.png)
The Public Nuisance Podcast
Host Sean McComb interviews various guests
The Public Nuisance Podcast
The Public Nuisance Podcast #007 “Turkey on The Barbie” with Micky Bartlett
Welcome to a new episode of The Public Nuisance Podcast with me, Sean McComb.
This week we welcome N.I. Comedian, Micky Bartlett to our Christmas Special.
We cover Christmas, Australia, Turkey, Haunted Studios, Throwing weapons, Kids touting, large logs, Boxing, Shane Todd V Conor Burns, Rubber Swords and much more.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Sean McComb
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmccomb/
Killen Studios
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/killenstudio/
Website: https://killenstudios.com/
That Prize Guy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatprizeguy/
Website: https://thatprizeguy.co.uk/
JFH Social
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jfh_social/
Website: https://www.jfhsocial.com/
The Public News Ins Sean McCann. Welcome to this episode.
Speaker 2:We have an atmosphere over here. That was a pure accident.
Speaker 3:Foggy, g, foggy, g, fa, la, la, la, la, la la. Salman's just going to fit in the chimney. It's the ghost of Christmas past coming out. The studio's haunted the poltergeist. Fuck's sake, I'm fucking out.
Speaker 2:I'm a professional, I'm gonna go.
Speaker 3:Welcome to this episode of the Public Nations. Oh fuck, I can't even think straight. Welcome to this episode of the Public Nations. Oh fuck, I can't even think straight.
Speaker 1:Welcome to this episode of the Public Nations from Killin' Studios where we record our podcast and you can get all your media work done, from photo shoots, podcasts, you name it right here. Today is our Christmas special with Mickey Bartlett.
Speaker 2:What's up, motherfuckers?
Speaker 1:You'll probably notice I'm a wee bit teary eyed aye we're just talking awful sad stories.
Speaker 3:I've only burned all the funny stuff sitting here and I've been like what are you doing? Nothing else to talk about. All the fucking fun's gone. We're fucking laughing. I love to see it. As soon as somebody claps, I go, I don't know what to talk about, I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1:I'm frozen. Yeah, what's been happening here, Mickey?
Speaker 2:Fuck all of it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:No, I was on the street for a wee month holiday. I'm fucking. That's why I've got a tan. You're real tan, I'm fucking, it was that hot. It was like 35, 36're real tan. I'm not fucking. It was that hot, it was like 35 36 degrees. So I'm ginger and can't go outside, like I'm just sitting in air conditioned houses. Oh, this is lovely this is living.
Speaker 1:Just got pishman for a month three weeks, it was class you were training over or two, I was training like fuck.
Speaker 2:I was training every day and drinking every night. I put it's a few panels.
Speaker 3:It's not really. It's all about panels. It's all about panels being like fuck don't want to train too hard.
Speaker 1:It's time of year, isn't that weird?
Speaker 2:being in the sun, it was weird coming back because I was out. I was out for Christmas last year and a wee bit of me was like fuck you, it's not the same when there's a big fucking spud dinner on Christmas day and all that sort of thing what did you do?
Speaker 1:what did you eat?
Speaker 2:don't see, there's always a hang like it was all pork and all and fucking. They were all eating shrimp off the barbie. I can't eat fucking turkey on the barbie.
Speaker 3:Turkey on the barbie, I wish mate, but they were eating fucking.
Speaker 2:I was all prawns and I can't eat prawns if they've still got eyes.
Speaker 3:I was fucking what are you talking about, prawns?
Speaker 2:I'm a bad one. I'm a bad one, and they don't drink the same either. That's one thing about. That's why they're all dead healthy out there like they'll drink, but they'll stop drinking when the pub stops, whereas I'm all you're leading the way. What the?
Speaker 1:fuck on your own, on your wife absolutely.
Speaker 2:My missus told me off. We went to a wedding and I took a beer on the bus on the way back.
Speaker 1:Pre-drinking or coming back.
Speaker 2:Coming back, she's like what the fuck are you doing that for? I was like it's a wedding, you don't stop yet that's only starting. Aye, under my jacket.
Speaker 1:We fucking straw, we're all hanging thin.
Speaker 2:So that was one thing. The weather's one thing, the weather's class. I hate the cold weather, yeah.
Speaker 1:I remember, because my mother-in-law lived in Australia for years and had my wife in Australia, so she's actually an Australian citizen, oh sure enough, I had a bar from fucking Brisbane right, what'd you do? It's just from the vaccine. That time I got arrested, but uh did you get arrested over there. Australia for public nations, causing public nations oh, that happened in Australia.
Speaker 1:It's not really a fuck ride they always say, like on Christmas, on Christmas, christmas day, we all went down to the beach and had beach parties with like fucking Santa hats and red fucking bikinis, and it was just all like a wee good crack. You know, man, all your friends and I was like that sounds fucking shit.
Speaker 2:Aye, there's something about like before we went like I go get in trouble with this my, my girlfriend's two uncles were there and they're both. They're both dead now because he had a bad shrimp, but I'd never met him before and it was. They're both deaf, but one of them was deaf and embarrassed about it so he'd whisper, and the other one would shout like fuck. And they were both talking to me at the same time and I was just like it's like listening to two different radios.
Speaker 2:I can't fucking, I can't go any of this like, but I, you definitely do miss, like just the fucking. Do you know that full week of drinking? I know Just, but here, tell us, like would you have because you're training them in, aren't you so like? Are you going to be able to fucking have a full Christmas, or are you going to be?
Speaker 1:It depends when I'm fighting. Usually now nothing's been confirmed yet, so usually if I was fighting like within eight weeks, I wouldn't drink within eight weeks so if I was fainting within 8 weeks after Christmas, I wouldn't drink. I would try and fucking rain it in a wee bit. But I've no news yet.
Speaker 1:I've no fucking feelings so I'm still waiting now there is talk about maybe potentially fainting on the 1st of March in the Odyssey, which will give me time to drink over Christmas. But you say, like it's a week of drinking, but then see, when it hits December, it's Christmas so it's fucking, it's hard to.
Speaker 2:I know I went and did libraries last night. It wasn't even supposed to be on, just went and did new stuff and then the way home was all fuck it's.
Speaker 1:Christmas I'm going to get Chinese I know, that's the way you go. It's just fucking. Everyone just near enough switches off.
Speaker 2:December kicks in the.
Speaker 1:Christmas market's here kicks in the Christmas market's here. You go into town next thing oh go for a wee beer and the town's busy. There's the atmosphere, it's very easy, there's high winds out there 100%.
Speaker 2:I love it, fuck, I love it.
Speaker 1:I'm going back to Australia, but you miss it.
Speaker 2:You said you were raising, coming home like I was down like just because, because I'd missed a winter. So, like I, I went out in December last year and stayed until about May, june and then left again start of November. So it kind of it didn't like. It was still autumn when I left, it wasn't too cold, and then I was getting photos from people at home just like fuck, like I hadn't seen a bogey on the pavement in about a year.
Speaker 2:So when you're walking down the street and you see, it's like but I love it out there, like it's if you could make a living off, stand up right there, I'd be there full time, like 100% so they don't do Christmas dinner at all, they do Christmas dinner but they don't do big spud dinners. I know a couple of a mate who, his man, does English and he says they do big full Yorkshire puddings and full gear, but he's like trying to eat that in 40 degree heat.
Speaker 1:I know I'm very sorry to interrupt this show to tell you about my fantastic haircut from JFH Social, where you can get your haircut. You can book in online. They have four shops, well, three. Fourth pending from the Lisburn Road, ormo Road, newcastle County Down, and the fourth coming to the Daphne's Complex on Fianna Fáil Road, also Newcastle County Darren. And the fourth coming to the Daphne's Complex on Finnegan Road. Also, we'll not forget that praise guy who support communities over the north of Ireland and handing out fantastic prizes millions and millions of pounds worth of prizes to be won. Check out their Instagram and their socials and get yourself in the mix to win some big loot. Wouldn't be a shame going abroad and doing that no but and their sewer system can't handle an Irish shite.
Speaker 2:That's what I've noticed. The sewers can't handle an Irish shite. Every time you flush a toilet it's still looking at you. You're all fucking, I'll bust their double.
Speaker 1:There's a phone, a warning in five minutes to get out the warning, fucking retains.
Speaker 3:It's got eyes of that shrimp.
Speaker 2:I have. I was mad at a shite. My ma broke her leg the day before her 50th birthday. She fucking mangled her leg and they put her in all these fucking mad painkillers now because she couldn't shite for weeks, fucking weeks, got her backed off the fuck she could. She could walk on the landing one day with two crutches and she's like quick, quick, move, move, move. I don't know how long she's in the bathroom for right and she came out with one crutch. She goes son, don't go in there. Don't, don't go in there. Dawn's like a shillelagh and this shite wouldn't flush, fucking, wouldn't come out. And I remember going I swear to fuck. This thing was massive right, and I fucking, I couldn't stop laughing and she wouldn't phone a plumber Because she didn't want people Talking about her right.
Speaker 2:She would be like I was in the bartender's house that second fucking Swear to fuck. I would have one of those in the house of my own and she had a statue of Padre Pio on top of the statue the patron saint of stock shit, it's like fuck me she'll fucking kill me. We're telling her the podcast, but fucking she'll fuck the fuck shitty. Markel's day. How, that's what.
Speaker 2:I'm doing, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm matter, oh fuck.
Speaker 1:I can imagine just being like what do you mean, man?
Speaker 3:go on to Facebook has anyone got a cereal to get at me? I?
Speaker 2:think, fuck, it was pre-Facebook. She should have put a photo. There's no way she wouldn't put a photo up like catch of the day. Maybe not put a photo?
Speaker 3:put him around the common character and started Plumber and the common cat and it's there like a club.
Speaker 2:It was there that long I was paying housekeep.
Speaker 3:Oh, fuck me. I was there done for a year, a year.
Speaker 2:The annual. There was memories and all of that. It was like Showed the cut of the earth open. You can see how long, how long ago, dinosaurs were it's all different colours. It was a fucking dinosaur following one sweet corn.
Speaker 3:At the bottom there's a sweet corn at the bottom, fucking hell. Now sweet corn is next one. Oh, holy good fuck, oh, fucking hell. You knew this was gonna be so funny. Oh no, oh, fucking hell. You knew a shake Would be so funny, I know.
Speaker 2:Fuck, it was funny, that's what I had once. You just fucking. I never. Every time, anytime we're in company, I'm all Nah, remember that time, don't you dare. I fucking killed you. You're gonna be Bit my wife's shake. Oh fuck.
Speaker 3:Oh fuck, we're living on the edge Every time. You're not gonna eat the next fucking dinner, for you're going to be a bit more shite.
Speaker 1:Oh, fuck me living on the edge every time you're not going to eat the night, the brick and tenner flow of famine you're not, you're not, you're not letting it come there's no photos of me in the house anymore.
Speaker 2:It's almost, it's the photos. That's the son I never had. They had to knock a roof down and go through the stories to get an epidural in 30 years fuck me.
Speaker 3:People thought we adopted a black kid. Holy fuck any awkwark, any awkwark, any awkwark, any awkwark, any awkwark, any awkwark, any awkwark, any awkwark, holy fuck, but no, see, back to fucking who's Stephen Hawking, was telling me this guy.
Speaker 2:I always say his name twice because people go Stephen Hawking. But he told me when he was boxing as a kid was it the juniors? What used to be in January juniors would be January aye is it still like that or have they changed it? Because he was telling me when he was growing up all his mates were out at Christmas and he's just in the house.
Speaker 1:The juniors would be. I know the seniors. The Irish seniors are always in January, february. That's a pain in the hole and the juniors would be like April, may, summertime, but the seniors every year were January.
Speaker 2:I had a fucking ruin Christmas.
Speaker 1:Same time I turned pro See from like 2000, say 2011, 2010. I think my first year as a senior was from 2010 until the 2000. I'd say 2020, maybe 2019, no 2020.
Speaker 2:I didn't have a single Christmas fucking hell, man, like you've been training Christmas day and all that sort of stuff every day seriously because of the cut weight and it was so
Speaker 1:close. And then even when I turned pro, I would have like over a few times I fought in January as well, especially the starting pro because I was so active, so it was just fucking a nightmare. And then whenever you do fight in the competition, you were, you're like, you're a lone wolf, right like you're in Australia you're on your own, because everyone's done all their drinking over. Christmas and they're off, it come January and you're like come on, you're trying to get people to go out with. So when you?
Speaker 2:start, nobody's up for it.
Speaker 1:Like you're going down to your bar and fucking wancing out by. Derby play Huddersfield.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing once you go into a pub by yourself, that's fucking bliss. I fucking love it. Hard to whack, it's hard to beat.
Speaker 1:There's not, there's fucking. There's enough of that to be said about it. Aye, there's nothing I enjoy more than going see. When we were in New York my missus was going shopping. I told her before we went, I last year, she says you can go and shop if you want. Just know that when we go around I'm not going shopping, all right. So the last day or second last day, she, I was down and she was like one of me said go ahead, go yeah. I told him I'm not going to say great, okay. And I went down to lexington's ice bar on my own and I just sat there, swan, while she was shopping and she didn't even touch me or didn't care. She just knew that was the deal right and I was fucking it's a class one.
Speaker 2:I did the same thing.
Speaker 1:I had a chap saying something flying his way from Boston talking shit aye.
Speaker 2:I did the same thing in New York. I went to fucking, we were staying. We were actually staying near Ground Zero. Tribeca, tribeca, aye. And I found a wee dive bar around the corner and I was just suspended, peeler, fucking, drinking all day like fucking loved it.
Speaker 1:Powerful, especially Dave, but there's so much characters in it absolutely, but they'll be sitting on their own and you're dying to make a conversation with someone like you. Keep making eye contact and hopefully this fucks me. I just want to talk with someone and then the all time.
Speaker 2:I remember one time in New York I was Just doing that exact same thing and a guy was saying Big fucking giant American fella. And I could tell he was. You could just tell From the guy he was in the army and now he's a cop and straight away he's pulling out photos Of his fucking the bird he's cheating on his wife with. And I was like I don't even know him. If I could call him for questions, it was him the only thing you do is fucking.
Speaker 1:That's it we always have a laugh. I go fuck me if I'm in any trouble. I'm taking the whole empire down.
Speaker 3:I ain't just telling the nylons, I'm fucking rat you out.
Speaker 1:I'm not in this on my own. I would take the whole empire down him him.
Speaker 2:I remember we did it once we were kids. We were throwing eggs at fucking lorries on Halloween and we were being safe about it. We'll just hit lorries, we'll just take it, rid of the eggs, and then one left my mate was all fuck it.
Speaker 2:There's a beamer and he threw his egg and whatever way it hit, the fucking you know, like the wee sort of panel between the door and the window, whatever way he hit, going to chase us this far, turn around. He's just fucking who threw the egg. It was him. He lived somewhere. I don't even live here. I don't have any eggs.
Speaker 3:I'm the youngest here. I was only watching him of 12 pounder when I was that tough. I'll probably get a clean.
Speaker 2:I have a fucking voice for him. I can download better crack a jail of Rolly Gany man.
Speaker 1:I remember a few years ago. I don't really see that now where kids even doing stuff like that, like, even like the caps, we were drove by every time the caps drove by.
Speaker 1:You'd see something at the caps from right, like from up from where I'm from, and seeing Ivan, kids you would have. He would have had certain houses, he would have always chased you aye, and you know, would have always got to chase him, would have had a laugh. But seeing Ivan, I never see kids doing that like wee groups of kids going around hitting windows and running aye I don't see it anymore but I was saying is it shaming? I don't know, I just sit fucking ring doorbell camera, I'm going.
Speaker 2:I hope someone hits that window but it's one of those things too, if you catch one like, what do you do if you catch one of those kids, I don't know?
Speaker 3:boot the hole in them stick box and goes on my feet and boot the hole in them. Fucking right, go get your time fuck off around the door if you want to have us.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to say that one day, get the fuck around the door. I I can't wait to see it one day I remember us one time we were throwing fucking same thing.
Speaker 2:We were just throwing stones over a hedge. It was muckballs, right muckballs, but we were fucking. It was a stone, not our fault just fucking with lorries and cars or whatever and fucking. Somebody must have hit a windscreen with a stone right and it was this wee country road in Lurgan. So we all just fucking and he looked like it was mid 90s but he looked like he was in a Troubles advert doing like a fucking bomber jacket and a moustache, like what the fuck it was, the doc, wasn't it? I swear to fuck. I say fuck all, but he goes. He shared this with five or six of us and he goes. I know your dad and one of what the fuck was that young fella's name? He goes, who me? And he goes, goes. I know your dad and one of the other wheelers goes. He doesn't even know his fucking dad who is he?
Speaker 3:I know your dad boys. What's his name? Fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1:We got a thing see on the motor bypass and like up Kennedy way, that was all getting done up and it was like all cones and sandbags away doing it.
Speaker 1:And we climbed to the realm. We were in the way of state in Turf L up and it was like all cones and sandbags away doing it. And we climbed over the rail and we were in the way of state in Turf Lodge and there was a. We went over and stole a sandbag and we pulled the sandbag over and we were getting empty crisp packets in the alleyway and fucking over the rail and cars ran down and won a bypass and we were all having a laugh and I was standing on top of the railing and I looked across the alleyway so we had to go up the main road back in the estate, through the estate and up in the alleyway, so obviously neither way about turf lodge. And he came up. We thought he just drove up on round one of bypass and he came in through turf laws and I looked up and I seen a wee some fella pushing his door closed, creeping up and I was like lads, oh sure man. So I scaled around around and I thought I was messing about and I was at the other side of the railing on the actual bypass he came up the alleyway and punched the fucker to my face so
Speaker 3:they all fucking fell out with me and they were like where did you tell?
Speaker 1:us. I went the fuck until you were going. I was full of shit and they were going that man and then scaring us and it actually was your man. There's a time when he punched the fuck out of him and I was like fuck him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, see you later. Take a punch to the busted mouth, busted down, and I was like fuck, fucking hell.
Speaker 2:There's no such thing as child abuse. In the end of the day, you wouldn't get away right now.
Speaker 1:Fuck, you'd be on my Facebook.
Speaker 3:Fuck him, mickey. He deserves it, he had it coming.
Speaker 1:Fucking hell. He deserved it, he had it coming. Fucking hell. I bet you wouldn't even get away with that now, even with social media, because see if you were know what happened, see if you were to do stuff like that now, kids would be starting recording.
Speaker 2:I remember that being a thing where, like, tiktok would just come out and there was rats somewhere in Belfast and all the kids were fucking touting themselves aye, I was like what are you doing?
Speaker 1:the cops have TikTok as well, like you're fucking giving your whole location away 100%.
Speaker 2:What are you fucking?
Speaker 3:mask on old school saying to someone else's account can't you blur your face?
Speaker 1:take it out. But yeah, there was a fella like they stole that. Can you remember? They stole that Amazon. There was an Amazon bike stolen in Belfast the new bikes no, don't know why. So Belfast the new bikes. So apparently there was, like I actually had it on my tiktok. There was a load of kids, I think from Davis or Beechmount or something, and they stole it at one of them new Amazon bikes, electric bikes in town. But it has like a wee carrier truck on the back of it full of like parcels and these kids, your mom must have got off and.
Speaker 1:And then the kids jumped on it and were having a laugh flying away. Then they got so far away they were like fuck it, this is full of parcels. They went up to Falls Park and racked it and pulled it all apart and kept all the parcels, put the raw video on their snapchat and it was going around in whatsapp groups so obviously people knew who it was. It was fucking history because it was on their snapchat.
Speaker 2:That's stupid. Like back in the day you would have just had to explain to your ma why you had a vibrator.
Speaker 3:I know, don't have that I thought it was a plastic door.
Speaker 2:I got out for it. I've got a soda stream.
Speaker 3:I put them in for a clean. It's not going to be a rubber ball.
Speaker 2:It's not a rubber ball. It didn't even bounce off the ground, it just fucking stuck in.
Speaker 3:I've seen it coming and it turned red.
Speaker 2:Maybe half a pound of butter up your hole too. Get it right out.
Speaker 3:I got in the hot day job. Maybe we spoke about this before your faith. Can you remember saying that Someone thugs over a box and I'm there catching the hole? Do it again. I GMS'd Throw it off. It's vibrant. I GMS'd oh fuck me.
Speaker 2:I don't remember anything. I thought he must have hit me harder than I thought. Oh, fuck me, I was a cracker. Oh, fuck me, fuck me. I don't remember anything about that fight. Thought he must have hit me harder than I thought.
Speaker 3:Oh, fuck me. I was a cracker, oh fuck.
Speaker 2:Face of Kilmer. So what's you?
Speaker 1:think it might be March. Then for the next fight, march aye, hopefully they've all gone well. There's an option there. I think there may be a fight at the end of January, which will be tight, but it don't matter, because I've been training anyway. And if it is, if it's the one in January, it won't be a big fight. It'll be like a warmer fight if it goes ahead.
Speaker 2:That is so I'll keep training over Christmas anyway so like would you have like the course of normal year if you've fights lined up, do you just? Do you just train all year anyway? Aw it, you just train all year, anyway. It's my full time job like, really like.
Speaker 1:Obviously I've got the gym like, but for me, as a like, as a at this level, the level I can pay out, I should be training full time you know what I mean. So I would train four or five days a week, still like so what's that?
Speaker 2:what's that like? How many hours a day is that you're doing?
Speaker 1:I would do like, once I go into camp full like full camp right I have a fight announced and it's like six, eight weeks away and twice a day, and that would be like morning would be a boxing session, evening would be either running or strength right or whatever sort of training that is, and then every morning's boxing right, every evening's either strength or cardio, fucking hell, and that's every Monday to Friday right or cardio, fucking hell.
Speaker 1:That's every Monday to Monday to Friday. I'll take a Saturday and Sunday off, just completely rest, recover, if you need it. Exactly as far as if you're sparring all. You'll be sore as fuck now once, if you have serious weight issues, I'll just keep ticking over. I'll do like a slow run, recovery run on a Saturday, just to keep keep the weight off you know what I mean, because some fighters me I'm lucky enough I don't drop too much weight, but some people need to drop like fucking two stone before a fight.
Speaker 1:I mean a lot of them don't have it on them like. Their body fat percentage will be right down, like where I always do it nicely. I only set a bit of stone over. So I would drop. I would just gradually do it over eight weeks. It's easy enough, but it gives me the. I can actually take the Saturdays and Sundays off without worrying about weight. You know what I mean, but I I wish I had that.
Speaker 2:I can fucking at that point in my life. I can lose about half a stone in about two weeks and put three stone on in 45 minutes. I know that's what happens.
Speaker 1:It's like people indulge, if you do stuff quickly, if you like, neglect yourself. That's what happens. People, even people in our gym like General Pop try and lose weight so quick. Aye, and they lose it and they're all happy, but then they just over and go aye one biscuit straight back on it and then they put two stone back on aye, so they could lose a stone in, say, two weeks. And then they're like fuck, I've been so good, I've been so good, I can't wait to get a Chinese.
Speaker 2:My heart fucking flat out that's what I've done my whole life. And then it happens to me now. Aye, I drop a stone and then I go fuck, that was easy.
Speaker 1:Nah, fuck, I can have this, it'll be alright.
Speaker 2:And then fucking six weeks later you're like what the fuck happened to me exactly what happens.
Speaker 1:It's a common thing and the body craves it so much because you've been so fucking strict on. When I always went back to camp, I was always heavier, heavier, heavier and you're going. I must be like, come on, you're going, stunned. But now I'm just at a stage now where I'm just sustaining it and I'm happy like it's not one bit harder for me to make weight. It's easy, so it's powerful. People always I'm very tough, my weight massive, and people go you must struggle to make up with and I'm like, nah, I make it easy as fuck and I do like I don't actually struggle at all, so it's more enjoyable aye, I talked to a couple of boxers over the years that like told me about fucking even like Christmas Day in a sauna with a fucking bin bag and a towel, just fucking skipping.
Speaker 1:Aye, I've done it a few times out running Sweats you. On Christmas day, full gear sweats you.
Speaker 2:What's that even?
Speaker 1:feel like Just fucking, it's just Draining. It's just draining, there's no oxygen. You're trying to get oxygen Into your body and then when you get home, you're just Sapped, and then when you take it off, after about 15-20 minutes you feel good again.
Speaker 2:But, you're still starving, dehydrated, because it's just, that's one of the things that, like you see it a lot of times in the UFC with the weigh ins. It's the day before, isn't it the weigh ins? And you can see.
Speaker 1:I remember McGregor looking like he put two stone on and it was all fluid people, just because there's a method of what like water loading, I don't do it. But 90% of professional fighters at a decent level do it like especially MMA. They would all do it, all do it in UFC, where they water load. So they would drink like the week of the fight. They would drink like 8, between 8 and 10 litres of water on the first day of water loading. Now that's hard to drink 8 or 10 litres and they just piss like fuck, non-stop pissing. Second day they'll drink like nine litres or say seven litres, and then third day drink five litres and they keep dropping. But they've tricked their body into believing they're still getting nine litres because they're used to drinking so much litres. And then on the last day they just stop and their body thinks there's water coming in and just keeps pissing, pissing, pissing, expect more to come and then they just completely like drain themselves out. But I don't do it.
Speaker 2:I can't be good for you.
Speaker 1:There wasn't a guy, nah you're literally taking everything out of your body.
Speaker 2:You're just losing everything. I know a guy, a mate of a mate, who he got obsessed with fucking bodybuilding. We were in like late 20, maybe 26, and he was new bodybuilders. Do that fucking like extreme dehydration for?
Speaker 2:competition as well, but he was doing that all the time because he was, he was just trying to maintain a six pack so I think somebody was tell me we get up in the morning, fucking, work out, go to work, eat next to fuck all and then come home, work out in the evening again and then have like steak, broccoli and a bottle of white wine to try and dehydrate them to even more. I need a fucking stroke at 26. That's insane craziness.
Speaker 1:That's insane, that's just extreme. That's what they do. It's cool, they're all extremes, but it's like it's hard to trust a process when you've never done it, so like there's new. Obviously the science now is far better in sports like that, where they can tell you exactly how to do it and you just need to follow it and trust it. But people don't trust it because they've never done it before. No, you know what I mean, where, like, I have a nutritionist, a friend who's a nutritionist and he's worked with me like from my time, professionally work with me now.
Speaker 1:I used to go old school and there's worse sweatsuit every day for like 4 or 5 weeks training and wouldn't get fitter and was wondering why? Because you're constantly fucked. Then I wouldn't fight and be fucked. And then that's old school. People still do that, a lot of people still do that in boxing and when I would just wait until do your ring right, eat the right foods, eat the right calories, track the right foods, hit the right protein targets and then right up until fight week, fight week, you take away carbs, take away fibre couple of days out and then over time, within that week you can drop like 10 pounds like that without any struggle, and then the last day or two you just take a sweatshirt on and drop like 4 pounds. That's you on the wheel.
Speaker 2:That's how I do it the fact that my job I'm like I have to think and talk at the same time when it's real hard.
Speaker 3:Drink Aye All at once.
Speaker 2:Aye, it's a nightmare, that's fucking nightmare. That's fucking mad, this one. And so what like? What was? How old were you when you started boxing?
Speaker 1:Eight had my first fight when I was eight, seriously, aw. 32 and a half years haven't been beat yet I wasn't born. I guess I wasn't born. I guess believe it or not but it's such a.
Speaker 1:It's such a like, because I only started boxing training whenever we were doing the comedian thing last year people don't believe me when I tell them it's still this day, like someone says me recently I was telling and they said they were like he must have done a bit of boxing when he was younger. I said I don't know. He's had any involvement in anything like it.
Speaker 2:I did a wee bit of like taekwondo but it was my science teacher at my school was teaching it in the parish hall, do you know what I mean? It was one of them things where I was going. I think I got a green belt in it and I was like I can fight, like fuck. And then I got in. Taekwon was a piece of shit.
Speaker 3:I was fucking like Did you see how many times he hit me, that's all.
Speaker 2:He didn't even buy Fucking piece of shit. But no, I hadn't boxed at all.
Speaker 1:Because even me I was telling I don't think he has. But you're very natural, like there's natural ability, your move and stuff it's. People are like that.
Speaker 2:I think it just looks like that Because I'm a wee, fucking short guy. I have to get close to you. It looks like I can box. I'm just trying to see you, I'm steaming, but it's fucking. It's one of those things where we're like there's something about it, there's something about boxing and comedians. It just feels like the same thing. Do you know what I mean? It's the same sort of mentality. Yes, do you know what I mean? It becomes your whole fucking life.
Speaker 1:It's like when we were saying Shane, shane was just like it became his life.
Speaker 2:I couldn't. Shane was fucking mental. I remember, like the, we did it the first year. And who was Shane fighting the first year?
Speaker 1:Johnny Bo, johnny Bo, yeah, and we trained with you one day and I came back and within five weeks I was like Shane's an animal.
Speaker 2:He literally just he's so professional what he does. Do you know what I mean? If he's doing something, he's doing it full, exemplary, he's all in, he's not half hearted definitely because I was trying to do one more. Do one more comedians boxing, because even just for the money we raise and stuff you go. It was, and Shane's fully just like I can't it's always a brilliant night.
Speaker 1:It's fucking classic but, he's like, as he says, he can't because he's all in. You were away on living life.
Speaker 3:You were you were drunk when you were sober. It's under the box there's a hangover now don't hit me too hard. He earned a rate to drink because he was training hit me in the head.
Speaker 2:I can't feel that, but I'm fucking, I'm 10 Guinness last night.
Speaker 3:I'm fucking scared to fart here. He had a ball guard on back to front.
Speaker 2:Inside out too. I'm fucking it's, it was a fucking. He's a different type of person when he comes to shit like that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Just being so professional and switched on. It's like it's almost like not wanting to do anything wrong. No, like I think it's sort of like, as that means he doesn't want to do something and look bad doing it. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:I think there's because he's there's him, haggerty's the same and so is Geddes. They all played sports when they were kids, yeah, so they've got like a competitive thing built into them, not even competitive, whereas I did Taekwondo for six weeks, got a greenbelt and went nah, fuck it.
Speaker 3:I'm class of drinking. Quit my head Hi, twelve years of age, carrying a pot.
Speaker 2:But I'd fucking, I'd love to do another one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd love to. Shane was saying about maybe giving it a miss this year, like giving the whole show a miss this year, aye, and then go next year to sort of build a wee bit of interest again but I think interest is still there.
Speaker 2:I mean interest is even like the views online the live link 100%, because the two times we've done it it's sold out within fucking five minutes and it's like it's some night.
Speaker 1:It's great for us too because everybody fucking bonds.
Speaker 2:Now there's about a week where everybody's like, see, if I see, every one of us is like I hope somebody does try something. And then you fucking turn up on the day. You're like, alright, mate, gonna beat each other up. See you in a bit. I was just going to take a holiday. It's just fucking great.
Speaker 1:I remember Colin saying I said just go and just take, like we're running, and I was like just suss him out because he's a boxer, like if he I wasn't doing his corner, conrad Cummings was doing his corner, but I didn't want to step on Conrad's toes, I was just going in and suss him out. From the year before, when Ronan was fighting Paddy, ronan sort of took it easy on Paddy. He was sussing him out and showboating him and letting him do what he?
Speaker 1:wanted to step on him. I was doing Ronan's corner and I said just relax. And enjoy, go in and enjoy it. Bit of crack for Charlie and he did that's something like as a boxer and someone who's fought before. You sort of know that respect and you know like not to cross them boundaries and just beat someone up, take prisoners.
Speaker 1:So I told Colin Gaddis, just go out and just suss about, because I knew Ronan would do it back with him and like he only fed him at his level, fucking Gattis went out and threw two hand-meaners right away and he caught one of them, and one of them I thought yes.
Speaker 2:Ronan says to me the next day he goes. He says, gattis, hit me once and I'm not taking two of them because Gattis should fucking get in the head.
Speaker 2:I trained with him one day down in oh fuck, and the guy holding the pads was going fucking hell. He's heavy-handed and he's quick too, because he's. Have you ever seen a video of Geddes? I'll get him to show you. When he was about 12 and he was doing gymnastics Right, the same build right. Doing backflips Right. He's a fucking anomaly. I remember one time he had a PT before he was getting married and we went down to do a training session and he was doing toe-ups right. But he's that heavy the bar was bending and he's just fucking flicking his feet up like it's nothing to him.
Speaker 1:That's serious core strength. I feel like for a specialist, I feel like that's it.
Speaker 2:I mean, he's an animal.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I was saying to Shane, you don't really need it, you don rebuild it because it's always there, like, especially if you look individually how much following you have Shane has individually, gareth has individually, like all you comedians have individually, because it's so booming at the minute in this place if you all come together. Thank you, all them following that's the thing.
Speaker 2:We met one of the girls from the children's cancer unit and the amount, the difference, the money made. I know I just started laughing, that nice thing, but the difference the money that we raised made it's fucking worth it.
Speaker 1:I know it's worth it. You go and fight a professional fighter just for the fucking fun reasons. Yeah, 100%, it's the CM who's seeing the benefits. 100%. I think Shane's going wanna fight Connor Burns on the 15th February and he says and he says yeah, and he says no, I wouldn't do that, but I'll definitely do something. Aye, I'm like no, fair enough. So I said to Connor Burns Connor Burns is fighting Saturday here in Balikazan. He is. He is told me he's going to beat Shane to his bison. So Shane has said, yes, I'll do something, aye. But he doesn't know he's faking Connor Burns. But he is faking Connor Burns as he says, yes, I'll do something, aye, he's faking Connor Burns. Then and he says no, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't. You're going to have to. Conor Burns is going to come out swinging for the hills. So it's all in cracking like it's the 15th of February, so I'll be oh, but they're fucking right.
Speaker 2:I've got nothing on get up and get on, get on you can do the corners, all right up in the chair, conor Burns it was one of those because after we did the comedians one, I never Paddy was fighting the bear and they were like, would anybody else want to jump in? I was all I'll do it for the craic, just to keep training, and then immediately went actually no, don't actually want to fight somebody that can fight.
Speaker 1:Oh that's okay, I know, because bear beat up Paddy, didn't he?
Speaker 2:nah, it was good. It was a good fucking scrap, that's good because, like you and Paddy were draw but, zero to zero. He gets more draws than a lot of. He's like zero to zero, but he tell you what he fucking see. I've watched our fight back about fucking 30 times because Paddy texts me the next day and goes here don't watch it back. We don't look as good as we think we do and I was all.
Speaker 1:I look fucking class I don't know, just looking bottom of the moon, but uh he was moving like going.
Speaker 2:He was fighting off the back foot. I remember at the time going. I don't think he hit me in the third round and I watched the backers going he actually did.
Speaker 1:I was walking in the ring like fuck, I'll get you because his kids go to my kids school, so I see him every morning.
Speaker 2:We come to their school and he's limping his gout or something his feet are fucked and I'm like how did he box his gout was fucking bad I know, and he was moving around like fucking. I think there's something you'd probably know more about it. There's definitely something with people that have things like gout. If you start looking after your dad and training, it fucking helps because you've seen the weight and all he lost he lost by fucking four stone he lost serious, but he looks far better and healthier, 100% definitely but it's fucking.
Speaker 2:I just love it. I know let's do an all one Shane motherfucker, let's go. I reckon we'll talk him into it.
Speaker 1:We're asking for it. Do you know what?
Speaker 2:I mean It'll be a good rematch, him and Hagerty again.
Speaker 1:The people want it I know, Hagerty will probably want it. He has that wee bit of competitiveness.
Speaker 2:He can fucking hit hard too I remember the first one Me and him did a wee spar together one day and it was, and I'm like bang, just felt my lips go and my brain went. He'll not do that again. And then he did it's like fucking hell.
Speaker 1:It's a good show like. And then Willie and the the ring girl thing.
Speaker 2:He's fucking class see the thing about Willie is and we've said it ever since like he works harder than anybody on the night of the fight. So see if he's a cerebral palsy but see, for two days after his palsy kicks in and his wee hands, he's like a question mark. God love him like we. The fight was a Wednesday. We did a podcast on the Friday and William came fucking hobbling in and me and Shane were like you, look like you were fighting.
Speaker 1:I know, but he puts a fucking serious shift in. I know he puts it in, he's persistent, he just keeps like and every time he's in the ring he does something different.
Speaker 2:I know, so say there's fucking 10 fights you've watched 30 times.
Speaker 1:I know you've done a different way. Yeah and he slays it and he's jumping and he's like a wrestler, 100%. He's like a wee wrestler.
Speaker 2:I had this idea that we'd probably never be able to do it because it would actually be too dangerous. But I was like we'll do another Comedians Box. We all learn to wrestle as well, right, but there'll be no gigs on for a year. Like we all learn to wrestle and then at the very end of it do a Royal Rumble and Willie gets to win because he puts he puts the most work in and everybody's like do you know how fucking, how quickly you'll get your spine snapped trying to learn to wrestle.
Speaker 1:Trying to learn pulls him on back but I'd fucking love that I think it would be class.
Speaker 2:I'd fucking love that I'd probably lather chops in there, which?
Speaker 3:part. Do you want to wear that onesie pattern? 100% Fucking brilliant. You might as well be doing it down there, fucking lather chops. Dude, if I was in the great window he'd be bar knuckle He'd be swinging around.
Speaker 2:I don't even want knuckle, but we really like this.
Speaker 3:I'll say it then. Do you know how it's done?
Speaker 2:shit in that fuck's sake. I think it would be great we'd need to do another, because that was because that was the thing this year as well. I didn't see half the fights because the year before we had a laptop in the dress rooms we were sort of streaming so you had to keep fucking nipping out to see things.
Speaker 2:And there was Before our one, because I think it was Diona and Bruna, and then it was Pete Giffen, sean McAlevey and then me and Paddy. Yeah, so I'm standing getting ready to get the wraps put on and Diona's Diona comes up With a tin of gin and tonic. You're affected.
Speaker 3:She goes over 45 seconds that was a fucking mismatch. She cut her foot, shane.
Speaker 2:I know and brought in that helmet too. Going over it looked like one of them fucking bobble heads on the fucking dashboard creating her the tactical bag, put him down like a little party, just go boom back up again and do you know? Because there was a photo one of the sessions they were training with you and you see Diona hitting the bag and see the fucking muscles on her.
Speaker 1:She's strong as fuck. She's strong as fuck. She's actually a good boxer. Aye, she's good. She's a good fighter. God help Sean, he was home.
Speaker 2:Hello, charlie, she had a punchy head. Remember when you were in school? If there was two fellas fighting, you'd walk down and watch it. If there was two girls fighting, you'd fucking run down and watch it.
Speaker 1:I 100%, because they're they're vicious, they're vicious bitches.
Speaker 2:I remember one time being in a pub in Lurgan it wasn't Lurgan, it was somewhere else and uh, there was like clumps of hair rolling about the car park. Right, it turned out it I had to beat somebody about an hour before I got the book, just trailing up and running by the head. Beat the fuck up.
Speaker 3:I thought it was just because it was in Oregon. It's like ghost town. We bought a head. That's not hard, that's it.
Speaker 2:That's the thing it used to be where cultures were. It's a sprawling metropolis. At the time, we have black people and everything now multi culture. It's where they got Turkish barbers.
Speaker 3:I swear to God, turkish barber as far as I can see hot fallacies and all moving up the world, not that hot like oh fuck, but I fucking what happens with your gigs then from now on at Christmas?
Speaker 1:would you you just wanna have like do you just have a cut off point for Christmas, or does it work normally?
Speaker 2:I do normally, because I normally sort of do like bigger shows. I don't do big like a like a waterfront or something like that round end of October or November. So by the time the money's in I can take December off. But because I went to Australia and flew back, I'm like I'll have to work Christmas night. So I'm working right up to I think I'm 22nd, I'm gigging and then I'm gigging again on the 27th fuck, and then the 3rd of January. So I'm not taking a break this time. No rest for the weekend, I know, but it's one of them things too when like Because once I finish the tour End of October, start of November and you immediately go, I need to write a new show now. So I just have to go straight back out To fucking.
Speaker 1:Is this funny again like Do you have like travelling shows, like away shows.
Speaker 2:I've nothing this year Because I've spent and maybe look at doing Edinburgh for a couple of weeks Powerful, but in the meantime I'm just going to stay in Ireland for a fucking.
Speaker 1:Is there any gigs here, like big ones, like before?
Speaker 2:We've the SSE on the 27th, 27th Aye, so that'll be a good crack.
Speaker 1:And then 27th, I'm ready to pass for Disneyland. That's way better, I know.
Speaker 2:I'd definitely rather be nothing, it's your Christmas present by the way. So if Santa's, if you're a good boy, he'll watch it.
Speaker 1:He'll watch it when he's 18.
Speaker 3:I fucking knew it I wasn't coming down to Sturgeon. Why are you fucking tight?
Speaker 2:you bring my child here fuck, I'm 23 you're going to see 40. No, I'm fucking not. I met her. We went to beat the fucker to two of us. He's nuts.
Speaker 1:He had a school play day and he just fucking does. He just ran for everybody. He's just a brat. He's just no interest, didn't sing one song, didn't he? Just sat with Hans Fuller and he just all the kids were singing their hearts out and taking her heart shit and saying stuff and he just didn't care I was like no, we're going, he was just going, he didn't care
Speaker 2:unreal.
Speaker 1:I was like, fuck, he's a malder. But the apple doesn't fall, far from the tree.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine you being like fucking.
Speaker 3:I brought frankenstein.
Speaker 2:I was in Bethlehem beating the fucker to three wise men oh, I'm fainting, I wasn't even chatting, mary, you're a her.
Speaker 3:These are pigs, they're.
Speaker 2:See, it hits that angel. Fuck me, what are you?
Speaker 3:wearing.
Speaker 2:My nephew. I think he's playing jokes. It was in the fucking In his. What is it Nativity?
Speaker 1:Oh, nativity, yeah, and he couldn't give a fuck either.
Speaker 2:He's actually stressed out about it. He's like I don't wanna. Why is it always me? He's looking at me like this is your fault. All this show business, shit, I know, I think it's in the bloodline. I just didn't want to get a job. I'm still winging it can't believe you get away with it do you stay, do you?
Speaker 1:stay and toast for Christmas.
Speaker 3:Ravioli.
Speaker 2:Pre-made stuffing. No, I think we'll. I think we'll actually Go to my sister's maybe this year, I don't know. There's a whole crowd of us, so we'll just Bounce about between. It's usually Christmas Eve. Usually me and my dad Go to the same pub in Lurgan. We only ever go to Christmas Eve because they give you free mulled wine, so the two of us turn up all like. You know, you don't ask for it.
Speaker 3:No, I'll know, I'll know, start looking at the manual it's freezing in here.
Speaker 2:I'd love some warm wine. Do you do warm wine? It's always this thing every year is up at fucking half four. Don't be getting pished. We're not getting pished. We'll go for a couple of pints, but the two of us will just be hoofing them, and then I go back wrap the presents steaming, get one hug off my eye on Christmas Eve and go. Mum, I want to do the Christmas hug. Fucking. Squeeze that chin like sticky toothpaste. Padraig Peebles, I'll give me one too.
Speaker 3:Give me one too, bring it in. Forgive me, it's Christmas, give me, bring it in.
Speaker 2:I'm going to sleep, mum. And then we usually I think it was my niece, my nephew's five, my niece's two, so we'd go round to their house first thing in the morning and they're not even.
Speaker 1:We're all excited like fucking there, we both there, we bought there. We bought them for Santa two kids were like fine Dan aww, did you ever open any prams when you were a kid and like I remember one time finding it was fucking rubber sword the man said it was for mixing gravy.
Speaker 2:Didn't taste like gravy, it tasted like fish. No, it was one fish. No, it was one of your rainbow trout.
Speaker 2:It's not a code name coming around, it's a steak that's rainbow that was a steak name of my rainbow trout saying that was my mum then, but there was a year where fucking it was Captain Planet was a big thing, and I found this remember Captain Planet's fucking spaceship. It was like a yellow fucking thing. You put all the wee action figures in and I found it, and I was like that's from me for Christmas, and my mum was like it's not, I'm minding that for somebody from work, so their wee boy doesn't find it, and I was like, 100%, it's fucking Christmas day. I was all excited to get it, though, and my ma basically took it back so I still believe in Santa, so I didn't get the present that's fucking weird.
Speaker 2:Christmas morning crying behind me. Where is it? I think I found an, did you?
Speaker 3:ever get an eye on him for Christmas Just didn't hit me. That day I got a laugh of it.
Speaker 1:She loaned an Xbox.
Speaker 3:Had to bring it back.
Speaker 2:I was just a controller Reactivating. I had to imagine it.
Speaker 3:Two days. She loaned him For 48 hours Reactivating, called out the very fact. 375, I know.
Speaker 2:I never, because my ones are real good At fucking hiding the presents Like that's in Balmur. I know I never, because my ones are real good at fucking hiding the presents like that's in Balmur. I think I can hide it also but did you? Ever fucking. Is there a bit?
Speaker 1:20s we had phones. There's five of us like we all lived like all my messes and all living to our flaws, so they were like everyone would have stashed stuff for you know, what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like my mother had all girl stuff for, like my aunt who has all girls, she has all boys. So they were like we knew they weren't for us because it was all girl stuff. And then my aunt would have took all the boy stuff and then Christmas Eve did them round and all that stuff. But I think when I was a wee- bit older myself put the wrapping back on, put it back in. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And then how did Santa know?
Speaker 2:how did? Santa know, I have five numbers how did Santa get a picture of my dick?
Speaker 3:that's not your dick, that's your dad's dick. Let me see. That's not your dick. That's your dad's dick. That's his belly. Let me see you. That's a dirty picture. That's a dirty picture. Shmena, did you open his phone, man? That's a dirty picture. I'm back in there.
Speaker 1:Fuck me Cops at the house.
Speaker 3:What's? Your dad got the rest of the forms in there. Eh no, he? He thought he was funny. He played a prank on me. What?
Speaker 2:are you in for? I don't want to talk about it oh, your business Jesus Christ. My son's phone got hacked, first camera phone that was the first thing I did, the first time I got a camera phone straight away screensaver.
Speaker 3:Why have you got a rock?
Speaker 2:and that was your screensaver somebody hit the PSU off your sausage roll.
Speaker 3:You're not eating half brown sauce.
Speaker 2:Why have you mustard?
Speaker 3:on this. She wasn't supposed to be eating a Chinese apple. She'd eaten a Chinese and ate before, is that?
Speaker 1:where Is that?
Speaker 3:where her pee's in it.
Speaker 2:Patrick Peele's still in the back. What am?
Speaker 3:I gonna do? What am I?
Speaker 2:gonna do with this deal. There's peas in it. Patrick, are you still in the back? What am I going?
Speaker 3:to do? What am I going to do with this deal? Fuck. He's 26 now. Oh, holy fucking fuck. Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Fuck, oh fucking hell, oh, fucking hell, oh, fucking hell. This is the best day of my life, so happy Christmas.
Speaker 3:Happy Christmas. I think we'll wrap it up. Don't be big, oh fuck. Oh my god, enjoy your stuffing. Don't be picking, oh fuck me.
Speaker 2:Oh, I can enjoy your stuffing.
Speaker 3:Oh, fuck me, it's a wrap, it has to be a wrap Aye, fuck it.
Speaker 2:There's no coming back man. It was nice having a career on that Screw my last one.
Speaker 3:Every month you go. Oh, subscribers are going to start fucking falling out.
Speaker 2:They're dirty bastards this will be on. Oh my god, thanks for having me. Anyway, thanks for coming on. It was a pleasure, real pleasure this is oh, fuck me brilliant.