Ep. 75: TL;DL - The Three Phases of Authentic Leadership with Drew Deraney

Summary:

This episode features a "Too Long, Didn't Listen" (TL;DL) summary of my conversation with Drew Deraney, caregiver, family health coach, and host of From Caving In To Crushing It podcast. Drew shares his transformational Man Number One, Two, Three framework that helps fathers move from blind spots to authentic leadership. His journey began with a devastating wake-up call from his son Matthew, and evolved into a mission helping caregiving families find presence over provision.Drew reveals the critical difference between physical and authentic presence, why societal conditioning keeps men operating on autopilot, and how understanding energy and frequency transformed his relationship with his autistic son. His framework aligns perfectly with Corvus principles of self-awareness, self-belief, and self-accountability. Listen to the full episode for Drew's complete story of transformation from workaholic executive to present father and guide for other men seeking authentic leadership.

Show Notes:

01:23 Takeaway: Physical Presence vs Authentic Presence

02:28 Takeaway: The Man Number One, Two, Three Framework

03:30 Takeaway: Energy, Frequency, and Thinking Language

04:51 Final Thoughts

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 0:32 Meet Drew Deraney
• 1:23 Takeaway: Physical Presence vs Authentic Presence
• 2:28 Takeaway: The Man Number One, Two, Three Framework
• 3:30 Takeaway: Energy, Frequency, and Thinking Language
• 4:51 Final Thoughts
• 5:26 Outro

Transcript

Intro

Scott Raven: Welcome to The Corvus Effect, where we explore what it takes to succeed professionally and truly enhance all parts of your life. I'm Scott Raven, Fractional COO and your host. Each episode we go behind the scenes with leaders who've mastered the delicate harmony of growing their professional endeavors while protecting what matters most. Ready to transform from Chief Everything Officer to achieving integration in all facets of your life? Let's soar!

Meet Drew Deraney

Scott Raven: Hey everybody, it is Scott. Welcome back to The Corvus Effect and welcome to this TL;DL - Too Long, Didn't Listen - from my conversation with Drew Deraney, caregiver, family health coach and host of the From Caving In To Crushing It podcast, and author of the bestselling memoir I'll Have What She's Having. Drew has a wonderful point of view on what authentic leadership is for men and his transformational framework in order to be the fathers and dads that we desire to be in terms of holistic family leadership. I definitely encourage you to go back and listen to the full podcast if you find value in the summary, but let's dive into some of the key takeaways.

Takeaway: Physical Presence vs Authentic Presence

First, Drew had a brutal awakening in terms of the difference between being physically present and authentically present through his son's words. He was blindsided when his son told him, "Dad, you were home but you weren't there." What made this more profound was that as Matthew, his son, was describing this at 10-11 years old, it's just profound how much they remember so young and what a sponge they are and how they learn from their parents' behaviors.

This is the catalyst that not only propelled Drew into becoming the transformational person that he is today for others, but also applying that to his own home front in order to form that bond with his son. It aligns with our Corvus principle that integrated leadership starts with fully showing up. You can't lead your family, your team, your business without being fully present, even if you are physically there.

Takeaway: The Man Number One, Two, Three Framework

Secondly, his transformational Man Framework provides a roadmap for authentic masculine leadership. It has three phases:

Man Number One is the man who doesn't even notice what's going on around him and has blind spots and is operating on autopilot all over the place.

Man Number Two has awareness without the accountability - the man who sees adversity but considers himself the victim. And you can't just go from Man Number One to Man Number Three, which is the fully authentic leader seeing things as an opportunity. Drew explains you have to go through that experience of Man Number Two in terms of how quickly you provide the right self-leadership in order to get from Man Number Two to Man Number Three.

This is very aligned with our Corvus philosophy that self-leadership has three key points: self-awareness, self-belief, and self-accountability, and all three have to be present in order for you to effectively lead yourself.

Takeaway: Energy, Frequency, and Thinking Language

Finally, his revolutionary insight in terms of energy, frequency, and thinking language transforms relationships, especially with family members. Matthew has autism, and Drew discovered that sometimes he was providing too much energy into the conversation that was causing Matthew to say, "Too much, too much." When Matthew was able to see his dad dial it down and be able to focus on one thing at a time at a level that Matthew could take and understand, it allowed them to have effective communications more frequently and be able to drive the thing that they needed to talk about.

This applies to all of us in terms of authentic leadership, particularly those of us who are entrepreneurs and founders. We have 25 different things going on in our head, but we have to be able to focus. We have to be able not only to keep things down to what is the core thing that I want to talk about, but how do I do it at a level that is going to resonate with the person or team that I'm talking to, such that I get the response and the action that I am looking for.

Final Thoughts

Scott Raven: So I encourage you to please go and listen to the full episode. Definitely encourage you to listen to Drew's podcast From Caving In To Crushing It, and also check out his memoir I'll Have What She's Having. As always, subscribe and leave us feedback in terms of this podcast so that we are creating the impact that we are looking to create on the world. Share with those who could use the wisdom from this podcast. Until next time, I'm Scott. We'll see you on The Corvus Effect. Take care.

Outro

Scott Raven: Thank you for joining me on The Corvus Effect. If today's conversation sparked ideas about how to free yourself from overwhelm, visit TheCorvusEffect.com for show notes, resources, and our free Sixth Dimensions Assessment, showing you exactly where you're trapped and how to architect your freedom. While you're there, check out the Corvus Learning Platform, where we turn insights into implementation. If this episode helped you see a new path forward, please subscribe and share it with others who are ready to pursue their definition of professional freedom. Join me next time as we continue exploring how to enhance your life through what you do professionally. It's time to make that your reality!