#62 - Omer Perry talks Race Jokes, Relationship Double Standards, and Wild Hookup Stories

On this episode of Good Times, Noodle Salad, Matt sits down one-on-one with Detroit stand up comic Omer Perry for one of the most unfiltered conversations the podcast has had yet. The two dive into the funniest debate imaginable: what’s the blackest thing Matt has ever done versus the whitest thing Omer has ever done, and why white people somehow always seem to “own stuff for no reason.”

Matt and Omer also get brutally honest about relationships, jealousy, and the complicated balance of knowing too much about your partner’s sexual history. The conversation spirals into stories about their boldest romantic encounters, awkward dating realities, and the weird psychology behind insecurity, confidence, and modern relationships.

As always, the episode bounces between hilarious stand up comedy observations, uncomfortable truths, and completely reckless jokes that somehow become weirdly insightful. One minute they’re talking about race and class, the next they’re debating hookup ethics and life decisions that absolutely should’ve stayed private.

Classic GTNS chaos from start to finish.

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:36

I'm in the city. Fuck. I'm on my way right now.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

After my bad, dude. I didn't know. See, I wouldn't talk about the gas either. I need that gas. I'll send you five bucks. Hey, shit. That's the. I got you. I take it.

SPEAKER_06 0:53

Oh shit. We're going to put the put the colors on. Alright. Give me a color.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Shit. I mean, I ain't racist, so you can put on any color you want.

SPEAKER_06 1:04

Alright. We're going to go. I don't know, whatever that is. Fucking gold-ish. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, we saw uh, like I was saying, me and uh me and my fiance saw you do a set at One Night Stands. I was like, I gotta reach out to this guy. He's fucking silly as hell.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Oh yeah. I actually wasn't a fan of comedy. I've been doing uh comedy for a little bit. Uh I only started because like a lot of my friends think like you should just go do comedy one time. And I was like, I don't even know the fucking how to do comedy. And I went to a few, and I like the outcome. Yeah. Even though I ain't gonna lie to you, the last time I just did a comedy show was at uh where the fuck is that at uh Punchline, that's in Southfield. I belly flopped hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Oh yeah?

SPEAKER_02 1:42

I was fucking like I was drinking too much, and like I was trying to flirt with this girl, and the fucking uh host called me on first, and I'm like, like fuck. Like he like you on. I'm like, yeah, I'm on this fine bitch right here. Give me a second, like go on somebody else. He was like, no, I come up now. I got up there, I ain't know what the fuck to say. Licker kicked in. I was sitting there like, uh, yeah, uh as soon as he walked down to like the end of the hallway, I was like, Yeah, come get this mic, bro. Tonight ain't my night. Yeah, I did a comedy show since then. That was like a month ago. Oh no. Yeah, that was a hard belly fly for me. But I uh I worked on a lot of jokes after that.

SPEAKER_06 2:16

Did the chick take off on you? She's like, this motherfucker's not funny.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

I swear, like I was telling her, like, I'm the night, I'm the I'm the night of the show, like you're gonna look at me. And I got there, I I couldn't have I ain't had shit to say. I was just sitting there like, uh crowd.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Alright, I'm done.

SPEAKER_06 2:31

You remember uh you just reminded me of that fucking uh fast and fierce. She's like, if you win, you get both of us, and then when he loses, she's like, What's your problem? You didn't win. Like both of them left. That shit happened to you, but you went on stage.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Yeah, no, trust me, bro. When I came back to the seat, she was gone like a motherfucker. Oh, no. I'm gonna just make my exit right now.

SPEAKER_06 2:50

Yeah, I gotta get the fuck out of here. Dude.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Yeah, that was like the worst belly flop I ever had. Yeah. Standard-wise.

SPEAKER_06 2:56

How long you been doing it?

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Uh, it's probably been like less than a year, honestly.

SPEAKER_06 3:00

Okay. Yeah. Um I wouldn't have thought you were like in your first year when we saw you at one night stands. You were fucking, you had me fucking rolling.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

Oh yeah, I mean, because I got high confidence. I'm like fucking, I'm just like a dickhead. Well, you're a dickhead, it's like more relaxing.

SPEAKER_06 3:14

No, you had a set what was your I don't want to blow up your your premises, but you were talking you were talking about like well you all I th if I remember right, because this was a while ago. When when did you do one night stands? Like six months ago or something? Uh honestly, can't recall, honestly. I ain't gonna lie to you. I did not remember verbatimly. Oh yeah, no worries. Uh, but you were you were joking about like you were like, man, fucking comedy or whatever, like uh driving all the way the fuck up to here. He's like, I you know, you're like, you're like, man, this is I you were joking about like uh having a we were you joking about having a shitty car? You're like, I got a bad car, and he you had me drive me all the way the fuck up here to do five minutes or something. Was that you?

SPEAKER_02 3:52

No, no, I don't think that was now. Oh, oh, fuck. That's my baby. Damn, that's all black people are like the most uh This was so long ago, dude.

SPEAKER_06 4:03

Fucking my kids are mixed, fuck you.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Nah, the most uh joke I made about cars, like uh how fucking white people don't mind sitting in traffic because y'all like fucking got fucking a car full of gas and they got all like all these detours in the city and shit. Like y'all don't y'all ain't in a rush to go to work because y'all own the place. Y'all like y'all the fucking managers and shit. So like y'all don't sit in mind sitting in traffic. Us black people, we like got a fucking quarter of E. We sitting there like ah fuck, come on. And they got all these fucking detours.

unknown 4:29

So yeah.

SPEAKER_06 4:30

Freaking out in traffic, trying to get to work on time. Uh huh.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Sitting there.

SPEAKER_06 4:34

Yeah, you ask you fucking one of the first things you said to me was like, Do you own the building? Like, motherfucker, no. I'm a comic, dude. It cost me every extra penny I have to be here.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

You gotta be hey man, you gotta fucking ask. White people be fucking rich for no reason. Y'all just be fucking mad rich for for I don't even know. Like, nigga, y'all a fucking show a nigga to decorate the independence, like, yeah, my grandfather, he wrote that that's that part right there. Like, why the fuck do you even got it?

SPEAKER_06 4:57

Not me. I am not the fucking I am not the building owning white people, bro. I fucking I just bought a house.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

See, look, a lot of black people can't even say that.

SPEAKER_06 5:08

Yeah, a lot of white people can't say it either. What the fuck? No, I no, I am not owned the building white.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

And you know what's crazy? Like, yeah, I mean, because uh, well, a lot of white people are on my block. Like, they just like fucking randomly just like start moving in. It's like, damn, you know what? Joe used to live right there. Where the fuck Joe moved? And it's like white people just like fucking in and out casual, just where are you at in the city? Uh I'm in uh Detroit. I'm uh uh I'm in a hood. Yeah. Right, right, right not too far from Brightmall.

SPEAKER_06 5:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

If you all know where that's at.

SPEAKER_06 5:40

I'm a Detroit pipe fetter, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

So I know that I know the area pretty well.

SPEAKER_06 5:45

Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. Dude, I was uh I just I was just working at the Hudson job and uh the you know that new Hudson building that's downtown and they're uh that's like the new GM headquarters or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

I ain't gonna lie to you, I don't know nothing about they fucking rebenf in downtown. You just fucking see new shit everywhere. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 6:04

Oh that new high-rise though. It's a new skyscraper, it's been there.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Is that the one with the Apple in there? The Apple? The Apple building, the Apple store?

SPEAKER_06 6:12

I'm not sure if it's got an Apple store. I don't fuck with Apple, bro. No, I'm not gonna. I know that.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

I was looking at the Android and I was like, ah, that must just be here's recording phone.

SPEAKER_06 6:22

Dude, no, uh no, there's no there's no uh stores in that building yet. But the uh but I was just working on that, working on the building downtown uh on Woodward and whatever the fuck. But uh where that and where the where the trolley runs, some fucking some dude left the job and got fucking hit by the train right there. His tire got ripped off. Like they ripped his wheel off his car, he got hit so hard. Damn. I'm like, how do you not see that coming? That thing goes eight miles an hour, bro.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

But I mean, I say Detroit are like the best drivers, honestly. Uh I've been to a few states and them niggas drive shitty. Oh man. So I think where? I've been to fucking Atlanta. I hate they driving, I hate all them fucking lanes. I've been to fucking Houston, I fucking hate all them lanes. They shit fucking confusing as hell. Like, our freeways are like fucking basic. Like either nigga, you go you getting off right here or you keeping straight. And the other ones be like, you getting off over here, but you turning this way. Yeah. And yeah, now I hate shit like that.

SPEAKER_06 7:17

Oh, dude, I was paying. We were me and my fiance paige, who's normally here. She's not here today. She's uh but she uh we were we were just on vacation in Florida, and bro, I we rented a car. I was so I was anxious as fuck every time we had to drive somewhere because the exits are on the left, on the right, in the middle. You're like, oh, stay in the left four lanes. I'm like, left four lanes? What the f we got four lanes in Michigan.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Like that's all we got. Like, y'all give us some extra? I mean, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 7:43

That and in Florida, you the fastest you go is like 60 miles an hour. Shit, I mean. No, I ain't never been to Florida yet, but you can't go any faster. Trust me, I'm like a 90-mile-an-hour guy on the freeway, no matter what. Detroit. Southfield Freeway. You get a Southfield Freeway, it's like posted 55 motherfucker Y. Like no one is going 55 out of the five. I think that's like for the minimum.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

That's minimal speed. That's minimum. It's minimum. If you ain't doing at least 80, then you're driving wrong.

SPEAKER_06 8:11

Dude, that's the scariest freeway to drive on on a motorcycle, exact uh, especially. That freeway is scary as hell because it's either 90 or zero, bro. There's nowhere in between. It's either 90 or zero. And I got, dude, I uh I was driving home from I was working in Dearborn driving up uh Southfield Freeway. I came up on stop traffic and I went in between cars on my motorcycle and went up like five cars and then I pulled back in. And a state trooper pulled me over like a half mile from there, and he's like, I saw what you did, blah blah blah. And I was like, hey man, like you saw that I stopped though. Like I didn't keep going, like cheating up the traffic. I just didn't want to be a puddle because some guy didn't see the traffic was completely stopped. Yeah, so I was like, I only went up enough cars where like if there was a cat car accident, I wasn't gonna be a puddle in the fucking freeway. And he was like, Don't do it again, and let me off. I was like, I'm I'm I was riding away going, like, all right, cool. I didn't get a ticket, but I'm absolutely doing that every time, bro.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

See, I'm like a liar when it comes to cars. He just saw me and I'm like, No, you didn't. That wasn't me, bro. You ain't just see the other motorcycle just turn off. Like, bro, I just came up. I fucking love lying to cops. I don't know why, it's just like fucking funny.

SPEAKER_06 9:24

Dude, I get I fucking uh I re-rended some, I fell asleep in traffic. I worked, I worked a long ass day. Shit, one bust. I worked like, I don't know, some I worked like 14 hours or some shit. No, no, no, no. It was I was stuck surprisingly. I'm like, dude, pipe fetters drink, dude. And surprisingly, I was sober. But I I worked like a 14 or 16 hour day. It was a long ass day. And uh I was coming up on that turnoff of Telegraph where there's like a million motherfuckers turning left, and I just bam! Hit somebody. I was like, you gotta be kidding me. I did not have insurance on my car. Walking to Detroit, dude, right? So the the cop uh I get pulled, you know, the cop shows up. No, waited. The late the lady was screaming in my face. I was like, this bitch is about to hit me.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

I'd have been just like this, like, yeah, come on, I got some baby. Right, that's when you get in the emergency lane. That's when you that's what the emergency lane phone was.

SPEAKER_06 10:17

I waited. This lady, I I this lady was out of her car and filming my face before I was like fully aware what happened.

unknown 10:23

What the fuck's your problem?

SPEAKER_06 10:25

Phone in my face. I was like, damn, bitch, you know. So I so we whatever. They're fucking we pulled over to the side into a business. Cops showed up, they're like, all right, you know, license, blah blah blah, proof of insurance. I was like, I don't have insurance. Like my insurance lapsed like a month ago, and he's like, Okay, what do you think's gonna happen now? You go to jail, and I was like, what come on, man? For fucking for insurance, bro, like what the fuck, you know? And uh he's like, Look, all right, there's like not even a dent on this lady's car. She's being a Karen, she's being extra as fuck. And he was like, he goes, Look, if you buy insurance that starts tomorrow, I'll let you off. I'm like, fucking bet. And my at the time my sh my credit was shit. I was an apprentice and I had no money and terrible insurance. I had some shit that was like repo'd, you know what I mean? So like my credit was like a fucking 500. And I was like, oh, so I'm like panicking. I'm going to every website and like sorry, we can't approve you at this time. Sorry, we can't approve you at this time. And then I got to like I got to like progressive or Geico or one of those, like online, and it was like, okay, you can have insurance starting tomorrow if you put like a thousand dollars down. I'm like, fuck. All right, and I did it. So they can put this like save or something. Like, fuck it. Right, right. Dude, I had no money at the time. So I was like, fuck yeah, buy that insurance. I canceled that shit the next day.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

I'm about to say, don't feel bad. I ain't got insurance now. I get insurance just enough to give me a plate. Yeah, I ain't gonna get my plate. I need some egos. I'm gonna show that I ain't gonna crash this motherfucker. I gotta No, no, I'm kidding. What's your license plate? Broke. That's what my license plate said. Broke. So we hit this no. You're gonna see that. But I I like I'm lucky, man. Why are white people got like that fucking like caring side to them? Because like I was fucking in the uh Farndale, like the gay part of fucking the white neighborhood the other day. That's the whole thing. But yeah, continue. And I'm fucking driving, like I was eating this fucking uh Tracer's chicken. Listen, Trace's chicken, and I threw it out the window. And I'm just driving by my fucking bin. I'm going down wood. The paper? No, yeah. The box, I just fucking throwing the book.

SPEAKER_06 12:23

Oh, that's a bitch move. You can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Shit. That's what I do. And like I'm fucking driving. This car like just followed me. I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I'm getting nervous now.

SPEAKER_06 12:32

What is this guy following me for?

SPEAKER_02 12:35

I'm like nervous. I'm fucking in and out of traffic. Like, and the the shitty part was like I didn't catch like not one red light. Like every light was fucking green, and I'm just like fucking gunning light, swerving out traffic trying to see like, why the fuck is this car like? Did he want to race? Yeah. So I slowed up a little bit to like kind of let him pass. And motherfucker was like still riding my ass. I was like, what the fuck? So now my black side started kicking it. I'm like, all right, nigga, you want it? Today's gonna be my heart beating fast as fuck. I'm sitting there like, all right, today's gonna be the day. I gotta show up, motherfucker. So I pull over to like the next nearest fucking uh side street. And I pull over and I got my gun on my left. I'm sitting there like trying to angle myself, like so I could like fucking have some accuracy. And then the old white bitch get out the car, like she on the phone, and I'm sitting, like, what the fuck? She ran up to the window. She was like, I'm gonna phone with the people that I just gave me a license plate. You threw all that trash out the window. And I'm sitting there thinking, like, bitch, I was about to throw something else out the window. You don't get the fuck away from me. And I pulled off on her. And I sit there like sweating shit. Like, you got me all nervous, bitch. I'm thinking I'm thinking it's real.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Shit.

SPEAKER_06 13:32

Right. And she's bitching about a I mean, all right, so first of all, I mean, definitely don't definitely don't throw shit out the car. That's a bitch move. But I mean, that lady doesn't know what the fuck. I mean, she doesn't know you. Like, that could that could have been crazy.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

That would have been fucking wild. I've been fucking first 40 days. You shoot someone like a white lady.

SPEAKER_06 13:51

Some fucking old lady named Darlene, and you just blew her away for some a box of chicken.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

But yeah, I don't I don't live in a I don't live in a hood. Uh I don't even know. Don't do it at all, man. Don't do it at all. I don't know. I like fucking antagonizing white people.

SPEAKER_06 14:07

It's like fucking. That's funny as fuck, though. You got chased down for a fucking cardboard box. Yeah. Damn.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

I went about to like, what's his name? Chad the builder? What's his name? Child. Chud.

SPEAKER_06 14:17

Oh, that mother, that dumb fuck.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

Yeah, little weak ass mustache dude. I wanna fucking. I don't play don't get into a shit out with the nigga then, but I just wanted to fucking antagonize the shit out of him just to fucking piss up.

SPEAKER_06 14:29

I never heard of him until he got arrested, but let's he's like, What what does he do? Do you know about did you know about this guy before he got shot?

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Uh no, no, no. Uh I started following him. I bumped it to his page, I think, on Facebook, and I was like, oh, who the fuck this fucking bozo thinks he is? Like, this nigga got some balls on him. Like, he he don't do it in a hood. He do it like in like fucking like suburbanish areas, like, dude, like with the white black people. He ain't never went like nowhere where it's like a nigga, like, what this nigga just say?

SPEAKER_06 14:55

What does he do though? Like, I heard he's a racist piece of shit. Like, he just runs out and like tries to get people to.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

It was like a black bitch on there talking about, yeah, we fucked. So uh I don't think he's too racist. I think he just like, you know, that's it's debatable. Like, yeah, I mean, it's like what moved the internet nowadays. Like, yeah, I mean, you find like the most controversial thing to say, and you like fucking press people with it, and then you got no choice but to get reactions. So that's what I think that is.

SPEAKER_06 15:21

I heard he's like running around like like saying the N-word. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He does do that? That is something he does? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Like he as soon as he fixed his lip to say, mmm, that motherfucker's gonna be twisted. Yeah, mean up cut.

SPEAKER_06 15:33

Dude, I just uh KFC Barstool for the the dude, the dude, the dude from uh Barstool Sports. I saw him do uh he did a video about it, and he was like, dude, they just set his bond for 1.25 million.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

You got like 10% with that?

SPEAKER_06 15:46

Or that's yeah, but you gotta does that kid have $125,000?

SPEAKER_02 15:50

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Uh fucking, you know, white people.

SPEAKER_06 15:52

They're probably not gonna I don't you keep saying that. You thought I owned this motherfucker, bro. I didn't all fucking white people be loaded, bro.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

No God.

SPEAKER_06 16:00

It's not all of us, alright? It's not all of us. Hey, I got a I got enough Arabic in me that I got no fucking money, bro.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

I ain't too I don't see too many broke Arabic folks. Like shit.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Like Yeah. You ain't never drove through Dearborn or went to fucking uh the Walmart Dearborn. Them motherfuckers be loaded. I ain't never seen like a fucking Arabic on the side of the road with a fucking homely homeless sign, shit.

SPEAKER_06 16:25

Oh yeah, well no, we don't do that. We just we just go to work, bro. We don't no the people with the homeless signs are trying to get their next their next fix of fentanyl. Ain't nobody on the street for for for any good reason other than drug addiction.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Is it a bad thing? I don't ever fucking give money to like the white homeless people.

SPEAKER_06 16:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're racist.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

I ain't racist. My best friend is fucking white. He locked up not so I can't call him.

SPEAKER_06 16:48

I've said that same sentence. I've said that sometimes. Dude, I had a I had a joke on stage where I was like, uh, where I was like, my my doctor's like two years older than me, handsome and black. There is nothing you could get me to do to do a physical with him. There is no slapping it around that will ever have this beautiful man's hand wrapped around my balls. I was like, he looks like the dude that I lie about being friends with when black people when black people ask me if I have black friends. Oh, yeah, he's a wealthy one. Yeah, he is a he's a handsome fella. There's no way I'm putting my he wears a Wu-Tang chain, and I'm like, it's not a gaudy one, it's a little one, but still, it's enough to be like, you're my doctor, though.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

See, look, the best the best places to find a fucking good black friend is either hooping in the hood or fucking a comedy show. Like that's where you meet like good fucking genuine white or black people. Yeah. I got I met some white, good, uh, some good uh white friends.

SPEAKER_06 17:45

I call it, I call it misfit church. You just like you you go to it's you run into the same people at all these mics, you know what I mean? And it's like you're gonna be friends. Like you're like it's just like forced on you. Like, I go from everywhere from Keisha's in East Point to One Night Stands out here to fucking Harve's Lounge in Lincoln Park, and it's like I run into the same people at all these places.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

You never know like how much people move around and be like, oh yeah, you know this nigga? Yeah, I know that dude.

SPEAKER_06 18:09

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. I love it. I love it. It's the fucking, it's the best place to make misfit friends. Like, I want to be friends with weirdos, man. That's those are my people.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Uh I don't know, because uh I ain't gonna say weirdos because it's like uh I met this one fucking uh he was a fucking weirdo. Uh it's called independent uh oh at in hamstring air. And he was like, what's them people that that fucking fuck like the fuck dead bodies or dead people? Bro.

SPEAKER_06 18:35

I can't even. What is that? Narc not narcolepsy. That's people that don't sleep. What the fuck is that called? Uh necrophilia. Nectophilia, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

He was like fucking bragging about it. Like, he had like a whole fucking set about it, and I was sitting there like there's no way.

SPEAKER_05 18:49

Wait, he who was being serious? Like he fucked a body?

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Yeah, I mean, I took him serious. I don't know. I didn't laugh. It wasn't white people laughing. I was like, you'll probably fuck a white dead body too. Like I was a little disgusted.

SPEAKER_06 19:00

You're making shit up, bro. There ain't no fucking way. He's type this was a premise? Like he's on stage talking about fucking bodies?

SPEAKER_02 19:07

He was, and I was I was highly disgusted. And I got on stage, I was like, What was his name? I do not fucking remember. He was such a weirdo. I was like disgusted with the whole fucking act now. Like, where the fuck am I at?

SPEAKER_06 19:19

Yeah. Dude, I haven't done the independent. Is it is it a good mic other than that weirdo?

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Uh, yeah, yeah, no. It was it was good, Mike. Then it was like uh they did this one little set. They uh like they'll like shoot you like a word and you had to like joke around the word and shit. So it was like fun. I had I had a good time there.

SPEAKER_06 19:34

Yeah. Okay. So it's almost like uh almost like stand up on the spot kind of deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Yeah, like you do a set and then they throw some words at you.

SPEAKER_06 19:41

Like, oh that's cool. Then you riff on that. That's a good way to find new material. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

Yeah, so yeah. That was nice other than that. That weird shit.

SPEAKER_06 19:47

Why aren't you doing mics? You just said you didn't, you didn't you haven't done a mic in like a month.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

No, I haven't. I haven't. No, I haven't done it. I said, yeah, since I belly flopped, I haven't done that. You had to go home, jerk off, think about how bad that set was. Nah, nigga. I went home, nigga. I fucking reconcentrated my whole life. I said, what the fuck was that? Like, I fucking.

SPEAKER_06 20:06

Those are the good sets.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

I was embarrassed as hell. I was like, how the fuck did I do that? Like, I'm usually a fucking good dude when it comes to that. I ain't never did a belly flop like that. That was like my first one. That set was so bad it had you reconsidering your choices. I was sitting there like, is comedy really my thing? Like, should I just stick to working?

SPEAKER_06 20:21

Damn, that's I guess that's dead. I was gonna smoke weed. Uh, dude, that's fucking funny. That set was so bad, you're like, do I even want to do this? Maybe I should just do motivational speaking or something. Damn.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

I'm about to get a second job. I was like, fucking, I'm done with comedy.

SPEAKER_06 20:36

Dude, this is a game. Okay, so this is it. I don't know that much about you, but this is a game I play on this fucking podcast. Is that because everyone I interview, like none of us are fucking living off of comedy. Not yet. Nah, hell no. Not yet, right? I mean, it's it's cost me way more money than I've ever made on it. Uh, but I'm also new, so but I only got paid for like one fucking show.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

Yeah. It's like fucking. He told me I was getting paid $120 and then uh nigga gave me $60. Like, yeah, bro, that's uh that's what we made at the door. I was like, y'all niggas owe me $60 more dollars, bro. Yeah. So now I know if I've if I'm getting paid for a set, nigga, I would get paid up front. Like that's or that's just the cost of dealing with niggas. It was black. Nigga gave me a fucking some wings and shit. I was like, he gave himself 50% off your price.

SPEAKER_06 21:21

That's funny as fuck.

SPEAKER_04 21:23

I was like, damn. Damn, that does suck.

SPEAKER_06 21:25

No, uh, okay, alright. So alright, you live in the city. Yeah. I don't know shit about you got a you got a kid. I don't know anything about the kid.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Oh yeah, I got a daughter, uh she's two years old. Okay, so I had to fucking How old are you? I'm twenty eight twenty nine.

SPEAKER_06 21:41

Twenty nine, okay. So you're like closer my age. All right. But you're too you're fucking you're too silly. You're too silly to have a trade. Yeah, uh you're not a trademan.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

Uh a trade? What's a trade? You mean like a like a C D Ao, like a uh fucking uh laser fucking uh I'm a pipe fitter, so there's like electricians.

SPEAKER_06 22:00

Carpenters, floor layers.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Uh well, I uh got a certificate for carpentry back when I went to fucking job court. I was like, I don't know if it's still valid or not.

SPEAKER_06 22:08

Alright, so I'm gonna have my CDL as well. Okay, alright, so okay, so you got a CDL. I don't use don't give it away though. Don't give it away. Alright, so you got a CDL, so you thought about doing that shit. Um alright, then you can fuck it. I'm trying to figure out like what I do for work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to I'm trying to figure I'm trying to figure this out without you giving me it without giving it away. But like I don't know that much about you yet. But you're from the you're you're you live in the city, so I'm trying to think of like what jobs are around the city. And because I thought you were uh one of your riffs was a different comedian's riffs, now I'm like, well, no matter what I say, I gotta make sure it's not a racist job.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Oh no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Uh I actually enjoy uh racist people. Hey, what the fu I'm not racist, fuck you. Just don't hit me with the nigger, the nigga, then other than that, you could be as racist because I'm a laugh, I'm gonna go with you. I got some shit to ask.

SPEAKER_06 23:06

I'm trying, I'm trying to think of okay, so is it how long you been at the job?

SPEAKER_02 23:12

What, like 10 years?

SPEAKER_06 23:13

Ten years. Yeah, 10 years. Okay. You work day shift or night shift?

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Night shift.

SPEAKER_06 23:17

Night shift. Are you a machinist?

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Hell no.

unknown 23:23

Fuck.

SPEAKER_06 23:24

Hell no, too. Fuck. Oh, I'm way off then, huh? Yeah, you're fine. You're like a f night shift. You're bartender? There we go. Yeah, I work in the bar industry. Uh I was gonna say, you're too like you're you're you're silly and gleeful, and there's no there's no tradesmen that are fucking or like machinists that are like joyful.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

I worked out a fucking Chrysler. I was like married for like a week and I was like, this ain't my type of fucking work.

SPEAKER_06 23:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

And I fucking just walked out. I never looked back. Yeah. Uh not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing. I make good money where I'm at. Uh Floods Barn Grill, shout out to them. Uh come down there and see your boy. Where is it? Downtown Detroit, right across the street from Greek town. Oh, right on. One of the most popular, best so are you downtown Detroit?

SPEAKER_06 24:05

How are you two? Why do you how do you work two blocks away from the new building that I was talking about two minutes ago? And you're like, I don't even know where that's at. It was fucking two blocks away, bro.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

That's what I'm trying to picture. I'm like, I know they just built the the building I was talking about with the uh Apple store in there. Um they building so much shit down there, I can't keep up. Uh let me see.

SPEAKER_06 24:29

It's on uh it's it's just the it's the new building. I'm trying to think of what it's across from.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Uh yeah, like what's what's next to it? Like, he can't even barely.

SPEAKER_06 24:36

You're like, yeah, well, the Hudson, the Hudson, Avalon, um, the Cadillac. Like they're all like in the same area. The ham shop? You been to the ham shop?

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Yeah, okay, yeah. The ham shop is It's literally like a block away from right next door to ham shop is No, no, okay. The ham shop is across the street from Buffalo Wild Wings.

SPEAKER_06 24:56

Yeah. This building is literally right across the street from B Dubs.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

And forward in front?

SPEAKER_06 25:02

Yeah. Yeah, if you walk straight out the front building, you're it's it's directly across the street from B Dubs. You ever do that mic up there, by the way, on the on the top floor? Uh Buffalo Wild Wings, yeah. I went there one day.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Yeah, yeah. I went there one time.

SPEAKER_06 25:14

Yeah. How is that?

SPEAKER_02 25:15

Uh yeah, it was a nice crowd up there. Um do you know Mo?

SPEAKER_06 25:18

Do you know Mo Mo Yancey?

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Mo Yancey. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:21

Was that the Sud chick? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know her, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

Yeah. Yeah, I did with her, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:25

Yeah, she's funny as fuck. I love her, man. Yeah, yeah. We ran into her. Uh, she works at the airport. We ran into her when we were going to Florida and we're like, Mo! And I ran up and hugged her, and I don't think she knew who I was.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

I was like, Who the fuck is this white dude?

SPEAKER_06 25:34

She's like, Who's this dude hugging me? And then she said she said, afterwards, she said, 'I saw her, and I was like, Oh, that's who they are. I was like, it's funny as hell.' Yeah, that is funny.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Like, I mean, you do gotta remember like a lot of people. Like, sometimes, like, people like do a joke that stands out, and you be like, remember them, but like some people like you'll just like do a set with them, and you don't particularly remember them until like they'd be like, Hey, you remember that time?

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Yeah, like, you know what?

SPEAKER_06 25:55

Oh, you was right there. Yeah, so yeah, yeah. Well, we did the podcast together, and she she had a fucking she had a clip go viral on our podcast because she was talking about how she was a cuck for a gay couple. Like, she used to live with a gay dude, and uh her and the gay dude would like sit and go through grinder and find some dude for him to bang. Oh, shit and then she would watch, she would watch them bang. Oh, I was like, hold on, explain this to me because why like what is what is there that you're into? Because you're gay.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Right. Like, what why do you want to see that?

SPEAKER_06 26:25

Why do you want to see that? Yeah, like that would do as much for you as it would do for me. Like, look at all this dick and man butt you don't want. You know what I mean? Like, that's I got no interest in what you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Did you actually did she ever join?

SPEAKER_06 26:36

No, she never no, no, she never joined, but she would sit there and watch, and she said Did she like play with the rolls or anything?

SPEAKER_02 26:41

Or she just watched?

SPEAKER_06 26:42

No, she didn't no, she said she just watched, like, for fun. And then she'd be like, She said that like one time there was a there was a whole bunch of the dudes, a whole bunch of dudes showed up, and they were all jerking each other off, like standing in a circle, beating each other's meat.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

That's like the gayest fucking circle I can.

SPEAKER_06 26:57

Right, which for those guys is like fucking the best, right? Wow. And uh I'm not into that's not at all what I'm into. That's not what my life is like at all.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

So you're telling me her pussy didn't get not a lick a wet of watching dudes fucking.

SPEAKER_06 27:09

Do you think I was asking Mo's?

SPEAKER_01 27:10

I would have been that I would have been curious because like, why do you want to watch?

SPEAKER_06 27:13

That's what I well, that's what I said to her. I was like, what are you getting out of here? Look at all this dick you don't want. What are you doing there? And she said, Well, sometimes I get bored and I'm like, go get a snack. I'm like, bitch, you hold on.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

You're gonna go from watching like eight dudes jerk each other off to She telling me she ain't fucking rub her nipple, not one time, not finger herself. No one time.

SPEAKER_06 27:32

She sat there and just like I think she just made her way through all of Netflix and she was like, I guess I'll watch my neighbor do this. Or my or my roommate. I don't know, dude. I have no idea. I it may if you watch that clip that has like a few million views, and if you watch it, my face the whole time is just like because I just can't understand it.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Yeah, that's fucking shocking. Like, I'm like, what the fuck are you? Is that gay to watch?

unknown 27:58

Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

I don't know how like the stud should work, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 28:03

So like dude, how come the like the so once in a while you'll meet a stud who is like so pretty and you're like, what? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Trust me. I didn't see the stud. Bitch was gorgeous. And I was sitting there like, you sure you gay?

SPEAKER_06 28:19

Yeah. Like, you ain't got it's the weirdest thing, isn't it? It's like, oh, you're like, if you took off the big ass new era hat, you'd be like one of the prettiest chicks I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

And this is me, like, all studs are like shaped the same.

SPEAKER_06 28:34

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Like, they got like that, like I can't explain, like they bodies just like all the same. If you skinny, you just like fucking just flat, no booty. And if you like bigger, you like fucking got like that little round booty. Like they all look the same to me. Like they all got the same size. Or maybe I'll just be looking too hard.

SPEAKER_06 28:51

I think you're looking too hard. I think you're I think you're like staring at him like I could I could flip that one. I would I could get her back. I could get her back for the boys.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Bring her back to reality.

SPEAKER_06 29:00

Bring her back to reality.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

Like, that's some untreated goat right there. We need that shit.

SPEAKER_06 29:07

Dude, I was talking so okay. So I found out one of my I found out an apprentice that was working for me or with me uh was gay. And in the trades, that's pretty rare. Not that like we're all like, ugh, get him out of here. No one's no one is like that.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Like everyone thinks that he got some pipe, he was trying to lay hood. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:26

Every everybody thinks uh construction guys are like these brash douchebags who like are ignorant. It's not how it is at all. But we so we found out that dude, we found out that he was gay because he popped up in one of our like Facebook feeds and it was like people you may know. So what I don't remember who it was, but we clicked on him and it was like, oh, he's married to a guy. We're like, what? He is like, no way. That's fucking we wouldn't have thought. So for the entire next day, we played I'm coming out on the radio.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

I'm coming out.

SPEAKER_06 29:54

I want the world too. No, we played it until he had to address it. He's like, you assholes. He's like, How did you find out? Right? So, but uh, oh fuck, I lost my train of thought.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Yeah, about uh oh no being gay and uh y'all playing the gay music and he left. Playing the gay music.

unknown 30:11

Oh wait, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 30:12

Oh, damn it, I lost my train of thought. Oh, oh, oh, oh, this is what I was gonna say. Okay, so he goes, uh, I go, all right, you're I was like, I don't have a I don't I have like a couple of gay friends that I'm like barely friends with, right? So I'm like, you're like me and you are boys, so now you are my authority on all things gay. And he's like, okay, there that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

I have a gay best friend. Like, I personally don't feel like you straight if you don't like fucking hang with a gay dude or know a gay dude. Like right. Because gay dudes are cool. I like them niggas. He's cool like that. He's cool. No, hello, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:43

He's cool as fuck. I he's he's a really good dude. So I was like, all right, you're my authority on all things gay. So I'd like come to him with random questions, like, all right, if you get in a fight, like you know what I mean? Like, I'm just asking like relationship questions. And he's like, at one point, he's like, dude, it's like every other relationship. It's just dudes instead of like a dude and a girl. And then and then I go, uh, I go, uh, like I've heard of like gold star lesbians, right? Like teach me because I don't know if gold star lesbian. I was like a gold, you know, a gold star lesbian is like a lesbian that's never slept with a guy. Uh-uh. And he goes, Oh yeah, there's gay, there's gold star. There's gold star uh guys. Purgits. The uh the gold star lesbians, they've never slept with a dude. And he's like, oh yeah, there's there's gold star gay men who have never slept with a woman, but then there's platinum gay dudes. I was like, platinum gay dudes? He goes, Yeah, they've never touched a pussy at all. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, they were born by C-section. So they've lit literally never touched a pussy. Damn. Ever. And I was like, this is fucking hilarious. That is, that is.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

That's a good one right there. Don't even know what the motherfucker feels like. He took the shortcut.

SPEAKER_06 31:53

He took the you took the window exit instead of the front door. This motherfucker jumped out the window. Oh, dude, that's funny. Jumped out of the sink.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

What's the blackest thing you ever did?

SPEAKER_06 32:04

Um I almost said get my shoes at Ross, but I but hold on, hold on. Uh I mean I go to fucking Foreman Mills all the time. I love that place.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

That's I mean, that's that's a typical white place to go.

SPEAKER_06 32:23

White, yes, like that's cheap. Y'all like white people are like y'all like cheapest. Bro, every single time I go to Foreman Mills, at least three black people ask me where something is in the store, and I'm like, bitch, I don't work here. I'm shopping. They just fuck it with you. I'd be excited. What's the blackest thing I ever did? Alright. What was the whitest thing you ever did? I'm gonna reverse you.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Oh shit, I don't do white shit. The whitest thing I can say I did was probably drink a fucking coffee. Uh what? I don't I don't fucking condone my white activities. Uh I don't know. Uh I got I did a bump one time. You did a bump?

SPEAKER_06 33:02

Yeah, uh, I was hanging with some white people. Of Coke? Yeah. Fuck that, dude. That's so scary right now with fentanyl. Yeah, hey. How long ago was this?

SPEAKER_02 33:09

This was probably like two years ago.

SPEAKER_06 33:12

Did you like it?

SPEAKER_02 33:13

No, hell no, I never tried it again. Um I only did it because I was pre-pressed. Like all the fucking white people I hung out with, they was like, oh yeah, just take it, man. You're being a pussy. You know, yeah. Pre-pressure, bad motherfucker. And I was sitting there, hey, fuck it. We was all drunk anyways, and I just did it. I disappeared after that. I left. I was like, ah, that's that white shit. You didn't like how you felt? I didn't even get to the fucking feeling. I instantly left and went home. So I can't even tell you how the fucking feeling was. Yeah, fuck that. I wouldn't. They was calling the fucking like, where'd you go, dude?

SPEAKER_06 33:40

I'm like, that's what all your white friends said.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

The drugs, come on, bro. Yeah. Where'd you go? Where'd you go, my brother?

SPEAKER_02 33:47

The white hit me like, brother, where'd you go?

SPEAKER_06 33:52

I wish I wish I wish Craig wouldn't lock them. I would call this nigga for y'all. I was gonna say, what's the what's the blackest thing I ever did? Went to jail for a weekend.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

Alright, that was good. Oh, yeah, trust me. I went to jail for seven days, never again. Where were you at? Uh I went to Dickerson. I don't know if Dickerson's still open. I don't know where that one's. Yeah, that's uh it's like off the base of Ham Tramic at back of Ham Tramic. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 34:16

It's like a uh I'm not real versed in the jails. I went to OCJ for three days. That was enough.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

That's just a holding too. Like shit.

SPEAKER_06 34:23

Oh, dude, I was in a I was in a room this size with 40 other men because there was no other cells. I had to shit the whole time and I was like, I'm not about to ruin it.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

That's the fucking worst.

SPEAKER_06 34:31

I was like, I'm not gonna let any, I'm not gonna ruin anyone else's fucking weekend any more than it is because there is 40 of us and two fucking toilets.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

I am about to blow this motherfucker away. Like, hey, I couldn't hold, I held it up for two hours, nigga. It's coming out. Yeah, go lean against the fence and put y'all nose out there.

SPEAKER_06 34:52

Dude.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

Yeah, no, I I'm a shitter too.

SPEAKER_06 34:55

I almost got jumped when I was in there.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Damn, you must be in fucking hell. What'd you say?

SPEAKER_06 34:58

I didn't even do anything. I'm a nice guy, dude. This fucking white boy, what you in here for, fucking white colour crimes. Literally. Okay, so what happened is that an old timer fucking got pulled out of the cell. Yeah. And I was like, all right, sick. That spot on the bench is open. I'm gonna get up on that bench and lay down. So I got up on the bench and fucking went to sleep. I woke up and like three dudes were standing over me. Like, you about to give your spot up for Unk or what? And I was like, what? I'm like, I don't even know where I'm at because I was sleeping. And uh woke up and forgot he was locked up. Yeah, they were gonna fucking they were gonna jump me over. I was like, dude, just ask me. I'll get like the dude's like 65. For sure. I'm gonna give him this. Hell no, nigga.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

We all locked up. Nigga, I ain't got no fucking.

SPEAKER_06 35:35

I'm a nice dude.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

Courtesy for you right now.

SPEAKER_06 35:36

Nah, I got courtesy for the old timer. Okay, I'll sit on the ground. But I was like 29 or 28 years old.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

I wouldn't even give up my fucking seat for an old white lady on a bus.

SPEAKER_06 35:46

You just like staring her in the face, Rosa.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Uh-huh. Hey, it's our time now.

SPEAKER_06 35:51

Rosa.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

The back. You better go find a seat.

SPEAKER_06 35:54

Yeah. Go find yourself a fucking seat. Yeah, but they were, they were, they were fucking. I'm like, bro, did you even like just ask, man? What the fuck are you gonna jump me for? Just fucking say something. I'll sit back on the ground. I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

I didn't give. Fuck that. Like, nigga, what y'all gonna do? You gonna give me your food? Your snack? Nigga, we gotta trade.

SPEAKER_06 36:12

I didn't even want the fucking food. That's that shit sucked. They're like, you got eight minutes to eat. Here's a frozen orange juice.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Damn, eight minutes?

SPEAKER_06 36:20

I'm making shit about it.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Damn.

SPEAKER_05 36:23

You did fucking twice as much time as I did. You did a week. Everything they give you is fucking half frozen.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

No, see, I was locked up where we got like actually meals. Like we got like the little trays, we had to walk in the little lines and shit. I was locked up like that.

SPEAKER_05 36:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:37

Like we was like our little pod, it was like fucking four people to a pod, and like our cots was like this to each other. You got all that and you were only there for a week? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you go to Dickerson Hill, yeah. That was fucking Dickerson for you.

unknown 36:49

Huh?

SPEAKER_02 36:49

We were fucking in there.

SPEAKER_06 36:50

Man, if I'm ever arrested. Yeah, that nigga know. I gotta make sure it happens in Ham Dramack and not in fucking.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

No, no matter where you get locked up. If you get locked up in Wayne, they're gonna send you to mile. That's the famous Not Tory Holden sale. And then if you got like a jail time worth going down to Dickerson, you go into Dickerson. If you got something like a felony, you go in wherever the fuck you'll go.

SPEAKER_06 37:09

You got sentenced then. Yeah, I got sentenced. Okay, so you got sentenced to a week in jail.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

Yeah, I got a week. Thank God.

SPEAKER_06 37:14

Hey, how do you like a traffic thing? No, I had a gun. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

That was a good. They gave me seven days time to fucking hide a with it. So I was like, I take that.

SPEAKER_06 37:25

You had a so we you would they they charge you with possession without it, wasn't it registered or whatever? Uh no, I wasn't registered. It was Dude, that's like a five-year felony, and they fucking give you a week. That's why I love that. I would have took the fuck out of that plea deal. My God. Dude, Bill Burr's got an old bit about this. You ever watch Bill Burr?

SPEAKER_02 37:43

Uh, that's the white old comedian, right?

unknown 37:44

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

I stopped listening to him because he he said a joke. I can't remember the fucking joke. He pissed me off so bad. I was like, who the fuck this guy think he is? And I never listened to that nigga ever again, but I'm gonna try to find a joke and I'm gonna send it to you, bro. I promise you. Like, he pissed me off so bad, and I'll sit there and like.

SPEAKER_06 38:04

So good. How can you hate on him?

SPEAKER_02 38:05

I ain't hating on him.

SPEAKER_06 38:06

Are you sure you're thinking of the right guy? Because I'm gonna be like, Yeah, this is skinny.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

He got the bald head with the fucking beard.

SPEAKER_06 38:11

Red beard. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

I know Bill Blur. Okay. Fucking dickhead.

SPEAKER_06 38:14

So Bill uh Bill Burr's got this joke about like you gotta hang out with everybody. Like, you gotta hang out with everybody. He's like, he's like, he started his girlfriend, which is his wife now, but his girlfriend, he's like, I gotta, my girlfriend's black. Every time she gets out of the shower, she douses herself with lotion, like jumps in a fucking oil drum of it every time she showers, and she's like, he's like, Why do you do that? You know, that's exactly how you sound too.

SPEAKER_05 38:37

He's like, Why do you do that?

SPEAKER_06 38:38

And she's like, You're you get dry skin, you gotta lotion up. He's like, I don't get dry skin, you get dry skin, you I don't have and then she drags her nails across his arm, and just like a cloud of smoke was like bellowing up. He's like, I just thought I had to change my towel. But it but his joke about uh he's like, you know, you gotta hang out with everybody. He's like, he's like, black people, you know, white guys, you gotta lotion everything, right? There's a reason, like the your dick looks brand new. It's the only thing you use a lotion on. There's a reason. And then he's like, black people, register your guns. He's like, it's a mandatory five years. Just register it.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

That's exactly how he sounds. That's kind of funny, though.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

I he sounds exactly like that. So who's your top five or top three favorite comedians? Top three? Top three.

SPEAKER_06 39:20

Oh man. Um, I love Louis C.K. Louis C.K. Louis C.K. is the dude that got in trouble for jerking off in front of girls. He got canceled, but he's like an older dude, right?

SPEAKER_02 39:31

Like Lil Chubby.

SPEAKER_06 39:32

Yeah, he's a fat guy. Always wears a black t-shirt, red goatee. Okay, yeah, but I know you. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

I don't be knowing their names exactly.

SPEAKER_06 39:37

Yeah, yeah. So Louis C.K. is probably my number one. I think he's the funniest guy. Um Bill Burr's up there. Bilburr's on the Bilburr. God, I don't know, fucking cat. Probably Cat. So Bilbur, Louis C.K. and Kat, probably.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Let me see. I'm gonna have to go Lavelle Crawford. Fuck yeah. Deja Pel. Yeah. And fucking uh what the fuck is his name? What's the uh he just uh hosted the uh the uh Kevin Hart fucking uh Shane Gillis Shane Gillis? Dude, that joke he had.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

I love it. My God.

SPEAKER_06 40:14

He was like Kevin Hart's little ass. We're gonna have to lynch him from a bonsai tree. I was like, oh my god, dude. I couldn't believe they fucking said that. He's like, dude, we know we know how fucked up the word lynch is, but the word bonsai is so funny. We still had to do the joke.

SPEAKER_02 40:32

I I fuck with him. Like, yeah, at first I was like, this nigga's retarded.

SPEAKER_06 40:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:35

Like looking at hi is he was like, oh, okay, he's off the spectrum. He's like barely making it. But yeah, no, them them my top three. I love, I love dude. Shane Gills kills me. Yeah, he's funny. If I go top five, I would say I will put uh Mike Epps in top five.

SPEAKER_06 40:50

Mike Epps is on I think Mike Epps is underrated. I think he should be part of the grades, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

And uh it's this fucking Mexican dude or Latino, whatever the fuck he is. I'm not fucking you a race. I know if you ain't fucking black, you fucking something. I don't know this nigga name. He like I can't even think of fucking I'm fine, nigga. I'm just gonna be.

SPEAKER_06 41:12

Do you think of any of his jokes? Is that what Mexican dude? Ralph Barbosa. The real dry, the real dry guy. New kid. How old is he? How old is this dude you're talking about?

SPEAKER_02 41:25

Shit, that nigga like fucking 30? I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 41:27

It's probably Ralph Barbosa.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

He did a joke about fucking uh short hair or long hair? He's from New York. He got short hair.

SPEAKER_06 41:34

It's it's probably Ralph. I think Ralph Barbosa is from the couple of things. He's kinda he's he's kind of got like a Caesar cut.

SPEAKER_02 41:42

What the fuck is a Caesar cut?

SPEAKER_06 41:43

Like where his hairline's like shoot short, but not like not like buttons. Just Google him. Just Google, you got your phone. Ralph Babosa. He's he's funny, man.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

I don't know how to spell Barbosa.

SPEAKER_06 41:58

Bar. B-A-R-B-O-S-A, I think.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

No, not this nigga. This nigga ain't funny. Okay. This nigga is not funny. I don't know. Like, that's a you know, that's how it is a lot of people, like, yeah, I mean, because like doing stand-up, you really have to have like the confidence in a boss because like it takes a lot. Like, you can look at a motherfucker and talk to a motherfucker and make a motherfucker laugh, but when you're talking to like a group of people, it's like more intense and a little more harder to keep like everybody entered entertained or laughing. Yeah. Um, and like I feel like that about myself. Like, yeah, I mean, if I'm looking around, I see ain't nobody laughing. You also gotta have a fucking shirtcut. Yeah. Racist jokes. Like, them are like fucking tummy ticklers to everybody. Like, who don't fucking like a racist joke? What's your favorite racist joke? Uh I don't think I got a favorite racist joke. I just uh whenever whenever I'm doing a crowd, it's white people in there. Like they're not laughing at my jokes. I just started talking shit about white people.

SPEAKER_06 42:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Uh so I don't really like have a favorite white racist joke.

SPEAKER_06 43:02

Dude, I don't I don't remember who said it, but someone said that white people smell like wet towels, and that fucking killed me. I don't remember who said it, but that fucking took me out.

SPEAKER_02 43:12

Like, no. You know who we gotta start talking shit about? The fucking Chinese people. They don't get it as enough. Like, do you know any like fucking Chinese comics? Not Chinese. No, no, no. Yeah, I don't really hear too many Chinese jokes, and I'd be thinking like, yeah, what the fuck do Chinese people listen in their cars anyway?

SPEAKER_06 43:30

See, I'm not good, I'm not good at differentiating like the different Asian types of people.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

You know what I mean? Yeah, neither. Like you fucking Chinese. I don't know, Japanese, fucking Vietnamese, Chinese. Ease. Something ease.

SPEAKER_06 43:41

All of the ease. Except for the Ians, the key Koreans and the Yeah, yeah, something nigga. Yeah, I don't uh I'm I'm terrible at differentiating, so I don't want to say that I know anyone. I'm gonna be like, oh yeah, I got my one buddy who's an Asian comic, and he's gonna text me like you fucking douchebag. I'm from Japan. I'm gonna feel like a dirtbag. Anime? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

I don't know. Shit. That's what you that's how you can differate them. You ask them like, do you watch anime? And they say no. You're not Jap Japan. Japan, what the fuck? Uh you're not from Japan. Yeah, Japanese, whatever, right? I'm like you. I don't fucking see. I would have never knew you were fucking Arabic. I thought you were pure white cocaine.

SPEAKER_06 44:21

I'm a quarter. I'm 25% Lebanese. And then I'm like a bunch of other shit. Like Leban, uh English, Irish, French, Italian. Fucking all the.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

Your great-great-grandparents was fucking some black? You got a little black?

SPEAKER_06 44:33

I got like 3% black. So I can say, mm-hmm. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 44:35

That's as far as I can get into the word. I can go, mm. Alright, hurry. I got 3% of it. I would like to think I'm 100% nigga, but you know. You ever do one of those 23MEs? Fuck with that. The the DNA tests.

unknown 44:49

No. No.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

Actually, that's some white shit. Black people ain't looking for no fucking art heritage.

SPEAKER_06 44:54

What do you mean? Bullshit, dude. Bullshit. I could call like three different black people right now, and they'll be like, dude, I found out that I'm fucking Hawaiian. And then it becomes half their personality. Are they white black people or are they like niggas?

SPEAKER_02 45:09

I can't answer that question, sir. You know, like a fucking, you know, like a nigga.

SPEAKER_06 45:16

I know what you mean. They are not suburbia black people raised by white motherfuckers. No, they are they are Detroit. They're real blacks.

SPEAKER_02 45:27

Alright. Because like I never thought the fucking thing, like, what is my DNA heritage? Like, shit, I know shit. They some of my ancestors probably got raped above the line, but like I don't like to think they didn't have kids. Think it was just like a one-night stance?

SPEAKER_06 45:40

Like, is it a shout out to one night stands? Yeah, I don't know. Do you know what like what country your heritage is from? Like, because it's like, oh, I'm black, but it's like I would like to say America. But it's not though.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Ah, because you're not native.

SPEAKER_06 45:59

No, no. I mean, but like, if you got like a DNA test, like it would it be I I mean, I don't know. I mean I'm gonna say this. Start naming countries in Africa, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Like, I don't as far as I'm concerned, I don't know nobody generations ahead of me that left outside of America. So shit. Who knows? Yeah. Everybody I know is from fucking America, Detroit, Ohio. That's it.

SPEAKER_06 46:21

Yeah. That's so weird to me because like my my like my grandpa is from Lebanon, you know what I mean? And then my grandparents are English and Irish and Grandparents are great.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

Like is it a grandparents or grandparents?

SPEAKER_06 46:32

Grandparents, my like my grandpa, my grandparents are the first generation here. So, you know, like my mom and is second generation, third generation, like I'm third generation. So like so like they're like my grandpa's Lebanese and and and his stepmom was I I don't know if he's Iraqi or if it's I don't think he's Iraqi. I think he's just 100% Lebanese. But like it's weird to me when like there's like families are like, oh yeah, my lineage goes back 500 years and it's all here.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

I'm like, uh fucking, we don't know any of our relatives, bro. Hey, I'm in the same boat. I don't like nigga. You will, I mean, like I say, white people are good at keeping fucking antique shit. Like, yeah, I mean, like, black people can't keep no antique shit because we also get evicted or some shit. So like we can't fucking keep shit that's gonna remind us of shit fucking before our times. Like, our shit on the curve somewhere.

SPEAKER_06 47:28

I feel like we should just go. I want to let's just go back and forth. What's the whitest shit you've done with the blackest shit that I've done? Because this is like this is what this whole podcast is gonna be about. I love it. All right, I got like several repos. That's the my Chevy Traverse got repoed. That's the blackest fuck.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

See, man, you know what? Like, well, every car I ever owned, it was like I fully owned it. Like, yeah, I also I'm not into like fucking financing. Financing. That's that's white people's shit. Like, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't just buy it. It's not, it's just I don't have tens of thousands of dollars. And uh and it's funny, every every every time I go out of town, my rental get fucking uh repo, not repoled, fucking towed. Like towed? Yeah, get towed. Like I'm an ignorant nigga. I'd park wherever the fuck I park in Detroit. You'll see my truck parked on the street.

SPEAKER_06 48:19

How many times does that have to happen for you to fucking go, oh, I should probably park in a spot.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

Man, when you're trying to fucking party and ain't no spots, like I'm not the type of person that's gonna ride around looking for a spot. I'm gonna park this bitch and I'm gonna get the fuck out.

SPEAKER_06 48:31

Dude, that is I okay, this is a cultural difference no one talks about. Because I tell you what, like, I would like if I see like a handicapped spot, I feel like I'm on fire if I park near it. Parking it. I'm like, I'm parking 100 feet away from it. And you're like, That's my spot. You're parking right in it.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

I'm walking right out normally.

SPEAKER_06 48:50

Then some dude in a fucking electric wheelchair pulls up, it's got nowhere to park. You're like, fuck him.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

Hey, nigga, you should have got here first. If I call anybody my phone and I ask them where do I park at? And they say, nigga, you'll park inside the building if you could.

SPEAKER_06 49:05

I will park that bitch at the door. The only time I park like an asshole is if I'm on my bike. I'll park my bike right on the sidewalk.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Yeah, I mean, yeah. Like if I'm like, squeeze in anywhere.

SPEAKER_06 49:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll park in between cars. I don't give a fuck. Like on my bike, you know. I was like if I go to the gym, if I go to the gym, there's a sidewalk in the front of the gym, I'll park right on the sidewalk. Why why am I gonna park fucking in the parking lot, you know, 500 feet away when this bike is right there.

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Ain't nobody gonna fuck with it either. Yeah. So but the the worst place I ever got my car towed, I think we were in Houston. That was like the fucking, that was the worst. Like me and my girl literally, we parked in. On vacation down there? Huh? On vacation down there? Yeah, we yeah, we was out of town having and we was enjoying ourselves near her.

SPEAKER_09 49:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

Uh I parked on the corner. It said no parking, but I still parked there. And it was like fucking tow trucks, just like lined up. But I didn't pay attention to them until I seen them come out the little cut. I was like, somebody shit about to get towed. I wouldn't have paid no attention. They picked up, they swooped our shit so fast, and I went out there jogging to it.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

I jumped on the fucking tow truck like, bro, I'll pay you just like fucking just dropped the car. This nigga pulled out a Dillinger. I had to jump off the fucking truck. Like, that was like the worst. Oh, he's then they towed our shit all the way on the other side of town. Like, it was like literally like an hour to get there. Oh my god. So you got an Uber all the way there? Man, like the Uber was so fucking crazy. Then when we got there, that's why I invested in the credit card. Shout out to fucking Navy Federal. Shout out to fucking Kevin. Because they the cars that we had, they did not take. And we didn't have no cash on us. So we was like fucked. We was calling a dude. Because we got our car, we got to get our car off Turo. Shout out to Turo. I like their cars. They be having some nice shit on there.

SPEAKER_05 50:40

Brought to you by Turo.

SPEAKER_06 50:42

And every car. Trying to get a sponsorship. Hey, seven people saw this, bro. You owe me a dollar.

SPEAKER_02 50:49

75 cents. I'll take it. What's that? Well, yeah, like they also got some nice cars on there. Um, and we calling this nigga, it's a nigga, of course. And we like, yeah, the car got uh fucking towed. So, like, how do we go about getting it back? He's like, Well, that's your problem. And I don't think, like, no, nigga, that's your problem, because I will fucking leave.

SPEAKER_06 51:05

Like, nigga, wait, does he, is it like a guy who owns the car? Yeah, it's a Toro. It's like Airbnb for cars, right? Uh-huh. Damn, so what did you what did you borrow from him?

SPEAKER_02 51:14

Uh, we had a 2017 Mustang, 5.0.

SPEAKER_06 51:18

And you got it towed. And you and you're calling the owner, like, hey man, it got towed.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

And that nigga said it was our problem. And I was sitting there thinking, like, if we don't get this car shit, we back to the city because our fucking account, Toro account was connected to our cash app. So shit, it was like bucket. You're gonna lose out.

SPEAKER_09 51:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

Shit. So but we end up uh getting it, we end up uh fucking have to go like fucking uh a lot of places to fucking get some cash here and there, and we end up getting the car. What did it cost you to get it out? It was cheap, it was like $200.

SPEAKER_06 51:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:44

And they had it for like fucking four or five hours.

SPEAKER_06 51:48

Yeah, that's not that bad. Dude, when I was so you know where Warren Truck is?

SPEAKER_02 51:52

Uh A mile?

SPEAKER_06 51:54

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So Warren Truck, I was doing a job I was working a job at Warren Truck, and they were starting to get pissed about all the trades guys parking in the employee parking lot.

SPEAKER_02 52:02

Yeah, so dead cats Warren Trucks.

unknown 52:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:06

Yeah, they are. I had an incident with them as well.

SPEAKER_06 52:09

They were getting pissed off about all the trades guys parking in the employee parking lot because they were having to park across the street across eight miles. Yeah, early. Right, fuck them, right? But they started towing people that we're not employee.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

These niggas are tow truck drivers. How the fuck are they towing cars?

SPEAKER_06 52:24

Well, they hired a they hired a tow truck company. So you go down eight mile, there's a random dirt road fucking alleyway. That's some dickheads. That's where they were dropping our cars off. And we're like, what the fuck, dude? How are you gonna tow my shit from a job that you want me to show up to? So they were and one of my buddies got his shit towed, and when I drove him to go pick it up, they were like $400 to get your car out. He's like, How about I just shoot you in your fucking head? Oh, damn. He's like, You fucking $400, go fuck yourself. You drove it a quarter mile and you stole the shit from me. I'm not paying you. He's like, I'm not paying you shit. He just started walking to his truck. They're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. He's like, keep fucking following me. Keep following me. I'm gonna fucking shoot you. You just take my fucking car and decide that it cost me $400 to get my shit back. Fuck you. I would have slashed every fucking tire in Warren. Oh, dude. It was bullshit. It was like, and the dude, and then we found out that the the dude driving the tow truck driver, his old lady was a security guard who was calling on everyone's cars. I'm like, oh, so you guys are lying in your fucking pockets. Uh-huh. We're here doing a fucking job, and you you're stealing our fucking cars and be like, you owe me 400 bucks. My ass. Fuck you. I owe you 400 bucks. I'm gonna shoot you in your fucking head. Do you consider yourself an OG? That's an age thing, right? I'm 32, so no. I'm I'm considering OG.

SPEAKER_02 53:38

Like, OG don't necessarily consider that like an age thing. It's like, you know what I mean? Like the times you grew up, like the things you witnessed, shit like that. Like, do you got do you keep a blade on you?

SPEAKER_06 53:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:48

See, in the black heritage, that's some OG shit. You'll all OGs keep a blade on them. Like, yeah, I mean, like, it's like our secondary pistol.

SPEAKER_06 53:55

OG though. Like, I feel like when I talk if if someone's saying OG, I'm thinking like, where's the dude who's like 40 is?

SPEAKER_00 54:01

Oh nah, nigga, that don't make you.

SPEAKER_06 54:02

Who's the dude that's like, when someone's like, hey, what do you guys want to listen to? And he's like, Two live crew, that guy. That's an old head. Oh, that's an old head? That's an old head. See, this is not so okay. This is not, I'm not even this is stolen valor on my part right now, because this is not how I talk. But alright, so there's there's Unk. Uh-huh. Okay, old head is the oldest, right? So that's dude's in their like 50s and up.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

Yeah, you yeah, old head.

SPEAKER_06 54:25

And then Unk is like what 40s to 50s?

SPEAKER_02 54:28

No, Unk, you like New Age. You like 28, 29, this area. Unk? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 54:35

I thought Unk was older than OG.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

You a crackhead.

SPEAKER_06 54:38

I thought Unk was older than OG, though.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

No, no, no. I mean, like I say, it's not an age thing.

SPEAKER_06 54:42

I thought it was straight up an age thing.

SPEAKER_02 54:44

No, no, it's not an age thing. It's just like, it's just like it's like more of a category.

SPEAKER_06 54:47

Like an attitude thing. Like a like how you are.

SPEAKER_02 54:53

Like, like if you take care of niggas that ain't your kin and shit, you you consider the OG, like you provide for motherfuckers. Yeah. Uh uh.

SPEAKER_06 55:02

I mean, uh I'm dude. I'm gonna make a shirt that says OG, and then underneath it's gonna say, I provide for motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_02 55:09

Uh yeah, that that that'll get you. That's a real OG right there. So yeah, man.

SPEAKER_06 55:15

That's hilarious. But you know, terms of the. And then what is that? There's there's uh YN's?

SPEAKER_02 55:20

Yeah, that's them young niggas.

SPEAKER_06 55:22

That's the That's the kids, right? 20 year olds. Everybody born after the 90s. Yeah. That's Y N's. Everybody born after the NYNs. Is there another word for like the real young kids though? Or is that they fall under the YN?

SPEAKER_02 55:34

Them niggas is Y is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:36

How is that all of them? Is that you got the old heads, unks, OGs, Y's? That's it?

SPEAKER_03 55:45

Man.

SPEAKER_06 55:45

Look at me learning. Yeah, look at me learning and shit. Oh. That's fucking. Hey, you learn something every day. Man, I you're kind of blowing my mind right now because I thought it was like all age.

SPEAKER_02 56:01

Nah, nah, age ain't got nothing to do with it. Like shit. Nigga, a lot of people don't fucking look, they age. Yeah. You know what I mean? So you'll be talking to away.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Look, how do I look? You already told me your age.

SPEAKER_02 56:15

I know that, but if I didn't tell you my age, how old would you would you how'd you I am so bad at it games? You would have called me a white?

SPEAKER_06 56:22

I would have thought you were like 20. I thought you I would have thought you were close to my age, maybe younger than me. So I would have thought you were like 25, 28. But you are 28, right?

SPEAKER_02 56:31

Yeah, see, like so that that's why ages don't deflect off of that because like nigga, you can be you can be fucking 21 looking like you fucking 35.

SPEAKER_06 56:39

Dude, that is the weirdest thing being on a job site is like there's dudes from every age from like 65 to like 18 years old. I got an 18-year-old apprentice working for me right now. I'm like, this is fucking weird. Like I got like get away from me, youngin'. Like, you got nothing to you got nothing to say to me. We got nothing in common, motherfucker. Dude, he so in the trades, in the trades, there's a there's apprentices and there's journeyman, right? So a journeyman is someone who's done the five years of schooling, knows the trade, whatever. Apprentices are learning the trade. I ain't targeted. And there's a I'm not saying it just to you, motherfucker. There's people listening. So there's uh, but there's a there's a stereotype, right? Like uh, or uh not a stereotype, there's a there's a culture thing, like apprentices don't pay. If you are my apprentice and we go out to eat, you're not buying. I'm buying, I'm buying your lunch. Because I make so much more money than other apprentice, right? And uh, I'll get you lunch. But uh, but so the apprentices don't pay. So I take out a pre-apprentice who is not even in the school part of it yet, he's just on the job site, like doing bitch work for yeah, they like that shit up. Yeah, hey, go get me some fucking, go get me some hardware, get me some tools, whatever the fuck I need, right? He's my bitch.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

Yeah, and then go give me a water.

SPEAKER_06 57:54

So we went out literally. So we we go out to lunch, and he's already there. And I'm like, oh, thanks for the invite, dickhead. You know, like we go to a restaurant, we go to the yard house or whatever, and I go, thanks for the invite, dickhead. He's like, Oh, I didn't know anyone wanted to go. And we sit down, it's me, the pre-apprentice, and two other journey, me and two other journeymen. And I look over, I'm like, what are you doing? I see him like tapping his card and it says 82 bucks, and he's tapping his card. I go, what are you doing? He's like, Oh, I was just paying. And she goes, and the bartender goes, Oh, he just paid for you all you guys. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, 80 to you just spent 82 bucks on lunch? And I wouldn't even fucking do it. I'm like, hey, what the fuck are you? Yeah. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, oh, I was just gonna buy. I'm like, you don't fucking do that. You're an apprentice. You don't pay. Not only do you not pay for yourself, you sure as fuck don't pay for three journeyman. See, I think that's like a white thing.

SPEAKER_03 58:42

I was like, you wanna fuck my wife? I this is what I did to him. I'm like, you wanna fuck my wife? Here, here, take my truck, go to my house and fuck my wife. You're gonna pay for my lunch? Dude, he was so car out of the line. I'm like, you motherfucker, you're gonna You wanna take over my life? You wanna call my you want my kids to call you dad? He was like, what the fuck, dude? I was just trying to be nice. I'm like, you're not nice in this fucking trade. See? You don't pay, I pay.

SPEAKER_01 59:07

See, that's white shit. Cause like, what the fuck? Black people was not volunteering to pay for fucking other people's shit. They do in the trade. They absolutely do in the trade. Cool. Fucking coons.

SPEAKER_02 59:18

Cause nigga, I'm not nigga, you better feed yourself, nigga. If you want to apprentice my ass.

SPEAKER_06 59:24

No, it's the tr it's the culture of the trades, man. You can't. I never been an apprentice or in like a your apprentice does not fucking pay. The thing is, like, literally, like, if you're making you're making 50 bucks an hour and some kid is making fucking 12 bucks an hour to work with you, that kid's not buying his own shit. He can barely get to work. You know what I mean? So that's that's the tr that's the culture, man.

SPEAKER_02 59:44

See, I only worked one corporate drop job out of my whole 29 years, and I was fucking DT. Fuck y'all. What do you what did you do there? I was a meter reader. I was like fucking.

SPEAKER_06 59:53

Oh, fuck you. Fuck them, no, fuck you. You fucking of their bullshit and just telling people, oh yeah, they got fucking all this. Why'd we build 300 bucks this month? Because this motherfucker didn't walk the yards like he was supposed to.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:04

Yeah, okay, I did. I did I have my moments. Everybody had their moments like that. When I tell you, like, that was like the fucking, I was like 18, making like fucking $2,500 a week. I fucking love that.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:13

But that's a good fucking job. You quit that job?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:16

I got fired. Okay. That was like the fucking making up readings. It was called curve stone it. That's like, yeah, I mean, like, the person before you that did the route, they'll put in some numbers and you would just copy them numbers down. It was curve stone it. But uh, yeah, I was fucking, I was, I was fooling. Like, uh, nigga, I started coming out in uniform, typical young nigga. I fucking was never on route. Like, I finished my route and go fuck with bitches. I also have a bitch in the truck. Like, nigga, one time the our safety uh guider, what the fuck was his name? He was like the person that comes out, make sure you had your uniform on, make sure you was on your route, make sure you was good, whatever. He called me one day. He was like, Oh yeah, I'm at your route. I was fucking way out, fucking trying to get some coochie. He like, yeah, I'm on your route and I'm looking for you. I don't see you, whatever. I'm like, oh yeah, I got a flat. I'm over here on uh he like just send me your uh location and I'm gonna come out there and I'm gonna help you out. Me, young and stupid, I don't know where the fuck to go. I'm like fucking nowhere near the route. Instead of fucking flattening the tires, I'm just like, he I gave him the address, he pull up, nigga, it's air in the tire, and I'm sitting there like, oh, I just put some air in there. I didn't need you. And he sitting there looking like, You bullshit. And the bitch, I didn't even tell the bitch to get out of the truck or nothing. He looking like, who's that in the truck? I'm like, oh, that's that's that's my girlfriend. He like, you know, you don't suppose to have nobody truck with you. I'm like, white dude, and of course he was, yeah. He jotted out on this note. Then as soon as I got back to the office, like it was like a whole bunch of white people in there I never saw. They were like, Mr. Perry, come to the uh office, we want to talk to you a little bit. And now my head, I was like, I'm getting fired.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:46

As soon as I walked in, they were like, Yeah, we want to talk to you about your route today. And I'm sitting out there just lying my ass off the whole time. The safety advisor was there the whole time, just like fucking like, where this nigga at?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:57

And I I got caught up in my lies. They fired the fuck out of me.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:00

Oh, yeah. I would have fired you too. Ah, damn.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:03

You fucking you got a thing to do and you're making a lot of money. Dude, $2,500 a week's a lot of money.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

It was I was fucking, I was living a fucking life as a teenager. That's a lot, that's a lot of fucking money, man. I thought I wish I would have fucking thought about credit cards and shit then. Like 2500. I was just blowing money. I didn't even drink liquor back then. I was just like buying hoes, weed. That's fucking that's gross or take home.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:24

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:25

That was take home. I was walking home with that.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:27

You're working how many, uh, how many hours are you working?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:30

Uh I was working like 80 hours? A little overtime here and there.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:34

80 hours is fucking that's that's a lot. Yeah, 80 hours is a lot. That's fucking 16 hours a day. Oh yeah, you're working 16 hours a day then?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:43

I was I was having a blast.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:44

But that's a lot of fucking dope. I don't I don't work that much to make that much money, but that's fucking, you know, that's good money though.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:51

18, I was fucking, I was fresh out of the house. You were 18 making that much money?

SPEAKER_06 1:02:54

Oh my god, I would have fucking ruined my life.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:57

He was pissed.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:58

I'm making 100 grand a year. I'm fucking ruining my life making a hundred grand a year at 18 years old. I would have been like, you know how everyone shit on Bieber for like crashing his Lambo and shit. He's like 19 years old, drunk. It's like, motherfucker, give me, give me five grand when I was 18, I would have destroyed my life. Trust me, you crashed a lot of cars.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:17

Give this motherfucker a hundred million dollars at 18 or whatever. And I was like a pussy fucking crackhead. Like all I wanted was a sniff of some pussy.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:23

What do you mean you were a pussy crackhead?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:25

Oh, you were an addict for pussy. I wanted all pussy. I was like, You're a silly motherfucker. Every bitch. Yeah. And I got money too. Like fucking, I was fucking 18 with two cars, like shit. Bitches love that. Like bitches catching a bus, I'll pull up. Damn. Get in. You know what? You can have that carpet a day. That's how fucking good I was living.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:41

Dude, there's a there's a dude that I work with. He's like, I fuck tens. I fuck tens. He's like 50 years old. He's fat tattoos and shit. And I was like, if you're fucking a 10. You're you're it's either hookers or you're fucking a five twice. You ain't fucking no tens. And he goes, and he goes, and he's like, he's like, he's showing me these chicks. I'm like, okay, they're like okay looking for being like 50 years old, but they're like, you could tell they're bar whores. They're his age, like you know what I mean? But you could tell they're bar skanks.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

Right, like, yeah, man.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:10

Show me a fucking fake tits and like Cory Larray bitch. This bitch is 50 years old, has an eyebrow piercing. That ain't a fucking ten. Fucking slut. This is this is this is sad. This is fucking this is bumming me up. Fuck aging like milk.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:28

So well, since you said Jokia's was mixed, like I'm guessing you black chick, you fucked a black chick? She was she's Indian.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:36

Yeah. She's Indian.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:38

Do Indian kind of black? No.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:41

No, no, no. It's Asian. She's Asian. Well, well, I guess on paper she's Asian, but she's dark. She's dark, she's like your you she's like your complexion.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:48

She'd get confused for being black.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:49

Yeah. And she was raised by like she was adopted. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:52

So because I was gonna ask you, are you gonna ask a black pussy?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:56

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:58

I never went for white girls. Like, that was never my thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:00

Paige is gonna hate this episode. Hey, I mean she uh so yes is the answer.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:09

Like okay, I did try a white girl one time, when I tell you, I did not get hard for her. I was just sitting there like maybe. Just run into it. Not my dad.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:21

I only had that I only had that happen to me one time with like a with a new chick. Had that happen to me one time. She it was because she was she was hairy.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:31

Ain't no bushes gonna stop. You ever threw a football and then fell in the bushes and you had to stick your arm in the bushes? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:37

This was not this was not just a bush issue.

unknown 1:05:40

Bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:40

Oh, body? Just whole body is everywhere. Say she you had to question what she identified as? Everywhere. She had a shaved head. Oh, yeah, whoa.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:50

She had a shaved head?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:52

We went to scene.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:53

Furry furry arm furry arm pits. Furry bush.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:57

Leg hair. Fucking happy trail. I was like, I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't fucking do it. And she and my fucking brother My brother blew me up. He said in front of her, he goes, you know, you know, he's not gonna be okay with this forever, right? And she's like, what does that mean? And I was like, shut the fuck up. And I got him to stop. And then she called me. Like, she was like, what would you what was what did he mean by that? I was like, fuck. What are your intentions with me? I was like, and I go, like, I'm and I was real delicate, nice about it. I goes, I was like, you know, I'm just attracted to like traditional girls, you know, like I like long hair, I like smooth skin, all that. And she goes, You're attracted to prepubescent girls. What? I'm like, what? You cut now you're saying I'm a pedophile because I don't want you to have furry arm. Oh, that's what that meant. Prepubescent? Yeah, prepubescent, like puberty. Like before it, like saying I'm attracted to children. Well, y'all didn't know. That's a new word. Probescent. You said all those letters wrong. Prepubescent. Before puberty. Okay. So she was saying I was a pedophile because I wanted her to not have armpit hair. I was like, bitch, what? You don't want to lay. I was like, thank you know what? Thank God I didn't get a boner for this bitch. Like, thank fucking God. Can you imagine if I got stuck with her? That's the kind of crazy you are? You think I'm a pedophile because I want you to not have a fur diaper?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:19

Man, listen, I know some niggas that would have still hit it. I couldn't wait. What's the boldest bitch you ever hit? Boldest? Boldest, like. In what way? Like, like just, huh, why am I doing this? Fuck it. Her? Well, I guess it didn't fuck her. Um.

unknown 1:07:34

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:36

Um. I I we and my ex me and my ex.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:47

I don't even know what to say. No, I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:49

My ex me and my ex hired her friend to watch our kids. And she so she watched, she was like our nanny during the workday for like a year. And when me and my ex broke up, I fucked her just to like to be bitter. Like to be a douchebag. Like I fucked, I fucked the babysitter to like get back at my ex. See, but that's how you fucked your friend.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:10

Bull. Like, okay, like, so my definition of bow, okay. I got two bold chicks I ever fucked. I'm not counting ugly. Yeah, you're gonna fuck an ugly bitcher, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:17

Wait, do you say bold means like what they look like? Because I thought like the move of me fucking them was bold.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:21

No, it's like bold as a well when niggas say bold, like mean like fucked up. Like, alright, so one of the bitches I fucked, she was pretty, but she didn't have like no arms. Like, she well, she was missing like her whole forearm and her hands were like connected to her elbows. Okay. And like she was like missing fingers on her fucking hands and shit. And it was like, that's what I say with bold. Like she was like disformed and shit. And I was like, damn, this bitch pretty, but I want and I want to fuck her. And I ended up getting her number. We talked, and I had to come over. I was disgusted the whole time she was stuck in my dick. Like it was just like just Oh, come on. And I was just sitting there like, I'm really doing this. Dude. You're disgusted. You said she was pretty though. She was pretty as hell, but like the whole fucking just the disability was just like it couldn't get past it.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:06

That was a horny night. I don't know if I dude, that's fucked. I I'm trying to think. Like, I have I I don't think I've slept with Damn.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:14

I could do a second one. Uh it was a diabetic bitch. Like she had like cords and shit hanging out her fucking stomach, and they would just like flopping around while we was fucking.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:21

That bothered you?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:22

Yes. Cause like, damn, I fucking like the injection thing. Cyberborg? She fucked. I was like, you didn't hear her fucking, you don't even hear me fucking. You just hit a cord smacking her.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:34

I tell you what, okay, so alright, now that I know what you're saying, the the weirdest, okay, the boldest one, the weirdest one I had was that I slept with a chick that was taller than me. And like, but like way taller than me. And that I didn't think that bothered me because she was she was pretty, she was fun, whatever. Like we we we got along personality-wise, we were having fun drinking or whatever. And then when I slept with her, I was like, damn, like her fucking heel is hitting me in the forehead. And her foot's like up here, like you know what I mean? And like, and then like trying to do like fucking doggy style. I was like, I'm like, she's like up on the bed, and I'm like, bitch, this is like at my chest. Like we made a jump into it. I don't even care, you crazy. Who can I step on? Yeah, for real. Like, I might have to stand on the bed.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:15

You get on the floor, I get on the bed.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:17

Right, and then I could kneel. Yeah, exactly. She was way taller than me. She was like six foot. I'm not you met me. We're not I'm not six foot, bro. She was like six feet tall. I was like, I mean, what am I, five ten? So like, no, she had to be taller than six foot. Now that I'm thinking about it, she wasn't two inches taller than me. No, she was probably fucking four or five inches taller than me. She was big.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:36

I don't think I've ever dated a tall bitch.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:38

How tall are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:38

I'm six foot even.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:39

Six foot even. Okay, so she was. I mean, not that I'm sizing you up, but she was like a copo. She was a couple inches taller than you for sure. Dude, she was like she had to be like how tall are you? Five'10?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:51

Nigga, you looked a little taller when we were standing up. Stand up.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:54

Let's stand up real quick.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:55

Hold on. You ain't six foot even. Hold on a second. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So you're two inches taller than me. Alright, alright, alright. Yeah. So she's so she was uh, yeah, she's so you're two inches taller than me. She had to be two inches taller than you. So she was like six two. She was big by the fuck. It was weird. Also, what was weird as fuck is that her head was huge.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:13

Damn.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:14

Her head was huge. So when you're like kissing a chick and her head is like fuck, you're grabbing onto like I feel like I'm grabbing onto a fucking man's head.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:20

That's yeah, that 007 head. You remember we were putting the T C Codes and big heads? I was like, what did you mean? Talking about the fucking Nintendo 64 cheese?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:31

That's funny as hell. That's funny as fuck the 007 heads. I was like, I don't know what I think you that's funny as fuck. Yeah, that was weird. That was weird as fuck. Oh, fucking a real fat chick too. You ever fuck a real fat chick?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:45

Uh no, I've never fucked a fat bitch.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:47

Dude, I so I yeah, this this girl was bigger than me. I slept with a chick that was like way bigger than me.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:54

And it was I can't even fathom the fucking fact of me trying to lay with a big bitch.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:01

Dude, I fucking my buddy was giving me shit for it after the fact. Motherfucker. Yeah. So yeah, I it was fine. It was just weird. You know what I mean? It was just different.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:13

I'm like the cinnamon stick off fucking the cereal box. Applejacks. Applejacks. Imagine me trying to lay next to a big bitch. That's normally how it is.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:26

Skinny ass black dude, it's always a fucking 300 pound white chick. White bitch. Uh-huh. Every time. What do you mean? Imagine it. I can't do it. Dude. Yeah. I hate fat people.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:37

Fuck you. I hate you too, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:41

I hate my cousins because them niggas fat. Like, ah, man. Like, I don't know, man. It's just like, man, how the fuck are you just this fat, bro? Like, you don't fucking want to have fun. You don't want to fucking see your dick without fucking having to move shit out the way? Like, nigga, bend down and touch your toes. Like, you don't want to fucking run and jog. Fucking. I gonna dispat people because I got a fat cousin that can flip. Like, this nigga hits. You can do backflips? This nigga can do backflips. How fat is he? Fatter than me? Nigga, you ain't fat. Nigga, you like fucking drugs working, that's why. Tell me I'm skinny. You like white skinny. You know y'all got that little blubber.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:15

I'm white skinny, which is gay, fat as fuck, by the way. That's gay obese. White skinny is gay obese. I'm a fat motherfucker in the gay community.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:24

You know, us black people, when we skinny, we Ethiopians. Like, well, you you can fucking see it.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:30

See the ribs and shit? You look like a dog in the shelter.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:32

Those sad ass dogs on the ribs showing and shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:37

Like, please go get some gas money. No, bitch. You're gonna get some views. That's what you can get a follower, too. Fuck you. I ain't giving you a money. I ain't giving you a dollar.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:46

Do you like to steal? Do you steal it off? I know like stealing is against white people culture.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:50

Do I steal? I did when I didn't make any money. Fuck yeah, I stole when I didn't make any money.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:55

I still steal. Like, that's like fucking.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:57

Dude, I remember the the one that I think about where I'm like, I feel guilty about that because it's weird. Is when I'm with my oldest, my oldest is 13. When he was in a car seat baby still, I used to shove shit underneath the car seat in the basket. Put the car seat in the basket at Meyer, and then I'd shove shit underneath the bat underneath the car seat. Clever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:17

Yeah. See, I just I don't know. I ain't gonna tell you my ethnic ways of stealing, but I still a lot.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:23

Shit, ethnic ways?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:24

Ethic.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:24

Ethic. Oh, the ethics of it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:27

Um I don't steal from people and whole. I steal from like corporations and shit, like Walmart. They can get it, target fucking uh airports and shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:34

Yeah, see, that doesn't bother me. That doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:36

When you're like robbing your buddies, like I ain't no shicey nigga now.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:39

Right. Dude, I my my buddy growing up, uh David, we fucking I remember one time we uh we pulled up to our buddy's house. We pulled up to our buddy's house and he gets out of his car. We're like 17 years old-ish. We pulled to our buddy's house, he gets out of his car, goes directly into his boy's car, and just steals everything. Steals his iPod, steals his chain, steals his wheel. This nigga look for it like that. Throws all it throws all the shit into his car, and then we go inside and hang out. And I'm like, I'm supposed to just not think about that the whole time. I'm like, you're a dirtbag, dude. And I was like, what am I gonna do? If I throw him under the bus, we're getting jumped because I was with him when he did it, you know. So I'm like, I didn't say shit. And I was like, this fucking douchebag, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:17

I mean, if you're a real nigga, I don't know. Okay, okay, so what do you call a real white person? What do I call a real white person? So, like, if you a real nigga, nah, you a solid dude as a white person. What do y'all call yourselves? Because there's a solid dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:28

Accountable a corporate warrior right there.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:34

I call him solid. I don't know if he's a good dude, solid dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:37

You a real nigga if you a solid black dude. You're a real dude. You got a stand-up guy. He's a stand-up guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:44

He's a real one. I mean, we definitely say real one, too.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:47

All right.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:47

I'm just curious about that. He's a good dude. Yeah, yeah. He's a oh, he's a good dude. Yeah, he's solid. Yeah. Or if it's like a what did you what would you call what would you call it? Like oh, you said shisty. Yeah, yeah, shite. Sheisty. Well, that's that's like the mask, though, isn't it? Isn't that no no? Shitey is like a shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:04

You'll get over on anybody. Like, they go fuck you. Is that why those masks are called shisties?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:08

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:08

Okay, you're bullshit. Pure bullshit. Okay, fuck.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:10

Alright, so shisty dude would be like dirtbag. No loyalty. He's a dirtbag. He's a scumbag. Yeah, that's what I would say. Like dirt bag. Like that dude I'm working with that's like tense, talking about how he fucks how he cheats on his wife. He's a fucking dirtbag. Damn. He's a dirtbag.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:24

We do not support cheating. No. No, no, I'm not support cheating. Dirtbag.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:28

Fucking scumbag. I can't stand. I was calling him out at lunch the other day. I was like, we were sitting there with four other men, and only one of only I was the only one going, You're fucking dirtbag. She don't fuck, she don't fuck me enough, and she knows that if she doesn't fuck me enough that I'm gonna cheat on her, so she already knows that's the arrangement. I go, she's getting folded up by a beautiful, handsome black man right now, and she's yelling, It's yours, it's yours on your couch right now. And you're like, oh no, it's fine. I fuck, I fuck tens, I only fuck tens. Motherfucker, shut up. You don't fuck no tens.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:00

Don't fuck no fucking teeth.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:01

You don't fuck no tens, and you're cheating on your wife, you're a dirt bag. You're a fucking scumbag. I was like, why don't you just leave? Why don't you just leave her? She's a good woman. That's what he said to me. That's nigga's favorite line. A good woman. She's a good it's a good woman, but you don't fuck around on her. What the fuck? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:19

Sorry, I had to text my Oh no, yeah, no worries. Baby mom to pick up my daughter.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No worries, dude. But yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:24

So a two-year-old, ah man, trust me, nigga. I mean, I had to learn how to fucking be a fucking Pops because I didn't want a baby. I begged, Lord forgive me once again. I begged my fucking baby mama to get abortion. I'm like, I'm gonna be a piece of shit there. You don't want me as a fucking baby done. You're not together? No, no, no. No, no. Were you guys ever together? Yeah, we was, yeah, I mean, I had to fuck her. Well, you ain't gotta be together for that. But yeah, yeah, that's what I'm asking. Like it wasn't a hookup. Yeah, well no, we was together. We was together for a little while. Then I knocked her up, and then when she did when she wanted to keep the baby, I was like, I'm out of here. Yeah. I end up turning out to be a fucking amazing dad. So but I didn't want her. I was still living my, I was in my prime. I was still fucking hoes and having fun. Yeah. But yeah, as a I feel like that's the best, though, isn't it?

SPEAKER_06 1:18:04

Having a kid?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:04

That's the best. It changed me a lot, trust me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:07

And good on you for changing for for that baby. Good on you for changing. Because a lot, because a lot of dudes just take the fuck off and that's it. That's it. Yeah, no, no, no. I ain't going to the store.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:16

If I do, I'm taking my baby with me.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:17

All right. Right. Dude, I love being a dad. I was I fucking had I met first kid at 19.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:22

I was saving that nut. I was not trying to give it up that easy.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:25

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:25

So are you with uh your lady that you had a baby with?

SPEAKER_06 1:18:28

No. So you're like the blackest thing I ever did had three kids with a dick. I have a BM. That's what I should have said. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:36

Black shit BM.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:38

No, uh, so me and my me and my ex, we were together for 13 years, though. We were from 15 years old to 28.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:45

How the fuck do you laugh that long with the same pussy?

SPEAKER_06 1:18:48

Uh we cheated on each other. Oh, we did. Oh, yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We fucking we were toxic as fuck from like the first month, dude. We were toxic as fuck. Breaking shit, punching drywall, dude, fucking yelling at each other. And we did that shit for a decade. It was so dumb. It was so dumb. We broke up, got back together, broke up, got to back together. She cheated on me, blah, blah, blah. It was toxic as fuck. I never been cheated on. It was toxic as fuck the whole time. It sucks. You never been cheated on? I've never been cheated on. What's your longest relationship? Three years.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:20

Three years? That's long. That's that's a decent stretch. I'm you know how you lay pipe? I lay pipe. Not going nowhere. I do the leaving. Yeah. I haven't cheated in a while. I'm gonna clap myself up for that. Um it's hard though. Like, temptation is a bad motherfucker. Considering that I work in a bar as well. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:40

Nigga, there'd be so many bad bitches coming in there, and I'd be like, Yeah, and you're a funny guy, you're a handsome guy, you work there, so you're like, it's like all of it is just like, what are you doing after this?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:49

I'd be going hunting my family. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:51

You just it's just yeah. That'd be hard, dude. It'd be hard as hell, trust me. Yeah, but see, I don't like I don't, I don't know. I I never I never had the the want to cheat.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:03

But like that girl must be hot as hail.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:05

Yeah, she is. But she uh but the tem like the as a man, you know that the temptation is is gonna present itself. And it's like, well, I don't want it though, because like I like her so much. That's a grandmate way of looking at it because like I like my life and I like her and I respect her so much that I would never do it. I would never do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:25

See, you you you give me some structure there.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:27

I need that. Yeah, because yeah, I mean it's not worth it. Like you you get that everyone knows it's like post-nut clarity, right? Like as soon as you fucking as soon as you come here, you're like, what did I just do? There's no way I'm gonna throw my life away for that. For that? For some fucking swept under the rug.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:47

Yeah, there's no way.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:48

There's no way I would fuck that up. Like, you know. I can't believe I never cheated on my ex. I can't believe I ne- I mean I guess I did at the very end, but that didn't really count because we I don't know. Alright, let me ask you if this counts. Okay. I should not be saying this. Whatever, fuck it. Uh pass is the passion. So me and me and we me and my ex had we had a threesome with a chick. And then the chick and then the chick left. Or no, sh my ex left the room. And then me and the That's not cheating. Me and the third girl did it again. That means baby, you come in here and get ready for round three. But it but it but it was the morning, though, after.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:29

I mean, it was shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:30

We you opened okay, so my here's my thing with that. You open those not because you opened up the door for this.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:36

Yeah, but she but she was in an agreement that we were gonna have the threesome. She wasn't she did not know that we fucked again.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:42

This is it's still considered in a threesome until she officially leaves the house and like No.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:48

No, no, no. I mean, I appreciate you being in my corner on this door for that. No. She left the room. It was like eight hours later. It was like a Where the fuck did she go? She went and fell asleep in the living room. She deserved it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:01

You leaving your fucking.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:03

I feel guilty about it. As much as I hate my ex, I I still feel guilty about that. I wouldn't have.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:07

I'd have been. I don't know. I probably would have.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:09

I feel bad about that still.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:10

Oh, we probably would have wouldn't have fucked on top of her.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:13

Yeah.

unknown 1:22:14

No.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:14

I feel like it would be less of a problem if she was in the bed and knew that was happening.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:18

Like if she had fell asleep and stayed in the bed. You know how the poor nose Bee fucking in the bed and she's just acting like she's so sleeping. You popping the shit out of her.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:24

My favorite one. My favorite ones. Those are the best. No, uh hell yeah. So I'm going, I know exactly which one you're talking about. She's getting an attitude half an inch. They're like, shh. Starts moaning. Like, yeah, no, she's not waking up for sure. Bitches get the the third is getting fucking CTE. Her head is shaking so fucking hard. But yeah, no, she's sleeping through that. Fucking stupid. Yeah, no. No, that was definitely cheating. That was definitely cheating. I definitely cheated on her.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:59

I'm not taking accountability for that one.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:01

I tell you what, though, it was we were seeing like now I'm looking to justify it. We were we were breaking up. It was the end of the relationship. We knew it was the end of the relationship. So like, I don't know. It I feel bad about it, but it was but also like whatever. It was like that's not something I do in a relationship. That's not something I would ever do in a relationship again. That was like we were like on again, off again. I was moving out, then I was moving back, then I was moving out again, you know what I mean? Just like toxic bullshit. Yeah. And then we're like, oh, we should have a threesome. And it was like, we can't even handle this relationship. We're gonna add another person to it. That was dumb as fuck. Did you last long in that threesome? Paige's gonna hate this fucking episode. She's gonna hate this episode. Hopefully she doesn't listen to this one. Um he did show. Hold on. All right, I'm gonna answer your question with a question. Okay. Do you think I gave them the easy one?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:59

I had to show up, man.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:00

Fuck no, I shot I shot the easy one in the sink, bro. What the fuck are you talking about? Did I? You think I'm gonna give up the easy one? I would have been there for 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:09

15 apiece.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:11

Yeah. Oh, I shot the easy one in the sink and then went back in there. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah, no, uh. I mean, I don't even think I don't I don't remember it. I've I only have eyes or for page. Yeah, for page, my fucking girl. You're trying to flip your page into night. She's gonna fucking hate this episode. I hope she doesn't listen to this one. She's like, why did you tell those stories? Because these are these are the stories that I would tell. But then she would be like, Yeah, but if I told stories like that, you'd be pissed off. And I would.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:42

You gotta tell like this. Like, baby, see, that's why history's so fucked up because people lie about the past. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:47

Listen, everything, everything that happened before Paige was horrible. I hated every moment of it. I never enjoyed sex before Paige. I never what's your favorite TV show? Let's move off of this before I get my ass beat at home. How about this? I'm gonna tell her about like if we talked about the threesome that I had, which she knows that I had a threesome with my ex and another girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:12

Okay, just that.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:13

We are like, we're like destructively honest in our relationship. You know, which is which was like there was a lot of shit that I learned, but like I was and I was mad about like when we first started dating. Because it was like damn, like a lot of these. Yeah, like your girl was a whore before you she was not, she wasn't, she wasn't, but she but she she has I know about I like I know all of her history, which I kind of wish I didn't, but I feel but like it's you know, like she has a she she has this friend group that she's been friends with forever, and she has history with that with some of that friend group. And I'm like, all right, I need to know that because like definitely hanging around too, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:55

Yeah, like I want to know that because I because I want to know like I I I would feel more conduble if I know you screwed a dude that comes around often. Yeah, yeah. See, my girl, like, my girl like this, she like uh don't tell me one of your past stories, I won't tell you none of my. Yeah. Because I think she be trolling a lot of time though, because sometimes you know, you just be talking to a girl, you just reminisce this, like, oh I've never had a chick. And she'd be like, oh, I had a tick one time. I mean, dude one time, and she be telling some stories. I'd be like, bitch. Yeah, who the fuck? Why the fuck would you tell me that? I thought we just share stories.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:27

All right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:28

So we she see that I have a hard time with because I'll tell stories. I'm like, oh, this happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:33

I'll be excited. She tells her story as bad as hell.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:35

Yeah, and I'm like, motherfuck. And then I get mad and I'm like, hmm, fucking.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:38

Now we got attitude. I'm going to make it.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:40

My boy was like, my boy was like, What's her number? I'm like, nah, I'm not telling you that. And he goes, he goes, Well, you want it to be one. Like, I want it to be me and only me for sure. But like also, she'd be weird as fuck if we met at 28 years old and she slept with nobody else, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:56

Yeah, I'd be a career. Like, bitch, what's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_06 1:26:58

Yeah, you fucking Mormon or something? But I don't but I also don't want to know about it. You know what I mean? I want to pretend I don't want to estimate I ain't gonna lie to you. Dude, I tell you what, like, uh, so I don't I don't get mad. I don't get mad about her hair about her past. But I tell you what, when when we first started to this first started this podcast, I was like, I didn't have real cameras, so I was using my cell phone. Yeah, I set up now. Now I do, yeah. But so the uh the first few episodes they were filmed on a GoPro and a cell phone or just a GoPro, and so it was her GoPro that I found. And I was like, hey, can I use this? Like this has just been in a closet. I didn't even know we had it. She goes, Yeah, just to delete whatever's on there and you weren't curious. And uh huh.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:39

You weren't curious.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:41

Well, I so she was like, Well, don't her brother passed away, so she's like, Don't just like go through and delete everything just in case there's like something of her brother on there. So I downloaded it all to the computer and like the first fucking video that popped up was her ex boyfriend shirtless laying in her bed. And it was just like it was just like a tester, like, oh hey, we're going on vacation, and she Wants to use this camera. So she's like, do do. And like her painting around her bedroom at her parents' house, and her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend's shirtless in her bed, just like laying there playing on his phone. And I was like, Look at me. I'm pissed off. I'm fucking mad as shit sitting at a laptop right now just because I see this dude actually existed and was actually in her parents' house.

unknown 1:28:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:19

I'm like, I'm gonna fuck him up.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:20

You better not let me catch his ass.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:22

Oh yeah. Oh well, trust me. And I was like, you need to go through this shit and delete whatever the fuck has him in it. She's like, I told you not to look at what was in there. And she's like, there's nothing bad in there. I'm like, that's bad enough. Oh, yeah. That's bad enough. Seeing this dude shirtless laying in your bed. I was mad as fuck. Go to my proposal. I was mad for a date. I'm getting mad right now. I'm about to hang out with her. You fucking my night up. I'm breaking up trauma.

unknown 1:28:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:46

But meanwhile, meanwhile, she's like helping me raise my ex's kids, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:52

Shout out to her stepmother.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:54

I hope you took care of her Mother's Day. I did. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:56

My nigga.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:57

We so we uh dude we okay. So we went to this, we went to this Mother's Day lunch with her mom, and we were there for a long ass time. And then we uh were on a softball league together, and we had to go to Dunham's to go get a different glove for her. And so we were at Dunham's for a long ass time. I was like looking at golf shit, she was looking at baseball shit, and then she got she got a phone call that her friend had passed away. So then so like all so it's like we went to this luncheon, that took a long ass time because there was a million motherfuckers there. Then we went to Dunham's.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:32

You know how to cut lines?

SPEAKER_06 1:29:34

Dude, there was no cutting lines. It looked like fucking Black Friday. Nigga, I'm not sure. No, it was in but it was impossible.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:41

You sh you gotta walk up to people and just start talking to them like, hey, you don't remember me? Why ice skin did you go to? Right. Yeah, I mean people be uh endosed into it, yeah. You just stand there.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:53

So we we uh so we so we go to we go to this luncheon, takes fucking forever. Then we go to Dunham's. I'm taking my sweet ass time looking at golf shit. She gets this fucking horrific phone call that her friend died. And uh, so like I thought we were gonna go to lunch and come right back. So it was gonna we were gonna be gone for like maybe an hour and a half. We were gone for like five hours. Damn. So when we got home, her flowers and shit that I had delivered to the house to surprise her were fucking rotted. Like it like baked in the sun, just ruined.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:24

Say marinated.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:24

I'm like, she's like, You got me flowers? I was like, I bet they looked better when they got here three hours ago. Like, god damn it. That shit was like a hundred bucks, and it's just everything's all wilted and twisted and shit. I'm like, ah, the chocolate's all melted.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:36

I'm like, oh, damn it. Did she at least say the thought?

SPEAKER_06 1:30:39

She she really appreciated it, but I was I was mad that I'd spent so much money on shit that looked like it was garbage.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:45

Man, like some bullshit.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:46

Yeah. I was like, God damn it. Like, couldn't have set the shit in the shade. They set it out in the sun on the porch. White test. What's your what's your favorite sport? What's my favorite sport? Because you said white test, I'm gonna fucking throw you a card. Basketball. No. No. Um fuck. Honestly, like I'm playing a lot of golf right now. I love golf. You say a golf club, I love golf, dude. I I really do love golf, but I grew up skateboarding. Skateboarding is my first, my real first love. My true love is skateboarding, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:18

Can you do some tricks on skateboard?

SPEAKER_06 1:31:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I skateboarded my whole life, bro. I started skating at eight years old. I still I still do.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:24

How do y'all even get into skateboarding? He's just like What do you mean? I fucking skateboarding is fucking boring. So how do you just get into it?

SPEAKER_06 1:31:32

Get the fuck out of here. It's like one of the most exciting sports there is. If you know what you're looking at, dude, oh my god. BMX, I like that. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I fucking but skateboarding just like No, you gotta see like, all right, so I grew up so I was born in '94. Okay, so like 10 years old. There's like day one song versus Rodney Mole, and these like these skate parts that are coming out coming out. The pros pro skaters put out these parts, right? It's like it's just you, what you've done that year, okay, right? These videos come out, they get hyped up, everyone's sharing them. I'm we're going to school, I got a DVD, you got a DVD, we're trading each other's tapes so we can see every all these new parts, and and then also like the X games comes on once a year. Street Leaks. X Games, it's the extreme, the extreme games. It's been around since the like '99. That's not white shit, dude. Nigel Houston's the biggest skateboarder on earth right now. I don't even know who the fuck that is. Okay. But pro skateboarding. Dude's like dude's got like 50 million dollars. He's a fucking huge skateboarder. But uh skateboarding. I'm making numbers up. Okay. Yeah, I'm like, the top skateboarders are all like none of them are white.

unknown 1:32:46

For real?

SPEAKER_06 1:32:47

Well say Tony Hawk was the last white fucking skateboarder? No, no, no, no. No. He everyone knows Tony Hawk because he made like a billion fucking dollars off of the video games. But he was uh he was like a vert skater. You know, he wasn't even doing like street parts.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:01

Oh I never knew that.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:02

Yeah, his son's a he's his son's a fucking murderer, though. Right Riley Hawk, he's a fucking killer. Uh which you'd expect like a dude that like, oh, LeBron's son is also a baller. You're like, fuck him. He's not a baller. You know what I mean? Like, he's not gonna be a baller, but Tony Hawk's kid is a legit badass skateboarder. He's fucking killer. But uh between watching all the skate parks and then like skate parts and then playing all the video games growing up, like playing all the Tony Hawk.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:33

There's like a f- I'm about to say if we play Tony Hawk right now on PS2, you think you would stand a chance with me? I'm fucking you up. I will fucking do you eat.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:39

I got a PS2 right there. I'll fuck you up before we can get it in here. We can get it in the back. I'm fucking you up. I just took Tony Hawk Underground out of there so I can put I'm having I'm having a bunch of people over here. We're playing fucking guitar hero when they get here.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:54

You're about to kill me with a guitar hero because I play on fucking medium, but Tony Hawk, you get in the fucking smoke.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:59

But so, okay, so how did you play Tony Hawk? You didn't get into skateboarding.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:03

Uh, cause I mean, because this is different from fucking me actually trying to skateboard, but Tony Hawk's that was the shit. Like, that's where I learned all my white music from. That's where I got into white music from. I was like, because my my friends hate that I listen to white music. What do you listen to? I listen to fucking a lot of shit. Uh Panic at the disco, Three Doors Down. Yeah. Uh uh. I listen to a lot of fucking music. I can't think of their names off bells. Uh, because you just put me on a little pressure on me. No pressure. Well, I listen to a lot of white fucking music and um Yeah, that's where I like all my shit from. Playing fucking PS2 games and shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:35

I listen to black music.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:36

What's the blackest song you listen to?

SPEAKER_06 1:34:38

The blackest song? Yeah. What's the blackest song? I I don't know about the song. I don't know. The blackest shit I listen to right now is Stovegod, because my buddy's been making me.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:49

What the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_06 1:34:50

Oh. Give me your card. Give me your card. Give me your card, your black card. Give me a card. I'm taking that shit over. You're talking about three doors down, I'm talking about fucking Stovegod. Give me that shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:00

But you look, you knew who Three Doors Now is.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:02

Of course I do, because they have that one song. They have fucking Kryptonite or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:06

They got Kryptonite, they got uh Here Without You, they got uh Dude, you're out waiting right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:12

This is a plot twist I did not expect at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:16

Damn, yeah. I like white music.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:18

I love so I grew up listening to RB. I fucking I love RB. I had to get past growing up, if if Shaka Khan or Prince or Boys to Men was playing.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:30

I was just about to say, if you was in a karaoke right now, word for word, what song would you play?

SPEAKER_06 1:35:36

Oh, a bunch of rock songs. Uh like, yeah, that's that's what I can sing. I can't sing RB. I can't either do that. I love RB. I cannot sing it.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:43

It's for the fun of it. You ain't gotta, as long as you know the lyrics, you ain't gotta be not an American idol ass motherfucker.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:48

Probably kissed with Prince.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:49

If I'm gonna if I'm gonna do an RB song, it's gonna be kissed. I'm gonna give you a heads up. If you ever go do karaoke and you wanna hype the crowd up, yeah, do Miley Syrie party in the USA. That's gonna put niggas on their feet, white people on their feet, they're gonna turn the fuck up. That is funny as hell. Everywhere I go, like every state I go to, when I go out of town, uh, me and my girl gotta do two or the three things. We gotta do an escape room. We love escape rooms, and we gotta do karaoke.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:15

I I do love karaoke. But my karaoke my go- my go-to karaoke songs are all like like uh Santeria by uh Sublime. I don't know what the fuck is it? Like I do that you don't listen to Sublime? No, they're like uh reggae like fusion fucking. Last reggae song I listened to probably was not pop punk. That's not what the fuck are you? Pop punk. They're not pop punk. What the fuck are they? That's funny. I guess they'd be like uh ska. Alright, you're getting too white fubby. Okay. Alright, fair enough. Fair enough. I'll take it. Uh Saints were okay. What about uh like Like a Stone by Audio Slave? You know you ever listen to Audio Slave? Okay. You said you listen to white music. I know you're calling you out. I've definitely sang Kryptonite at karaoke a couple times. Yeah, I can't do that. I've definitely done that.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:04

Um I can't think of it.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:05

You know what I do once in a while is fucking uh play that funky music?

unknown 1:37:10

Play that funky music.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:12

Why boy? Yeah, don't like to get to or I'll do like uh fast cars, Tracy Chapman. I love Tracy Chadman. Fast cars. Fast cars. Put me in there. You got a fast car. I got uh oh god, how's it go? Oh, you put me on the spot now.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:29

We learned about each other coach.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:31

I got a uh we won't have to drive too far. Um my god, why am I drawing a button? It's because I got so much music in my head right now that it's like fucking me up. Yeah, it is. Like when you get accidents, like I can't think of it right now. Because I know that song by heart, but right now I can't fucking think of it. Uh but yeah, I love Tracy Chapman. Tracy Chapman, I I fucking love though. She's she's a murderer.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:52

What'd they call Rascals?

SPEAKER_06 1:37:53

Uh oh god.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:55

Fucking uh Life is a hobby.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:59

I like them diggers.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:00

Uh Rascal Flats. Rascal Flats. Uh-huh. I like them like that. What's the white okay? Rascal Flats is probably the whiteest. Ray Tili Peppers. Oh, I love red hot chili peppers. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. I'm listening to their I'm listening to their uh my boy was just telling me that I gotta listen to their album. Um god, it's like I can't Google anything because my phone's over there. I feel I'm realizing how stupid I am without the internet. Man, I mean they got an album though. It's like uh sugar something, like sugar love, sex or some shit. It's like a it's an album where they all have like tongues and it's like it's a black, it's black and white. Kiss? No, red hot chili peppers. Oh. They tongues kiss. It's stuff like this. No, uh on the album cover, it's like their foreheads are all facing different directions, and then their like tongues are coming out. It's drawn, but it's okay. That album's really good. It's the first time I've ever listened to that album through. It's fucking really good, dude. It came out in '91. Murderer.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:54

See, I I I don't mean I don't know the songs perbatimely, but like if you like gave me like a little hint out of the song, I can probably sing along with Suck My Kiss.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:03

That song. You know that song? Right out of Chili Peppers.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:12

I need to do suck my kiss. That's my thing. Like, I don't know why I be having a hard time of fucking listening. I mean, uh remembering a name or fucking like the person who sings the song, but when you give me like a little ad-lib of the motherfucker, I be like, ah, okay. Okay, so what's your favorite artist at all? Favorite artists? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:30

If you say Drake, we're done.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:32

No, nigga, hell nah.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:33

If you say Kendrick, we're done. Rod Wave. Rod Wave? Rod Wave, really?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:37

I love that nigga. Yeah. I went to every concert. His music's fun. I like I like Rod Wave.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:40

Yeah. And I thought one thing. I used to mix up Rod Wave and Drewski. I thought they were the same person for like five years. That's racist, bro. It's not racist. They look alike.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:50

No, the fuck they don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:52

Drewski fucking Chubby one of the things. Rod Wave's fat. He's fat, not Chubby. There's a difference. Chubby, you got a little blubber down there. You got a little you still.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:01

Drewski and Rod Wave used to be a good one. Rod Wave fat as fuck. Drewski was fat, wasn't he?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:06

No, that nigga was never.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:07

He was he chilled as far as I'm. I used to think they were the same person. Don't they? Didn't they both have like the short fucking twists? Uh yeah, but Drewsky's was blonde. Rod Wave's was. His shit was blonde recently. I'm talking like five, six years ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:23

When he started shit been blonde. Unless I was blind.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:28

I thought they were the same person. That's all I'm saying. Alright, I'm ending on this. I'm not fucking. I'm not defending my shit. Fuck you. I thought they were the same person for a while. Who your favorite artist? Uh Dave Matthews band.

unknown 1:40:41

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:42

So good. So good.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:44

I noticed you got a lot of anime around. So who's your top three animes?

SPEAKER_06 1:40:48

Anime?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:48

Yeah. This anime right here?

SPEAKER_06 1:40:50

Yeah. That's anime. Um, okay, so top three animes. Alright, so Dragon Ball Z.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:54

This cartoon, though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:57

I'll take it though. I'll take it though. Fucking Powerpuff Girls. That's kind of like a tip to anime. Um Dragon Ball Z. Ah, typical. Typical. Well, it's classic, but that's what got me. That's what that's what started it. Okay. Uh, My Hero Academia. I fuck with that. So good. And then um. Oh fuck, why am I drawing a blank? Um What's the one with her uh Oh my god. Well, Avatar. Avatar. That's probably a Avatar from Nickelodeon.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:26

Nigga, if you uh meh. I don't even consider that as anime for you. No, alright.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:30

That's American cartoons.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:31

Okay, alright, alright, alright, alright. I got it, I got it. Alright. Um But a series it's gotta be a series though. Yeah. Okay. Um Dragon Ball Z, My Hero Academia, and then uh Oh my god, why can't I think of the fucking name of it? The uh why am I drawing a fucking blank right now? My brain, we're just like rack, we're just listing shit off artists and songs and now shows, and now I'm fucking blanking.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:03

The uh it's a lot of good animals.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:06

Let's just say one punch man. One punch man's good. It's fine. It's fun. I'm gonna get my top three. My top three, Demon Slayer. Demon Slayer. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:12

Hunter X Hunter. And I want to say Naruto.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:17

I can't stand that little motherfucker. All he does is scream. Every episode is just screaming beat ass. I fucking hate him. Ass beating screaming. It literally annoys me how much he runs around and screams. I can't stand that motherfucker. Believe it! What is the fucking what is the anime where the dude's got the fucking foxtail and ears? I can't think of the fucking name of it. Foxtail and ears. He's like wearing red, he's sword fighter. I can't think of the fucking name.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:39

Oh, you're talking about some uh uh actually show it start with an A, uh Inunasha.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:44

Insunasha, yeah. In you Asha. I couldn't that's why I can't think of it. Yeah, okay. That's that's my that's my real number three. One Pinch Man's fun, but in you in you asha, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:54

Yeah, it's something like that. It's a Nasha.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:56

Yeah, I don't speak Japanese. I can't stay in fucking Naruto, dude. I love it. Did you ever watch my My Hero Academia? Yeah, who have it? I fucking love it. I can name like a hundred people that hasn't seen that shit, dude. Dude, I fucking Well you hit the anime, nigga.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:08

You gonna watch everything.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:09

Have you watched have you watched the uh Castlevania ones on Netflix? Castlevania, Castlevania.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:13

I don't think I watched Castlevania.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:15

So Castlevania was like a Nintendo video game, like old, like Nintendo NES games, SNES games. Okay. Old shit. But then they came, they came out with this Castlevania anime. Dude, it is so good. They uh they have this um the Castlevania, I don't I don't remember what this second series is called, but it's about vampires, this this one, and it is so good. It's like it's like Game of Thrones level politics. I don't watch Game of Thrones. It's so good.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:44

Game of Thrones is like a white show.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:46

You keep saying this. It's not it's just like I don't like it, it's white.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:50

Yeah, like fucking well, and that's like what the MIDI we call it. Game of Thrones, are you kidding me? It's the zombies, I mean the fucking dragons and shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:58

Yeah, yeah, that's fucking it's not about the dragons though. It's about the it's it's all politics. It's all the it's all like the tension of what's about to happen because of these choices that are happening around the world. Okay, so in other words, I should stop judging it and watch it. Fuck yeah, you should. It's one of the greatest shows of all time. It ends stupid, but the rest of it, like when you're in the middle of the show, you're like, this show is so fucking good.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:19

Would you be mad at me if I said I never watched an episode of Harry Potter? Harry Potter? I don't give a fuck about Harry Potter. Yeah, fuck that show.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:26

I'm not 12, you know. That's that's who it's for. If you didn't watch it when you're 12, you cannot give a fuck about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:32

Nigga, I never nigga I that's the only nigga I know in there is Harry Potter. Yeah. Did you ever did you watch like the Breaking Bad shows? Breaking Bad with uh what's that old white dude's name with the last uh yeah, I watched the show.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:41

Well he was Walter White, but uh Brian Cranston is the actor.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:44

I watched a piece of it. I didn't watch all of it. What? Oh, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:47

I like the trailer park boys. Are you a TV guy? Yeah. I just named Trailer Park Boys. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you were saying it as I was asking. Okay. I love that. Okay, but not dramas though. You like you like anime and you like comedies.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:00

Yeah, I'm more so comedies.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:02

I don't really like uh like fucking see, I like fucking around so much that I don't like watching comedies because my brain is always doing that anyway, that I like I like the drama. I like I like serious shit when I'm watching TV.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:16

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:17

So like I watch like Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad and You ever watched Ted Lasso? Ted Lasso, no. You gotta get Apple TV. I got Apple TV. Watch Ted Lasso. You gotta watch Ted Lasso. It's a it seems like it's a show about we were talking about this yesterday on the podcast with a guy who has the same affliction as that girl that you were saying has fucking disgusting hands, which I was like, I can't bring this up because Paul's a comic, and he's got he's got you. I mean, you described exactly what he has. He he's got like uh I don't know, his forearms are short, and then he's got like a fucking finger or two right there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which it sounds like they have the same thing, but I didn't ask him about it because I'm sure that's all I'm sure that's all he has he talks about with strangers, so I was like, I don't want to bring this up.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:02

But because I asked Shorty after I got done fucking, like, what was up with that? And she told me it was fucking uh disease or some shit like that.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:08

So I wonder if it's the same thing because it's his I mean exactly as you described, it's the same thing that he's that's gonna ask. I didn't ask him, but it's like I didn't want to be that guy because as I'm sure that's what he talks about with every stranger that meets. Like, what's up with your fucking hands? You know, I didn't want to bring it up. Hey, you gotta make everybody feel comfortable, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:25

If I ain't comfortable, I don't know if you a fucking creature or alien. What's going on here?

SPEAKER_06 1:46:29

Silly exactly just a regular dude who's like he's like a high school teacher and a college football coach, and then he does comedy and motivational stuff. Yeah, maybe looking at the board like, yeah, oh come on, you can't do that. He's a nice guy. You can't do that. Oh he uh yeah, he uh fuck, what the fuck were we talking about? Damn, that just read the fuck out of my brain. I was like, oh no, he did not just No, we were talking about TV shows, like yeah, I mean you say you Oh Ted Lasso, dude. So we were talking about me and Paul are tail, oh Taily, whatever. Um, we're talking about Ted Lasso yesterday. It seems like it's a show about soccer. It's not, it's like barely about soccer. It's fucking it's mostly about like the people and like this like growth from these people being like I I don't want to give away the show, but like there's like you have every aspect of like people in that, and then and then the show takes you through their growth during these few seasons of being on the team or running the team or owning the team, depending on what character you're talking about. It's excellent, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:33

By starting off with players to like the future and channel.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:36

Yeah, I mean you have like this you have like an arrogant motherfucker who's like a up and coming star who's coming up against the guy who was like he's a legend who's like on his way out because he's getting older. You have this woman who took over the team because she won the team in her divorce from her cheating husband. But she's trying to ruin the team because he her ex-husband loves it and she hates her ex-husband so much. She's a fuck everything. That she's she's like, fuck all these people at this place. I don't care about any of them. I'm gonna ruin this fucking team. But then she comes around, it starts getting better. She starts caring about the team more than she hates her ex. Excellent. And then the coach is an American coach who goes to England to coach this team, and he's basically trying to give his wife space because she wants a divorce, so he's like, I'll just I'm gonna go do this thing. And like state, dude, it's so good, it's such a good show. Like I I I've reached, I've watched like three times through, and it's it's so good.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:33

See, like I like that TV shows like they was good, like fucking shameless or fucking uh Blue Mountain State. Blue Mountain State is. I then was like the good TV fucking shows. Yeah. Dude, I love those. Those you ever you ain't never watched Shameless?

SPEAKER_06 1:48:47

I I've watched, I have, I've watched I watched Shameless up until the chick we had her own business or something. Fiona had like a restaurant or something, and then like the shit heel little kid was like becoming a cop, and I was like, I'm done. I don't know how far that is, but like I it's too close to regular life for me that I was like, I can't deal with this. You know?

SPEAKER_02 1:49:08

It's like Blue Mouth State, which is a mind blower.

SPEAKER_06 1:49:11

Dude, when he fucks the pocket pussy and he's like calling out his dad's name, like what the fuck? That show is so ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:20

Who's the mascot?

SPEAKER_02 1:49:22

He's like coming into a fucking pocket pussy. The mascot that had to get his dick stable and it kept on unstable because he kept on getting hot around all the bitches. Dude, that was so good.

SPEAKER_06 1:49:32

I couldn't believe that show got canceled. That was so funny. I can see why. That was one of the first shows that was like on Netflix. I was like, what is this? And it is so good. That shit was amazing. Dude, his fucking dad when his when he loses his dad's pocket posting, it's like that's all he had in the war before he died. He's like having Vietnam flashbacks to his dad in war, he's jerking off. Oh my god. I've never laughed so fucking hard. And now that guy's in a serious ass, like CIA show. I'm Like, what the fuck? Which what? Oh, the uh the mascot. The douchebag. No, no, not the mascot. The red fad. That was his name. The teen captain. Yeah. Now he's fucking now he's like this now. He's playing Jack Reacher. He's this like CIA fucking like Reacher? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:15

I thought uh what's the Mission Impossible nigga name? I thought he played Jack Reacher.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:20

He played Jack Reacher in the movies. Also there was like two Jack Reacher movies, or maybe one Jack Reacher movie. No, the guy who played Thad is playing Jack Reacher on the TV show now. Ah, this game. It's good as fuck. No, no, it's good. But it is weird knowing that I saw him like fuck a pocket pussy, call out his daddy's name or grandpa, or whatever the fuck. Dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:40

So he goes from a football star to a motherfucking detective, huh? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:46

That show's actually pretty good. I I I wanted to hate on it. It's done well.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:50

I'm gonna invest some time in that series. I can't take that nigga serious. He was like such a dickhead.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:55

He was such an asshole in blue blue uh Mountain State. So good.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:59

I'm trying to fucking be like Ice T. I don't see it.

SPEAKER_06 1:51:04

Dude, he's did you see the video of him beating up his neighbor? That actor? Yeah, that actor. Dude, he so him and his kids were like out on motorcycles. Like he was on his it looked like he has like a stunting stunting motorcycle, you know? And uh his kids were on like e-bikes or something, or maybe dirt bikes. And his neighbor came out being a Karen, yelling at him for ripping around the neighborhood, and he got off there and beat the shit out of his neighborhood. That's a big motherfucker, dude. He is he's like 40 and jack as jacked as he was back in the Blue Mountain State days.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:37

That's one thing about it.

SPEAKER_06 1:51:38

Maybe bigger. He might be bigger than he was.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:40

He's fucking jacked, dude. That's one thing about white people. Like, one thing I can say about white people, y'all stick together. Like, if you see like a white dude and a black dude, a nigga fucking fighting in the middle of like a whole bunch of white people, white people are gonna start helping the white dude. Not knowing the circumstances or nothing. They're gonna just start helping the white dude. But if you see a white dude, a nigga fighting around a whole bunch of niggas, niggas gonna watch. They're like, let's see if you deserve to be a nigga. Like, let's see if we gotta revoke your black car, your nigga car. You better whoop his ass. Niggas is gonna watch. So ask white people, like y'all stick together, but shit. I'm not jumping in.

SPEAKER_06 1:52:16

So that ain't got nothing to do with me. I'm not jumping in. I'm not jumping in. Fucking Kevin James has a joke like this. He's like, I got like two, I got like two fights left in me, and I'm gonna be fighting for like the last slice of pie. I'm not fighting I'm not fighting for some bullshit. I'm not, I'm just I'm reserving that like someone mouse off to my daughter or something. Or like, or I'll fight you for the last piece of cake.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:36

I'm not fucking, I'm not fighting for some bullshit. Yeah, trust me, I learned my lesson about jumping in for people. Like, my homeboy, he was arguing with his bitch one time. And he he uh he called me, like, oh, can you come help me get my shit? This bitch over here, trip, whatever, bam. I pull up over there, and we move in. He stopped, he wouldn't even, he had like all the bags and shit at the door. You know when niggas get put out, they only got a couple bags to their name. And like, I'm moving his bags to the car while he's arguing with the fucking girl and her mama and shit. And like, I'm noticing, like, why the fuck am I moving his bags? Like, this nigga should be grabbing his shit too. And bam, he ended up smacking her. And I'm sitting there like, like, ah, nigga, why would you do that? Like, come on, nigga, let's go. Like, yeah, I mean, I'm trying to, he's still arguing with him and shit. She, the mama get on the phone and call her sons. And sons pull up. And I'm at the gate. It's like, it was like a gate. Like, I'm I got I'm like at the end of the gate. They on the porch and shit. And I'm like, they pull up shit. I'm trying to talk to these niggas, like, ah man, like, we got everything under control. These niggas start beating my ass. And nigga, he didn't even jump off the porch to fucking help me. I'm just over there getting jumped and shit. And I ain't had shit to do.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:38

You had nothing to do with it. You were just helping him move.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:40

And then they come over there, they kind of go on a porch to fucking fight him. And the girlfriend, like, no, no, leave him alone. And shit. And I was sitting there looking like, no, I'm beating his ass too.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:48

Get him. What the fuck? I just got beat up for no reason.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:52

She wasn't yelling no when you were getting beat up.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:54

They was on the porches watching me getting my ass beat. What the fuck? And then fucking, if they leaving. I don't talk to that nigga that much. Yeah, you shouldn't.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:01

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:02

And then after they leave, like I'm just laying on the ground, like fucking trying to gather my thoughts. They just kicking me. Like if they get back in a conch, I'm like, I didn't even do anything. What the fuck did I got to do with this shit? Yeah. I'm just a driver.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:13

Oh, dude. I got I got I had I was in a situation like that one time when I was younger, like high school. My boy sent this chick a picture of his dick. Oh shit. And her brother found out her brother's like he was like college age and we were like sophomores in high school. And uh we were walking home from school, and this motherfucker pulled up, jumped out of his car, and beat the shit out of both of us, beat the brakes out of both of us. And I was like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:39

I had nothing to do with it. He's like, send a fucking picture of your dick to my sister. Like, I want to send a picture of a dick to a little girl.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:46

Like, I saw you my dick right now. I promise you it wouldn't mind.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:48

Like, we were fucking it, yeah. That's probably that's probably the truth. That motherfucker, I'm sure, sent a picture of a huge dick he found on the internet. But we were like both 17 and she was 17. Like he was like, you all sent a picture of a little girl, and a dick of a little girl? Like, we're we're the same age. What the fuck? Yeah, I should have jumped at dude. Beat the shit, and he dated the chick. He ended up dating the chick. I'm like, beat that shit out of both of them.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:09

And that'd be the problem. That's why you gotta buy your fucking bit and we didn't got our ass beat for this bitch and y'all together. Yeah. Now he's beating their pussy up.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:16

Yeah, I got beat up for no fucking reason. I would have nothing to do with it. I'm just a bystander washing the shit out of us. I mean, we were kids getting beat up by a man. You know what I mean? Like we were fucking 17-year-old kids. So you don't even know how y'all fists work.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:27

Y'all looking at like, what am I supposed to do with these?

SPEAKER_06 1:55:29

I didn't even understand. I didn't know that stars were a real thing. I didn't know seeing stars was a real thing. Until I got hit by him and I was like, shoo, shoo, shoo. I thought that was just a Looney Tunes thing. I didn't know that was a real thing. I was seeing stars, like, oh, that shit is. I was literally thinking that while I'm getting the shit beat out of me. I'm like, oh man, you do see stars when you get hit hard as fuck. I had no idea. I thought getting hit by my dad, I was that was as hard as I was ever gonna get hit. Fuck no, I got hit by like a 24-year-old man. Getting my ass beat.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:57

That's what's saying. My daddy never physically punched me. He used to also put belts in my ass.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:01

Yeah. Oh, my dad punched me, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:04

Oh, so you said my dad was a pussy. Yeah, your dad's a bitch. Your dad's a bitch. Your dad's a bitch. My daddy, yeah, ho, gotcha.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:12

My dad fucking punched me. My dad fucking My sister lied one time. My sister to my My sister was on the phone and we were we were doing this stupid like slapping game when we were like each other? We were like 15 years old.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:26

I got thir go 30 seconds like some real niggas.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:29

She was like, she like ran up to me like slightly on my arm, and then I'd like slap her with a towel. Like we were like, it was just like escalating all day. And she got on the phone and I ran up and went and like and I mean literally went. I didn't slap her. There was no pain. There was no mark. It was not a slap. I literally touched her. Gotcha. Because she was on the phone. She was distracted. And she told my dad I slapped the shit out of her. She said I smacked the fuck out of her. My dad, and my dad called me and was like, Matthew, come here. Sit down. You slap your sister. Technically. Yeah. But but would it hold up in court? No. You know? And he j he fucking put his knees up on my like he jumped on me and put his knees like on my on my lap. He was like kneeling on top of the boo, boom, boom, in my face. And he he was punching the shit out of me. And his chocolate lab, my dog Yukon, jump was jumped up behind the recliner and was licking my ear. And I'm like, this motherfucker's fear. I'm getting punched in the face. And the thing that's bothering me the most is that the dog was licking me. I'm like, he hits like a bitch. I was literally like, I'm getting punched in the face. And my I'm like, can you get the dog to stop? You can keep hitting me. It's fine. You do your thing, nigga. Yeah, but the dog licking me is real fucking gross.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:47

Yeah, no, that's Yeah. I hate animals.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:50

What? Yeah, I'm not an animal, nigga. I'm a dog guy. I love it. I love having a dog, man. Are you kidding me? Dude, having a dog's the best.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:58

I mean, I had one dog growing up. I think this probably like scarred me. Like uh, it was a big ass German shepherd. And like uh he jumped off the gate one time and got out the yard, and he was like sleeping on a neighbor porch and the neighbor popped him. And ever since then, I think I never liked animals after that. Shot him? Yeah, shot that nigga dead.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:15

Oh man. Dude, I have a fucking we have a golden retriever uh husky mix. So he's like, he's black, white, and brown, and he's got one brown eye and one blue eye.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:26

Damn, that nigga mixed his head.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:27

Dude, he's cool as fuck. And he like he has these huge fucking paws. And like when he he'll put his paw on you when he wants you to pet him, and he'll just like and he'll like squeeze with his little fingers. It's fucking hilarious. And then every day, dude, every single day I get home from work, I come in, I come into the house, and he's sitting there waiting for me, and he I taught him how to hug. So he just like he'll be sitting down on his butt, but he pops his front two paws up and he's just like he just like sinks his head into my gut. Dude, it's the cutest shit of all time. It's the best way to get fucking welcomed home. He's the best, dude. You gotta get a dog. I'm gonna get you a dog. I'm just gonna send a dog to your house. Here's a puppy, and you're gonna be like, ow!

SPEAKER_02 1:59:05

And you're gonna be reformed. See, look, you know one thing about see white people treat their dogs like fucking family. Like white black people, we just chain them all fucking up in the backyard and fucking just see him when we see them.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:16

I wish I remembered the dude I saw. I did a mic in Miami, and the dude, the dude, I don't want to fucking blow up his premise, but I'm gonna fuck it. He said, he goes, he's like, if reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a white person's dog. That's loving. That's fucking hilarious. You go, you getting treated like they're gonna get you get treated way better. He's like, I fucking want to come back as a white guy's dog, get treated like family, sit around, eat and drink all day, get fucking pet, scratched and shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:44

You get to go out for walks and shit. So you can reincarnate it as a nigga dog, you might as well just fucking kill yourself because that's when you're gonna smell fucking die of hunger and thirst out into some dusty ass backyard chained to a fucking chain the fuck up. Chained to a telephone pole, they can throw you a ticket bone every other day. Die of thirst. My uncle had a lot of dogs die from being chained up in a backyard. Like, I know she's not. A lot? What the fuck does it take to keep them alive? I don't even know why the fuck he gets these dogs. Like, where the fuck he even be getting them from? I don't even know. Like you'd a dog would die, he'd just pop up with another one. Yeah, that's my new dog, lady. Lady was a hoe. Like, dog was like squeezing through the gate, coming to fuck her and shit. She had a thousand babies.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:27

Oh man. Had that fucking had those nipples that were dragging on the ground.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:32

Baby mama nipples and shit.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:34

Oh, dude. I got a joke about that where I'm like talking about losing weight, taking Ozempik, and I'm like, man, why am I on top though? It looks like I look like a lady dog. My nipples are like dragging on the bed and shit.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:44

Your girl hunt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:45

Get a rhythm. My shit's flopping in all these directions. Gross. Like, why don't you want to get on top? Because that looks fucking nasty. I know what you gotta look at. I look like I'm wearing one of those wingsuits. You know, the fucking flying squirrel wingsuits. It's fucking gross.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:00

That's why I like being a skinny black dude. Only thing you don't see flapping on me is these balls. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:08

Prove it. Shut the hand up.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:17

Fuck yeah. Like those hands like from across the room. It's funny as hell. Dude, fucking speaking of, we gotta wrap up. I got I got I got another peep. I got people coming. Dude, fuck yeah. Well, plug your shit. You got dates or your social media, all that shit.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:36

Uh oh, uh shit. Um, I mean shit. I'm not really a social media guy, honestly. Uh I got a Facebook, but I don't post nothing but bullshit on there. I don't fucking post no. But you can follow me on there, O'Mear Perry, O-M-E-R-P, P-R-O I. Uh, TikTok, broke dreaming. I don't be on Instagram. I don't be on TikTok either. I just fucking watch. But uh I don't know. Fucking uh I got some shows I'm gonna start doing. I'm gonna start. Like I said, I belly flopped and I was a little discouraged, but now. You're back. Now you're back. Matthew gave me a little more confidence in myself, so I'm about to start off strong.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:06

Hell yeah. You're gonna talk about all the differences between white people and black people. That was the theme of the show. That's hilarious. What's the blackest shit you've ever done? Oh fucking a weekend in jail. I didn't put oil in my traverse until I blew the engine. I don't know. That's true. Those are all true.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:29

I think that's a rookie. I ain't a black thing. I turned my own oil. I go straight to YouTube to fix on my car. I go to TikTok for everything, too. Chris Fix here. Okay. I be watching like a motherfucker. I paused.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:42

Right.

unknown 2:02:43

Right.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:44

How the fuck is this video a half hour long? This took me four and a half hours. I'm not even where he's at yet. What the fuck? Don't you hate that? That's the worst part of it.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:51

Like, them niggas be fucking fine and parts and shit. Like, what am I supposed to do with that?

SPEAKER_06 2:02:56

You can't you finish the job, you got extra poles.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:00

What did I miss?

SPEAKER_06 2:03:01

I guess I'm just better than the engineers.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:03

I swear, I'm gonna just put that in the back.

SPEAKER_06 2:03:04

You're not peeling this back together. Fuck that. I'll just put it in the I'll put it in the cup holder until something falls off. Oh, that's what that was for.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:11

That was my first time doing brakes. Like, it's these like little metal clamps that goes like on the caliber and the crazy.

SPEAKER_06 2:03:16

Fuck those clips.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:17

I swear, and I was like, where the fuck do these go?

SPEAKER_06 2:03:20

They go right in the fucking garbage. They go in the box that the brakes came with, and that box goes in the fucking trash.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:25

I was literally like, something right. I don't want to kill myself. I'm sitting there looking at trying to see what them fucking clips was and shit. I was like, where do these go? Fuck them. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:03:36

You find out if it was important. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You stomp it on the brake, putting your foot through the floor. No, no, no, no. The clips! The clips. And then you make me a puddle into the Southfield freeway. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:49

Yep. I didn't stop then. It ain't gonna stop now. Tommy, you go. See ya. Be able to keep up with me because if I hit you and you get out your car, I'm gonna wait till you get right to the window and I'm gonna skirt. Out of there. I hope you remember my license plate.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:08

That's why you can't get a vanity license plate. I noticed that. That it's memorable. Like fucking. Like I was just driving behind a guy's license plate was NFL fan one. I'm like, that's gay. Who the fuck does that? Yeah, no, he told me. He had an Eagles plate, like an Eagles like license plate cover. I'm like, why was your why wasn't your license plate something about the Eagles?

SPEAKER_02 2:04:30

Those are the people you fucking throw a water bottle at.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:32

You're just fan of the whole league. Skateboarding fan one. Like the that's fucking lame.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:38

That's white shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:40

He was a black dude.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:41

Oh, he's gay. No, I'm lying. He's white. He was white as fuck. I'm lying. He's suburban, bro.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:46

Yeah, yeah. For sure. He's like, doesn't like his family, but he's like all about the Eagles. You know, he goes in his basement and just watches fucking. I hope he watches it. Watch him like be a fan. He's like, motherfucker, he's behind me. That guy's whole basement is all eagles and shit.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:00

Yeah, see. I'm a big fan of the pistons and uh lions, but I don't got like fucking banisters and fucking posters of these niggas.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:07

Bannisters?

SPEAKER_02 2:05:08

Yeah, banners and fucking panels.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:09

Yeah, that word's not what you thought it was.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:10

No, banister. I know what a banister is, the railing.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:13

Dude, I don't have lions theme banisters.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:16

We're in different tax brackets.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:18

I didn't even know you can get custom banisters, dude.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:20

You know, you know black people gotta mispronounce shit. That's the only that's the nigga way. You're not black if you don't mispronounce shit.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:26

You're like, what's the blackest thing you do? Let me ask axe you a question. How do you say ask? Axe.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:32

Axe.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:33

Axe. Why is it axe? Shit, because you axe. Shit. Dude, I my buddy, my buddy said that to me one time. He goes, uh he was talking shit about his girlfriend. He's like, I don't know. I'm gonna ax her. I'm like, that seems like extreme. He's like, what do you mean? I'm like, you're gonna fucking hit her with an axe because you don't like what she's doing? He's like, that's you know that's not what the fuck I meant. You gonna axe her?

SPEAKER_02 2:05:57

Like, you gonna hit her with an axe? Hey shit. I'm gonna axe her. If she don't answer that question right, I will. Horror stories. You say you don't see too many black people on there. You see like mostly white people because y'all be just fed up with shit. Horror stories? No, like the fucking how to get away with murders and motherfucking my ex-wives.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:15

Did you see f have you seen first 48?

SPEAKER_02 2:06:17

That's a different brand.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:18

One guy every season. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:21

What are you? See, look. What are you talking about? White people go on first 48 when they murder somebody. White people go on fucking how to get away with murder when they fucking execute their whole fucking family.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:34

Oh, that's what you're saying. Okay, okay. I see what you're saying. Yeah, you know what? Alright, you're right. I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:38

Yeah, bitch, get on your knees.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:40

Yeah, okay. So first 48, when it's a black dude, it's like, oh, what happened? It got loud and then they shot him at the gas station.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:46

Yeah, he was talking that shit and I had to.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:48

But then when it's like a documentary about like how did a this whole white family get murdered. Yeah, this whole wealthy white family got died.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:55

That lets you know. When you're white, you can't be too happy because you're gonna get a little You're gonna get murdered. You're gonna feel suicidal, you're gonna fucking somebody gotta do it.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:03

Dude, that's fucked up. You can't get too happy, you can't get too wealthy because someone's gonna murder all of you.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:10

Damn. I do love those documentaries, though.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:14

I mean, yeah, I see why they document it, because they're kind of factual. Like when you're rich, when you're too rich, you start liking kids. But when you're too happy, you gambling.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:22

You start hitting people, murdering people.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:24

Damn, that's crazy. So just stay above property. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:30

Pay your bills, but be sad about it. Then you won't murder anyone. On that note, unless it's from good times, dude'll sail it. Fucking on the weirdest note of all time, we're ending this shit. Dude, thank you for coming on, man. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:46

I excited. It was like my first time on a podcast.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:48

Yeah, this is fun, dude. This is fucking, we just didn't talk nothing but bullshit for the whole time. It was a blast, dude. I'm definitely gonna have you back on, man.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:55

Yeah, I'm coming. I got you. Okay. I'm skinny. That's my stage name. When y'all start seeing me out, because I'm I'm here to repress y'all now.

SPEAKER_06 2:08:01

Hell yeah. Hell yeah, dude. All right, peace.

SPEAKER_04 2:08:04

Peace, peace. Survival. It's it's fighting. It's fine.