#45- Static Lace talk sobriety and recovery, leaving abusive relationships, and writing rock music

Episode 45 of Good Times, Noodle Salad features Matt flying solo in the host chair while sitting down with Static Lace, a husband-and-wife rock duo making loud, gritty rock music while navigating real life offstage.

The conversation gets honest right out of the gate. BA shares the powerful story of getting sober and rebuilding her life after a near-death car accident pushed her to leave an abusive relationship. It’s a raw look at survival, recovery, and how music became part of putting the pieces back together.

Naturally, the episode also goes completely off the rails. Matt proudly explains how he intentionally started a rumor that his own grandma is racist just to commit to a joke at a wedding—because sometimes the bit is worth the chaos.

They also get into raising kids while chasing creative work, the songwriting process behind Static Lace’s music, and the reality of trying to raise chickens when you’re absolutely terrible at it.

And in classic Matt fashion, the studio nearly implodes when he realizes he accidentally recorded Static Lace’s camera angle in slow motion, filling up the storage and almost derailing the whole episode. Technology is hard.

Recovery, rock music, bad poultry farming, questionable family rumors, and a host who still hasn’t mastered his own recording setup.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Dude, I uh I listened to your two singles that you have on Spotify. Sweet. And uh it's good, dude. It's really good. At first I was like, oh, she's a country artist? Like the first song, uh, or well, I guess the most recent song, the uh the the what was the name of it? It wasn't I it it was parentheses, I hate my dad.

SPEAKER_04 0:58

I hate my dad.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Um right on, yeah. Uh so when you the first like I don't know, maybe ten seconds or something, it's a cappella, right? And or maybe it's just guitar and singing.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Uh just guitar, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

And then I was like, oh I didn't I thought she was like a rock artist. And then it kicked in and I was like, oh sick, all right, cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

Yeah, we're still kind of experimenting, trying to figure out what works for us. Nice. I listen to all kinds of different music.

SPEAKER_06 1:23

So her favorite used to be like Taylor Swift, and now she's finally like grown into grunge, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Congratulations. I'm so I'm listening I just met you. I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Ryan's I know my.

SPEAKER_06 1:33

I've been training her for like six years now, seven years almost. Nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

Right, I know my finally wearing off. I'm like, no, dude, we're not listening to Taylor Swift no more. I'm crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Try to keep the mic just like uh you know, yeah, ish. A little closer. I always say like a white dick's length away. This is so stupid. I'm like, I I don't want to say a fist away because I'm like, you gotta be like way back here though. Three easy payments. No, uh so I mean she Taylor Swift's gotta have something that's good. I just never I I don't I don't listen to it, it's not made for me.

SPEAKER_04 2:06

I really appreciate her songwriting. I think she was the first artist that I ever really listened to. Okay, so I kind of grew up with her. So I was like, I wasn't really willing. I I don't know, I looked at the older music as like stuff my grandpa listened to. I was like, I'm not gonna like that. And now I'm like, wait, what was I what was I doing? Yeah, I love it. Why was I so embarrassed to like listen to it?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Yeah, I don't I I just I'm I can't I'm jealous of the people who have something that there's like a global phenomenon over, and I'm like, oh, it's not for me. It's like right, you know, like my daughter, my daughter's eight, and she has like very specific things she's obsessed with, and I couldn't give a fuck less about Jesse or the zombies movies, right? Like, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_06 2:51

I think they're literally K-pop demon hunters now.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

I know entirely way too much about it.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Yeah, I'm like jealous, I'm jealous of these, like, because it's c it's so clearly not for me that like I'm like, oh well, this is just something I'm never gonna give a fuck about. Right. But then I hear her singing, like, hey Jesse, you know, like singing every time a new episode starts, I'm like, oh god, like I wish I could be obsessed with something with her, you know.

SPEAKER_04 3:16

I I know it's it's so hard. And the stuff that's coming out nowadays is so weird. And it's like, I don't know if it was weird when we were kids too, but for sure.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

How old are you?

SPEAKER_04 3:24

Insane. I'm 27.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Okay, and you're I'm older, 42. Right on. Okay, so we for sure had some weird. I'm 32.

SPEAKER_11 3:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Uh we for sure had some weird ass shit. Like cow and chicken, cat, dog, fucking. I mean, what are you talking about? Ah, real monsters. There's like there's so many that were weird as fuck. Parents are all like word, there's like satanic symbolism or something.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Oh, they're into K-pop. All right, cool.

SPEAKER_06 3:54

Which is just and then you look back at the old stuff and it's like, oh, these had really good stories and like good morals and taught us good things. And some of them are a little crazy. The older weird stuff, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, I don't know, like Ren and Stimpy, was there morals in there?

SPEAKER_06 4:08

It's just that's a little different, just right, you know. That's like an MTV raunchy show, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:13

What oh, was it?

SPEAKER_06 4:14

Yeah, yeah. That was that was an MTV show. It was probably more like a Rick and Morty type thing, right? Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

Like an irreverent adult humor. Yeah. Animaniacs. Dude, there were so many good. We had so many good shows in the 90s. Incredible. Fuck yeah. So how many uh how many kids do you guys have? One, two, three.

SPEAKER_04 4:30

Uh three all together. Three? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Hell yeah. What are the ages? I also have three. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 4:36

Our oldest is 14. She just started freshman year this year, so high school. And then our son just turned five. Just uh what last week.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Having a five-year-old boy is the best thing on earth.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

Oh, he's wild.

SPEAKER_06 4:50

And then the middle girl, she's seven.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

Oh, we're done. Yeah, seven and a half, as she would correct you.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

Yeah. The half is important. Uh very, very important. Yeah, I have uh I have 12 going almost 13, uh 8 and 7. Oh, okay, pretty close. Yeah. And uh the six-year-old boy is just a joy, and the eight-year-old girl is fun in spurts, and the 12-year-old's a cunt. There's no other way to put it. He sucks. My 12-year-old is a dick, dude.

SPEAKER_06 5:23

My daughter was crazy for like 11, 12, but now she's like awesome. Yeah. So it's just maybe give it another year or two, hopefully. I I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

I don't know. He's a boy though. So I think I think like the shitty age is gonna be is gonna last a little longer. He's just like got a mustache, and he's just gonna like and I'm like, Elias, why didn't you wash the pot? Come on, man, you gotta wash the pot. You can't wash the whole sink, not the pot. Let's go. It doesn't need to soak. Nothing has ever needed to soak. Right. And then he's just like growling with his stupid little mustache.

SPEAKER_04 5:54

I don't know. Why do I have to do everything? Is it you don't do anything? Oh, dude.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

I love hearing that one. I have to do everything. You do you have to do everything? You have to do three things. Right, exactly. You have to wash your ass and do your one assigned chore. Yeah, that's it. Absolutely and show up to school and eat your food. Right.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

And it's like the worst thing in the world when you ask them. It's like World War III broke loose in my house. Yeah. Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Yeah. It's fucking weird. I see I it's so weird to me to have a kid in middle school because like I I feel like I'm just like I just got out of high school. You know what I mean? And like my kids, like my kid goes to a school where I used to like skateboard the stair set, you know. So I'm like, this is so weird. I'm almost said what school he goes to. I can't do that. What am I doing?

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Alright, I know.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Uh but yeah, like I I literally used to skate the stair set at that school, and I'm like, Mama kids goes there. That's so fucking weird.

SPEAKER_06 6:46

It's yeah, it's crazy. I was watching um Harry Potter the other day, like out at the hotel. It was like an old one that was on um Prisoner of Azkabon, I think it was that one. And it was like Gary Oldman's in there as um what is it, Sirius something? Okay, and he's like, I'm like, man, this guy looks old, you know. And I'm like, I wonder how old Gary Oldman is because he's been in so much stuff, he always looks different. And I look it up and he's like, you know, a few years older than me now in that movie, like back in 2004 or whatever it was, and I'm like, geez. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

Oh yeah, he's gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_06 7:16

And now he's like super old. Yeah, now he's like super old. It's just crazy how it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

I don't are you a big movie guy? Because we can go off the deep end.

SPEAKER_06 7:23

I mean, I've I've seen a bunch. Um I've always been in the movies.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Okay, so Gary, I think Gary Oldman is the most underappreciated character actor that exists.

SPEAKER_06 7:33

Yeah, I like I can even recognize it was him and Harry Potter. I was like, oh wait, this is Gary Oldman. Yeah, oh yeah, he looks different and everything.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

You look at his his his credits and you're like, how fucking how? How is he everything from like a serious detective to like a wacky fucking like what was that serial killer movie that he was in where he's like, oh Jesus Christ, you know what? We have technology. Let's just go straight to the IMDB page. All right, uh, instead of me trying to rack my high brain. Gary immediately googling shit. I love it. My my fiance page, who's normally here, is always making jokes like we gotta get a Jamie, you know. And I'm like, you can be the like you be him. You do the googling.

SPEAKER_06 8:21

Oh man. I just need something up here with uh some AI app now. Uh dude, I seriously just talk to that.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

See, I don't know. See, I I don't remember what the fuck I was looking for, but just like going through like Sid and Sid and Nancy, the uh he plays Commissional Gordon in the Dark Batman series. He's the fucking villain in the fifth element with the horrible haircut. Yep. Uh slow horses. He like he's like unrecognizable in every fucking. Leon the professional. I didn't know that was him. I until just now. Just now, yeah, probably. Dude, uh, yeah, god, I fucking love Gary Olden. Hell yeah. What do you uh which what's your what's your hobby? What's your rub?

SPEAKER_04 9:03

I mean, I listen to music. Uh mom, yeah. Yeah, I'm I'm a mom. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm not really into TV or anything. I have ADHD. I can't really sit there.

SPEAKER_06 9:12

I mean, she watches shows with me, I'll put stuff on.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

Yeah, I watch something if if he's there.

SPEAKER_06 9:16

See, we just finished uh a couple, what was it, Fallout we watched through. That was excellent. I was impressed by that. And then uh that night of the seven kingdoms. That I haven't watched.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

That one right off the bat freaked me out, and I was like, this is a good one.

SPEAKER_06 9:29

There's a couple weird episodes, but it was really the last couple were like some of the highest-rated episodes ever of anything. So it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

My my buddy was just telling me about this show and said that it was like an entire season of foreplay until the last two episodes, and the last two episodes just like all hellbreakers. Yeah, I haven't watched any of it though. I I I rewatched Game of Thrones like six months ago, so like I if I see a sword or armor, I'm like a fuck right off.

SPEAKER_06 9:52

I I don't think she's never seen Game of Thrones. We were watching House of Dragon before, too. So I've seen some of that.

SPEAKER_04 9:58

If you watched, I fell asleep pretty much every every episode.

SPEAKER_06 10:01

One of those women that just pass out when you turn a show on. That's exactly that is exactly every time Paige does the exact same thing.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

She likes to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_06 10:08

And for me, it's like if she's talking, I gotta pause it because I don't want to miss any lilac or anything, right? Like, why am I watching this if I'm not paying attention?

SPEAKER_04 10:16

But you talk over movies so much, you're like, well, why'd they do that? Well, that's different though. I'm paying attention.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

You know what, you know what I do that drives her nuts? Is uh is I'll say what's gonna happen next. I'm like, oh here we fucking go. I do that. Here comes the gun. And then she's like, fucking stop. And then I'm like fucking gun. It's always gonna be. Yeah, I took I took like one basic writing class in high school, and I was like, the one thing the one thing I remember is like if you introduce a gun in the first act, it's gotta be used by the end. And I so like every time there's like a threat of something happening, I'm like, when's that thing gonna happen? Here we go. So it absolutely drives Paige insane.

SPEAKER_06 10:57

I fucking but And then you like that uh what is it, the pit show we started watching.

SPEAKER_04 11:02

I do like the pit show.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

That one's intense. Yeah, yeah. My I I text my buddy and I was like, why the f like I was like, I'm fucking mad at you, and he's like, why? And I'm like, because you made me watch his fucking pit show, and now I'm like four hours into it on a weekday. I don't have time for that.

SPEAKER_04 11:17

I know I made my brother start re-watching it with me. I was like, we're not done the second season, but we can I was like, I can't watch it. I think it was mid-season because I remember pretty much everything from like the Which is the middle of one day. Oh, that's insane. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:34

Fucking oh, and you gotta make that uh sourdough. Oh, the sourdough source the baby Jane Dough sourdough or something we're gonna have to make. You know, some reference from the show, like oh the word.

SPEAKER_04 11:46

I name I have a sourdough starter and I name it. It was Dobie um before, and then what was the second one? I don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Paige is gonna be so sad that she missed this one just because you fall asleep during TV shows and that you're into sourdough.

SPEAKER_04 12:00

Oh my god, I I am I'm obsessed with sourdough. I was doing a little bake stand for a while. But with winter time, I was like, yeah, I don't need anyone busting their ass in my driveway and then suing me. I was like, I'm I don't make enough money from the bake stand for that. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Have you ever thought about doing like a farmer's market?

SPEAKER_04 12:16

I have, but there's a lot of rules in Michigan. Um, uh yeah, to be a cottage baker. So you can be a cottage baker, but you have like a whole long list of rules to follow. You can't sell in certain places, um you can't cook with certain ingredients or whatever, but um yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

What are you putting in your sourdough that you don't want to appear like follow the rules? Like cooking with arsenic?

SPEAKER_04 12:39

No, it's like use regular.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

That's how we save money on it, you know?

SPEAKER_04 12:42

Right, right. So you can't put like I love to do like cheddar jalapeno loaves. You can't do like cheddar jalapeno or so I can sell it from my porch as long as I'm like physically there to hand it off.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

I wonder because it's like a cheese, like it like it makes it parachute.

SPEAKER_04 13:01

I guess there's too many people before that were just baking it, putting it out, and people were getting really sick. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Yeah, I could see but I didn't think I liked sourdough because I'd only had like like diner sourdough.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

And then Paige's friend, uh Stephanie, got really into sourdough and like went off the deep end. So then she's like, I like she like she took classes and like she understands like the science of how it all goes. Oh yeah. She's got this like 300-year-old heirloom starter that like has been going nuts.

SPEAKER_04 13:31

Mine's 150 years old in France. I I ordered it off of Etsy, and every people are like, it really doesn't matter. I'm like, no, it's like baking trays and things, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:38

It's all just crazy.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Oh, yeah. All the fucking gadgets, all the the bowls with the finds all the stuff at like Salvation Army and stuff.

SPEAKER_06 13:44

Oh, look at this new sourdough thing I got.

SPEAKER_04 13:48

He's like, please stop baking bread. I'm trying to go on a diet or something. I'm like, no, here's more bread. You must eat it.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

If you're gonna eat bread though, it's like that's better. That's a better one to have for sure.

SPEAKER_04 13:57

It's health bread. And I feel like I'm eating healthy when I'm eating an entire loaf.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

I tell you what, so Paige used to make uh this like garlic, like real heavy garlic. I'm Lebanese, I know I don't look it, but like real heavy garlic sourdough bread. And I was just like fucking aw.

SPEAKER_06 14:12

And so like I've got garlic butter for it and stuff, dude.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Oh, you we we get the uh garlic expressions too just to like ruin my breath for a week. Oh yeah. But we'd uh I mean, my god, I can't think of anything better than like a slice of sourdough. I'm high and I'm starving, so this sucks. But uh a slice of sourdough and some like garlic expressions and a fried egg and some avocado on top of that, and then and then like hot sauce. Dude, there's not a better breakfast anywhere in the in the world than that. Euro meat on there. Some what? Some euro meat on there. Some euro meat. Oh, dude, you know what we did do that one time.

SPEAKER_05 14:47

Yeah, fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

Dude, we uh yeah, we started buying sliced euro meat that's frozen. Oh yeah, it feels like a sick.

SPEAKER_06 14:55

Do we still have some of that?

SPEAKER_04 14:56

No, I ate it. I was waiting for you to eat it. I was like, I know we got it from self, but it's been in here for like three months and I ate it.

SPEAKER_06 15:03

Yeah, it came with like pita bread and uh euro meat or something. That was a whole kit.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:07

Yeah, we're buying the same shit. Is there a spot to buy euro meat like fresh? Get a whole bone you got at your house and you're scraping it off. I mean, where do you get that?

SPEAKER_02 15:15

You don't even know for sure. You're not gonna want a lame leg at your house. Uh dude, I don't know. I mean, you go to any gas station on the east side, you can get it. Just buy.

SPEAKER_06 15:25

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

I don't know, man. There used to be Steve's back room out on the east side. There was uh Steve's back room was like a Lebanese grocery store, which was the shit. Uh, but they're closed down, man. So I don't know. Fucking uh I don't know. I haven't tried that honestly, like Meyer's pretty good, you know. Like they have like tabouli and hummus and galava. It's like it's all everything I need. You know, I'm if I'm feeling crazy, I might buy pre-rolled grape leaves and then just hope my mom doesn't find out so she doesn't get mad at her. I taught you that recipe. Yeah, fuck it, how dare you! You know, you yeah. So the fucking static lace. Uh yeah. So are you guys actively recording right now? You just put out you just put out this.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Let's put out a song.

SPEAKER_06 16:13

We've got like three or four close to done songs, too.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Yeah, and then uh I'm picky, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 16:19

She's she's written a bunch of stuff that we keep working through and yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

I think I drive him crazy. I'll like send him lyrics I've written and be like, here's another one you gotta work on with me.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a good thing to be picky though.

SPEAKER_04 16:32

You know, yeah, but I might be a little too picky.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Too picky? Well, I mean, you got you have two songs out.

SPEAKER_06 16:36

I was like, oh, it's fucking just trying to release them as we can and just get some footing, try to figure out our sound and sure.

SPEAKER_04 16:44

Yeah, just try to get out there a little bit, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

So yeah. Are you doing any shows or not yet?

SPEAKER_04 16:50

I um he's actually in another band too, Coldville. I'm actually wearing their merch.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

Coldville? Oh, right on. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 16:56

Um so I sang with them.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

You just made me look at your tits in front of your husband.

SPEAKER_06 17:00

That's really it was the show. I appreciate that. I'm Squirtle over here somewhere. I don't know, some Pokemon thing we made a while ago.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

When I was leaving, the kids are like, Why do you have Pokemon on mode?

SPEAKER_02 17:09

That's fucking dope, dude. I didn't even realize that because I was like, be respectful. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:15

Um, but yeah, that's that's sweet. That was like the only uh performance I've ever done so far. I mean, unless you count like the theater I did in high school.

SPEAKER_06 17:22

Karaoke nights. Yeah, yeah. Show off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Go up and see a lie and just fucking murder. Not really.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

But anytime there's an act, like a real singer show up to karaoke, it's like you realize how bad everyone else is.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Right. I know. It's my favorite thing ever.

SPEAKER_06 17:39

I feel like in Michigan, though, there's a lot of good singers a lot of times, but then there's just the horrible ones.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

There's the horrible ones that are like, holy shit. Like it gives you it's so bad that it gives you confidence enough to go up.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

You know what I will go do? Let me have a few more beers. I'll go up. I'll go do that song from A Star Is Born, and there's no fucking way I can sing these notes, but I'm gonna try it. Yeah, it's I got stuck. I I don't know why this somebody always does it. I got stuck singing that song. I I was going to a I was going to the CLI with a group of friends every Friday for like a year, and uh the the one of the girls in the group was like, I need to I want to sing this song every fucking time. I was the one that had to sing it with her, and I was like, This is not so I just started doing like these like cringy Eddie Vetter like impersonations Scottstab or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, dude, singing Creed too. That's like my MO. I can't say do it as a joke one time, and now everyone requests it if we go.

SPEAKER_04 18:38

That was what you did on the cruise.

SPEAKER_06 18:39

You did Creed with uh oh with Dan that other time? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:45

That was good. I feel like karaoke, you gotta find you gotta pick something fun. You guys gotta go have fun with it. Like you can't be trying to show off or anybody.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

Oh, you absolutely can show off. I I still think we went to uh we me and Paige went on vacation to Florida and there was a a cigar bar or something. Oh no, that wasn't at the cigar bar. That doesn't make sense. It was a regular bar. Anyway, uh a bunch of like mediocre singers, you know, like a typical karaoke night. And then a girl got up and sang Since You've Been Gone, but like nailed it, nailed it. Sweet. And I was like, damn. I still think about that. I'm like, that girl was so good, right? Right. She was like jumping and shit, like it was like a full-on performance. I was like, this fucking.

SPEAKER_06 19:21

Most of the time, they're just like some random girl who just sings in her car and never sang before besides karaoke once in a while, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:27

So I love it. I love it. It's like that I wish I have the same envy for like excellent singers as I do like piano players. Oh, you know, like some guy's just like walking through a fucking store and there's a piano and then he gets out of, you know, and just kills it. I'm like, oh, I wish I had that power. Like, how fun.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

That's even him when he plays guitar. I'm like, dang, I wish I could just get on a guitar and start playing like that. I'm like, it's crazy. Try to teach myself, I'm not patient enough for that.

SPEAKER_06 19:53

I gave up piano pretty quick, but I started that when I was like four, so it was okay. I mean, I pick it up and play chords. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

It's it's insane. He plays literally everything.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

I was gonna say, you guys, you so you said that it's just the two of you, but you have a full ensemble in the recording.

SPEAKER_06 20:07

So I have like an E kit, kind of like what you got over there. Right on, and then uh yeah, just use cube bass and nice MIDI stuff and yeah, that's all him. He's come up with all the the parts.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Yeah. Right on. And you don't you you're just singing, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

Yeah, I create the lyrics and melodies, and I sing it, and that's that's it. I make him do all the hard work. Although I have I have asked him, like, why don't you show me? And he's like, I don't know if I want to teach you, I'm not I'm not the best student.

SPEAKER_06 20:32

I've been recording since I was like 16 using these old like cool edit pro, I don't know, Adobe when they first came out with something. It was like the eight track where you'd record onto a cassette player and stuff. I mean, any old thing. Oh yeah. So it's hard to be like, okay, here's 20 some years of recording experience go. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

It's such a steep learning curve, too. Like, I mean, me and my brother uh were in bands together our whole lives, and you you want to record stuff because you want to share your songs, and then you're like, what the f you do the car test and you're like, why does this sound like shit? And then you go in a rabbit hole of all this information of like, oh, you not only recorded everything incorrectly, you mastered everything incorrectly.

SPEAKER_06 21:14

Right. Oh my god. Didn't process it through whatever.

SPEAKER_05 21:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Yeah. Oh, what am I why do my guitar sound weak? Well, you have one track. Okay, double the track panel left and right. That should fix it. Oop, phasing, and then it's like two mics on there. Yeah. Oops. Right. Yeah. It's like you can't just double you can't just like right-click and duplicate duplicate a fucking guitar track. You have to like actually record it twice so that the phasing doesn't cancel each other out.

SPEAKER_06 21:40

And then left and right, and then maybe third three or four more times. Who knows? Yeah, how how thick do you want this thing? Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

There's so there's so much. Me like me and him used to talk about like, dude, I spent twenty five years learning an instrument, trying to get excellent at it. Oh, yeah. And the way I rewarded myself was by giving myself another thing I have to get good at. Right. Stupid is that. But we never had I mean we're in bands.

SPEAKER_06 22:05

Now it's the whole like social media side that I just I mean my band with Coldville, it's like we're so past the social media that it's it's the hardest thing to do is get on and post stuff and try to get people to listen to your music and it's just that's the hardest part.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Yeah, that's the currency right now though, is the attention, right?

SPEAKER_06 22:25

So yeah, I mean you can pay for it all, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Right, right.

SPEAKER_06 22:28

Well, if you you know you're saying like pay for views on or whatever, fake streams, or you're putting money into something hoping that people hit on it, but yeah, but even that the page shit's all fake anyway.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Like my brother uh is trying to compose music now for like movies and TV, and and so he was like paying for ads, and he's like, dude, I got like 25,000 views on this. And I'm like, okay, like how do you verify that? Like your audience is still like a thousand people. Like, how do you how do you know that any one of those people are the real people could be VPN locations too, right? Right, yeah, it's like oh, this is all fake fucking like Somali phones that like no one's watching. You just paid TikTok 30 bucks or whatever for like two days. It's I don't know. Like we post I I post so relentlessly for the podcast, and I'm like, you never know what's gonna get views, right? You just gotta post a fuckload.

SPEAKER_06 23:25

Well, I had that one video on my dog who like got a dingleberry on her ass. And it's got two million views or something.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

Like, I'm like, it's always the video.

SPEAKER_06 23:33

It's the only one that like gets any views.

SPEAKER_04 23:35

It's always the video that you recorded in two seconds. It's like the crappiest quality, and all of a sudden it like went viral. And you're like, are you fucking serious?

SPEAKER_02 23:43

That's hilarious. You're dying so what was the video like you're dogging it?

SPEAKER_06 23:46

You're like just recording like she was in the yard, like running around weird. I'm like, what is she doing? I got the phone out. I'm like, why is she like trying to bite her ass, you know? And like, and then there's a part of the video I got in like slow motion where she's like running up the deck and like trying to bite the turd off her ass, you know, coming in the house. And didn't she come in the house? Yeah, she came in the house with it hanging, and I'm like pulling it off. Everybody's screaming. Oh my god. This is all in the video. No wonder I got a millions of. Why are you yelling at your dog? You know, people are like, You're so mean. I'm like, okay, dude.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Yeah, just funniest comments. So speaking of dogs and dingleberries, we I I watched my mother-in-law's Chihuahua, like, you know, whatever. They went on vacation or something, so we had to watch the Chihuahua. And uh he within like an hour of being at our house, he threw up, he pissed on the floor. Like, I I I went into my son's room to like chew him out because he didn't take care of a chore that he was supposed to take care of. So I'm like, listen, man, you gotta be accountable, you gotta do your job. You know, like if you were an employee, like I'm like ripping into him, I'd fucking fire you, you know, like blah blah blah. You need to think in these terms, and then the yeah, and then her the Chihuahua walks buster. He walks in the room and just pisses on the floor while he stares at both of us. Oh no, I wouldn't know. I was like, what the fuck, dude? So like I pick him up and I run, he's pissing still. I run him outside, put him on this back step, and I'm like, so I clean up like 40 yards of piss. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:10

And I'm like, should have just let him sit there and finish, right? And then at that point, Paige.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

What is that noise?

SPEAKER_06 25:18

Oh, it's not like an airplane or something.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

Uh and then so and Paige gets home and she puts him up on the couch, and he like gets up. He he has an enlarged heart that pushes on his trachea. So like he like if he gets excited, he's like starts hacking on his own like throat. So he's just like relentlessly, and he throws up on our couch, and I'm like, motherfucker, you know, like there's another bodily fluid, yeah. Like, all he's gonna, you know, and uh so at the end of the night, we're getting ready to go to bed, and she goes, she goes to grab him to put up him up on our bed. And I'm like, no, absolutely not. I'm not doing she's like, Well, he's never gonna calm down, he's gonna be hacking all night if he doesn't get to lay in the bed. I'm like, I don't give a fuck, he is not sleeping in my bed. And she picks him up. I was like, he has a literal, he has a fucking dingleberry. Do not put him in our bed.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

So she leaves for like 30 seconds and comes back and he's wrapped up in a dish towel.

SPEAKER_06 26:11

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 26:11

And I'm like, are you thinking putting him in the dish towel in our bed? I'm like, absolutely fucking not. She sets him down and like within half a second, he's unwrapped out of the dishwag and in our bed. Dingleberry is everywhere. Oh my god. Like, get him the fuck. So she went and slept on the couch in our bar with the dog. I slept like a baby.

SPEAKER_06 26:30

I couldn't, I was like, Yeah, we have two cats and two dogs in our bed every night.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

It's what kind of dogs?

SPEAKER_04 26:36

A Pomski and a lab.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Okay, so one big dog and then the body.

SPEAKER_04 26:44

She will just spite us for the rest of her life.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Do you want her to die?

SPEAKER_04 26:47

No, I love her so much, but sometimes I'm like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Like, you do things just to make me mad at this point.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

Yeah. What uh how old are the dogs?

SPEAKER_04 26:59

Uh, how old is Storm now?

SPEAKER_06 27:00

So Storm is like six, coming up on seven this year, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

Is that the Pomsky dog? That's the Pomsky, yep.

SPEAKER_06 27:06

Okay. The Dingleberry dog.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Yep. Yeah, she she's a mess, man. She's a hot mess.

SPEAKER_06 27:12

And then we got a chocolate lab Eevee. She's just over a year. Right now. Oh, Poppy's still. Yeah. She's like full size now. Crashing into walls and shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

She does not understand. She thinks that she's the size of our Pomsky. So she's like, she does not understand. She comes barreling through and knocking things off the wall. People come over, she's like taking out small children. I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

No, yeah, it's not.

SPEAKER_04 27:33

I'm like, okay, you got you gotta go outside or in your cage right now. You can't take out the small children. At Halloween, she was trying to go after all the trick-or-treaters because she had never seen a kid in a costume. So she was like Hilarious. What are you?

SPEAKER_02 27:46

I gotta smell you to figure this out. Dude, I something like Biden. Um that is fucking hilarious. I do, I I I love stupid dogs so much. The uh sorry I had to sniff whatever get a feel for. The uh we our friend our friend has a chocolate lab who's a giant moron, and they named him Toast. And I'm like, that's just the perfect name. Oh my god, toast it's the perfect name for a fucking idiot. Like he just and he's a service, he's a service dog for the school. So he just like, I don't know. I'm like, how do you have such a fucking? I thought service animals were supposed to be like perfectly trained. Yeah, they're the standard, right? Like if he could speak English, he'd just be like, you know, like oh dude, just a fucking idiot.

SPEAKER_04 28:30

Oh my god. I mean, that's for the most part how Evie is. She's just she's just a big dog.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

I think it's a chocolate lab thing. I don't know if there is a correlation, but I feel like every chocolate lab I've ever had or seen.

SPEAKER_06 28:44

Oh yeah, they're identical, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:45

Yeah, I've had like three labs now, and they're all I'm like, she's just a baby, she's just a big baby.

SPEAKER_06 28:51

They think they act stupid, and then when you're gone, they're that's when they're smart trick you. They're like, oh yeah, I'm gonna get that garbage and eat all the food and get on the counter.

SPEAKER_11 28:59

All the dog food.

SPEAKER_06 28:59

I'll get everything. Yeah, and I'll pretend I'm stupid when I'm around you.

SPEAKER_11 29:02

Oh, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_06 29:03

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Yeah, dude, my uh my ex sister, uh, we were at dinner at her house, and we we just finished cooking, we sat down at the dinner table, and her yellow lab Bella jumped up onto the couch, and we were all watching this happen. I don't know why we were all looking, but she jumped up on the couch and just went and knocked over and broke a lamp. We were like, what the fuck? You know, we got babies there, so we're like running over and we gotta go clean it up. So I'm like cleaning up all these shards of like porcelain and stuff, and then the dogs on top on top of the table, all four, is eating all of our dinners.

SPEAKER_11 29:38

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

I'm like that clever little bitch, right? I'm like, oh, she broke a lamp because she just whatever we made, she's like, I have to have that. She's like, I'm going down for the cause. I I wouldn't have thought of a fucking two-step thing like that.

SPEAKER_06 29:52

Brilliant. I had this uh straight husky, right? And I had a lab at the time too.

SPEAKER_04 29:57

Straight as compared to gay?

SPEAKER_06 29:58

No, like full husky. Okay. I was like, and uh, she was like the smartest dog in the world, and this thing could get in and out of anything. Like I had three separate cages that it chewed through, and then I got a metal cage that it broke through. I have no idea how. And this is all every time I'm gone for work or whatever, right? And um, it got when it got out, it would get into every cabinet, the fridge, the freezer it got into one time. Like it got like a bag of uh like raw chicken breasts from Costco, like a big giant bag, and just all gone. You know, just ate them all up one time.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Just like no idea how we have a we have a golden retriever husky mix. He's uh he's like he's black, white, and brown with one brown eye, one blue eye. Oh and he's he's beautiful.

SPEAKER_06 30:50

That's our our Pomsky has the two different eyes too. Yeah, nice.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Yeah, he uh he is a fucking menace to our lives. Like he he's gotten a lot better, but my god, he is he is I mean, we built our old house had a six-foot privacy fence, and something was happening, and he just was like, I'm gonna jump this to go figure it out. Just jumped a six-foot fence. Yeah, and we tried to see him do it, and we just never did. And then uh we we never got to see him actively do it, but we we were leaving one day and we were pulling we we thought he was getting under the fence.

SPEAKER_06 31:23

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

And uh, but I like I walked through the whole perimeter of the yard. I'm like, there's nowhere, like everything is like an inch away from the ground. There's no way he's getting there's nowhere for him to squeeze through in between the houses, like jammed tight, like there's nowhere. And we we backed out of the driveway and we were pulling down the street, and I stopped real hard. And Paige's like, what the fuck? And I'm like, look at the top of the fence. And there was like three boards like broken over. I'm like, that motherfucker is jumping the top of the fence. And then we uh we bought uh we bought a house in town here, and uh, I built a privacy fence, and it we the city sued us because it had to be like a four foot four foot fence. And we built it six foot after we called and asked, and they're like, Yeah, six foot, nothing sharp up top, cast to be made out of wood or met uh or you know, wrought iron or whatever. And we're like, all right, sick, easy enough. Yeah, vinyl too, and uh nothing sharp on top. And I was like, okay, cool. I'm just gonna build a wood privacy fence, easy peasy. And then we built it and then we got sued.

SPEAKER_06 32:26

Oh for uh we have a six-foot vinyl fence we didn't I put in, I didn't have a problem, but I'm on a main road.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

That was the rub.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Oh okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

That was the rub. I didn't we didn't know that there was a caveat, but then when the township sued us, they were like, you know, you can you cut it down to four feet. And I was like reading through their like PDF and Paige is like, let's go on a war path. We're gonna do we're gonna apply for a fucking, you know, a variance and we're gonna we're gonna do all this because the dog needs privacy, the kids need privacy, and like the dog's gonna like jump over two foot fence or four foot fence easy.

SPEAKER_06 32:59

Oh yeah, easy when I was reading in the still can, but a little harder. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

When we were so I was reading in the PDF of like the bylaws, and I was like, oh that we're on a main road, it's actually supposed to be like three foot fence on a main road. So I was like, we should just shut the fuck up and take our medicine.

SPEAKER_06 33:17

Right. And uh yeah, my husky would jump. We had a six-foot fence and no problem, no problem getting over it. Like I saw it like two or three times. I wish I would have got to I wish it was it wouldn't it never really did it when I was there, but if I like walked inside and I looked out the window and it was still out, like then I then I that's when he would then he's just like sitting on the front porch.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

You're like, how the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 33:37

Yeah, well no, she'd just take off down the street and oh okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:40

So we've I've been pretty lucky in that.

SPEAKER_06 33:42

She didn't stay around when she got out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

We've we've been lucky in that sense. When he gets out, he just like wants to like check the yard. I'm sure it's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_06 33:49

Storm could jump the fence. I don't know why she doesn't try.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

Yeah, Storm used to jump everything. She used to get out when we first moved in, she was getting out of the fence. But now she comes back, she doesn't go far. I think she might be scared now.

SPEAKER_06 34:01

Good. Maybe when the cat or cat went missing, maybe she's like, Oh, I don't want to go missing too. Well, it was funny because she got she No we it was she was like an um oh he was an outdoor catdoor cat and we brought him from my house in Muskegon we were at before. And uh he was I mean he was around for what four years?

SPEAKER_04 34:22

Yeah, he was around for a long time.

SPEAKER_06 34:24

And it's like Halloween happened, and then we just kind of think somebody might have picked him up at Halloween. Hopefully that's what happened.

SPEAKER_04 34:32

Um But he was also getting a lot older, and a lot of times when cats do die, they will go hide somewhere. Yeah, go find a safe place to um growing up, we had a lot of feral cats, a lot of outside cats who used to train the feral cats and find them homes and stuff, and it was just so he's chip too, so if he ever got like picked up, we should have got a call, but no idea.

SPEAKER_06 34:53

How long ago is speculate? Almost two years ago, right? Or was it a year from October? Almost two, yeah. Yeah, next year and a half, yeah. Next October.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

My dad uh we had a we had a we had a cat um growing up and my dad you know met his wife and then they moved in together across town, you know, and during the move, the cat got lost. Like they were like, did he run out the door? Did he get in the car and then escape out? Yeah, yeah, you know, whatever, and and he just just disappeared. It sucks. It sucks not having closure, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 35:27

Like knowing what happened, at least.

SPEAKER_04 35:28

Like and and it sucked because I tried so hard to get him to just stay inside and be an indoor cat. And he was like destroy our doors and everything. Scratch and trying to think he had always been an outdoor cat. And so I finally let him back out and he just goes missing. I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_06 35:43

That's the thing I figured if so, horrible. Somebody do p does pick him up, it's like, well, he's not gonna want to stay in their house. Like he's probably gonna get out and come back.

SPEAKER_04 35:50

In every language, I swear to god, when I try to keep him in that house, he was like, Fuck you, let me outside. I run these streets, I have five different homes to go to for food. Right.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

Yeah, that one lady feeds me too. Yeah, that was a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 36:02

Oh, yeah, he was like the star of our neighborhood. They would always message him and be like, I hope you don't mind. I fed him again. I'm like, this is his like fifth dinner tonight. I don't think he needs anything else. Just turn it into gurf.

SPEAKER_06 36:15

If he made him fat enough, he wouldn't have escaped. Right. He wouldn't have got too far. He wasn't never really fat either.

SPEAKER_04 36:20

He was starting to get a little chunky.

SPEAKER_06 36:22

One of our cats is like the fattest cat in the world. And he's only like a year old.

SPEAKER_04 36:25

Yeah, we've got two indoor cats now. Um, our one cat is our son's best friend. Him that we call him fatty because he's just he's huge. So we'll be out.

SPEAKER_06 36:34

Not his name though.

SPEAKER_04 36:35

Well, yeah, his name is Eros, but we'll be out at the store, and my son will just be walking through the house going, Oh, I miss my fatty, just fat. And he's just saying fatty, like as loud as possible, and people are giving us looks and like, oh, I swear to God, he's not talking about any of you guys. I'm like, dude, shut up. You're gonna get me beat up, dude.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

Speaking of, dude, my oldest, when he was five years old, he he he would call people he didn't know by the color of their shirts.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

So he'd be like, Where'd the black guy go?

SPEAKER_00 37:03

And I'm like, hey, right, don't say that.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

Where's the tan guy? Where's the red guy? I'm like, dude, yellow guy? But like, stop. Everything you're saying is problematic.

SPEAKER_04 37:12

I know they just they just know exactly what to say. And you're like, oh my gosh, I swear I'm raising good human. Like, it doesn't sound like it's the right thing.

SPEAKER_06 37:20

Did you say he was calling a lady fat though the other day, too, or something?

SPEAKER_04 37:23

Oh, yeah, when we were on the cruise, he's um yeah. Or wait, which one are you talking about? I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 37:29

I thought I remember you at the grocery store or something, maybe. He was calling some random like some big big person was fatty.

SPEAKER_04 37:36

He's had too many instances, okay? He was behind like a bigger lady at on a cruise we were on, and he was just like, he just screamed fatty. And I was like, but he meant his cat, he just didn't get all the words out. He wanted, he meant to say, I miss my fatty. And this lady turned around and looked at me, and I was like, Please don't beat me up. And then we were getting out of the hot tub up north one day, and there was a bigger guy getting out, and he looks at me like super loud, hot tub's full, and he goes, Mommy, why is that guy so big? I was like, dude, I was like, I am not teaching you this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Stop it.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

Tell you what, if that got in his head, he might have your son might have saved his life. Right, maybe you know, I gotta lose weight. That kid thinks I'm huge.

SPEAKER_06 38:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

Oh my god. And it's just like they don't just stop at that when you're like, hey, that's not appropriate. They just keep going. They're like, but why is calling somebody fat not appropriate that they are? And they're like, oh my gosh, just stop.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

My son, my son said something about my youngest said something about somebody being fat the other day at the dinner table, and Paige started to correct him. I was like, mm-mm, stop. No, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Like you bullying a fat guy is probably good for him. As long as your like intention is right, you know. I mean, maybe not like a middle schooler. Don't make him suicidal or something. Don't make him suicidal, but like, hey man, you're like not looking for a few.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

I don't see anything wrong with that. Call call fake. I dude, I I lost a hundred pounds last year. Oh, congrats. Thanks. And uh still fat. The uh I was like fat, I was giving my buddy shit. I was like, you didn't tell me you're supposed to be my friend. I didn't even know. And he's like, he's like, oh, zero accountability, huh? Like, it's my fault that you got fat. I'm like, it's you it's your fault you didn't tell me. You could have let me know. I had no idea I was getting fat as fuck.

SPEAKER_04 39:25

Oh my gosh, that's alright. I gained some weight right before we went to Mexico, and I was like, I was telling him, I was like, why didn't you tell me I was gaining weight? And he's like, Am I really gonna tell you?

SPEAKER_02 39:33

What am I supposed to do?

SPEAKER_11 39:34

You're gonna complain?

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Yeah, what's your problem? All the squishy bits get softer.

SPEAKER_04 39:37

Like he's like, I value my life, not trying to die in my sleep, okay?

SPEAKER_02 39:41

I'm just trying to. I'm getting married in uh in September, so I'm like, I'm just trying to be good looking for the pictures, and then the rails are off. I'm gonna be using a walker in like a year and a half. What's your guys' date? September 26th.

SPEAKER_04 39:52

Okay, yeah. This is the 9th of September, yeah. Our wedding anniversary.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

Yeah. You're that that is your anniversary? Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:03

September 9th is our wedding anniversary.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Right on. How long have you guys been married?

SPEAKER_04 40:07

Do you know? Three years.

SPEAKER_06 40:09

She forgot our second year she thought it was our year.

SPEAKER_04 40:11

She's been married for longer. I think it's a gift that you've just you've been driving me crazy for longer. Bye. No, I swore up and down at two years. I was like, it's no, it's three years.

SPEAKER_06 40:20

It probably would have been like two more if COVID didn't happen. Because we were like gonna get married for COVID year, and then all the like all the stuff that was booked got pushed a year, and then all the venues were booked that next year, so we couldn't even go till the following year. Oh man. It was kind of like a two-year delay for a marriage. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of weird.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

It's a good, it's a good, it's a good period to feel it out and be like, are we sure? Yeah, because 2020 we had a majority time.

SPEAKER_06 40:50

We're like, Oh, let's just have a kid now, so we don't have to wait for that, I guess. I don't want to wait two years and have a kid.

SPEAKER_04 40:55

Then we had all of our kids at the wedding, so it it was nice. Yeah, it's awesome. We were all involved and got the cutest little pictures of them. Now it feels like they were just like little babies. My gosh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:08

Dude, uh, yeah, we're we're still talking about like whether the kids are gonna be involved or not. Like, oh yeah. Like she Paige keeps trying to get me to agree to have my oldest be the best man, and I was like, well, if I do that, then everybody has to be something important. So I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_04 41:24

Yeah, I don't think we really I mean, kind of. I did junior bridesmaids, so I think my daughter was the flower girl, our oldest was a junior bridesmaid, and then our son was the ring bearer. But other than that, I was like, we're not having any other kids at the wedding. I was like, I barely want mine there. I was like, I love them to death, but I barely want mine there.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. My my ex will be picking up the kids halfway through the wedding. That's what you gotta do. Like, or like you know, whatever, like after after dinner. Because they don't care anyways.

SPEAKER_04 41:51

They're like, I want to go home, play video games or you know, do whatever kids do nowadays.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

Right. Yeah. I'm excited, dude. I'm actually getting married. We're uh well, we're getting married at a golf course. Okay, that's all I'll say, I guess. But close by? Yeah, far. Northern north of here, like a half hour.

SPEAKER_03 42:09

All right, cool.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

Yeah, I'm excited, dude. It's uh I it's way nicer than I would have picked. Like I am trashy, so I was like, let's go. Whatever's cheap, let's lay down like tongue and groove plywood in the backyard.

SPEAKER_04 42:21

That's kind of how I was too when we were looking at venues. I was like, I don't really care about that.

SPEAKER_06 42:24

She's from Philly, so we were like in the middle. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 42:27

Yeah, my family, like, we're all we're all like trailer drash, and his family is more like put together. And so I was like, okay, maybe we should choose a nicer venue.

SPEAKER_02 42:35

Yeah. We so we were looking at we looked at Canterbury Village, which is like mini Frankenmouth near us here, you know, in uh or like mini Bavaria. And we thought it was so overpriced, and then we did like we looked at like a hundred other places. I was like, oh, that was the most reasonable. It's insane, but then we were like, nah, we're not doing it here because it wasn't the food sucked.

SPEAKER_06 42:57

And my cousin had like the best wedding. He um I think he was like Memorial Day or some some weekend, right? And the whole family's over at his house and grilling out, and then he like grabs his brother, he's like, Hey, everybody pay attention. This is my best man. We're getting married right now. Like nobody knew, like it was a total surprise. All the family was at the house and just had a pastor there do the ceremony.

SPEAKER_02 43:20

Yeah, that's fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_06 43:21

No, no cost. I love that. Done.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

Yeah, I love that. Dude, that's one thing I heard this is so stupid, but I heard uh I was listening to Chance Rapper album, and he has a he has in that album he had a song where he's like the lyric is uh I don't want anybody at my wedding that won't be there for the marriage. Right. And I was like, damn.

SPEAKER_06 43:42

I was like, we should just I mean they're all there hearing your vows, they should hold you accountable and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:48

But like I have so much family that is getting invited out of obligation that I know we'll not like half of the people going to our like half of the people on my side haven't even met my fiance, and we've been together around four years. So it's like, what are we doing here? Like, why why do I have to invite well their siblings? Okay. I haven't seen them in fucking four years.

SPEAKER_04 44:10

He's like, well, I have to invite this person because I talked to them one time. And I was like, no, we don't have to wait for the city.

SPEAKER_06 44:14

We have close family growing up with my cousins and stuff. So it's like if you haven't talked to them, it's an excuse to see emerging.

SPEAKER_04 44:19

I was like, don't invite them. You know? They should be talking to you on a more than a yearly basis, you know.

SPEAKER_02 44:25

Right. Yeah. If I cut out, well, if I cut out everyone that I was like a little bitter about, I'm like, God, I fucking have like six people. Oh, yeah, I'd have nobody. I fucking yeah. Maybe I should just everyone you had a fight with?

SPEAKER_06 44:36

Yeah, we'd have nobody at a wedding.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

Although looking back, I'm I question it. I'm like, dang, I really wish they weren't in my wedding pictures.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

Yeah, yeah, I know. Dude, well, that and having family members that are like, ooh, what mood are they gonna be in that season? Yes. Like, oh fuck. Is it gonna be one of those or is it gonna be good? I guess we'll see.

SPEAKER_04 44:56

I know that was me. I was like watching my grandmother the whole night. I'm like, please don't fist fight anybody. You have a record.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

Your grandmother?

SPEAKER_04 45:01

Oh yeah, my grandmother is absolutely wild. At my aunt's wedding, I guess uh this was like back in the 90s before I was born, but I guess that she was rolling on the ground, fist fighting um my aunt's mother-in-law.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:14

Because she's just like, I I don't like her. Like, no, no other reason except they just did not like each other and didn't want their kids getting married.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

Dude, I fucking love that. My grandma is so the opposite of that that I'm like jealous.

SPEAKER_04 45:26

Mine was never warm and fuzzy. She was like, You're a fucking idiot. What are you doing? My whole life.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

I love it. That's who I want to be in my grandma. She's hilarious. My grandma is four feet tall. She has a blonde afro, and she is so religious that if you say fuck in front of her, she might faint. Oh man. Dude, my favorite thing. Okay, speaking of grandmas and and weddings, this is my favorite thing ever. I there's I only ever lie if it's gonna make people laugh eventually. So we were at a we were at a wedding, and uh, you know, my half of the family's on this side, they're half, you know, their my cousin's bride's side is on the other side. And the first time we all start mingling is like on the dance floor, right? And uh so I'm like, I'm sauced up, I'm dancing, my grandma's dancing, and then like one of the bride's relatives, you know, dances and she they're like, Oh, you guys are so cute. Look at your grandma just cutting up a rug out here or whatever. And like my grandma kind of like inched away and I go, Yeah, she's cool, but she's super fucking racist. And like just a warrant.

SPEAKER_06 46:35

And she's like, uh, well, I guess that comes with the age, you know. And I was like, different time, yeah. Exactly. Like for freedom, maybe, you know.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

And she's like, she's like, oh, well, I mean, it's that age, and you know, some people are just raised different, but she looks like she's having fun out there, and she my grandma fucking boogies on over, and she goes, Matt, you're not gonna believe what I just saw. I just saw two boys kissing at the dance floor. Like, I could not have fucking like sat my grandma up to like validate my lie anytime.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

I would have lost it.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

I was laughing so fucking hard. Like perfect, yeah. Dude, it was be it was like a sitcom.

SPEAKER_06 47:13

It was like we had uh my buddy Dan, he had brought two girlfriends that he was like dating. Two girls at the same time, right?

SPEAKER_01 47:21

I remember you asking me because like can my move on each other? It was like, can my butt break this?

SPEAKER_06 47:25

Yeah, they were all friends, and I was like, hell yeah. Why? And people kept, you know, that's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_04 47:32

I was like, how is he managing two of them? I can't.

SPEAKER_06 47:34

I feel bad for some of my buddies. I put at their table because he's like, you don't kiss at both your buttons. They're like, What's all just surprise you if you're at a table with something you don't know and you're like, what?

SPEAKER_02 47:44

Kissing two different drinks on the bottom.

SPEAKER_04 47:46

I got people coming up to us, they're like, is he cheating?

SPEAKER_06 47:49

And then the two girls kiss, you know, it's like, oh, what's going on here?

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Yeah. All of a sudden I'm a fan. I was like, what the fuck? And then you said that. Okay, it's all, yeah, it's all, yeah, they're all that's ridiculous. I had uh I've I got a I have a buddy as well, Brandon. What's up, dude? Uh he had six girlfriends at once and one point in his life. Did they know about it? They eventually all knew about each other, and they were like, they would like talk to each other and like figure out the schedule of like who gets what day, and then like who gets the premium day, who gets Saturday night, or whatever. And I was like, this is the most ridiculous shit I've ever heard in my life. And uh he's like, he's eventually he cut all that shit.

SPEAKER_06 48:29

So he was the Mormon you're talking about earlier.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

He is a six-foot-tall, skinny black dude. He looks like Gerard Carmichael, maybe with with dreads, handsome guy, but so no, not Mormon. Not Mormon, but I think uh he told me this like villain origin story where he said that he like he told his brother that he had his first threesome. Like he's like, Oh, I had a threesome. And his brother was like, Oh, you think you're finally doing something? And it's just like his villain origin story where he's like, Oh, I'm gonna tear through all of Metro Detroit now. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 49:04

Where it started.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

Dude, he's his stories are fucking. I should have him on. He's his stories are fucking ridiculous. He uh just have him rap something and make some music. I don't know, whatever. Dude, he his stories are fucking insane. He he uh we had a for for my birthday, we had a guitar hero tournament at our at our bar in our in a we have a basement bar, and uh him and his brother showed up and he they just absolutely destroyed us. Like they were playing on expert, and all of us were like fucking eating shit. But he was telling me that he was like, Oh, you know, I was gonna try to practice because I have some guitar hero stuff, but none of my consoles are working. I'm like, what are you talking about? He's like, Yeah, like broke up with this fucking nurse that I was banging, and she's got and she stomped on all of my consoles before like I like went to bed and before she left, she went like took everything out and fucking stomped on every console.

SPEAKER_06 49:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

Like, that's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_06 49:56

That's too bad. Should have broken up with her, man.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

Yeah, that's what you get for breaking up with a fucking Filipino girl.

SPEAKER_06 50:01

Don't do it in your own place. Jeez, that was dumb.

SPEAKER_04 50:03

Yeah, and I took apart my ex's car after I broke up with him. So I did. We were living in North Carolina, and so we were living in North Carolina, but we had gone back to Pennsylvania to get our stuff. And on the way back, he calls like a really severe accident, and I was in ICU, and I actually left him in the hospital, and I was like, word on. But I went back and his Honda was sitting there, and he had like an N NRG or whatever, like quick release steering wheel, took that off and sold that shit, took all the rims off, sold that shit. He had subs in the back, took that off, sold that. And he called me and he's like, I'm coming to get my car. And I was like, Alright, come get what's left of it. Holy shit. And like he wasn't registered, like he didn't have a title, he like couldn't do anything about it. He was pretty pissed. Holy fuck.

SPEAKER_02 50:45

You know this is going on the internet, right?

SPEAKER_04 50:46

Yeah, that's no, that's totally fine. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

He's grieved.

SPEAKER_01 50:49

Oh, I've I've put that on the internet before drugs.

SPEAKER_06 50:52

He's grieved if I'm if I'm missing or dead, you'll know that we broke up. She killed me.

SPEAKER_02 50:57

So she took the wheel, you know, she loosened the lug nuts on your car. Dude, so okay, so you said he caused a severe accident. How did he cause it?

SPEAKER_04 51:06

So we were driving down the highway, it was probably like 2 or 3 a.m.

SPEAKER_02 51:09

Um sauced up, like leaving a bar kind of deal.

SPEAKER_04 51:12

No, I mean, I was stoned. He was on heroin. So we were fighting.

SPEAKER_02 51:17

Typical Pennsylvania activities.

SPEAKER_04 51:18

Uh yes, yeah, pretty much, pretty much.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

Nothing to do there but look at the hills on heroin. I get it.

SPEAKER_04 51:23

Yeah, the funny fold.

SPEAKER_06 51:25

She's got stories if you want to get into it. That's why we're here.

SPEAKER_04 51:28

Um, but anyway, so we're driving, he was like super high. We were arguing because I was like, you know, I thought that we were done with this shit. Like, what are you doing? Um, you know, plenty of other stuff. We were screaming at each other. I made him get out of the car on the highway at one point, walked, and then I kind of like pulled off, let him get back in. Um while we were arguing, he took the wheel from me and we had swerved off to the side. We rolled three times. Fuck's sake. Luckily, somebody was driving by. It was this, I'll never forget her. It was like this little tiny little black lady, no idea why she was driving at that time of night, but she stopped and she called 911. Um, she stayed with me until the ambulance came. And keep in mind, I'm like freaking the fuck out. I had a little Yorkie in my car. And I'm just like, she's like, ma'am, you need to stay calm. You're bleeding out, like you're bleeding out. And I'm like running around, like, where's my Yorkie? I need my Yorkie.

SPEAKER_10 52:15

Did you get you get the dog back?

SPEAKER_04 52:16

Yeah, so the police showed up, and the police were like, you know, they're asking me all these questions. I was like, dude, my dog. And they called the dog to shut me up because all I was talking about was this goddamn dog. Um, they took her to the pound and I ended up getting her back. Um, but given my circumstances, I ended up getting re-homing her to a friend. Um, but yeah, the ambulance showed up. They took us to a hospital in Virginia because we were actually driving through Virginia at the time. Um, and I guess Richmond, it was like a trauma center. And I was there for about a week and then you were able to go to the pit. I know, I know. Well, that's what the show reminds me of is like being in the hospital and the trauma center.

SPEAKER_02 52:53

You were you were in a trauma center for a week. So what were your injuries?

SPEAKER_04 52:56

So I had a broken rim that I guess was causing some bleeding, but other than that, I was just like extremely banged up from just like soft tissue damage all over the room. Yeah, I mean, I was shocked that my face like actually healed without any surgery. I mean, my whole nose, like all the skin was ripped off in my nose. Holy fuck. It was like my lips were like completely split. It was, it was, it was a- from bouncing around in the car.

SPEAKER_02 53:16

Did you have a belt on?

SPEAKER_04 53:17

I had my seatbelt on. I actually got stuck upside down. I couldn't get my seatbelt off. Um, I still don't know. I guess the police said it was just like adrenaline. I guess I ended up ripping my seatbelt off and crawling out the the car, like ripped off. So I ended up crawling out the top.

SPEAKER_11 53:32

Holy.

SPEAKER_04 53:33

And then I went, my ex at the time, he like he completely dislocated like his entire shoulder and collarbone. Like he had bone sticking out. I pulled him out of the car, and it was like the most gruesome thing I've actually seen in like real life. It was insane.

SPEAKER_02 53:46

But holy shit.

SPEAKER_04 53:48

After that, I saw him once in the hospital and I was like, we're done. The hospital basically told me that he said, Hey, we'll pay for a bus ticket to get you back to North Carolina, but you have to leave him here. If you choose, if you make the decision to stay with him, and we're not, we're not helping you out. And I don't know, I actually think the nurse like personally paid for a bus ticket. I'm not sure. I'm so grateful for her. I believe it. She sent me on my way, and I got on the bus. I got on a Greyhound bus with no bra, no shoes, hospital scrubs, and I went back to North Carolina.

SPEAKER_06 54:19

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_04 54:20

It was it was crazy.

SPEAKER_06 54:21

Shoot the story on the pit. That'd be a good next season, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 54:24

I will never forget the looks I got from people getting on this great. Like, people thought that I was like some crackhead that like my hair is like a mess. I'm just like all bloody still because I didn't wash myself in the hospital. I was just like, get me the fuck out of here. I'm ready to be discharged.

SPEAKER_02 54:38

So they uh so the nurse was advocating for you to leave. Oh yeah, she was she was great. I don't even remember her name. Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:46

Oh yeah, but it was, you know, we were both at fault for a lot of things. Sure. You know, he'd beat the shit out of me and I'd beat the shit out of him. You know, there was a lot of drug usage, a lot of, you know, I started using drugs when I was about 14. I got clean at about gosh, I got clean from heroin at 18 before I had my daughter, and then I got clean from meth at 19, or I guess I guess 20. So yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:08

Then I met you like three months after.

SPEAKER_04 55:10

Yeah, he I met him about three months after I got clean off of meth. So I was fresh in my recovery. I was, you know, out doing all kinds of different shit. And I met him one night and he like changed my freaking life, stopped smoking cigarettes. I was like, I didn't I quit smoking weed too, and then finally one day he's like he like brings home a jar of weed that one of his friends had grown. And I was like, Oh, okay, so you are cool with me smoking weed. And then since then he's probably like, God damn, why'd I do that? This bitch is always smoking because he doesn't smoke, so I'm constantly just like out there smoking. He's like, Oh my god, it smells like weed again.

SPEAKER_02 55:43

Yeah, it's it it is amazing like what the right person can do to your life. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 55:50

He definitely puts up with a lot.

SPEAKER_02 55:51

Oh, thanks.

SPEAKER_04 55:52

I don't I don't know if he's I don't know if he's scared I'm gonna like murder him or if he actually does love me, but uh what I it's working, he's here.

SPEAKER_02 56:00

Yeah, no, that's awesome. I mean we could I mean we can go into abusive relationships if you want, or we can move on. But I like I was in a bad relationship, and like I'm working on a bit about this, like like I feel like I gave up like 10 years to Groundhog Day. Oh, right. It was just like I spent like a decade just doing the same thing every day. No passion, just miserable with with the wrong person.

SPEAKER_04 56:26

And then it can transfer over once you're in a healthy relationship, it's like you're just so traumatized that you're like Oh, absolutely. What do you mean you're being nice? No, now I'm gonna sabotage it because I don't know why you're being so nice to me.

SPEAKER_02 56:38

Right. Yeah, I mean, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 56:40

Like, I like I mean you don't want to be too good because then she's like, we gotta screw this up because this is too good.

SPEAKER_01 56:45

This is the it's too happy right now. We gotta get it. I'll get an emo in here. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

Yeah, dude, I I mean I tell you what though, like being in a bad relationship is absolutely traumatizing. Like, oh yeah, the uh when me and Paige first started dating, uh, like she would like text and then like she would like do this, and like she she would just like get comfortable, but I would take it as like she's hiding what she's typing, so then I'm like, Do I want to go through her phone? Like, who's she talking to? Why is she doing that? And then like she has like a her she has a friend group, and there's a handful of dudes that are in that friend group, so I was like, I gotta like cope with that by itself because I haven't been here for the whole time, so I don't know what the dynamic is. And then like one of her friends like Snapchats her every single day, and they had this like eight-year-long like street street. Oh my gosh. And I was just like, what the fuck, dude? Like, why you know? Like, I'm like, I don't want to be that guy, but like I it does bother me that this dude's in your phone every fucking day. And she's like, just wait till you meet him. Like, just wait till you meet him. Like, I get that, I I understand. Makes sense. You know, she's like sympathetic or empathetic whatever, sympathetic, empathetic, whatever. She uh to like why I'm like that, because my ex was a cheater and a liar and a manipulator, and then you know, all of the all of the keywords, narcissists, blah blah blah. Right. And so she's like, I understand why your brain fires this way, like you're in detective mode in the relationship. But wait till you meet him, and then I met him and I was like, Oh, he's like the nicest guy on earth. Like, okay, Colin.

SPEAKER_04 58:17

Right, yeah, my my best friend.

SPEAKER_06 58:18

I didn't really have a problem with him to start, but uh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:21

Well, I mean we're still not sure. Like, he just he's never like had a girlfriend or anything. Like, he's just he's just like a dude that's always there, and he became my best friend.

SPEAKER_06 58:31

And he does come into my ears a lot.

SPEAKER_04 58:34

He does, he likes his ears a lot. Every time I almost every time I talk to him.

SPEAKER_02 58:38

Comment or come in?

SPEAKER_06 58:40

Comment.

SPEAKER_02 58:40

I thought you said he does come into my ears a lot. They might do that when I'm sleeping. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 58:46

But every time I'm gonna do it. Why is it so sticky this morning? I'll be like, oh, I've just been having like a bad couple of days. I feel really sad, and I'll be like, Tell Aaron I like his ears. And I'm like, Is that an impression of him?

SPEAKER_02 58:58

Because he's for sure gay.

SPEAKER_04 58:59

Oh, see, that's what I thought.

SPEAKER_06 59:01

But no, I don't know. He's like super Christian and oh, that's gay as fuck. Yeah, he's definitely gay.

SPEAKER_04 59:07

Yeah, well, if you met him, he'd probably, if he was sitting here right now, he'd probably be like, Oh yeah, 100%. I'm 100% gay. Oh, but I don't think he's ever been with a guy though.

SPEAKER_02 59:15

How old is he?

SPEAKER_04 59:16

Oh gosh, he's probably two years. No, he's probably 29. Yeah, he's older than me.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

29. Never had a girlfriend. Never you've never seen him with a chick?

SPEAKER_04 59:25

No. I've no I've never seen him do a game. Well, he's been interested in the couple. He's talked to people, but awkward? No, he's waiting for marriage. Like he just wants to ensure that it's like I know. I know. Well, he's scared off at the wedding. He scared off one of your friends.

SPEAKER_06 59:40

Oh, yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 59:41

He's scared off. Yeah, he was like grabbed his hand. He's like, I'm Colin. It's nice to meet you, big boy.

SPEAKER_02 59:48

Oh, was he fucking around? Oh yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 59:50

But his friend thought he was dead serious. But he had never met him before.

SPEAKER_06 59:54

He's like waiting for us to what was it, Applebee's or something? We're waiting to meet up, and he's like, I'm like, yeah, dude is like I'm gone, dude. There's some gay dude there. I'm fucking out of here. Hysterical.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:03

When he told me that, I was dying. I was like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:06

I was like, This guy might be actually be fucking hilarious. Like, yeah, he is really funny. Yeah, he is really funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:13

He's great. He's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:15

Oh man, I actually love that. That's a fucking hilarious bit. Dude. So you've never have you ever seen him pursue a girl? Like ever? Like at the wedding?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:25

Like he didn't interested in a couple girls. Yeah, he was. A wedding is a good idea. He's like your sister, right? He was like interested in Faith at one point, I remember.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:33

Oh no, he was never interested in the game.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:34

No, he was. He liked her.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:37

That's how I know too much information. Oh, okay. Maybe I don't know. About my sister. But I'd really prefer not to know.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:44

They hook up? No. Oh, wait, he's a new one.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:46

No, because no, because um we've just ran in the same friend group. So he would tell me stories and I'd be like, Why are you telling me stories about my sister? I don't want to know those.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:55

Oh, yeah, that could be a problem. Dude, when my when me so my me and my brother are seven years apart, when our friend groups like kind of like crossed over at one point, it was just nothing but drama. And I was like, Yeah, fuck this. I don't want to be friends with those people anymore. Like I don't I don't need to be friends with your friends. Like we can we can keep some of our life separate, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:16

Exactly. My little brother's seven years younger than me, too. And some of his friends, I'm like, how do you hang out with these people? I'm like, I'm like, I don't get it at all.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:24

Yeah. All my brother's friends became my friends. He's a year, well, he's two years older, but one year in school. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:30

So you stole his friends.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:31

And uh once he got like his girlfriend, like he's married his c his high school sweetheart, they've been together forever now. Um but like all his friends were like, I guess you're my friend now, Aaron, because he's never around anymore. And so like my best friends were his friends.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

Hilarious. That's kind of what you know, that's kind of what happened with Paige, too. She uh she has kind of inserted herself into her brother's friend group. Yeah. You know, they're all friends now, and they they do like a book club. All the girls from his friend group do a book club, which is just them reading softcore porn and pretending that it's like them. You love that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

Yep. Oh, I I love Smut.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:06

Okay, so they're reading Okay, well, they're reading Priest. Have you read this one?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:10

I don't think I've read that. I've been I've been reading Fourth Wing lately.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:13

I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:14

Oh, I love Fourth Wing.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:15

It's like Game of Thrones, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:16

I mean, okay, yeah, it's about dragon riders, and there's like a whole love triangle, and it's it's really good. It's it's really good.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:25

You're the gay one. I was sitting there calling your friend gay, but yeah. No, okay, so this is like softcore fucking porn that you read about dragons in Middle Earth. Yep. Yeah, sick, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:39

That's it's so good. I know sometimes I'm reading it and I'm like, he's sitting next to me and I'm like turning it. I'm like, please don't look at what I'm actually reading right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:47

Dude, are okay, so I I don't know if she wants me to tell this story, but I'm fucking gonna. Uh one of the girls in the friend group uh in the book club got the book on like audible, like audiobook, you know, and she's she's driving home from work and she looks over, and a guy has his phone in the mount and he's watching porn in traffic, and she's like, What the fuck? And then she's like, Oh, wait, hold on. I'm reading I'm listening to porn.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:15

I'm listening to it, it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:17

I know that's the first thing. There's all these women who will post in like my like you know, women's groups that'll be like, Well, my husband's watching porn, and what do I do about it? And I'm like, what kind of what kind of books are you reading? I'm like, if you're reading like any of the same ones I am, you're basically reading porn. So do you really have any room to talk about?

SPEAKER_06 1:03:34

Oh wait, I can start watching porn now?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:36

Yeah, you know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:37

I don't need to, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:40

Well, she's got a problem with porn. I don't I don't understand, I've never understood why. Like, I don't I'm not particularly into it. Like, you know, I like used it as a maintenance tool, you know. It's just like, I don't know, fucking I'm kind of I'm kind of in a bad mood. It's been a few days, you know. Go fucking go take a shower and fucking get my brain right, get rid of these demons. And she's like, she's so like heady about it. She's like, you're fantasizing about another woman, and like another I'm like, this is like no, this is uh the woman, it's an object in a video. That's what it is to me. It's not see.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:15

I just find it so fake. Like, I can't watch poor without laughing my head off.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:19

I'm like, what is happening right now?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:23

I'm like, here's some OnlyFans links that might be better.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:26

Like if you're like scrolling something, you know, Doom scrolling, and some chick with big tits comes up. I mean, I show her and she loves it, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:33

It's like I mean, I usually see people be like, Why'd you scroll past that, man? I was watching it. Go back.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:38

I want to see this.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:40

Now we just automatically don't go past it and then we'll go back. Be like, see, you already know.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:44

That's a beautiful thing. I'm gonna make sure Paige listens to the session. She's gotta know about that.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:49

Yeah, I dated like you were mentioning like uh your narcissist ex, right? Like I dated a girl where we were together too long, and um, I remember going to a movie, like we didn't know. I think it was like Wolf of Wall Street or something, right? And uh who's the chick that's in that one? Oh, uh what's her name? Barbie. Barbie, yeah. Fucking uh Harley Quinn, whatever her name is. Whatever her name is right now. Margot Robbie. Margot Robbie, yeah. Margot Robbie. So yeah, she's in there, and like I think she gets naked in it or something, you know. And like my girlfriend at the time is just like super pissed. Like, like, why are you you think she's prettier than me? Why are you looking at that? Like, we're watching the movie. Like I didn't make this movie, you know, it's just like the worst, like beating me up. Like, I picked this movie and knew there was like she was gonna get naked, and that's all I wanted to see the whole time. I it's like the weirdest.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:34

Also, yeah, she's gonna be prettier than she's a fucking movie. I know, I right rather be with her.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:39

Are you fantasizing about her? You know, just like the weirdest. Like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:43

Every guy on Earth is, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:45

Oh my gosh. What's that new movie with Sydney Sweeney that ever all the wives have been like going crazy about? It's called like Housemaid or something, because I guess there's that a movie or a show, or that movie's and I'm supposed to be amazing. And I was like, I was like, I think I want to watch it. Husband hasn't said a word about it. I'm like, I wanna watch it.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:02

I see. I don't know about the is it there there's a sex scene in there? I guess so.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:06

That's about all I've heard is Sydney Sweeney gets naked and she's like gorgeous. So I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:11

So I'm gonna watch it tonight. The uh for sure. Uh my buddy was describing the plot of that movie to me. I'm not gonna ruin it for anybody, but my god, it's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:20

Like, yeah, it's yeah, I've heard that it's gotta be that it's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:24

I gotta I gotta have to watch it. I'm actually glad you brought this up because he uh he like went through the whole plot. He's like, Are you gonna watch it? I'm like, no. And then he described it. I'm like, yeah, yeah. No worries. Damn it. Like, fuck, I didn't know this was gonna be like a headnight channel.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:34

So many, there's so many movies like like some new one we never heard of, right? We'll look it up on YouTube, watch a trailer, and it's like so many nowadays are like, I think we just watched the whole movie. Like, we're not gonna watch this. You just saw the whole damn thing in the trailer, just in the trailer, yeah. And it's like, okay, not that one, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:51

Dude, my go-to is any A24 film. I don't know if you know every time I said not every time, there's been one A24 film that I was like, this is fucking stupid. That was Death of a Unicorn. But the rest of like every other A24 movie that I've watched has been incredible. Tuesday, I don't know. Have you guys seen Oh yeah Tuesday? Yep, that movie's fucking incredible. I I thought it was so good. It's uh it's a sick daughter basically like tricks death on into not killing her for the moment by like making him laugh. And then and then all of the chaos ensues because the the order of the plan of the world didn't continue. She stopped it, and then all kinds of chaos ensues, and the mom tries to intervene, and you know, because the mom doesn't want her sick kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's so good. Some of those dude, so I mean, so many. Uh The Whale with Brennan Fraser. He's like, I don't know if you guys saw that.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:49

I haven't seen that one yet, but I was I wanted to see that.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:51

Amazing. Fucking, I mean, so good. Fucking it.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:54

That was like his first comeback movie, right? It was, and yeah, my god. Uh the reason why isn't he doing a new uh mummy or something?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:01

I don't know. Is that kind of moving?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:03

I think we're working on a new mummy, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:04

Hopefully he starts jogging because yeah, right.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:06

He looks like he lost more from that for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:08

Yeah, he was never actually that big. That fucking dude, they show him stand up in that movie, and it's like, holy fuck, like it's such incredible makeup. Like, it's like totally believable. Like that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:19

Is that all like makeup and not oh yeah, it's all prop stuff, it's not any CGI or anything in it.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:25

Oh, I don't know if it's I don't know. I think it's I think it was all real because I remember watching him get all you know, all the makeup on and stuff and get the suit on and stuff. Yeah, yeah. It I they might have even talked about like how much the suit weighed. Like the suit was like hundreds of pounds or something, or maybe a hundred. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, he's like getting skinnier as they film the movie.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:46

You're not supposed to do this.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:48

We gotta hurry up and finish. Yeah, dude, that movie's fucking crazy. So good. There's one I there's one I started, I haven't finished. Uh Friendship with Tim Tim Robbins and Paul Rudd. I started that one. I haven't finished it yet.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:00

Did I see that one? Oh we might have watched that one.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:03

It sounds familiar.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:05

I I love both of those guys. Yeah, yeah. They're both awesome. Yeah, I haven't I haven't finished that one. I did it like it just started to where like the friendship was getting to be like not healthy. Oh and we, I don't know, fucking kids or something, you know, like something interrupted it.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:19

And I feel like we saw that or maybe the same thing, maybe we watched half of it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:23

Yeah, dude, that's my MO.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:24

I don't have I don't have anything.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:26

I fall asleep, and then I'm like, Yeah, we watched that. Yeah, oh yeah, I remember because I'll like I'll fall asleep and then I'll wake up and I'll watch a little bit of it. So I'll be like, I do remember that part, and then it'll be like, tell me what happened next. I'll be like, nope, I was out again for that part. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:41

I know. Paige is such a fucking gaslighter because I'll like I'll start a show with her, and she'll be like, I'll be like, Do you want to start fucking Ted Lasso? And she's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll watch that.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:50

And then I put it on, and then she's snoring, and I'm like, and then we get to the then third episode, and you're like, What's going on?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:56

Yeah, well, like and well, like the next day, I like I'm like, Hey, do you want to watch Ted Lasso? Like, we got some time, sure. And I like put on the second episode, she's like, You've been watching this without me.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:04

I'm like, Yeah, you fell asleep.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:05

You fucking go to yeah, you lay down, get all snuggled up with a whole fuzzy blanket. Like, of course, you're snoring before the credits are the opening credits are over. That show's a fucking amazing.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:16

I feel like there's got to be a few shows I've watched, like without you when I'm on the road, and then like come back in the middle of it, and I don't think you know. Like, she has no clue that I watched like two episodes without her, and then I start the next one. I hear no idea. Yeah, hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:31

Yeah, how do you not like how do you I am if I miss a sentence, I'm like, I'm going back before that sentence so that I remember the context of why that sentence need to be said. Meanwhile, Paige is like a few.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:41

And then I'm like on forums looking at comments after the shows, and like what are people talking about?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:46

Like, whatever like we're currently watching, I usually like find videos on TikTok, so I film myself in that way, get all my information for what I've missed.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:55

Dude, I yeah, I I don't know. I I I also have this quirk where like if I start a show, I have to get through the entire show, and it sucks.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:04

Some of those the really bad shows are like, oh man, why am I watching this?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:08

Dude, Better Call Saul didn't give a fuck the entire time.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:11

You didn't like Better Call Saul the entire time, the whole show from the fucking first episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:16

When I was like the allergic to electricity thing, I was like, this is interesting. This is such a weird fucking plot line. But other than that, didn't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:24

And I loved that show. I was just like, man, just come up. I think it took me a while to get into that one, but once I did, I I loved that show.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:30

Yeah, I but I also had it like in my mind that this is like breaking bad, and it would never I did watch it after breaking bad too, yeah. Yeah, but I I I just didn't give a fuck the entire time. And I was like, God, this sucks. The other the other one for me that I watched and I was like, this feels like a chore was Seinfeld. Oh. Some people are like, I fucking that's dude, oh you spare square, spare square.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:56

It's like like the sitcoms, I can kind of like those are some of the only ones where it's like I don't have to watch them all, I guess. Like yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:03

Well, because the story wraps up within the most of the episodes are kind of standalone, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:07

I mean, you watched what, Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dude, that's another one.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:11

We end up going through all that, yeah. I can't do it. I had to watch it. It took me a while, like some of the episodes are horrible, but some of them are awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:18

A pause. Hard pause.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:20

I never I know I never watched it until Pennsylvania. I know. I decided to.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:25

We gotta go to Patty's pub. I'm like, where is it? You've probably been there.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:27

Like I'm like, I don't know when we're gonna heroin though. Go there.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:32

That's a given. You're from Pennsylvania.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:39

But we're not going to Patty's pub.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:41

Why is it gonna be exclusive? Like we let's mix it up, sprinkle it on there or whatever. Dude, that's I I can't. You know what the thing is, the thing that pisses me off about this show is that every time I see a clip from the show, I'm like, this is the funniest bit I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:58

There are some hilarious bits.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:59

But then, but then I fucking put on the show and I'm like, fuck this. Like, I can't do it. I can't sit through the fucking show. It feels so pointless, and I'm like, I'm like, I don't have any time, so like to watch a show that's about nothing is like like annoying to me. Oh yeah, yeah. It's like my stepmom has been watching Coronation Street for like 50 years. It's like she like since she was a little kid, and the show is still going. It's a British fucking like soap opera.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:24

My gosh.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:25

And like I I I would like walk in the room and she's watching this, I'm like, you've been watching this for your entire life. Like since you're like 10 years old, you've been watching this fucking show. Yeah. Why? It's like Jesus Christ, fuck this. I can't get it. I wish I could get into It's Always Sunny, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:45

Like the the fact that the latest season they had like the funniest, like Frank. What do you Frank was on The Bachelor or something? Oh my god, it was like that. That was pretty funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:55

Like like these old chicks come out that are his age, and he's just like, oh gross, what is pass, get her out of here. Like the far star episode of the show, right? Like he's like saying no to these girls. Like, I don't even want to see them ever again. Like, it's freaking hilarious how they did it.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:09

Dude, that's that's what I'm saying. Every fucking bit that comes out of that show, I'm like, this is hilarious. But I actually watching the show, I just can't do. I wish I could. I don't I don't understand why I can't. I and I've seen so many clips of that show that I'm like, this is so fucking fun. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. Like the uh the the compilation videos of Dennis just absolutely losing his losing his shit on people is like I'm like I fucking love this.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:34

Like, yeah, some of it's like just so far-fetched how dumb they are. Like, those are the ones I kind of hate where it's like, okay, it's sort of like real life, and then it's like you went way too far. Yeah, like nobody would ever do this be this dumb, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:45

Yeah, like I watched yeah, one of the episodes where like they found out there was another room in the apartment. I was like, oh my god, this is so fucking stupid. You didn't know this? Come on. Yeah, there's no bathroom, like a fucking I could get it, it's like absurd for you know, for the sake of being absurd, but I just can't watch that fucking show. I don't know. What was the what was the last one that I was like actually fucking Ted Lasso is probably the most recent one that I was like like pleasantly surprised. I thought I put my foot on one of your feet.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:14

Oh it's a fucking bottle cap uh distance here.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:17

It's a fucking bottle cap.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:19

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:20

Dude, some people are so weird about the table, it's it cracks me up. Like, we'll like be drinking and then people like set stuff on the ground because they're like, well, I don't want to make any noise. Like, do you your first time using a table? You never sat at a table before. Oh, so funny. Fuck yeah. Dude, uh, so what is your like do you guys have kind of a I don't I don't want to say like a plan or like a like a why am I drawing a blank?

SPEAKER_06 1:15:49

Yeah, our plan is to show off her titties and get famous, I think. Dude, not a bad plan at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:55

Fucking uh but like do you guys have uh a strategy is the word I was trying to think of. Like, do you guys have a strategy on how you're gonna proceed?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:01

Like I mean, not social media now. I feel like I have somewhat of an idea, but my ideas are also kind of like wild too. And like she's pretty good with social media, so yeah, like I have a lot of video ideas that like I want to do to promote things, but I don't have the budget to do it, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:19

Like trying to figure out where should we invest promotion if we do, and then um really trying to get our songs on playlists, I think is the biggest thing. Yeah. Um so like with Spotify you can release a song and then push it to a curated playlist before it's release. But you need like six weeks, four to six weeks ahead of time before the release. So I mean releasing singles, hoping one of those gets on a playlist would probably be the coolest thing. Yeah. Um otherwise just trying to find other big playlists that kind of match the style and see how.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:52

I mean, my thing is I'm just like I'm not in this for like fortune or fame. I just had these songs and ideas in her head. You know, I just I know what it feels like to feel so hopeless and to feel like you just have nothing going for you and you don't even want to be there anymore. You know, I have a lot of experience with drug addiction and I had a very traumatic childhood growing up. So if my songs could help just one person and they feel a little bit better listening to it, that's that's all I'm like here for.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:21

So and she's kind of already done that. Like she's got super excited, like the first song she had, and like whoever first listened and comments, like she's like, Holy crap, somebody actually like listened to my song and cared about it, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:33

Like, I know that I'm not the best singer. I know that like no one's ever gonna be like, oh wow, her vocal range is amazing. She's like a really great vocalist. But I think that my lyrics, I think that having the experiences and the stories to tell, I think that's where you know we were talking about Taylor Swift earlier. I personally have always felt like Taylor Swift was a very mid singer. Now she's done a lot of vocal lessons and she's got a pretty good range right now, but it's took years of practice by probably some of the most renowned, you know, um vocal teachers. But her storytelling and her lyrics, I think, is what really gave her that footing.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:09

There's only a handful of incredible vocalists that also have something to say. I mean, there's like five ever now. And so having something to say is way more important than the way you say it.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:24

Exactly. You know, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:25

I mean, it's gotta be on you know, in key, but like right, right.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:29

That's easy with autotune now.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:31

So I mean, yeah, I mean, but having something to say and having you know, having a reason behind what you're writing is way more important in my mind.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:39

Connecting with the people, yeah, making them feel something. Yeah, you know, as much as I love a good, fun, vibey song, I'm definitely the type person of I listen to all the lyrics and I sit there and analyze every single song lyric. And that's what when I really like a song, it's because I like the lyrics behind it.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:56

Yeah, and then the complete opposite. I just like the melodies. Yeah, he drives me crazy.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:00

I'll send him all these cute songs and I'll be like, reminds me of us, and they'll just be like, oh yeah, I like that song.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:11

Yeah, the uh yeah, you know, it's funny. The only reason I ever felt the only way I could ever write lyrics was if I felt compelled to talk about something. I I've never understood people that could just like write a song just like without some kind of like thing they need to vent out of their system. Right. It's like I'm like, I don't have that muscle at all. I cannot write a song about happy. Like who wants to talk who wants to sing about happy? Exactly. You know, like I I mean I've written like love songs, but the best songs I've ever written were like out of very dark places, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:48

Yes, where the tears are streaming down your face while you're writing them, type of thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:52

Yeah, like I I have this song, like I think the best song I've ever written was is a song Better that my brother sang. Like we like I wrote the lyrics and or arranged it, I guess, and and my brother sang it on the recording. And the song's about like breaking like family fucking um like loops, I guess. I don't know. I'm I'm blanket on how I want to word it, but like essentially it's like I broke away from the family tree and became something different than what my family is. Like generational curses. The only thank you. And the only thing I want my son to do is to do better than me. Right. And like this, so that's what the song is about. And like I remember like when me and my brother were recording this song, like obviously we have the you know, we have the we have the same uh family members that that song is about. Right, and uh and when we were recording that song, we were both fucking crying like babies because like my son was like a year old at that time. I'm like, I was 20 years old, single dad with a baby, and I write this song about like dude, the only the only reason like I'm doing as good as I am is because I want you to be better than I am and and be better than I can be. And uh and then I hear fucking songs about just like banging and drinking. Who can like write a song?

SPEAKER_06 1:21:10

Yeah, like I think my best song was probably Pink 69 about trying to take home some hot chick, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:15

I mean the song is really good, but it is really good.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:18

Oh, it's a real song. Yeah, my like college band I was in five minutes later.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:23

I used to, I was obsessed with awesome.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:25

Like, I don't know why we weren't super famous, like it's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:28

I was obsessed with bad girlfriend by theory of a dead man. He was like, check out the song Pink 69.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:32

I totally I was like, I was like around the same time as like Theory of a Dead Man, Bad Girlfriend, and Crazy Bitch, you know. We had this Pink 69 song, and just take off enough, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:44

I yeah, I'm jealous of the people that can write songs out of good experiences. I don't I don't have that muscle at all.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:51

I know it's it's so much harder when I look at my songs. I'm like, the really good ones are just so dark and depressing. I'm like, because that's I don't know, I feel like you need a certain level of like trauma and I don't know, craziness to write a good deep song. Like I feel like you have to be troubled in some sense.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:12

For real, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, every like I said, every fucking every good song I ever wrote was out of a fucking dark place. And it was like uh and you know, funny enough, like when I would when I would write the song, I would be like, I'd people would be like, Oh, this song's really like the lyrics are really good, or the this song's really good, and I'd be like, I hate this song because I got it out of my system and I don't want to fucking hear it. I don't want to think about it anymore, you know. But I mean like my I don't know, I guess my comedy's not really like that. My comedy's just like fucking around, just like writing about whatever malarkey I'm going through at the time. Like so I guess I do have that muscle, but in a different way. Like I can be silly about whatever, but you know, I don't know. I dude, I wrote I wrote like five minutes about my ex and like the relationship that we had, and then like it was like a smear campaign just shitting on her. And I can't tell you how many rooms I just like turned into dead silence because I was like, I was like, hey, this is it's okay now. Like this is supposed to be funny.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:15

Probably because there's so many guys with their girl that feel the same way, and they're like, Oh man, this is horrible.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:20

That's the kind of stuff that I find funny, like the wildly inappropriate, like that everybody else is like, What? And I'm over there, like just cracking up because I'm like, this is this shit's hilarious. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:23:31

I did a I did a I did a Black room in Detroit, and there was an older woman sitting in the front row, and she goes, Every time I'd finish one of the jokes about my ex, she'd just go, and I was like, Stop! Like, I don't need grandma to like, oh honey, come here. Oh my god. Like, stop it. It's fine. Like, these are jokes. And then I told a joke about fucking eating out an any 80-year-old, and it took her out. I was like, I can't believe that works. That one, I can't believe that got it. The joke is so fucking stupid. Oh my god. Talk about being on Ozempic and having the munchies from smoking pot. It's like my brain, I don't know what to do with this. Like, I I have the munchies I want to eat, but I can't because I've poisoned my brain to hate food. So, like it's like taking home an eight-year-old from the bar, like, you know, whatever you're gonna eat when you have the munchies on Ozempic is just gonna be fucking disgusting, you know. So that's the joke. The old pussy, yeah. Yeah, it's like taking home an eight-year-old from the bar. Just like you want to throw it down and passionately eat, but it's fucking gross, you know. And that took her out. I was like, I can't believe I just said this in front of this old woman.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:38

Yeah, did you ever get on Ozempic or anything when you were losing weight? I'm on it. Yeah, is that what you do? I'm on Zempi.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:44

Oh, he's he's interested in that. All I hear from him is how she got on Ozempic.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:48

They got those pills now?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:49

He's the same thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:51

Like 190, 180? Yeah, it was like 180 the other day. I should be like 160.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:55

I told him I'm gonna throw the scale away because he's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:58

Okay, the BM so BMI is it was Yeah, I know it's BS, but it's bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:02

It was it's based on like Scandinavian body types. Like any like short fucking Italian dudes like me. Like I like me, yeah. Half Italian. We're like bulldogs, dude. We're like dense little fucking concrete blocks. Like if I was my like correct weight, I I would be uh uh dead, I'd be passed away. There's no fucking way. Like, oh you're you know, you're 5'10, you should be one fucking 70. There's no I haven't been 170 since fifth fucking.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:30

I just figure I'll save money on eating, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:32

I sure I guess no, it's not worth it. Now now I spend money on drugs for me not to eat, but then I also buy the food. Right. I still you know what's funny is I still like I'll like still fill my plate like I'm a total fat piece of shit still, and then I just like get like a third of the way through the food. I'm just like loose.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:52

But you still enjoy the the first third at least, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:55

Dude, so that's the thing is like I didn't know how I was gonna react to it. Right, right. I was nervous as fuck. But I was like, I got up to like 320 pounds. I was like, dude, I'm a fucking fat piece of shit. Like I gotta do something here. And and I I have yo-yo'd my whole life since I was like, you know, maybe 18, 19 years old. I've gone like up 50 pounds, down 70 pounds, up a hundred pounds, down 30 pounds, and it's just like all over the place. And I'm like, I'm fucking sick of this. Like, I like I have like 15 different sets of clothes depending on how fat I am. Yeah. And and and where I'm fat at, you know. And uh, so I was like, all right, let me try this fucking, let me try. I asked about ZEP uh Ozempic, and they were like, uh actually Zet bound, you know, has two or whatever. So I'm like, okay, whatever. So I so I do Zet Bound, and uh it was like, oh, like this is a normal amount of food. It was never discussed, it was never like in all honesty, it's never been discussed. It's just like I eat all the same stuff I always ate. It's just like the volume is like I don't I don't want to eat until my gut is like fucking I got a baby in there, you know. Right. And uh fast forward a year, it's like I'm down. Uh I mean, yeah, what's wrong with that for me?

SPEAKER_06 1:27:07

You don't like a great thing to have. I mean, it feels great.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:13

I mean, I I don't I don't help. It'll be like 11 o'clock almost every night.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:16

I'm like, go get me some food. Taco Bell. Let's go to Hibachi.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:20

Yeah, maybe some McDonald's, a little midnight snack.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:24

Dude, I was uh I did a bunch of uh Paige's been talking about wanting to go to Coldstone and like we're both dieting and exercising and like trying to like get hot for the warning, you know. And uh she's like, I just I want cold stone. Like we haven't done any bullshit in so long. I need cold stone, and we just have not had time. And last night I did a couple of mics, and so I'm out late as fuck. So I'm I work all day, I rush home, take a nap, and then I rush out the door to go do mics, and uh so I get home at like 11 o'clock. I'm fucking exhausted because I get up at four in the morning. But I was like, dude, I am not been home. Like between the podcast and doing comedy, we have not been home and hanging out with each other at all. So I stopped at Speedway and I got like two quarts of fucking ice cream. Oh. So I was like, all right, I gotta do something for it. So like I walk in and I'm like, Are you sleeping? She's like, I was trying to. And I was like, Will you get up for Just gotta walk it with food?

SPEAKER_04 1:28:18

That's how she always gets me. I'll be like, I want to be pissed, but oh damn, you brought me French fries. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:24

I was like, Will you get up for cold stone? She's like, You don't have cold stone. I was like, I got Ben and Jerry's, and she's like, I'm already over my calories for the day. I go, Do you want to eat ice cream with me? Like, we haven't fucking talked like all week. She's like, Of course I want to eat the fucking ice cream. You know, so like she gets sits up and she's just fucking eating ice cream naked in the fucking room.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:43

Should have got some like candy bars and then just vanilla and just made your own thing or something. For real, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:48

I paid like eight dollars each for the quartz of Ben and Jerry's. I was like, this is. The Ben and Jerry's is getting expensive. Bullshit. Yeah, it's nuts now.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:55

Every time I get one for myself, my kids steal it then. I'm like, oh damn you.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:58

Fat little fuckers.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:59

No, for real, you can't have anything to yourselves when you have kids.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:02

Dude, I have a theory. Okay, so like it's a stereotype that like old people like gross stuff, you know, like, oh, why do you have these windmill cookies? You know why? Because you guys ate everything that was good. So like now I eat like windmill cookies and sandies, those disgusting, salty fucking pan cookies. It's the only thing that the kids won't eat. Right. So I'm like, oh, like over fucking 50 years, you like adjust your taste to just butterscotch and meta musical because your fucking fat ass kids ate everything that was delicious.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:33

I know I go grocery shopping and I I take out what I want for myself from the kids' snacks, I go hide them upstairs. And I'm like, yeah, I'm sick of it. I will have my own snacks.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:41

Well, I gotta hide stuff too from her, even the kids.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:43

He hides it from me, but then I'll find his stash and I'll eat it and then I'll replace it real quick before he notices.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:48

Well, that's what you've been doing.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:50

I do it. I do. I've done it quite a few minutes.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:52

If you're gonna eat this shit, I mean you know, and replace it, who cares?

SPEAKER_04 1:29:55

I know I write it down, I'm like, I'll set an alarm and be like, hey, tomorrow get more jalapeno chips at 8 a.m. before he wakes up.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:01

Hilarious, dude. Uh Paige, I I was like, I was like joking with her the other day. I'm like, I don't know like what your old boyfriend was like. Where like, did he just like scream at you? Because every single time I buy food, you're like, can I have this? I'm like, Do you live in the fucking house? Yeah, anyone who comes in the house is allowed to eat the food, right? It's like yeah, we're the same way. Yeah, I'm like, it's like, well, you you know, you only bought a couple of the pre-made salads. I'm like, it's a fucking three-dollar sale, and you can get it at every gas station from here to the other side of the earth. Like, yeah, dude, eat whatever you want, man. But yeah, God, fucking kid having kids trying to keep food in the house and having kids is impossible. Like, I swear to god, I all like grocery shop. And they're all my kids are only my two younger ones are only at my house half the time. They're Monday through Wednesday. And then my oldest is with us full time. But every single time I go grocery shopping, I'm like, I'll open up the cabinet. So I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 1:30:57

Yeah, where'd it all go?

SPEAKER_05 1:30:59

I spent 300 bucks.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:01

All we have left is raw ingredients. Yeah, she does that every like few days.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:04

Oh my gosh, it's insane. It's insane. And then it's like you you're like, okay, well, I have ingredients to make something that I don't want to like actually cook right now, especially for the kids to not eat it then.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:14

Oh, I know. I I have this uh really rude bitch named ChatGPT, and every time I like I'll open up my cabinets and I'm like, what can I make with this? I'm like, I like click the voicing, I'm like, okay, I got fucking this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. And I just lift it list everything. And they're like, oh, here's the recipe that is exactly that. I'm like, God damn it. Why can't you just say you're fucked? Go to go to the store.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:37

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:38

Exactly. Like, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:40

And that sounds good, so now I have to do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:43

Brian, it's always like a 10-step process to just even prep to get started. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:49

I'm not shaving a peel for zest. Fuck you. Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:52

I assume it says to zest something or like mint something, I'm like, ah nope, we're gonna make do.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:59

Oh man. Do you guys do any gardening?

SPEAKER_04 1:32:02

I garden a little bit, but I also kill everything. So killer? Okay. Yeah, she's I'm trying. I have some something like that. Okay, well, our chickens got sick.

SPEAKER_11 1:32:12

And also fuck the plants. So you murdered a bunch of little dinosaurs.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:16

Our Pomsky, our small dog, murdered like half of our floor.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:20

Just two of them.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:21

No, it was Pomsky. It was more than that because we had a chicken who was sticking their head out of the cage. Oh, three. Three of them. So they literally played chicken with our dog.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:28

So I think the I think the dog got three, and then one of the chickens, I think, killed the other three.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:32

Oh, yeah, one of them, one of them pecked the other one to death.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:35

Pecked it to death.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:37

Uh, I shouldn't I named her after Lazy Borden.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:39

I'm assuming that.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:40

So I'm assuming that I shouldn't have named her after an axe murderer.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:44

Maybe that's it.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:45

My next ones will be named.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:46

But the worst part was like it was in the middle of winter, I think. Last was it last year? And like I think the dead one, or the no, the the angry one killed these dead ones, and they were like in a bag in the corner of the cage.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:58

We were gonna bury them with the biggest.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:59

They like to bury the chickens. I don't know, they're crazy. Her and her brother.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:04

Buried a chicken. You didn't find it quick enough to eat it.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:07

It's in the corner of the cage, and the dogs got to it, and they're pulling out all these like old dead chicken pieces. It was the grossest thing. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:16

It was an interesting time in our life. And you know, when I got in onto these like chicken groups on Facebook, because I'm like, what did I do wrong? Like, did I murder all my chickens? Like, they all just died.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:25

Only one of them was ever laying eggs, and then it like stopped laying eggs because it was being raped or something. I don't know what happened to it.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:31

No, it got cold. But um, apparently it's just it's just normal. Chickens just like kill themselves and die and get taken out all the time. I don't think so. Apparently, everybody's like, you need to get like 40 chickens at once to have a chance. And I'm like, um, okay, why are they murdering each other? And they're like, no, it's totally like what did you guys have a rooster? No, we're not allowed to have roosters, and we have some pretty bad neighbors, and I want a chance having a rooster and them like calling somebody. Although I would have loved to have like baby chicks.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:05

Yeah. Well, but you don't you have I thought you had to have a rooster for them to lay eggs.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:09

So they'll lay eggs, they just won't be fertilized, so you can't like put them in an incubator.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:13

Well, that's what you want anyway, right? But like but I thought I thought you needed a rooster around for them to want to lay eggs. Is that interesting?

SPEAKER_04 1:34:21

I mean, it might like depend on the breed, but typically most breeds. Oh gosh, my brother is so much better at the chicken stuff than I am. He gave me like a whole rundown of uh, I don't know. It's after a certain amount of time, they'll start. Do you have chickens that have not just well, those were actually his chickens that he brought with when he moved out here from Pennsylvania? So maybe they were just murder chickens.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:42

I raised these from chicks. He did.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:44

He's all proud of them and everything. I'm like, they're murdering each other out there.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:48

Well, yeah, and the one was, you know, laying eggs, even before, right? And then she was laying eggs at our place like one a day. Every day was pretty consistent until and then it got yeah, it got really cold.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:00

But she was also older, so I don't know. He said that could have been.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:03

Did you guys ever eat any of the chickens that you had? I would have. She just buries them.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:07

Yeah, but they also weren't meat chickens, so they didn't have much on them. So enough to cook.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:11

I didn't feel like I like the mime of the small tits. Like they didn't eat much, it was just like little fucking little babies. Yeah, but we're all spoiled. Like we have these like disgusting fucking factory farm breasts that are the size of our heads. The chicken can't even walk because its tits are so huge.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:29

I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:29

It's a normal size chicken tits. It's like it's supposed to be pretty it's like the size of my thumb muscle. Like, that's a normal sized chicken t. I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:36

It's crazy once when you've like butchered your own chickens at home, like just the difference between them.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:41

It's just I can only imagine the flavor difference, too, you know. Like home. Yeah, my buddy was giving us eggs for a while from his chickens, and the yolks were like dark orange. And I was like, these are so good. Like, what the you know? It was so different, so different than store-bought eggs. We I wanted to do chickens, but you can't do them here. You have to have five contiguous acres to have any livestock at all. Yeah. Keep you fucking needing the man.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:06

Is that water food? Is that where you're in? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:09

The uh yeah, we can't have any livestock fucking sucks. I would love to have chickens.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:13

The whole area around here is kind of stripped about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:16

You guys are you guys are north of here, right? You're Clarkston. Okay, I didn't want to say in case you didn't want that out there, but so Clarkston, uh is Clarkston like as bougie and annoying as it seems like it could be.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:28

It's very especially how to do it.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:30

We're not like downtown, that's probably more bougie and annoying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:34

I will say having kids in school though, there are so many like bougie parents in the schools and stuff, and half the time I'm sitting there with like my van t-shirts on, and they're all just like kind of looking at me like staying away from her.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:47

Yeah. Dude, I shouldn't I I shouldn't even tell the story. I had a I had a I had a teacher ask me what I did for a living, and she was like, Oh. Like she was like sad. Really? And I was like, I know what an elementary school teacher makes. I make three times as much money as you. And you're like sad for me. It's crazy. Well, it it's funny. And me and my uncle are both journeyman pipe fitters, you know, we're in the in the union and in Detroit, and we have we both have a similar story where like someone finds out that you're in construction, and they're like, oh sorry, you're such a loser. I'm like, dude. No, like this is a bank. This is so funny to me. It's so funny. But speaking of like arrogant people around the schools, it's like you don't even know you have no you have no clue. You have a like you have a master's degree, you teach at an elementary school, you make 45 grand in a year. Way more. Yeah, well, not her, she's a fucking ugly bitch. Uh I'm saying you, you could. Oh, I could? Absolutely not. My feet are like nice feet. My feet are like fucking hobbit feet, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:00

That's okay. People like your feet. I got those short stubby toes, you know. I'd be selling your pictures.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:05

I got the pinky toe that's like on its side with barely a nail. You know that fucking fucked up thing. I've seen I'm sure you've seen a you know, someone else's disgusting foot. My my feet have been locked into a boot for like 15 years every day. So it's like I've just I've like I'm doing like the Chinese bonding to my body. Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah. Dude, I started using this is so stupid. I started using toe spacers just to see if there's a difference. Like, I I heard this is so embarrassing. I heard I heard that like indigenous people, their toes are like spread out and their feet are super strong because they actually like use them to like grab and stuff. Just like a feedback when they walk, you know, like they're actually like actively using their feet when they walk on ground. Okay. I don't. I like that. I like I I tie my boots tight as fuck. It's like my I might as well be walking around in ski boots every day, you know. Yeah, yeah. And uh, but I started having pain like in the muscle of I guess it'd be this one, in the muscle of like my big toe. And I'm like, what is going on there? What the fuck? Like, this better not be gout, dude. I'm not that old. What the fuck, you know? And uh, so like like I do whenever I'm anxious about some random shit, I type into chat GPT and shut up, yep, and I'm like sh I'm like scare yourself. But what if I do this? And then what if I do this? And then like this like long, like an hour of talking to my side piece, ChatGPT. Um, I convinced that I need to use toe spacers to fix the issue. So I bought toe spacers.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:30

Like it's for every toe? Yeah, it's like rubber filling. Because I got one for my right big toe, because I got like I mean, it's not really a bunion, it looks like a bunion, I guess, but it's like some hereditary thing that my dad had, his dad, my aunt, like so do you have the muscle which joint just grows really big? Yeah, and it's like it bugs the hell out of me. And I'm like playing soccer and snowboarding, and it's like always painful. The bones, the bones like rubbing on itself. So and yeah, my like shoes. I need like wide shoes for everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:58

So see, this is why this is why But I don't think it helps at all.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:01

Like I got this stupid bunion thing I use every couple days or whatever. What is that? What is it? It just takes your right big toe and pulls it, like it spaces just that one.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:09

Oh. I I have seen the like the it's like a strap and then you like crank it in like that and pulls it over. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:16

Yeah, I was I didn't. I don't think it does anything. Yeah, it's supposed to maybe relieve pressure or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:21

Some of some of the stuff I'm like, oh, this makes sense, but then some of it I'm like, this is like some chiropractic.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:28

You have to have surgery, basically. Like, that's the only thing for it.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:31

Like shave down the bone or something, like cut it down.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:34

And it's like, I don't want to be out for a few months or whatever.

unknown 1:40:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:38

But have you ever seen like indigenous feet? Oh, yeah. It's fucking weird. It's like they look like hands, they're like this. Like they're all sprouting.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:44

Probably if yeah, if you were if you never put shoes and socks on, yeah, it would probably be normal for us. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:49

But we're all wearing like I'm never wearing socks and shoes. My feet aren't like he's always yelling at me, I'm constantly walking around barefoot. I'll walk outside, walk on the house.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:59

Kids same look at their feet, they're black all the time.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:02

See, I I grew up like that. I hate shoes. I've always been barefoot. I would go to the store barefoot if I could.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:09

I'm almost never I'm barefoot in the shower. That's about it.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:12

See, I'm barefoot.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:12

I mean I'm barefoot a lot, but I'll wear sandals. Yeah. So I'll like wear sandals around the house barefoot.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:17

Oh, you wear sand in the house? Yeah, see, I I like I mean, like it at minimum I'm wearing socks all the time. I can't I can't sleep without socks on. Oh, really? Yeah, that's how she is.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:29

I'm the opposite.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:29

Like, I can't have socks on.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:31

Okay, but it's because I saw an episode of it was like CSI or NCIS or something when I was growing up, and there was this guy who would like have sex with girls and then murder them and cut their toe, not cut their toe off, chew their toe off, okay? So that's why I wear socks. It's always been a thing. That is why I'm scared somebody's gonna be eating.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:48

Because he wouldn't be able to murder you with socks on?

SPEAKER_04 1:41:51

Maybe he wouldn't get to my toes as easy. I don't know. I'm not scared of death. I'm scared of losing a toe.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:57

Do you ever take him off when I'm home, or is it only when I'm gone?

SPEAKER_04 1:41:59

Like, you're the biggest suspect.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:02

I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:03

Mostly afraid I'm gonna do it. Statistically, no, it's most likely I would.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:09

This socks. Are they fucking chainmail socks?

SPEAKER_06 1:42:11

Like we'll have to watch that episode, see if it gives me some ideas.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:14

I gotta find that episode, dude. I it was so long ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:19

Your chastity belt for your toes. Right. That was the most ridiculous. I've never heard anyone that's like, I wear socks because of CSI. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 1:42:28

I'm afraid somebody's gonna kill me and cut my toes off.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:30

Oh yeah, I know everybody I tell them that, tell them, and they're like, maybe there is something wrong with you. Yeah, I mean let's go get ice cream and drop you off at the funny farm instead.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:41

Right, right, right. Oh, dude, that's not giving you ideas, am I? Yeah, you know what's funny is you call, you don't even have to have good reason. They take them.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:49

Right. They do.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:50

I did it three times to my ex. It doesn't take that much. I did. I really did. She uh she I was she was six months pregnant and I was painting our apartment because we had like broke the walls all over the place. We were toxic as fuck from like the first hour we dated. Uh but I like fixed up the apartment we were moving out of, and I was painting it. I was like, hey, can you leave? I'm like painting the apartment with kills, yeah. And she tried to stab me because of it, which is not a proportionate reaction. And uh, but I called so I called and had her committed to the psych ward. I was like, you know, she's trying to kill herself. She likes she tried to stab me, you know, she's going fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:29

I'm going to get a chance, you know, give me that number.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:31

It's 911. That's the number. But uh, but I'm like, you know, this happened, this happened, you know, and they're like, okay, okay, we're you know, someone's gonna come out. So an ambulance shows up and they're like, you gotta come with us. And then a cop shows up and they're like, get in. And uh, so they force her to go to the psych ward. And uh, so when when you commit someone to the psych ward, they have to keep you for 72 hours, right? They kept her for a month. A month? A month.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:57

I was gonna say, I've got put on psych holds, but I've been out like as soon as that 72 hour mark. She was there for a month. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:05

Yeah, like I this is like deal with the kids for a month.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:08

Yeah, he'd be like, come on, come home. Come on.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:11

Can I brought can I drop the kids there too?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:12

I had an empty apartment for a month. It was awesome. Yeah, no, no, it was actually very depressing. I was like mentally fucked. I was 18, had a kid on the way. Right, and my girlfriend's in the psych ward. And then this is the fuck. Then I found out a few years later that she started fucking a dude that she met there. Like she was cheating on me in the psych ward. I'm like, I called because I wanted you to not kill yourself. And then when I found that out, I want two people to kill themselves. This is bullshit. Suck. Jeez. Yeah, she sucks, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:44

That's crazy. That's too bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:45

I have this like uh at this like recurring joke where I'm like, I don't know if Paige is actually like amazing or if she's just normal. Right. Because like, and she seems amazing because I was with such a piece of shit for so I was with her for I was with my ex for 13 years. Holy shit. We started dating with a normal guy, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:06

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:08

What do you mean he didn't flip the car because I wanted to change the station or whatever the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 1:45:13

Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:15

Dude, that's fucking wild. The fuck I mean, we I we're getting close to one uh when we should wrap up, but man, I I love drug stories. Like my best my best friend uh is eight years sober off heroin. Okay, cool. And so, but he's got some fucking stories like you know, like he was like high. He he pissed his wife at the time off so bad because he came home high again, and he was like, I just gotta straighten out and then I can like go get her and like fix this. Yeah. So he's like starts doing coke to like try to straighten out from that.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:49

I've done I've done stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:50

And then he like overdid it, and then he calls me. He's like, dude, come on, you know, I need you to come over. I'm like, you're right? Like, just I need you to come over. Alright. So I go over there, and when I I he's like, just come in. I'm like, I walk into his house and I can't find him. I'm like, where the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 1:46:05

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:06

His name's Matt also. I go, man, what the fuck you? Hello? Where are you? He's like, Shh.

unknown 1:46:11

I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 1:46:12

And he's standing behind the curtain in his living room, and he's like in this like standoff with a fucking raccoon that's in his yard.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:20

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:21

He's like, he keeps like looking out the window going, like, this motherfucker. He's fucking, he's like, dude, this he's fucking with me. He's fucking with me. I'm like, you need to go take a shower and go the fuck to bed.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:30

Like you're there was one time I was hanging out with this one guy, and like we were all doing meth and coke and stuff. But I I never really was the type person to like get super like peek out the windows or like I did that on my own time. I wasn't doing that around other with other people. This one guy, he was just like, any kid that walked by'd be like, they're fucking fat, dude. They're a spy. And finally, I got so sick that he's like looking out the window in the hotel. He's like, they're after us, they're fucking after us. I like it pushed up into a chair, and I was like, shut the fuck up, dude. You're so fucking annoying. No one the fuck is after you. I was like, you know what? No, in fact, they are after you. I'm like calling them up right and calling them calling them. And then like finally ended up shutting up. Then I find out that he just had gotten down to jail for like an attempted murder or something.

SPEAKER_11 1:47:15

Fuck, you're making the wrong baby.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:17

And I was like, after the fact, everyone, because I couldn't figure out why at the time everyone was looking at me like, god damn, this bitch has some fucking bombs. And afterwards, they told me this, and I was like, I don't give a fucking fuck. I was like, he was annoying the fuck out of me, dude. And he sat his ass down when I told him to.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:30

Dude, I I you know what's I've I've only been around a couple of people that were using meth, but the but what I found out is that oh, people on meth don't run away from cops, they run to cops.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:41

Oh my god. They're like, hey, motherfuckers. And they don't shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:44

They're like, they're like, like causing a I'm like, hey, what the fuck were you trying to get caught? Yeah, you're like calling a you know, are you you run up to a cop that you randomly see and start accusing him of being a pedophile and like you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 1:47:57

Like no, my thing was that I would be extra nice, and if I saw a cop out, I'd be like, oh hi, how are you? How's your day going?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:05

And he's and the cops like the cops are definitely looking at him, like that's you're over there.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:10

Not me. I don't um I don't know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:12

Have you seen those? Like, there's like videos of it's like National Geographic, but it's like tweakers or something. You ever see any of those? I don't know. I don't know. There's like somebody who has like a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:20

Sometimes I wonder if I'm gonna see myself from Melbourne.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:22

Or something, it's like the funniest video. Like it's like somebody talking over, like somebody tweaking, you know, and oh, this this on this week's episode, you know, this guy fucking horror. It's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:32

Like oh, you find them we find them in the wild.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:35

Yeah, but you found this one in the wild.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:37

Dude, that's fucking horrible.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:39

This one searching through the garbage can, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:41

There's there's been some fucking there's been some people that came on the podcast, and I was like, is this guy dangerous? You know, I know like real close talker, talking about nothing. Like we like I'd be like in the middle of talking to somebody else, and then like they they would jump in and like completely derail the conversation, and I'd be like, fuck, dude, like this guy's high as fuck on something, you know. And then like, oh man, I was trying to, I was trying to leave a few months ago. I was trying to finish up on I didn't even post this episode. I was like, this episode fucking sucks. But uh, I was trying to like we we finished up like an hour and a half, and it might have even been less than that, because I was just like, fuck this. Like this guy's like done derailing every every time we s finish talking to like the band member who was like an adult. This guy was like fucking and like interrupts, and I'm like, motherfucker. But so like we wrap up and like we're standing there, and I'm like, Yeah, you know, thanks for coming out, you know, blah blah blah. Fucking get out of here. Yeah, and the guy's like, Did I ever tell you about fucking and then like 15 things I couldn't give a fuck about?

SPEAKER_06 1:49:45

Oh, it had to be Brandon, probably. Wait, wait, do you guys know the guy that came on and I didn't post he was on like shrooms or something?

SPEAKER_04 1:49:53

Oh my god. Yeah, no, that that was definitely me on meth too. I would tell every story.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:59

I was like, fuck do you? I mean I'm late. I mean, I know a lot of bands. I'm not gonna say who it was. But uh like, oh, it's posting soon.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:06

Okay, yeah, I'll check it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:08

It's never posting.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:09

No, I bet uh people have stories of me doing drugs that I'm like, are you sure that's me? I'm sure my grandmother told him a lot of stuff. Like the day I brought him home, she's like, Oh yeah, one time she flooded out the bathroom because she was super high.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:22

And sometimes she's gonna be around. She wanted me to keep me around. She wasn't telling me any bad stuff.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:26

She was trying to win me over. I do remember her telling you all this stuff. And I'm like, Grammy, stop it. Nobody doesn't want to see pictures of me passed out face first in my own vomit. Thank you. Why do you have those pictures?

SPEAKER_06 1:50:38

Foxy. Oh, maybe she's like.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:40

Oh, she kept all of it. She had like she got a book made for me the one day of all the she's she made a book?

SPEAKER_02 1:50:45

Yes, it's like a shutterfly book of all your mandators.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:49

Literally was named Barry Ann's Mistakes.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:52

Your grandma's fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:55

Oh, I love her. I love her.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:56

And she's like she's still in Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah. She ever come here?

SPEAKER_04 1:51:00

Sometimes she's she's starting to decline in health a little bit, so she has a hard time.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:05

But she'd be great on this show, but I want to bring her in so she can just shit on you.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:09

Oh my god, she would be hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:12

Just like bring the fucking shutterfly book of the colour. Maybe she can get Riley Green on here, too.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:19

Wait, what? She was getting scammed by she thought it was Riley Green, the country singer, or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:25

I was like, wait, hold on. Yeah, she got scammed.

SPEAKER_06 1:51:27

She's got scammed a few times by young, good-looking country singers that she thinks she's dating.

unknown 1:51:33

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:34

And when I said that she probably wasn't a real person, she took all my pictures off the wall and threw them in the trash. I get a phone call from my mom. She's like, Grammy's throwing you away. And I was like, what do you mean? She's like, Yeah, she got mad and took your pictures off the wall. They're in the trash can.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:49

The funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:51

I'm like, okay, tell her I love her too.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:54

What a drama queen.

SPEAKER_11 1:51:55

I fucking love her.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:55

Oh, she is. And like most of my family, like, they want nothing to do with her now because they're just like, we can't deal with her anymore. And I'm like, you know, like, first off, I owe my I owe my life to her, but I was like, but also, like, you gotta admit, this shit's fucking funny. Like, stop getting so butthurt about it. You know that she's not gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:11

I want to hire her. I like I want someone like this in my life all the time.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:14

I'm like, and sometimes I'm horrible because she'll be texting me about something and I'll just kind of egg her on, and then I'll get texts from my mom be like, did you just say that?

SPEAKER_02 1:52:21

Cut it out! You're causing problems for us over here. Dude, poking the bear is my favorite pastime.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:27

Oh yeah, I'm I'm I'll fucking menace with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:30

I love it. It's my favorite pastime. It's the funnest thing to do, dude. I you know the guy in Happy Gilmore where he's like yelling jackass from and then and then he and then Adam Saylor fights Bob Barker. Oh yeah, yeah. Like I had that exact situation, but I was the guy yelling jackass.

SPEAKER_06 1:52:44

Oh, you just get people to fight.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:45

Dude, my buddy, so my buddy went on vacation. Um, you know, I'm a pipe fitter. I my buddy went on vacation, he came back and I was giving him shit. I was like, it was a shitty day out, and we're in an open trench welding on this 14-inch diameter pipe. And I'm like, Tim, you haven't made any fucking welds in like a week. He's like, I was on vacation. And I'm like, Yeah, I know, but you're a you call yourself a fucking welder. You're making all this money over as a welder. Me and Barrett and Brandon are making all the fucking welds, you haven't welded shit, and blah blah blah, you know, just digging at him. And he's like, Motherfucker, all right, I'll get in the hole. I'm not scared. I'm fucking, I'll make the weld, I don't give a fuck. And so like I'm giving him shit hard as fuck, like all morning from like 6 a.m. to like when we're like ready to actually weld the pipe that we were flying in on the crane. And he goes, uh he uh I we me and uh another guy get the pipe fitted up, we got it all clamped up, the gap is correct, everything's like perfect, which takes a while. And I look and Tim is putting on greens, which are like coveralls, and I'm like, You're not even fucking dressed yet? Let's go! What the fuck? And he's like, Oh, come on, man, it's fucking it's raining out. You want me to weld in the rain? I'm like, what are you a bitch? Get the fuck out of here. So I'm like, I'm getting in his head. And you're just messing with him the whole time. I'm just being fun. I'm thinking I'm being funny, but I'm actually getting him pissed. Right, right. And but the thing is that my my partner.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:03

What happened?

SPEAKER_06 1:54:04

Diddle battery?

SPEAKER_02 1:54:06

Oh no, the fucking memory card just crashed out. Oh man.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:11

Well, we got this one still.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:13

Yeah, it's gonna be just me in this episode. Well, all right. So well to finish the story. That sucks. Hopefully it saved like most of the episode. Um, you know what's funny is I think I lost one episode, and I don't know yet. I might have to call that band to come back out. But uh, so I'm poke, I'm poking the bear. I'm fucking with him. I just like I'm like, Tim, you fucking bitch. Get down in the hole. Why are you wasting your time, Bob? You know, wasting everyone's time. It's raining, blah, blah, blah. But the thing, the the consequence of me talking shit, which I didn't realize was happening, is I was actually pissing off another guy. And he was like, Yeah, this motherfucker doing shit. This motherfucker is fucking around too much. So like I got Mark all pissed off. And so Tim gets in the hole, and uh Tim's like, this doesn't fit up perfect. You got a fucking one-inch gap on this side of the pipe, and it's slammed shut on the other side, and then Mark's like, What are you fucking retarded? You got a 16th-inch gap and a three-eighth gap. You can't fucking weld it. I'll weld that. I'm not even a welder. And I'm like, oh shit, I made mom and dad fight. Oh my god. I'm like, all right, let me just watch this. I'm just gonna go off to the side here. Let me record.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:21

Oh man, I could get some popcorn and it started.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:24

It started raining hard, and like everyone on the crew except for me, Mark, and Tim, the three guys fighting stayed. Everyone else left. And I was like, this is so funny. I love that I made mom and dad fight, and I just get to be like the conniving little asshole. Well, now that my card fucking crashed out, I guess we should ramp up. All right, yeah. That was good.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:46

You know, I've I don't know. My brother's probably my brother is watching the kids right now, so he's probably messaging me like, get home crazy.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:52

Getting sick of this.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:53

All right, I he's been helping me out a lot lately, and I'm like, I feel so bad. I'm like, they're probably driving you absolutely nuts.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:00

Put them all on a video game and fucking.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:02

I think I've been home like two weeks this year so far or something. It's been pretty crazy. Yeah, I think it's been crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:07

What are you for work?

SPEAKER_06 1:56:08

Yeah, so I'm in sales for like radio frequency test equipment. Okay. Um and I yeah, I cover like the Midwest and Canada. So you're always we've had a couple vacations already this year, so it's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:22

Radio frequency testing equipment.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:24

Yeah, so like anything, uh basically any electronic device has to go through some testing to be allowed to be put in the market for every industry. And uh, we we we make the RF equipment, which is like stuff that's transmitted in the air, right? So anything wireless, GPS, AMFM transmitting, like all that type of stuff, all the way up to high multi-gigahertz, 44 gigahertz, 100 gigahertz, like some crazy high frequency stuff. So um yeah, we sell these real high-end instruments to basically any company in the world that needs to test with it or develop products with it and stuff like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:04

So I can imagine you're all over the place. Well, Michigan's probably a good state for that with all the things.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:08

A lot of automotive here. Um there's been a ton of military stuff all over the country lately.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:14

Um anything commercial is always busy too.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:16

So traveling constantly's gotta be fucking brutal on the thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:19

I mean, yeah, the stuff on her yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:22

I mean, it's gotta be tough on him actually doing it. And you too, of course, right? But like, gosh, I'm like, I just wish he was home. I mean, it's just even just like I enjoy at nighttime him coming home, we watch a movie together after the kids are in bed, and it's just like after two weeks of not having that, it's like usually I'm home on the weekends, it's like a Monday to Thursday, Tuesday to Thursday kind of thing. So going back to see her and stuff, and his other band is out there too. So just a lot of stuff to do, all good stuff.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:56

Busy guy.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:57

Right on. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. It's better to be busy than not busy. Yeah, right. Yeah, like I said, the only thing worse than working is not working, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:04

You know, so oh yeah, when he's like even during COVID, like I love him. But I was like, okay, we're in this house all day, every day. Go back to work.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:13

No, I was how many relationships ended during COVID. Oh no, I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:20

I know. Meanwhile, I was like, You guys were starting. I was actually mainly, I was like, never leave me ever again. You don't ever have to go back to work. You can work from home.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:29

Oh, well, that's good. That's how it should be. If me and Paige were in the in stuck in a house for fucking like three months straight together, I don't dude, I don't know. We were, yeah. I love I love Paige to death, but my god.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:39

But yeah, basically the year before COVID was when we met.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:42

So it was like and then we got stuck in the house.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:44

And yeah, ironically, the last girl I dated was like I didn't spend enough time with her, right? If she would have, you know, been nicer for another m six months, she would have been stuck with me for a couple years, right? She would have been completely happy. She would have got her whole film. Oh yeah, it would have been great.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:59

She would have been sick, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:00

But it is also nice when you travel and I can kind of go into like sewer rap mode and just like sit in my bed and eat a bunch of snacks and pull a blanket over my head and nobody to judge me.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:09

So yeah. Yeah. That's why you gotta maintain a a life separate too, you know, like have hobbies separate from each other so you can like enjoy when you actually have time together, you can enjoy it instead of just like absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:21

It took me a long time to realize that. But once I did, I was like, it's so much better. I I have my own friends, I go out and do my own thing, I have my own hobbies, right? And he's got his own stuff too.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:30

Yeah, especially having like, you know, like coming from like a toxic relationship and then going into a healthy one, you're like, oh, you're allowed to have a life. Yes, you're allowed to have hobbies, and I'm not sure if you're like, you don't have some guy texting you be like, Where are you? Are you fucking that guy?

SPEAKER_04 1:59:43

You fucking bitch, you know, and it's like, oh wow, I can go to a concert and you're not like threatening to divorce me or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:49

Right, I'm packing because you're not home yet or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:52

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:52

Yeah, yeah, it's awesome. Dude, being in a healthy relationship's the shit. It's very underrated.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:57

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:58

I I I was like, I like toxic relationships because the crazy bitches fuck good, and it's like nah it's not worth it. Everything else sucks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:05

I mean, it's not to say it's not hard work, too, but it's definitely better.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:11

Nothing that is worth it is easy, you know. So exactly. Anyway, you guys are ghosts on now on this podcast. Hopefully it saved half of it. Like, fuck, dude.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:21

Yeah, let's hope we got something. Yeah. Had to see these titties on camera at least, you know, for a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:28

You know, I'll just like I'll just use it.

SPEAKER_11 2:00:30

Can you like zoom into those during the whole session or what?

SPEAKER_02 2:00:33

I'll just use Sora to fucking like generate like a like a decent version of both of you guys.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:39

Can you yeah, just generate like the last five minutes of this, please? Sitting across the add on to this somehow.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:45

Just it'll be a still, just like right, exactly. Just like an action shot, like the end of a fucking corny sitcom.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:53

Give me the video and we'll come up with something. Grok and whatever AI tools. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:57

He he loves the AI videos.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:59

We could go we could go off on a tangent. I am such a fan of AI, and I had I had a band come on here, and they were like, we talked for like 45 minutes, and they are very liberal and very against AI. And I'm like, you just don't understand what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:15

Well, yeah, most musicians are like super pissed right now about AI. And it's like it's a new tool, you just gotta figure out how to use and make it work for you.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:26

Okay, give me a list of break it down to clean the house, or like, I gotta do this. And I'm like, honestly, at this point, like I couldn't live without it.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:32

It reminds me of being like in the early 2000s when Google was starting to take over and everyone's like, my day, we had to fucking do this. And it's like, yeah, but it's not your day anymore. Who gives a fuck? Like, learn the new tool or die. Like, that's all it is. It drives me absolutely fucking insane. All these people are like, it's it's using so much water. You know what else uses water? Fucking every process in the world. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:54

I know I said one time and he's like, Are you serious? Why are you saying that? And I was like, honestly, I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:00

I'm I'm I'm like center left, right? Like, I'm like, I'm I I would have called myself a liberal, a liberal democrat until Biden's administration. I'm like, oh, I am not you guys. But I built all these liberals, right? Like the very like woke, all the woke people are like, you gotta drive electric cars, electric cars. Not Elon's electric cars, but electric cars, right? I built the Lake Orion, uh the GM Lake Orion plant.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:22

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:23

There's a weld water system that is a 30-inch diameter pipe that runs through the entire fucking room. No, Lake Orion. Oh, Lake Orion has the same thing. Okay. So there's weld water. There's all of these plants, all there's like 15 different fucking areas that have welding robots, and those welding robots need to be cooled so that they don't fucking melt to what they're welding. And the so the weld water system cools these robots. It's a fucking massive pipe system, and it uses the same cooling tower technology that a fucking AI data center uses, and everyone's like, oh, it's using so much water. Do you understand? Every single fucking building in Detroit also has a cooling tower on top of it. Every hospital has a cooling tower. If you look at everything at that point, yeah. Oh my god, you killed a dolphin to fucking generate this image. Sick. Fuck that dolphin. I love AI. I'm ride or die for ChatGPT, dude. I like God. I hope Sam Altman doesn't turn out to be a scumbag because I'll be real bummed because I'm not exactly happy.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:33

I say please and thank you. I'm like, it's it's I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:37

Dude, I tell you what, I never I never thought I'd be a fan of Skynet, but I'm like, I'm like I'm like the guy in the Matrix who's like, I know this isn't steak, but my god, it's fucking delicious. I'm that guy. I'm fucking Cyrus, whatever Cyrus.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:50

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:51

Anyway, on that note, uh goodbye, ghosts who are not in the video anymore. Hopefully you're in half the video or most of the video, but dude, yeah, thank you for coming out. Fucking had fun shooting the shit. Yes. When you can manipulate your brother into babysitting again, we'll have you on. Yeah, for sure. We fucking ran long. I gotta go, but next time we'll do we'll do some kind of performance. I know you guys brought your guitar.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:14

We were ready to play a few if you can.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:15

I've never done like a podcast or anything before. I was like, let's just be prepared. I was like, but I think it's just like what happens, what happens? I was like, this is great just for like getting our personalities out there, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 2:04:25

Yeah, you guys are fine.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:26

It's like not everything can just be a performance, so yeah, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:29

Well, I I I and I do think like the the modern I know we're doing like the Midwest goodbye. We do this every fucking podcast where like I'm figuratively like standing in the screen door, I'm like, all right, I gotta fly, but here's like another half hour. Yeah, but yeah, I mean, but I do think in this social media day and age, like people that become fans of an artist want to know like behind the music or behind the comedy or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:52

What kind of person you are, what yeah, you know, your crazy personality.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:56

You don't want to get bamboozled by another fucking Cosby or R. Kelly, you know. So yeah, for real. You want to know who this person is. So yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:03

And I can't shut the hell up so people ain't gonna have no problem figuring out who I am.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:08

But yeah, we'll have you, we'll have you guys come back for sure. And uh Paige will be here next time. And we'll do and we'll do a fucking we'll do a performance of some sort. Yeah, so we can hear you guys actually jam. Yes, for sure. Fuck yeah, dude. Thank you guys for coming back. Yeah, thank you again.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:21

It was a great time.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:22

All right, and that note fucking peace. Not survival, it's it's finding purpose in white.