When What Use To Fit, No Longer Fits!

Have you ever looked around and realized that something that once felt right no longer fits?

In this deeply personal episode of Elevate Your Confidence with Lynada Marshae, Lynada opens up about navigating a season of growth, grief, and transition. She shares what it feels like when God begins stretching you beyond what is familiar. When relationships shift, priorities change, old mindsets no longer serve you, and the person you’re becoming doesn’t quite fit the life you once knew.

Together, we’ll explore why growth often feels uncomfortable, why we resist releasing what we’ve outgrown, and how God sometimes calls us to let go of what was good so we can embrace what is next.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, uncomfortable, or unsure of why things don’t feel the same anymore, this conversation is for you. Maybe you’re not lost. Maybe you’re growing. Maybe God is simply making room.

 In this episode:
 • Recognizing when something has shifted
 • Why we resist what we’ve outgrown
 • Releasing what cannot go with us
 • Becoming comfortable with growth
 • A practical challenge to help you embrace your next season

Remember, just because something fit you before doesn’t mean it was meant to fit you forever.

Before you go, let’s stay connected! You can follow me on all social media platforms at @LynadaMarshae for encouragement, confidence-building content, podcast updates, and more.

And if you’re ready to take the next step in your personal growth journey, visit my website at www.lynadamarshae.com to learn more about one-on-one coaching, upcoming events, resources, and ways we can work together.

I’d love to connect with you beyond the podcast. And remember, fear has no place on our journey to purpose. 💜

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hey family, welcome back to another episode of Elevate Your Confidence with Lenata Marshea, where fear has no place on our journey to purpose. I'm your host, your girl, Lenata Marshea. And as always, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so grateful that you decided to come back and spend some time with me today. Thank you again. Listen, so many of you have reached out and was like, Lenata, where is the next episode? When is it being released? And I'm gonna be honest, this episode took a little longer to release because truthfully, I'm literally walking through this thing in real time. And I'll be honest, this has been a challenging season for me. Um, not necessarily because I didn't have anything to say, but because I'm literally in the middle of the lesson while God is telling me to release it. I kept thinking and I kept asking God, like, how do I release something when I'm still processing it myself? Like, how why why do I have to talk to other people about this? And I'm still in the middle of it myself. And the Lord has really been dealing with me about letting go of seasons that no longer fit me. And it's been challenging. Um trying to stop holding on to things and people and places and versions of myself that no longer align with where God has taken me. And I'm gonna keep it real. I have been grieving this season. Like I have literally been grieving, and I've been grieving a season that I'm no longer in. It's been it's been tough. It's been tough. Um, you know, sometimes we think grief only comes with death, right? But that's not always the case. It's not always the case. Sometimes grief comes when God starts stretching you beyond what's familiar. And sometimes grief comes when doors close, sometimes grief comes when relationships end or shift. Um, grief can come when routines change, or when you realize you can't go back to being who you used to be. And that's where I'm at right now. That's where I'm at. So um, but there comes a point where we have to release the things that no longer serves us. Yeah, the things that no longer fit our purpose, um, our growth, our next level. And the hard part is even when God is calling you higher, it can still hurt to let go. It can still hurt to let go. But if we're going to elevate into the next season, if we're going to grow into everything God is calling us to be and do, then we have to loosen our grip on what no longer belongs in this season. What no low no longer belongs in this chapter that we're in. And I'm going to try not to cry because when I say it's been challenging, like I mean that. It has been challenging. I've cried, I've prayed, I've laughed, I've cried some more and prayed some more, and I'm just in a season of grieving. And I'm not grieving the dead, as I stated before, but grieving what no longer serves me and what no longer fits me. And I hope that makes sense to someone listening out there. So today's episode is entitled When What Used to Fit No Longer Fits. Let's talk about it. I know Facebook is really good for um showing memories as well as Snapchat if you have those platforms. But sometimes you look at those pictures and smile because of the memories, but other times you look at them and think, wow, I'm no longer that person. And when you look at it, not from a physical perspective, you know, but realizing that mentally you're no longer that person. Emotionally, you're no longer that person. And even spiritually, you know, you look at who you were and realize that your thinking has changed, your priorities have changed, your confidence has changed, and even maybe the things that matter to you most have changed. And now here's what's interesting to me. We expect growth physically, right? We expect children to grow out of their clothes. We expect people as they age to mature, we hope, right? Nobody gets upset because a child can no longer wear what they wore at the age of three. You don't see people out here fussing and saying, why my 15-year-old no longer can fit this size 5T.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

You don't hear that. You don't hear it because growth is expected.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

And as a child grows in age, it's expected that they will change and grow physically. But for some reason, when it comes to our lives, when it comes to our purpose, when it comes to our faith journey and even our identity, growth can make us uncomfortable and it can also make people around us uncomfortable too. And today, I want to talk about that discomfort. I want to talk about what happens when what used to fit no longer fits. I think one of the hardest parts about growth is recognizing when God is shifting you before your mind fully catches up to it. Because growth usually doesn't arrive with a big announcement. Growth doesn't arrive with the big sign. Most of the time it enters quietly. Sometimes growth starts with feeling uncomfortable in places where you once felt comfortable. It starts when conversations you used to enjoy suddenly feel draining to you. It starts when things you once tolerated begin bothering your spirit. And at first, we often think something is wrong with us because that's what I was thinking. Like I was literally asking myself, why do I feel like this? Why do I feel disconnected? Why are things that I used to tolerate I'm no longer tolerating? And some of you may be feeling that same way. But what if nothing is wrong? What if what you're feeling isn't confusion? What if what you're feeling is growth? Because growth often feels like relentlessness before it feels like clarity. Let's take a look at scripture. Let's look at Isaiah 43, verses 18 and 19. And I'm reading from the NIV, and it says, Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up, do not, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Now I want to sit there for a moment because I love this scripture. God says, see, I am doing a new thing. He doesn't say I'm repairing an old thing. Not that he can't. He doesn't say I'm taking you backwards. He says, I'm doing something new. And I wonder how many of us are asking God for something new while still trying to remain comfortable in something old. And maybe that's where the real struggle is. Maybe that's where the real struggle begins. Not when we realize something has changed, but when we're faced with the decision of whether we're willing to let it go. Because if we're honest, just because we outgrow something doesn't mean immediately we let that thing go. Sometimes we know we've outgrown certain situations. We know that we've outgrown certain mindsets, even certain environments, or even versions of ourselves, but we keep trying to revisit anyway. We keep trying to revisit it anyway. And why? Why do we do that? And it took me a while to figure this one out. I'll be honest, it did. But it finally hit me. And it's because it was familiar. It's familiar. Because familiar feels safe. Most of the time, familiar feels safe. And can we talk about that for a minute? Familiar has a way of making us feel secure. Even when what's familiar has never actually been good for us. And sometimes familiar can be fear. Sometimes familiar can be overthinking. It could be us settling. Um, it could even be constantly needing validation from everybody around us. And because we've carried it for so long, we start believing it belongs to us. I want you to think about that. How many things have we carried for years, years, simply because we got used to carrying them? How many thoughts have we accepted because they stayed around long enough that we started calling them part of our personality? Have you ever told yourself, oh, I've always been shy? I've always struggled with confidence. I've always been the one people overlooked. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself whether that's actually who you are, or whether that's just who you had to become in a particular season? Let's take a look at another scripture. Um, Philippians 3, verses 13 and 14, it reads also from the NIV, it says, Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Now, Paul doesn't say he mastered everything. He doesn't say he had it all together, he had it all figured out. He says there's one thing that he had to intentionally do, and that was stop looking backward. Because you can't constantly move forward while emotionally living in yesterday. You can't keep driving while staring in the rear view mirror. Because what? You're gonna eventually crash. And if we keep looking back, we're gonna eventually miss where God is trying to take us. Right? We're gonna miss it. And can I be honest with you? I said it earlier and I'll say it again. There have been seasons, actually, I'm in the season where I found myself wanting to revisit the old version of myself. And not because I wanted to go backward, but simply because it was familiar. It was familiar to me. I knew how to survive there. I knew the expectations there, I knew how to function there. But surviving and thriving are two completely different things. And eventually there comes a moment when growth demands a response. There comes a moment when growth demands a response. And that's where I am. It's not requiring another prayer, it's not requiring another confirmation, it's not requiring another sign, it's requiring a response. And can I tell you what I'm learning? Every season of growth comes with a release. Every single season of growth comes with a release. We love to talk about what God is adding to our lives, but we don't talk enough about what He asks us to leave behind. Because sometimes the greatest obstacle to our next season isn't what's lacking, it's what we're still carrying. And I think this is another place where many of us get stuck. Not because we don't recognize that God is doing something new. We see the shift. We feel the discomfort. We know something is changing, but the real question becomes: are we willing to release what can no longer go where God has taken us? Because growth is already happening. The invitation is whether we'll make room for it. I want us to think about traveling for a moment. Those of you who catch flights, if you're preparing to get on a flight, there are certain things that you can carry with you in your carry-on bag and certain things that you can't. You can forget that you have your favorite lotion in your bag, and it could be oversized. It could be something that you love, something that you value, something that you feel that's very important. But if it exceeds the limit or exceeds their requirement, eventually you're going to have to make a choice. You're going to have to make a decision. You're either going to leave some things behind, or you're not going to move forward the way you intended to your gate, right? And I think life can work the same way. Sometimes we keep asking God for bigger and better while we're still carrying things that belong to a previous season. We're asking God for peace while holding on to worry. We're asking God for more confidence while continuing to repeat every insecurity we've believed about ourselves. We ask God for healing while constantly reopening wounds that He's already been trying to close. And I think sometimes we assume God is withholding things from us, but when in reality, God may be saying, I need you to put some things down first. Because the issue isn't that I can't bless you with more. The issue is that your hands are already full. And sometimes the very thing standing between us and our next season isn't a closed door. It's our unwillingness to release what no longer belongs in this one. Because some of us are carrying opinions that don't belong to us anymore. Some of us are carrying disappointments that happened years ago. We're carrying labels that were placed on us by people who never had authority to define us in the first place. And after a while, we stop questioning it because carrying it becomes normal. We have to let that stuff go. We gotta let it go. Sometimes we carry something so long that we forget there was ever a version of us without it. We forget what it feels like to live without fear, making decisions for us. We forget what it feels like to move without needing everybody's approval. We forget what it feels like to believe in ourselves without second guessing every single thing, every single step, every single move we make. Let's look at another scripture, Hebrews chapter 12, verse 1. Again, reading from NIV, it says, Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. I love this scripture because it doesn't simply say throw off the obvious things. It says throw off everything that hinders you.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

So that means anything slowing our growth, anything delaying our healing, and anything constantly pulling us backwards. Anything that hinders you.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

That's what it says. And maybe you're saying, Lenata, my issue isn't identifying what needs to go. Maybe you're even saying my issue isn't even releasing it. Maybe your real struggle is becoming comfortable with who you're becoming after you've let it go. You've let it go, but you're struggling with who you're becoming because once you release what no longer fits, you're still face to face with a new version of yourself. Yep. You're left face to face with a new version of yourself, and if we're honest, that could feel uncomfortable as well. It can be very much unfamiliar, and it could even feel lonely at times because you feel like you don't know this version of yourself, no one else knows this version of yourself either. And not because you're doing something wrong, but because you're growing. You're growing. And I'll be the first to tell you that growth can feel strange. I'm telling y'all, growth can feel so strange. We love the idea of growth until growth actually starts changing us. Yeah. We love praying for increase. We do. We love praying for purpose, we love praying for uh, you know, God to elevate us and asking God to take us to another level, but we don't always think about the fact that growth changes our perspective. And as we grow, things begin to shift. As we grow, things begin shifting, conversations shift, priorities shift, our habits shift, and sometimes even relationships, they shift. And when those things start changing, it's easy to wonder if something is wrong with us. It's very easy to wonder that. And sometimes people around you even notice it before you do. Have you ever had somebody tell you, oh girl, you've changed. You're changing. And immediately we become uncomfortable because we tend to hear change as criticism. But changing isn't always a bad thing. It's not. And if we're honest, we actually expect growth everywhere else. Everywhere else, we expect growth. Like I said earlier, we expect children to grow. We expect uh students to learn, right? We expect people to mature. We even celebrate promotions at work because promotion means development has happened, right? We celebrate accomplishments all the time. Accomplishments mean some progression has happened, but then we get uncomfortable when growth starts happening inside of us, and maybe that's That's because internal growth isn't always visible at first. Sometimes growth starts in your thinking before it shows up in your life. Sometimes your perspective changes before your environment changes. And sometimes God starts renewing your mind before he changes anything around you. Let's take a look at another scripture, uh, Romans 12, verse 2, again, NIV. It says, Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will. Transformation begins in the mind. Before confidence shows up publicly, confidence begins internally. Before purpose shows up externally, purpose starts developing internally. And maybe that's uh where some of you are today. Maybe you're in the middle of becoming. Maybe things feel unfamiliar right now because you're stepping into a version of yourself you've never met before. And I want you to hear me clearly you're not losing yourself. You're becoming you're not losing yourself, you're becoming there's one thing I hope you hear from today's conversation. One thing I hope you hear.

unknown 23:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

Just because something fit you before doesn't mean it was meant to fit you forever. All right. Just because something fit you before doesn't mean it was meant to fit you forever. Some things are seasonal. Some things uh served a purpose, some things help you survive a particular season of your life, but surviving and thriving are not the same thing. And I believe there comes a moment where God starts inviting us beyond survival mode. Maybe what you've been feeling lately isn't confusion.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

Maybe what we've been feeling isn't distance.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

Maybe it isn't something that's wrong with us.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Just maybe God is simply making room. Maybe God is making room. And if that's where you are today, you're not losing yourself.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

You may simply be outgrowing a season that was never meant to last forever. And while that process can feel uncomfortable, it can also be something so beautiful. Because every time God asks us to release something, he's creating space for something greater. Every time he closes a chapter, he's preparing us for the next one. So instead of fighting the discomfort, I'm telling you what I know. Instead of fighting the discomfort, maybe it's time to get curious curious about it. Maybe it's time to ask God, what are you trying to teach me?

SPEAKER_01 25:37

What are you trying to show me? What are you making room for in my life? What are you making room for in my life?

SPEAKER_03 25:51

Before we close today, I want us to do something that we always do here. I want us to take what we heard and make it personal.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Right. I want you to sit with this question that I have for you.

SPEAKER_03 26:10

I don't want you to rush through it. I don't want you to give yourself a quick answer and just move on. I want you to really write it down and sit with it. And the question I have for you is what would happen if I gave myself permission to grow.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

What would happen if you give yourself permission to grow?

SPEAKER_03 26:41

Sometimes the biggest obstacle standing in our way isn't other people. Sometimes it's the permission we've never given ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Give yourself permission to grow. You deserve it. Give yourself permission to grow.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

I want to pray for you before we close out. Heavenly Father, thank you for every person listening today. Thank you for every person who pressed play on this episode and found themselves somewhere in this conversation. Father, I pray for the person who has been feeling uncomfortable lately and didn't understand why. I pray for the person who has been questioning themselves because things no longer feel the same. I pray for the person who feels like they're in transition and doesn't quite understand what you're doing. Remind them that growth isn't punishment. Father, remind them that growth isn't rejection. Remind them, Father, that growth isn't abandonment. And Father, help us to trust you in seasons that feel unfamiliar. Give us courage to release things that no longer belong in our season or even in our next season. Help us to stop shrinking. Help us to stop doubting and stop returning to versions of ourselves that you have already called us beyond. Father, we thank you. Remind us that our identity is found in you and that we are becoming exactly who you created us to be. Father, we love you and we thank you for everything that you're doing in us and for us. In Jesus' name. Amen. Listen, thank you so much for joining me on another episode of Elevate Your Confidence with Lenata Marche, where fear has no place on our journey to purpose. If today's episode has encouraged you and blessed you in any way, please take a screenshot, share it on your social media uh platforms and tag me at Lenata Marche. I absolutely love hearing what speaks to you and seeing your posts. Thank you so much to those who have inboxed me, sent a message, left a review. I appreciate you so, so, so much. Um, be sure to follow me across all social media platforms so that we can stay connected and you can see what's happening in my world for additional resources. And if you're looking for some one-on-one coaching sessions and more ways to continue your confidence journey, uh be sure to visit my website at www.lanata marche.com. That's www.com. All right, and remember, some things stop fitting because God is making room for what does. I love you, family, and there's nothing you can do about it. I'll see you next time.