Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and Crystal makes fun of me the whole time and it's great and it's real. Welcome to Jerking Around. Welcome. Tisha's having an attitude problem today. She's in mourning. I'm just going to drink your water.
Speaker 2I'm just getting a drink, I'm trying to hydrate, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah, so when she's dark like this, it means she's going to say something really inappropriate.
Speaker 2Something nasty.
Speaker 1Your nail, though you've got to stop. No, it's fine. She does this thing where she lifts her nail like a nervous condition.
Speaker 2It's like a nervous. Well, I used to bite my nails, so now I have like the hard gel, which I love, the hard gel. But now I pick at my nail like I lift them and I just do weird things, so she's killing it.
Speaker 1So now it's like a nub and she's trying to hide it from me. Well, no, it's not a nub. The hard gel came off. It looks nub like it's very small.
Speaker 2It's a little nubby Well she filed it down to even it and then it was too short. When it first fell off, it was fine, if you keep lifting from here.
Speaker 1I think we're going to have the brain back. We used to in high school because it had tentacles no she'd suck on her fingers no, weird, I didn't.
Speaker 2She does that still, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1No, oh yeah, I would bite my nails and like my finger would get waterlogged from, like, and it would look kind of brainy.
Speaker 2It wasn't, yeah yeah don't recommend. I know my kids bite their nails, some of them CJ does, yeah, and I'm always like don't bite your nails. And his nails are so low I'm like oh it, it looks like it hurts.
Speaker 1I don't mess with my nails.
Speaker 2I'm like don't do it. And then when he's doing it, he's like but I used to do that. Yeah, I was like you need a cleanse like a pair, you know, like a parasite, cleanse Cause I've heard that that's like a part. You know, ticks and different nervous behaviors are part of if you have parasites. Great, there's Bytisha.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's great, we're really doing it.
Speaker 2If you're a nail biter, try a parasite cleanse, just saving the world, one parasite at a time. Where do you get a parasite cleanse? There's different things you can do. There's all different. Like at the grocery store. No, I think you have to order them yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, like at the grocery store. No, I think you have to order them.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, it's herbs, melissa knows. Yeah, melissa's into it. So have you done one? No, but I want to.
Speaker 1Well, get going.
Speaker 2I know.
Speaker 1Why not?
Speaker 2I know I should.
Speaker 1Get one today and then tell us about it next week.
Speaker 2All right, see you later. Guys, I'm going to get you know.
Speaker 1So our week? Nothing exciting like last week. We had a cheer competition Shocking this weekend. The girls did really well Lots of metal detectors everywhere.
Speaker 2Yeah, it was a different vibe.
Speaker 1Lots of police From the nacho fight. It really turned things around. I felt safe, though I felt safe too. I felt way better. Yeah, the metal detectors, they very much checked everyone. Yeah, you had that one check where they took you in the back room yeah, and you loved it.
Speaker 2The strip search yeah, they were like, yeah, now body cavity check, you know, and I was like, oh well, it's been a while. So I'm just kidding, and it hasn't been a while. Wish it had been a while kind of Cavities are to the back, no cavities in there, yeah, both holes.
Speaker 1so which one has it been a while?
Speaker 2no, that one's been. Never the the normal has been a. It's been a while. No, it hasn't been a while.
Speaker 1I wish it'd been a while this is getting, I feel, really upset. Yeah, so, anyways. So you've been doing it. A lot is what you want to talk about. I mean, when you come back from out of town, does he really want to catch? No, but you said, kyle did yeah, and I was like I'm not ready to catch up. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2Well, that was like a traumatic comeback.
Speaker 1Yeah, I was like I told you, I got back and I was like feeling wounded and I got in bed that night and I was thinking, oh poor me, I'm scared. And you know what's kind of weird, when I was followed in Vegas, yeah, I was just gonna say whenever the same thing happened, yeah, I got in bed all scared it's and I like cuddled up and then I just been followed by these like five random almost taken almost taken. I don't feel like doing it after that yeah, but he thinks it's the green light.
Speaker 1It's a little like what's going on. I think it's the cuddle. Do you ever not want to cuddle? Because you know that's what's gonna happen all the time.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, I'll play dead. He's like cuddling and I just lay there and he's like geez and I'm like well, no, because then you're going to take it as a green light. Yeah and no, it's not a green light.
Speaker 1It's like frustrating because I don't mind a cuddle. I'm like he'll rub my back and I like that part yeah.
Speaker 2But I'm not always ready for the whole thing. Right, trying to give the wrong signal. Sometimes I feel like if I cuddle or sometimes if I just my feet are cold, I'll put them on him. He thinks that's the go. He thinks it's the go and I'm like, no, I'm just I have cold feet. So I have to say, hey, can you get my heating pad? Because then I'm by myself. You know, because if I'm rubbing up on him, then he thinks that it's like the green.
Speaker 1I know I wonder if that's a problem in many marriages. Like you, stop cuddling. The other night he was like come after I got home from being traumatized, try to go to bed. It happened. And he has this thing where if I say no or if I'm like, nah, I do that too. It's like the biggest challenge and it's happening. So I don't know. I got to switch that up Cause I was like, and then he's like oh, I'll get that no to a yes.
Speaker 1Yeah, you know, it's not like inappropriate or anything, it's a yes before it happens, but if he rubs me more than 10 minutes, it's a green light for sure.
Yeah, because I like am so grateful. Oh, my oh. I've done hours rubbing. I'm all good night. Are you serious Hours? Yeah, like two shows.
Speaker 1He rubs you the whole show. Yeah, he's rubbed the whole, but is he trying and you say no?
Speaker 2Well, he doesn't have a choice, because I throw my leg over and he'll like rub my knee or my leg.
Speaker 1Like Kyle just starts, I'm not like saying no after that. Is he like trying to make it happen and you say no, or he doesn't try.
Speaker 2Well, again, it's like the signal, so like if he's rubbing my knee and my leg, then he'll like try to like Rub up it. It'll kind of try to drift. And then if I'm like letting the drift happen, and sometimes I'll like reposition the drift, you know, and then I'm like, and like my leg was sprawled over on him and then he was rubbing my knee and it was fine, and then all of a sudden he tries.
Speaker 1And then I like throw my leg back on my side and then he gets.
Speaker 2He gets the like the drift or he gets like subtle messages. Yes, he knows if you close your leg.
Speaker 1It's no, it's a no. Or if I have to be rejected, yes, yeah, because I'm not gonna be like no if he starts like really going yeah, I'm not gonna be mean, you know, yeah that's the thing like. If once it like goes to a certain point, you can't say no it you can't say no, it'd be awkward yeah.
Speaker 2Except I feel like the other day yesterday, our house cleaner was coming and he was like, what do you mean by coming? She was coming, she gets there at like nine and so it's a small window from the school drop off to the. What if she's early, exactly, and she just comes in our house? So it's not like A knock or a doorbell.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2So I got home from dropping the kids off and then he was wanting to, you know, play and I was like, oh, no Josie's coming. And he was like thinking it was. So what happened? Let's make it quick. And I was like no Josie's coming, so we didn't do it sounds so wrong.
Speaker 1I know it does. It's kind of it was a no, but it wasn't like he was touching you.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, no, he was trying and I was like no, get the heck off me.
Speaker 1It wasn't like there's a certain point where you can't say no, it'd be so rude, or can you? I can Like if he's touching your private, you'll just be like no.
Speaker 2Well, I'll just roll over and get out of there, or I'll like move his hand, I don't know.
Speaker 1Just it's clear you know, really yeah.
Speaker 2So do you say the word no or does it just like you roll over and run? I'll say like I'm tired or good night, or like no ease. You know, I'll add the IES to be like not so rude. Yeah, and you say no ease, yeah.
Speaker 1And what does he say?
Speaker 2please ease's. No, he just like gets it and then he's kind of irritated. You know, yeah, yeah, and I sometimes I care if he's irritated. Sometimes I'm too tired, I don't care if he's irritated.
Speaker 1When I used to watch the Duggars. I used to love the Duggars Um, things have changed a lot since, but she was like you never say no to your husband. You're the only one in the world that can give him that gift. So anytime he wants it, you got to be giving that gift. Yeah, do you believe that? So I go both ways? Yeah, I do think you should, because, like my mom said, it starts in the morning, you earn it in the morning and I like that. She always made my dad earn it, but they were like fiends, fiend like the song. Yeah, they were always doing it. But, like for me, sometimes what happens is like you get on that bad path where you're annoyed by each other and you're being short with each other. The last thing I feel like doing is doing it.
Speaker 2You gotta just do it, you gotta do it. So like it's confusing, you know. I think it depends. I think you don't need to maybe always say yes, you, you can say I'm tired, maybe not in a way that it's like withholding or mean, but just like, oh, I've been like, hey, I'm tired, can we do it in the morning? I've said that when I'm not like, do you follow through? Yeah, usually Okay. Where I'm not like denying it's like you're a loser, I'm just tired, yeah, I'm not like. Ah, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah, like we talk about sex a lot in marriage but I mean I'm no pro at the marriage thing or the sex thing, I just go off of what like they've taught us at church and Dr Laura, some friends really big yeah, some friends have said they don't say no and it's great, you know friends, yeah, no, I'm asking.
Speaker 2I didn't say anyone oh yeah and they're super cute and I do think it is good.
Speaker 1But, like with that person, that friend of us and she does listen, not all the time, but she is a jerky, the friend of ours. They've only been with each other. And I always think that when you've only been with one person ladies and young people that listen, because we have a lot of young people don't do it until you're married, because it does bond you better. Yeah, people don't do it till you're married because it does bond you better. Yeah, we've been blessed to have that gift too. Yes, you know, but I just think I think it's the no is different when, like, you've never been with a guy that was using you or didn't make you feel safe well, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2If he's being a jerk, I'm not doing it. Get the heck out of here. Yeah, those days have passed yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm not on the side of the freeway anymore, exactly, you know. Yeah, no, I agree, but I feel like for our friend it's like a lot, it's like three times a week and she's like you. Just, you know, I go up there and I put him to bed and I take care of him and then I go watch my shows and he's happy as a cucumber. Yeah, because I put him, it's good. Yeah, and I do like that about at night because I like to watch TV and Kyle doesn't, my husband. So if I do the thing, then I can watch TV.
Speaker 1Then you get your freedom Because, like, if he's, if I don't watch TV, he's like turn it down, turn it down, turn it down. Once I do do that, it's like he's right to sleep, yeah, but it wakes me up, it's like caffeine. Yeah, yeah and it's like always, I always joke with him. I'm like when I'm almost asleep it's like your favorite, is it because I don't know? Just say, I'm like that. That b words finally shut her mouth. Oh yeah, like because I'm always young. And then when I'm almost asleep, I'm like quiet.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm like, is that why he's all, finally, finally just shut her mouth, you know, and he laughs.
Speaker 1It's like when I say hike, but um, I feel like he does think that sometimes, because I get like yeah, I don't know about you, but and Kyle listens, so I have to be very careful with how I word it. But sometimes for me this is happening to me this weekend. I don't know if it's because we're on a girls' trip, but like I get used to like my rhythm without Kyle, yeah, and I try to explain this to him Like when the kids get ready for the morning, it's super calm, like there's not. I actually don't really like spaz on my kids a lot, like it's very, very calm. I don't really have to is, and so I get like you're throwing my mojo off.
Speaker 1But I'm not trying to undermine him, but I get sometimes where it's like I just get like annoyed, you know, yeah, it's like he'll wake up and he's like checking for everything and like this is, this room isn't clean and this isn't done, and I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa. It's Saturday morning. This is like the first Saturday we had where we didn't get up and out, right, so it was like he wants to get things done, but I'm like that's not how we roll. We roll very calm in the mornings.
Speaker 1So I don't know, it's really hard, I feel, for people that's husbands work out of town and come back.
Speaker 2That has to be a really hard transition yeah, we were talking to our friend about that and her husband travels and she says it's a transition when he comes home because she's like hold on, we had our whole thing and now it's all thrown off.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's how I feel. Yeah, like when I'm more, I feel like it's because we were gone and like we've I've. Just I haven't been around him as much, so it was harder for me this weekend right, because you were like nails on a chalkboard and not him.
Speaker 1It's just like he cares about the things I don't care about, and that's what makes us work. But anytime I try to better myself. That's what's hard, I think, in marriage. When one person starts really growing and the other one isn't growing with them, I think that's gotta be really hard. Yeah, and I feel like I've seen that happen with couples.
Speaker 1One person really gets healthy or gets sober and then the other person they divorce.
Speaker 1So I read books in the mornings. I've talked about it since 75 Heart. I listen to books every morning because I try to fuel my brain before the day takes over and it's something that really helps me. So I'm reading. I told you guys about this book. I read about how to win. It's called how to Win Friends and Influence People. It's like an old school book. Kyle called this morning when we were driving and he was like they're talking about Abraham Lincoln. I'm over it, yeah, but it's really interesting. It's about, like, how to win people over by being positive more than, um, negative in a leadership role, which is really interesting.
Speaker 1Um, I recently I'm just being going to be honest like Kristen Cavalieri, we I recently lost one of our team members at real estate. You know you guys have been on this journey with us. I was quitting a year ago. I'm back. Business is actually super good for us right now. The team's doing amazing, the team's super small, but I just lost someone One of my very, very, very close agents. She's been with me for seven years, so it was really hard on me the last couple weeks because I'm very personal and like what did I do wrong? How could I have handled this better? Was I not enough? You know and things have just changed a lot in the last year since my dad's passed and I may be a different leader, but I, reading this book, I'm learning. Did I motivate the right way? Did I give enough? Um, oh, it's making me. Did I give enough? Oh, it's making me emotional.
Speaker 2Did.
Speaker 1I give enough, like Tom, it's okay, like I don't know. It talked about how this is really weird. I haven't been crying a lot at all either, so it's super weird. But did I give enough like positive reinforcement? And I think that's why, like Kyle, was nails on a chalkboard for me, because I'm reading the book on how to like motivate people by positivity and maybe I'm like feeling guilty about that, because as a leader, I like things done. A certain way I'm very laid back in life, but at work Tisha would agree Like everything for Whole Twerf Homes is done. We have very high expectations and I wondered did I not make that person feel valued, feel special, feel like her or his opinion mattered? It's a her, but, um, I don't know.
Speaker 1And it talked about how important it is for people to feel valued. That's like everyone's main need and I'm like how often does that happen, even at home? Like I was telling you this morning, I forgot to pay for Hudson's cheer fee and and I feel like sometimes with Maddie I didn't forget as much with stuff because she's first, and I'm like that didn't make Hudson feel valued. Right, that, like I did, that wasn't a priority of mine and sometimes, like we've been out of town a lot and I'm like maybe Broxton's not feeling he's been acting up a little when we're like together and I think he needs my attention, right. I'm like how often do people leave a relationship or a business, or even a friendship? I've had a lot of friends. This is really like therapy right now. I've had a lot of friends that struggle with me because they don't feel valued because I'm so busy, right. I don't know, it's a really good book, but it's very what's that word?
Speaker 1Um, when you're being not convicting, convicting, very convicting for me, which I actually love, like when I love when something's convicting, but this book is very convicting for me, yeah, and I feel like a lot of leadership books because I've read them for years.
Speaker 1I actually am like yep, yep, not like I have it all figured out whatsoever, but this one was like like every word. I'm like Whoa. I was seeing it as holding high expectations means holding everyone accountable, like every, every level should be here, and if you're not here, I'm gonna say it and I'm like real proud of myself that in my leadership field, I'm very honest, I'm very up front. I don't like keep a lot in, but is that the best thing? Is there a better way? I could have said things like you know a more motivating way he talks out in the book and they talked about at church.
Speaker 1Even the best way to get the most out of people is compliment when they're doing what you want, right. But like with our kids, that's kind of what happened on Saturday morning. It was like the, the laundry's not done and your room's a mess, and I'm like we're pointing out 10 things everyone did wrong, instead of like the one time they cleaned their room being like I love when you clean your room like that, like that's the that makes me so happy. You know what I mean. Even with our husbands I'm like, I'm so, I'm pretty positive with the kids, to be honest, but with Kyle I'm not. I'm like, ah, why'd you do that Instead?
Speaker 2of like.
Speaker 1Hey, I love when you get home and you take rocks and you don't yell at us but it's hard to rewire your brain because when you want to say, like, what not to do instead of saying what to do, yeah, like as a coach, that's like a big thing I am is like the psychology of telling your athletes what to do instead of what not to do. Right, like, hey, let's make sure we hit everything instead of don't fall on that, right, it's like a very positive mindset. So you're focused on what to do, not what not to do.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1But then in other areas it's like you know, kyle, stop yelling at the kids and you're being like, and I'll say like you're being annoying and they don't want a dad like that, and that's like horrible.
Speaker 2It's not being positive. Yeah, but you're only human, yeah, no-transcript you.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's good yeah, but I feel like with you know the team member that left, I think sometimes I think it's great that you take things so personal, because I think that's what makes you a great leader, because you you are thinking it's something that you can always, it's always in your control to fix and make everything great for everybody. But sometimes people are just on their own path and I think sometimes we never are going to naturally leave our comfort zone and so sometimes things just happen to us and it doesn't mean you weren't a great leader or you aren't a great leader. I think you are. I think maybe it's just sometimes things run their course and it's hard, and I think it's great that you're reflecting and it'll only make you better for the remaining team members, you know, but I don't think it was anything you did wrong.
Speaker 2I think time, yeah, and you were just going through your own thing and and that person's going through their own thing. They're going through your own thing and and that person's going through their own thing. They're going through life things too. You know, like our kids are getting older, you know going, going away. So there's so many things I think you just need to. I do see what you're saying about being positive, but there's also like you have to also not take it all on yourself. You're you're not solely responsible for making someone feel valued. You know, because you're human. The only person that can ever truly fulfill that for everyone is God, and so if, if we're looking like my husband can't fulfill my every need, you, as my boss, can't fulfill my every need you know.
Speaker 1So just trying to make you not think it's you Right, and I do think things all happen for a reason. Yeah, it's like we have friends too that are going through things. Tisha and I are on probably 20 group texts with me and her and someone else, me and her and someone else. It's pretty funny.
Speaker 2It's like we're like the dynamic duo, like, yeah, it's like drinking around has turned into like and I think that's part of it.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's like, we do this together we do work together. It's kind of like we do life together in a weird yeah, um, let's be honest way. Let's be honest yeah, but we're not lesbians, as you guys know, but one of us wants to be well, I like that new girl at cheer now, so she does have this girl she really likes. I have a crush.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's something kind of like the guy I like saw this shirt in my closet the other day and I was like oh, she wore something like that. And I was like I wonder if I wear that. And then I was like what is wrong with you, you know? No, you are really into her too.
Speaker 1It's real funny, it's so weird. Yeah, she's great though.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1But I think sometimes pivot is sometimes and we talked about this before, cause I saw it on a, on a short but, like God's, pivot is sometimes a blessing and I do feel like all everything happens for a reason, but I do always try to like, learn and grow from everything, which you should.
Speaker 2That's the if you can take away a learning experience from something happening that hurts you, then it's positive, you know. So that's a great quality.
Speaker 1But Well, it's funny because on the way here we were talking, it doesn't always mean you need to change everything. I know you're right and, on the way, here we were talking about a lot of things that we'll get into, because we kind of just try to outline what we're going to talk about.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1But it's funny because years ago when we started growing the team, it was like so exciting and if any of you are realtors or anyone out there that has thought about growing a team in any capacity, I, you guys know, if you listen, I like to be more like the bigger and better kind of person. Tisha's more like content with smaller private. We're like opposite, like that.
Speaker 1So, when real estate took off and then our team started to grow, it was exciting for me. I'm like, okay, let's be the best team and the biggest team out there, Right, I mean not bigger per se, but we were having a lot of people asked to be on our team you know, and we, we do do real estate differently.
Speaker 1It's very about the people, it's very about our clients and we kind of have a different edge to the way we do things. So I think it started to get attention. And it's hard for me. I'm like, oh, I'll help them, let's bring them on, let's bring them on. And our team grew and grew and it was a blessing to be able to have so many people.
But what happened is just financially, as from a business standpoint, bigger isn't always better. When bigger grew, then bigger expenses grew, then bigger responsibilities grew, then bigger overhead grew. And for me, you see all these big teams or you see these influencers, or you see all these people, especially on social media, where it looks like bigger is better, and for me, I want to tell you bigger is not better. So, like, what's happened is, I feel like we climbed and we climbed and we climbed and I got to the top and it was like that's kind of what happened when my dad died. I feel like we were doing all the things and we were growing. Like right before, probably a year before my dad died, I went. I feel like I'm at the top, where I can taste the top, I can see where these people are and it's like up here it sucks. It's way better when you're back to the root of why you do things More money, more problems.
Speaker 1It is like there's more overhead, like I was making the most money I've ever made, but I was taking home the least because I had to pay for everybody and I had to do everything and I was to grow. Your name costs money and branding and and this and that, and to keep all your clients happy and coming in. It's like it costs money to grow. So it's like funny. I feel like I've gone the other way. Now it's like scaling down. I want to go back to why I got into this.
Speaker 1And it was for the people and the clients and I actually we talk about this a lot I love the deal. I don't love the big team, I don't love managing people all the time. I just love helping people in the deal, you know. So I feel like as we're scaling down, it's probably like you're shedding your skin, like it just changes. So now I feel like we're back to the root of like how I started and I am super happy, so I didn't have to quit.
Speaker 2More relationship focused, thus business focused.
Speaker 1Yeah, totally, and more like what's in front of me instead of the big picture. Yeah, so in real estate it's hard to run a business and take care of your clients, so you kind of go into two lanes. So now I feel like we're just taking care of our clients. Running the business is in God's hands. Yeah, hope that works. I guess we'll see it's going great, yeah, but yeah, it's funny because weeks ago it's like it's I, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2You know what I mean. Yeah, it's like who cares, like we're making a difference to help people. You know, and like that is really what you care about you know, and I like the list.
Speaker 1Totally.
Speaker 2I'm just. I don't know why I'm not like that.
Speaker 1I wish I was wired more. I know I want to not be wired like that. I'm like am I a loser that I'm not more like no, I think it's just a validation that like, yeah, in our business it's so numbers based, which our numbers are really good, right, but it's like it's just a pissing contest.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1It's so much, I think in any business right Like there's levels, lot of affairs Because there was a lot of happy hours and then with drinking comes canoodling and like all that fake business stuff.
Speaker 2I'm not doing a happy hour with anybody. We don't do any of that.
Speaker 1No, nothing, no, we just jerk around. Anyways, speaking of influencers, key documentary this weekend with Kyle, and she was a YouTube star that started recording her family Right Years and years ago.
Speaker 2They were like married With five kids. Yeah, In Utah. They're Mormon right In Utah.
Speaker 1Oh, sorry, I didn't get your messages no. Yeah, they're just people in Utah.
Speaker 2People in Utah.
Speaker 1Might have had different beliefs, and they were. She had six kids, yeah, so they were eight passengers. Was their YouTube handle when it was all about their family, right? So they would video their family and it was really fun at first and then it became like the business. So it showed like behind the scenes videos that they got from her yeah, you know she's in jail and it showed her like now, smile, and then it would be like live, and then the kids would all be laughing and it would show the camera like when she put it down, and it would be like like Muffy, like it was like crazy.
Speaker 2It's weird that Kyle watched it with you and then he's like I feel like it's like Tisha like yelling at her kids. Not say that, not the recording part, but just the yelling like he said that I think he was being funny, you know, because I'm always yelling at my kids, you know it's like so funny, yeah, like very smiling.
Speaker 1Yeah, we're going to Disneyland, and if you don't want to, be, happy at Disneyland. But that part was like relatable. So I was like, okay, am I going to jail because like yeah, I'm all well, it's your competition.
Speaker 2Ken won't take a picture of me. I'm like I pay millions of dollars. You better take your picture right now or you're not. You're kicked off, like you know. I get crazy. It's fine, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah. So I'm like am I going to go to jail? You know, like Ruby Frankie is kind of relatable, so the beginning was all relatable and her husband was like I. His perspective was actually really interesting for a man. He was like a dork, yeah. And he was like validation, yeah, that he wasn't a dork. He was very fit, like oh, he was getting like yes, and he was like I was getting fulfilled by like finally making it, you know, and um. So they grew into this big family but it's crazy, the kids didn't want a video anymore. They said their whole life. It was like the Ted, what's that show? The Truman Show or something.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, where it's all video.
Speaker 1Video and they're like our house became a set. Yeah, our vacations became a set.
Speaker 2Well, I follow some people on Instagram and I'm like thinking I'm like these poor kids, oh, so many people on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and it's 24 7 and you can tell the kids are like looking at the camera and they're like, do you like that toy? Swipe up. And I'm like the kid isn't like the toy, you know, but it's crazy.
Speaker 1I know and this is our generation. Yeah, like, this is real, I know, and sometimes I fall for it. We text um. Tisha and I and my sister-in-law we text about things in Instagram. Yeah, and sometimes we're like ooh, look at this. And they're like do you picture that? They have a tripod set up? And it's funny, because we're so like elementary and I don't think about that. Yeah, like when you're watching it, you think, oh, that looks so cool.
Speaker 2Like there's a fly on the wall.
Speaker 1But it's like it's so funny I fall right. It would be someone you would hate. So she wakes up at 5 o'clock every day and works out. She has four kids. I hate those people. She does her reading every morning, oh you would hate her.
Speaker 2It's so cute.
Speaker 1And I'm eating it every day.
Speaker 2I'm like I'm going to wake up at 5 o'clock oh like eat blueberries in my oatmeal every day.
Speaker 1Yes, it's like bed, it's all of it. I'm like, oh my God, it's so boring. She makes sourdough every morning. I'm asleep. She has four boys. She's having a fifth boy and she said Mama, four boys Every day. It's the Mama, the designer, and she's a Christian and it's like I'm having Brooke. I'm like I'm going to start doing what Brooke's doing. Yeah, I'm never doing that. Oh, I'm doing all of Brooke's things. She puts red lipstick on every day. I might start putting red lipstick on every day. She like made this. It's like so someone you'd hate.
Speaker 2She made like a book with like laminated pages for her Disney World trip, yeah.
Speaker 1And then was selling the book on how they do Disney and I hate Disney and I was like, should I get the book, like Brooke? Yeah.
Speaker 2I should make a book on how to wipe you know I fell right into it.
Speaker 1I know, but now, when you picture the tripod, you're like you're right. Yeah, you know, it's not the same.
Speaker 2But I can't stop watching. Nothing is just what it seems. I make sourdough, then I want to record things and because I'm like, oh, I should do this, and my kids are like so uncooperative, they're like god, mom, like, like, or I'm like I smiled, like don't post it, like it's so crazy. I know they hate like anything. I could never be like an Instagram star, right, and that's the fact that, like no one's watching, but yeah no, but like it starts with no one watching.
Speaker 2Yeah, no, my, my kids are so uncooperative. And then, ben, I'm, I'll take a picture of me and it's all the worst angle. You know, like the husbands are so recording and they're, like Brooke's, always taking a picture of the red lipstick yeah, and they're watching, or like the husband's recording the wife and she's like holding the kids out. I'm'm all get a picture of me carrying. You know it's like the worst angle.
Speaker 1He's horrible, I know, but what the weirdest thing is with so many of these people, brooke Ray, I can't read the word r-a-w wait, r-a-y-b-o-u-l-d, raybould I don't know how'd you get Brooke Burke from that. I don't know, isn't she a celebrity?
Speaker 2yeah, she used to be on my. Watch her stomach, I know, do you get?
Speaker 1that like ad. So Kyle is next to me the other day. And the ad for Brooke. He goes every day and I like started doing sit-ups. Her ad. Have you seen Brooke? She's like in her underwear, yeah, it's the best. So Kyle's next to me and I'm sliding through Instagram. He goes who is that? What is that? And I'm like it's an ad and he's like who's that girl? And it's like her side. I've never seen she's in like underwear?
Speaker 2yes, but it's like, I see it every day, it's like the best body.
Speaker 1Yeah, it is it's every day they're moving. Look mama, for boys. You see her. They're in matching outfits. We're not finding out the gender of the baby in spandex oh my god yeah, and she wakes up at five every day.
Speaker 2Mama wait this is the real reason why moms are so tired. Did you know moms make over 200 decisions a day.
Speaker 1Yeah, and she has a whiteboard in her house. I'm like I need to get a whiteboard in my house. I know you totally are like doing all those things yeah to four boys.
Speaker 2This is our husband wife 5 am morning routine.
Speaker 110 years into parenting, we've developed a 10-step morning routine that's transformed both our marriage and the way we parent. Every time I'm like writing those steps down.
Speaker 2See, this is annoying, though, because let me tell you why it's annoying. First, it's annoying because people are making money. She's making money off people trying to make their mornings better yeah, but, like they're probably more stressed out because they can't master this 10 steps. And she homeschools, yeah, and you're just making her money. And it's dumb, oh, and she takes cold showers. She probably doesn't even do that. She probably just records it once and then sells it and people are buying it and they're all stressed out trying to do the morning. Oh, I have been stressed out.
Speaker 1If someone recorded my morning, it's all it's all tj yells at me is my heating pad hot, you know? And then it's all him putting the heating back. I'm a mama for a kid sitting on the couch, I'm a mama for, and I'm all and I'm all you know.
Speaker 2I'm like reading my devotional scrolling.
Speaker 1I love that about you though because I always fall into this crap. I'm not always fall into it and I'm like always the overachiever personality yeah, and Tisha's like not, no, and she's like I'm not doing that and like you're still very productive in life. I'm so productive, yeah, and you're not doing any of it no, she waits, I'm gonna make, I'm gonna make a guide for.
Speaker 2Now she has a bedding company yeah. Oh yeah, like bedding a bag.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, her and her husband. He's a lawyer, they're moving to Texas. They're doing it yeah, oh yeah. And she meets on Sunday nights. I don't even want to tell you they have a family planning meeting, oh yeah, with her husband, and then they type up the agenda of the week. Their kids must want to just like run away. I know it does kind of look funny, it's too much. Yeah, Disneyland was stressful. She had red lipstick on every day, though. Yeah, it's not fun.
Yeah, she had her outfits planned oh my gosh, mine it guide. Like marry a husband that makes your coffee and does the laundry. And then, like, wake up in cities, cities, yeah, cities for minimum 45 minutes. Isn't that long? It's like 30, yeah, but like they know, don't talk to me, I'm not doing it like I'm doing my coffee.
Speaker 1It's not my fault, you didn't do your homework last night exactly I'm not gonna be in a rush and miss my cities. She wakes up at 5 am, she works out, she runs two miles a day and does 20 minutes of strength training every single day. Then she takes a cold shower and gets dressed for the day. She believes that getting dressed like fully cute outfit every single day makes her feel more productive and I can see that for some people. So I'm all trying to get in the cold shower.
Speaker 2I keep feeling it. And if you're not that type A personality, like if I tried to do that, I would be so stressed out, miserable, because and I'd be setting myself up for failure because it's not like something I'm good at, yeah, so for me, I'm like get a hike in today, it doesn't matter. If it's 5 o'clock, I don't need to wake up. I'm never waking up at 5 am. No, so I o'clock. It might be you know you hike a lot of days, but I'm hiking all the time. Exactly, you get it in there and you get it in.
Speaker 1That's great for a type a personality but, like there needs to be, you can still be successful and be a type b. You know, and I wouldn't say you're a type b at work at all, no, I'm very type a than me.
Speaker 2Yeah, I get back to people right away, but there's things I'm not doing.
Speaker 1But how many people watch Brooke rebuild and feel less than that's?
Speaker 2what I'm saying, cause you're not doing that and you don't need Disneyland with the color coded or whatever.
Speaker 1Oh, and the outfits, no and all of those Disney outfits, you know, I know.
Speaker 2I hate a matching outfit. It's so expensive and.
Speaker 1I'm like they're always shopping at like Sprouts together as a family and I'm like we should drop a Sprouts together as a family.
Speaker 2I store. No, I'm never going to the grocery store. I'm overpaying instacart, oh my god.
Speaker 1I'm tipping $80. It's outrageous. I do that too, and last night we went to go get um my niece's birthday today, so we went late to go get her something yeah, I went, and Hudson goes 6 am this is mortifying. My daughter goes. This is my second time ever I've been in fries ever, ever, really. That she can remember? Yeah, because we didn't have instacart when we were little. We took them all the time. They always went grocery shopping with me. I remember having all mine on the cart.
Speaker 2Yeah, what's happening? This is awful. Oh, is it bad that last night Ken told me I need to bring the gift and so I was on instacart at 10 o'clock last night and I was gonna instacart it, but it's. They don't do good at picking out balloons and flowers, so I had to go this morning.
Speaker 1Yeah, anyways yeah no, I do feel like the, so I watched that one. I forgot her name now Brooke Ray, something. No, the one.
Speaker 1Ruby Frank. Okay, so Ruby Frank. So what happened with Ruby? Let me do it. Oh, yeah, yeah, they started following this influencer Back then. It wasn't even an influencer, it was crazy. She's a therapist. It was Hillebrand. Her name was Hillebrand, something, hillebrand. She was single. This is what drives me nuts, like why do people follow marriage advice for someone that isn't even? I don't even know if she ever had been married, right, like she doesn't know. No, and her kids? Yeah, she's estranged from her kids. Yeah, why are we listening? She lived alone in this um like Sedona in Utah, where we stopped, where we stopped in for the. The oh, st George in St George in the middle of nowhere is where she lives. So I'm like she lives in the middle of nowhere by herself, but she is a marriage and family person, but none of her kids are with her right, I don't think they were that old.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's what we call a red flag. Yes, yeah, like giant red flag.
Speaker 1Yeah then she has these men in these groups. They're in these facetime groups talking about sexual impurity and she's yelling at them that they're lustful and that they want to do weird things to their wife. It was like, oh god he wants to do all the things. Men are like feeling bad. They want to do these things and she's all. You're lusting, your wife and I'm all. Isn't that what like is good? Like, aren't you supposed to.
Speaker 2I'm at your house. You should be like spraying holy water all over that bitch but like that's normal, isn't it?
Speaker 1it is normal, like it was weird. She's like you gotta do all this, oh my gosh so this lady's an idiot.
Speaker 2And why are men listening to a woman? Sorry, that's stupid. Oh, like a guy shouldn't listen to a woman's advice about sex yeah, no, yeah.
Speaker 1So they're all in this group every week. I'm like these men, these men so demasculating, so this girl.
Speaker 2Yeah, her husband sounds like a little bitch Whose Ruby's.
Speaker 1Yeah, he was. Yeah, I could tell it gets really bad. So okay, so Hill and Brand, they take over this lady. Her son started acting up this is so sad because he was sick of being on camera. Yeah, so he started acting up. He got kicked out of school. Ruby's crying on the thing. My son got kicked out of school, which I was like wow, I wouldn't tell anybody, I'd be like there he is going to school and put back in his room right like brooke raybilled or whatever.
Speaker 2Maybe that's why your kids are homeschooled.
Speaker 1They all got kicked out, yeah, but it's looking perfect.
Speaker 2Yeah, exactly you know.
Speaker 1So I'm like, wow, she's telling him she's crying. He got kicked out. So then he started doing weekly therapy with this lady, so he now like loves her it gets so weird to you.
Speaker 2Yeah, she like brainwashed these people. So then it's so. I can't stand when people get brainwashed by people. It drives me nuts.
Speaker 1It's in these conferences called connections with an ex, and then they like, do all these talks and and what happened is jody, is that her name? What's the lady? Ruby, ruby, I'm thinking jody, areas, you're like talking about now jody areas.
Speaker 1That's horrible. It turns, I'm telling you. It turns. Ruby kyle keeps calling me ruby at home too, like when I'm yelling he's like Ruby and I'm like, yes, awful, so, okay. So the Hillenbrand lady now they're all doing these connections, now they're speakers for connections. She took her son's bed away for seven months. He had to sleep in the basement on a bean bag. This is when things start to turn. Yeah, that's weird. Because he's being selfish, and the selfish is from the devil, right, yeah, so she's starting to like really lay it down.
Speaker 2Spiral.
Speaker 1So they were like a normal family, with the yelling and everything. Yeah, that was all normal.
Speaker 2So the lady is like culty, right? Yes, so she's telling him that it's the devil.
Speaker 1Yes, yeah, you know, we got to get the kids to mind. And then the kids said yeah, I slept on a beanbag for seven months. So YouTube lights her up, which they should Totally, you know. They light her up and said you're abusing this kid blah blah blah.
Speaker 2Yeah, why wasn't CPS?
Speaker 1called. Oh, CPS was called like 10 times on these kids. And they didn't do anything because there was no evidence of abuse. Once it turns, let me tell you abuse. Once it turns, let me tell you, yeah, yeah, I don't know if anybody cares, but I did care about the documentary, so, ruby. So then she starts like being a speaker on like because Helen Brand and the lady is not cute, not saying that, people only follow cute people because I only follow cute people, oh my god, she says that a lot.
Speaker 1I don't but Brooke does have the red lipstick and she's very pretty. Yeah, brooke Raybould, or whatever bald. Yeah, I don't know how to say that word. Yeah, anyways. So the Helen Brand is not cute and it's weird. I can't believe the following because I'm not seeing it.
Speaker 2So anyway, yeah, like why aren't people following us and they're following her.
Speaker 1So the Helen Brand is in the Red Rocks or whatever what's it called In Utah, like she's having like satanic things where she like is seeing weird things around her house.
Speaker 2Oh, like paranormal activity. I read that yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, it's the devil, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, so it gets weird. So she's like he's here.
Speaker 2So is she making it up? I don't know.
Speaker 1So the whole family of the eight passengers goes out to the house and they're like there's too many weird things. She's she's got to come live with us so she moves in. This is like black. That's when things get weird. So now at night she's having these. In her night she's having these terrors and there's videos of her like, like in tongues and it's bad.
Speaker 2I shouldn't laugh. This is horrible that this happened to these kids. So in the middle of the night it's happening. We can't make that a clip?
Speaker 1So now, Ruby goes and has to sleep in her room with Hillenbrand because she has to help keep the people away.
Speaker 2This is reminding me of that stupid kid. Do you remember that one kidnapped in plain sight? Yes, that's what it's like when I'm like these people are idiots.
Speaker 1That's exactly what it's like, and it's all happening slow, like the frog effect, yes, and they're not realizing this woman is ruining your life. So now the kids are getting punished all the time because Hillenbrand's living there. So now the wife is in the bed with the Hillenbrand and the daughter the oldest daughter is starting to see things are going weird. Yeah, and sees like massage oils on the thing and like all this weird stuff by the bed.
Speaker 2So they're having like a three.
Speaker 1No, not with the daughter.
Speaker 2No, the husband in the white.
Speaker 1No, the husband's in his own bed, oh shoot. She's with the Hillenbrand, oh shoot. So then they decide that the husband, that they need space, they kick the husband out and they kick the son out, the son that fixed his life.
Speaker 1Yeah, and they're not allowed to talk to each other or the family, yeah, cause that's normal For one year, one year they don't talk and the and the husband just leaves Cause he's thinking that Hillenbrand, he's not being godly and he needs to give separation for a year. While they're out of the house, the abuse starts with the kids. They think the two kids are satanically possessed oh my gosh. So they lock him in a room with no food or water.
Speaker 1The kid had duct tape around his ankles, hadn't eaten in weeks. They were like cutting him, like physically to get the demons out, or whatever. The journal entries she had had she's fully saying what's happening. They're possessed.
Speaker 2The kid ran do you think she really believed that? She believed it because of this lady. It's weird. It's like how are people that susceptible?
Speaker 1and they're like so the dad was not around because he was not allowed to talk and the son wasn't allowed to talk, and so then the kid ran to the neighbor's house. That's what you can see, the video where the kid goes to the neighbor. Yeah, he's the one that saved him, right? Yeah, and then the kid ran to the neighbor's house.
Speaker 1That's what you can see. The video where the kid goes to the neighbor yeah, he's the one that saved him, right? Yeah? And then the dad gets called and the wife Jodi, or whatever her name is, what's her name? Ruby Ruby calls the husband and is like the kid is telling the police bad things about me. He's saying I did all these things You've got to go get him.
Speaker 1And he's he feels horrible. Now he's like I can't believe I fell for all this. Yeah, my kids were being abused and I left them there and didn't call them because they told me not to call for a year. So then she goes to jail. They both plead guilty, her and Hillenbrand, and and I don't know if the kids are back with the dad, but the oldest daughter, who knew what was going on? She calls him Ruby and his name. Yeah, like I don't think they have a relationship but like pretty normal family went South all from Instagram and Hill and bread and YouTube.
Speaker 2It's weird Cause I feel I don't like to judge because I don't want, cause you never.
well, I sometimes judge, but um you never know when you try not to judge, yeah, but I try not to, because you never know when something can happen to you. But I feel pretty confident saying like I would never be susceptible to like following someone like that. That's so weird. But there are so many people. I've always said like I feel like God created. We're created in God's image. You know. God created us. We're supposed to work. We're created to worship him. So I feel like if you're not worshiping him, you're very susceptible to following and worshiping someone else.
Speaker 2And there's so many whacked people out there that people are following and listening to and they're miserable. Like it's weird. Like we were talking about Dave Hollis, which I'm sure he's really nice, but he was like a motivational, but then he was like he died of like addiction and yeah. But I'm saying like people are. People are making these choices and following this person Based on false pretenses, right, and people are sinful in nature. Like people make mistakes. You can't put somebody on a pedestal. Only God you know. But it's just weird.
Speaker 1I'm like Well, I agree, I don't think we're ever supposed to put any other idols besides him, but it's crazy. That's what bothers me about social media and influencers, and that's what we try to not be totally. We say way too much on here because we're trying to so be without like the guard yeah, we don't have anything figured out, we don't have anything figured out.
Speaker 1we say it, that's our whole intro. Yeah is like we're. We're a mess, just like you, and maybe you're not a mess, but we really don't want to. We want more people to know that all the things that are going through are real Right, because I think more people are like us than like Brooke Rebuild or whatever her name is Right. I do want the red lipstick, but it would look weird on me. Yeah, like every day, every day. So at Disneyland she went to the store to get the red lipstick and I was like, should I go to CVS? To the phone.
Speaker 2I know.
Speaker 1We're literally brainwashed, even with flights, like we're being brainwashed to be scared of these things and we're being brainwashed to to believe these things. Like it's crazy what the phones that's what church was about this week was anxiety and how we're anxious because we're on screens and we're listening to everything around us and it's making us anxious and we're not like following peace, which we were going to talk about today.
Speaker 2But we can talk about everything else. Do we have time? No, I sent. I sent on our group chat. This morning we have a family group chat and I sent this thing that I saw on Instagram. I like screenshot it. It was like you wouldn't watch a movie of someone sitting there on their phone all day. So like, don't have that be your life.
Speaker 1Go out there and be like the main character, like go live. It was like cute the way it was worded, like no one's watching a movie of me gambling. Yes, yeah, so get off and go live, you know, and be a main character in your own life. Well, that's what kyle was like elbowing me, usually at church I'm elbowing him, yeah. And this week it was like you're on screens. It like walked through people's days, right, like how everyone wakes up and then they check their screens and then the news tells us all these things are wrong with the world and you start your day like that and then, you're yelling at your kids and you send them off, then you go to work and get yelled at by bad leaders that aren't positive.
Speaker 1And then you go home and then you're on your screens and you're cooking dinner and then you get in bed and then you want to be alone Because that's like one of my big things is instead of choosing peace and choosing to, and he's like your kids don't need social media. You don't need social media. You don't need to be slave to those things.
Speaker 2Yeah, I saw it said like something we missed it because we had a baseball tournament and then we had the cheer competition, so we missed this weekend, but we're gonna watch it. But I saw like a recap on Instagram and it said something yeah, like we're so obsessed with like being successful on social media and getting the likes and all that, that there's no peace, no peace. And it's like it's really sad for our kids.
Speaker 1I think all of us have a lot of pressure. Yeah, like I just talked about, I had all this pressure on me as a leader. Pressure, you know, because I see other teams or other realtors doing this and that and I feel like I should do that Right. And it's like our kids are in that, you know, because they are on social media. They see all these things. We drove around to go get this stupid Dubai chocolate yesterday from Zupas.
Speaker 2Oh, the Zupas Because it's trending on TikTok.
Speaker 1But I don't know. I think all that's fine. I don't think I'm not at a place where I'm going to take my kids off of social media yet, but I do think I keep them, try to keep them pretty busy so they don't have a lot of time to be on it, but I don't know if that's right either, um, but I think peace and like slowing down and not.
Speaker 1I think the biggest thing is I see a lot of influencers and we see a lot of people in our lives, too that look perfect on Instagram and then you get to know them in person and you're like Whoa, what I was seeing and what's happening is so different. Not always bad too, it's just different than what it's perceived. But I'll see couples on there that look like the happiest couples in the world and the next week they moved out and it's like you don't understand the story, right, like what happened. How did you go from a to b? Right?
Speaker 2because they weren't posting that. It was like yeah, it's getting bad. You know how would you post that, though?
Speaker 1like I can't stand my husband today yeah and I do think that's normal. Like again, that's something that people don't talk about is like you're not going to feel good about yourself every day. We talked about that last week, the struggles of trying to be healthy and fit and and do right, but you're not going to love your husband. You love your husband every day, but you don't like him all the time. Yeah, that's normal.
Speaker 1I don't like myself all the time, right, right, I like you most of the time, though that's weird, I know it's a little bit different. But like even your kids, I know You'll feel like a good mom one day and you'll feel like the worst mom the next day. And I'll feel like a good realtor and then I'll feel like the worst realtor. Then I'll feel like I'll be good with money. Then, all of a sudden, I put something on the credit card and I'm out of control again.
Speaker 1I think it's just like giving each other grace to be more honest about these things. That's what I love about our friendship is it's always the truth. Yeah, and I think a lot of people don't maybe have real people in their life that tell them you know, I was yelling at my kids all night and I feel bad, yeah. So then they feel like okay, yeah, so then they feel like okay, I've done that too. You know that's what we're trying to be here, jerking around. Yeah, so we'll be your friend, me too, our own, me too. Movement, yeah, yeah, I yell too that's crazy, though, about Ruby Frank.
Speaker 2I just cannot believe that someone actually let someone like move in and do all that.
Speaker 1It's so crazy it's so crazy and the dad is like a good man. They were a good family. But I think it's like another testament to like be careful what you let in your life, in all areas oh, you have to be so protective.
Speaker 2I'm very protective. I feel like of my you know I could be better.
Speaker 1You've gotten better yeah, everybody, I'm like I love you no, it's great, though it's good to be loving no. I can be more loving we could be we help each other.
Speaker 2Be more the other way, yeah, but no, I do think you have to be protective of what? Because you just, and even what you're doing, you know.
Speaker 1Well, with 75 Hard, I took out a lot of things in my life. Like I stopped watching reality TV, I was careful what I listened to. We don't realize what we're putting in our bodies.
Speaker 2Yeah, just like Garbage in, garbage out. Yeah.
Speaker 1Like all those things. But I things, but I haven't gotten off social media yet, I don't really watch it that much. But I do do other weird things like play casino games on my phone yeah, that's fine. I don't know if it's fine. Anyways, we'll see you next week, guys, have a good week. Have a good week. Welcome to jerking around a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and crystal makes fun of me and it's. And it's great and it's real.