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The Public Nuisance Podcast
Host Sean McComb interviews various guests
The Public Nuisance Podcast
The Public Nuisance Podcast #004 “Battle of The Holes” with Colin Geddis.
Welcome to a new episode of The Public Nuisance Podcast with me, Sean McComb.
This week we welcome The Notorious Barry The Blender A.K.A Colin Geddis.
We cover Barry The Blender, Kevin Hart, N.I. comedy, comedians boxings, Mike Tysons hole, 90’s kids, accidental drip, Getting chased in Dublin, Nordies, Road Rage and much more.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Sean McComb
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmccomb/
Killen Studios
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Website: https://killenstudios.com/
That Prize Guy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatprizeguy/
Website: https://thatprizeguy.co.uk/
JFH Social
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jfh_social/
Website: https://www.jfhsocial.com/
The Public News Show, sean McCullough. Welcome to this episode of the Public News Show podcast, sponsored by Killin' Studios, where you can get all your content, from podcasts to photo shoots, you name it. We've got it. Today we have none other than Colin Gaddis. Yeah, the man and myth. What a pleasure to be here. I wasn't sure whether to introduce you as Colin or Barry. I wasn't sure what went through the door today.
Speaker 2:It's always Colin you know what I mean. Even when it's Barry the Blender, it's kind of like. I'll just put on an accent to be able to say things that I wouldn't normally be able to say.
Speaker 1:That wasn't me, I was fucking Barry, it's like South Park.
Speaker 2:You know you're like. I didn't say that.
Speaker 1:Do people ever approach you as Barry All? The time still 14 years later, because I remember the very first boxing event you were sitting up in the balcony. Someone goes to me that's your man, barry Upper. He says who the fuck's Barry?
Speaker 2:the comedians one, the comedians box, the first one, you were in the balcony, weren't you looking over the ring?
Speaker 1:someone says that's your man, barry Upper. Have I seen that film? I was looking up going who the fuck's Barry? Genuinely on the crew and I seen you and you were sitting there and you had the cap on oh, can't get us. They're like oh, you're man, the fucking. That's the part of the blender, isn't it?
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, that was the best night of my life. I turned up and I just had to go by myself because, like all my mates are at the back. Everyone's fighting and I just sat in the balcony by myself and people like strangers were just handing me pints, and all about nine pints of my feet into it. I was like that's fucking great some atmosphere.
Speaker 1:It was unreal, that's all it took.
Speaker 2:I was in there and I was like I should have done this, I should have done it because those were saying to me why doesn't fucking Barry do it? I'll tell you why because I'm about 19 and a half stone and your options are limited. You know what I mean it was like me and Dave Elliot looking at fancy that I don't know not really, you know, ciarán Bartlett, fuck him.
Speaker 1:Ciarán Bartlett, throw him in the middle of the night while I'm fake hearing.
Speaker 2:It'd be a value of fighting over who's gonna fake hearing I know, but yeah, but that was, that was the main, the main reason, like aww, you fancy done it anyway, didn't?
Speaker 1:you did it anyway, got my fucking head kicked, just quiet and just suss it out. You went out guns blazing so we're like even like you were gonna, you were gonna gas anyway. You just went out swinging for the hell of it, me Aye.
Speaker 2:Mate, the fitness was the only thing I had. For fuck's sake it was a. It was a strange thing to go into First of all. Complete setup. No one told me, boy. It was supposed to be like comedians doing a wee bit of boxing for the crack. He's a lifetime of fighting, I know. And also it's full kickbox record boxing fucking dead, jujitsu, everything it wasn't for early.
Speaker 1:And I was like sure I'll fucking fight him sure.
Speaker 2:And then he was absolutely on one from last year because him and Paddy had a bit of a thing going on.
Speaker 1:It was a draw. Aye Paddy still claims that draw, so I think he was just like.
Speaker 2:I think he was probably like nah, I gotta go out and like show people that I can't actually fight this comedian's boxing for children's cancer full wacky man. You got the shorts throwing like fuck me but it was funny because, you know, it was one of those things people were like yeah, alright, no, and it was one of those things where people were like yeah, alright, and I was like it was just a lot of gloves in the face. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:it was just like full on you were doing alright at the start and then I was just thinking like whatever way you swung about your fucking overhand right, you sort of missed.
Speaker 2:And then it was like he just opened up but then the problem was, you know it, and going back out to the car, fucking swimming I was like Jesus Christ I don't know if I should be driving, I know, because the training is fucking heavy duty like the intense training is like fucking and then sparring too.
Speaker 2:like you know, your options are limited when you're like a big heavy guy, so, like you end up whoever turns up to the session, like the day I was down with you and Shane, and you're dinking about Both fucking skin and bones. You're dinking their ass in this big fucking gorilla, this big fucking gorilla comes at you with 20 years of fighting experience.
Speaker 1:Mully Ponce Cabo is your name.
Speaker 2:As soon as the guy broke it up, I was just like fuck it. I was about to throw the gloves in the crowd. I was like see you later.
Speaker 1:Whose fucking idea was this?
Speaker 2:let's fuck off, shut up. I was already see, because it was the last fight and everyone was, like you know, doing their fight and getting changed and getting pints and all, and I'm just by myself at the end. And then I was just like at that point I was just like, well, I'll sure be over in about six minutes anyway, and then we'll be away to the pub you know, I was like fuck it, but it done well in terms of the fucking charity, like some, I know serious money.
Speaker 1:So for our parties yeah, for our parties there was years of training, so I'm into training but yeah, fitness was all I had.
Speaker 2:It was decent cardio shit. You didn't actually need it in the end that's what I mean. That's the funny thing about those charity boxing things you either train properly or you do nothing because it's not going to really matter, like fucking Mike Tyson, I know. Did you see that?
Speaker 1:did you train or match it? Fuck, I couldn't even I didn't like to be honest because I just I knew. I knew. Like my people always ask me what do you think? Fucking fair play to both men. They made a million, they made millions. Like Mike Tyson made 20 million minute link Jake Paul made a 40 minute link fuck me, that's insane money. But, like Jake Paul's a young, a flattic fella, no matter whether he's a YouTuber or not, he's going to beat me, he's not me and there's different ways to look at it.
Speaker 2:You could go like you know what are you going to be doing when you're 60. Are you going to be training up and trying to have a fight with some? It's like fair play either way, but like I think that's the last, that's the last one where I'm gonna get sucked into it you know what I mean. Like you can't be fooled twice by that shit nah, I've been fooled about six times, but you know what I mean, michael.
Speaker 2:Taysom that one. I'm like you know. Maybe I don't know. He's fucking just smacking the shit out of the pants obviously going.
Speaker 1:Does he still have it? Yeah he could still have it like people. People actually thought my tation could not come out like and I was like come on.
Speaker 2:He still has it. If he just walked up to you and chinned you, chinned you like.
Speaker 1:Obviously you know someone who's actually trained for fucking 12 weeks to fit him. Yeah, he's like fucking 30 years younger maybe. Yeah, you know what I mean. I suppose, like fucking people have this wee thing, wee dream in their head going like he's still, he can still knock him out. Do you think he can knock him out? And I'm going no chance. They're like really yeah. I think so. I was like the con's 58. They can't even walk. He's fucking. He's just full of time stoner, he's fucking he's on mushrooms right, I've seen a fucking video On TikTok.
Speaker 1:We're like Lennox Lewis walks in the changing room and so does Evander Holyfield. I've seen that, yeah, and they're like, and he's just sitting doing a wee bit of warm-up and they're starting out and he goes, tell me something. He goes, tell me something.
Speaker 2:And Lennox Lewis goes, cut off the ring, hit him, try and hit him a couple of times.
Speaker 1:Even they're like they were caught off guard. Like tell you something, man, Just cut off the ring. Like you said, Do what you do. You know You've been doing this your whole life. Cut the fuck off. They were probably going deep inside, going what the fuck are you playing at I?
Speaker 2:know, Tell you something, go home, Get a taxi. Right now there's a neighbor. I said you know what the fuck? It would annoy me because, like, Like you know the whole internet hype of it, you know, the real fight was probably Kaylee Taylor, yeah, that rematch. And then you know, you just you expect to wake up and just look at the phone and see all the highlights of everything. And it was. There was none of the fight, it was just Mike Tyson's arse Because he's walking around in the jackstrap.
Speaker 2:What was he doing? It's just like. But I was like I seen that and I was like that's just a fucking, that's just a game bred dog there. It's just a big dog.
Speaker 1:He's just been doing it forever.
Speaker 2:He's just like. I don't give a fuck. I'll fight him with my cocks out.
Speaker 1:He doesn't care what media comes in, he's just walking around. No one can say fuck all. There's no one to say who's hanging out what just blasting farts and sweating like sweatish fucking hole, just talking about because he's in jail. I tell you, man, he doesn't mind them dollar in these shawls being fucking dirty hole and everybody just clearing out in this latin room and then on those Netflix preview shows, his daughter made fun of him like oh, you don't brush your teeth.
Speaker 2:and he's like, yeah, it's just a wee cork I have, so you know he's not washing his whole life.
Speaker 1:He's not washing his teeth, he's just.
Speaker 2:He's dad's not washing his whole life, he's just tiling off the sweat and going back on Like a handful of mushrooms. See you later.
Speaker 1:He's sitting mooned out there fucking. He's always in cookie land.
Speaker 2:He doesn't know what the fuck's going on but then sometimes you know he'll just drop, like you know, like some sort of old fight guru, you know he just drops a mad quote and you're like Jesus, that's, that's powerful stuff now.
Speaker 1:So it's fucking everyone he always catches. Everyone's afraid of saying he's like so intimidated about him because of the way he used to be. I feel like he's so mellow now. He's just like just like you say, probably following my streams. He's open about it. He just openly talks about it and taking my streams and being a complete stunner, but everyone's always on the edge around him he's still scary. There's no doubt about it 100% he'll beat your ear off.
Speaker 1:Let me take you away for a second to talk about my fresh haircut from JFH barbers. If you don't know where they are, get to know they are. They have three locations in Armour Road, lisburn Road, newcastle County Down, and they're open on a fourth shop in the Danish complex, finnicky. Also, let's not forget the praise guy how good work he does, how much support he gives to our communities and how much people's lives he changes on a daily with massive praises or for grabs. Get on, click the link in their bio and see what you can grab before Christmas but you know, he'd be talking and laughing.
Speaker 2:and he'd be talking and laughing and he'd be like ha, ha, ha, and then he'd say something, and it was fucking like His steps.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:It was like shark eyes will come back.
Speaker 1:It wasn't my fate, ring safe, my fate in New York, Really. And he walked by I remember leaving the arena and he just someone shouted, hey Mike, hey champ, come over. And he just went and just walked on and the fan was like fuck it. The wee American guy was like fuck, I thought I was going to get a photo and I was just sitting there going fuck me, like.
Speaker 2:Tyson can't take one photo. Be there, all fucking day.
Speaker 1:Oh, I suppose that's it. I thought I actually got it. It was a football player. I went to man City, man City, man United and I was like Where's fucking Rodri? My brother was like that's what it is, I ain't got a full one. But he was like Lingering about, he couldn't, he didn't want no one to know. So I was like Rodri Rodri. He didn't answer me and I went.
Speaker 2:Rodri guys, can you show him around now?
Speaker 1:And I was like He'd literally run, run away through fucking security. You'd be there all day. That's what happens. That's what's funny. What happens to you isn't it Roderick. That was you in the hotel hall.
Speaker 2:I was going to say very similar to what happened to me in Newry. I'd come up. We keep doing these hotel gigs where, like, the reason I do them in hotels is because you know, like if you sell 200, it's fine. If you sell 200, it's fine If you sell 300, but it can go up to about 600. So they just, they just let you know you might end up selling 350 or something like that, but you have to. You know it's not set up like a comedy club or theater or anything where there's a green room and you come on stage. You have to, like, make your way through and get on stage.
Speaker 1:And I was like right guys, thanks for coming out, see, and this woman was like.
Speaker 2:I was like I get a photo, took a photo and then the other girl took a photo and I turned around. There was about 200 people and I had the full blown flu as well. I shouldn't have been doing the gig.
Speaker 1:And I was like I get injured, I'll be off work for a week.
Speaker 2:What happens to you like? Have you ever? Have you ever got sick before a fight?
Speaker 1:I did actually, yeah, I got sick once and fucking I was shitting like fuck and I was making weight, so I didn't care at that stage. But it was only like my third or fourth fight, so it was sort of a fight of the journey man. I got away with it, thankfully. But but if you get sick before a fight and you can't fight, you're fucked, you're not getting no money or nothing so a lot of people just go, like people just go for it anyway, even when they are sick, because you gotta show up like you've just put 10-12 weeks training and if you don't fight you're not getting paid.
Speaker 1:So that's must be rough, like rough as fuck yeah that's bad.
Speaker 2:I had to talk for an hour and I was like I don't know if I'm up. I've got the black lung. It definitely fucked me. Though I woke up. I was like in Lavery's on Thursday or something, woke up on the Friday and had a show on Friday and Saturday, and I woke up and I was just like fucking. My teeth were chattering. I was like, oh my God, what the to like for it to go away for the afternoon and I was like I'll go do it anyway, and the Friday was okay.
Speaker 2:And then the Saturday I woke up worse again and then went and did that gig and man, I was fucking like. My trousers were wet, I'd sweated through everything.
Speaker 1:What happens easy though, like obviously if a fader gets sick, they're out, or if a fader they're fated gig. Do you just have to reimburse everybody because?
Speaker 2:no, you can reschedule it. I would just reschedule it, and then you'd have to reimburse people who couldn't make the second one. But then something like it was the day of like, so I was like I'd nearly rather just rest and see if I can go do it than the hassle of trying, you know, because then I'd have to be on Instagram being like sorry guys can't make it.
Speaker 1:Can't make it down to the Dury. Can I just quote fucking wee couple wee lamps, fuck, fuck, all wrong wee you're damn hangover. Fuck up.
Speaker 2:I know that's what a lot of people think like, oh, he's must party like mad. No, you're like. Not at all. I'm just living in a fucking filling station like Stephen Nolan, alright sandwich sandwich is on the go worst lifestyle of all time that's how she is.
Speaker 1:The wee Willie Thompson. He was in on last week and he was just saying that's shit, like he's not getting out to late and he's drinking pence sometimes yeah, is he not on his? Mpic or something he's getting out. I don't know what the fuck he's at, but he's just eating shit constantly. It's terrible Like eating takeaways every night.
Speaker 2:The only person who's got it down is Shane Todd, because he's fucking, because he's like an American psycho. You know what I mean? He only eats three things.
Speaker 1:He's fucking his body, he's lactose intolerant and everything.
Speaker 2:He's a better, he's one of them people.
Speaker 1:I know that just bring his own wee lunch with him and his own wee, like his own wee butter that no one else can eat and it's like I remember walking for miles with him in Dublin to find a Nando's and we got in there and he didn't even get chicken.
Speaker 2:He got like a fucking vegan burger or something. What the fuck's the point? And I'm like we walked past about ten vegan places he's got a black card, doesn't he? He didn't then, did he not? Nah, I don't even know if he had a bank card back then get the tape.
Speaker 1:You promise I'll get the next one.
Speaker 2:I love when some of the stuff you put up like even you know you were doing like reviewing Chinese's and stuff, but then I was chatting to you somewhere and I think it I had a fucking pizza in that hotel an hour ago and you were like and then you were chatting and you were like I just wake up and have a coffee and like a chocolate bar or something, and then you just don't eat till like you get up, just eat what you want realistically.
Speaker 2:That's the joys of being a professional athlete, isn't it? I know that's it You're going to be training like mad.
Speaker 1:Obviously you've got to cut so much weight like I would probably cut about eight or nine pound before. Like two days before a fight, cut loads of water out and then you start severely dehydrated, yeah, then you carb load that day off the way in before the fight and you eat like fucking anything. I got up the next morning I just had like a wee bar of chocolate, a couple of coffees, eight, nine pound.
Speaker 2:If I took my clothes off and had a shite, I'd lose ten probably.
Speaker 1:I. You're a beast of a man. That's what I keep telling you. I'm still trying to get it out there, but people are starting to. I think people are probably starting to click on that. It's not so true after that real boy performance that was fucking me in our chain the whole time.
Speaker 2:I know I feel like doing it one more time. Be like, throw me a regular comedian, Just jump in by flattening them and then go back and walk out and then you can.
Speaker 1:You can actually live up to who you are, like it does be, because I like Boy the Blender. Is that would that be? Is that how you get into comedy, or were you already? Is it pretty much because I used to watch him flat out and I used to fucking like love him Well basically I like I wanted to be like a graphic designer originally.
Speaker 2:So I went to the art college in Belfast to do a foundation year, thinking because they tell you like if you do the foundation year, you're going to walk into whatever course you want. And then it didn't get into the course I wanted to and I was like what the fuck? And then last minute I probably should have taken a year out or something. But instead I was like I'll be embarrassed if I don't go to uni now. So I went up there and they were doing, like you know, graphic design and things like animation. But then they let you do other stuff, like make wee videos and whatever, and then like made a video up. It was like a fake documentary, like a mock doc, and it was quite. People were like, oh, it's really funny, you know. And then I was like oh fuck, didn't really mean it to me. But then I was like I'll try and make like an actual funny fake documentary. So it was only about the first Bar. The Blender was about the third video I'd ever made, Serious.
Speaker 1:Fuck me, it was fucking funny.
Speaker 2:And then it was kind of them things. You nearly like fall into it. You're like, oh yeah, this is pretty funny you know, and then just through doing that, ended up like I think I got an offer from like BBC to be in some heap of shite and then that's when I ran into like Mickey and Shane and all them ones, and then it was only like a couple weeks later I was doing Try and Stand Up powerful.
Speaker 1:So I'm going but see like, do you ever go back and look at the like? Obviously now because Boy of the Blender's back, does your? Do you ever go back and look at the old videos and see like the views or anything of the the old ones? No, because I would like now that, boy of the Blender's back, I would never go back and watch again, like you haven't watched them in years. No one's probably watched them in years probably not.
Speaker 2:I haven't checked the numbers on them or anything, but it was like way different back then you know, like anybody can anybody can like drop a reel and by chance it does like a million hits or something I know. But back then it was like you know, youtube like a link on YouTube and people were sharing the link and everything if it was TikTok back then, like if TikTok was alive back then, yeah, when you were doing them, you probably would have fucking been global, like global.
Speaker 1:That's the god like, because it's like what the Americans watching being like what fuck she saying sometimes don't come again.
Speaker 2:I know, yeah I mean, but again, it was all you know if you had like someone advising you or like a fucking agent or something, but I was just dicking about in the garage. Do you ever?
Speaker 1:do gigs in the market.
Speaker 2:I've done a few, but I actually have a visa now so I can go.
Speaker 1:I can go down volunteer like because you know, shane, I was over, I like do the fucking the stand up, just a. You know, like you went to the comedy club and just did open mic and shit, yeah, that's fucking we did it.
Speaker 2:We did it in Austin, like just messaged this place, me and Aaron McCann and like they obviously took a look at the the Instagram and they're like I must be half decent or something, let us on.
Speaker 1:And it was fine you know what I mean. It was like it wasn't like my accent's far too strong. People from Belfast can't even understand me, so that's why I don't wouldn't even consider it you're doing a gig in the devilish like what's he, what's he? I can't understand what this fella's saying. Oh, say that again. What is?
Speaker 2:well, it is funny to think about, like you know, because obviously there's loads of comedians doing really well here, and then you think about like I wonder how they would do somewhere else. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I know because, like, the audience is here, isn't it? For, like it's our humour, I believe like our humour is like here, but obviously not because it fucking does so well everywhere else, like even in America. I had loads of people saying here. I was in New York last December and her cousin lives in New York and was like here, I'm going to Shane Todd on the 9th of December, are you here? And I was like no, we don't go to 12th. And he was like, oh, there's a big squad of us going from Queen. So I was like so it's fucking. Obviously people watch that and love it.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, well, I mean, like Irish comedy is a thing you know. You go to the Fringe or whatever. Yeah, because I know the boys in Dublin who run the Crackdown and they get loads of tourists so the place might be filled with Americans there to see Irish comedy, yeah, and they maybe by chance have a travelling act who is American? And these ones have turned up, americans have turned up, and then an American comes on and they're like, for fuck's sake, I didn't come here to see, like I didn't see, an American, I came here to see an Irish.
Speaker 2:There were people who were travelling so you go up there and then that's the problem with being a like a northern comedian on those Irish lineups, because people are expecting fucking Ardal O'Hanlon and he's all oh fuck it, you know, yeah, like proper proper.
Speaker 1:Irish.
Speaker 2:And then you walk up there and it's hard to deal with because it's a lot more aggressive accent and we speak quicker.
Speaker 1:And Andrew Ryan's doing the opposite. He's come to fucking Belfast from Cork.
Speaker 2:Taking over, taking over. But he's like Cork Zero in his accent. You know what I mean. He's like Cork Light.
Speaker 1:Cork Light, that's not as strong. Because I can't understand Cork Light. Cork Light, that's not as strong, because I can't understand Cork. They were having a hard time understanding me, but I fucking can't understand anyone from Cork. Brian Durant is actually sweet. I suppose he has to be. He's a fucking radio presenter. Yeah, he sure lived in London for about 10 years, mate. He's not even from Cork. It's a fucking lie. Yeah, nah, shane, he was open for Shane and then, oh wow, the arena huge. That's the first I've seen him live doing stand up.
Speaker 2:So he's a. He's a phenomenal comedian like and he does because he lived in London. He's nearly like a comedian from like the 90s. You know, he's all doing, he's doing corporates. And you speak to him one day and he's like oh, I'm presenting the fucking pasta UK pasta awards. It was a real thing. He said to me and I was like what?
Speaker 1:thought he was fucking waiting you up best linguine in England. I don't even I don't know who folks on that shit fucking says Dave the Bread ballings a day fist fights in the ground meatballs. Get the fuck the man. What the fuck? Fucking Nicos, nicos and Lisbon, nicos, fucking.
Speaker 2:Nicos, the international pasta awards. I was like, first of all, how did you get that job? And I didn't.
Speaker 1:I would love to try it.
Speaker 2:I need to be a judge a judge would be the best job. I'd rather be a judge than a presenter just go for a free feed, just eat it all and be like. I thought they were all pretty decent, fair play. See you later.
Speaker 1:He's all done well, we'll go again next year. Just take a shirt like Peeve line up, fuck them, fuck me some. Shift this year, no more, it's been a good year we've got more to go, no more can I get a wee coffee please?
Speaker 2:I'm absolutely dying.
Speaker 1:What about when's the? Can I get a wee coffee please? I'm absolutely dying. What about the Cheesecake Awards? Fucking.
Speaker 2:Pasta everywhere, unbelievable. Oh, fuck me.
Speaker 1:But you, because you were saying about the Americans, you opened for acts. You went to your gig with Kevin Hart as well. That was powerful, that was fucking, it was mad. That was my first time at a comedy gig like stand up, very strange it was fucking classic, was it strange?
Speaker 2:it was like it was. It was bizarre because for months it was just like like a rumour. You know, there's a big comedian coming, and then Shine eventually told me like it's going to be Kevin Hart. And I was like, right, okay, keep that to yourself. And I was like I absolutely won't, but, I absolutely won't, but. But it was just, it was one of those things. Like he, his first gig in Belfast was at Lavery's and then we didn't see him at all and they were just like you go up and you know, do a bit of crowd work or whatever, and we'll fucking oh shit, we'll flash a light at you when he's here. So right up to that point I was just, you know, I had to be like here's Kevin Hart, apparently. And then, and then I'm like what is? Am I being stitched up here? And then he just walked around the corner and I was like who decided?
Speaker 1:you and Shane going with him, does he decide?
Speaker 2:or is his team? Does he? No, I think it was. Maybe I don't actually don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think it was because all the comedians were scrambling to get on the stage with him or get on and perform.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably, but I mean Shane, I don't know, because he gigged in Lavery's, he probably seen me on the TV out the back or something.
Speaker 2:And then Shane you know, obviously a big client for Shine. It probably just kind of made sense. And then it was so weird because there was no feedback, so you'd go up and do the warm-ups and everything and then they'd sort of be very standoffish. But then they would know exactly who you are and know everything about you and if you couldn't make one of the gigs they knew who to put in play they'd be like, well, we'll take mickey bartlett. Then you know, I'd have done the research, you know. So they're kind of very fucking stoic, like um, but then sure, we did that many of them. It was like I would pull up at the limelight, barely turn the car off like I just leave it just leave the car on and go up do 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:There's shane. See you later but it was worth it, you know, to hang in there for the like, the big gigs, like Free.
Speaker 1:Arena that opens up doors for her. Did that ever open any doors, like other doors, for you doing that gig with Kevin Hart?
Speaker 2:I don't know. There was definitely a bit of a boost in at Lavery's, at the comedy club, you know, because you have that Hart with the fucking lavish thing behind you, which is it's good. But it's been, it's been, it was doing well before that and it's kind of remained the same really like. But Shane was smart because he had a poster up for his Dublin gig the night of the Dublin, the Kevin Hart gig. Oh, did he and.
Speaker 2:I opened my phone after the gig and his poster was up and I was like you, fucking bastard, I never thought of that.
Speaker 1:He's on the ball, People always ask me like, what's he like? As a person, I'm like he must be funny as fuck. He's actually just very professional.
Speaker 2:He's very professional. He's so professional. He's not even funny. He's not even in it for the crack.
Speaker 1:He's very funny, but he's like oh, he's just, I mean, even when we're in the box and he's so serious I'm like like enjoy it.
Speaker 2:I know Weirdly, being Shane, you know like we're probably very different people, but I think we get along quite well. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like we're still. You're very like immature, like behavioural.
Speaker 2:I don't not really that, like compared to other comedians, like, if you know, say you're on tour, like say me and Shane, we've went to London done a gig together. The two of us are like, absolutely, let's get a nice hotel, we'll have a nice dinner and we'll fucking, you know, try and be normal about it. And then you take Aram, take fucking you know opium at three in the morning and you're like I'll be in bed.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Yeah, I'll be in bed till night and like Mickey Bartlett's a fucking, he's a head kiss, like he's in Australia now and I just know he'll be. Just he told me he's going to train Every pen I have. He is not doing anything with it.
Speaker 2:I've seen him. I've seen him doing some pads.
Speaker 1:Oh, did he. Yeah, where did we go?
Speaker 2:Give me Jake Paul.
Speaker 1:He's calling out Jake Paul. He should call out Tyson because I should fight Tyson. Fuck, I'd beat him. It's normal you go in there. I'd fucking beat him. I'd just go in there with my hole out. Battle of the holes back to back, fucking big fight, big fat white arse and a big fat black arse just on the poster facing each other.
Speaker 2:Tyson versus Gellis.
Speaker 1:It's just the arse cheeks touching battle of the holes, clinton, big sweaty holes okay you should mix it up next year and do fucking the comedians.
Speaker 2:You know sumo or something just something stupid.
Speaker 1:Boxing's a bit serious like, isn't it? Every one like there's a lot, there's so much change in it.
Speaker 2:I actually think, even like MMA would be better crack, probably because there's a lot of grabbing it's more fun throw a kick, fall on your arse, someone jumps on you, roll about a wee bit. Try and choke them trying to get insurance that shit people fucking getting around here like that's the thing about boxing.
Speaker 2:Like I I'd done a bit of jujitsu for a while and you know maybe went to a few like striking classes and stuff never really like straight boxing and then I started doing it and I was like, oh, this is great. And then I'm fucking 38 now and I'm like I'd love to keep this going. But then I'm also thinking like there's no way to get good at this unless you actually are fucking sparring and doing it all the time. That's only really better and then.
Speaker 2:I'm like do I need this in my life? Right now, you know to be fucking going on stage with a fucking nose over here, like I've left it too late there like that's what happened.
Speaker 1:Like I told everyone I was like you just need to get familiar with getting hit here, like, and they were like yeah, and I was like just you're just getting hit regardless, you just need to like just get familiar with it and take it. Yeah, because, like everyone thinks they're going to learn how to box, but they're not actually thinking about getting hit. Yeah, like learning how to box is just throwing punches. The hardest part of boxing is like getting hit and actually being relaxed about it being relaxed about it.
Speaker 1:I enjoy getting hit sometimes. Yeah, it's like it feels good. It's fucking weird.
Speaker 2:Most boxers will tell that you need to get over the first few.
Speaker 1:I need to get over. We're first for you and just be like ah, I just felt like you know any spot I was doing.
Speaker 2:I was doing a few, like you know, like there's a guy who's like an ex, kind of big, like amateur record. I'm fighting him, but you're a build, quite tall and like long and whatever, and you're getting hit and I'm sort of going like it's not like you hit and you're like, oh, jesus Christ, my face you're. You know, it's like bang, bang and then one of them just hits you somewhere and the fucking room starts spinning and you're like straight up here you know what I mean it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not like.
Speaker 2:It's like a bare knuckle or something where you're just like oh Jesus.
Speaker 1:Christ, my fucking ass do you burn up? Do you? Do you me? It's me again, he's turned up in the grey sweats oh, look at the fucking vest hat on big hairy chest fucking three and a half hour fight calm the apples up.
Speaker 2:Chauffeur play, lad chauffeur play in a fucking car park somewhere, I know. But yeah, I was just. I was just like I'm too old to be it's. It's definitely fun as fuck, like, but I was just like I don't know if I need to be doing this they should be, they should do.
Speaker 1:Maybe look at doing something else that'd be good, like another discipline or something else, just something, something fun, because I know, like they always do, like you always do like the stars and rise and you do all the Charlie like boxing, but some others like taekwondo imagine that fucking jiu jitsu jiu jitsu, armbar flat out, alright, because you can just you get rolling ball back flat.
Speaker 2:Alright, still beat me no punches. Yeah, I might just, you know, see the end of the round if it was jiu jitsu, just land on the floor, cover my neck up, go ahead, go ahead there. Hold still out face down hold out. See how well you do if I walk out there In a fucking Borat mankini Covered in oil.
Speaker 1:Slippery as fuck. Let's go. I had to walk around and all super serious.
Speaker 2:I said to the boy after I was like but then I took this as a compliment he goes Are you fucking through? Like one punch, one big overhand right and had a big fucking lump In my head and all. And then he's like so I'm not hanging about in here, so just beat the fuck out of you. And I was like cheers mate.
Speaker 1:That's what he does at least he got one off.
Speaker 2:But see, the worst thing about that fight he was wearing. I said this to him he's wearing some sort of aftershave he's really strong aftershave like nasty brute, but obviously like fucking, you know, grabbing him, fucking tussling about a wee bit, and then after the fight I'm like getting changed on him, like all I can smell is this fucking aftershave. And then he comes up, you know, wearing laveries after and fucking giving him a hug and I'm like I'm still smelling this aftershave. And then I've gigged with him obviously a good few times since he opened for me on turn and he walks in the room and I smell the aftershave and I'm like fucking PTSD. I'm like flinting.
Speaker 1:Every time I smell I'm like what's that fucking smell? Anyone else smell? Oh, what the fuck is that?
Speaker 2:I'll be walking through boots one day and it.
Speaker 1:I went through the airport and just fucking duty free.
Speaker 2:What the fuck are you? Okay, there's someone there giving away free something. Do you want to smell that?
Speaker 1:and I'm like we try and walk up the plane. They're the same. Get the fuck, step back, step back.
Speaker 2:Oh, my plane the whole time they're freaking me out. It's the fucking stink of this flag.
Speaker 1:What the fuck? No, fuck me, oh Jesus. So if anyone ever, anyone ever, has run on me, find out what happened, shave one of my words and just just come at you if you spread it in the room and I was asleep, I'd wake up like there was a fire in the house. What the fuck run down hold it be like fuck brilliant, fuck me unreal. Do you ever get road rage?
Speaker 2:road rage. I get very. I don't know if I get road rage, but I get very like sarcastic, you know. You know like someone will do something and I'll be like go on ahead. Sure, go on ahead. Sure, I'm like we're going to kill everyone.
Speaker 1:You fucking idiot. I got up this morning and I was like fuck, that's funny. But people who get, I don't. I ain't very rarely get road rage, but see people who do, they annoy the fucker to me, the proper annoying me. Like why are you so annoyed about?
Speaker 2:have you ever got out of the car?
Speaker 1:never, because, this is why I'm asking, because imagine, like getting out of your car and someone is fucking like you, massive, heavy. Just go right now, soon, it don't matter as long as you weren't right after, shame. Looking back dublin before. This is a true story, right? We used to train in dublin mcconnell and was driving down and someone beat the way mcconnell and I got and this chased us everywhere.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, was driving like a lunatic, chased us everywhere, oh my god, mac was driving like a fucking lunatic and I'm like I'm just going to like pull him. He was on his own. It was Davis three boxers, three professional boxers me. Paddy Barnes, mac Callaghan and Mac was fucking flat he goes. This guy might be a gangster or something a Dublin gangster and Mac was like.
Speaker 2:I was just going going ahead, going ahead, all right, mate, going ahead around me. I thought of you mate, is that you? Is that you mate?
Speaker 1:No, I was going nice car, Nice car, mate, Nice car. I didn't see that mate and I followed us everywhere and I was like what the fuck? Thankfully we got away, but I was probably going to watch this. I was like fuck I him, that's him.
Speaker 2:But uh, I've seen a hilarious thing when I was younger. Uh, there's always like loads of people walking up our road and you know, come back steaming, whatever. And I woke up like a Sunday morning there was only about 15, they could hear this, this full row going on outside, and I opened my eyes and like pulled the curtains back and uh, it was a taxi, like a taxi driver having a ride with a fella who lived in our street and he was like, give me that fucking money. And the guy was like I don't have money, he's steaming. And the guy goes back to the car, takes out just like an iron bar and just runs at him and the guy, he's blocked. And he turned around and went to run and just slipped.
Speaker 2:And the guy just got back in the car. It was in the summer, like it was daylight, like five in the morning. Oh so funny, fuck me.
Speaker 1:I'm not bad at road raids. My mate Marty right he phones me and he's got. He's the worst road raid of anyone I've ever met. He must think he's the best driver in the world. He rings me right and he doesn't speak to me. He's like fuck, I'm out, I'm shouting. I haven't spoken about you in five minutes here he just rings you babbling about people on the road?
Speaker 1:no, see people. And then he only passed his test a couple of years ago. Right, that's how bad he is. Me and him were in the car and he was driving. There's a roundabout, right, but he was going towards the roundabout. So there's a car approaching the roundabout. He's approaching the roundabout, he's looking to go right, the car is getting the roundabout before him. So what he does is he speeds up to get to the roundabout before this guy approaches on the other side, right, the mini roundabout. The guy pulls out a wee bit more, he stops. I knew he was going to fucking do it. I looked at him. He was on his armpits. I said you sped up, yeah, because you knew he was going to do it.
Speaker 1:You were trying to crash because he was in front of you and he went so fucking and he just started laughing and he caught himself on. I was like you're flying about looking for an inch with your armpits on fucking.
Speaker 2:Sat in a hill that might just be down to Marty, that's. It is 100% of them. I gave him road rage and shop rage and fucking house rage.
Speaker 1:He's just a fucking rage. He's just flying about in a rage and a bad, slaughtering the people on the phone with me and he's like what did you ring me for?
Speaker 2:to fucking slaughtering everyone else on. I'll give people the old sarcastic I used to do the wee.
Speaker 1:I had a bad habit where I used to know the wee laugh out of war dogs or watch war dogs and it's like, as we laugh, every time people were getting raised to me. I was like. I was raised to be even more and I was like but in Belfast a lot of people would beep my horn or like slobber, and then they would see and they'd be like they know you or they fucking they know who you are and they're like what are you messing? Alright, there's just no saying fucking, fuck off see to be fair, like in general.
Speaker 2:You know, northern Ireland is quite a high level of driving. As soon as you go, you know down south or something, driving like dickheads, you go somewhere, you go anywhere. You're just like what the fuck is wrong with these people.
Speaker 1:They ever go to, they ever see Scousers Liverpool. They're most fucking. They have the worst. I would say they are like the road rage capital of the world. I swear to god I've never heard of taxi drivers before and shouting else. What the fuck are you laughing at? Is it funny? Is it? I'll go mate. It fucking is funny. Sally headlock.
Speaker 2:Fuck me like me and r mccann had a very interesting conversation in a in a taxi in liverpool on the way to the airport and the guy it was it was right after it was like october, that hamas attack and he, you know when you're like I wish, I wish this was five minutes longer, this taxi drive, because the guy was just about to go ballistic and he literally was going like, eh, shut up some concert, and he goes, I don't give a fuck. And he goes. I'd have to check who was on stage. You know, if it was a band that I liked and they shut it up, I'd be fuming and I'm like Hi, alright alright, it's great to share your thoughts on that Great to share cheers, mate, as we're going to the airport at fucking 6 in the morning, you know.
Speaker 1:I'm calling. You're sure going like what the fuck? Psycho pop, what a psycho pop.
Speaker 2:Maniac, I love that. I love those wee taxi journeys where you just have like an absolutely ludicrous conversation with somebody and you're just like I'll never see him again.
Speaker 1:You can say what you want Like text drivers from afar, because they don't know anything about you.
Speaker 2:I used to have material about like adopt the morals of the taxi driver for the duration of the journey, you know, you know they'd be like there's 40 fucking Romanians here and you'd just be like, aye, I'm glad, because you just don't want to drop that. He pointed something. It's actually happened to me. A guy points at like some schoolgirl and he's like Jesus Christ, look at that there.
Speaker 1:And I'm like I know what's you have you have to agree with them because they're dreaming. You're like alright. You're staring at the window like, oh fuck, I'm going to prison here. Imagine what would happen if he did disagree. Mate, you're a fucking pedophile. What, what, what the fuck? Mate, she's a fucking she's 14.
Speaker 1:She chased me with an armbar lamb, flatten your face, fuck me, that is fun, that is fun, but uh, it's just fucking. I always they were like, say, we go a far because I had a stronger accent. I was like speak like I'm a foreigner, like I know, like I was slow right there and I don't even speak like I'm from fucking Ireland anymore or Belfast. I just speak like like a foreigner. You know, my friend, yes, yes, even if I'm in Liverpool, it's like yeah, yeah, yes, I know, I know, do you know where?
Speaker 1:sorry, sorry, I can't fucking, I'm.
Speaker 2:Polish. I gotta say like I have you know, anywhere I've been, I've been like in America, and you know, wherever I travel, like Vietnam or whatever I've always been able to walk up and be like can I have you know? Can I have you know, can I have two coffees please? And they're like yes, you know. And then. But I always find like if you go to Dublin, it's like the worst place for it. If you have like a northern accent at all, you're like I get two flat whites and the guy's like you know what.
Speaker 1:No, dublin's well for it. What's going on? I train in Dublin. All our team from Dublin. None of them can understand me. Like, say it again, and it just rains a rain. If you say something funny, you laugh at yourself.
Speaker 2:You were doing the punchline three times.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Fuck it, it's gone. It's been and gone. I can't understand you. I was like forget about it. It's been and gone. It was a belter anyway, joke he's more.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's the only place where people are a wee bit like what do you say? I'll be talking to like comedians from Dublin and they'll be like you know, like staring at your mouth and all like trying to lip read.
Speaker 1:It's even harder because you speak half fast. It's hard. I need a fucking like subtitles to come out. That'd be the future, like your phone, do you?
Speaker 2:still get this sort of like Nordy treatment if you go down. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?
Speaker 1:That's the thing, isn't it? It's like the treat, like it's the worst Nordy's Nordy's. What is it they are for? Yeah, what the fuck have we ever done?
Speaker 2:What if we're from Donegal?
Speaker 1:I know Still a. Nordy. I know Fucking European. I know it's Danny Gordon Norty that's a weird thing.
Speaker 2:Now it is a weird. It's even in the comedy world. Like you go down and there's a bit of like some, there's some of them Dublin boys just can't wait. As soon as you walk in, you're like alright boys, they're like, and you're like shut you up, shut up.
Speaker 1:You have no clue. Take, but they were. It's the 1980s, fucking blazers. They do have a fucking different dress than us, don't they? I feel like it's always like up here, obviously in cities are different right? Obviously in the outskirts are like brown boots, fucking mohawks. Malts are coming back, malts are fucking. That's Daphne coming from Australia, isn't it?
Speaker 2:100% it's well, australia's full of Irish people right now and then they all come back and they've got a mullet and a pair of pit vipers and then all the local boys in the tractors. They have them and then mullets because that's like I live out in the countryside 18 year old farmers and they look mental Scammy. Jacket, mullet, pet vipers, jeans covered in shite Cultures are the same worldwide.
Speaker 1:I think so. If you look at the south of America, down south America, hillbillies, they're fucking cultures. They're basically cultures in America. But they're like, they're dressed the same, they've got the belt, that's it. It's all agricultural, even in Australia, in the outbacks. But they're like, yeah, they're, they're dressed the same, they've got the belt and they've got the fucking, that's it. It's all agricultural, isn't it? And even in Australia, in the outbacks, they're all fucking mullets.
Speaker 2:I mean, they wear shorts sometimes. Shorts, that's a huge difference, but they never. You know them. Boys are never like working on the farm and then put on the nice gear to be like you never know. You never know when I'm going to have to fist a cow straight in fucking two in the morning.
Speaker 1:What's that noise?
Speaker 2:give it a fucking stab, but it's spilling over, you know, see, see, because, like country music and fucking Yellowstone and all boys are dressing like that. 100%, you know.
Speaker 1:And they work in a fucking office. It's so funny when you see like a fucking, like a kid, like someone has brought their kid up to Sunday Market and he's just like proper, cultured, like four year old, g-lay fucking, mullet, hoopie, ring, brown boots, fucking. He's proper like wee old man, it's like Benjamin Button. They're just going backwards like they're too.
Speaker 2:They're too old, they smoke like that roll ups my son's not far off well, he's not that bad like he. You know, I think all kids like tractors. You know they're like that's that big thing, you know, and he was kind of big into it for a while. And then you know he got the wee brown slip on boots which, to be fair, when you live surrounded by fields, you know he just chucks them on runs outside. That that's good. But then it was his birthday there a couple weeks ago and I got him a pair of Air Max 1's. I was like let's keep it real here. Still the price of adult.
Speaker 1:I don't know, fucking 90 quid. I paid for a pair of new belts for my son. You're sick 90 quid.
Speaker 2:I think his Air Max 1's were 85 pounds with that size you get about two hours out of him because he fucking goes out of it he fucking put them on myself.
Speaker 1:Toes like that.
Speaker 2:Gotta keep him swagged out, keep him going for a week or two he goes out of it, or they just get on a fucking, a wee bike or a scooter or something and just trail the front of them away.
Speaker 1:My wife and you're like, well, there we go like stick your foot in the back of a bike, slow down with no brakes if you've never had no brakes in your bike, because you just just rack stuff. But yeah, just stick your shoe and then it would just wear away. It was like a big arch in the shoe. That's proper old school or like that's a 90s kid 90s kids I remember getting a pair of puma king.
Speaker 2:Do you know like? Do you know like they're for playing on, like AstroTurf or?
Speaker 1:something. No, they're the wee like moley things. They're not full moley, but they've got. They're like the wee, yeah, the wee studs. They're like indoor football shoes. I.
Speaker 2:I remember setting them on a stool beside my bed and I'll be like man. That is a fucking masterpiece of a shoe I was wearing like jeans, and all with a tongue tongue tongue, tongue. And I remember like the studs gave it like a wee bit of a high profile at the side. I remember like looking out in the mirror and I'll be like look at that.
Speaker 1:There same profile.
Speaker 2:Look at that wagging swapping the fuck still look like this. Oh, fuck me like they were.
Speaker 1:They were the. They were the goat of shoes like back were the. They were the goat of shoes like back in the day, we football shoes. Oh why, like you, gotta stay ready, because that's a five a side, like you always like play five a side with lads. Then if you get the chase off on a neighbor or something like you're pabble, you're lost away.
Speaker 2:He was like you got a head start.
Speaker 1:Now I'm thinking fucking actual purchase I've seen a video on the bus. The other day some woman was just sitting around Pearl Fog and like Air 50 football boots. She was about to stand there got these like pink and blue Air 50 football boots and someone just sat in her corner and she was sitting like that and literally football studs doesn't give a fuck there is a bit of I think.
Speaker 2:I've seen those pages like accidental drip and all when, like you know, like New Balance, like the proper USA made ones were like. It was like big fat dudes with a bad back were being like these are comfortable, aren't they? And then they kind of got popular. But the old boys are still wearing them, I know.
Speaker 1:You see some guy sitting there.
Speaker 2:He's about 80 and he's got like 250 pound. Pair of New Balance on. He's sitting there. He's very 80 and he's got like 250 pound.
Speaker 1:New balance on. People are like that's nice, that's nice, they're just People. They lead the way In the fashion industry. And they know the Donald.
Speaker 2:He's doing it for the lumber support.
Speaker 1:I used to work on the bus tours and it was just full of Americans and that's all there were and like we Changed bosses, fucking stragglers Pulled up the armpits yeah, a polo top almost like a golf polo top yeah, and a wee pair of knee bolts, and that was them way up. But they always went in the Skechers and like on Royal Avenue, yeah, they always went. It's only Americans that go in and buy Skechers. I know who the fuck wear Skechers?
Speaker 1:I know you wouldn't be caught dead in Skechers unless you're like a walking about in our scrubs and we put a pair of scatters on.
Speaker 2:We white scatters nah, you'd never have a pair of scatters on, but they do love it. But then there was something about America where they didn't have like high street stuff till not that long ago, really like high street shops like they were buying their clothes in like Costco and all that shit, and then they started to get Zara's and all that shit.
Speaker 1:I believe in Marriott. They're just all the same. It depends where you are, I know, I know.
Speaker 2:I suppose if you were like, if you were describing Marriott, oh yeah, like you would say it's the wee windbreaker, it's the wee polo shirt, wee polo, wee pair of jeans or they come to Ireland and someone's told them like man, you better fucking and wrap up over there because it's the weather's terrible. And then they come over and it's like a fairly mild day and they've got the north face where they're just a wee bit of South Park, like fucking Kenny here at South Park fucking waders on up the hill for a bit of drizzle. You know, fucks sake, I know 100%.
Speaker 1:But uh, listen, we'll wrap it up here. We've had a good chat chat. I've enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:Liquid death is getting slugged back sponsor this podcast big checks, get them rolling in it was brilliant having you on.
Speaker 1:Thank you for coming in. Thanks for having me you're the man boy, I mean.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you a funny story actually before we go. Do you remember the day me and Seamon came up to the train with you and you were doing a bit of sparring or whatever, and you were like, just you know, sparring me a wee bit or whatever, and I think I maybe grazed you in the head a tiny bit and you just turned around to Shane and went tie him gloves and I was like what did you do you have for him?
Speaker 1:Fuck's sake, shane, fuck's sake, you're a. Lads have to go.
Speaker 2:I forgot how to go in. That's me, that's me.
Speaker 1:Two lads have to go. I forgot, that's me, that's me.
Speaker 2:Two lads have only got five nights. Great times. Cheers for having me, man. Yes, you're the man downstairs with a cappuccino up in this bitch.