From Rock Bottom to Rebuilding Empires

This is the raw, unfiltered story you didn’t know you needed today. Nicole went from sleeping on rooftops at 14 to becoming a powerhouse mortgage strategist and business owner — all while balancing motherhood, rebuilding after heartbreak, and redefining what success really means.

In this viral-worthy episode of The Stellar Talk Show, we dive deep into resilience, money mindset, and why saying NO can be your most powerful business move. Nicole shares her journey of survival, struggle, and unstoppable growth — proving that your comeback can always be stronger than your setback.

Whether you’re a first-time homebuyer, a new immigrant, a woman in business, or someone starting over, this episode will light a fire in you to get up, rebuild, and thrive.

🚀 Listen now and join thousands who are turning pain into power, fear into freedom, and dreams into action!

resilience stories, women in finance, mortgage tips, motherhood journey, mindset shift, business comeback, authentic entrepreneurship, real estate advice, wealth building, financial freedom, female entrepreneurs

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:22

When I heard your story, that actually gives me a lot of inspiration.

SPEAKER_01: 0:28

I was uh pretty much on my own. Where I would sleep in parks. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00: 0:34

Looking at you, I would never imagine that you have that backstory for yourself. I am who I am, and I'm proud of that. And I am very proud of who you have become, Nicole. You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice. Today's guest, Nicole Ferrugia, is living proof of that. She went from sleeping on rooftops at age 15 to spending nearly two decades in law to building a thriving mortgage business, all while overcoming personal heartbreak, fertility struggles, postpartum depression, and having to rebuild everything from scratch in one of the toughest markets we've ever seen. But here's the part that will make you lean in that Nicole doesn't just share the highlights. She's here to give you the real story, the messy middle and the mindset shift, and the strategies that helped her go from survival mode to a life of purpose, profit and power. So whether you're a first-time homebuyer, a new immigrant building a fresh start in this country, or someone who just needs proof that you can come back from anything, this episode is your permission slip to rights. Stay with us because what Nicole is about to share might just be the spark that ignites your next chapter. Hi Nicole, welcome back to the show. Thank you for helping me again. Oh, most definitely. Nicole, when I heard your story, that actually gives me a lot of inspiration. So take us back to like, you know, to the young Nicole. Tell us all about it.

SPEAKER_01: 2:08

Okay, well, we're going back to when I was 15 years old. I was uh pretty much on my own. And I had some very challenging times, but I I attribute it all to who I am today. So definitely no regrets there. But um, but yes, I was on my own. It was shortly after my 15th birthday. Um, and I had very many evenings and many nights where I would sleep in parks. Um, when it was really cold, I would sleep, I would sneak into there was a high-rise apartment building and I would sneak into there and I would climb all the way up. I would get my exercise, climb all the way up to the top floor, and like right before where you get to the roof, basically, there's like a mechanical kind of room and area. Yeah. And uh and I would sleep there. And um, if you were to ask any of my kind of friends from from from back in the day, nobody really knew what was happening. I didn't, it wasn't um, it wasn't an embarrassment thing. I think I just didn't want anyone to know or to feel sorry for me or anything like that. So I uh yeah, I just kind of kept it very, very quiet. So there'd be a day where I'd be like visiting in my friends, having my you know, over my friends for dinner. And then if it was one of those evenings where you know I didn't couldn't go home and or anything like that, then I would go to my one of two places depending on where I was.

SPEAKER_00: 3:27

Oh wow. Looking at you, I would never imagine that you have that backstory for yourself. And this is why I tell everybody like you know, no matter who you meet, everybody carries the story for you. You never know.

SPEAKER_01: 3:39

And I always say like be nice to people, you be kind, but you don't know what they're going through, right? Like, even sometimes I try to like just remind myself like you, you know, you meet somebody and they're super grumpy or they're snapping at you because you know, you I don't know, driving, something like that. And like honestly, you just you never know what they're what they're going through. Going to you, you just you never know. And I like I didn't talk about this until like last year, I think was the first time. Um I just you know, and it's what my close friends, of course, knew over the years, but I mean like I didn't really speak about this until just very recently, and I'm in my 40s, that's a long time.

SPEAKER_00: 4:14

Yeah, and that takes a lot of confidence and strength to talk about a past that is not as pretty as you would wish it was, right? Yes, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, thank you so much for taking the time to come here, you know, and you know, saying yes to sharing your story with us because that is huge, Nico. Kudos to you.

SPEAKER_01: 4:31

I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the platform to to have a voice. And the goal is to just be able to share that experience and you know, just just hopefully help somebody, right? Because if you can if you can, you know, instill in somebody that we are not just a direct result of you know our our circumstances, that we can change that path, redirect ourselves. Um, I think that's that's something that we need to we need to share. And you know, I I think for so long I was maybe worried or concerned that people would um you know maybe see me as as or feel sorry or see me as weak or things like that. I just didn't know you know what how that story would be interpreted. And uh when I finally did start to share it, I could see that people were like, oh my gosh, like and then you you inspire others to share their stories and you talk and then you you just connect that much more with people because it's so real, right?

SPEAKER_00: 5:25

That's true, that's true. Oh my god, I can't imagine sleeping on a rooftop at the age of 15, especially in Canada. The weather is like everywhere.

SPEAKER_01: 5:34

Well, that was the whole reason. So the the the the park that I um spent many nights in, um, it was uh literally a house. Like, you know, when you go to the the playgrounds and you know the kids play in the in the in the park, that's that's what it was. So um as silly as it sounds, I am so passionate about putting people in homes now because it like I I remember what that that home you know it was was to me, the meaning of it, the symbolism. Um so I remember when I bought my very first property, um, it was in my my 30s, and it was a small little condo, 500 square feet. I balled, like I sat on the floor the day that I got the keys. I had no furniture yet, like nothing. And a friend of mine was with me at the time, and I just was like, because it was so I I was so proud, I was so excited. I was like, I did this, right? So I that's how I I guess I'm very much um invested and emotionally invested in all of my clients. I love all of them equally, but my first-time home buyers especially because I have that passion.

SPEAKER_00: 6:38

Because you connect with them really well, it comes from a personal space, right? Yes, 100%. Most definitely. So tell me your your mindset at that age, Nicolette, 15 years old, a girl in Toronto in in Ontario. Um, you know, how how was that? Like, you know, how what was the mindset at that time? And what was the pivoting moment there?

SPEAKER_01: 7:00

There was definitely fear, and you know, I was I was scared for sure. But I I can say that now, but I don't know if I actually knew that at the time. And I say that because it like that was my life. That's what I that's just what I knew. Survival mode. Yes, it kicks in. And it kicks in, it's instinctual, and you know, like it I I I'm a mother, as you know, and like if I think back now and I'm like, you know, my son on his own sleeping in like I I would I would die. Like I, you know, and I so but I I didn't know any of that. You just you just exact exactly like you said, it's that survival, right? You just go, and I just remember that as as scared as I was and as you know sad as I was, and all of the feelings, you know, you feel all the feelings. I just was like this, I kept telling myself always this is temporary, like it's not always going to be like this. Like it it will get better. Yeah, I had no idea how, I just knew that I wasn't going to it wasn't gonna be like this forever.

SPEAKER_00: 8:02

Forever. Yeah, yeah. That is like no, it's very hard to have that mindset when you're in the deep bottom of things, right? And um, I think that is the mindset that you do need at that time to break through that.

SPEAKER_01: 8:16

And I don't know where it came from, if I'm being completely honest. This is where I just feel like it it is innate, like we're we're built like this, you know, in in some sort of you know, innate uh or genetics or however, like we're built certain ways. Of course, you have to to practice that, you have to, you know, otherwise you can go a different route. But like I was just I've always been like that. So given how I grew up, I was, you know, it was a a very um poor neighborhood as well, too. So there was a lot of crime, it was a lot of all of those things, and I just remember you know seeing that, and I'm just like I I don't want any of that for myself, right? It was just I was like, no, so I was a straight-A student going through you know school, working, living, like you know, trying to pay rent. I it was very difficult for me to try to even find places to to rent when I, you know, eventually um needed to. The first little while um I was living with my um with my mom. I I bounced around quite a bit, but I was living with my mom for a while. My mom has a lot of mental health issues as well, too, so that's part of where all of us kind of came from. Yeah. And um so for the first while it was it was sporadic. So it was like I wasn't sleeping, you know, for for the full, you know, year or whatever. It would be like days here, days that. And then when I eventually had to, you know, find my own place, it was so difficult because I had to, who was gonna rent to a kid? Yeah. Like nobody is, you know, so um it was it was difficult. Um, but you meet amazing people along the way, and you just like I just was like, okay, hey, I've gotta, you know, I've got to work, I've gotta hustle, I've gotta grind, and I'm actually very grateful for those things because that has transitioned or translated into, you know, again, who I am today. Um because I was I always felt like I had to work that much harder to kind of prove myself because I didn't have even when I got older in in in my legal days, I didn't have all of the degrees that everybody else had that I was competing against, you know, just because my circumstances didn't allow for that. But I was like, no, that's okay, like I can, you know, outperform people and learn as I go.

SPEAKER_00: 10:15

Yes, exactly. I learn as I go, yeah. And you know, I really like the fact that you mentioned that um it wasn't easy, but you need to be strong to get yourself there. Um, that actually very resonates with me really well because you know it wasn't like you know, I know there's a lot of people like in a lot of audience right now listening to us, they might be in that space in in their life, like it's not easy, they're just starting right now, they are lost in the process. But keep believing in yourself and keep at it, don't give up, make the right choices. I know when you come to that space, you actually get exposed to a lot of opportunities that is that may not be the right choice for you. Yes, just being very mindful about what the values that you want to uphold for yourself, which is exactly what you did, Nicola. Right? Thank you, and that that strength, that struggle that you took as a challenge to to build the life that you have built for yourself right now.

SPEAKER_01: 11:12

Thank you for thank you for for saying that. And I I I do agree wholeheartedly, and it's I think it's also I wanna I wanna emphasize that you you know we have to find a happy medium, and I don't know how because it's it's it's so difficult, but you do have to find a happy medium between you know pushing yourself and and and but not also succumbing to those fears. Because I know like for myself, if I look back, I'm very proud of what I've accomplished and I and I and I truly am grateful and proud of that. But I also know that if I didn't let myself be fueled by a lot of that fear and even like that scarcity mindset, I probably would have been further along or at least accomplished the same things I have now, but much earlier. Because even when I got into my adult um, you know, life and my career, um, wanting to be self-employed and all those kinds of things, I I just was very scared for so long that I I just didn't take a lot of those jumps because I was like all of the what ifs, right? Like it was just it was very scary. So once I got to a place where I was like stable, I'm like, okay, this is safer. This is this is safer, right? So um, you know, you you need to to allow that that fear to fuel you and push you, but also not hold you back from some of the bigger things that we know we're capable of and we have to believe we're capable of.

SPEAKER_00: 12:27

Yeah, that's beautiful. That's the beauty of strength that women hold. That's that's absolutely and we don't know we have it. We don't know we have it. We don't maybe we do to an extent, but we don't know. Yeah, we don't recognize it on a daily basis, but once you sit down, breathe, and look back, I'm like, that is oh my god, right? Yeah, it's it's true.

SPEAKER_01: 12:45

Like you, and you when you do the reflection, you're like, like even myself now, I speak about these things, but sometimes even if I pull myself out of my body and I listen to the story, and I again I apply it to Kai, like my son, or something, and I'm like, oh, okay, like you did you did good, you know, you pat yourself on your back because you're like wow, yeah, it it it's it's yeah, very it's you need the strength.

SPEAKER_00: 13:06

You need the strength, yeah. Most definitely, and you know, at times like that, when you are in that moment, um hearing like no, it's not only you, other people went through similar journeys like you did, and they made it, and how they made it, what was the mindset, what was the strategy, what was the goal, those are game changes, and that's exactly why this platform actually brings much value to the audience because that's exactly what we share.

SPEAKER_01: 13:32

It's inspiration and people can see. Like, I'm a firm believer, and I kind of said it earlier, like we can redirect ourselves, like we are not just the automatic result of our circumstances, right? Like, if I look back to majority of my friends and the people who I had in my life at that time when I was so young, sadly, majority of them did not take a similar route as as I did, right? And and it's because they're just like this is this is my life, this is this is the norm, right? And and there is absolutely no judgment. I I mean that in no way, I just mean like you have to truly believe that no, I can change this, even when you don't know how, because that's the that's the biggest thing. Yeah, I had no idea. I just knew I wasn't gonna, it was temporary, right?

SPEAKER_00: 14:13

Yeah, but you just you believed in it and you kept that. That's the part. Exactly. No kudos to you, Nicole. Hearing this, I know I had a lot of respect for you since I got to know you, but it actually grew like in tremendous amounts, you know, after hearing your story and what you have achieved throughout that journey. Thank you. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. Uh, let's talk about uh your um career part. So from that to getting to you mentioned that you were in legal before getting into uh finances and mortgages. Tell us a little bit about that. How did that uh shift happen from where you are? How did how were you able to get yourself from there to somewhere that you can call call that you are now employed? Yeah, and how did that shift happen?

SPEAKER_01: 14:53

For sure. So the the legal um was something I was always passionate about. So so that was that was my thing. Like I I love to educate, to teach people, um, you know, just that whole justice, like I loved all that. So when I was in high school, um I I took you know all the um elective courses, I did a lot of the law courses. Um and then when you I think you're 15 when I did my first co-op course, like the the placement, so I did that, and um I I don't know, beg or harass is the right word, but I made sure that I got a job after because when I when the co-op placement was done, it was like six months, and I literally asked if I could if I could be hired. And the lawyer at the time was like, You're you're too young, like you know, I I I you know I can't have you know, it was a co-op placement, and that was it.

SPEAKER_00: 15:37

How old were you, if you don't mind?

SPEAKER_01: 15:39

I think I was either 15 or 16 at the time. I want to say maybe I think it was 16. Yeah, because how grade, I guess, maybe grade 10? I can't remember, but I was pretty sure I was I was 16, was the first time I got exposed to it. And then within that period of time, I took the bus every day to this was after the co-op. I took the bus every single day to go like until she hired me, basically. It's like I need to, I have this passion, I don't care if I have to answer phones, like I just I want to do this. So um I did that uh and I I just I loved it, you know, right right away. I had exposure to criminal law, immigration, family law, all that kind of stuff, some real estate. Um, but then um a couple years later, again, I was just always in in that field, still going to school. Um, then I had the opportunity to uh work for some very big firms in in um downtown Charles, like in the path in the financial district. Okay. So that's where I spent the majority of my career. And that was just really like head down grinding, you know, kind of you know, proving myself. Um, and because I started so young, I advanced fairly quickly. I spent about 18 years in total, but um it was one of those things where I just kind of capped out, right? Like I had I was, you know, managing teams, doing all these kinds of things. I had basically kind of you know built um a firm as well too with some partners. And so it was one of those things where I was like, but what now? So if I'm being honest, when it comes to where I am now, finance, I I don't even like numbers. Like I did not expect to ever be here, but it was a calling for me, and I say that because it just naturally happened. So fast forward to I eventually got the strength to um kind of quit the firms, and I was consulting in the legal space. I had a lot of business and operations, business management experience just from all of that experience over the years. So I ended up um helping a friend of mine who was a mortgage broker who was trying to be basically become a builder and do um a bunch of you know work in that scene, so I had exposure there, and then um word kind of just got round. Um I had a previous business partner and I started working with her and was you know helping scale the business. And as I was kind of overseeing things from an operations perspective, I would just naturally start to get referrals because people that were speaking to me would be like, oh, you know, sending me business, and I'm like, this this wasn't the intention, like that wasn't what I was planning on doing, but I I realized that I was actually helping people, like by just being genuine and being honest, like people wanted to deal with me, yeah, and I'm a firm believer that you can teach anyone the textbook um basics of any industry. It's it's like in our industry, for example, anybody can learn to be, you know, but it's it's dealing with people, it's it's the people skills, it's the stuff that you can't teach, right? That is so important. And so uh I just kept you know kind of naturally, like I said, getting referrals and stuff. And I was like, okay, well maybe maybe I've got something here. Yeah. And it just kind of organically happened, and and and here I am. And even um, I went through a period of time where uh I know we'll probably talk about this, but I I I lost everything. I kind of had to decide how I was going to rebuild my life, and I thought about possibly going back into legal. I did question, you know, do I want to be here, what do I want to do? And I was like, no, this is this is my this is my thing.

SPEAKER_00: 18:51

Yeah, and I knew absolutely best at it. So yes, yes, yes, I tried, yeah, yeah, that's amazing. You know, that that mindset of evolving and learning as you go, uh, I think that's key, especially in today's economy, too. Like, you know, you may have a lot of degrees and everything, which is great, awesome, you know, good, good for you, but you know, applying that knowledge and you know, keep evolving because everything is changing every single day with technology, AI, this and that. That's what you need to be doing.

SPEAKER_01: 19:20

Yes, and that's exactly you have to always be at the top of your game. Like, I hear all these things all the time that people are worried about, like, you know, AI replacing us, and all like it you can never replace a person and and that like sure you can you know replace certain tasks and things like that, but it's it's just it's not the same as somebody who genuinely cares if you who's going to look out for you and stay up to date with with everything and understand how to apply it to your specific situation, right? So many days on every single day I would say I'm having conversations with people and I'm hearing certain things that the average person would say is not relevant to what I'm doing, but because I would know, like, okay, they're they're they're planning for a baby or they're going for through fertility or they're doing this or they're doing that. I'm like, these are the things that I'm gonna take and apply into what I'm going to structure for them. Exactly. AI is not gonna be able to do that, right? So again, it compliments, sure. Compliments it, yeah. You know, this is where again, you know, really being in a people-first business, the the brokerage that I that I am with, and we say like we're in the people business, we just happen to do mortgages, right?

SPEAKER_00: 20:21

Yeah, I think um just because we are on the topic of AI here, like you know, we just went out of uh out of subject. I know, but uh to become the person that AI can't replace. That's exactly it, 100%. 100%, that's exactly it. Yeah, so tell me Nicole, um, so you went into employment, you went into legal, and you know, accidentally got into the finance aspect of it. How was your um uh mindset and what was your strategy moving from uh employee to now entrepreneurship?

SPEAKER_01: 20:51

I was terrified, honestly. I was terrified, like no matter how strong you are, and no matter how far I've come, there's always that little girl there. There's always that little girl who was back in the park who's scared of losing everything and you know don't want to go back there. So for me, I was very successful in the legal field and it was safe for me. And I had a steady paycheck coming in, and I even when I got into my consulting role, like it was I I like people knew me in that industry. I was a you know an expert, I was good. Um, but I actually have to give you know kudos and you know a shout out to to my ex, my my son's father, because in full transparency, I think finally having a support system and somebody that I didn't realize, and even I have like the most amazing friends that I am so grateful for that I've had forever, yeah, that were like you you got this, Nicole, like you got this, and like you need you need to do this, like you need to do something more. So I think just finally having that support system and trusting them, like listening to them and trusting them, and I'm like, okay, you know what the people that love you are telling you this, you know, they're they're not gonna steer you in the right direction. So it was just taking that that leap, but it took me a very long time to do it because I was just so scared. Like, it wasn't that I didn't have confidence in myself and my ability, it was that the what ifs were louder in my head.

SPEAKER_00: 22:08

Always the what ifs are always louder, yes, yeah. But you know, it does, you know, having your voice over that is the part.

SPEAKER_01: 22:15

Trying to be louder. I like to think I'm fairly loud, but yeah, it didn't, it was it was hard. So, you know, I'm so grateful that they gave me that push to do that because as soon as I as soon as I did, it it like I it was, you know, it was I knew it was it was the right calling for me. Um and then I just kind of you know grew from there. And you know, when I went through the period, so I I you know kind of fast forward, I was in that consulting space for a while, I was self-employed, um, and then I went through some very challenging times a couple years ago where I went through a personal separation with my um my son's father, and I think as a woman, not even as a woman, you know, male or female, but you know when that's coming, like you you know when things are you know kind of you know falling apart, and you you you just know it's not a surprise for the most part, like unless something specific happened. In my case, nothing specific happened, so you knew so you kind of have time to prepare for that. You're never fully prepared, you still gotta deal with the emotions, but I knew that was happening. Um but in my case, I the way I planned to kind of heal through that and and and do all of that was to continue to push myself in my business, and I was at the top of my my business in my career with my business partner at the time, and so very quickly and very unexpectedly that took a turn, and so I basically found myself losing both of that and walking away from all of that within like a six-month period, and um my son was very young, I was dealing with postpartum that nobody knew about, and I I felt like I was a disaster, like it just felt like you're at that rock bottom, basically, and and I think you know this. I come from a boxing background, so I use a lot of that terminology. I was ready to throw in the towel, yeah. Um, but I think that's something as a mom as well, too. You don't have that luxury anymore, right? Like you you you can't, you can't, right? Like you're just like well, suck it up, Nicole, because we gotta figure this out.

SPEAKER_00: 24:12

You just you're just single, single person all this time, like girlfriend, wife, you know, whichever role you're in, all of a sudden, boom, now you're adding another role into that part. Yeah, now you're a mom. Yeah, and it cut doesn't come with the manual, you know, at all. Doesn't and you and you know, learn as learning as you go is a very good skill to have, but this is the hardest time that you go through learning as you go, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 24:36

And and it's such a like a rush of emotion, and you know, um my my son, I think I've I've told you this, like it was my miracle baby. I you know, I went through fertility to to to have him, and I was like, he's my everything, and um adorable.

unknown: 24:53

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 24:54

I like to think so. Um, but you know, having him it was the the happiest time of my life, and yet I think that was the biggest part of postpartum as well, too, is that I couldn't tell or understand why I I wasn't happy. I was at you know the peak of my career, I was doing great, and you know, you're just so confused. And I think as a strong woman and as of you know, you've gone through so many challenging things, or you've been through so many challenging things, I'm like, what's my problem? Like, what's what's the problem, right? And so in my case, I just didn't even stop to understand what was happening with me. It wasn't like I was trying to ignore it. Like I just it, I was like, okay, well, I don't I don't feel well today, or I'm not, you know, I have no energy today, I can't get out of bed today. Well, too bad, you you gotta go, right? So, and I think that's the thing too, when you have people depending on you, yeah, it that's that's a natural, you know, force. You just I was not gonna let my my my family down, my team down, my partner down. So, you know, you just you just go, but it was it was so difficult for me to understand why it was the happiest thing that ever happened to me was you know, my my son being able to provide and have this career, but still, you know, not feeling like I was happy or not feeling like I was doing enough for everybody, right? So I've learned over the years we have to give ourselves grace. Like we can't, as as women, as business, you know, mom entrepreneurs, all these things, you it's okay to not have it all together all the time.

SPEAKER_03: 26:17

No, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 26:18

And and to not like there's so many days where it's like, and I'm sure you're the exact same way, where it's like you feel like you're at the top of your game in your business, you're like, I got this, I'm good, and then you feel like you're failing as a mom, or or vice versa, right? It was so hard. People, it drives me crazy. I hear talking about balance all the time. Yeah, there's no there's no balance. Like you do your best, you do your best. And some days, you know, you're 10 out of 10, and some days maybe you're a two and you hang out with five for you know half the time, and that's okay, right?

SPEAKER_00: 26:43

You do no, I hear you. Like when you're telling me this, I'm actually going like it's it's replaying in my head, is what I went through during postpartum as well. I think you know, the the str the struggle or the or or where we need to focus is when we are strong women, Nicole. Everybody that's surrounded by us, they all think, oh, she got this. Yes, you know, if she came through so much. What is this? Yes, you know, she got this, she doesn't need my support, and the and the and what add full to the fire is as strong women, we never ask. You nailed it, that's exactly it. We never ask, right? We we are so not used to asking for help, we always believe, okay, I got this, and now they're thinking she got this, I think I got this in the end. Like you struggle in silence, and you know, until you hit that maximum peak and you break down, yeah, they're like, I never knew you're going through it.

SPEAKER_01: 27:40

Yes, a hundred percent. It's it's so true, and that's where I'm like, we have to take responsibility for that because like I know even my my in my own personal circumstances, like I I was fortunate enough to have people say, like, are you good? Are you and but they you know, people are gonna get tired of asking you if you're good if you keep saying you're fine all the time, and you know, and then we realize we're we're not, and then for me it was like again, I would kept kept equating it to you've been through so much and you are fine through that.

SPEAKER_00: 28:07

How are you not fine now? Yeah, this is what you wanted all your life, now you have it. What's wrong now? Exactly. This is the question you will keep asking yourself, but you don't you will not ask it out loud in the fear of okay, no, I got this, yeah, right? But I think that's where, like, not only as strong women, we need we should have awareness, Nico, and anybody who's going through that, also the family and the friends around them should have awareness. Like, yes, they just had a baby, give them the space, you know, whatever, but be available, just let them know. Hey, if you need to talk, I'm here, I'm all ears. If you need a coffee, let me know, I can pick you up. Like, you know, hey, if you want a break while your baby, you know, I can I can come in, I can take care of the baby for one day. So these little things are very important, especially when you're going through postpartum.

SPEAKER_01: 28:54

So it's so important. And like I remember before I I had my son again because I kind of had I had him later in life with everything that I was going through, and um I always pictured and dreamed that I would be the mom enjoying my mat leaf to the fullest, like you know, parks and I just and I didn't have a mat leaf because I was self-employed, yeah, yeah. And so I was doing deals from my hospital bed, and I don't say that because I'm proud of that, it's just that's what it was. And so my um my son's father um worked for the government, so was able to take you know, regular, you know, pat leave and all those kinds of things, and I remember like being I have this one image in my head where I remember like I was in between meetings on the road, I was pumping with my my milk for my son in the back of my car seat in between meetings, and my my son's dad called to tell me something that my son did, and I was just bawling. Like I acted like I was okay, and then I hung up and I was calling like bawling because I was so like I was just you're exhausted, I was you know sad. I'm like, I just want to enjoy a Matt leave, and I just want

SPEAKER_00: 30:00

to be home and do all these things and it was like it was it was crazy and I remember one of the like challenges and conversations I had with my ex at the time too was like you know it's hard taking care of being at home and taking care of a child and all these kinds of things and I'm like well I would give anything to trade that right because I I you know you're juggling everything right so it's like it's it's it's tough and you just go through all the emotions and then having the postpartum emotional roller coaster as it is just enhances everything right so we're like oh I feel like a crazy person but we're not crazy yeah no not only you Nicole like a lot of us who went through a postpartum we all feel that at one point or another we just don't talk about it it's like the it's like the the mommy guilt that we try to hide. It's real it's so real that in the in the mom brain the brain falls that never comes back that's you yes but you know like to hear that you're very open to share that because you know um I don't I haven't met many women who will talk openly about their personal experience I know we want to talk about um rainbows and unicorns and butterflies yeah but we don't actually talk about the the good bad and the ugly and and um it's it takes a lot of courage for Nicole for you to come and share that with me and thank you so much for doing that so tell me like you know you went through during all that in business too we were going through a very tough market that we have seen in the industry like in the real estate mortgage industry like how were you able to manage all that and also thrive in the in the business world I think it really just came down to honing into who I am my core values and what I want so regardless of you know the the worst markets there's there's always going to be business people always like that's where we're fortunate in our like people people need a house to live people need a roof over their head like there's so that's where it's like we have to figure out how we can you know take some of that limited market share and how can you and for me it was really like I just I'm just gonna be me like I it that's it and and I am not gonna be everybody's cup of tea um and that's okay like I was okay with that I just I with all of that that I went through I just was really proud and you know respected who I was as a woman as a business leader.

SPEAKER_01: 32:22

I'm like listen I'm just gonna lead with authenticity and you know sincerity and and I if if I can help people I will and I I started once I started to to flip my that switch and get back into that mindset that's where like I was able to like double the the the business in a matter of six months. Because when I um left my my my previous partnership I had to start from scratch like literally in the worst market. So it was one of those things where I'm like how how am I gonna do this? And so at first I got caught up for a little bit I think I um I had lost my confidence for a little while I think in full transparency that's very hard for me as a stronger woman to admit but I think losing all of that and well we'll say walking away from from all of those things you get through to a point where you're like is it me like did I do something and you kind of question yourself right so I went through all of that and then when you realize like no it's it's not like you know and you find that kind of confidence again I just was like okay well I don't need to say yes to everything. I don't need to say yes to all of this business. I just want to do business with the people who I feel that I can relate to who I feel I can you know truly help. So when I started as crazy as it sounds when I started to say no to a lot of business and just work with people who I wanted to work with that's where my business just flourished again because it was like they were you know every happy client and happy person that you speak to becomes a natural advocate for you and then ends up bringing business. So like I'm fortunate that I'm a hundred percent referral business by either my realtor partners or my clients and within two years of rebuilding my business within the first six months of the second year I was back to doing the same levels of business as I was when I was pretty much at the top of my game in a down market. Yeah yeah that's so and that's literally just because I would say no to people like this is not gonna help you. This is what and things like that. And it was so scary to do that because I was worried I was taking like and one you want to lead with sincerity sincerity but at the same time like I have to put food on the table. I have to put a roof over my head I have to work right so it was one of those things where it was like I was scared that if I kept saying no to that business I wouldn't be able to do that. But I just had to trust in the fact that after everything I've gone through I'm like I am who I am and I'm gonna lead with the kind of you know put that intention out there.

SPEAKER_00: 34:43

Exactly being authentic about yourself and also the power of saying no and you know you're absolutely right by saying that uh when I started my business too I wanted to help every single person I met but you know after some time I realized no Stella you can't do that. In some places you have to draw the line and you have to say no or we have to say okay let's regroup after a timeline because you know that is also a winning strategy. Because if you're gonna be saying yes all the time you are absolutely wasting your time and also the other person's time.

SPEAKER_01: 35:19

Exactly and like you just have to I think be honest with yourself because you and I are so similar and again as strong women our energy is is like contagious and that can be good or bad right so I would catch myself like if there was somebody who again just wasn't aligning with me or anything like that like you it's it's I felt like I couldn't be my best because I was you know so it's like you just need to say that's okay maybe I'm not the right person for you right and um the more you again lead in in that energy and you put that out there whether you want to call it manifestation or whatever the case is there's multiple terms but that is what is going to to come back to you. So I I've I wholeheartedly believe that what you put out there is what you'll receive.

SPEAKER_00: 36:00

Exactly and you know just being authentic being unique in your industry being that person who has you know the best interest at heart that's that's more valuable than saying yes to everything all the time.

SPEAKER_01: 36:12

Yes exactly like I like people thought I was crazy and some of my you know my my friends and my team at the time too like what do you what do you mean you said no to that deal? Like are like what no it doesn't it doesn't make sense I don't feel good about it I'm gonna I'm gonna say no right like it's and and and in my side of things when we're looking at referral you know partners and things like that like like yourself for example as a realtor I have to understand that if I'm saying no to you I'm not just saying no to one one deal for lack of a better way of saying it. I'm saying like that that's a whole future pipeline of business. That's a relationship right and it's very very likely that if I say no stella I'm not gonna do this you're probably not gonna send me more business because you're going to be upset right so when I when I would say that to people I was so scared that I'm like oh my gosh I'm throwing away future business and and it was so much bigger for me but then I had to remember like no because you know what if they are the right person if we are the right team and the right partners together you're gonna understand if I come to you and say hey you know what Stella this doesn't make sense for your client because if we're both on the same page you're gonna understand and you're gonna say thanks Nicole I appreciate we don't want to put them in in that bad situation right so that was the kind of people I had to find my tribe I had to find the the people who were going to say we want to work together to put those clients together right so it was just finding finding my tribe I say exactly exactly and you know thriving there.

SPEAKER_00: 37:30

So you know what you have shared uh Nicole is very powerful and also it inspires so you actually built your business and you've been very successful at it and and that is all from transparency and being authentic.

SPEAKER_01: 37:44

So give me an example of a time that you said no to someone that didn't sign in with your value like is this is there something that stands out that you'd like to share with us um I'd probably say because we were talking about a very challenging market um early COVID when there was business for everyone because it was so busy you know interest rates were were were crazy it was so easy for people to qualify. As a mortgage broker I'm known for breaking pushing boundaries and making magic happen in terms of my relationships with my lenders and I usually can stretch clients affordability like all these good and exciting things um but I had so many opportunities where I had you know my my realtor partners or people that were coming to me saying okay hey we need to push the max for these clients and I'm like I I'm not gonna do that like can I do it? Can I get it done? Yes yeah but I'm not going to and that was because although we had we could not predict how bad things were gonna get like we wish we could but we couldn't we knew that things had to at least get back to normal and stabilize right pre pre-pandemic level so if I knew that you know once things normalized and stabilized those clients were not going to be in a good position there was multiple times that I had to say no to people well I I just I don't think this makes sense for you. Oh but I can go get it done across the street I can go get it done yes you can you can I just am not gonna do it for you and that was very very difficult because again it was like I have to worry about like am I gonna get a bad reputation because of that because I'm saying no to people like and people are gonna tell and I was like no you have to stay true to who you are and I there's three that I'm thinking of right off the top of my head one was a relationship that I just I lost and never never came back um and I'm okay with that I came to terms with that I was like okay I wasn't the right person for you um but two of those clients have since now come back to me and like so grateful to me that I didn't put them in that situation despite them one of them actually was not so nice to me because they were really upset about it but they came back after like they were so grateful that I said no because they would have been in a very bad situation.

SPEAKER_00: 39:49

Very bad that's that's what authenticity does that transparency does. 100% so that's that's amazing like you know um to see that how you are handling these situations and thriving in the business as you should be and Nicole I have one I want to ask so uh we have a lot of first time homebuyers entering the market in today's uh today's economy that we are seeing right now it's a bias market 100% right and you know any every immigrant's dream is to have that little piece that they can call home so what do you wish every first time homebuyer knew before they start their journey oh that's a good one um is to be as proactive as you can to speak to somebody doesn't have to be myself but to speak to somebody to really understand what the future goals are and to really hone in on on what is important to you and take a proper look at like your finances and everything because people get so caught up in okay how much house can I afford and all these kinds of things but they don't they're not truly honest throughout the process and it's not ill intended they just you know they're like okay hey this is how much money we make we can we can afford this I always say as a mortgage broker I am bound by telling you how much you can qualify because we have to factor in things like you know your income and whatever's reported on your credit bureau.

SPEAKER_01: 40:59

We don't factor in or we're not required to factor in things like daycare costs or you have an elderly parent that you're taking care of. So it's so important for them to be open with us about what their life actually looks like so that we can tell them okay this is what actually makes the most sense for you because that is how they're going to be able to truly thrive enjoy that little peace that they can call home and be able to actually grow right because if they don't put themselves beyond their means with the natural appreciation all that kind of stuff we can help them you know upsize in a few years and all those kinds of things so it's just truly being honest about the actual process so that we can better serve them and make sure that we're meeting their goals. That's that that's absolutely right you nailed it on the head so thank you yeah and um what is uh one of the biggest um in your opinion what is one of the biggest myths you're seeing they're happening in the market right now um in the real estate mortgage industry the biggest myths um hmm I wouldn't say it's it's necessarily a myth but it's it's my pet peeve for quite some time and it's this rate obsession this like just just the fact that like it's everybody's literally obsessed with rates. I am not I don't want to get a whole bunch of bad comments here and people are like what is she talking about? I'm not saying rate are not important. Of course they are but my biggest the reason why it's my pet peeve is because not all products are created equal nor are the lenders and so I have had countless conversations with people about Nicole I just want the lowest rate and I'm like great I I want you to have the lowest rate but but Stella that's not going to make sense based on what you've told me this is what you need. And like I can very easily show you that a actual product or an interest rate that is a full percent higher than what you're being quoted by another institution is actually going to outperform. And so if I were to say to you Stella why do you want the lowest rate people look at me like I'm asking them a trick question. It's not a trick question. I I genuinely want to hear what they're saying. Most of the time the answer is well because I want to pay as limited amount of interest as possible and I want to you know keep my my payments as low as possible like cash flow.

SPEAKER_03: 43:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 43:05

So the fact that you can have products that can actually minimize all of that regardless of what the the actual rate looks like is night and day but people don't stop to want to hear about the actual product because they get so caught up with what's on paper. Right? Like oh okay this this this is a full percent lower how is that even possible so it's I just wish that people would spend more time understanding or taking the time to understand the product and the actual structure of a mortgage as opposed to just focusing on rate because it's it's night and day for them.

SPEAKER_00: 43:36

Yeah yeah like see beyond the rate.

SPEAKER_01: 43:39

A hundred percent that that's exactly it's yeah see beyond that's more to a mortgage than just the rate because you know focusing on a number that can that changes all the time is not going to resolve your or gain your long-term goal in in a home ownership and paying off that mortgage because that's what everybody wants exactly and this is and this is not a knock towards any bank or anything like that but that's the difference between somebody like myself or you know brokers out there versus just kind of walking into a bank and saying okay hey I want this they're not and it's not their fault but most of the time they're not as educated at in terms of some of the other products out there because they only have access to to the one for example right so they're not able to you know best advise a client literally because they just don't know anything different right so that's why it's so important for clients to actually understand and see okay what options do you have available to them?

SPEAKER_00: 44:29

Yeah most definitely that's absolutely wonderful sharing that with us um so this actually concludes the conversation but I want to get into a lightning round okay so let's get in there let's do it okay so five questions straight and simple but to the point answers okay okay so the first one one word that defines the chapter of your life right now resilience oh I have two okay I'll go with I'll go with the two okay resilience and it's not technically one but just unapologetic like I I and I mean that in in a good way like I just I am who I am and and I'm proud of that so I'm gonna own that so unapologetic. Yeah and I think it's actually very valuable to have that uh that mentality because you know that's what makes you outshine and also be very laser focused at your at your goals. So it's absolutely a good one to have um the next one a a book a podcast or a quote that changed your mindset the Mel Robbins let them is is a huge I love it.

SPEAKER_01: 45:40

I just I I it's and and I know it's very popular right now. The other one I'll like sorry I'm giving you two this is not I'm I'm failing um The Audacity to be queen is another is another book that I absolutely love.

SPEAKER_00: 45:53

Yeah so you guys should definitely check them out um this is this is something that we go through every day so in the morning when I wake up I try to check do I need tea or coffee today for you is it tea or coffee and how do you take it?

SPEAKER_01: 46:05

My staple is a s uh Tim Horton's tea steep tea steep tea I am not a Starbucks sorry I was just I'm a I'm a Timmy's girl. Yeah me too I love my Timmies right friends yeah how do you take it what is your steep tea look like so I will probably have three milk and one sugar I like it milky I like it like you know that's a good comment less sugar more milk yeah good for you right yeah that's true yeah I love it I'll take it all day actually no I can't because then I won't sleep but yes I know that you you appreciate your motherhood a lot so tell me what is one thing that motherhood taught you just one um I know that's many I know I'm like oh gosh honestly I I think I'm just gonna keep it simple to how strong I actually am and and I say that because even though I knew that growing up the way I did there were so many times over the last couple years where I was like I said ready to throw in the towel and because I'm a mom and because I am you know setting that ground for for Kai and he looks up to me there was just like no you you don't have any option but to continue to push forward and succeed and be strong because you have to set that example for him.

SPEAKER_00: 47:19

So strength.

SPEAKER_01: 47:19

Yeah the strength that's powerful thank you um if you could tell your 14 year old self one thing what would that be gonna say this without being emotional um that none of it it's not your fault it's not your fault like I for many years um couldn't understand why I went through and why my circumstances were the way they were right so you can't help but question like did I did I do something wrong? Right? Was it me? Should I have done something different to not have or not be a product of that environment so I'm gonna say it's not your fault.

SPEAKER_00: 47:58

Yeah and I'm pretty sure you're gonna say I'm very proud of who you have become oh 100% yeah yeah and I am very proud of who you have become Nicole you know it's not easy to take life as it throws at you but you take it and mold it the way that you want it to be that is strength power and resilience there. So thank you very much Nicole taking the time for having me you're most welcome it's a pleasure and an honor to have you and we look forward to meeting you again in one of our next shows. Definitely thanks thank you guys wow Nicole thank you for your honesty and your heart you reminded us that the hardest chapters of our lives can become the foundation for our greatest success. And to you our listeners if today's episode moved you inspired you gave you that little nudge to keep going I want to hear all about it. Drop a comment share this with someone who needs to hear it and hit that subscribe button because on the Stella Talk show this is what we do real stories, real strategies and real success. Remember you are one decision away from rewriting your story and we are here to help you do it. Until next time keep building keep believing and keep showing up for the life you deserve until next time stay Stellar thank you for spending your time with us on the Stellar Talk show. We hope you found value in today's episode and gained insights to help elevate your lifestyle if you enjoyed the discussion please like subscribe and share it with anyone who could benefit. It means the world to us. Until our next episode stay inspired and I'll see you soon on our next Stellar Talk show