35. This is THE difference between leaders who crumble & those who rise

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, gorgeous souls. It is time for our mindset drop. So today I want to talk about a really sneaky sales sabotage pattern that I see all the time as a coach. And it often goes unnoticed. And so I really want to dive into it. So it is conflating external metrics with your identity, with what's possible for you, with your what's possible in your future, and kind of like fucking yourself over based on like an external metric. And I'm gonna dive into exactly what this looks like. So let's say you start a launch and sales are slower than you want, okay? And you're like, instead of instead of being like, oh, this is interesting data, it's it becomes meaningful data. And you start to think, oh, maybe people don't want what I have anymore, maybe it's the wrong offer, maybe sales are slow, maybe, maybe, maybe. It goes from fully emotionally neutral data to like a meaningful sort of indicator of something deeper. And that is a problem. Because the truth is in business, there's gonna be things that don't work. There's gonna be stuff that flops, there's gonna be weird weeks, weird months, weird quarters. Like, take it from somebody who's been in this business for over a decade. Like there are fluctuations, but what you always need to protect is your identity, is your deep knowing in the value of your work, is the fact that your soulmate clients deeply value what you offer, that people love to pay you, that you're good at marketing. This is a big one. Someone will have a post-flop or they'll have a weird experience, and they'll they'll take on the identity of, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not that good at marketing. Like an external metric will start to, and it's subtle at first, but it will start to dictate identity, who you know yourself to be. And then as a result, you'll start to contract a little. You'll start to be a little bit smaller, or maybe it's like a cancel culture moment, and people, you feel like you experience the cruelty of the internet, and then suddenly you soften everything just a little. Not a lot, but enough. You start to add caveats to your posts, you start to, you know, only send one email on the last day of the launch instead of the three you planned. Because, like, what if you bother people? Or what if it actually is too much? It's it's not glaring, it's micro, it sounds reasonable, it's sophisticated, but it is there and it is real. And these micro things are what can really block momentum. So I want you to notice where, if anywhere, this is playing out for you. If you've made an external data point more meaningful than it actually is, or if you've taken any external data to mean that you are less good at your job. Like, let's say you have an unhappy client, and then instead of being like, wow, something happened there, like let's explore it, it's like maybe I'm not as good of a coach as I think I am, you know? And then if unchecked in your marketing, you're a little more timid. Maybe nobody on the outside would notice, but it's happening in these things, they're there are these tiny little kinks in your sales process, and if unchecked and if unmoved, they start to create blockages and they they can really have an impact. So I want to know like what this brings up for you. Are there any areas where you've been like making an external data point, whether it's your visibility, your income, your clients, maybe even something a family member said, where you've conflated some sort of external metric with who you fucking are and what's possible for you and your identity and your gifts. And I want you to really be honest with yourself. Like, where are you doing this? Even subtly. This is really fucking big. Get super honest, and I want you to start asking yourself, is that actually true? So let's say you had like a weird week of really low engagement, and suddenly you're like, I just don't get content, I'm not good at content. That is not a good thought running the show. You know what I'm saying? And it can seem innocent, but it's it's it's the kind of thing versus, oh, I had lower engagement this week. Interesting. We can look at that, but it's not inherently meaningful, and you don't take it in. It doesn't stay with you, it doesn't become part of who you are. Who you are and who you know yourself to be, and your identity as a successful, powerful, impactful coach and creator is your most valuable asset in business, and it needs to be protected from sort of threats that will come at it and try to knock you out of that. And you've got to be so fucking solid. Like, I don't give a shit what the evidence says. This is who I know myself to be, this is who I declare I am, and this is how I show up. Fuck like, and I hold that fully, fully, fully until the universe has no choice but to bend and align accordingly. And so that's the level of like unshakable, unfuckwithable conviction and identity solidity that helps you create a real fucking movement online. So I know one of you needs to hear this today. Um, it just poured through, and I'm sending you so much love. I'm so proud of all of you, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.