really about you know, watching someone um squat and they're putting up a new weight, and you get that feeling of uh camaraderie. And uh, that's the part that I love the most about our camp.

Girl Power Camp And Closing Mindset

SPEAKER_02 24:16

I love it. So we'll have all that in the show notes. And Carrie, thank you so much uh for all of these great wisdom in your story and all these hats that you wear. It's uh a really amazing role model for your children and all the people. Well, thank you. Yeah, really, really cool. And I am the best friend, but anyway. All right, uh, I know many of you are uh just kidding. Uh thanks to you that listening at home. Uh many of you will start receiving college acceptance letters soon. It's very stressful. So remember that it's important just to be in the moment, relax, let it all go. Uh, because really nothing matters. I mean, you know, we're it'll all play out the way it's supposed to play out and living in that present moment. Success is is not defined by a single decision or an acceptance. What matters most is that you have the opportunities that are in front of you, and you take some and you don't take some. So, Carrie, thank you so much for being here. Those at home, thank you for listening. Until I we're back here next week, spread a little kindness and stay well.