I had to have a jab at Melvin for not being at the v-cast, considering all the jabs he takes at me for everything. 

“He was counting on you to be there,” I said. 

“I was there,” he said. 

“No you weren’t.” 

“Well why did you ask me?” 

“You realize how many people was there?” 

“No people were actually anywhere. It’s all just avatars. Half of them probably dogs and chickens and God knows what else.” 

“No. Well yes, there was the odd chicken and whatnot, but it’s still people. What odds what they were?”

“I had stuff to take care of, Dad. I haven’t got time to be playing games with livestock.” 

“It’s not a game. It’s a v-cast. And why did you tell him you could do it if you didn’t have time?” 

“I thought I did, but something came up. Like you got room to talk. Did you feed” —he pointed downward — “yet?” 

“I thought you were going to?” 

“I fed them their daily dose of ganga, but no food. Jesus, it’s 11 o’clock in the day, Dad. They’re probably starving.” 

“Go on, sure they don’t get up until noon.”

“I just said I gave them weed, so they are up.” 

“Well, they haven’t knocked on the door so they can’t be very hungry. They got all kinds of snacks so maybe they’re eating that. Or leftovers. But I’ll get on it,” I said and got up to fix them breakfast, or lunch, or whatever you want to call it. They were still on their carb strike so I couldn’t make toast. Or ash browns. To be honest, the first time I tried to make a low-carb breakfast I didn’t have a clue what foods actually had low carbs. So I figured I would ask the fridge, and sure enough, it lit up all the food inside that qualified. Which was one thing: Eggs. So then I had to go get low-carb groceries. Breakfast that day was eggs, yogurt, and a few partridge berries I picked on a cutover not far from the house. I got a bit of a fright when I was picking berries because I turned up my hearing aid like I always do when I’m in the woods alone, and I swear I could hear animals running in the bushes all around me. I was afraid it might be bears, but they were moving too fast and it didn’t sound big enough. Then obviously of course, I thought about the dogs. It probably was the dogs. They were still around. The town even sent out wildlife officers to catch them, but no luck. 

“How long can this go on? Even I’m starting to feel sorry for the dumb bastards. Is Tom getting any closer?”

“I keep asking him, but all he keeps saying is ‘soon,’ ‘soon.’” 

“Yeah, we’re going to have a real problem soon if he doesn’t figure this out. All it takes is one word from those ‘magas,’” he mouthed without speaking, “to that fuckin bone,” drone, “and we’re done. Does he realize that? Game over.”

“Dead?” 

“Jesus, Dad, no, I don’t mean dead. I mean the whale's tail. And I’m not going to no whales tail. I’d kill myself first.” 

“Judas, stop saying that stuff.”

“Believe what you want, but I would.”

We ate our lunch, which wasn’t so low on carbs, and while I was finishing my tea, Melvin said, “You know, I looked up one of those …bones? The model like they have. Have a guess how much it costs?”

“A good penny I’d say.” 

“A hundred thousand yuan.”

“Yes,” I said, laughing. “Maybe we can catch it and sell it.” 

“I’m not joking. You have to order them a year ahead on Alibaba. I knew those kids came from money, but how much money, that’s the question?” 

“I don’t even know if I wants to know,” I said. 

“Maybe I should figure out who Tom’s boss is. Go over his head.” 

“Well, that’s easy. Reverend Tom’s boss is one of the elders of the church.”

“Okay, which one?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well Jesus, how the fuck does that help?”

“I daresay you can narrow it down can’t you?” 

“Don’t he get his messages through analog?” 

“That’s what he said.” 

“Oh my, what did I get myself into.”

“I begged you not to get involved in this.”

“No good to talk about that now.” 

“No, it ain’t. Every piece of advice I ever gave you in life you went out of your way to do the opposite anyway.” 

“Yeah, because everything worked out so good for you. Scrubbing toilets, and looking out for a boy that…” 

“Was always in trouble? You can blame that on your mother. She held in with you no matter what I said.” 

“What did you say? I don’t remember you saying anything, only shaking your head at me.” 

“I didn’t say anything because it was no point. You didn’t listen, and your mother would hold in with you anyway.” 

Melvin laughed. “You don’t even know how blind you are.” 

“I’m not so blind as you thinks.” 

He laughed again and got up from the table shaking his head slowly. “You poor fool. It’s not just that you don’t know. You don’t know that you don’t know. That’s the sad part.” 

“Well, what is it that I don’t know that I don’t know?” 

“Lots of things through the years. Mom pulled the wool over your eyes so many times that I lost count.”

“I know all about your mother, Melvin.”

“You knows fuck all.”

“When you’re in a marriage you got to accept things about your partner or get divorced. There’s things she had to accept about me and things I had to accept about her. That’s the reason you’re not married anymore, because you…well, maybe in your case you made the right choice. That woman don’t have a clue. You don’t either certainly, but she made it worse.”

“See, right now there’s things going on around you that you don’t know about. Do you actually think weed would be enough to keep those two downstairs quiet all this time?” 

“My Lord, Melvin, you’re not feeding them hard drugs is you?”

“No, something better. Sex.”

“Sex? Prostitutes?” 

“AI whores. I had to buy wetsuits and headsets, but it was worth the money.” 

“How much money?” 

“Couple thousand.”

“Not cheap…wait, dollars or yuan?” 

“Yuan, Canadian, what difference does it make?” 

“One is way more than the other, that’s the difference.” 

“Well I’m not paying for it all myself.” 

“Who’s splitting it with you? Reverend Tom?” 

“Tom? Why would Tom pay? No, you obviously.”

“Me? I didn’t agree to that! And what do you mean by wetsuits? Are they using them in the bathtub?” 

“No, that’s just what they call them. Look Dad, I had to do something for a distraction. I’m telling you, they aren’t saying much, which is a bad sign. They’re planning.”

“They wouldn’t plan a bake sale. Sure won't they be able to get in contact with the outside world with headsets?” 

“No, I downloaded hundreds of…games, if you can call it that, and disconnected the internet.”

“What about me?” 

“Just ask it. I put voice recognition on for you and Park.”

“So what kind of games is it?” 

“Why, you interested? You know what, don’t answer that. I might throw up.”

“No, I’m not interested. I was just…Judas, I don’t even know why I asked that to be honest —when you say wetsuit…do it actually look like a wetsuit?”

“Kind of yeah. It’s a similar kind of fabric, but the crotch is different.” 

“And you bought that around here?”

“Yeah, EverythingStore.” 

“EverythingStore? What isle?” 

“Pharmacy. Hung up next to the strap-ons and cock-rings.”

“Makes sense.” 

I stared out the bay and wished I had never agreed to any of this. Come to think of it, I didn’t. I got suckered into it to help a friend. Being a sucker was something I was always good at. 

“But won't they…dry themselves out after a while? I mean, there’s only so much of that you can do a day.” 

“Not when you’re their age. Why do you think it’s called a wetsuit? It absorbs the fluids and hydrates your body again.” 

“You didn’t need to tell me that part. But that’s not what I meant. I mean, you can only…you can only do that so many times a day. Right?”

“Get jerked off by a suit of clothes? I guess so. But it tires them out, even if it is rehydrating. That’s good for us. They can play games on it too, besides porn. The way I figure, it’s an investment. An investment into our future. A future with us not being in jail.” 

“They have been quiet….mostly. Oh my, I almost wish you didn’t tell me that. Even Dan hasn’t been saying much.” 

“I got one for Dan too.” 

“For the dog!” 

“Jesus, Dad, you’re gullible enough to believe anything.”

“Nothing would surprise me these days. The world is gone.”

When we got back to the house a truck was idling in the driveway. Not that trucks idle any more, but I can’t get out of the habit of saying that.

Anyway, Frank and his wife were in the truck, and when he saw me he got out. She tried to get out too, but he said a few words to her, and a few more to the car that I couldn’t hear, then music started playing loudly, and she stopped struggling to get out.”   

“I figured you was gone for a walktalk,” he said when Melvin and I got up to him. 

“What are you up to?” I asked. 

“Nothing.” That’s what everyone says in Newfoundland if you ask them what they’re up to. They could be solving world hunger, and they’ll say, “Nothing.” Either way, I knew that was a lie because it was the first time he had visited me since he built his house, and wanted to know how far I had to go down with my artesian well to get water. That was forty years ago. So it wasn’t nothing.  

“I got to ask you something,” he said. “Did you figure things out? With that stuff you asked me, the last time I saw you?” 

“You can talk about it around Melvin,” I said. “He knows.” 

“So did you?”

“I did,” I said. “Me and Melvin got something worked out.” 

“Because I got a big job for you. It’s too big to do on my own, but if…so is it you or Melvin?” 

I pointed my thumb toward Melvin. “He does the pickup and I do the lodgings.” 

“Jesus Dad! Just because he’s in the same racket don’t mean you got to tell on the whole operation.”

“You got no worries about me,” Frank said. “I’m a holy coyote like you. You already got too much on me anyway, so why would I?” 

“Well how long have you been at this?” Melvin asked. 

“A few years,” Frank said, grinning. 

“I don’t know if there’s much we can do right now,” I said. “We already got two people in the house, and we’re waiting on ID. And it’s taking a lot longer than usual.” 

Frank nodded. “It can take a while sometimes. How long have they been waiting?” 

“That don’t really matter,” Melvin said, cutting me off. “Too long. Dad, let me do the talking here, will you? Considering I’m the one that takes the risks.” 

“He’s taking a risk too if he’s harbouring them,” Frank said, pointing at me. 

“Yeah, but I’d still rather do the talking,” Melvin said, smiling. “What’s the deal?”

“I got a big order coming in soon. But my boat isn’t big enough. There was a miscommunication. I agreed to the order. Plans was made. Things was arranged. But then I finds out that there’s ten more people than was originally quoted to me. Ten! I wouldn’t mind two or three more, but my boat can’t handle twenty people. If I still had the long liner I could do it obviously, but all I got now is that pleasure boat, and she just can’t handle twenty people. I’ll have us swamped. 

I’d cancel the order, but they don’t look too kindly on canceling orders once things start going into motion. I canceled one last year when the wife started having trouble, and Tom told me if I ever canceled another one after the order was put in, then I would be finished.”

“But what are they going to say if two boats shows up for the pickup instead of one?” 

“Skipper won't like it, but it’ll be too late then. I’ve been at this a while. She’ll be pissed off, and we’ll get a tongue-banging, but in the end she’ll go along with it. She trusts me.” 

“I don’t know. Those people on the boats seem pretty serious to me. Pretty particular about details. I got a feeling they’re not the type that likes surprises. Especially two boats instead of one. I knows I’d be suspicious.” 

Frank’s phone started ringing then and he looked down at it and cursed. “Jesus, that’s the truck. Sorry, I got to answer this.” 

He put the phone up to his ear. “What. Yes. Yes, I’ll be there in a minute. Put her on speaker phone. Deidre! Deidre! I’m gone for a walk with Gil Abrams. I’ll be back in a minute. Gil. Gil Abrams, lives down the road from us. Yes…yes…okay, I’ll be there in a minute. Just listen to the music. Okay? Bye.” 

He looked at us, then shook his head. “She’s confused where she is now. She got that forgot already. That’s most of the reason I can’t give up on this job. I needs enough money for the shot for both of us. From what I’ve read they don’t even know if it will cure dementia, but they thinks it might. Jesus, I hope. If I got to put up with this much longer I’m walk into the ocean anyway. At least she don’t know what the fuck is going on. I’m the one who got to deal with everything. And I can’t even bring a caretaker in with all this coyote racket I’m caught up in. I’ve come to the conclusion that you works harder breaking the law than you do abiding by it.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to think that too.” 

“So there’s no way you can back out of it?” I asked. 

“With the problems the church is having lately, according to Tom, there’s not a chance. For some reason the communication is breaking down.”

“Might be because they’re using one-hundred-year-old technology. Might as well be passing notes with paper airplanes.”  

Frank snorted. “Could be. But what choice do they have? You can’t fart now without the government knowing about it.”

 “Like I said,” I said, “we got two magas now that we can’t get rid of, and could escape at any time. I don’t know where we would put one more, let alone ten.” 

“Oh you wouldn’t have to hold them. I probably didn’t make that part clear. You would just have to pick them up. Once their ashore I’ll take care of everything else, and they’ll be out of your hands. And listen, there’s something else.” He looked down then, embarrassed. He even turned a bit red in the face. “Listen, Gil, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I slapped you in the face, and more than anything, I’m sorry about how I treated you when we was boys. I always thought I was a comedian, and I loved being the center of attention. And if that meant bullying someone else around me, I didn’t care. All I wanted was to make people laugh, and I didn’t care who I hurt to get that. I’m really sorry about the way I treated you. It was wrong, and there’s no excuse for it. What I did to you at The Lions Club was probably one of the meanest things I ever done. Believe it or not, even back then, when I didn’t have the sense I do now. Even back then I felt bad about it after. I don’t know if you remembers, our drummer, Chuck —dead for thirty years or more now from the goddamn Oxycontin— made me feel like two cents before we got on stage. That’s why he wasn’t there because he knew it was wrong. He had more sense than any of us, well, except for the drugs. He played with us a few times after, but eventually he got clear of us. We didn’t get along.” 

“It’s alright,” I said. “Everybody does stupid things when they’re young.” 

“He slapped you?” Melvin asked. 

“It was in the past,” I said. “It don’t matter. Water under the bridge.”

“So what do you say?” Frank asked.

“Can’t do it. Sorry.”

Frank shrugged and nodded, and then he stitched them big bushy eyebrows. “What did you mean by escape?”

“Escape?” Melvin said. 

Frank turned to me. “Didn’t you just say that you didn’t want the magas you’re holding to escape? Escape from what?” 

“Bad choice of words. You never knows what’s going to come out of Dad’s mouth.” 

 “You haven’t got them poor magas barred in your basement until the IDs come through have you?” He could see by the expression on my face that he was right, then he burst out laughing. “My Jesus, Gil, you’re more of a hard-arse than I thought you was! I didn’t think you had it in you to do something like that. Holy shit boys, we’re dealing with a stone-cold-coyote here. Don’t fuck around with Gil Abrams.” He slapped me on the back. “How long have they been down there?”

I was going to answer and Melvin cut me off. “Too long. But anyway, we appreciate the offer, but it seems like a big risk.” 

“But you wouldn’t be told off for it. I would.” 

“If they recognize me on the boat, I’ll get in as much trouble as you will. I don’t want to take that risk.”

Frank laughed and turned to me. “Talk some sense into that boy will you? I don’t think he realizes how much money he’s turning down.” 

“I’m no boy, and you didn’t say the price yet.” 

“Close on two million yuan. I’ll split it sixty-forty. I’d say that’s a damn good deal.”

“Not Canadian dollars,” Melvin said. “Yuan?” 

“Yuan.” 

With that one order, I would have enough for the vaccine.

“Maybe we could do it,” I said to Melvin.

“Ten people in my boat is really pushing it,” Melvin said. 

“I thought it was my boat,” I said. Frank got a kick out of that.

“Whoever owns it, ten people will swamp it if we get bad weather.”

“I don’t know if it’s that dangerous,” I said. “She’s a sturdy boat. I’ve had a lot of weight aboard of her.”  

“Like when?” 

“Lots of times.” 

“Like when? Tell me.” 

“I brought slate over from the old quarry for the walkway to the shed last year. I nearly filled up the boat and she didn’t budge.” 

“Yeah, because it was flat calm that day probably. I dare say you stayed in the southeast arm too. I’m going to be out in the open bay, with God knows what kind of swell.” He put up his hand and shook his head. “No, sorry, Frank. Ten people is too dangerous.” 

“Let us talk it over,” I said winking at Frank and putting my hand on Melvin’s shoulder.

“There’s nothing to discuss, Dad,” Melvin said. “You knows I’m no pussy, but it’s not worth the risk.” 

“I’ll go with you then,” I said. 

“Are you not getting the problem here?” Melvin asked. “Another person would only make it more dangerous.” 

“Okay, well you can stay, and I’ll go. I’ll still split the money with you.”

“You? You shit—“ 

“It don’t matter what happened the last time,” I said, not wanting to give Frank another reason to lose even more respect for me. “It’ll be my last trip. You can take over the operation and all the money that comes with it from there on out. You can use my boat as much as you wants.” 

Frank turned back to his truck. “I’ll let the two of you talk this out, and I’ll drop over again tomorrow. How do that sound?” 

“Sounds good,” I said, and he headed back. 

“Wait!” Melvin said to Frank, and he turned around. “Why don’t you just get another boat and tow it?” 

“The pickup is this weekend. Where am I going to get a new boat on this short of notice? I got a small punt that could probably take four people, that will still be too many in my boat. Everywhere I went in town they said they had to order in. I suppose I could have drove to St. John’s but to be honest, I don’t like buying boats these days. Looks suspicious. You knows Big G is keeping track of that stuff. I’d rather just use what I had for the last twenty years. At least I got an excuse to have it. I dare say you feels the same way, no?” 

We had to agree.     

“Look, if you were trying to act tough for your old high school bully I get it,” Melvin said after Frank was gone. “But you knows that boat can’t handle ten people. On a flat calm day, yes, you’d probably get across the arm, but in the open ocean? In the night? With swell? You’d be gambling with your life.”

“Everything is a gamble,” I said. 

He stared at me. “Are you okay? Seriously. This is not like you. How much did he shit on you back then anyway? It must have been pretty bad if he found the need to apologize to you all this time later. With me standing there.” 

I waved it away. “He wasn’t that bad. Just liked to have a bit of fun at my expense sometimes. Sure I seen you do that same thing with some of your friends when you was young.” He had nothing to say to that. Melvin was a bully sometimes. Not physically, but I saw him drive some of his friends up the wall, poking fun at them, when he was a teenager. One of his overweight buddies left the house in tears one night. But he was back again the next weekend, so maybe he apologized to him. Probably not. 

“Look,” I said. “I just wants to get the money, get the vaccine, and get it over with. Start a new life before it’s too late. I knows I’ll be scared out of my mind like I was the first time, but I’ll get through it. I’ll wear a diaper if I have to.” 

“I was going to say a bag to shit in, but you’re way ahead of me.”