#59 - April Hollywood talks Empty Nest Syndrome, Stand Up Comedy, and Her “Hand Job Era"

This week on, Matt and Paige sit down with stand up comedian for one of the funniest and most unexpectedly emotional episodes yet.

The crew dives into parenting, life after raising children, and what it’s like for April to officially become an empty nester now that her only child is grown. The conversation takes a serious turn as they discuss comedian and his heartbreaking book about the loss of his daughter, leading to a raw conversation about grief, family, and finding humor through tragedy.

Of course, things quickly spiral back into chaos as April explains why she’s entering her self-proclaimed “Hand Job Era,” along with stories from the comedy scene, dating, getting older, and surviving life one uncomfortable laugh at a time.

If you like unfiltered comedy podcasts, Detroit stand up stories, brutally honest conversations, and complete nonsense, this episode is for you.

Follow, rate, and share wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:38

They don't.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

They never they love. They keep you on your toes. Please, please.

SPEAKER_09 0:43

Dude. Do you have kids?

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 0:45

I only have one. Okay. See, that's the right move.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

But no, I wish I would have more though.

SPEAKER_09 0:50

How old's uh how old's he?

SPEAKER_00 0:52

He is 25. 25, right? Yes, he'll be 22.

SPEAKER_09 0:55

So he's easy now.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Of course he's easy because he's on his own, but I'm like, he grown now, so I wish I had somebody because now I'll be all bored and alone. No.

SPEAKER_09 1:07

You got Misfit Church. You know, all of our fucking all the mics and stuff we do. You get to see the same knuckleheads at random bars all over Metro Detroit, you know? That's my that's my favorite, dude. I love it. No, I I have been well, we went on vacation for a week and I hit a mic in Miami, which was cool. Oh, that was nice. It was cool. It was hot as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Oh, I bet it was.

SPEAKER_09 1:34

When up we were we hit it at a brewery, and uh it was fine when we were sitting there because they had this literally, it was called a big ass fan. It was like a standing up fan that's like five feet tall. But uh it was fine sitting on there, but once I got up onto the stage, there's no air moving up there, and the lights on me, and I'm like, oh my god, it's 200 degrees up here. Bought the dad. I was like, and I was sauced up too, so I was like sweating and trying to remember my jokes and shit, and I was like, and like I came down and I'm like, I ate a bag of shit. And then no, the the guy that put me up, uh Raul, I wish I remembered his last name, Raul from the Miami Dave fucking uh comedy scene or whatever. Uh he put me on and he was like, dude, like that one joke and this joke, or that's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_06 2:19

Well, see, when you I was like, oh thank God.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Right, when you be thinking you do bad, somebody else would be like, nah, you didn't do we be, I think we be so hard on ourselves. Yeah. Oh yeah. So yeah, and Miami, did you notice there went no fat people in Miami?

SPEAKER_09 2:32

Oh, there's definitely fat people in Miami.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

What? When I went like 20 years ago, they didn't we couldn't find no extra large shirts.

SPEAKER_09 2:39

Oh no, I was there, so there was a f there was at least one.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

No, I mean, you talking about you? Yeah, no, no, I'm talking about belly, you know, like we see here.

SPEAKER_09 2:49

Oh, there was for sure like dudes from Detroit that I was running into. What locals?

SPEAKER_00 2:54

They had to be from Detroit, but people locals, yeah. We went and I we could not find no extra large shirts. We was like, oh my god, everybody, a small, a medium.

SPEAKER_09 3:04

We okay, so there's definitely something to this for sure. Because we went to uh we went to okay, so not Miami. We were in Miami and then we made our way down to the Keys. Okay. We went to Key West for a day, and I put on a black t-shirt just because I was like going through my laundry, you know? Like I was like, gave me your out of clothes, and I was like, I'm not, I was like wearing tan pants, and I was like, I'm not putting on this red fucking Hawaiian shirt. I'm look about to look like fucking Scarface. I'm not doing it. So I put on a black t-shirt and I was miserable like I bet you 15 seconds in. My neck. So I we went, I ended up buying like this $50 fucking fishing shirt. I don't fish. $50? It was like $50 and key what I was like, I had like it was like the only Or you would have melted.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

You would have blew up if you would have that black shark.

SPEAKER_09 3:50

Dude, there was the only okay, there was one of those like cringy t-shirt places where they're like, it's like the monster logo and it says like Miami or whatever, you know, like that stupid bullshit everyone comes home with. And I was like, I'm not buying one of those, you know. So we went into like an outfitter or whatever, and I was like, I don't know what's why I was like, I don't know what to get. So I just got like a thin fishing hoodie, and I was like, perfect. It was it was worth it. It was worth every penny. Oh really? Oh my god. I think it's cringy as shit because I'm not like a fisherman. Right, you know, so like it's got like a big fish on it and like a hook and line and stuff, and I'm like, fucking. I wish I could just like scrape that part of it off. Right. The material's real thin, you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

That's what I was gonna say. It must have been some breathable material.

SPEAKER_09 4:33

It was worth every penny. I would have been miserable otherwise.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Oh yeah, you would have melted if not burst into flame.

SPEAKER_09 4:40

We uh oh god, dude. There was some wild shit in Miami. I wish we would have spent more time in Miami. Like we were me and Paige were sitting at uh we got fucked up. It's like three in the morning. Three eighty in the morning. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Y'all didn't go to Wet Willie's?

SPEAKER_09 4:58

I'm not sure. I don't remember that name. Is that a club?

SPEAKER_00 5:00

It's a it's a yeah, I guess it's a club, like a bar, but they have all the slushies in the wall. I know they gotta still have a wet willies down there.

SPEAKER_09 5:09

We went to a place called Fat Tuesday, I think.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

And that was I think Fat Tuesday is similar because they had that in Vegas. Yeah. And it was kind of like a Wet Willie's, but that's where we first know we was in Savannah where we first found the Wet Willies. But anyway, they have all the slushy drinks with the alcohol already mixed in there, and they had names like uh Carla Cap, Hango, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 5:32

So Fat Tuesday is the same, or uh yeah, I think it's called Fat Tuesday.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Yeah, I think they similar.

SPEAKER_09 5:37

Yeah, but yeah, so that's like the same thing because they had some funny names. I mean, some of them were like electric lemonade, you know, but like some of them were funny. It's a slushy. You're drinking a gallon of sugar, you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

But I don't know, they must have put a lot of liquor in there because they did have us. Well, I was younger then, so my tolerance probably.

SPEAKER_09 5:55

Oh, no, no, no, you're right. I was obliterated. Okay. I was I was mad when I paid like $19 for the shit. Oh. But by the time I was done, I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

You got your money sword.

SPEAKER_09 6:07

I'm fucking hammered.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

That's all that mattered.

SPEAKER_09 6:10

I was like, I was fucking hammered. We went to we walked to another bar, and on the way there, I was like, there's a cigar shop. That sounds good. So I got a cigar, and then we sat down at this bar, and our bartender was definitely on Coke. And dude, it was I was just like, that I like settled in for a minute and I was like, this is fucking, this is the shit. Like I'm fucked up. I'm in fucking Key Largo. Okay, you know, that's hammered, fucking sitting at an outdoor bar smoking a stogie with a local.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

So how do you what do y'all get out of the cigars? Because they say you don't inhale it, right?

SPEAKER_09 6:43

Yeah, you don't inhale it.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

So what you do, you just and you blow it out.

SPEAKER_09 6:47

You just you well, you you puff on it and the like the smoke goes in your mouth, you know, and then you get like the nicotine buzz from it. Yeah, because that's it. It's like a full nicotine buzz. Yeah. So you You ever do like a Zen or like one of those like nicotine pouches that people put in their lips? Dude, when I'm telling you, that'll give you a full body buzz. Like you're like, it feels like it feels like if you how are you with caffeine?

SPEAKER_00 7:14

I just had to take a break from it because I I drink some coffee. Ooh. And they'd be having me on to go.

SPEAKER_09 7:21

Yeah. Okay, so like you know when you overdo it and you're like twitching, almost anxious, but like your body's like, you know, like.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

I think that's how I was the other day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 7:31

That's how that's how I feel on the nicotine buzz. I love it when I'm drunk. If I'm sober, but if but if you're drunk, oh I love it.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

I'll probably just stick to the weed.

SPEAKER_09 7:45

Yeah. I am a reformed weed hater. I fucking, I have been I was like, losers smoking weed, but doing nothing, not accomplishing anything.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Okay, that's why I had this quick cut back. You be so damn lax, like, oh I'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow comes, you I'll do it tomorrow. Don't get shit done. Bro.

SPEAKER_09 8:10

I got so I got I got a story. Okay. We uh my kids are in soccer, so I resent them right now because I'm busy as fuck and I hate it. But everyone says, you'll miss it when it's over. I won't. But we're we're at my all three of my kids had a soccer game on the same day, and one of my kids had a doubleheader. So we were there for like four hours or something. We got on the walk there, so we like we live real close to where they where the rec team plays. And so on the walk there, I like pull out the pen. I'm like, you want to? And she's like, and I'm like, alright. And then so like I pulled, I hit the pen and I hit it hard as fuck. And I was like, hold it together. Like, don't start like choking on the walk on the side of the road here because she's gonna get mad at me. So I'm like, you know, just like tearing up and shit. Bro, I was so fucking goddamn high. I mean, like, I felt like a teenager again. I we I sat in a lawn chair and it's cold, you know, it's like it's like 50 and windy, but when you're sitting still, that's cold, you know. So I'm like, I got like a hoodie on and a jacket on and a blanket on, and I'm still cold. And I say, so I cinched up my strings, you know, so I went shoot like fucking Kenny from South Park. And it it made a it made a circle, like in my vision. And then my high brain was like, oh, you're watching film right now, and I was just like creating these narratives of these people I was watching. I know damn well everyone that was near us was like, that guy's high as fuck. Because I was just like, I was creating backstories of people I never saw before.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

I'm like, Do you know my son and father always do that? I'll be like, how did you get that out of two people just crossing the street? He just would come up with a story, or I'm like, that's crazy. How the hell you just come up with that? No, I just know the way y'all brain operates, it's just so funny.

SPEAKER_09 10:02

Is it all guys you think?

SPEAKER_00 10:04

A majority.

SPEAKER_09 10:05

Yeah. I was fried though. It's like that's my excuse. I was fucking fried.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Well, your incident is way better than mine. You know, I was young and I tried some weed, and uh, I think, well, the EMS said they did put something on it. Let me tell you, I didn't smoke this weed. My heart got the racing. I was in the house, like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm about to die off no weed.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

I laid down, you know, like trying to lay down. My heart was doo-doo-doo doo doo. I'm like, oh my goodness. So I called the EMS. And then I called them back, like, what is y'all doing? What is taking so long? I'm like, my heart is over here racing. Yeah. EMS came. They like, they like, it smelled like somebody put something on your weed. I was like, oh my goodness, I used to be able to do it. Yeah, he was saying that they had a bad case of people was like spraying stuff and putting stuff on the weed.

SPEAKER_08 11:03

Oh, that guy's fucking with you.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

I I don't know, but I was like, oh my goodness, was they trying to take me out?

SPEAKER_09 11:10

With with a weed.

unknown 11:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 11:12

Dude, that guy's fucking with you. There's there's no way.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

There's no way they're like, oh, they're fucking oh, there's you're right. Cause I if you think about it, how would he unless he unless he's unless it smelled different because he didn't smoke or something. I don't know. But you know what? I didn't ever think about that. You're right. He probably did that.

SPEAKER_09 11:29

I think he was fucking with you.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

He's like, Yeah, watch this.

SPEAKER_09 11:32

That shit was laced. Look at me. You're gonna die. You're gonna die soon. He just started like fucking.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

But by the time that Gather had slowed down, I'm like, I'm straight now.

SPEAKER_09 11:42

I t I tell you what, I made that same phone call for the same reason, completely sober. I swear to god, I I I was I was driving home with my kids. We had dude, we we lived out in Holly, which is so dumb. It's because it's so far away from all of the work that I do. I'm a Detroit pipe fitter, like you know, so I'm I work in Detroit and like Warren and Sterling Heights, like you know what I mean, like where like the industry is. Yeah, okay. So we got this long ass drive. I drive from the job site, which I think was Dearborn at the time, to Waterford to get my kids, and then from Waterford to Holly, where I lived. So I had all this driving, and I was anxious. I think I was like mildly anxious in hindsight to start. And then my kids are just doing typical kid shit. It's like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And I'm like, hey, all right, enough. Like you look out the window, you never saw any of that before. Just fucking shut up and just don't no more. Enjoy the scene. And I look at my watch and my heart rate's like 215, 217, 220, and I'm like, whoa! And my fucking hands like like just did this, and I was like, I'm like, what the fuck? So I call I'm like, you know, so I like plug into my radio, I'm like, call 911, you know, like I got the Android Auto or whatever. And uh, so I called an ambulance and I'm like, I'm having a heart attack, and my and then my kids are like, oh, uh they all started crying. You know, they're like five, six, and like ten or whatever at the time. So they're like, ah, you know, they're all crying, and I'm like, I'm fucking dying, you know. I pulled over into a gas station. Uh huh. Some fucking wanna like bro cop shows up and he's like talking trying to talk my kids down, like, it's okay, he's gonna get looked at. I'm like, fuck you, fucking Braden, or whatever your bitch ass name is. Like, you don't know. Right. And they don't have a dad, dude. You know, and then the ambulance shows up, and but they there's two like kid emts and one like fucking rough woman emt. She's not saying nice, like a rough. Well, she's like, she's been an emt for like 15 years, and these other kids are like, they had to ask to go to the bathroom last year, you know what I mean? Like they're kids. And so they're like, alright, come on, and they're like, they're making it worse. Like, oh god, and and sh so they get me into the back of the ambulance and they start putting the EKGs and they got like stickies on my chest and stickies on my my shins, and they're like, and she's like, she gets in there, she goes, Stop! Everybody stop. Relax. Like this is this isn't we're here, this is the end of the emergency. It's like she had to like get the kids to chill the fuck out because they were gonna be. Yeah, and I'm like, I have a heart attack. Right. And uh so she does the EKG and she's like, okay, your heart rate right now is 170. Okay, that's still that. Which was high, especially for like sitting down for two hours. There's no reason, right? But she's like, but it's gone down whatever, 50 beats per minute in the couple of minutes since you called to when we got here. Right. And she's like, and then she starts reading EKG and she says, I can see two things. I can see not only you not having a heart attack, I can see that you never have had a heart attack. And I was just like, And it probably went down more than like No, it was just it was like anxiety was gone, but then like shame was like right here. It was like, you're blocking traffic, people are rubber necking, your kids are crying, you dumb fat piece of shit. What are you doing? I'm like, oh, I'm such a scumbag.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

You can't say you fat. You gotta watch with your words.

SPEAKER_09 15:19

I was fat as fuck. I was 320 pounds.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Oh, really? So you look good.

SPEAKER_09 15:23

Yeah, it's the drugs, dude. I'm on the Zimpic. I'm on the Zimpic. No, I'm on I'm on Z bond.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

What's that?

SPEAKER_09 15:30

The other brand of Zimpic. Same, same. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Okay, so it's doing good.

SPEAKER_09 15:34

It's working. Yeah, I lost.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

So you don't have no side effects from that?

SPEAKER_09 15:38

Oh, of course I do. Yeah. Yeah, of course I do. No, no, no. Uh my side effect is that I look like I'm wearing one of those flying squirrel jumpsuits when I take my shirt off.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Yeah, that's uh you could just do uh some resistance to tone that up. Dude. Yep, just some resistance. I talk about this.

SPEAKER_09 15:58

I talk about this on stage. I'm like, I wish like some people are going blind from Ozempic. And I'm like, I wish I was going blind from Ozempic. So you Because then I wouldn't have to see that this like I look like a word, I look like a deflated words. I look like a deflated bounce house when I take my shirt off. But yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Paige didn't say that. That's all him. That's my little sister name, too. Paige. Do you spell the P-A-I-G-E? Yep. Oh, y'all so fancy. How does she spell it? Same white. Oh that's why I said y'all fancy. When y'all can just say P-A-G-E. I didn't have any saying it.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

You're right.

SPEAKER_09 16:37

When we when we when we first started dating, I was making jokes about like I like I would text her and say P-A-G-E, and I'm like, she's like, it's you spelled it wrong. Like you're being dense, like a book, you know. Y'all be laughing all day. So dumb.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

Most of the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 16:56

We'll laugh until the fake tension becomes real tension. And it's like, I'm gonna go watch TV or something.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Because people be finding it hard to date comedians. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

Because they can't take anything seriously. I can. He turns everything into a bit. Like what? I mean, because you'd rather laugh than cry. That's true. Name one type? Name one. Everything your whole life is a bit.

SPEAKER_09 17:22

I'll tell you something I should have taken seriously, but I didn't. What? Here we go. When I uh I so I got in trouble and I got put on probation, and my probation officer was Dylan Larkin's mom. And Dylan Larkin is the the captain of the Red Wings. Really? And so she sat me down for the interview. Like she has to interview me, and she's like, okay, so this, blah, blah, blah, are you using drugs? No, are you drinking? Not since I was told I can't. Are you the blah blah blah blah blah? What's the source of your anger? I go, the red wings fucking suck. She's like, not the time. Like, sorry. Like, all right, my bad. That was funny though.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Should have thought her live a little. Like live a little.

SPEAKER_09 18:04

She was very nice. I was like, she was so nice that I was a little less resentful that I was on probation because of how I was like, I don't mind talking to her. Right. I mean, I want to get fucked up and this is bullshit. Like, this sucks. And then I got some gigantic black man breathing on my neck when I'm trying to take a piss in a cup in front of him. And my dick is in a hundred mirrors at a bunch of different angles. I'm like, I didn't even know that vein was there. And this guy's just breathing.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

That's how I do it with the drug test.

SPEAKER_09 18:29

Oh, yeah. And he was breathing on my neck, and I'm like, bro, you know how like I have started three pisses.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

One of my friends had that job where he sat and watched people pee all day.

SPEAKER_09 18:40

Was his name Marcus? Because I farted in that guy's face.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

There's Josh.

SPEAKER_08 18:46

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

Remember?

SPEAKER_08 18:48

Okay. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

We talked about this.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

So Josh didn't man looking at the me a penis.

SPEAKER_03 18:52

I guess not. He doesn't do it anymore.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Right.

SPEAKER_09 18:55

But I think I you know what? I think everyone should have to serve like a like a month doing that job.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Really?

SPEAKER_09 19:01

Yeah, just to reset like what they what a regular dick looks like. You know how many porn dicks I've seen? And I'm like, that's a dick. I gotta pee pee, bro.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

What did I walk into?

SPEAKER_09 19:16

What do you mean? I am I am this person all the time.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

All the time.

SPEAKER_09 19:22

Until I get like tired or overwhelmed. Then I'm like, I turn into a porn. And he's cranky.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Enough. You need a sneakers, then you. He sure does.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

I've done that before when he's gotten cranky.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Do you need ice cream? Do you need you need something? The answer is always yes. Oh, that's what you asked him. Yeah. Because I was about to say, no, I'm straight. No, that's what I say to him. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_09 19:43

So when I'm being a bitch, you're like, you need a You need a Dairy Queen?

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Mm-hmm. Yeah, because sweets normally get you together. They do. Especially chocolate. Eat some chocolate and you'll be like, dang, I feel good.

SPEAKER_09 19:55

Do you I think people that like fruity candy are psychopaths? I'm just gonna throw that out there. I don't really do fruity candy.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

I like now later.

SPEAKER_09 20:06

Yeah. But that's not really like candy. Like it is, but it isn't. You know what I mean? Like you're not gonna sit down and be like, oh, I got my guy, my now and layers to watch my movie.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Oh, you mean like Skittles?

SPEAKER_09 20:16

Yeah. Like skit, if you're if you're picking out Skittles or like those fucking orange slices, those things are so good. Oh no, I don't like peanuts.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

The nerd clusters though are so good. Disgusting. I love nerd clusters. They're they're basically like nerds rope nerd ropes, but they're cut up into little balls. They're better than the nerd ropes.

SPEAKER_09 20:36

It's like a little bit of a it's a little bit of like a gummy, but it's covered in hard nerds. So then there's like the crunch and the s- I've eaten a handful of them. I'm not gonna lie about it. But if your go-to isn't something chocolate, you're a psychopath.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

Chocolate is the best out. Because I say chocolate uh uh released like a good hormone like sex.

SPEAKER_09 20:59

Hell yeah. You know, I I tell you what, it might not be a scientifically proven aphrodisiac, but if I eat a bowl of ice cream, that's fucking I'm feeling good.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Okay. That's what I had for dinner. For real. That's what you had for dinner?

SPEAKER_09 21:11

I looked in the fridge and I was like, I I swear to god I did. That's why I was I was a fat piece of shit. Now I now I make a bowl this big and then I eat half of it and I'm like, oh Yeah, because your stomach's shrinking now.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 21:23

Oh I did, I really did have ice cream for dinner.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

I'm not I'm not surprised.

SPEAKER_09 21:28

I looked at the leftovers and I was like, I fucking don't feel like doing that.

SPEAKER_06 21:32

So I just ate a bowl.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

What was the leftovers? We made like burritos yesterday. Oh, I I stopped at Taco Bell too. I went and got me I went and got me um Mexican pizza and some tacos.

SPEAKER_09 21:45

I'm like, I got that's what you got for Cicco de Mayo. You live in Detroit. Why didn't you go to Mexican time? Get some fucking burrilla or something.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

I was at work and I didn't get off to eight. So I was like, damn, where can I go? You know, everything closed now, man, after that pandemic. Everything closed at nine. He used to be like 10. And I'm like, damn, where can I go get a good taco? And I'll say, taco. I was like, fuck you, let me go. Taco bear. And then I went home and took a shot.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

I'm like, that's what we had. We're at a softball league and we had games last night. And so I brought like um bagged margaritas, like the dailies. That's what I really.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

But I'm like, skip it. I'll take this little patron and some tiny. Call it the night. Perfect.

SPEAKER_09 22:27

Okay. Nothing wrong with it. That's a nice way to cap the night on.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Yeah, and the night.

SPEAKER_09 22:32

Get a little saucy. Eat a snack. Dude, I tell you what, I I do love taco though. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

I know you do.

SPEAKER_09 22:38

It's fucking, it's out of fast food.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Anybody else make good tacos as a fast food? Have y'all ever had Dale taco? I have not. I've heard it's oh, you don't like it? I think I've heard it's good. I tried it once, and theirs wasn't. Everything's wet.

SPEAKER_09 22:54

Ugh. Yeah. Everything's just like soggy and like wet. Every time I've had it.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

It doesn't seem like enough meat to me. I like a lot of beef. All my broth my brothers literally.

SPEAKER_09 23:04

My brother and all of his buddies, so like I grew up on the east side. All of my brother, my brother and all of his buddies loved Del Taco. Like when we were teenagers, like young teen, when I was young and he was an older teenager, because he's seven years older than me. They would be like pulling couch cushions apart to find change to be like, we're gonna go get some fish tacos from Del Taco.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

And I'm like, I'm just getting up on them and start noticing them.

SPEAKER_09 23:29

Oh shit, they've been around forever. Really? Yeah, yeah. This is like maybe he was in high school in like 03.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

So I was gonna say and that's probably in the suburbs. Because we don't got none in the hood.

SPEAKER_09 23:40

I think I I mean we were on the we we were in Roseville. It's not like we were like that's feeling no I'm not saying it's the hood, but I'm like, it's not that it's not like where where are you at in Detroit? I'm what's your address? Tell the people.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

I'm off uh six and telegraph. Okay, so so you're more west side than yeah, I ain't really in the hood, but I grew up in the hood. Yeah. Everybody thinks I live in Rufford because I'm across Telegraph, but really it's Detroit. Yeah, don't tell anybody. Tell nobody because then all they ghetto asses gonna come move. Well, they starting to actually come move over there. You know what I'm saying? How do you know when it's time for you to move off your block? When somebody two houses down got a damn whole chop house, chop shop in front of the damn house. He had like three engines on the grass. I was so mad.

SPEAKER_09 24:30

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

I'm like, I gotta get the hell of it.

SPEAKER_09 24:32

Dude, I don't know. I tell you what though, depending if I was if I was in like an urban area and that was going on, I'd be like, fuck. But if I was in like a country area, I'm like, that guy can fix some shit. I'm gonna have that guy come over.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Yeah, that's what my son thought. But I'm like, not on the front grass. He's talking about he's making some money. I'm like, when? The inches sit out there the whole winter, y'all. I'm like, them inches ain't gonna be worth shit.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Once they finally he's gonna sell it as they haven't been sitting out all winter. Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Yeah, it'd be alright.

SPEAKER_09 25:00

He gotta sell them ass is one of one of my buddies' house, he he has several project cars. And I always like whenever I see like an obnoxious car for sale on Facebook Marketplace, I send it to him, and I'm like, come on, dude, do it, do it. Go get it. And he like, I sent him, I sent him something that was just fucking dumb the other day. I don't remember what it was.

unknown 25:20

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

And what'd he's like? I'm gonna go get it.

SPEAKER_09 25:24

It was like a it was like an 80s Volkswagen rabbit that was like clean. Now I'm remembering. Oh wow. And I was like, this thing's rabbit. And it was like for 2500 bucks. He's like, I'm getting it. And I'm like, I feel like I'm your uh what are the what are those people like the the uh the art dealers, they like they're like, what's the word? Like I'm a curator, like I like I feel like I'm a curator of all his garbage that's going in his lawn.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

As long as it's not right, okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

That's all that matters. We got enough garbage. And y'all won't believe I seen them lift lift it. They didn't use a machine. He had three guys lift it off the back of a pickup truck. Uh and it was freezing that they had to be like 20 below. I said, nah, I gotta watch this shit. Cause if you get somebody to hold up, they end properly. Oh, it's gonna be some a sight to see. They made it successfully, though. I couldn't believe it. I went and peed and came back and watched them like this some shit right here. But yeah, they were successful, got it on the ground, but I never seen it get put in the car though.

SPEAKER_09 26:28

Dude, uh Okay, my my buddy talking about Detroit in in general is like sparked this memory, and I gotta talk about this. Okay. My buddy Ron is a pipe fitter. You know this, you know the song, uh, what's his name? Tone tone. It's like, what's happening? What uh what I do, uh-huh, we don't know, we don't know. So he his he was playing music. My buddy Ron was playing music and that song came out and started singing along. He's like, How do you know that? And I was like, Motherfucker. Like I'm from the sea stop gatekeeping, 12 and 94. Bitch. No, but he uh so he he he started laughing, he's like, I can't believe you know that song. And so he started telling me the story. He's like, You ever watch the music video? I'm like, Yeah, we're that on Bell Isle. Yeah, I've seen the music video. He goes, Watch it again. I'm in the music video. I'm like, no, you're not, shut the fuck up. He's like, Yes, I am, and he's uh he goes, I was I was on Bell, he's got a 68 Mustang or something, and he had it on Bell Isle summer day, and tone tones recording his fucking music video. So like Ron's out there walking, whatever, and he sees a bunch of dudes like dancing near his car, and a couple of guys are like leaning on his car, and he's like, What the fuck? He goes over there, yo motherfucker, get the fuck off my car, and he's like, you know, pushing and smacking people off his car. And uh they go a lot of nerve.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

They go like no somebody to be leaning on somebody. They were shooting a mission.

SPEAKER_09 27:55

They were shooting a music video on a side.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

It don't matter, you feel should ask. Like, whose car is this?

SPEAKER_09 28:00

No, I know, but like that's what I'm saying. You park your car, you walk away, you come back, motherfuckers recording in front of your car. That's a little nerve. There's like a hundred motherfuckers in the video. Like, I would have been like, what the fuck? I'd be like, that's not my car anymore. I might have just left.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

People with some nose, though. They don't think rules apply to their hands. I'm like, what the fuck, too?

SPEAKER_09 28:18

If you watch, if you watch, so he gets in a fight with the car. Now I'm gonna have to go watch the video. They all clear it up, you know? They're like, no, no, no, no, no. It's cool, it's cool, it's cool. We're like, we have another Mustang here, we want a chimara or whatever, blah blah blah. And they're like, pull your car up, we're gonna shoot in front of all these classics. Like, we want you to buy your car in the video, it's sick. And he's like, All right. So if you watch the music video, there's a thousand motherfuckers dancing around these three cars. Uh-huh. The only person not dancing is Rob because he's leaning on his car from the driver's side. Like, he's standing outside leaning on the roof of his car, like blocking motherfuckers from scratching his car.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Hey man.

SPEAKER_09 28:55

I was like, this is my favorite fucking story ever.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

Now I'm gonna have to go watch the video.

SPEAKER_09 28:59

And then I did a fucking spot at Keisha's, guess what song I was fucking played up to. I was like, I gotta fucking talk about this now.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

So I read the other day the man, um, I guess he's like an investor in Dubai. Did y'all hear he wanted to do that to Bell out? He wanna do like condos and high rise.

SPEAKER_09 29:19

No. That's not the that's not, that's our fucking central park for the city.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

But I was like, that would be nice, though. No, we already got a few islands like Gross Eel, and then where Babalo used to be, they got nice houses on there.

SPEAKER_09 29:35

Well, maybe because I was thinking I wanted to go to Dubai this year, but there's so many buildings around downtown already that you don't need to you you're gonna take over the only place where there's like nature in downtown Detroit. That is that's like our mini central park.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

Yeah, that is historic. But yeah, I just read that the other day. Now I don't know if it's gonna go through.

SPEAKER_09 29:59

No, I hope not. They already fucked up the riverfront park. They they didn't, you know, I thought that was deliver on it. It looks like shit.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

It's something like something they just threw together.

SPEAKER_09 30:12

Yeah, they had this like computer generated riverfront thing that was like, look how amazing it's gonna be when we do this fucking riverfront condo, and then like look what's going on. It's it's there's nothing to talk about there, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

You know, they just doing something, I guess, it seemed like they doing something. You know, dude, I be building it up.

SPEAKER_03 30:32

They are doesn't need to be built up now.

SPEAKER_09 30:34

It doesn't need to be built. Bell Isle doesn't need to be the city is is definitely coming back to life.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Yeah. Did you see Ron Taylor won yesterday?

SPEAKER_09 30:43

Ron Taylor?

SPEAKER_00 30:44

You know how familiar we're here? He's a comedian from here, and he was on Kevin Hart's Funny as fuck, that's what it's called. And he won yesterday. So that's been the last, you know, the thing everybody's been talking about. So, you know, we gotta win, not even one. We got a guy from the city on Kevin Hart's show, and that's crazy been talking about.

SPEAKER_09 31:03

I didn't know how vibrant like Metro Detroit and Detroit's comedy scene was until I was in it, and I was like, holy shit, there's a million motherfuckers in this scene, and they're all good, you know?

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Yeah, mostly.

SPEAKER_09 31:16

Well, a lot of them are good. A lot of them are good. There's this fucking asshole Matt Smith. He goes up there and he reads off his phone because he's really bad at memorizing.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

But you know what? I'm not mad at him for that. I I think I know who you're talking about. He's talking about him. Wait, because it's another guy, his name's Matt. And what he don't do independence, he does something else, and his name is Matt too, and he had a phone. That was probably me. No, no, no. He he a little slimmer.

SPEAKER_06 31:43

You motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

But I didn't need to take a jab. But I do he do the independence. I'm trying to think. I'm I'm gonna tell you his name. I'm gonna find out his name. You're gonna be like, oh yeah, I know you're talking about. But look, I'm not mad at you because this is what I was telling him the other night at uh New York.

SPEAKER_09 31:59

You're almost thinking I was thin.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

No, you look fabulous. Look, push it out.

SPEAKER_06 32:06

No, you just gotta hold it in.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Um, but look, I I was telling them the other day, my old stuff, I can remember the old stuff. But when it comes to new stuff, it's like I will get up there and and literally go blank. Yeah. Because I, of course, you even though it's not a real show, you know, my nerves will kick in. Oh, yeah. And I heard this other comedian, it really helped me. He said the same thing. He was like, I've been doing comedy for 10 years, and he said it was only three people there, and so he felt comfortable. And once he got the going, he said he ended up doing like 30 minutes. But he was like, he always revert back to his old material. And I'm like, damn, that's what I always do. Yeah, so I've been doing like you, putting it on my phone so that I could try to remember it. And then when I'm getting old laughs, I start going back to the old stuff.

SPEAKER_09 32:54

Yeah. Yeah. I I have I've done a c I've done a couple of sets without the phone, and I I like the way I feel during it better, but the performance is definitely worse. Like when I'm like when I'm doing it, I feel like I'm locked in with the audience, it feels like a conversation instead of me like reading like, hey, this is funny, but then I'm like reading a text, you know? Yeah. So like I felt locked in with the audience, but I forgot all my like I forgot tags, I forgot punchline, I skipped entire premises, and I was like, fuck. Yeah, damn it, that was supposed to do this premises first.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

When you get off, like, dang, this is the good one right here.

SPEAKER_09 33:28

Yeah, oh dude, it happens every time. Every time I'm like, oh, I did okay, and then I watch it back or think about it. I'm like, that fucking tag, damn it. I skipped when I did my showcase at Mark Ridley's, I completely like fumbled through my last joke.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

Skipped the whole thing, just went like right to the punchline.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

I got I got the light and I was like, and I was just like, that dude, that light, you'd be like, damn.

SPEAKER_09 33:51

Yeah. Well, especially at Heroes.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

It happened though.

SPEAKER_09 33:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

We humans.

SPEAKER_09 33:55

Dude, the the uh I I heard that the Ann Arbor showcase, if if you fucking run long, you they'll they'll like ban you for like six months.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

I think I did read that.

SPEAKER_09 34:06

I'm like, dude, so that scares me.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

But you know what? I have been respectful of it because that that is what they taught me at I took the class at Mark Ripley's. Yeah. Ritley's rather. And that's what they were saying, that a lot of people would get mad and won't book you and or call you if you because if you think about it, you do have to be considerate, especially if they got a whole lot of comedians.

SPEAKER_04 34:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

And some people they ignore the light on purpose.

SPEAKER_04 34:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

It's like, now you've seen them hit the light three times. We was at New Way, and I said something to this guy. I'm like, Paul, get his ass off of there. You know how many people he be having. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I'm sleepy, I'm ready to go. Right, he goes to sleep for a he gave him the light like three times. I'm like, come on now. That's rude.

SPEAKER_09 34:47

That motherfucker is just soaking up the time. Yeah. There's always like 50 people on that night. Oh my god. So like him doing him, yeah. That's definitely not the place to do it.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Okay, definitely not the place. It's like it's too many people waiting to go up for you to just be ignoring the light. Right. And for him to give it to you three damn times, I'm like, oh, come on now.

SPEAKER_09 35:05

Right. I mean, I'll get if I get bumped by someone that's like working, I'm like, okay, no problem. But you're fucking running long as an open micer and there's 40 other motherfuckers trying to get five minutes. Like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 35:18

Come on, be considerate.

SPEAKER_09 35:20

Yeah. What are you fucking doing?

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Yeah, the little hood of me came out that night.

SPEAKER_09 35:24

I don't like that shit. I don't like when people are disrespectful to the other. No, me not. Me neither. Like, we were we did I was on a mic recently and the chick that was that had a set, she she ran like 10 minutes, and we were like, bro, what are you doing? And she w and she was like, she had like a tight like three minutes, and then she was kind of like rambling for the rest of it. And I was like, what are you doing, bro? Like, what the fuck? And she's getting I mean, same thing. She's getting lit, he's like flashing it, like doing all kinds of things, like you know what I mean, like putting his hand in front of it, trying to like, and then eventually he just like walked up and he's like, Alright, they gotta give it up for fucking blah blah blah. And you hate to do that to people, but I have to at that at that point when he's 10 minutes, yeah, that's a lot and then a lot, and and that was the she was the second to last comedian on that one, so it was like come on so we can get out of here.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Yeah, well for sure like everybody leave.

SPEAKER_08 36:20

Right, right. Right. That's something.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

Yeah, yeah, that was when we were in Miami, they do 10 minute mics instead of five. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 36:29

He was like, Yeah, Rob Will walked up to me. He was like, uh, I was like, hey, how much time are we doing? He's like, 10 to 15. 10 15? I was like, huh. Like, motherfucker, I got an okay five. I got a tight three.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

That's how I used to be. It's so funny. I used to be so nervous. I'd be like, how many minutes you want me to do? They'd be like, oh, about 10. I used to be like, telling my mama, like at eight minutes, give me the light or do something so I know. And I used to be like, Phew, when I see her do that. But now I done got a little more relaxed and comfortable. So I'd just be like, all right, how many minutes? And then it's like once I get warmed up, yeah, I'm going. But I used to be so nervous, and that I'll be watching for the light, like, where the ass at?

SPEAKER_09 37:15

Dude, I ran through a lot of material on that in that 10 minutes. I ran through a lot of material on that.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Yeah, you'd be surprised. You'll be thinking, like, oh, this is gonna, when you get the going, it's like, oh damn, that joke was only a minute.

SPEAKER_09 37:27

Dude, I thought I did five minutes just on Miami.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

Right.

SPEAKER_09 37:30

And I was like, I it was it like in hindsight, it was probably um in it.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

Right. And that's what it would be. You'd be like, damn. And I had to learn how to slow down too. You gotta slow down. You just gotta learn how to do that. Yeah, and take a break, let them do their laughs. Yeah. Because I used to be, don't want to forget nothing.

SPEAKER_04 37:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

So I'm up there hurrying up. Oh, let me hurry up so I don't forget that last joke. But you gotta do a little breather and let it settle in, yeah, resonate with them a little bit.

SPEAKER_09 37:56

Yeah. That's I have a hard time with that because that tension feels like I fucked it up. You know what I mean? Like when you're like, and blah, and then you're like, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, please. Go blank, please, go blank. Please fucking laugh. Laugh or do something. And then I'm like, and I'll I'll listen back to my sets. And if every time I rem every time I see when I panicked and jumped to the next premise, I stepped on the laugh and I stopped it. Like it was about to go. And then I'm like, so anyway, and then everyone's like, hmm, and then they're like paying attention again. And I'm like, oh, what am I doing? I'm stepping on the laughs that I earned. What am I doing?

SPEAKER_00 38:33

That's something though, how you it's everything I feel like no matter what job and everything, you don't really get the experience until you get the doing it. No matter how much training with anything, yeah. Until you really get the experience, and you know, you gotta weed out and see what worked for you and get your rhythm. Yeah. So hands-on is the only best way.

SPEAKER_09 38:57

I I love being bad at something. Like I I love that I love the feeling of like being brand new at something. And like I and so like I was an apprentice for five years, now I'm a journeyman, so it's like, okay, like there's some there's some continuing education that I can do in my world, but it's not the same, you know what I mean? And like I got there's only like a handful of things that I feel like I could say I'm like really good at, and like drums I've been playing since I was eight years old, so I'm excellent at drums. And disc golfing, which is fucking the whitest shit ever, and you can shit on me for it later. Disc golfing.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Is that the thing when they sh uh shoot like a disc and then y'all shoot?

SPEAKER_03 39:33

No.

SPEAKER_06 39:38

No, no, that is absolutely disc golfing.

SPEAKER_09 39:42

That's so funny. No, it's literally like golf with a frisbee.

SPEAKER_03 39:47

But they have- Oh, you hitting the ball with the fast big big big big bigger. No, it's a you throw a frisbee, but there's a basket that you're throwing it into. The frisbee? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 39:55

Yeah, yeah. No? Okay, so there's like a there's a Okay, well, hold on. The reason I brought that up is like I got we'll circle back to it, but I got I got really good at disc golf. Like, and then I got and then I focused on it really heavily, and I got excellent at disc golf, and then I was like, alright, I'm done. Like, this is as far as I'm gonna go. I'm not gonna go any further. I can feel that this is the max. You know what I mean? So I like finding a new thing to be like, alright, this is the thing. Oh, that's cool. You know what I mean? Comedy though, like I don't want to sound like I'm like, oh, comedy's the next thing I'm gonna try to be okay at and then move on. Comedy I've been flirting with for 15 years.

SPEAKER_03 40:33

You throw it in one of those.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

I saw one, but I didn't know what it was.

SPEAKER_09 40:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

I I'm trying to think. I want to say it was at some parks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 40:42

In Bell Isle there's what is that? There was a disc golf course on Bell Isle. Ran by the city.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 40:50

And the the holes are always like 300 feet, give or take. So there's there's actually different. Dude, it's so fun, and it's it's like you can get all the discs you need for like 40 bucks to start like a starter pack. And then most of the places where there's a disc golf course, it's free. Okay. So you like you get your buddies and everyone buys a starter set, and you can play all summer for free. It's that's that's why I'm gonna have to try that. It's the shit, dude. I loved it. I I I got but I got so good at it that I was like, I'm bored with it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Like that's how I am. I get bored easily too. Once I've done something for a while, I'll be like, eh, some note. Some time for some note.

SPEAKER_09 41:30

I gotta I gotta fucking, I gotta, I gotta put a little disclaimer in there. By mean like for me, being really good was like par. Like I was I would throw like par or maybe maybe below par, like you know, one under, two under for an 18 whole round. So I don't want to be like, oh, I was like professional. Like I was just good. Like I was good, you know. That'll work. But that was as far as I was gonna go with it, because I didn't care about it enough to be like obsessed, right? To get like beyond that. You know what I mean? But it I I but I love the feeling of being brand new at something, so like I'm really enjoying being like in the early stages of doing comedy. You know? Like I love it. I love like the writing, the trying the new shit, or like rearrange like I have this I have this five minute bit about Ozempic and losing weight, and I rearranged the order of those jokes and rewrote the jokes and rewrote the segues between jokes like 50 times. And like completely re-like the original five minutes that I did about losing weight on Ozempic is so different than like what I did at Mark Ridley's that it's like it's almost like a complete new five minutes, even though the the premises are all the same. Right. You know what I mean? I love that, dude.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

That's good. That's what you're supposed to do. Let's say you're supposed to keep doing that and tweaking it and you know, redoing it until you get it right.

SPEAKER_09 42:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:49

And then I fucked it up because I was nervous. You're gonna have to sh take a shot before you go.

SPEAKER_03 42:55

Dude, I was like, uh a few drinks in.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

That's what used to help me, and so now I've been trying to do it sober so that I don't feel like I need the liquor.

SPEAKER_04 43:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:04

Well, yeah, I was sober. I just took some ashwagon. That's still sober. But it helped me though. You know what I'm saying? It calms you down. So I was gonna say, that's something you can check into.

SPEAKER_04 43:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

It helped calm my nerves down. Yeah, I kind of felt like I was a little high.

unknown 43:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:21

He used to take aswagon all the time. You want to tell that story? And you stop, and what you do with that? Well, he was taking like these.

SPEAKER_09 43:28

Preface, I was on probation.

SPEAKER_03 43:31

Yeah, he he was on probation, so not he wasn't drinking or anything. Okay. And we I was having a bonfire at my house. We had like it it was early when we first started dating, but I was having a bonfire and he was on this like regiment that he was taking these vitamins every day. And he forgot to take them, like he would take them throughout the day, but he forgot to take the morning one, so then he took all of them at once.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 43:57

And we went to Buffalo Wild Wings. Before our bonfire, and me and my friends and him are sitting there, and he looks like he's like fried out of his mind. I'm like, what is going on?

SPEAKER_00 44:07

You feel like that. I'm like, I was nervous. I'm like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_03 44:11

He's like, I don't know. I feel like I have to high off of vitamins.

SPEAKER_09 44:15

I was fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

Yeah, because I'm telling you, when I first started, I was taking one and I was like, Whoa, that's it. Oh, I kind of like that.

SPEAKER_09 44:23

Yeah. Dude, I was so I was taking a I was taking a stack of um I was taking like a multivitamin, an uh omega-3, uh, I think I was taking a vitamin D, I was taking L tryptophan, I was taking 5 HTP, and I was taking Ashwagonda.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

Oh my goodness, all at the same time.

SPEAKER_09 44:42

So I would, it was like, oh, these, these are the morning, this is lunchtime, this is before bed. And I felt amazing when I was doing this stack. But I completely I like she was saying, I completely forgot to do all of them, and we were going to B dubs or whatever. And I was like, let me just take all of them so I don't forget for today. I went to I went to Then we got back from B dubs. We we got back from B dubs and I was like, I gotta lay down. I feel so fucked up. Like I don't know, and so I lay down, I pass out hard, like and she like opens up the door, and so like the light from the living room came into the bedroom, and I was and I kind of like woke up and she's like, Are you okay? And there was a silhouette of my body in sweat.

SPEAKER_03 45:24

He was sweating so much. It looked like he was wet.

SPEAKER_09 45:28

I was swe I was sleeping on top of her comforter and I sweated so bad that there was like a chop outline of me in sweat. And she's like, Are you f are you okay? And I'm like, I am fucked up. And then like I went, like I got up and I was like, I gotta I gotta go to the like, so I go to the bathroom and I'm like peeing, and there's a window to the backyard where they were at. Her and her friend and her friend's husband. And they're like knocking on the window, I'm like, what the fuck? So like I you know, push it away or whatever, and I open up the I opened up the window, I was like, what? They're like, isn't it true that we waffle stomp? And I'm high as fuck off of all these vitamins. Right. And I'm like, what? Like, isn't it true that you poop in the show we poop in the shower and we stomp it down the drain? I'm like, what the fuck is happening right now? I was like, I gotta go to bed. I can't, I I know this is not what you're saying. Like, I know I'm hearing you wrong.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

My friend's husband was from New is from New York, so we were trying to convince him that. It was like a major thing to ship it in the shower. But down the drain.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

What the hell y'all doing here?

SPEAKER_09 46:33

I was so hot I couldn't play the I couldn't play along. It was like, I'm trying not to die.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Like, what?

unknown 46:41

It was.

SPEAKER_00 46:41

I was like, wait a minute, we're trying to get our mind right now.

SPEAKER_09 46:46

Die. Okay. You're over here talking about waffle stomping. Like, stop.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

Waffle stomping. So that's what it's called. I didn't get a name for it. I'd be like, damn, where the hell I've been.

SPEAKER_09 46:57

You never got bored and went on urban dictionary and just started scrolling? No, I'm gonna have to.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Building some new material for me.

SPEAKER_09 47:05

Oh my god. Here we go. We're going I'm going on urban dictionary. I haven't done this since I was like in. I haven't done this since I was in like fucking eighth grade.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

You're gonna learn some stuff. Okay, because they come up with something every day. I'm like, where the hell do they get that word from?

SPEAKER_09 47:20

Arrogant. Like it like ignorant, arrogant. Like error? It means to be twice as certain as someone who is merely arrogant while possessing only one-tenth of the facts. Arrogant.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

They need to be making up stuff.

SPEAKER_09 47:35

Oh, they make this is literally what they do.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

Oh, you know what? I think that's uh no, E40's where it's not in there. I think he got his own dictionary.

SPEAKER_09 47:44

Bro. Do you know you know Mo Yancey?

SPEAKER_00 47:48

Mo.

SPEAKER_09 47:48

Moe Antie?

SPEAKER_00 47:50

She's a comedian from Detroit. Oh, I was gonna say I know Derek Yancey.

SPEAKER_09 47:56

I don't know. Probably with a with a last name like that. It's not like Smith, you know. But okay, so we had a we had a clip of Mo go viral, and so I get notifications for her like every day for like six months. But I gotta show you that. I just gotta show you Mo to like I feel like you've probably seen her before.

SPEAKER_03 48:18

Yeah. You guys were in a promo video together once that um Toy put together. There was like a something.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

Oh, um was we doing that um what was that thing she said everybody was doing it, so she wanted all the comedians to come together.

SPEAKER_03 48:36

Yeah, it was like a bunch of women, like women comedians.

SPEAKER_09 48:39

That's that's Mo.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

Oh, I don't remember her.

SPEAKER_09 48:42

So someone com someone commented on this video and was like, E20 is crazy. I'm like, bro, you cannot say I was like, you you can't say that.

SPEAKER_06 48:55

That is so fucking rude. Oh my goodness! I'm like, you can't say that. That's not okay. I was a nice person. And you probably didn't protect you. It was funny. You son of a bitch. I'm glad I want to hear you.

SPEAKER_00 49:14

Get out my cheese.

SPEAKER_06 49:17

Oh, that shit got me.

SPEAKER_00 49:19

Oh boy, but comedians, I think they got a good sense of humor. Oh, for me, I thought you got me laughing. Like, that was funny.

SPEAKER_06 49:26

Dying if she heard that.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

That that was funny though.

SPEAKER_09 49:31

Like, you can't say that. I was going through there today. I was like, because that video's got, I mean, I think on uh I think just on Instagram that video's got like, I don't know, like 300,000 views or something.

SPEAKER_03 49:45

I don't ask what was I She's talking about having a gay roommate and how she used to watch them watch him fuck other men and circle jerks, and she yeah, she's a lesbian, and then she's like talking about how she would just sit on his dresser and watch.

SPEAKER_09 49:59

And my mind is blown because I'm like, she's like, yeah, just like sit on his dresser. She he'd go on grind or whatever and f and she'd be like, who are we fucking today? You know? And then he would just like invite a guy over and bang him, and she'd just sit on his dresser and watch. And I was like, What are you doing up there? Like folding his shirts?

SPEAKER_00 50:14

Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_09 50:16

Like, no, I'm just sitting Indian style.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

Like a real live porto.

SPEAKER_09 50:20

Yeah. Literally, yeah. That's what people were saying. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

I'm like in front of her.

SPEAKER_09 50:24

You're sitting crisscross applesauce on someone's.

SPEAKER_00 50:26

I saw crisscross applesauce on a dresser. She probably won, she didn't want to join.

SPEAKER_09 50:32

I was like, you're you're gay. Like, what are you doing up there just thinking about look at all this dick I don't want? Like, what the fuck are you like, why are you even watching this? You know?

SPEAKER_00 50:40

She probably wanted to throw her strap on and get behind the other.

SPEAKER_09 50:44

I didn't think about that.

SPEAKER_00 50:45

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, because why else was she?

SPEAKER_09 50:48

And here I am thinking I'm a good interviewer. Dude, I didn't think about. I my favorite thing that's happening now is that all of a sudden all the gay dudes that are watching this video are starting to hit on me. So now I'm responding to him. I'm like, yeah, he is. Link in the description. I'm trying to get motherfuckers to watch a podcast. I showed her, I showed her, we were sitting on the couch, I got a notification for that video. And I go, fucking whatever, big boy 1987. I got options. You better straighten up. I'm about to throw fucking big boy 1987 the sauce.

SPEAKER_00 51:23

Not 1987 though. That's funny too.

SPEAKER_06 51:30

Dude.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

Oh boy, ain't that something? Like everywhere you go or look around, it really is some comedy there.

SPEAKER_06 51:35

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 51:36

Everybody just so damn uptight, and it's like loosen up and live a little.

SPEAKER_09 51:40

Yeah. Oh my god, yeah. Dude, I that is one of my favorite things is to take the seriousness out of my job because people are so serious in my life. Ain't they? So serious. I'm like, this is your whole life, huh? Like, this is your whole identity is that you're a pipe vetter. I'm like, I don't give a fuck about this. I'm like, it pays my bills. That's cool. I'll do a good job.

SPEAKER_03 52:05

Okay. That's all that matters. Did you already play the game of guessing what she does?

SPEAKER_09 52:08

Oh, she she fucked up and told me. She didn't know. She didn't know this was a game that I did.

SPEAKER_03 52:12

Oh shit. What did I say?

SPEAKER_09 52:15

That you drive the truck. Oh. And you gotta be careful on the roads. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 52:19

I don't want to blow her up on the on air, but I do this game where I'm like, okay, so like we're all small artists, so we have real jobs too. So I always guess people's jobs. I would not have guessed that. I would have been like I okay, so I n I you told me what you do, but I would have been like, okay, you're on the west side. You grew up in the city. Yeah. I would have been like, you work at a factory of some sort. That's what I would have thought.

SPEAKER_00 52:46

And that's where I didn't want to work. And you know, I was thinking of that the other day when I was in my truck and I was riding past four. I'm like, damn, why I ain't never go to the plant. But I did have this other little plant job, and I that's not my life. And I don't like being in the inside. With the driving, I'm out, I don't really feel like I'm at work. I get the scene at routes, you know. Um, and what else I was gonna say about that driving? I started at a young age like you did with the drums, and I was gonna piggyback and say, what I noticed whatever you start at a young age, you you perfect it. You know what I'm saying? Because I feel like I'm the best damn driver Kroger had. I mean, really, I do. I be hitting them corners, I'll be whipping the shit out of that Kroger truck.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

That's why my bread comes smashed.

SPEAKER_00 53:37

No, they do that at the factory. They just dropping this shit. Boom! I'll be like, dang, I gotta take this off the people bill. Now they load in the bags. You ain't seen nothing yet. Bag baby. Then you got 10 uh six, two liters and then the bread is in there. I'm like, now why the hell would they six two liters in the bread right in the middle? Like, who the hell is in charge of operating the machinery here? I'll be like, I'm sorry, let me just take the bread off. This one older couple is like, that's okay. You know, they don't want you to take nothing off. They don't feel like they gonna taste something. She's like, it's bounce back. I'm like, okay, you think so? She was like this.

SPEAKER_01 54:23

Like, all right.

SPEAKER_09 54:24

It's down to one slice. The whole loaf is the whole loaf. It's the densest slice of bread.

SPEAKER_00 54:32

Okay, that's okay. I'm like, okay, if you insist. Right.

SPEAKER_09 54:35

You know what keeps happening to us? Like, I I we don't order pizza all the time, but every fucking time we do, we'll order a pizza and we'll get a two-liter, and they never bring the two-liter. And then they go, Oh, I'll be right back. And I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 54:47

And they never come back. Well, they take too long, and then I've eight. Yeah, we don't eat it because we gotta eat the pizza while it's hot. Right.

SPEAKER_08 54:53

You're goddamn right, Pikachu. Okay, I love all my food hot.

SPEAKER_00 54:57

I don't like it. That's how he is too. Every time we cook, he has to put it in the microwave. Literally. We gotta have it hot.

SPEAKER_09 55:02

Just getting the kids to sit down and settle in for dinner. I had to microwave my food that we just cooked because it wasn't hot enough for me.

SPEAKER_00 55:08

Yeah, I like my stuff hot as hell. Like grease. I mean, fish, I want it literally as soon as you pull it out the grease, I want to be put it on my phone.

SPEAKER_09 55:15

I want to be doing this when I'm eating it. Yeah. I'm I'm a I eat so many meals cold because of I work construction. So, like, if I'm at home, I'm not eating a goddamn thing cold unless it's supposed to be. I want it to hurt. I want it to I want it to hurt. I swear to God, if I was cooking for myself, I would eat out of the pan.

SPEAKER_00 55:35

Look, I love mine. It's hot. That's what I always tell them. I'll be like, uh, could you drop and make myself fresh, please? Yeah. It's gonna be 10 minutes. They be saying that, so you'd be like, never mind. I'll be like, okay, I'll wait. I got 10 minutes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 55:46

Yeah. So not with chicken, but like with burgers. They used to be like, no pickles. That was my move to get a fresh one.

SPEAKER_00 55:54

And you know what? My mama discovered that. She was like, she's like, you gotta say no pickles.

SPEAKER_03 56:00

I was like, dang, that's how you And then with the fries, you gotta say no salt. And then ask her. I don't think it's fresh, though.

SPEAKER_00 56:07

I'd be like, look, I need some fresh fries. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who can eat McDonald's fries cold? No.

SPEAKER_09 56:13

That wouldn't make no sense. They go from delicious to disgusting. Absolutely. In like five degrees.

SPEAKER_00 56:18

Yeah, it's like you chewing on straw.

SPEAKER_09 56:21

Yeah. It's like it's it just turns into this like mush. And you're like, it has no flavor.

SPEAKER_00 56:26

Did you see how uh they did that little experiment and put the fries up for like a year and you see it, then then nothing happened to the fries? But they still good as hell.

SPEAKER_09 56:35

I made it this good. They are I love how many memories you're sh you're you're short. The way you describe stuff sparks memories in me, and I'm loving it. Because like the way you describe things is like memory. Yesterday, so like when I when I got to that job at the Hudson, I was using one of her like beach coolers for a lunchbox because I fucked my my lunchbox up. And uh, so I have this backpack lunchbox and I and I used it for like the first week I was out there, and I was like, I should stop using this because I'm gonna fuck it up. And so I swe I cleaned out my actual lunch. No, I got a lunchbox as a present. I got a lunchbox for my mom.

SPEAKER_00 57:17

Oh, that was nice. Yeah, shout out mom.

SPEAKER_09 57:19

And uh so I started using that lunchbox that my mom got me. The last day that I used her cooler, I didn't clean it out. And I didn't know, and it's been like six months. And yesterday I was looking for a cooler, the the cooler that's in here. I was looking for a cooler to take the softball so we could fill it up with booze. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, we got this one. And I open it up, I'm like, oh no.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

A green fur ball in there. Yes. Yeah. It was Mexican food. It was six months ago.

SPEAKER_09 57:50

Yeah, I opened it up, it's blue and white, and the whole thing, it was a it was a fucking styrofoam container. It wasn't even like it was a like a like a right like an actual like Tupperware container. It was a it was a styrofoam to go container. So I'm thinking I went out to eat and I brought I was gonna bring that food home afterward.

SPEAKER_00 58:09

I forgot about it. Damn. I hate wasting food.

SPEAKER_09 58:13

Oh I was like, it's pretty, like it's a cool color.

SPEAKER_00 58:19

Just think if you would have ate that last night.

SPEAKER_09 58:21

Oh my god. I would have gassed her out of the bed for once instead of her gassing me out of the bed.

SPEAKER_00 58:27

You you wouldn't be you.

SPEAKER_09 58:29

That's how we started this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 58:31

You're talking about me gassing out the side.

SPEAKER_09 58:33

Yeah, I had to go sleep on the couch in the basement.

SPEAKER_03 58:36

Why are you telling that?

SPEAKER_09 58:37

She farted so hot, I stumped from the neck down. I thought I had to go take a shower.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

From the neck down.

SPEAKER_09 58:43

That's where the blanket was.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

Oh, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_09 58:45

Yeah, I was laying under the same blanket as her, and she just let out what they let out at fucking Auschwitz. I'm so unwell. Yeah, goddamn right.

SPEAKER_00 58:52

Y'all do that to us all the time.

SPEAKER_09 58:53

False.

SPEAKER_00 58:55

He thinks his farts is. And then y'all really fart when y'all sleep, too. Do I fart when I sleep?

SPEAKER_09 59:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:01

Really? Fart, talk, do other things?

SPEAKER_09 59:05

What other thing?

SPEAKER_03 59:07

I'm not gonna say that all the time.

SPEAKER_09 59:09

I did come too with a titty in my hand. I'm not gonna lie. I did wake up with a titty in my hand this morning, so I knew I was I knew what I was doing this morning. Dude, your fart was so bad that I had to leave the room for most of the night.

SPEAKER_03 59:26

I was there, I know. It was horrible. It was horrific.

SPEAKER_09 59:32

Our master bedroom is in is in the basement. So I built this master bedroom and bathroom, and then we have a bar in our basement, like a real bar. And I had to go sleep on the fucking the couch that we have in our bar because I was like, dude. I was like, Jesus, fu like she farted, and then I went to adjust, and I just got like a little poof. Just a little poof under the blanket.

SPEAKER_06 59:54

I was like, oh my god. So you rather she fart or snore? Oh my god, I'd rather her snore all day.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:02

You ain't been around a real snore.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:03

Yeah, he's never had to sleep next to himself.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:09

I used to have to put earbuds in. I did too. When we first started dating, I had to wear earbuds. Wait. I'm talking about sounds like a bear. It'd be downstairs, you could hear upstairs when you come in the house.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:20

Was I that bad?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:22

Like you could hear me from other rooms if I'm sleeping.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:25

Yeah. Did you go get a sleep apnea test? Yeah. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:29

Oh, yeah. I have the machine and everything. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

unknown 1:00:33

Dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:34

Since he's lost weight too, though, he doesn't help. But the machine is the best. Help him too. Yeah. He doesn't always use it.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:42

Who did we see that he was like talking about CPAT machines? Was that Rob?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:48

Rob Little, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:49

We were sitting in the front row at Rob Little's show. And he brought up CPAT machines. And he's like, anyone wear CPAPs? Yeah. He's like, You wear a CPAP machine? I was like, I wear it when I fuck. I made him fall out so hard. I was like, got him! I derailed the comic on stage.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:07

Such a bitch movement. He probably gonna try to use that. I know, oh, for sure he is. I'm gonna try to slide it in there some type of way. Do you feel like people be selling your jokes? They don't really.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:20

I have one that I told I I told one in Miami, and I'm like, the the one of the comics came up to me and was telling me how much he liked it, and I'm like, motherfucker. I'll know if that I'll know if you tell that one because it's an easy one to tell. It's not like a premise that's like, ooh, maybe it's parallel thinking. And so I'm a little, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:40

Yeah, so that's what I was reading today, was saying, um, I wanted the little chats, how you just really gotta make it personal. You gotta make it your voice. Yeah. Because well, but I done heard people say try to use stuff that they heard me talking about. And I'm like, y'all wasn't even talking about that subject. But I'm like, you know what? The way they said it or use it is not funny because I'm telling something that for real happened to me. Have you ever read the comedy Bible?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:07

And that's what I I noticed. Me too. I was noticing a lot of stuff that I was already doing before I read the book. I'm like, wow, ain't that something? But um, damn, where was I going with that? Um, they were saying in the book how when you tell stories about yourself, that's more, it's better when it's you and personal, because then you, you know, you experience it. So when you talk about your own personal self, that people really be drawn in, even though it's about you, but they can relate to it though. Right. So that's how I feel about a lot of my jokes. I come up with a lot of stuff and it'd be like about me, and then I hear people talk about the same topic and it'd be like, that ain't even funny. And they try to, I guess, use that and just put something together and it don't work.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

I feel like when I when I see comedians, I don't always remember their jokes. But like I remember if they were able to make me laugh. Right. Like I couldn't repeat jokes usually, but I'm like, oh yeah, they were funny. So I don't know. I don't know how people are remembering so many.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:13

I think everybody does that. Cause like when I go to the comedy thing, you'd be like, Oh, go see Mike Epps or something, like, oh, we gotta remember so we can tell the other person, but then you just be like, sh it was funny. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:23

If they can get you to lock in and you're just there laughing, instead of especially as a comedian, right? If they can get me to stop thinking about the craft and actually just get me laughing, they're fucking killing it. You know what I mean? Yeah. The joke, I'm gonna tell you the joke because I'm the joke that I told that I was like, you were a little too hype over that one stupid ass joke. And like the guy came up to me and was like, oh dude, that fucking the joke was that I'm getting married in a few months, you know, me and my fiance have been together for a few years now. The only reason you're 69 after a few years of being together is to clip each other's toenails. It's because you're too fat to reach them. That's the joke.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:04

And it's an easy one to steal.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:06

And it's an easy one to steal because it's like a street joke, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:09

That's funny though.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:10

Yeah, it's a stupid joke. That's funny to me. It makes the couple at one night stands laugh. Forget all about what we're supposed to be doing. Let me get these damn toenails and scratching and tearing up the cheeks.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:29

Dude, uh oh man, foot jokes. Fucking uh Pete, do uh Pete Holmes, do you follow Pete Holmes at all?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:34

Pete Holmes. I'm not familiar with him.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:36

He has a joke. So he's huge, but he uh he has a joke where he's like, he knows he's getting older because he got into bed with his wife and he like brushed her leg with his foot, trying to trying to be trying to be sexy, like trying to get her attention. And she was like, Are you wearing shoes?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:56

I've experienced that before, too. Them feet, ooh, because you know what? All y'all have to do is lotion when you get out of the shower. Y'all men and y'all tough, so y'all don't do that. And then that's how y'all's skin get, oh, that'd be horrible. Like sandpaper.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:10

It's like the Bill Bird joke. It's like the only thing that looks brand new on me is my dick.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:17

What are you doing? Putting baby oil on it? He's got fucking lotion.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:20

He's like the lotion. He's like the dick.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:22

I'm supposed to go shea butter. You use shea butter. No. You like, what is shea butter? He doesn't use any of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:29

I don't use any of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:30

See, that's what I'm saying. Me and y'all don't put no moisture on.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:33

But he actually has surprisingly soft feet.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:36

My feet are very soft. It's really weird washing them good.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:40

See, I don't know if he is, but I don't go through my whole routine if we shower together. Okay? I'm not in my ass scrubbing in front of you. If we shower together, I go through a different routine. Okay. I go through the real routine in front of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:55

Right.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:55

Putting a leg up on the edge, just fucking scrubbing my taint, looking her in the eyes like, is this hot? You want to make out? That's not, we're not doing all that. Oh boy, that's fun. I'm gonna do the bare minimum and then just try to get something going.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:07

Mm-hmm. Okay. Good to know.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:13

Alrighty, do you? Does your hand still listen to the pocket?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:15

Yeah, she sure does every episode.

unknown 1:06:21

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:24

Oh man. Dude, this softball shit was so stupid. Well, you were about to say your ankle. How is it?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:29

I wasn't, but my ankle. I was gonna say my aunt list she'll randomly text me like something from she'd be like we were talking about like the UP or something, and she randomly texted me, it was like, Oh yeah, I went to this place. Like she was talking to me, but she'll like randomly text me on like these little snippets, and I'm like, Are you listening to the podcast right now? She's like, I am. Like, okay, that makes more sense. Okay, be a close to auntie.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:51

Dude, that happens to me all the time. Someone will someone like at work or like somebody that I know will text me about the podcast, about like a subject that was talked about on the podcast, but they won't say, Hey, I was listening to episode blah blah blah, right, and you were talking about this. Here's my thoughts on it. They'll just be like, Oh, dude, Mackkinals crazy, and I'll be like, What the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:15

Right.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:16

Yeah, like I recorded that shit six months ago. It's not in my mind at all.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:19

Oh, they just come out the blue light six months later.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:22

I think it like confuses people because we're we're talking, and then it seems like it's just me talking, you know what I mean? And they're like, it it like goes into their mind in the same place that like a regular conversation would go. So then they don't articulate like, hey, this is why I'm talking to you about it now. Like I had a b I one of my bosses, one of my old foremen used to listen to the podcast. Okay. And he like, he like made a joke about something that we talked about 15 episodes ago, and it only clicked in my mind like days later because I got a notification about a short about that subject. And I was like, that's what he fucking meant? I thought he was being like passive aggressive. I thought he was like trying to fuck with me, but it was like he was referencing a joke from the show, and I had no idea. I was like, what the fuck was that about?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:12

Unless it just hit him though, because you know how sometimes you'll be trying he might have been meant to tell you, but then kept forgetting. Or is it do you notice how people know you do comedy so they everybody want to be funny now? Oh have you noticed that? I can't say everybody wanna be they shut up. You weren't even thinking about comedy, now everybody got a joke.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:31

Now you're now you're the funniest guy on earth. My favorite thing is tell us a joke. And I just go, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:37

And that's what I say. I be like, I don't tell jokes, I tell real life stories. Right.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:41

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

But I do appreciate my aunt's support.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:45

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:46

She's been a day one listener.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:47

Day 90. Day one. Okay. She's telling her girls about it. She's probably telling everybody about it. Spread the word. Okay. Right.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:59

Oh man. It is great. You know what? I I was thinking about this a couple of days ago. That like I'm trying to not have any expectations because I do this just because I like doing it so much. But like, there's some days where I'm like, God, I'm doing so much work, and like if I didn't do this, I would have like four days a week without anything to do. And God, wouldn't that be nice? And like, man, this is not only not only am I not making money on it, it's costing me so much money. You know what I mean? And I'm trying to like, I'm trying to not have that mindset. So I'm trying to like and but once in a blue moon, like the other day, I I was like kind of in a mood about it, and then I was like going through social media, like doing my daily work on social media, and I'm like, holy shit, like every single video that we have has like 2,000 views or more, and some of them are up to like millions of like the video with Mo Yancey over across all platforms, it's like a few million views. And I'm like, God damn, like, all right, I need to stop being a bitch because like I used to get 40 views. 40 views on everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:09

You know, I think we as humans, we be, you know what? Everything is so microwave now that you be thinking you're gonna see results instantaneously, and that's not not real. Because that's great. You said you went from 40 to 2,000, and then hers got some millions. You on your way.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:30

You'll be getting paid soon.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:32

Cause what? I don't don't a lot of them other people be getting paid, and they just only got probably like a couple of thousand views, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:39

Yeah, I mean, one of our friends runs a store and she's got like 5,000 followers or something, but she starts she's getting paid by Facebook now. So, like, I mean, we're like getting there, and that's not the goal, you know. Like, that's not like would I prefer to do this than like weld pipe? Like, for sure, yeah, dude. Like, I I love I do love my job as much as I talk shit about it. I do love my trade. But if I don't have to get up at five in the morning and I get to shoot the shit with like my buddy comedians and and then musicians that I meet, like, yeah, I'd much rather do that, dude. Yeah, you know, but like I just enjoy it because we're talking to so many different people.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:20

I feel like we've met so many people. We have. Right, I bet you have.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:24

I mean, we're on episode like 60, and I don't know why I checked my phone. Like, I'm not listening to this on Spotify with you. I'm high as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:34

Dude, the but Wow, episode 60.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:40

It's something like that. Yeah, I'm not sure about that. But it's something like that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:44

60 episodes.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:45

Yeah, we start so we took like a six-month break because of some drama in the podcast, and we bought a drama in the podcast. Now with not with podcasts. Not with me. Me and my originally it was me and my brother who's on the wall uh over there, me and him doing our fucking hip-hop post.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:04

It's so cringy.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:06

We were making my soft derailment, but my mom bought us jumpsuits for our birthdays are three days apart.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:13

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:14

So she got us jumpsuits, and we were laughing so hard about this. Uh-huh. And she's like, they're nice. You guys are going to the gym and stuff. I was like, Ma. Like, we're not fucking Italian mobsters. So we took we took that photo to fuck with her. It was like 20 years ago. Whoa. No, maybe not 20, 15 or something. But yeah, dude. But okay, so me and my brother started the podcast originally, and we started it because me and him would have all these conversations about like mental health and like music that we're interested in, and like what we're doing, and and these are just like regular phone calls. We're like, I feel like we have interesting conversations. We should we should do a podcast. And we started it after you know like 10 years of flirting with it. We did one episode back in 2016, and then we started it and we did it for like four months, fairly solid schedule of like every week, maybe a couple times a week. And it was going fine, like we had all these interesting conversations, it was okay, but my Chris was not the person that could put himself out there and then and then not worry about it in the future. Like, like like we'd record an episode and then he'd be like, Man, I shouldn't have said it this way, or you kept cutting me off, or I kept cutting you off. I just sound like an asshole, you know what I mean? And he'd he'd be like dissecting every episode and overthinking it, overthinking it like a motherfucker, and then he'd eventually he'd I think he got like paranoid, like I was gonna fuck him over anyway, like I was gonna push him out of the podcast anyway. So he was just like, I'm out, but he didn't have a conversation with me, he just put a statement out on his music profile, and he had like a pretty big following on his music profile before he deleted it and then made it again, then deleted it again, and then made it again. But he had like a few thousand followers on that music profile, and he just like put out a statement like I'm stepping down from good times to know to salad. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? Right without having a conversation with him. The only conversation he ever had with me was that he was worried that I was gonna push him out so that it could be me and Paige doing it. And I was like, that is not what I wanted, right? And because I felt like we we bounced off of each other really well because we think differently about a lot of stuff. So I feel like there was like this built-in tension that was good for conversations, right? And but he dipped out, he was like, I can't do it I'm done. I'm I'm stepping down from Good Times Evil Salad, and it made me sound like I was problematic. I'm I was doing all of the work, and he was only sitting down and recording the episodes with me, and I had to cut a lot of the shit that he said out, so fuck him. I'm like, I'm still I mean, this is like a like going on a year ago now. I'm still bitter about the way the whole thing shook out, but he uh but he's like, I'm done, and I and we were buying a house, and we're like I was like, dude, just fuck the podcast for now. So we took like a six-month break from doing the show, and then we went to a store and there was a bunch of available offices near the st like in the building where the store was at. I was like, dude, let's fucking rent one of these and do the podcast again.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:13

We had also talked about like the idea of having guests on when we were having the podcast in our house. Yeah, but we were like, we can't have strangers coming into our house.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:24

Right, then we know where our kids are and yeah, absolutely, yeah. And and to be honest, like we've met so many people in the last few months. There's only like one group that I had on that I was like, I don't want them to know where the fuck I don't want them to know anything about me. So that's everyone else has been great. So we've been really fortunate, is what I'm saying. Right. You know, we can we've only had like one set of weirdos that like I was like, I don't know if I want to fucking I don't know if I want to be around them fellas again.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:52

You gotta pay attention to the signs instead of just looking over, like, oh no, then they ass be crazy as hell. Yeah But it'd be funny when you work with family on certain things you I don't know, it'd just be well we know all of the buttons, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_09 1:16:10

Like we grew up together, so we know all the buttons to put it. Yeah, that's true. And like we get like me and him get toxic with each other. Ah and then it's like I mean, like I I remember look when we were near the end, well I didn't know it at the time, but when we were near the end of the like the era of Good Times Noodle Salad, where it was me and Chris, I would call her on the way home and I'd be like, this motherfucker, like I got this and I would just be like, I in such a bad mood every time we left. I every time I left.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:38

Oh, well, so that was good at y'all party way. It was good, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:41

Because it was like so like originally, so I have three kids, fiance, I work like 60 hours a week, you know, so like originally the the studio was in my house, and because he works nights, he was like, dude, I don't know if I could fucking get up in the morning, drive all the way to your house, which was like 45 minutes away. I don't know if I could drive all the way to your house, record, and then rush all the way to work at 3 p.m. on the days that you don't work and we can record, which I think was Saturday mornings at the time. And I was like, you know what, I want to do the show. Okay, all right, we'll do it at your house. I mean, like, we gotta we gotta kind of put everyone out of my house anyway when we do record so that they're not fucking shaking the house or TVs are playing in the background or whatever. So I was like, all right, let's do it at your house in your spare bedroom. So we we did it in his apartment condo, whatever the fuck to call it. And so that was like the beginning of me feeling a little resentment. I'm like, my fucker. Like I have so much going on. I gotta drive all the way to fuck to your house, and you're a single guy who lives in bum fuck Michigan. So I gotta drive all the way across the earth to get to your place. So I was like feeling resentment about that. I was like, all right, let me let this go a little bit. But then I would get so this is where I would start I was starting to get this. I think this might be the spearhead of Chris leaving, is like I was starting to confront him about how little he was doing for the podcast. Because I'd be like, all right, look, I agreed to do the editing because I have a vision of what I want it to look like and how I want it to sound. I'll do the editing, but you gotta step in and do something else. Do some social media, reach out to some people, do some like I need you to do something because I can't do everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:23

And he just teamwork.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:25

He posted like one thing and it was super cringy. And I was like, What the fuck are you doing? Like he was like trying to be cringy to like be a dick.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:33

So was it your idea actually? Because you know, some people they feel like they helping you, you know what I'm saying? Especially since he thought you was gonna bring Paige in. He probably was like, Oh, this your idea. This is not really something that I want to put my blood, sweat, and tears into. Right. Well, like I participate for the benefits, but you know what I'm saying? I really don't want to do it. You because you had the vision.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:57

So see, he was like very he was all about it when it first started. He was like, We have all these con we're gonna have all these interesting conversations, we'll get guests, we're gonna get real. We'll build our following by doing this. Like he'll and we'd had these conversations about like, well, you can build a following for your music by doing this, and I can build a following for whatever. You know, and yeah, so it was like, okay, we're like like you're trying to you're trying to do this music, but no one knows who the fuck you are. So if people get to know who you are, they're gonna follow your music because they know you now, you know what I mean? And yeah, so I felt like it was a r reciprocal art to do, right? You know, and I I felt like he was all in, and then it started to get weird, and then he would like say shit that I'm like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? Like you can't go on rants like this where like it takes a 45 minutes for you to wrap up your point. Like, there's so much in here that looks wrong and toxic, and like you you know what I mean? And like, so there was just like and then at the time when I was editing, it was taking like 10 hours to do one episode of editing, and it's so like I'm driving to his house and I'm doing the recording, I'm setting up all the cameras, I'm setting up all the lights, and and then I'm taking everything back down, then I'm driving back to my house, then I'm doing all of the editing and all the social media and all the promotion and all the artwork and the and I'm just like, what the fuck, man? You're doing nothing. Like, do something, you're not even awake when I get there.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:21

Damn.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:22

You know, like I'd get there and I'd be knocking on the door, like, what the fuck? We said 11. Oh, sorry, I stayed up really late. I was working on a song. Okay, you know you have an obligation, do it sit the other six days this week. What the fuck, you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:35

People be all in at the beginning, but then when they get real, that's what I was saying. He probably felt like it was more beneficial for you. At the beginning, it's all good, and then once you gotta start putting that work in, then folks get shifty.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:49

Right. And uh, and what's funny is like I I look at where we're at now and I'm like, God, in his mind, because he thinks the way he thinks, he probably thinks he was right, although I didn't want it to go this way. Like, because we're doing a guest-based podcast, and Paige is now doing the the show with me. Now he probably thinks I fucking knew it. But it's not at all what I wanted.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:11

There was no no talks of me.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:13

Literally, no, not a single conversation about Paige News.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:16

And that's why they say you gotta watch your thoughts. He kept thinking it, so it ended up playing out that way because that's what he already had. His mind set onstead of redirecting. We habitual creatures, so you if you keep reliving something over and over, your subconscious will do it, and you won't even know that you're doing it. So basically, he brought it to his reality because he kept thinking it. Right. You you you are what you think you are, so right, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:41

And he and he the the what I enjoyed it because uh I enjoyed doing the show with him because you know, having these conversations, these nuanced conversations with my brother, it made us feel closer. Even though like we sometimes we would leave and be fucking pissed by the end of the conversation because we're like debating. Right, you know, and but it was I felt like it was mostly healthy until the last like month.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:09

So it was the conversations like that before the podcast, because you said y'all used to always also that was tense before the podcast.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:16

Yeah, yeah, but like in a but a good but in a good way, you know what I mean? Like we'd be like, okay, let's talk about throw out whatever random politics or mental health or your perspective on our parents or whatever the fuck thing we're talking about. And we would have these debates where it even though we might not leave agreeing, it's like, okay, well, at least I understand why you think the way you think about that situation. You know what I mean? Like it felt like productive conversation, right? You know, but it I don't know, it just like it got weird and it it got really tense. And like I said, I I would leave the last like month when we were doing it at his house. Every time I left, I would be fucking furious. I'd call him or I'd call Paige on the on the drive home and I'd be like, God, it's just this motherfucker. Like, I don't understand what the fuck he's thinking.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:06

Like his energy, he put it out there, and that's what and if it's reluctant, then that means you're not supposed to do it. I just was telling my mom this today. I thought only black people did this. We I don't know why people can't agree to disagree. And it's like they mad at you because I could still see your point and still have my own opinion. But it's like people get mad because you don't see it that way. And I'm like, I thought it was just black people.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:31

No, it's everyone. It's everyone.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:33

It's like, okay, that's your opinion, and I still have mine.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:36

So they mad because you don't because they didn't get to convince you to treat you. You're gonna be like me or you're wrong.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:42

Yeah, it's like I can think for myself and we can still be okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:46

If that's how you feel, that's how you feel, and this is how I feel. But that's something what people know when they get angry. Yeah, I guess they think you don't see that viewpoint, but I don't know, but that's just so crazy. I just literally was telling her this today, like we can agree to disagree. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:01

Well, so that that's the thing, is like people so many people think that their opinion on on one thing is their entire identity.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:08

Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_09 1:24:09

It's like, oh, this is who I how I feel about Trump is who I am as a person. It's like it's not though. It's like your idea about one fucking thing. Do you like uh Daniel Caesar? All right, dope, me too. High five, Trump's a douchebag. You might love him. I don't like him. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:24

Right, but I'm not gonna be mad at you because that's your own preference or whatever.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:28

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:28

But people, that's so crazy how people be mad and you'd be like, dang, that you want him to fight.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:33

Yeah, like I used to be I when I was when I was like in my early 20s, I was like, I was falling right into the social media thing. Like I was a lifelong like liberal Democrat. And I was like, fucking religion is a yeah, you know, like typing all these rants and like just being weird, you know, like so sure about my opinions. I'm all fucking Bernie Sanders and this and that, and and now I'm like, okay, like when I look but when I see those memories, now I'm like, I don't give a I didn't give a fuck about it like that back then, right? But I was like feeding into the echo chamber that's like good job, yes, queen, or whatever the fuck, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:16

Oh, I didn't even drink that much. Oh but I tell them y'all got all these lakes out here, I gotta cruise.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:27

She hates, she hates the roads out here because every road goes around a lake.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:31

Oh my god. I didn't want to live here because of it. But I like to look at it, it's nice to look at, but it takes so long to get everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:38

Oh my goodness, that's why I told them I was late today. I'm like, I left a whole hour in that little one street that I came down when I seen all them cars. I'm like, oh my goodness. They probably think of like, we knew she was gonna be late. She black. I did not know I was black.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:56

You know what's weird? No, and I saw the message and I was like, okay, cool, because then I'm gonna be late too.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:02

And then when he was like, it was cool, I'm like, whoo, I just relaxed in like.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:07

Do you know how hard it is to get a comic to fucking show up?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:11

I was like, Let me my license is straight. I'm like, so let me make sure I'm doing the speed limit.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:21

Oh yeah. No, I can't. This is not. If I was gonna be like, you didn't show up, this is not like I should not be interviewing fucking comics and musicians. Yeah, no, you ain't kidding. It's hard as fuck to get comics to show up. I had dude, we had one week where we had like four cancellations. I was like, come on. What? And yeah, just like the day of like an hour before, like, dude, I'm so inconsiderate.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:46

I'm like, unless it was emergency or something. Right? So I think I noticed when y'all just started back, because I think that's when I messaged you and said that I will be on. Like a few months ago, y'all posted something that was saying y'all was about to start back up.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:58

We literally saw you had a mic. I was like, dude, she I was texting her during the show. I was like, dude, she's funny as fuck. We gotta have her on. And she's like, she messaged us. I was like, no, she didn't. And I that's when I text you back. I was like, how the fuck did we miss this? Because you were like, I'm a I'm a you know, you can't.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:12

Yeah, you posted and was like, who wanna we start another? I'm like, me. Yeah. Because they say uh completely missed it. Out of sight, out of mind. So I'm normally, I guess, I don't know, but I just was like, I gotta really just start getting out here and networking and meeting people and moving around. I guess I was kind of like in a little shell, and I'm getting out of my comfort zone. Yeah. So I was so happy to see that. And then when he was like, Oh, we have I'm like, yeah, I was telling everybody like I'm gonna be on the podcast. Comedians, yes. I'm going places.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:45

Do we have we I started doing all the messaging on Facebook, so like I was trying to book you. I was like, she was funny when we saw her, so we needed a new wife. Um I stands. I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:57

Oh, that was not too long ago, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:27:59

Yeah, oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:00

And I didn't think I did that good that night. You made me laugh. I remember that. That's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:07

It takes a lot. Okay. Oh my god. At comedy shows, yes.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:11

She's like, she's like a snap. She's like, I'm hard to make laugh. I'm like, oh, that's fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:18

And it seemed like people be doing that on purpose. Like.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:20

Oh yeah. Especially up in the front row.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:22

Okay, like.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:23

This motherfucker's always in the front row, like, don't that be?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:26

I'll be like, damn, I need to tickle your ass.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:29

And then they're always like, yo, you were really funny. It's like, could you have fucking laughed?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:33

I know. Like, well, I couldn't tell. A guy did that before and he was meme and was staring. I was like, dang. And then I saw him somewhere, he was like, Oh yeah, I want you to come do my show. You was. I told my mom, I was like, he said I was funny and he stared at me with such a grim face. And sometimes if they the men have women, it's like they don't be one to laugh. Cause if the lady don't want them to laugh or something, so I was like, dang, I don't know if he was with his girl or whatever, but when I say his whole face was just so tight, the whole show, and then I run into him at France, and he was like, Oh yeah, I want you to come do some comedy. You was really funny.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:10

I'm like, was I I had a I had a guy, I was I did a mic one time and I was talking to an audience member after the show, and he goes, I was like, What you said you like, why do you could you didn't like it? And he's like, I did, I did. I was like, Well, why the fuck weren't you laughing? You were all stiff and shit. And he's like, Oh, I'm not trying to look goofy. I'm like, trying to be goofy, where the fuck are you?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:33

And that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:34

If you're trying to look bluff, like this isn't the place to do it. Right, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:37

Because I'm like, if you know you're coming from comedy, I'm thinking people will be like relaxed and ready to laugh. Because that's where I am. I'm like, okay, let me get the drinks. I'm ready to laugh. And I'm like, do they be knowing where the hell they on the way to?

SPEAKER_08 1:29:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:50

Like you, yo.

SPEAKER_08 1:29:52

Oh, bro, I'm not trying to look goofy.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:54

Yeah, your demeanor, it just be so people just be so funny and they different, and you just never know what's going on through their head. But I'll be like, like I feel like New Way to people know it's comedy. You come in here, and then you go to other places, and it'd be uh certain other bars that's really, I guess not comedy friendly, or the audience or whatever, and they just be in there so tight. Oh, dude. I'll be like, oh, let me go somewhere where I know the people is looking or wanting to do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:18

That's right, one night stands is nice to go to because it is, and that was my first time.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:22

I t I talk about one night stands, and Keisha's and Mark Ridley's are like the treats. They're like, oh, it's like cake. I love this place, you know. And then you go and do like fucking Harve's lounge. Sidecar.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:34

Sidecar.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:35

Oh, I like sidecars.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:36

Oh, you did. I we went there once and I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:39

Really, what happened? I went once too. It would end up being a good crowd that night that I end up going. I think it's a good thing. I don't want to blame the crowd.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:46

It's just that I don't want to blame the crowd. Because that's like I feel like it's a cop out. But like, just the way it's set up, where it's like mostly comics, and there's a back door, and there's a bar in the very back. So like everyone's like getting drinks or going back outside to smoke weed. So like, even though you're you're doing your set in front of a bunch of people that have already seen you do your set, but then they also don't give a shit because they're it's all comics, so they're reading their own shit. They're getting drinks, they're smoking weed, and then there's like there might be like five people that are not comics in the crowd.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:19

That makes a big difference, though. I was just telling my mom that too, though. I was telling her at a lot of these places, uh, it'd be a lot of comedians. So you'd be like, damn. I'm like, but the comedians be laughing, so but I'm like, I feel like we gotta go there again. I think it was just probably just that night. Not just that night. Yeah, because when I went, it was uh they was doing some type of like a bingo or something like that. So it was a nice. Before they had like trivia, yeah, before yeah, it was something like that. And so he was like, I'm gonna try to get these people to stay. So I want to say, I think like half of them did end up staying.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:54

Oh, right on.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:54

Because that is the thing now. It's like you go to the open mics, and then if you got some folks that's not so funny, the crowd be gone, and you be like, damn, it's just the comedians left. I hate that.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:05

Yes, and like like even though it's a big-ish crowd, like we all kind of know each other. Like there's like from from this side all the way to like Ann Arbor, all the way down to Detroit, it's like, all right, there's like they all know of each other. We know we know of all of each other. Like you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:22

Have an ideal or a scene that came across. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:26

Yeah. If I ain't had, I remember.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:30

I just randomly remember that Nicole uh Nicole, I don't know how to say her last name. It's like Mel Nyuk. I don't know. Do she wear glasses? Yeah. She runs a mic in an armor. Oh, is it Lansing?

SPEAKER_00 1:32:45

Oh, Max. Lansing. I went to Lansing. No, no, I didn't go to Lansing. Where did I go? Oh, I went to Ipsy. I think Kat was there the other day. I think it's called Ipsy. Uh shit. I'm gonna have to look it up and send it to y'all. So I outtown or something like that.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:04

Okay. Yeah, I'm not sure about that one. Oh, okay. But so I signed up, so she runs a mic at Max Bar. And I signed up to like be considered, and I didn't but I didn't know that I had booked it. So she was like, here's the lineup for tonight. Like like two months later, she's an hour before it started. Yeah, it was like it was like the show started at 10. She she messaged like a group chat at like nine o'clock and was like, here's the lineup for tonight. I was like, what the fuck? If I left right now, I'd barely get there on time. I was like, Yeah, I was like, hey, I I'm sorry, dude, but I'm not gonna make it. She's like, You signed up for tonight. I was like, uh, yeah, but you didn't tell me that. And she was like, Oh, I probably didn't tell you that you are on the showcase. All right, yeah, no big deal, dude. And I was like, Alright. And so, like, so then we started texting, and and I was like, Oh, you know, like I'll have you have you on the podcast. Like, she's got a podcast, I got a podcast, we should cross promote. Yeah, and uh, so I was like, Yeah, come on the podcast. So I schedule her, and then she was like, Hey, I got booked for a show. I I hate to cancel. I'm like, hey, no, no, no, that's what we do. You got booked, fucking do the show. No big deal. Yeah, no big deal, do the show for sure. Do the show. And I was like, all right, let's reschedule. So we rescheduled, and then that day she was like, I'm such a piece. She texted me, I'm such a piece of shit. I'm so sorry, I'm out of town. I fucking, I completely forgot. And I was like, I missed one mic.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:25

Oh no, you think I got to look a lot. Oh, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:28

One mic, and you're fucking punishing me for it. She's like, I'm not, I swear to god, I'm like, you fuck, I know what the fuck you're doing. You fucking, I I missed one showcase that you that you lined up.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:39

And you know, if you feel something, that's normally what it is.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:42

You motherfucker. No, I think she I think it was honest mistakes, but I was fucking I was fucking with her heart about it. I'm like, you motherfucker! I missed one open mic, like you lined up.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:52

You wanna keep paying.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:53

Not you wanna just keep wasting spots for the pandemic. Fucking work. She's like, and then she like messages me and she's like, no, I swear to god, I'm so good on a podcast. We're gonna do a podcast together together, it's gonna fucking rip. I'm like, oh, it's gonna rip? How is it gonna rip if we never do it? If you don't show up, are you gonna keep not showing up and the episode's gonna be good? How's that gonna happen? Hey, how come if you're not invited, how's that one gonna rip? You fucking jerk.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:23

Live a little thanks.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:25

Now we got this like running joke where I'm like, oh, did you fucking not show up to your show? Right. Do you let them now fucking 15 minutes away?

SPEAKER_00 1:35:32

I think I did something at Ann Arbor once. Uh damn, where was it?

SPEAKER_09 1:35:36

I have not met her in person. I think me and her are gonna be like best friends this series.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:39

She's so funny. Oh, what? The place I is it called Hydem's Hideamus? Is it the place at Ann Arbor? I think it's I only know about the showcase.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:48

Oh, yeah. Ann Arbor Showcase. Uh let me check. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:51

I don't think we've gone. We haven't been to Ann Arbor yet.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:53

I have not done any at Ann Arbor. I was supposed to do one. Last minute is fucked.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:59

It was nice. That's college time. And I was like, oh, I don't got no damn college material.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:05

Well, yeah, I feel like they humping. Yeah. Yeah, but I feel like you have to be like kind of clean.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:12

Like, yeah, yeah. Like it's a couple of things. I don't liberally they they came up to me afterwards. Like, it was funny. I like that. Because I guess because my stuff do be real life. Like, you know what I'm saying? People be trying to be all. So do you do act outs?

SPEAKER_04 1:36:28

Uh not really.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:30

No. I was talking to Toy about this, and she's like, Oh, I love doing an act out. I love doing voices, and she's really good at voices. And I was like, I want to start doing act outs because like in the book in that comedy bible.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:41

Like an imp?

SPEAKER_09 1:36:42

Yeah, well, like doing a voice or like acting out the scene instead of being like, then my mom told me this and this is how I responded. I would love to try that. Instead of doing like, this is what she said, and this is how I responded, instead, you're like, actually act out the scene.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:55

Oh, that seemed fun.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:56

And in the comedy Bible, they talk about that. They're like, dude, it's like way easier to get a laugh if the audience is experiencing the bit instead of- And that you acting it out.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:07

Exactly. Yeah. I can see that being fun.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:09

Yeah. So I want to I wanna like start.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:11

Oh, let me know we started.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:12

But then I was like talking about this with Toy, and then Toy started doing voices on the podcast. I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't do it because you're really good at voices.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:18

I used to do that, and everybody used to. I used to crank all. Did y'all used to do that when y'all was young? Oh, for sure. I used to do the granny voice, and I used to be like, oh my goodness, everybody sound like a real grandma. And I used to have Barney Mack down there. And I'm like, damn, why I didn't start doing comedy then.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:33

Dude, my but did you have a go-to? I'm gonna tell you my go-to bit with prank calls. I want to know if you had a go-to bit. Like if you're like bored, like, all right, I'm gonna call this place and do this. Mine was I would always call karate places and order Chinese food.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:49

That's funny. You know, it was real funny. I used to want to do after Bruce Lee, you know, everybody wanted to do karate, right? So I'm like, ooh, I want to do karate, I want to do karate. So my mom ended up putting me in it. But by this time, I'm in high school, right? So she signed me up. I'm probably like in the ninth grade. And I'm going in there. It was a school on Seven Miles Southfield. And they used to leave the door open. But now, like I said, I'm not young. So you know, in young, you gotta you gotta get them when they're young because you're more impressionable, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:38:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:22

I'm a teenager. I'm in there, they we gotta buy when we come in, you gotta buy when you leave out. So the class ended up messing up and they had to do push-ups on their knuckles, right? The whole class is down doing push-ups, and I'm standing up like this. And he was like, Why aren't you doing push-ups? I said, because my mama paid for me to learn karate. I'm not doing no- I'm like 13 to 14, and I was like, damn, April, that was discipline. I would have done in here be funny. They end up, they didn't want to break the contract, but they ended up breaking. They like, get her little hard-headed ass out of me.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:57

Total karate.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:58

I gotta get it out. They was like, oh, no problem. Total contract up like, yeah, get her ass out of it. But she tainted all the other kids. I mean, everybody literally doing push up. I'm like, I ain't doing no damn push up.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:10

Oh, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:12

And then my friend called herself being funny. My boyfriend was over and she gonna say, my mama called. She like, get ready, Mikey, about to come take you. And so I was telling them, like, okay, y'all, I gotta go. I'm about to go do something. And she gonna go, Oh, what you about to do? Go to karate. I was like, bitch.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:32

No. What's wrong with it? You thought it was cringe?

SPEAKER_00 1:39:35

13 or 14 by then.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:36

So you like insecure anyway.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:38

I was like, I'm in a I'm a teenager, so I ain't think it was sweet, like when you young and saw Bruce Lee, and you know, I'm like, dude. I'm like, this hating ass ho. I'm saying this in front of him. She knows I didn't want him to know. Do you want to say something? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:55

My son's 13 and he's starting to get that attitude.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:59

Yeah, because you know you off the clock, your hormones get to switching up, and you don't want to be embarrassed with certain stuff, you know.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:06

Dude, he thinks everything is embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:07

Like hey, how are you? That's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:11

My seven and eight-year-old.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:13

I don't think it's maybe because he feel uh, because I used to have have a hard time responding. And then once I got to learn to say, oh, finding yourself, maybe because it's just new. So if he starts working on it now. But yeah, when you're young, you think everything is embarrassing.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:27

Yeah, oh yeah. He my seven and eight year old, so I we have a I have a vegetable garden in my yard. Oh, I love it. Because I'm an old lady.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:34

No, I love gardens. I'm about to do me an ant house.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:37

I also have a porch goose. In case you weren't certain that I was 80 years old.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:42

A porch goose?

SPEAKER_09 1:40:44

Yeah. You dress it up for the holidays.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:46

Like, do she got on a little apron?

SPEAKER_09 1:40:47

You're goddamn right.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:48

She's a hippie right now. She's a hippie right now. Oh, she got a joint. We should get her after.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:54

She's got like a tie-dye shirt on with like brown brown overalls and a stupid little hat.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:59

My mom got him that outfit.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:00

Her name's Jennifer.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:02

I love it. Oh cute.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:04

Yeah, but I'm an 80-year-old lady. But okay, so uh I have the kids set up the uh water the starter cells, which is all like the seedlings that are starting to sprout before they're in the ground. So I'm like, we'll water those.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:16

Wait, the garden is going on now because I thought they said it was too cold.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:19

The last frost was like last week. So some of my stuff. Hopefully, we'll see. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:23

Because they said we're supposed to drop again. They say the next two weeks.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:26

Oh, well, shit. Hopefully they should.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:28

It should just stunt the growth. It should probably let us lettuce and I think we can cover it too if we're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:33

Oh, yeah, I think that is like lettuce and tomatoes and stuff will just are just like moody bitches. Like if they get cold, they won't do anything for two weeks and then they'll be fine. Oh, okay. Once they have depending on like what it is. Like some of it will straight up die if it gets cold. Okay. So, but anyway, uh, so I set up the I I have the kids water the starter cells that are on the shelf outside, and then set up the sprinkler for the all the stuff that's planted in the ground. And they're like, Yeah, can we play in the sprinkler? I'm like, like once they have it set up, and I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I can just get changed or whatever. So they go start playing in the sprinkler. Mind you, both of my boys are grounded until the end of the school year, so they're off TVs.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:09

So the end is oh, well, that's overweight. No, they got a month. June 5th. Oh, he is still getting grounded. Oh, they do it. They messed up. But Okay, we still need some of y'all. We'll talk about this. I love it. That's what I thought.

SPEAKER_09 1:42:25

We'll talk about this, but the so but setting up the sprinkler, the two little ones get changed, they're running through it playing, and my my so my oldest has nothing to do. He can't play video games, he can't text his girlfriend, he can't watch TV. I'm like, go you can go play. He's like, I don't want to. I'm like, you're literally like lingering around them while they're playing. So I can see that you're having fun watching them have fun. Right. But you won't go have fun yourself. Oh no. He's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:54

He might let one of his friends see him running through the sprinklers with siblings. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:59

Having fun. But I feel like if one of his buddies were over, they would just like take it to the next level and just like make it a floral event.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:08

Right. They'd be like, let's play tackle football through the sprinkler or some shit. You know?

SPEAKER_00 1:43:12

Yeah, they will come up with something crazy, wouldn't they?

SPEAKER_09 1:43:16

The boys are both grounded for the rest of the school year for separate incidences.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:22

Shut up. I love it. Y'all old school. I don't think these kids get grounded.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:26

Oh, I tell you, I I I tell you what, I had a real hard time not smacking my oldest right in the fucking mouth. I was having a real hard time. I I I I I have I know my flaws. I know I get loud when I'm mad. He knew that he fucked up because I didn't get loud. I said I said, he got home.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:52

Oh my god, too far. No, you're fine.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:55

I go, he he gets he gets home and I go. I go, did what your mom told me happen happen? And he goes, yeah. I said, get out of my sight. And he's like, I said, I was like, I I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm having a real hard time not smacking you in your fucking mouth. Get out of my sight. And he's like, I know when you series.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:18

Yeah, I know when I didn't play.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:20

I was I have not been that mad at him in my life. He he has the he he ordered the wrong size jersey for his soccer team initially. He got like a youth small, he needs a man small. So that's become an issue because he's like needed a jersey, or he had to wear like a the right color shirt, but wear it inside out so it doesn't have a design on it, so he like matches the team, whatever. So he goes on he goes to the soccer game.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:49

Before okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:50

We had a practice. We had so the other son had a practice, and I'm like, hey, grab all your shit, because your mom's gonna grab you from this soccer game and take you to your game. And he's like, okay, he grabs all the stuff, we all get in the car, we go to the younger one's soccer practice, and while we're there, he goes, I forgot my shin guards. I'm like, Alright, get in the car, let's go get them. So we go back to the house, and he's in and out in like 30 seconds. I'm like, Do you have everything you need? He's like, Yeah. I was like, stop. Be thorough.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:20

Look through your own.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:20

Double check make sure you have everything. I have everything. Make sure. I have everything. He grabbed the he grabbed the wrong jersey. He grabbed this the youth small, which does not fit him. It's skin tight.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:35

You should have made him wear it. It was a belly top.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:39

So I wasn't, I wasn't, I would have. I wasn't taking him to the game. Right. His mom was taking him over. Okay. So she comes and grabs him. I find out they get in an argument over this in front of his girlfriend, who's there. They're getting an argument about it. He's like, Oh, I can't wear this. I'm not, I can't breathe in it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're fighting about it. And she's like, you know what? I'm you were told to get your stuff. You need to be responsible. She's digging into him, and he goes, Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:06

That's when I get the feeling myself off the clock.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:09

I go, oh. Dude, I made him after a few so I find this out through text message. He gets home, his mom walks into the front door at my house, and I go, Did you tell your mom to shut the He's like, like, my ex starts talking right away. I was like, hold on, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I don't Did you tell your mom to shut the fuck up? Yes. Get out of my sight. And he's like, but and I was like, I'm having a real hard time not smacking you in your fucking mouth. Get out of my sight. And he went back.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:43

A black parent still would have slapped him in the mouth. I was having a real hard. I got plenty of dolls. Open hands slapping the mouth. Oh. And he and my mom used to want to talk afterwards. I used to be sitting like, bitch, don't say shit to me.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:56

So I I was I was having a real I I wanted to. I wanted to. But the kid was already being hard on himself. I could see that he was already being hard on himself. So I didn't need to do that. I could see that he already was like. He realized it. He probably realized it the second it less it left his lips. Yeah. You know what I mean? He left it. But oh can't believe I just said that.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:16

Did I just do it?

SPEAKER_09 1:47:17

Right. So after a few hours passed, I called him out into the kitchen and I sent the other two. I was like, you calm down. Yeah. Once I got my emotions out of the way, I sent the other two to their to their rooms and I go, let's have a conversation about what happened. And I was like, I want you to explain to me what without trying to convince me you're innocent, because you're not.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:37

Right.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:38

Tell me the order of how things played out. And he did. He told me, you know, this happened, this happened. I forgot my I forgot to get the right size jersey. I thought that I had it. I was telling mom I needed it or I needed to do something else. I was freaking out because I knew I couldn't breathe in that jersey because it's skin tight on me. And I didn't want to wear it in the game. And my and I was I wanted mom to give me comfort or a solution. He was saying it like a 13-year-old, not like this. He wanted comfort and or a solution to his problem. And his mom was worried about defending herself, saying, This blame is on you, not on me. And that pissed him off.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:16

Telling us the truth, though.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:18

Valid, but you can't see it.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:20

Or she could have just cut the s put some slits on the side.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:24

Right, make it sexy. Cut it apart, tie it back on.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:28

She could have cut the little ass off over the room. Like the little ties all down it.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:34

Like the fucking prep rally shirts. So he so I go, okay. Do you understand like the weight of what you said? Right. And he's like, I just wanted her to stop. And I'm like, that's not the weight of it. Right. And so I explained, like, I went through, I'm like, you don't understand what your mom went through for you to be here. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you're gonna sit here and I'm gonna explain it all. I'm like, your mom's mom died six months before she was pregnant with you. That was her only parent when she was pregnant with you. She had grief from losing her own mom. She had pregnant she had depression during her pregnancy. Her vitamins, like her her body went through hell. She lost hair, she like her stress, her teeth got all fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:19

She was and because they pulled all your nutrients.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:22

I was like, so I'm explaining this all to him. I was like, she she ended up in the like I didn't tell him she ended up in the psych word. Should have. I shouldn't have. Uh but I was like, she no, she lost hair, she her teeth got fucked up, she was severely depressed, she was going through the grief of her own mom, and for 10 months she carried you around. And then after that, she carried you around for another fucking year to make sure that you would survive. And I'm like, and I'm going through all this. I'm like, look, your mom like and he goes, You don't like mom? I go, She's not my fucking mom. Okay. She's my ex. Right. And I tell you what, you don't like her.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:59

You

SPEAKER_09 1:50:00

I go, in 13 years, I can count on one hand how many times I told her to shut the fuck up. Right. In 13 years of being with her, I can count on one hand the times I told her to shut the fuck up. And she was my peer. She was not my fucking. She was not my mom. I was like, could you picture me saying shut the fuck up to grandma? He's like, no. I was like, could you picture me saying shut the fuck up to your mom? He goes, no. I was like, could you picture me saying shut the fuck up to Paige? He goes, no. And I said, could you picture some boyfriend telling your sister to shut the fuck up? He goes, no. And I'm like, all right, I'll go stewing that. And then he didn't talk to me for like a day. He just was in it. And I tell you what, this is gonna be a hard fucking lesson learned, but I don't think this one's gonna I don't think he's gonna forget this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:49

Nope, he's not. But that's what they're missing though. Cause it's you got you got uh kind of wanna say this. Life is rewards, and then you have the bad. So you gotta know how to be able to balance and be able to take it. It's not gonna always be good. And that's what I think these kids don't be understanding. And that's so funny you say that because I was listening to this guy today, and he was saying the kids, once they get a certain age, they be feeling like I guess they get the feeling they stuff and they want to rise up on the parent. And he was like, just think you think about when you get, he said, you 50 and you done raised this kid and did all that same incident. He said, and then they think they could talk to you crazy, and you be like, you know, I done done for you and your you know, your whole life or whatever it took Mike to get you here, the audacity for you to think you could like just think if I would have gone to the clinic on your ass. Right, right.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:46

Right, yeah. I mean, it's so it's there's a couple okay, so I have a couple thoughts right now. Like, it's not the kids' burden to understand the sacrifice until they're going through it themselves.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:58

Absolutely. You know that's what you know. They used to always say that back in the day. You see when you become a parent.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:03

Yeah, you'll see one. You see, and they're right. You will if you become a parent, you do see what your parents had to go through.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:09

I see a lot of stuff that they were saying, and I didn't think they knew what they was talking about.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:12

Oh, I thought my parents were dipshits.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:13

Because don't you be thinking like that was your time, but nothing is new under the sun that might be done a different way. But you be used to be thinking like, y'all ain't no shit back then.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:23

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:24

Yeah, and then you go through it and the 70s, y'all ain't know nothing. They weren't doing this and doing that. Yeah, they just was doing it a different way.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:31

Yeah. I so I was I was reading a uh sociology book, and they said there was an evolutionary biologist that was quoted in the book, if I'm remembering it right, but they were saying that when you hit these ages where you start to become like like you can start having kids, that that's when you're having all these hormones and stuff, that's when the rebellion starts. And it's almost uh their idea was that it was a way to get someone who can produce children to get away from their relatives. Like it's a biological way to get exiled from the family for a while. So like you're you're you know, uh 13, 14, 15, whatever years old in a tribe, and you start having these rebellious ideas. It was like nature's way of preventing incest. So like you get these you get these you get exiled from your incest? Yeah. Because then you you get like exiled from the the from your immediate tribe because you're being a pain in the ass, and then it's like okay, go have kids with someone that's not your kin. And no one I mean you're in a fucking tribe in a village. You don't you're not gonna know that that's not okay, or that it's gonna it could cause problems, but I don't know if that's I don't know if that's true.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:50

It's interesting. It's an interesting thought.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:54

But so anyway, uh having a 13-year-old fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:57

I just don't know, though.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:00

Dude, it's hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:01

I don't ever remember being like horrible to my parents.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:04

Me neither. I wasn't me. I just was telling my mama that again today.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:07

Yeah, I like I remember one time when I was like 10, probably, she made me get out of the pool, and then we were having spaghetti for dinner. It was time for dinner, so she made me get out of the pool. So I was upstairs, like getting ready for dinner, and I was so mad, and she walked by the bottom of the stairs, and I threw my bathing suit down at her, and she had spaghetti in her hand, and it hit the plate of spaghetti and like went flying, but that's like the only time that I remember being like, I don't think girls be bad, because I wasn't bad.

SPEAKER_09 1:54:37

I don't think it's bad. I don't think girls be bad. I don't think it's these giant moments that parents are talking about anyway, though. It's like all the little stuff. It's like hey, you you for you missed a dish. Just that, but like a thousand times, and you're like, motherfucker, can you just can you just comply so that this house works? You know? Like that's what's hard right now, is like it's it's just getting everyone on the same page.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:03

Like I also didn't have like my parents weren't ones that were like, you have all these chores. Like I didn't have to do you didn't do any chores? Like laundry, like your own laundry. Yeah, just your own yeah. But I didn't my mom's still like I didn't make me. Yeah, so I didn't have chores, like we have like our they all have specific chores. We do a chore chart, but and that's good.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:29

Which they need to keep them like focused. Yeah, but you know what? Well, boys, you have to get them sh uh what's the word I want to say? Structure. You gotta get them structure and keep them busy because they minds get the wandering and they'll get in trouble quick. Like girls, we'll play with our dolls, we'll do something. They little minds get the wandering. So I had to keep my son in sports.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:52

The other day, um, his oldest wanted to go to school early because he walks or whatever, and I'm like, he wanted to go like an hour early. I was like, what do you need to go an hour early for? I was like, what are you what are you doing? What are you up to? Because he like he actually left the house and I saw that he left. He didn't say anything, and I was like, so I yell out the door, I'm like, where are you going? He's like, to school. I'm like, why are you leaving so early? He's like, I don't know. I was like, get back here. Wait a little bit. You you're just gonna get in trouble.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:23

You're just gonna get in some sort of trouble. Come back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:29

I guess I'll collar on the window or something. Uh yeah, just something does. She texts me, yeah. I got in trouble for that when I was a kid. I she Paige texted me about this, and I was like, he's probably just going to like play catch before school. And she's like, Yeah, but the first time he left, he didn't bring a football. I was like, I was just trying to think of a reason, but like that seems like it's probably the reason.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:49

Yeah, I mean he could have very well been just wanting to go see his friend. And later he was like, Well, my friends get they let us in at this time and they get there at this time, and I was like, Okay, then why didn't you say that when I said, Why did you leave early?

SPEAKER_09 1:57:00

He is so defensive.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:02

Like, I was just trying, like Did you have something going on? Like, I'm not trying to figure out like I said, that communication, they don't really Because I when I was at school, I just wanted to get there at the very last minute. Like, I didn't want to be there any earlier than I used to. You still do that shit.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:17

I can't stand it.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:18

That's when I got there. Just to work when I have to be there.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:24

Like she gets annoyed with me because anywhere I'm going, I'm like, we need to leave an hour before the thing so that we're a half hour at least early.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:32

But then he also has to stop at six gas stations on the way.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:35

We stopped at six, it's not at one.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:37

What did you do?

SPEAKER_09 1:57:38

So then we still end up being late. We were running, we were running late to take the kid to soccer practice, and I stopped to buy a pack of cigars, and she's like, We are we're late, and I'm like, okay, and we're still gonna be late after this. Like if we're on time, like if we're gonna be on time, I wouldn't. Yeah, I was late as fuck. Dude, speaking of being late, I was late as fuck today.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:02

To work?

SPEAKER_06 1:58:03

As fuck.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:04

Because we had late softball games.

SPEAKER_09 1:58:06

Dude, we had an 8:30, 8, 8:30 start and then 9.45 start.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:10

Oh, y'all, they in softball too?

SPEAKER_09 1:58:13

We were in softball.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:14

Oh, y'all are? Shut up. They only let me play one year. I was so excited and they didn't never let me back, I guess, because I was coming too cute. I was coming, I was matching and shit. And then I was like, dang. And then I wasn't drinking. I think they got mad because I wasn't drinking.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:32

I'm like, I'm doing this for exercise.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:35

I didn't know you was now that I'm older, I I would probably do it now. I'm like, oh, that'd make it fun. But I was all young thinking I'm being cute. I'm like, no, I'm not drinking.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:44

Our team's not good, so we shouldn't be.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:47

Why were y'all playing? Oh, it's all the way out here.

SPEAKER_09 1:58:49

Dude, we fucked. Uh we were we sucked. We sucked.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:52

Uh I was we're like, we gotta have a practice.

SPEAKER_09 1:58:55

Yeah, we're literally gonna have a practice.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:57

I just don't know when my mom used to play when uh I was younger, and I always wanted to play, but I could never find the black kids don't want to play softball. I'm like, y'all so we're like, let's play softball. They're like, why your ass always wanna do something? I'm like, because I don't like the same stuff. I like to do different stuff. Yeah, I don't want to do the same stuff, they just want to do the same stuff. They want to go left. I'll be like, I'm going right. Dude, I had I gotta get outside the box.

SPEAKER_09 1:59:22

I had so I was like the I was like the Renaissance man at high school. Like I was friends with every click. Like ever I was friends with everybody. The Stoners, the Jocks, like I f I kind of fit in everywhere. And I sto I I stopped being friends with a lot of people because a lot of people just want to sit around and do fucking nothing. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, are you gonna come over today? And I'm like, what are we doing? And it's like, well, that's it. We're just gonna chill. Hang out. We're just gonna chill at my house. Right. The fuck? Why would I chill at your house when I got everything of mine at my house? Right. It's like if I'm gonna sit around and do nothing, I'm gonna do it with my shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:59

Of course. I guess around and do nothing with your shit. Yeah. Just want some company.

SPEAKER_09 2:00:04

I had to find friends that were like also psychos, like, oh, we're gonna fucking skateboard and you know, do YouTube and like do music, do this, do that, like a million other things. Yeah, that's what I like. Don't put your dirty ass fucking No! I was just kicking it. At least it's not the yellow ones. She's got white fans on. I had to buy her I had to buy her leather white fans because her clothes mattered in them cloth ones because you have to keep wash.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:30

These ones are dirty now, too.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:31

Her cloth ones are fucking yellow.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:33

Throw them in a can't you throw them in the wash room?

SPEAKER_03 2:00:35

You can throw them in the fucking trash. I should try. I have a pair that I wear. I have like two pairs that I wear to concerts all the time. One has they're both white, and I just because they don't white.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:45

You know what used to be my go-to? All white? K Swiss. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:49

No problem. No. But they might come back because I feel like that style is starting to come back.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:56

Everything you do repeat itself.

SPEAKER_09 2:00:57

Clothes, history, all that. Yeah, it was like the 80s was coming back. Now it's like the early 2000s. Like this whole the the generation that's becoming adults right now, like the late teenagers, early 20s, they're all wearing like the 2000s shit. Like the real small sunglasses. Yep. The fucking low rise pants. Literally, I keep seeing these 20-year-olds wearing like Casio watches that aren't smart watches. They like analog, not analog watches, uh digital watches. Okay. Like with the like the old school, like Fashion repeat itself. It's weird. Like the big ass pants.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:30

And they're thinking they're the first ones doing it. Oh yeah, them wide legs.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:33

Yeah, the fucking janky. I have such a hard time. I want to switch to the wide legs because I'm sure they're comfortable. But I am skinny jeans all the way.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:42

Like they just don't look like them because I feel like they're gonna make my fives look bigger. Skinny jeans or the skinny. No, the wide.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:51

I feel like scrawny bitches are the only ones that are.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:53

I was just about to say that. Yeah, them good for skinny people.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:56

Like, but if you already get can't move all of this to here to one of those.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:01

Because what'd you look like putting them on in the tight?

SPEAKER_03 2:02:04

I put it new tempo. I put some on in Target. I put a pair on in Target, like the biggest leg I could find. Because he said something to me. He was like, Do you think you're gonna switch out of your skinny jeans since they're not in style anymore? And I was like, No, I they look weird.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:18

They're not in style no more. Oh, you're right, because the guys wearing them.

SPEAKER_05 2:02:21

Oh, dude, the side the side part the guys is wearing them.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:24

You're right. Then took them from the ladies, all the damn men wear them.

SPEAKER_09 2:02:28

So the side parts gone, it's all centered up. It's all middle parts, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:31

And I look terrible with the middle part. You do. I'm just kidding. But I put these big pants on. I know I do. I put these big pants on and I sent him a picture. I was like, is this what you're talking about? And he's like, please tell me you did not buy those. It's like I did. Is that what I said? Something along those lines.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:48

Oh, you know what they're giving me? The bell bottom look. Oh yeah. So I guess that well, the bell's probably the bell bottoms fit on top. Yeah, and then they get wide at the bottom. So they just went bell all the way up. Yeah. Exactly. Bell hole pants.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:05

Who was designing these damn clubs? Dude, I don't know. I I think it's just a way to buy more shit. Dude, I yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:12

I Jenkos are on their way back.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:14

Like our like our friend Brooke was is is pretty.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:18

She knows the styles.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:20

Active and like trying to keep up with like fashion, you know. And I she was probably one of the first people I saw wearing like the mom jeans with like the huge legs, but she's skinny, you know. She's probably on the biggest.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:32

So they can look like they thick.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:34

I'm like, so like she puts in the room. I want the thick one, I want the thick one. Who's that by? You because you knew what I want to say. Um that one is uh by uh skill of baby. Oh and 42 Doug.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:51

So y'all gotta listen to that. Hell yeah. I got a song we're gonna. I can see Paige dancing into that too. Like, I want the thick one.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:01

Yeah, yeah, I'll check that out. I'm gonna keep y'all up on the hip hop.

SPEAKER_09 2:04:04

Dude, I okay, so I'm a huge music person. I asked an apprentice kid, I'm like, hey, what's your favorite? What's your favorite artist? I always I ask random people I don't even know at work. Like, because I'm I get stuck in my own shit. So I'm like listening to Dave Matthews, 24-7. My my like big my big artists are like Dave Matthews, Jacob Collier, Stevie Wonder, fucking Daniel Caesar, I've been obsessed with lately. And then I don't know, maybe throw some like 90s metal in there just because that's like nostalgic for me.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:40

So like uh like uh damn, what was their name? Nirvana.

SPEAKER_09 2:04:46

So that's grunge, that's like rock. So metal metal's heavier than that. So I I'd be listening to like Deaf Tones, Tool, Corn, trying to think slipknot, like those bands are like the ones where they make weird sounds with their voices.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:59

Oh, but I'm like, who is the most?

SPEAKER_09 2:05:02

That's alright. But so like but I get stuck in my shit, and I asked this, I asked this kid, like a 20-year-old black kid. I'm like, what's your favorite artist? And I'm hoping he's gonna put me on some like new RB shit. Because I'm like, Daniel Caesar, I've been stuck on. And I'm like, I just can't find anything else that's like this good, you know? Right. Like lucky day kinda, you know, but this motherfucker said big time rush.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:24

Which is like a boy band.

SPEAKER_09 2:05:26

It's a boy band from Nickelodeon. I said, Are you doing a bit? He goes, No. I go, if you got a five-minute car ride, you're going to the gas station and back, and you're like, oh, I gotta put something on, you're putting on big time rush. He goes, Yeah. I go, the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 2:05:40

That's different.

SPEAKER_09 2:05:42

I put this shit on and it was like, oh, oh, oh, we're in love. And I'm like, no, dude.

SPEAKER_00 2:05:47

I'm like, worse.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:49

Yeah, it was like little kidney. Seven Justin Bieber's.

SPEAKER_09 2:05:53

And it's for like it's like for eight-year-old little girls. And this is like a 20-year-old man.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:59

Who what does that say about him?

SPEAKER_09 2:06:02

He's gay.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:03

I was about to say, we're gonna have to watch now. He's something.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:06

Oh, dude. He was trying to backtrack today. This is a couple days ago. He was trying to backtrack today. Uh because he walks by and I had Drake playing. I was like, oh, I'll shut this off. I'll shut this off. I'll put on your fucking big time rush. And he's like, come on, man, that was a bit. I was like, it wasn't a bit. It was not a bit. I tried to call you out on that shit. You're like, no, it's my yeah. Like, if I go to the gas station, I put this on. It's not a bit. And he's like, no, no, no, for real, for real. I'm like, I'm listening to like a lot of Kendrick right now. I'm like, you ain't listening to you. I'm like, shut the fuck up. You know what's doing. You didn't already know.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:40

Now you're like, oh, let me know.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:41

You are not listening to the minute of Kendrick Lamar. Fucking. Stop bullshitting me. That's funny. Oh, dude. It caught me off guard. I was expecting. I was expect honestly when I asked him, I was like, he's gonna tell me like the top five guys right now. Like one of the top five rappers is what I was expecting. No, completely.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:04

Like they don't really get out. They be in the house, on the game. Yeah. So it's like they sheltered nowadays.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:12

I talk shit to my apprentice all day. And I'm like, dude, your generation, what you what was your generation's drug of choice? Fucking Adderall? Like you like your drug of choice makes you more productive, you fucking losers.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:27

And with us.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:28

He's like 19. I'm like, you live in your mom's basement? I was a dad. I was a dad when I was your age. Grow up. Yeah, I was 19. Oh, really? He's my my apprentice is 19. I go, yeah, what? I was like, you have a girlfriend? No. I'm like, you a virgin? He goes, no. And I'm like, you're a fucking virgin. You're a fucking virgin.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:47

They really are sheltered.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:49

I was like, you fucking live. I was a dad when I was 19. You fucking.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:54

Oh, that really fucked them all up. Yeah, I think so too. A lot of people. Because you'd be surprised. These mom was just talking to my friend the other day and she was saying how her kids not pressed about getting a license. Oh, yeah. That's a really big thing. I was. Couldn't wait.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:09

I could not wait. I got it the day I drive. I had it like the day before so I could drive when I drive. I was like, what is wrong?

SPEAKER_00 2:08:15

They saw sheltered.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:16

Like. Well, they got lifts and Uber and shit. And that's the problem.

SPEAKER_00 2:08:20

And that's what she was saying. She making her kids take driver trying it because they want to lift an Uber. And she was like, something might happen. You might be with your granddad one day. Yeah. And something happened and you need the drive. Yeah. What were you going to do?

SPEAKER_03 2:08:32

I feel like they I was just because I taught high school and for five years. Okay. I feel like they all waited until they were 18. So that they didn't have to.

SPEAKER_00 2:08:43

Is it because it's for eating? I don't think that that really played a role.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:48

A written test, I mean.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:49

They don't have to do the like road test. Oh one of the tests they don't have to do.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:55

And you don't have to do the course.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:57

They were all waiting, like they just I but they also were super anxious. Like they were all really anxious and didn't want to drive. Like they didn't feel like they were ready. They didn't trust themselves.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:07

These kids is getting too coddled. Like they can't, they don't not gonna be ready for the real world. They cut out home egg. They don't know how to cook the microwave and everything. They don't know how to sew.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:18

Yeah. I'm just gonna be able to do that. One teacher that taught that at the high school that I worked at.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:24

They cut it out.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:25

Like the kids.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:26

But her class is survived if they had like 40 kids in every class. Wow. Because everyone wanted to take that stuff. They wanted that was like stuff that they were interested in. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:35

They Uber Eat every damn thing. Cooking. Like, you gotta learn how to cook.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:40

Like even ordering at a restaurant.

SPEAKER_09 2:09:42

A lot of them don't know how to do because they do it on like they order pickup on their phone and just I have seen a trend in social anxiety being like worse with that with kids.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:54

They don't even know how to socialize.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:56

Yeah, his oldest doesn't like like when I was 13, I was out with my friends all the time. I was at their house, they were at my house. Like I just wanted to be with my friends. They don't like hang out.

SPEAKER_04 2:10:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:06

They might play video games together, but like to go to each other's houses is like a foreign concept. It's like a big deal.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:13

Like he'll they only do it like once a month, and I'm like, And he has one friend that he'll like go to his house.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:18

But he's but he's very well, at least you know he's sank now, because there's so much going on, you don't know what the hell is going on.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:24

Yeah, but see, I I have I have been hearing a lot of people say, like, oh, it's dude, there's so much happening. It's it is I think it's I think it's always been happening.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:34

The only But not as bad though.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:37

Like a Well, so like my my thought.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:39

Or it's just more brought up because of social media. And that's what I was gonna say, yeah, it's more public now because they post everything, but I still don't think stuff was as bad.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:47

Like, no, I think things were I think things were generally worse in the past.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:51

Like in the past, you think so?

SPEAKER_09 2:10:53

Yeah, well, so okay, so think about it in the in this terms. Like, there's a there's a little girl that got abducted by a FedEx driver and she got murdered. Like, this is like a viral story right now. Seven-year-old girl got uh got abducted by FedEx driver. That's it. Horrific. But if this was 50 years ago, we would not know about it because it's not in our state. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, and like and it is in our country, so we might hear about it like a year after it happened. Yeah, yeah. Like maybe there'd be like a segment about his execution or whatever the fuck. But if there's a shooting at a s at a high school, say in California, and we're in Michigan, not only will we hear about it as it's happening, we'll see videos taken by kids that are in the school recording before it's over. Yeah, you know what I mean? So like the like having a phone is so powerful, like it's awesome, but it's also horrible in a lot of ways because it it makes a gigantic earth really small. Because like I have a couple of my buddies that are like upset. With this Israel and Gaza and Palestine, all this shit. Like, this is their focus. I don't even watch the news. I can't do it. But they like there's like I came to work one time and Marty was like, hey, uh, he's like, oh, dude, I gotta show you this video. I was like, what is it? And he's like, dude, it's a little girl. And I'm like, no, I don't want to see like I don't even want to see that stuff on kid, like in Gaza. I would never know that that person existed. I didn't, I refuse to let him show me the video. But I would have never known that person existed 25 years ago. Yeah, you know what I mean. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 2:12:33

Yeah, you're right. It's more exposed, but it just seemed like stuffing got a little more violent. We know, like I said, nothing new under the sun, but it's like now they trying to do a new stuff on top of the already bad.

SPEAKER_09 2:12:49

Yeah. I don't know. I I I feel like it's I I don't know. I'm I'm going off of it.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:54

Mass shootings are more than they were.

SPEAKER_00 2:12:57

Like it used to be stuff used to happen like every blue moon. Now you it it's every other day or something.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:03

With mass shootings, yeah. That's I'm yeah, I mean That's part of the reason why I don't teach anymore.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:08

Because it was like happening.

SPEAKER_00 2:13:11

Yeah. Like who had time to be going to work and then they come shoot the place. I would literally have like nightmares every night.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:17

Like that's that's and then I'd go to work and be scared that something was gonna happen. My dreams do come true a lot.

SPEAKER_00 2:13:24

And they do, because they say true that our dreams is sick as uh signals. Your dreams be talking to you, they signs. Yeah, so you did the right thing because you see how how they are now, so yeah, I ain't mad at you at that. And these kids bad as hell now days. Yeah, like if you can't punch their ass in the throat, I don't want to be a teacher.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:45

See, there was uh I I've read this book, uh Coddling of the American Mind by uh oh fuck, who is it by? I forgot his name. I'm high. Blame not being high.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:54

You don't have to blame that every time. You just have a poor memory. It's okay.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:58

Well, marijuana affects the memory. Do you remember that? Half baked. Uh but in the coddling of the American Mind, they talk about these helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s where you're always hovering, you're always protecting, you're always nerfing the world. Now you can't protect my own. And he makes a correlation between that and like the rise of fatal peanut allergies because instead of letting the kid get some exposure to it, and then your body starts to learn how to adapt to that, instead, they sheltered them from it, and then all of a sudden there's kids dying from peanuts, which before the, you know, whatever, the before the 80s, like a fatal peanut allergy. These keys is so incredibly rare. They are, but they were engineered soft by helicopter parents who hovered over their kids on every move.

SPEAKER_00 2:14:41

Like they don't even eat dirt like we used to.

SPEAKER_03 2:14:45

My my best friend growing up would literally take spoons outside and she would pick up dirt and put dirt in her mouth, and she'd be like, God made dirt and dirt don't hurt. Hey, she's not lying.

SPEAKER_09 2:15:00

There's so much bacteria and dirt. That is, I can't, I absolutely have to say that's dumb. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 2:15:09

But I'm just saying though, we did it and did not happen to us.

SPEAKER_09 2:15:12

Oh, someone ate enough dirt to die. A hundred percent. I know so. Listen, if a pipe, if a pipe breaks underground, all of the water that's supplied to the houses from their eyes has to be stopped from being that's why they put like a boil water advisories out. Because if pipes burst, bacteria from the dirt gets into that pipe and can literally get into your eyes, get into your ears. If you ingest it, it can kill you. I mean, there's I mean, everything from E. coli to parasites to essentially put it like dirt. Dirt is absolutely like gonna made dirt and dirt don't hurt. Dirt absolutely hurts.

SPEAKER_00 2:15:58

You're probably not wrong about that. They eat red dirt for healing.

SPEAKER_09 2:16:03

Yeah, they're really known for being like super healthy and intelligent people.

SPEAKER_00 2:16:07

Yeah, I'm trying to tell you. They used to always say that when I was working at the salon. Because they I had diabetes. I don't like saying it. But anyway. Why? Because I don't be wanting to feel like I'm claiming it, you know. I just don't like saying the shit.

SPEAKER_09 2:16:22

It's just something that you go through.

SPEAKER_00 2:16:23

Yeah, but they used to always tell me, like, oh, you need to go eat some of that red dirt from Atlanta. And you'll be straight. And then I heard this other older Don Saw person, he's like, my mom used to eat a spoonful every day. Of dirt?

SPEAKER_08 2:16:36

And no people.

SPEAKER_00 2:16:37

Yeah, I was living like 90. Let me tell you, I went and got some. You should see this dirt. When I spread it out, I'm gonna send y'all a picture of it when I get home. I say it got like crystals and gold. When you look at it, it's red, but it's a whole, I guess it's the minerals. I'm gonna send it to you.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:57

Do you still eat it? Is that why you have some at home? I'm gonna look at it.

SPEAKER_00 2:17:00

I eat it every blue moon. I'm not gonna lie. And what about it don't taste like dirt? It don't have no dirt taste. It got gold sparkles all in it and shit. I'm telling you, that's probably why I'm my skin like this.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:17

I am I gotta I have Jet GPT and that's right now.

SPEAKER_00 2:17:20

I'm trying to tell you, all our Southern people, please let them know that y'all eat dirt and ain't nothing wrong with y'all.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:27

There's a long history of people eating certain kinds of clay or dirt in parts of American South, especially Georgia. The practice is called geophagy, which means earth eating. Some people believe the clay helps with nausea, stomach problems, pregnancy cravings, detoxing, or mineral deficiencies. In Georgia, the clay people usually talk about oh, the clay people usually talk about is white kaolin clay, which comes from the same region as famous for kaolin min mining. I don't know if I'm saying this word right. The clay has historically been used in things like ceramics medicine, even anti-diarrheal diarrheal products. The practice has roots in West African traditions brought over during slavery. Folk medicine in the rural south, pregnancy cravings sometimes linked to iron deficiencies.

SPEAKER_00 2:18:20

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:21

That being said, doctors warn against eating dirt or non-food clay regularly because it will contain lead, arsenic, parasites, bacteria, harmful minerals, and stuff that blocks nutrient absorption. Okay, so we're both right and we're both wrong.

SPEAKER_00 2:18:41

So look, I've had my ass for some years, so I felt like all the parasites died. I'm like, I'm like, okay, it's been in this bag for like six years, and then I spread it out and I look at it. I'm like, oh, I look like it should be good.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:56

Dude, eating dirt is wild.

SPEAKER_00 2:18:57

I'm trying to tell you don't even taste like I love doing this podcast so much. You learn something new every day, though.

SPEAKER_09 2:19:05

So Bill, do you remember Bill? You know Bill Bird, Bill the comic, right? I heard of him. Okay, so he's he his wife's black. He's a red-headed white dude from Boston. Okay. And he he has these he has a bit where he talks about like you gotta hang out with everybody. And like he makes a couple of jokes, like the the big joke in that premise is that he he's like, you know, like his wife's black. Whenever she takes a shower, she jumps into like a fucking oil tank of lotion. He had no idea that he said like he'd feel dry and he just thought it was time to change his towel. He never considered he needed lotion, too. And uh see, I told you he has like this whole joke where he's like if she drug her nails across his arm or something, and there's just like plumes of dust. And he's like, I'm ashy? I didn't know I could get ashy.

unknown 2:19:52

I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 2:19:55

And I thought I saw my leg one day like dang.

SPEAKER_09 2:19:58

But doing the but to circle back to this, doing this podcast is so funny because we have conversations that we would never have otherwise. And like finding out that you have dirt or that you eat dirt in like a 10-minute conversation after a set as we're leaving the bar would never happen. It's so funny, dude.

SPEAKER_00 2:20:18

Yep, I think I ate some like three times, probably.

SPEAKER_09 2:20:22

That is fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 2:20:24

Then how did you feel after? I didn't feel nothing different. I didn't feel no certain way. And then you know what though? When they say you be crave, like when you were saying the low irn, yeah, they did say I had low irn. So it would be like I would kind of like crave it.

SPEAKER_09 2:20:39

You'd crave the dirt?

SPEAKER_00 2:20:40

Yeah, out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_09 2:20:41

It's something to be like, okay, go get you like you ever see one of those charts where it's like, if you crave this, then you're lacking this.

SPEAKER_01 2:20:48

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I think it's easily. That's real. That is real.

SPEAKER_09 2:20:53

So when they're like, oh, you're craving, you're craving dark chocolate. Well, you need anti di antioxidants, so you should eat raspberries or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:01

You deficient in something, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:03

Huh.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:05

See, that seems like woo- I'm so sc I I'm so skeptical. I like I try not to be a cynic and miserable, but I'm skeptical when people tell me some shit that I can hear like a chiropractor saying. Like, you're a liar. Don't tell me anything. Don't tell me you know, shit. Okay, think about it.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:20

All the vegetables and everything come out the dirt. So dirt got a lot of nutrients in it.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:24

Yeah, but you're not uh Yeah, it does. I mean it does, but there's so many so many processes to take it from the raw thing to getting what the plant needed out of it. I don't know, man. I'm going straight to the dirt.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:40

I'm about to start selling mass. I'm trying to think of a metaphor of like You know all I can do, I could just think of something and be like, this dirt do this, and they ask to be like, Oh, you know they believe everything on social media. Yeah, like this dirt make your damn hair grow. These fucking ladies with their crystals. Their crystals and shit.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:01

There's crystals in the dirt.

SPEAKER_00 2:22:02

Oh, I'm gonna sell the dirt and tell them and make their grippers tighter. I'm about to be a millionaire. Eat this dirt, girl, and he's gonna marry you, okay? Don't clench on to that penis like never before. This was a teaspoon of this red dirt from April Hollywood. Yep, yup. Y'all was sitting next time, you could be like, damn, April that worked. Like, hell yeah, I'm back.

SPEAKER_09 2:22:34

That's crazy. That's fucking wild, dude.

SPEAKER_00 2:22:38

Yup, help them grippers.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:39

Uh shit. Those ads on Facebook or TikTok, they get me a lot too. So look, a lot of people just trying stuff.

SPEAKER_00 2:22:49

Just from just to be trying stuff. They'd be like, try this and this will work. I'll be like, nah, come on, no.

SPEAKER_09 2:22:54

Did you did you see the banana cleaners or was that just my feed?

SPEAKER_00 2:22:59

Banana cleaners.

SPEAKER_03 2:23:00

That must have just been you.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:02

There's no way this was just me. There's like my feed is a little fucked up, but it's there's no way it's so how did that clean the bananas?

SPEAKER_00 2:23:08

We don't we don't have to be a few.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:09

It was like code word for like a pocket pussy for the shower.

SPEAKER_00 2:23:12

That's what it I was thinking in my mind.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:14

Yeah, yeah. It was like a it was like a suction cup to the tile, and then it was like these like this like ribbed circle with like all these bristles, and like in the videos on TikTok, they were like putting a banana through there, like, oh it's a banana cleaner.

SPEAKER_00 2:23:30

And I'm like, you fuck that, right?

SPEAKER_09 2:23:31

Like for sure you can. Oh, and it was battery powered, so it would like move and like I was like, that's for sure you just.

SPEAKER_03 2:23:39

Yeah, well, they can't they can't make an ad for saying it is for a pocket busy?

SPEAKER_09 2:23:45

Yeah, they sell them at CVS next to the deodorant.

SPEAKER_00 2:23:49

What are you What? Are you serious?

SPEAKER_09 2:23:52

Ma'am. You're gonna tell me you've never been to CVS and saw a buzzy butt?

SPEAKER_00 2:23:56

No.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:58

Oh, next time you're in CVS.

SPEAKER_00 2:23:59

Well, I'm in the hood, you know, we don't have everything.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:02

Okay, to be fair, in Detroit, they're probably locked behind glass.

SPEAKER_00 2:24:05

You know, we don't get all the good stuff right there.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:08

This it this when I was working in downtown Detroit, that was one of my favorite, like, recurring bits with my buddy. Is we would go to the CVS across the street from the Hudson building, and I'd be like, tell me why all the cocoa butter's locked up. Come on. This store's racist as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 2:24:25

I need all the cocoa butter. It would be random shit. You'd be like That's what they was feeling. It'd be like it'd be like just what they added.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:32

There'd be like there'd be like cocoa butter and like just for men. And I'm like, if you put Hennessy in there, like it's just two on the nose. Like, come on. It's like you know what the fuck you'd be doing.

SPEAKER_00 2:24:42

Oh, so that means cocoa butter is better for hand jobs.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:48

I think it was I was getting at that the what the items that they were locking up was racist.

SPEAKER_00 2:24:53

And I'm getting that they must be good for hand jobs, so they were stealing it. Because you gotta have a good lube when you give a good hand job.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:01

Huh.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:01

So I'm thinking cocoa butter, nice, smooth.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:04

Are you taking get your pen?

SPEAKER_00 2:25:06

Okay.

unknown 2:25:06

Get your pen.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:07

Yeah, no more, no more reluctant hand jobs.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:09

If I were lotion wear out quite easy, so you gotta keep using the lotion. You know what I'm saying? So I think cocoa butter would last.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:16

I feel like I'm learning here, and it's weird.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:18

Let me tell you, because I was cold-blooded.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:20

Wait, so is cocoa butter lasts longer?

SPEAKER_00 2:25:22

Yeah, because it's, you know, it's not um that lotion with the stuff they be making off the lotion, you know, it don't last long. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You you use that, you rub that a couple times, and it's dry. You get a little nice little cocoa butter.

SPEAKER_04 2:25:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:36

You got a nice little glide. I'm telling you, I was cold-blooded with my hand jobs back in the day.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:42

I I believe you. I just saw the motion. I just saw the technique. That was I'm in Oh, so I got something to try to.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:49

I'm gonna see why this comedian said that he was getting, he said it felt like he was getting the Indian burn. She was probably using lotion instead of cocoa butter.

SPEAKER_09 2:26:00

Just regular old dude, what is it, what is that, what is that one lotion that people use for their like really bad cracked hands? But it's like it's like petroleum jelly.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:10

Userine? Uh no, aquapore.

SPEAKER_09 2:26:12

Aquafort.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:13

Aquafore.

SPEAKER_09 2:26:14

You ever heard of aqua?

SPEAKER_00 2:26:14

I haven't heard of a userine, but aquaphor. You never did aquaper.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:18

People use it for like tattoos too, which you're really not supposed to, but back in the day they would tell you to put it on your tattoos when they were healing.

SPEAKER_09 2:26:24

It's like damn near it's like pet it's like almost like petroleum jelly lotion.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:28

It's like a white bottle with a blue cap. Little Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:26:32

The first time my hands were cracking really bad at one time. I don't know why. Like that really hasn't happened since then.

SPEAKER_00 2:26:39

Or it could have been uh the soap you was using, drying you out. Oh, could have been. But my hand, but like Especially at work, you know they use that cheap soap.

SPEAKER_09 2:26:45

Oh, I use like exclusively hand sanitizer at work. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, drying you out. Yeah. But so like my skin was like breaking all around my all around my nails.

SPEAKER_08 2:26:54

Oh, dude, it's suck.

SPEAKER_09 2:26:55

So I I got she's like, oh, you gotta get this stuff. Or was it you? Somebody fucking told me to get this shit. So I I get it, and I squirt like a like a regular glob of like what you would do with lotion. Dude, I my hands were slippery as fuck, as greasy as a hamburger for like a week. Shut up. Because I put like a like a I don't know, a silver dollar's worth of this shit in my hands, and you're supposed to use like a pea size? A pea size for your hands?

SPEAKER_00 2:27:27

Oh shit, I'm gonna come out of retirement. I was like with these higher prices. I mean some muscles.

SPEAKER_09 2:27:37

These are gonna be listen, you get you get a dozen eggs, you're getting a slippery fucking two-handed hand job. I saw that fucking, I saw your technique. Okay, I tell you what.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:51

You think I can use two hands?

SPEAKER_09 2:27:52

Oh, you wouldn't have to get I Hey, I'll tell you what, I can on you.

SPEAKER_00 2:27:58

Fuck you.

SPEAKER_09 2:27:59

That was rude.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:01

Oh, shoot.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:02

You didn't have to get real. You didn't have to get accurate. It was a joke. I resent that. It was a joke. She got little hands too.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:09

She's good. She's so fucking joking. She's good on her comeback. She's a jerk.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:14

Yeah, she normally doesn't like come on her back. That's weird.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:17

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:18

Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:18

It's so sticky.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:19

Yeah, it's so dumb.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:21

I just don't like it.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:22

So things we shouldn't talk about on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:25

Oh, I'm glad you're saying. Because I was wondering.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:28

I was gonna bring up a whole story about a condom.

SPEAKER_03 2:28:30

Oh my god. We're at two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:33

So we got time, is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:35

We didn't do it two hours.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:37

We're at two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:38

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:39

This place is a time warp, dude. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:42

Yeah, it is. That went by fast.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:45

Oh yeah. Oh, dude, it flies in.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:47

And this long drink that y'all gave me.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:50

You liked it though. You don't like gin, but you like that?

SPEAKER_00 2:28:53

I did like this.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:54

Because it didn't, it wasn't real sweet, and I don't feel like I got a lot of calories in here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:28:59

How many calories are in there? Do you know? Because it doesn't say on the can.

SPEAKER_00 2:29:02

Yeah. And then all I had was an omelet, so. 99.

unknown 2:29:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 2:29:08

Anything under a hundred calories is considered a free food. I'm going to get some.

SPEAKER_09 2:29:17

Drink a case of them. You're like, okay. Doesn't count.

SPEAKER_00 2:29:21

It does not count. It's under a hundred calories. Did you have oh that's because I went with my friends, they used to go to Weight Watchers. Oh, yeah. Yep. Anything under 100. Paige, you shit. She's Paige. She did that. Yeah. And it said long drink. I'm used to Long Island.

SPEAKER_05 2:29:38

Oh, so you thought it was gonna be super sweet?

SPEAKER_03 2:29:41

I can't drink a bunch of super sweet stuff.

SPEAKER_00 2:29:43

These I like, but I don't like sweet drinks.

SPEAKER_09 2:29:46

You've done Keisha's, right?

unknown 2:29:48

Huh?

SPEAKER_09 2:29:48

You've done Keisha's room?

SPEAKER_00 2:29:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:29:50

So the first time I went there, I didn't bring anything with me to drink because I was like, oh, it's a bar. And I get there and I was like, hey, can I get a and she's like, oh, we don't really do that. And I was like, oh. She's like, I mean, I got my own shit. You want me to make you a long drink? I was like, yeah. Keisha got me hammered by the time island. She made she made me a long island. She got me fucking hammered before I was.

SPEAKER_00 2:30:12

Four Lakers.

SPEAKER_09 2:30:14

Yeah. I was ham. She's like, I got my own shit. You want me to get it I was like, yeah. And I was hammered. Fucking hammered.

SPEAKER_00 2:30:20

Damn, and you had to drive all the way back here.

SPEAKER_09 2:30:22

I was it was a long time till I was on stage. So it was okay by the time. Yeah. Like I got on stage and I left like, yeah, it was a long fucking time. I was I was there for like two hours or something before I got on stage. So I was fine. And then I don't remember the host's name. But he goes.

SPEAKER_00 2:30:36

Darnell. Is he he's or is it red? The light-skinned one. Red. Detroit red. Yeah. I hope he's doing okay. He was in a really bad car accident. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, we she did something last Wednesday. Um, we did like the comedians came together and she did like a fundraiser.

SPEAKER_09 2:30:54

Oh, no shit. I didn't know about that.

SPEAKER_00 2:30:55

And it turned out good. I think she raised, she raised probably like 1,300 or something like that. But yeah, he was in a really bad car accident, and last week they said that he had eight broken ribs. Oh my god. Fuck shit. Yeah, I'm like, oh, that's horrible. So they say he did surgery, but I think he's still like in an adduced, induced coma.

SPEAKER_07 2:31:15

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 2:31:16

Yeah, it was a real bad yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, so yeah, Detroit Red, he he would host on Wednesday night. He light skinned, but he mixed.

SPEAKER_08 2:31:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:31:26

Yeah. I'm I'm all black. Yeah. Both of my parents is black.

SPEAKER_08 2:31:29

Really? You're light skinned, I thought.

SPEAKER_00 2:31:32

Yeah, I know. Because you know, a comedian asked me, he's like, April, are you like mixed or are you just light skinned? And I was like, no, I'm I'm just light skinned. Like, is that gonna give me more bookings? I'm like, he's like, so both of your parents is black? I was like, yeah, I just came out the oven early. Lightly toasted. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:31:52

That's hilarious. Dude, uh, yeah, that sucks about him getting hurt. I was gonna tell you, I was gonna tell a story about him because he when he brought me up, he's like, I so he's like, now I know there's some white motherfucker in here because uh the name I the next name, your next comedian is Matt Smith. And I got up there, I was like, I'm Lebanese and my kids are black, so you got that wrong.

SPEAKER_00 2:32:12

That was a good one. Yeah, I'm gonna have to see how he's doing because that's right. Man, I hope he got hurt. I didn't know that I got hurt, especially for his age. Eight broken ribs. I'm like, damn, that was a bad accent. I think he early 50s.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:27

Okay. Early, I think.

SPEAKER_09 2:32:28

I mean, getting eight broken ribs at all would fucking blow. Yeah, he's funny. Yeah. He would be when he was hosting, he'd go up there and riff off of whatever the thing the other comedian was talking about. And normally his riffs are funnier than the comics written shit.

SPEAKER_08 2:32:44

He's trying to funny. Yeah, he's funny as fuck. Yeah, I hope he's alright. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:32:50

Damn. That's crazy. I haven't done I haven't is she is she still doing the mics on Wednesdays? I haven't been there in the house.

SPEAKER_00 2:32:56

Wait a minute. No, because he had the we have. She canceled the case. Wait a minute, so uh Damn. I thought I just did that. Oh, you know what? She just posted that. She's looking for a host for Tuesday.

SPEAKER_10 2:33:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:33:10

And at first it was Wednesday and Thursday, but Red Band. Oh my god. She still did. I don't know, but I she did post the other day she's looking for somebody to host on Tuesday. Right on.

SPEAKER_09 2:33:24

So I might shoot her a text and see if she's a channel.

SPEAKER_00 2:33:26

But she always still got something going on because she posted uh they was watching the game in Taco Tuesday yesterday. Okay. So it's always something going on.

SPEAKER_09 2:33:35

Yeah. I see. She posts a lot. Like she I I saw that she had she had something. I don't know if she had some kind of competition or something recently.

SPEAKER_00 2:33:42

Yeah, so that's what Darnell been doing. So what days is his days? Maybe his days is Thursday. But yeah, they've been doing like a little comedy competition. And then he also had a um we did something like Wildin' Out.

SPEAKER_10 2:33:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:33:57

Yeah, where they pick a topic, the girls against the guy. So yeah, they try to do something at least every one or twice a once or twice a week. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:34:07

Yeah. I hope that place like gets some traction there. Cause that that place is fucking sweet.

SPEAKER_00 2:34:11

She is, because it's she's been always having a good crowd. And then they be having like a uh um what is it called? Like y'all been seeing those erotic poetry? Erotic poetry? Yeah, I went to one. I was performing at one. When I say I thought I was at a real live porno. No, I've never been to no shit like that before. And my mom and dad was with me, and I was sitting looking like, like, oh my goodness, is they doing this? Like the guy, he had ladies come up, and he was, he was y'all had to see this shit, and I couldn't believe I was.

SPEAKER_09 2:34:46

You said it was poetry though, right? So they're like reading poetry and then grinding on motherfuckers?

SPEAKER_00 2:34:50

I guess the people started off with poetry and then it had some real live, uh, what do you call that? They had some live scenes. The man was walking around and the girl, oh, they they was almost fucking basically. Like, yeah, yeah. So I was like, oh, my comedy gonna do great here.

SPEAKER_04 2:35:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:10

What I talk about, but I never seen nothing like that. I couldn't believe it. Do you know it was packed? Oh, really? We know sex sale. Yeah, it had to be at least about 300 people in there. I couldn't believe it.

SPEAKER_04 2:35:22

No shit.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:23

Yeah, I'm like, damn, I need to do some freaky shit like that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and so uh the girl who had that event, she does stuff at Keish Place. It's called erotic poetry, but they they do live performances. That's what it is. Some people was doing poetry, and then some people was doing live performance. Wow. That's what I said.

SPEAKER_09 2:35:46

You know, that's for someone that enjoyed the sex museum in Miami so much.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:51

I Oh, y'all gotta go. I went to Iceland last year. They had a dick museum. A dick museum? A dick museum. I got photos.

SPEAKER_03 2:36:03

We went to a sex museum and they had a bounce house, and it was like naked women, like giant naked women. I can show you pictures, but and then boobs everywhere. Like you're boobing over you're you're jumping over the boobs.

SPEAKER_09 2:36:17

Yeah, the whole bounce house was made out of like it was all tits. It was made out of tits. Wow, that's how the museum was. She goes to climb up. I was like, uh-uh, and then stop. She's like, I'm going up there. That looks fun. I can't believe you don't want to go up there. I'm like, this motherfucker opened a sex museum. That's a freaky motherfucker. You're gonna tell me you're gonna tell me they closed the doors on the museum and people aren't getting railed on the giant boob inflatable bouncy house? I'm not going to fucking flop around in someone's cum, dude. Not going up there.

SPEAKER_00 2:36:47

Somebody went excited. Oh my god. But yeah, you should see. It was crazy. They had penises from every animal that you could think of. We was like, wow, they got penises.

SPEAKER_09 2:37:01

What was the weirdest one? Oh shit. I think ducks have weird dicks.

SPEAKER_03 2:37:06

I think they have like spiral dicks.

SPEAKER_09 2:37:10

Ducks have spiral dicks? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:37:12

It was there like a corkscrew.

SPEAKER_00 2:37:13

Let me see if I can show y'all so.

SPEAKER_09 2:37:15

I feel like there was like I I feel like I read that some animal's dick evolved to be able to go through like a maze of a vagina because that animal the the female animals were getting raped so much they like evolved to make it more difficult to impregnate them.

SPEAKER_03 2:37:33

Probably the ducks. The animals was getting raped. Dude, I'd probably the ducks.

SPEAKER_09 2:37:37

I'm like pulling this out of my ass from a long time ago.

SPEAKER_03 2:37:40

Cats have spikes, that's why whenever cats have sex, they're like screaming. Like, have you ever heard a cat have sex?

SPEAKER_00 2:37:47

Yeah. I think I heard something like that. Because they do be screaming. Yeah. I think I heard something like that, but wow, it was just, we couldn't believe it. We like a penis museum. Sounds like fun. It was. We was backing it up on it and everything. I was like, you know what? I think the next life I want to come back as a horse.

SPEAKER_09 2:38:11

It is ducks. What the fuck did I just miss while I was reading the answer for my question here?

SPEAKER_00 2:38:17

Oh no, it's not just my face. Come back as a horse? Yeah, you see nay penis.

SPEAKER_09 2:38:21

Yeah, but you're gonna come back as a female horse, you're gonna have a female.

SPEAKER_00 2:38:25

Oh, that do look funny. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:38:29

I wasn't gonna go in there. It's come all over that thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:38:33

But wait a minute, they ain't got time to do that. Was anybody in there watching the people?

SPEAKER_09 2:38:39

He said when they close.

SPEAKER_00 2:38:41

Oh, the workers. You're talking about the workers.

SPEAKER_09 2:38:43

Oh, people are fucking in there when the lights are off. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 2:38:46

Yeah, yeah, you're right. At the end of the day.

SPEAKER_09 2:38:50

Okay, so in a lot of species, male and female reproductive anatomy appears to have evolved together in what biologists call an evolutionary arms race or co-evolution. Some animals have surprisingly complex genitals. Male structures evolve to improve fertilization success. Okay. So the famous example is ducks. Female ducks have complicated spiral-shaped reproductive tracts with dead ends and twists. Male ducks evolved with corkscrew corkscrew-shaped penises. Researchers think this evolved partly because forced mating rape is common in some duck species.

SPEAKER_00 2:39:36

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_09 2:39:37

So females evolved in anatomy to give them more control over fertilization. What is that?

SPEAKER_00 2:39:44

That was just probably uh that's just a wood structure. Yeah. But oh, I thought that was the video. I walked around and showed all of them.

SPEAKER_08 2:39:54

I just looked up the duck deck. That feels wrong.

SPEAKER_06 2:39:58

Whoa! What the fuck? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:40:05

That's crazy.

unknown 2:40:06

Damn.

SPEAKER_09 2:40:07

Did they they didn't have one of these in that penis museum? They might have did. That's hilarious, and I'm buying it right now.

SPEAKER_00 2:40:14

It looked like a cork. That's what it is. Oh wow. I was about to say no. Here go the waffles they made in there. Oh my gosh. These are the waffles. I'm mad. I must have erased the damn video trying to save some storage. Oh no. Is this it? My I got that dark screen on there, but that's kind of showing you all the ones. That looks like the sex museum. I was about to say, I'm pretty sure they had a duck. Because when you say they had every single animal you could think of, they had fish, they had sharks.

SPEAKER_09 2:40:48

Where was this at? Iceland. Iceland. Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 2:40:52

And y'all like, April, what the hell you doing in Iceland? I told y'all I'm different. I don't want to keep going and seeing everybody and going the same places.

SPEAKER_03 2:41:01

I experienced I have a friend who's gone to Iceland a couple of times. I've heard it's a really good idea. Iceland is beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 2:41:07

You'd be surprised because you say Iceland. People think, ooh, it's cold as I think.

SPEAKER_03 2:41:10

No, but it's the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 2:41:12

They have four, they had all four seasons just like us. So we went in September, and just how it was here, we get we be like about uh sometimes we get up to 60. It was like that over there.

SPEAKER_04 2:41:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:41:24

They say it get cold as hell though, like 20 below for they winter. But we went for fall. It was hot.

SPEAKER_03 2:41:31

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:41:32

It was so nice. They had this um, damn, what was it called? It's an um outdoor, it's not a pool. It's uh, damn, I forget what a hot spring? Yeah, so nice. And it had a bar, and then it had these seven little, it was like a spa, but it was the outside hot spring, so you know it was hot, and then I forgot what ocean we was off of. So you can be on the ledge with your drink looking at the ocean. It was so nice. I'm talking about y'all would go and have a blast. The food, oh my goodness, the food's so damn good. I'm like, who the fuck back there cooking? I guess black people over here in Iceland. I'm talking about season the shit out of the food. Food was good as hell, but it's high. So let me just let you know. You can get there and it's reasonable, but far as eating, like every meal is like $40.

SPEAKER_03 2:42:24

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:42:25

Uh, breakfast $40, dinner $50.

SPEAKER_03 2:42:29

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:42:30

But the food literally was good as hell.

SPEAKER_09 2:42:32

Dude, Miami was so expensive. I yeah. We went through so much money just eating. I bet. Yeah. I was we it got to the point where I was like, hey, we're going to get bread and fucking bologna.

SPEAKER_00 2:42:43

Oh, yeah, we ate breakfast and we found the uh a grocery store right when we was about to leave. Like, damn.

SPEAKER_08 2:42:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:42:50

But I was enjoying the food, dog. The food good as hell. Oh, had fish and chip, never had no fish and chip like this in my life. It was so big. And you know they don't have all them impurities in the food, like how they do us here.

SPEAKER_04 2:43:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:43:04

Food so good, fresh.

SPEAKER_08 2:43:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:43:07

Y'all were really gonna have a nice time. It's so much to do. Yeah, they got a black sand beach. Oh, yeah. And it looks like dinosaurs, but it's black sand.

SPEAKER_09 2:43:17

How much of that did you eat?

SPEAKER_00 2:43:19

We didn't we didn't go. You're right, because I probably would have tried it like, oh, dinosaurs didn't go, but they got dine. I mean, they got that black sand beach, they got volcanoes, they got it's a lot to do. Yeah, it's really nice out.

SPEAKER_09 2:43:34

So we're we're getting married in September. Okay. But we're we're planning on doing our honeymoon in Ireland. Have you ever been to Ireland?

SPEAKER_00 2:43:43

I have not, because you know that's right next door.

SPEAKER_09 2:43:45

Yeah, it's only one letter away. Yeah. One C away.

SPEAKER_00 2:43:48

Yep. I went because I follow this uh this travel uh content creator. And when he showed all this stuff the dude, and I'm like, I'm going there.

SPEAKER_04 2:43:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:43:58

His name is Kimmore, Kenroy or something. He on Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 2:44:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:44:03

And if y'all ever want to go travel and look, he goes everywhere and show the stuff. And I was like, damn, I was showing all my family. They like, ooh, we want to go, we want to go. But I guess they thought I was joking. So me and my friend, I showed her, she's like, I want to go.

unknown 2:44:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:44:17

And we went, it was awesome. We was here like uh four days, four days, five days, four nights.

SPEAKER_09 2:44:24

Yeah. Do you have a ballpark or like what it costs you?

SPEAKER_00 2:44:27

Uh damn, how much was it? It was about it was really reasonable. Probably like about I want to say probably like 15. Okay. About 15. And that might have been what I flight. Like I said, the most money we were spending was eating. Yeah. And because I was telling my dis my dentist, he's like, April, what you doing? You doing? I'm like, I'm going to Iceland. And they're saying that's the number one tourist spot. It is a big spot, right? Yeah. And he was like, Oh, Abra, I heard it's so nice. He said, But I heard it's expensive. He said, they say it's reasonable. Both of my doctors. The dentist said that, and then another doctor I was going to see, and I told her, she was like, I heard it's really nice and reasonable to get there, but once you get there, it's a little expensive. Yeah. But it's nice. You plan ahead, and you know.

SPEAKER_09 2:45:13

Do I so I follow I I follow a few different YouTube channels, and a lot of those not specifically because they travel, but there's like mountain bikers that I follow or like whatever. Race car drivers or whatever that I follow. And like, but the one place that I keep seeing in these videos is the Swiss Alps. Oh and it is the most beautiful place on earth.

SPEAKER_00 2:45:37

I took a picture of that. I saw a place, and they was up in the mountains in a jacuzzi.

SPEAKER_09 2:45:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:45:42

And they had they was in a jacuzzi, it was snow everywhere, and then they gave them this little board and had all this fruit and stuff on there. Did you see something like that?

SPEAKER_09 2:45:50

No, but I'm like, I I'm getting envious.

SPEAKER_00 2:45:54

It looked really nice. I was like, ooh, I think I want to try that next.

SPEAKER_09 2:45:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:45:59

Well, I wanted to go to Dubai, like I was telling y'all, but my favorite.

SPEAKER_09 2:46:02

That feels scary. I don't like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:46:04

Now, yeah, probably now.

SPEAKER_09 2:46:07

I mean, that's like the most pretty place on earth.

SPEAKER_00 2:46:09

That's crazy. Oh, you need to see the pictures with the with the snow and how they was up in them.

SPEAKER_09 2:46:15

That's like that scratches my brain like in such a visceral way. Like just sit there and stare at it.

SPEAKER_00 2:46:21

Yeah. God, what a place. Yeah, that is beautiful. I want to go to Thailand.

SPEAKER_08 2:46:28

Thailand? Yeah. That's another trip. Yourself a lady boy.

SPEAKER_00 2:46:31

Or cheap trip. Yeah. That's what they say, but that damn flight, I'm like, I'm gonna need a private jet. Shit. Okay, it was like 18, 16, 18 hours. God. Yeah, that's what I said.

SPEAKER_09 2:46:43

I don't like flying to Florida.

SPEAKER_00 2:46:44

It's like three hours. Oh, Florida ain't nothing. We used to drive to Florida every year.

SPEAKER_09 2:46:49

Dude, driving to Florida's brutal. When you were talking about stopping in Atlanta to get something, I was like, was it to get gas and get the fuck out of there? I hate driving through Atlanta.

SPEAKER_00 2:46:59

Oh, I hate that traffic. It's ridiculous. I thought about moving there, but I'm like, I'm so spoiled being here. You can get to the other side of town in 20, 30 minutes. There, everywhere's like an hour and a half. I'm like, that's too damn long.

SPEAKER_09 2:47:13

Dude, that's how that's how Florida is. We were talking about like that was the bit I did about Miami when I did my spot there. I was like, too fast, too furious. This movie, that movie, all these movies that happen in Miami. It's fucking bullshit. Like, I haven't gone faster than like 50 miles an hour the whole time I've been here.

SPEAKER_00 2:47:33

Yeah, because you'd be in the tourist area. Just stuck going. Yeah, especially in Orlando.

SPEAKER_09 2:47:37

Even on the freeway. Like, you're going 50 miles an hour in the fast lane. Like, this is all these movies where you're speeding around shoot bad bad boys, too. I'm like bad boys. It would have been more realistic if the chase scenes were on like e-bikes. Because those guys are going faster than everyone in cars.

SPEAKER_00 2:47:55

Right, they really are. Mom went past me the other day. I said, Do he think he had car?

SPEAKER_09 2:48:00

Oh my god, dude. Some of these kids, I've seen kids going like 40 on those things. I'm like, dude, you're on a sidewalk.

SPEAKER_00 2:48:08

This little boy, I thought he was about to come. He stopped so hard. I was in my work truck. I'm like, and then he's gonna look at me like I'm crazy. He was flying, and I'm like, the light red. I'm like, oh shit, is he about to stop?

SPEAKER_09 2:48:20

Dude, it scares me.

SPEAKER_00 2:48:21

And my Well, you know they don't have no fear because they're young. They don't understand it.

SPEAKER_09 2:48:25

They don't understand, like, hey, if you hit the ground hard enough, you might just be different for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_00 2:48:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 2:48:31

Dude, I got my son's talking about he wants to he wants to split payments like between like a birthday present and his savings or whatever to buy one of these e-bikes. And his mom is like planning on splitting it with him to get it. And I'm like, you like I was saying, not the one he told to shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_01 2:48:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:48:50

That's the one that's the mom. See, right. But he goes, uh, I go, hey, you know when you ride that thing, you need to wear like a motorcycle helmet, not like a bicycle helmet. Oh no. And I'm like, it's not funny though. Like I'm not trying to be cute or controlling. Like that thing goes 40 miles and not 50 miles an hour.

SPEAKER_03 2:49:11

The problem is too is that kids don't know like the rules of driving if when they're his age. Like, I don't feel like I don't feel like they should have them before they know the rules of the road. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:49:22

Yeah. There's definitely like age of maturity that you reach with traffic and understanding what will happen. Like if if I put him on a dirt bike that went 50 miles an hour and I was like, just do whatever you want. Like there's no way he would understand like you have to stop at a stop sign. That's like giving him a car. Yeah. Right. Yeah, but you you less likely to die in a car than on a fucking electric dirt bike that goes straight.

SPEAKER_00 2:49:54

And those little mini bikes, when I say he was flying and zipping, I'm like, who even let his little ass? He was little and was flying through the parking.

SPEAKER_09 2:50:04

On one of those mini crotch rockets?

SPEAKER_00 2:50:06

Or yeah, it was something like that.

SPEAKER_09 2:50:09

Those things rip.

SPEAKER_00 2:50:10

He had to be, he couldn't be no older than seven.

SPEAKER_09 2:50:13

They're a joke for adults. Those things, I'm not kidding. Those things were literally built to be funny for adults to ride around.

SPEAKER_00 2:50:20

Really?

SPEAKER_09 2:50:21

But people are buying them thing for the kids, but they go like 40 miles an hour. They run on gas.

SPEAKER_00 2:50:27

I was nervous for him. I'm like, damn, if he make the wrong turn or do something, and of course he didn't have on no helmet. Yeah. And he was flying.

SPEAKER_09 2:50:36

Dude, that scares this shit out of me. I I'm trying to not be like a major helicopter parent because I don't want my kids to be like super soft.

SPEAKER_00 2:50:45

Because they learn from experiences. Right. Yeah. You can't protect them from everything. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:50:50

But some shit, I'm like, hey, this one. Like, there's gotta be common sense. Yeah, I do. Aside from like being a helicopter parent. I don't I think my oldest would be okay on one of these bikes. I think it would be like an it wouldn't be a reckless mistake if he got hurt on it. It would be like a just like a inexperience, or it would be someone else's fault if he got hurt on it. The other two? I don't know. The other two are.

SPEAKER_03 2:51:15

No, they're way too young.

SPEAKER_09 2:51:16

Well, I know, but I'm saying personality. Even if they were 13, but they are who they are. Like personality-wise. I think the youngest would absolutely get himself hurt, and it would be his own damn fault because he'd be doing something dumb as hell. You know what this fucking kid said to me the other day? I fuck this guy. This fucking kid, my seven-year-old, is a problem, dude. He comes up to me, he goes, Dad, I know how to make someone miss their free throw. I go, from the stand? He goes, yeah. I go, how? He goes, you go like this.

SPEAKER_06 2:51:51

That's my man.

SPEAKER_00 2:51:54

I was like, don't think it's like a darn mistake. He is dark.

SPEAKER_09 2:52:00

Dude, I was crying. I was just like, and I go to record him and I go, hold on. Okay, tell me about this free throw thing again. He goes, when someone's doing a free throw, you say, That's my man, and I love him. I was like, there's no fucking way. I was laughing so hard.

SPEAKER_00 2:52:21

Oh, I would have been laughing. That's funny.

SPEAKER_08 2:52:25

I love Kid. That kid is funny as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 2:52:27

They are funny and they be so serious, and they say the darnest thing. Y'all remember that program? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know why they cut that off. That was so good. I thought it was Bill Cosby.

SPEAKER_09 2:52:37

It was Bill Cosby.

SPEAKER_00 2:52:38

No, Steve Harvey did one too. Bill Cosby did it. He was the original. Oh, he was the original? Yeah. Oh, and you saw the Steve Harvey one.

SPEAKER_09 2:52:46

Oh, yeah. He did that in like the late 70s, 80s.

SPEAKER_00 2:52:49

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, damn. No, that told me something.

SPEAKER_09 2:52:53

Yeah, oh yeah. So they cut that one off for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 2:52:58

Oh shit. He wants to slip in the kids and then well.

SPEAKER_09 2:53:00

No, no, no, no. I'm just kidding. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 2:53:02

Getting the pudding pops and shit.

SPEAKER_09 2:53:04

Late pudding pops. Which mouth is like. Oh, dude.

unknown 2:53:10

Holy fuck.

SPEAKER_09 2:53:12

I'm going to look this up now. Kid uh kids. Because I feel like I might have lied to you.

SPEAKER_03 2:53:15

It was Bill Cosby. I remember watching.

SPEAKER_09 2:53:19

No, I know it was Bill Cosby, but I want to know the years.

SPEAKER_00 2:53:22

Gotta be the 70s. Because I want to say between the 20s.

SPEAKER_03 2:53:26

Also, today we were at the bus stop.

SPEAKER_09 2:53:27

Oh my god, I'm so wrong. 98 to 2000. Yeah, you're wrong.

SPEAKER_00 2:53:33

98?

SPEAKER_09 2:53:34

So wrong.

unknown 2:53:35

Bill Cosby!

SPEAKER_00 2:53:37

Okay, let me look at the video. So I'll see how we do it. Yeah. 98 to 2000?

SPEAKER_09 2:53:44

Oh my god, I thought that was because I remember watching it feeling like it was old. But I was a little kid when I was watching it.

SPEAKER_00 2:53:49

I thought I was watching like I I didn't never even see this.

SPEAKER_09 2:53:55

Original Kids Say the Darnest Things. The original Kids Say the Darnest Things started as an art segment in the 50s. Bill Cosby did it in the late 90s. Tiffany Haddish did it. Tiffany Haddish did it? They got her talking to Dude, Tiffany Haddish had a bit where. I don't know how to remember. Tiffany Haddish had a bit where she used to put like a ping pong ball on her pussy and shoot it out.

SPEAKER_03 2:54:15

She was talking to children?

SPEAKER_09 2:54:16

And she was Dude, what? I have to pee.

SPEAKER_03 2:54:20

I can't hold it. I had to pee when I said we were at two and a half hours. Ooh, girl.

SPEAKER_01 2:54:25

See, she got good rippers.

SPEAKER_09 2:54:29

Yeah, she does.

SPEAKER_00 2:54:32

So you ain't see where Sci Steve Harvey?

SPEAKER_09 2:54:35

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 2:54:35

That's what we Yeah, that's what we were trying to do.

SPEAKER_06 2:54:40

Steve Harvey.

SPEAKER_09 2:54:44

There was one in the 50s. Oh, I didn't know there was one in the 50s. Dude, I could I would have put money on that that was in the 70s. That was in the 90s. The late 90s.

SPEAKER_00 2:54:52

That's crazy. I don't even remember him ever taking it.

SPEAKER_09 2:54:54

He did it from 19 to 2019 to 2020. So I only did it for a year. Two years. That's crazy. Dang. I can't believe that was the late 90s. I feel so dumb. I would have like, in my mind, for sure, like the kids are wearing like the 70s clothes when I think about the. They probably was. But I grew up watching a lot of old shit.

SPEAKER_00 2:55:15

So I thought it was like the old stuff would be the best stuff. I like the old.

SPEAKER_09 2:55:20

My dad would make me watch fucking Hee-Haw and like Hee-Haw? You never watch Hee-Haw? It was like a hillbilly SNL in the 70s. What about Little House on the Prairie? I was gonna bring up Little House on the Prairie. You know, Mash? I love Mash. I'm related to Klinger.

SPEAKER_00 2:55:36

Really?

SPEAKER_09 2:55:37

On my Lebanese side, yeah. Yeah, my mom's Lebanese.

SPEAKER_01 2:55:40

Everybody loves Clinger.

SPEAKER_09 2:55:42

Dude, I was like, of course I'd be related to the cross dresser. Of course. Okay, Jamie Farr. Jamie Farr is my like fourth cousin or some shit.

SPEAKER_00 2:55:53

What else used to come on back then, like in that area?

SPEAKER_09 2:55:55

Uh uh The A team.

SPEAKER_00 2:55:58

Um, the Beverly Hill Billys.

SPEAKER_09 2:56:00

Beverly Hill bellies.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:01

That was good. And um, what was Andy Griffin's show called?

SPEAKER_09 2:56:06

The Andy Griffith show.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:07

That's what it was. It was called the Andy Ghow.

SPEAKER_09 2:56:08

When he was the police officer and then the But well that was the that was the that was the Oh that was Beaver, I think I'm talking about. Yeah, so he that he had a spin-off that was the Andy Griffith show.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 2:56:20

Oh, I'm saying Andy Griffith, because that's a comedian. Andy Griffin. Is it Andy Griffin show? It's Andy somebody. Shit. Oh no, Anthony Griff Fifth is a comedian.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:31

Okay, right. And this was the Andy Griffin show.

SPEAKER_09 2:56:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:34

Is that when he was a um and he had uh and he was a uh a sheriff?

SPEAKER_09 2:56:39

I think so. Is he a sheriff or was he a mailman or a bus driver? No, he was a sheriff.

unknown 2:56:45

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:47

Okay. And then he had his little c his partner, and the partner was funny. What was his name?

SPEAKER_09 2:56:53

Andy Griffith. Oh, it is Griffith. Andy Griffith as and Sheriff Andy Taylor.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:59

Yeah, he was the sheriff.

unknown 2:57:00

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_09 2:57:01

Now who's that comedian? I thought the comedian was Anthony Griffith. Dude, I'm like, this is what I do when I'm high and I have Chat GPT to play with.

SPEAKER_00 2:57:13

Uh-huh. Ain't that something that Chat GPT is gonna take over the world?

SPEAKER_09 2:57:17

Okay, so it is Anthony Griffith. Anthony Griffith is a stand-up comedian known for his storytelling story and comedy. Dude, his book, he has a book uh where he talks about his daughter. If you want to cry like a fucking baby reading a book, my god. I sobbed like a child reading his book.

SPEAKER_00 2:57:36

I like reading books too.

SPEAKER_09 2:57:38

It was so his Anthony Griffith wrote a book with his wife, and it's kind of like uh their two perspectives of the beginning of his career, the beginning of their marriage, them having their daughter, and then their daughter getting sick. Dude, it reads like you're reading two people's journal like journals, like private, you know, journals, and they go back and forth and they're different perspectives of the same situations. It is so good. It's I mean, it's horrific what they went through, but it is such a well-written book, and you like you feel like you know these people by the time you get through the book. Oh my god, it was so good. I cried like a baby reading that book. Their their uh their daughter was their daughter was born with uh a certain type of Down syndrome where they have this susceptibility to leukemia. So she had Down syndrome, and they like talk about like the the trials and tribulations of having a daughter that has Down syndrome, but then also she gets sick, and then things start going downhill or whatever, and then he talks about his career in the aftermath of his daughter dying. She died, she died, yeah. She died at like two years old.

SPEAKER_00 2:58:49

I like seeing Lake is be sick.

SPEAKER_09 2:58:51

I know, but my god, it's a po it it feels it when when I was reading it, I was mad at myself for buying it because I was like, why the fuck? You know. But when I got through it, it's like one of those books you're like, I needed to read that because someone Make you be grateful. Yeah. Like someone went through this so that everyone else can kind of realign and be like, um, maybe I'm not that mad about this, or whatever the fuck, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 2:59:12

Yeah, it do be a reminder because like they said, it's always somebody doing worse off than you.

SPEAKER_09 2:59:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:59:17

So you do have to be grateful.

SPEAKER_09 2:59:19

And in and in the middle of this, his his career is taking off. He's like doing lettermen and doing that's crazy. So he's like doing he's doing lettermen like uh like within weeks or whatever of his daughter dying. It's like, how the fuck could you do that? Focus. How could you?

SPEAKER_00 2:59:33

Like, you know, that person is gonna survive or make it when they could press through something like that. Because life do be life, and yeah. And you it take a tough person to keep pushing through on them tough times.

SPEAKER_08 2:59:46

Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:59:47

That's crazy. So do you think oh, they didn't do no movie off of it.

SPEAKER_08 2:59:51

I think they should.

SPEAKER_00 2:59:52

Because you know how they say they be thinking the movies be bad. I mean the books be better than the movies. I was gonna say, do you think that's bad?

SPEAKER_09 3:00:01

I feel like you get more nuanced in the book. Like you understand the complexities of how everything happened more reading a book. But I feel like if you're actually like uh as far as like actually experiencing what is happening, I think the m I think movies are far superior because it's closer to like what life is like. You know what I mean? Like if you're like a soldier, you're not you know, like to watch a war movie like Saving Private Ryan, you know, where like in the beginning, like on D-Day, World War II D-Day, these kids are just fucking just absolute chaos and fear and like and all the visuals of like what's actually happening, and you're taking it in at a pace that seems realistic. You sit down and read that scene. How good's your imagination?

SPEAKER_00 3:00:54

Yeah, your mind, yeah, I was about to say, yeah, your mind from seeing it and reading it giving you different uh interpretations.

SPEAKER_09 3:01:01

Yeah, but like r but like watching a movie, if you're in the right mindset and you're paying attention to it, maybe you're a little you know, and then you experience what's happening in the movie or in the show, that's totally like that's so that's so much closer to like what we actually go through as I think it's I think there's no comparison. But I love reading. It's it's it's a different itch that it scratches, you know? Yeah, I'm into Malcolm Gladwell is my favorite author. I don't like a lot, I don't read a lot of fiction, like almost no fiction. So uh Malcolm Gladwell is an incredible storyteller and he's a journalist. So he takes these he takes these concepts, he'll come up with a concept and he'll write about several different things that fall within that concept, and it's it's awesome. It's really good. Like he has uh uh a book, Talking to Strangers, where the concept of the book is what went wrong with Sandra Bland? Why what were the events that led up to them those two people crossing and what went wrong with that interaction so bad that it ended the way that it did. And then he and that's how he opens the book, and then that's how he concludes the book. So you got like eight hours of exploring this concept of the tipping point, which is like, hey, this event happened, and if this event didn't happen, everything that happened after that wouldn't have. Yeah. So like he's exploring this idea of the tipping point in sociology, and it's so I mean, the way he writes is so good, it's so captivating. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 3:02:44

What's his name again?

SPEAKER_09 3:02:46

Malcolm Gladwell.

SPEAKER_00 3:02:47

Malcolm Gladwell.

SPEAKER_09 3:02:50

He's got the the tipping point, talking to strangers, um I mean I've read like I I think I have like seven or eight of his books, but the only one that I've I haven't read that came out recently was Bomber Mafia, where he's talking he's it's a like a historical book about the bombers of World War II, the the guys that flow the pain that flew the planes, but the rest of his books I've read and excellent. Excellent author.

SPEAKER_00 3:03:17

I'm doing a new book, so I'm not gonna be defending this up a little bit.

SPEAKER_09 3:03:22

Yeah, I mean you could read the Anthony Griffith one and cry your eyes out.

SPEAKER_03 3:03:24

Do you like sci-fi? I'm not really a sci-fi. I'm in a book club, we just read Dark Matter. That was our first sci-fi book of the It was actually really good. It's like scientists exploring alternate realities almost. So I don't it was interesting.

SPEAKER_09 3:03:44

This is not what they normally read.

SPEAKER_03 3:03:46

No, and we read a book about we read a smut book about a pastor.

SPEAKER_09 3:03:50

So that was butt fucking a chick on the altar.

SPEAKER_03 3:03:54

With the with the anointing oils.

SPEAKER_09 3:03:57

You know what one of her I've told this story a hundred times on the podcast, but one of the girls that's in the book club was in traffic listening to the book, listening to the smut book, and she looks over and a guy has his phone propped up in his car and he's watching porn in traffic. And she's like, Oh my god, that guy's watching porn. And then she went, Oh, I'm listening to porn.

SPEAKER_00 3:04:26

Right, what's the difference? Ain't that something? These passes is wild nowadays. Sheesh.

SPEAKER_04 3:04:35

But fucking a chip.

SPEAKER_00 3:04:37

Or then he had that lotion y'all was talking about.

SPEAKER_09 3:04:40

Oh, we gotta get anointing oil. That's forget the aquifer. We gotta get you anointing oils for your comeback at in your hand job era or whatever this one.

SPEAKER_00 3:04:50

Oh, yeah, it might help some of them grow.

SPEAKER_09 3:04:55

I'm gonna send this episode to your son and be like, hey, go to go to three.

SPEAKER_00 3:05:06

Yeah, he used to come to my show.

SPEAKER_09 3:05:08

My mom gets a hand job. You should gotta see that.

SPEAKER_00 3:05:12

Yeah, but he used to be like, he'll go out, he'll walk out sometimes and I'll come out. Or certain jokes, I'll be like, I'm not even gonna tell y'all because my son is here. But even heard a few like mom. I'm like, it's real life. Like, how do you think you get here?

SPEAKER_09 3:05:30

That makes it, oh dude, that makes it so much funnier. Because you're like, oh, and it's real. Right. What's wrong? It's just real.

SPEAKER_00 3:05:36

Right. Like, he probably getting handjobs.

SPEAKER_09 3:05:42

Oh, dude. Oh boy. I can't I'm I'm actually I'm excited that my son's like getting to the like he's in the beginning of him becoming an adult. At 13, it's like, alright, now in about 10 years, we could be I can just lean into who I am with you. Yeah, yeah. I'm excited for that. But I dude, I love making my oldest uncomfortable. Just just like your favorite thing. Okay, oh alright. Well, like I know what my favorite stories are, but what came to mind when I said this? What came to mind for you?

SPEAKER_03 3:06:18

No, just in general, how you are. Oh I don't have a specific.

SPEAKER_09 3:06:21

I mean, like, I'll just do like regular shit. Like, she'll like bend over to like get a pot out, and I'm like behind her, like, yeah. You know, or like I don't know. Like just making the kids just making the kids uncomfortable is so funny to me.

SPEAKER_00 3:06:34

It do be funny.

SPEAKER_09 3:06:35

I mean, I don't take it like crazy, like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 3:06:37

Right, too far. Yeah, I don't take it too far.

SPEAKER_09 3:06:39

But like, you know. Just enough. My kids were doing this like six seven thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:06:46

Oh my goodness, they all was going through that.

SPEAKER_09 3:06:49

So I was trying to, I was trying to get it to stop. So I was like, come here, let me tell you something. I was like, do you know what that means? You don't know what that means. He's like, what? I'm like, 6'7. He's like, yeah, I do. I thought you don't know what it means, dude. You don't.

SPEAKER_00 3:07:03

Because I forgot we was something crazy.

SPEAKER_09 3:07:06

What is this part? Do you know what this part is? He goes, no. I go, that's jiggling titties. You can't say 6'7 because that's jiggling boobs. That's what you're saying. Right. That's not what it means. I'm like, it's not what it means.

SPEAKER_00 3:07:19

Yeah, because they had just into doing stuff and don't know the real meaning of it. So they do have to be careful, Doc.

SPEAKER_03 3:07:25

Last night his youngest comes in the door and he goes, Dad, do you know what 6'9 means? And he like kind of ignored it and he said, Dad, do you know what 6'9 means? And I'm like, what does 6'9 mean? He goes, sexy.

SPEAKER_00 3:07:45

What you think he did.

SPEAKER_09 3:07:46

Yeah, like I hope you don't know what the fuck is.

SPEAKER_00 3:07:48

That's what I thought the 5'7 thing coming at y'all with the clipping toe nails.

SPEAKER_09 3:08:00

Oh, but there was a joke. Oh, it was uh It was 68. You remember the 68 thing? 6'9 without the You You owe me and then I owe you one.

SPEAKER_03 3:08:13

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 3:08:14

I remember that. I was black now.

SPEAKER_00 3:08:17

That's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_09 3:08:19

I love I love Tom Seguro's bit about 69ing. He's like, he's like, are we in a rush? Like, do we have somewhere to be? This is this sucks for both of us.

SPEAKER_00 3:08:31

Oh, because they're doing it at the same time.

SPEAKER_09 3:08:33

And he's like, and then he's like, the fucking monsters who are the guys on top? Like the the guys on top, those fucking psychopaths? The girls just trying to not die down there with his ass cheeks in her face. Okay. Oh, it's so good. God. Alright. On that note, dude, we gotta wrap it up. Uh, where do people follow you? Do you have anything coming up? All that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 3:08:58

Um, do I have anything coming up? Oh, you know what? I'm gonna be on uh Billy. You familiar with Billy Chapman? Uh yes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, because Billy, uh, that him and his wife was at the um stands when we were there. I'm doing a show with him on May 16th. Is it May 16th? Uh and I believe it's in um oh damn, where is it? Oh, well, anyway, they can follow me on Instagram at APHollywood37. And I'm APHollywood37. Also on TikTok and on Facebook is my name, April Brown. I'm a month and a color. Can't forget that. Oh, and so the show with Billy is I gotta pull out my readers, y'all. I'm sorry. That happens when you get up there and age. And then don't laugh at me because my thing is broken.

SPEAKER_03 3:09:58

You're always broken.

SPEAKER_00 3:09:59

Readers are always broken. I'm like, this is like my fifth pair. Okay, it's called the Michaelics Comedy Crew. We will be at the Irish Tavern in Lake Orient on May 30th. Um, that's a Saturday and it's at 8 p.m. It's a free comedy show, and they just accept cash tips at the end. But we have a really good time. Is that with Charles Hill? Nope, this is with Billy Chapman. Charles. Oh, wait a minute. No, we got Steve Lid. Okay. Am I spelling that right? I mean pronouncing that right. L-I-N-D.

SPEAKER_09 3:10:36

Oh, right on.

SPEAKER_00 3:10:37

Yeah. And then we got Peter Ben YK.

SPEAKER_09 3:10:44

Banwick? YK. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 3:10:46

Ben.

SPEAKER_09 3:10:48

Do I need my cheers or am I just fried?

SPEAKER_03 3:10:53

Bandick? Bandick.

SPEAKER_09 3:10:57

I I've never heard of that fella.

SPEAKER_00 3:10:59

Okay. He banned they banned his dick.

SPEAKER_09 3:11:02

Banned his dick.

SPEAKER_00 3:11:04

So yeah, that's happening May 30th. And then I I be doing my own shows. Like every four months, I get a haul, call up some comedians, and we have a really good time, so I'll make sure I keep y'all posted so y'all can come hang out with me one day.

SPEAKER_09 3:11:18

Dude, that's fun. Hell yeah, dude. Thanks for coming out. I know it was a little bit of a haul.

SPEAKER_00 3:11:23

Yeah, I'm glad I'm legit and shit. Especially in this dark, man. You know, and good thing I got tenants, so they won't see my ass and be like, now wait a minute, what's she doing out here? You way far from eight mile, young lady.

SPEAKER_09 3:11:40

It's not as bad up here as people say it is. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 3:11:44

Yeah. Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_00 3:11:45

But I really enjoy myself. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming out.

SPEAKER_09 3:11:49

I fucking this is my favorite thing on earth, especially talking to comics where I can just be a normal dipshit. Yeah. Not have to worry about offending some delicate.

SPEAKER_01 3:12:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 3:12:03

Oh my gosh. Yeah.

unknown 3:12:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 3:12:05

There's been yeah. You don't need to get into all that. That's a whole thing we could get into. But yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. I'm I'm I gotta say, I've yawned a few times. It's not because of you. It's because we were playing baseball at 11 o'clock last night.

SPEAKER_00 3:12:18

Oh, that was fun. Y'all be drinking beer too when you're all by?

SPEAKER_09 3:12:22

I was drinking water and Gatorade because I was super dehydrated. I was like, I had full intentions of getting hammered last night at our game. At the gang. And then I I was center left running around in the first inning, and my heart rate was like two, like damn near 200. And I was like, I am dehydrated as fuck. I can't drink.

SPEAKER_03 3:12:38

I was drinking bagged margaritas. Oh, was that?

SPEAKER_09 3:12:41

Yeah, and that's why you took a softball to the fucking ankle.

SPEAKER_00 3:12:44

Oh, that's what you was checking your ankle bike. Yeah. I hope you put some ice on it. I did last night.

SPEAKER_09 3:12:52

She fell on a bike like a year ago because my my youngest left his bike out in the garage. She stepped in like the frame and fucked her ankle off.

SPEAKER_03 3:12:59

I was in a boot. I couldn't walk for a couple days. I was in a boot for like six months. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 3:13:04

And then we were playing catch trying to get like warmed up for softball season. And I just like grip-locked one and threw it right at her shin.

SPEAKER_00 3:13:13

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_09 3:13:14

Dude, the noise it made was hilarious. It sounded like a catch-in- When I got hit. No, it was like do.

SPEAKER_03 3:13:19

Yeah. When I got hit last night, too. When I got hit last night, too, people kept saying that sounded like it hurt. I was like, oh, it hurt.

SPEAKER_09 3:13:26

Oh, and then she got hit with a with a foul tip from her.

SPEAKER_03 3:13:31

It wasn't a foul tip, it was that guy that was ripping them too.

SPEAKER_09 3:13:35

Were you weren't you catching?

SPEAKER_03 3:13:37

No, it was when I was playing third.

SPEAKER_09 3:13:38

Oh. So you okay.

SPEAKER_03 3:13:41

Sheesh.

SPEAKER_09 3:13:42

Took one right to the ankle. She's tough. I was being a bitch. I was making a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 3:13:46

I literally when I was leaving work, I was like, I don't know, should I just go to urgent care and get an x-ray just to cry? Yeah, you're probably fine. Did it switch up bad? It had like a little bit of a goose egg earlier.

SPEAKER_09 3:13:57

Did it? She called me on the way home. She called me on the way home. She goes, you know how like your ankle bone pokes out on the outside of your ankle? She's like, I thought I was looking at my bone all day. No, it's a bruise.

SPEAKER_03 3:14:09

It's like my my ankle's not bruised. It's all sweet. It's just like a little goose egg.

SPEAKER_05 3:14:14

Hilarious.

SPEAKER_09 3:14:16

She's like, I thought that was just my bone all day. Nope. Ankles aren't the same.

SPEAKER_03 3:14:21

I hope you've taken some. You ain't need nothing to take for that. I'm good. Fair enough. I took some Tylenol last night. I'll probably take some work when I get home.

SPEAKER_09 3:14:30

Yeah, between the two of us, I'm the little bitch. I'm the little bitch in this relationship.

SPEAKER_00 3:14:36

You know, we are tougher than y'all anyway. Y'all can't take it.

SPEAKER_09 3:14:40

I get scared of my own thoughts. I end up having to take a bath. She got her back broke by a drunk driver. She's like, yeah, it's I can't.

SPEAKER_00 3:14:50

I really think we can take y'all stronger physically, but as far as anything else, we stronger. Yeah. You're right. Yeah, we can take pain. We stronger emotionally. Everything. Emotionally, for sure. Y'all just stronger than us physically. Right.

SPEAKER_09 3:15:05

Emotionally, for sure. But that's that's an upbringing thing. I don't think that's a dick thing.

SPEAKER_03 3:15:12

I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 3:15:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:15:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 3:15:15

All right, I mean. Let's wrap it up.

SPEAKER_04 3:15:21

Peace.

SPEAKER_09 3:15:22

Ultimate purpose is not survival, it's it's finding perfect white.