The Public Nuisance Podcast #054 The First Hour with Aidan Malone

Welcome to a new episode of The Public Nuisance Podcast with me, Sean McComb.

This week we welcome Aidan Malone to the podcast.

We cover ADHD stigma, fast minds and slow systems, pills versus practice, breathwork with intent, cold-water dopamine, morning routines that actually work, lone-wolf myths, blindfold team exercises, ice baths and sauna resets, Divis Mountain Men, men’s mental health meetups, weekend drinking habits, choosing which wolf to feed and much more.

New episodes every Tuesday.

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Sean McComb

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Killen Studios

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Website: https://killenstudios.com/

That Prize Guy

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Website: https://thatprizeguy.co.uk/

Chapters

• 0:07 Welcome And Positivity Mission
• 1:23 The White Wolf Parable
• 3:36 You Are Not Your Thoughts
• 5:21 ADHD Stigma And Agency
• 6:46 Medicine, Dopamine, And Cold Water
• 9:01 Prescriptions, Dependence, And Withdrawal
• 12:07 Tools: Meditation, Breathwork, Gratitude
• 16:22 Workshops, Mindfulness, And Guided Journeys
• 20:25 Visualisation, Performance, And Self-Knowledge
• 24:58 Breaking Weekend Drinking Rituals
• 28:04 Morning Routines And Phone Traps
• 31:20 Reset With Cold Water And Pause
• 34:16 Perspective, Gratitude, And This Too Shall Pass
• 39:16 Balance Between Planning And Presence
• 41:00 Community Events And Breathwork Days
• 43:23 International Men’s Day And Support Networks
• 46:16 Men’s Groups, Check-Ins, And Real Help
• 47:35 Closing Appreciation And Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:07

Welcome to this episode of the Public Nations Podcast brought to you from Killing Studios, right here, where you can get all your content done. Photo shoots, video content, podcast studio, you name it, it's all here. Let's not forget that praise guy. Helping thousands of people all over the world become millionaires, winning great praises and supporting local charities. What more do you want? Hi every mate, thanks for coming in.

SPEAKER_02: 0:44

Good male cheers for helping me.

SPEAKER_01: 0:46

Yeah, listen, it's good. Um obviously we didn't get speaking much, it was just like uh it just happens like that when we were talking. Sort of you asked me to share something for you on social media and then just we got talking and then I uh I sort of got a bit of an understanding of of your background and what you're trying to do, and it's you know what I'm very open to always pushing positivity and it seems like you you you're you're doing well and pushing that, you know, helping a lot of people. Um just tell me a wee bit about why, like what?

SPEAKER_02: 1:23

Well, growing up I didn't really experience a lot of positivity. Got diagnosed with ADHD state at a very young age, you were expelled from schools, you were stigmatized, and you heard a lot of negative things, and you started to believe those negative things and you started embodying them. But in saying that, I always was positive, I was outgoing, I had my laughs, I had my good times, but life's been a real roller coaster for me, there's been a lot of ups and a lot of downs, and that's where white wolf wellness comes from. Yeah, because it's the story of two wolves, the white wolf and the black wolf, and it's actually an old Cherokee tale. The Cherokee Indians in America tell the story of the white wolf and the black wolf, and I've taken that for the business. And what the story is was there was a man in the village, he was a brilliant hunter, he was a brilliant carver, he would go out, he'd bring back happiness, but he'd go out all the time and he'd bring back madness. He'd get a skin full of the white man's whiskey into him and he'd destroy the village. People get sick of him on people like that. So he went to his grandfather and said, What is with me? I can't live like this anymore. And he said, Son, inside you, there's two wolves. There's a white wolf and a black wolf. The one that you feed is the one that'll win. And I'm the same. There's good wheels, bother me. Same for yourself. But when you feed that white wolf, the black wolf, when he comes up with great ideas, the white wolf from Punch Hall and put him back in his box. So as from telling people, you don't have to be perfect, but you can do better. And to do better, you have to be better and you have to think better.

SPEAKER_01: 2:46

It's your surroundings too, isn't it? Like, and obviously, yeah, it's good. It's it's it's it's a good way of looking at it, because obviously everybody has that bias in them, but it's not uh like the majority of the time it doesn't come from your your own wholesome self. Do you know what I mean? Like it it probably comes from alcohol or drugs or some other, you know, whatever it may be. Um it's it's just understanding your true self, isn't it? Like it's probably like once you start to understand that there is that two sides near enough of every person, um you can it doesn't everybody's different, I suppose, but I mean there's always that bit of some something that's wrong with like that's not a hundred percent right with people and uh it's obviously you want to have into the good side of it more more often, you know.

SPEAKER_02: 3:36

100% and one of the I've studied a lot of spirituality and various things over the years, and one of the things that really stands out to me now is the Buddhist talk about you're not your thoughts, you're not your mind. I'm certainly not like you've 80,000 thoughts a day, on average 70,000 of those are negative. You're not your mind, like your mind is a collection of experiences, but when you're identifying with the mind, that's when you're identifying with the black wolf, and they tell you, like, just sit back, be an observer, yeah, don't get emotionally attached to it. And in doing that, I'm able to say, like, right, that's not really a great idea, that's not what I should be doing. I can take a step back from it, and when I am getting stressed or overwhelmed or whatever, I can top into a bit of breath work, a bit of meditation, and I can let the white wolf come back in. Yeah. Seal off.

SPEAKER_01: 4:19

Sail off, man. True. So like there they like it hasty, obviously you're saying there's like a like a bit of a stigma around it and all, like stigmatized growing up and how did you deal with that? Like was it just like did you just feel like 'cause the way I look at it is like if people were to say I I don't know, people I feel like people say I've very hasty too often now. Do you know what I mean? Like oh I'm real, really hasty. And I know it's only a sign for some people, but they're like on and I'm going, but you wouldn't want to be. No, if you really were you like you wouldn't want to be because it's like I feel like people use it as an excuse to do what they want. Do you know what I mean? Yeah um I think like you would rather not have it to be do you know what I mean? It's hard to explain, it's hard to come across what I'm trying to say, but basically what I'm trying to say is if you if you have AD Hasty, you don't want to be misbehaving and have an excuse for it, or being excused for it, just so it means like oh I can just do what I want.

SPEAKER_02: 5:24

And I think that's that's your side of it too, because I didn't have a part when I was younger at times. A lot of time I was acting out because I've got AD Hasty, this is what I do, and you were the class clown, you were getting the attention, and that was definitely a side to it. But the other side to it as well is for me actually having a diagnosis, my brain works so much quicker than a normal person's.

SPEAKER_01: 5:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 5:42

Like I remember going to university and I it was a presentation, a project at the class of two two months to do, and I left it to the last minute, and I stayed awake for about about a day and a half, and I got one mark off of first, and I believe that's because me and the lecture didn't go on too well. He couldn't get to get around me, you know. I don't think he could have buried to give me a first. Yeah, but a normal neurological main couldn't have done that, but my main works so quickly, you know. If you do have ADHD, a thing to remember is it can't be used as a superpower. Like I was telling you this morning, I was down in uh the Dummer Dippers. There's a reason behind that. Like cold water therapy releases more dopamine than pure cocaine, it releases more than ADHD medicine. So I am switched on now to have this conversation. Had I not done that, I'd have been dragging my heels or I've been fucking looking around the room, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 6:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 6:29

So it's knowing how to deal with it properly. I think uh one of the big things and issues that we have, especially like me as a child, it was look, you're taking your tablets and you're not going to school.

SPEAKER_01: 6:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 6:37

And then that attitude follows follows you for the rest of your life, and it doesn't work. So there's ways of using it. We're not all the same. We're definitely not with things that we're good at and things that we're bad at, and we should work on what we're good with, but obviously we have to fit in the general society. So if you've got ADHD, likes a cold water for a wee breath, work, exercise, use him as your medicine.

SPEAKER_01: 6:58

Yeah, you know? Yeah, because I had a friend I grew up with, I had a mate. He was just giving riddling every day. Every day wasn't allowed to house until he hit Riddling, like he was in his 20s. And his man was like, you may take in Riddlin, get the hurry up, man. You know, in this morning he was running the really good lunatic, and I think he can't tell Riddling yet. And he wasn't allowed to house until he got him like he when he was in his 20s, like early 20s. And it's like it's just him. I was going surely there's a way around it.

SPEAKER_02: 7:24

Natural, more natural, we can just go and like exercise and I think it rhythm is just one of the most interesting drugs on the planet. So if you were to get stopped in the street and have a rythlin in your pocket, you're gonna get done for a possession of a class B drug. Its chemical name is called methylfinitate. Two key letters are M-E-T-H.

SPEAKER_03: 7:41

Yeah, math.

SPEAKER_02: 7:42

I I knew people on parties who were sitting sniffing it, they preferred it over the cook they were getting Belfast. It's mad. You know, and this is what they're throwing down kids' necks. Like that's it should be a real last option. And the the funny thing about Ritlin is like if someone without ADHD was to take it, they're gonna be buzzing off their chops. Yeah. If someone with ADHD takes it were razor focus, it calms us down because our mind's going that quick, it sort of knocks it off. You know?

SPEAKER_01: 8:07

It's crazy, and then it's like it's so I think it's so controversial, like the world of medicine is like uh or like you know, chemistry. It's gonna be like I don't know, I just think like it it's becoming more people are starting to get their eyes opened it more than ever, like I was telling you before, I don't even know before, and he was talking about co-cordomol as well, and he was saying like co-cordomol, there's whatever's whatever's in co-cortomol is in lace and hervin as well, and it has that same effect where you get addicted to it, and and he was telling me that fucking basically he was addicted to it. And it's the same with a lot of other drugs, you know. I had friends who like Tramadol, and and I had one mate who says coming off Tramadol was harder than coming off like it's supposed to be harder than coming off her, you know what I mean? So it's like fucking it's and these are drugs that are prescribed, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02: 9:00

I've used it personally recently. Um I was prescribed the Azepalm for 11 years or so when I was in uni and was finishing up work, I couldn't get it done. I literally said to the doctor, look, I can't take this stuff, it's giving me cold hands and feet, it's caused me anxiety, I'm stressed, I'm sweating. I said, Oh the ozzy palm will help you with that. So then they gave me uppers and downers together, rittling and diaze palm. And that did help, but then years down the lane, you know, I stopped the ritting because it didn't agree. But I still kept it the Azepalm. Because I thought that it was helping me, and then my daddy passed away, and I know it'll help you, we'll give you an extra one a week. So it got to later stages in my life that I just clicked on that, these things aren't helping me at all. All they're actually doing is stopping me from going into withdrawals, because I remember one time before I was in Portugal with a couple of mates. We're partying for days, as you do, you know, and uh I lost a run out of the Azop. And I had a panic attack that lasted 24 hours where I felt like I couldn't breathe. And I was walking around the island, 60,000 steps. I clacked up, I couldn't even stop to get a paint down me. Do you know what I mean? And I was on a holiday. That's that's the withdrawals, that's a part of these things had over me. So for years, like everywhere I went, I had to go right if I got enough then to do me. And then if you didn't, you were thinking, where am I gonna get more? Yeah, and this is coming from a doctor, and this is the part of stuff had over me. So, like seven months, I'm seven or eight months completely away from them, and I just say like that's enough. I don't want to have to lent my life to anything. Yeah, you know, because I was thinking when I was going on holiday, where where are these? Have I got enough to do me? And I thought I can't live like this anymore. So the detox process of that was just insane, you know. I told you what had happened one time before, but I learned ways to manage it. I used supplements, I used breath work meditation, I prayed, I at well, and I trained.

SPEAKER_01: 10:47

And some days my dad sit in med in uh meditation for three hours at a thing, you know, like that's but from someone to Especially with someone with ADHD, you can't sit still and you're able to you're you've literally learnt yourself to meditate for three hours. Like for you to sit still for three hours is a big thing to be able to do that within yourself when you're when you're you know you've been diagnosed by ADHD. It's the power, but it's the it's the power you have within yourself. Yeah. No, I mean it's something you probably were never taught no one's ever told you the amount of power you have as a kid or 80 HD. You're just oh he's not sitting, he's not as a kid growing up. Then you find yourself and you see what you're actually capable of even with ADHD. Do you know what I mean? That's that's enough to go. Like, 80 HD can't be controlled.

SPEAKER_02: 11:31

Oh of course it can't be.

SPEAKER_01: 11:33

Without all that shit.

SPEAKER_02: 11:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:34

Without all that balls, I don't care, there's no excuse. There's no excuse for misbehaving. There's no excuse like alright, there's way you just have to I I'm no fucking expert on it, far from it. But I I'm I'm a firm believer and just it's like that's not an excuse. You know right from wrong. I don't give a fuck whether or whether you're hasty or not. You know right from wrong.

SPEAKER_02: 11:59

Sometimes we've got to lack on impulse and you'll feel remorse and you apologize later. But if people aren't remorseful for doing something wrong, then they're not remorseful. So that they meant to do it. You know, like I've done I've done things, especially you know, like when I've been younger and a bit lost, and I've regretted them after. Yeah. But I've always been quick to apologise.

SPEAKER_01: 12:18

But it's like you've done all the it's not like it's new, you've just done that fuck, you've realized and then some people caught like the mental the mental blank spot.

SPEAKER_02: 12:29

Some people can talk like you know, I'm not gonna drink a day, and then the next thing I'm in the bar fucking out for days. Yeah. And that and they say, like, you know, that didn't happen, I didn't mean for it to happen. That's people with a fast mind. ADHD is a bit the same. Like, now luckily it's not an issue for me anymore. Yeah, it's not an issue for me anymore because I've taken control of my nervous system, I've taken control of my life, but that can't be a lot of suffering and a lot of learning to get there, you know. But I wish that people could just be given the correct tools rather than put down, medicated, and punished. And I'm planning on actually developing a workshop and delivering it to teach people, to teach parents that this condition can't be managed, what it is and what it isn't, because there's so much inform misinformation about it, and the information that's actually helped me the most hasn't come from doctors, far from it. Yeah, and if anybody here is interested in improving their ADHD, look at a book called Faster Than Normal by Peter Schenckman. It's not a very long book, but it's very, very informative, and you'll get cracking techniques in there and how to manage it.

SPEAKER_01: 13:24

Yeah, that's brilliant, then that's good, good, you know, like because it's fucking it's very commonly so commonly and I think as well, people are like even schools are quick to just fucking, you know, they're just quick to label kids with it. Or I don't think schools necessarily have the power to do that, but they'll they'll, you know, at a certain age, maybe I think at six or seven, they send you off to get assessed, and then it and then they just go, I has it. I go, fuck me, everyone has it.

SPEAKER_02: 13:52

I always have a laugh about it, you know. We hear people identify as a tree, I identify as a man or woman, whatever these days. If I was a kid I'd have identified as a textbook because they'd let me in the closet, I used in the story in the books. You know what I mean? That was my kind of experience over early years in school.

SPEAKER_01: 14:07

Fuck sick, I was fucking I remember we see in our school we have the see if you think you remember black shoes on. You used to have to sit outside the principal's office every single day, just sit there for a full day, and it's see where the principal's office is in our school. It's in the arch hole nowhere. It's the we used to call it like it's called the the Shan Shack, that's in Irish where I went to Irish school. It's the old house, it's like and it's a wide upper back of school, no one goes near it, so you're just sitting there bored of fuck all day. And I used to say to myself, I don't think you're not wearing fucking normal trainers tomorrow. I'll wear black shoes, and then next day I'd do the sexy thing again. Just repeat that. But I always used to say to myself, I was that boring. I was like, you didn't know what to do yourself, and he should just make you sit there all day until you sure you find a way to pause the game and leave it a big portaf and uh Paul Paul shoes rock porters and the burn and I fucking call it another black black call the phone black phone has all fair with a black pummel. Man, obviously you you you do the the the wee ceremonies and stuff. You've done one last Sunday, is that right?

SPEAKER_02: 15:46

Yes, we've Sunday, so we'll have fifty people on the Palm Moral. Um my friend Paul was telling you about him. He's a movement man. Like he's 56 and he can stand his two hands, his feet in the air and fucking walk. Yeah, crazy. This fella loves Carl's Fennox and he loves helping people, he's a really good guy. So I had him down, he was teaching people the sort of movement stuff, he was teaching me. We're developing a programme off that called Freedom Movement. Freedom Movement, it can be done anywhere. We're hoping on grass to take it up to prison. Yeah. Take the people who can't access equipment because you can get super strong without even using equipment. Yeah. If you have it, that's a bonus. So Paul came and taught a wee bit of his philosophy. I've done a workshop and people love this. So I went round all the tables and I said, look, I need one leader on each table. Plainfolded them. And on the table there was marshmallows and cocktail sticks. And I said, right, I want a leader with no help, just to make whatever you can with the marshmallows and the cocktail sticks, and they all made different things. And I went, right, alright, take them apart. I got pictures of them on. And then I said, right, we're gonna do it differently now. And I held up, I already had a snowman made. And I said, I want the group to help them make what I've got here, and they're blindfolded and we're going like put this here and put that there, and then at the end of the time was up, everybody held up the same thing. And I just said the group was like, Well, what was different the first time? We all made something, but we made a balls. We tried to do it our way, we try to do it without help. You need to ask for help to get better. I had to ask for help to get better. I had to reach out to so many different people and just to humble myself. I thought I could do it all by myself, and it just burnt me out and got me into more situations I didn't want to be in, and ways of thinking I didn't want to be in. So that exercise just highlighted that the people and we got a good laugh with it, give out some praises and then uh how do we talk and then moved on to the breath work journey? So when I do breath work, it's very different. I like the guide. I walk into breath work classes sometimes, people going, you may want to do this and you may want to do that, and you're left to sit and think for five minutes. I'm not here because I may want to do something if people I I guide people, I give positive affirmations, and I create energy. People come out feeling inspired because when you're getting into such a deep and meaningful breath work journey, your brainwaves are starting to change, and I'm giving you positivity and I do a meditation at the end that I script that helps you leap behind limiting beliefs. And before all that, we do mindfulness. Because mindfulness is a buzzword these days. People think mainfulness, what's happening? Wishy is it washy, what is it? But what it actually is, it's just diverting your attention away from the thoughts in your head in the present moment. Because when I explain it to kids, I say what happens if you leave the Xbox on all day, it overheats and it starts getting slow and it messes up. Say the adults, what happens to your car entrance left on all day? Like a car's a great machine, it can take you many places, but if it's not serviced and maintained, it overheats and starts to fall apart. Our mind's exactly the same. We can't turn off the main completely unless we're dead, and we don't fancy our justice yet. So we practice the mindfulness, you know, we'll look outside of ourselves, we'll focus on things. Mindfulness is uh the practice of observing, not creating. So you observe your thoughts, you observe feelings, you come back to your senses. So I do that before the breath work because it grounds people and it gets them ready for what's to come next. And I kind of read the energy in the room and see how far I can go with the experience, and I just tailor it, and I'm yet to get it wrong. So if anybody's ever interested in trying breath work, but me, calling it breath work, selling it short, it really is it's a complete experience. So it was a great, great day. No, I'm not sure. That works out pretty well better. I was delighted to hear that.

SPEAKER_01: 19:25

No, that's full. That's a great compliment, like isn't it? Like in considering you you you don't charge a fraction of what he sergeant, you know what I mean? Um But no, uh like we got a guy in the RGM, he didn't he done we asked him to do a breath like a breath work a breath work workshop for us as well in our gym. But we asked him not to do it too deep just just to give people this calm and it was good. A lot of people enjoyed it and they've asked to do it back, so mate, I'll probably end up giving you a share as well. We're we're we're uh moving facilities and stuff, so somewhere sometime the new year we'll get something sorted out.

SPEAKER_02: 20:05

City centre. But let me massive.

SPEAKER_01: 20:08

Ah, it's a big, big uh facility, but um once we do all that, get it all sorted, we'll probably get something in in place because there is something that I was told you before before this podcast, it's something that just saying I've seen people do it before and I've seen that it's like it's I don't know, it's like a release or something. I don't really know what what it offers, but it just feels like I don't know, it's just something I could do something that would really help you because manifestation's a real hot word these days, right?

SPEAKER_02: 20:35

I had a guy come to me, he lost his missus, lost his kids all sorts over uh trading. He was a professional trader and he knew a lot about it. But he kept tripping up, he lost it all, and he wanted to get a bag. And there's a guy I've been looking into called Neville Goddard, and Neville Goddard is a manifestation sort of guy. He says if you imagine what you want completely and you think about it and you dream about it and you feel it, eventually it'll come to you. And in his book he gives so many examples of that. So I say this guy, right? Okay, well you've tried all the figure way to the problem. I'll try my way. So I brought him up to the studio. I got him to visualize what he was wearing, what it felt like to make a hundred grand, right? And uh I done breath work and I put him on a journey. And then I've done a wee bit of a meditation around it and got him to feel the feelings, and it was mad as fuck. Because I asked him to describe, see that like to make sure that we were both on the same wavelength. I asked him to describe where he was, and I sort of knew this guy, like, and we both said shows bridge at the same time. What the fuck? And then a week or two later he said to me, Here, yeah, that happened here.

SPEAKER_01: 21:42

No way.

SPEAKER_02: 21:43

And he was trying for years, did I get it?

SPEAKER_01: 21:45

Ten percent. We're for fun. We're for fun.

SPEAKER_02: 22:08

I'm sure you'd hear me like before you go on the fate or vegillage motor too.

SPEAKER_01: 22:12

I vigilage for months and months. Like my as soon as my fate is not veg I've I but like I don't think it's on purpose. I visualize every night I go to bed by accident, but it's just how I get myself to sleep. I just think about what I'm gonna do on my feet over against the style that I'm fighting, what he does and what I'm gonna do, if he does this, I'm gonna do that, if he does this thing on the if he does this thing on the whole, if he faints I'm gonna you know, I just I do this over and over and over in my head every night. And I think if he makes this movement, I do this movement. He moved his feet this way, I made my feet that way. Just all the we small details of boxing, but I don't do that to visualize. I don't go in the bang or anything on the visual night. I just do that because that helps me just go to sleep.

SPEAKER_02: 23:01

I do that every night.

SPEAKER_01: 23:03

Every night that's how I see like my me and my missus we be down there, but like and then we'll be talking and I just see she she as soon as I turn like as soon as I turn over, she just goes through that you were a bit then. Because she knows I just I just go in the movie when we were then I just turn over and that's me just going like she puts a hair card on there? Yeah, but you just die I I she knows like once I not no one knows what I'm thinking, but I I know in my own head that's what I that's how I get to sleep every night. That's where I take my mind to. And it was well because like for a year over a year, uh over a year I I can't get a fit. You know what I mean? And it was frustrating, it was like hard as fuck. I was like I was drinking loads, not drinking, I was drinking in the weekends, probably drinking near enough every weekend for a year or like and like Monday to Friday I wouldn't touch a drink because I'm in the gym and I'm working on fucking, but Friday came or Saturday came, I was here for dinner. Something to eat, Sunday, something to eat, a few pints, home then up Monday working again. But for a full year I was drinking Saturday Sundays and I was like, I need a fucking fight, this is down my head, and then I couldn't get a fight. We're still training Monday to Friday and then drinking the weekend, and I just I was like fucking and I just f and I only got a fight there in June for the first time 14 months and that came back to me just naturally to start visualizing it was like and that's when I realised I done it because of a full year without it I didn't know that I was going to sleep without thinking about boxing then when I got that fighting once I was like like what am I going to bed and it no it just it just came on I was like fuck boxing boxing and that's what that's when I that's when I first realized that that's what I think about when I have a fight and then I've I had another fight there fighting for European title and it was just that same thing and now I've got another fight in Asamber and I'm just thinking this and then I'm going to bed the same thing about it and know where my thoughts are going as soon as I close my eyes and what I'm doing and it's it's smart and a lot of times it's it's fuck it's all it's it's because do you know why it's so easy for me to visualise because I get to watch my opponent when you have an opponent who you're fighting, you know they're style, you know what they do well. So when I just visualise it, what they're gonna do and what I can do to beat that, and it works.

SPEAKER_02: 25:20

Um bring it back in my health too. It's almost like you're your opponent, it's know yourself, know your own weaknesses and how you're gonna get around them. You know, when a temptation go out and a rip comes up, how am I gonna get around that? Who am I gonna talk to? What am I gonna do? You know, you can br you can bring it in the heading, no, know yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 25:35

That's it. I think that's see like you should I think like you're saying, you just need to be aware of what you need to do. Some people aren't even aware that they need to take themselves away from a certain circle of friends, or they need like they just need to take themselves away from something we bit by bit until they find out what what really works for them. You know what I mean? It's like let's say I I wanna go like I was like used to drinking. So bec I see like I was saying Saturday, Sunday became in that was my ritual. Work all week, train all week, help people in the gym, coaching, Saturday, mum go for dinner. We didn't cook in the house on Saturday and Sunday, simple. Yeah, but then that was me going to get a drink, that was me going for a pint, yeah. Get my dinner a few pants, and then next thing you get in the chairman, and then you wait on Saturday night, then you get up on Sunday morning, fucked.

SPEAKER_03: 26:24

Should I sum right now?

SPEAKER_01: 26:25

You're hung over mum would break a Sunday dinner up in the beach lawns or something, and one of the beach lawns at two o'clock, a few pants for your dinner, bring her to her take her a dog, and that went on for a full year, and then every week I was just what so if it was ever a week where we had we weren't doing that, I was like, what about like I didn't know what to do myself. All I wanted to do was drink.

SPEAKER_02: 26:48

Doesn't even cross my mind cross your mind.

SPEAKER_01: 26:50

It doesn't even cross my mind. It's mad.

SPEAKER_02: 26:52

I had to make a similar decision myself because I just noticed that the people who I admired were sober. And I was wanting uh I work in a charity, so I work with people coming in and out of prison, people under death threat, things like that, and mentoring them and looking after them, I work with refugees and stuff as well. So the people who really need your help, and then wrong mate with wellness, and I'm trying to look after our house, my family, all the all them things. But I had to realize it was going if you want to go drinking on the weekend, you may kiss all our stuff away, you maybe just about be able to work a nine to five job, and it was making that decision. So I haven't touched a drink in nine and a half months.

SPEAKER_01: 27:28

Brilliant.

SPEAKER_02: 27:28

I don't want to drink again to be honest with you, because I've I've done amazing things since I've started.

SPEAKER_01: 27:33

That's that's the thing, it's uh it's just what comes with it. See what comes with people like people drinking so normal, right? So fucking normal that everyone there's so much pubs, so much bars in Belfast, and it's a thing to do when you go into town. Go to like what do you do when you go into town? You know what I mean? Go to a bar, everyone goes to a bar, go out and watch a match bar, if drink, drink. It's it's so normal, right? See until you stop drinking, then see the amount of shit you get done. That's when you go, what's uh listen, I'm a fucking prime example because I don't drink for fucking weeks and weeks and weeks on end, gonna have a fate, and then when I do have don't have a after fate, I'll go out and have a few beer and I'll go out and drink, and then there's times we can fall back into that wee rut. Now the last fucking load of months I haven't because I've been busy. I've literally had fate after fate after fate, and it's been burning for me where it's got this stage where I'm like, fuck, I would love to just like stop drinking. What's the point even what's the point? Because I'm getting so much done while I'm in camp. Even though I'm living I'm in Amsterdam stand, I'm still getting so much more done from there back home than what I am back home when I'm drinking on the weekends, because then it's TC Monday that you're I don't I I say this all the time, I don't even want to do the dishes in the house when I have a drink on a Saturday. I sit there on a Tuesday and I go, I can't even be fucked doing them dashes, and know what I mean, and you have to go up and it's like oh fucking see now, man, cleaning, cutting grass and everything, fucking painting walls, pulling decorations down, you're just so much more productive, it's insane.

SPEAKER_02: 29:07

And I think a lot of it comes down to what you're saying. Them thoughts before you go to sleep, and when you wake up first thing in the morning are the most important thing. Now, if you were going to bed thinking about fucking drinking, you guarantee you're gonna be up and up in the morning. So I mean, without a shadow of a doubt, but you're going to bed in a frame of mind of winning. Yeah. You're visualising winning. I think that's the most so going to when you go to sleep, your brain's at its most suggestible state. You're in feta waves, so sometimes as well, if you don't have a practice like that, it's good to listen to something positive to get that into your head. But my biggest and most helpful thing that I've done in these last, not even the last nine and a half months, last year, I have not missed one day of doing this. So I get up in the morning, I'll pray, I'll meditate, and I'll write out five things that I don't do anymore, and I'm glad that I don't, and ten things that I'm grateful I have in my life all day. But I have to feel them. I have to feel the gratitude. I can't just look around and go, oh, it's a nice watching mirror, I'm grateful that. I have to genuinely feel it. And it's a good, it's a good gauge for me to know where I'm at that day. Because there's been days where it takes me half an hour to write 10 things. Yeah. And I've been feeling that crap, but that's where I was at. And I had to genuinely feel it. And I made sure it did. And then there's days I get up and stun two minutes, you know, and I genuinely do feel that. Yeah. But the important thing is to feel that gratitude and to start the day in that way. Because you've taken control. You know, there's a guy called Shang-He who I listen to, and he's sort of like as end master, and he says, you know, the first hour when you wake up is the most important. Because most people they take out their phone and scroll and they're getting programmed. You are being programmed in that first hour, that's when your brain is suggestible. So if you can take control in that first hour, you can read, you can meditate, gratitude list, breath work, anything positive, visualization, training. If you do that in the first hour, you're set well for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_01: 30:50

Yeah. You know? I know 100%. I'm a victim of lifting the phone to be fair. Like it's because my normal is off, and I'll pull my phone off and then there's about fucking hundred notifications, and it's a lot of times it's a gem or here, like, you know, it's it's stuff to do with with my business and stuff, but I try not to. I try like there's times when I'm conscious and I'll go right and hang on a lift, I'll live my phone turn my hang off, and I'll start thinking about what what what I'm gonna do today. Like what's my day look like? Get up, get up, does get the chase, work go to work, bring it, and all there's stuff. When I'm conscious of it, yeah, I like doing it because it like sets you out at this instead of getting up, looking at your phone, looking at all fucking Instagram shit and all the next thing you just want to do. You're winging the day, you think, whatever am I doing here today? Have a head like a sieve as it is, you know what I mean? But if you lie and just think like what your day is gonna look like from the second I get up here, reading on get the chair score, get him ready for school, get him his breakfast, go out, get in the school, go in the gym, train myself. If I start to put that in that order, then I'll not really fuck up that day.

SPEAKER_00: 31:55

Yep.

SPEAKER_01: 31:55

Where if I get up and just look at my phone and go, right, Ray, Carver, come on he ends up late for school, and I'm sitting on my phone for 20 minutes. Do you know what I mean? He'd end up fucking rear racing breath for come on, come on.

SPEAKER_02: 32:04

100%. And life happened sometimes, you know what I mean, where your routine does get knocked off. And it's in days like that where I use a cold water. Like I said before I go down here, I jump in the river and dumb right tippers because it was things happening and I was being pulled from pillar to post. So I just said, right, what's gonna make you show up better today? Yeah. Get into that river for a while, ten minutes, just chatting with people and meditating in the water, and it just brought me straight back around. So that's definitely my number one tip for anybody. If you are feeling scattered in a day, just go and get in that cold water sometime. If you're feeling like the day's gonna be a bit chaotic or you're getting temptations or something, give your system a nice shock.

SPEAKER_01: 32:37

Yeah, it's very it's very easy to do, but when you're in that frame of mind, you think you haven't got the time to do it.

SPEAKER_02: 32:46

Oh, you make time because you'll make time to fuck about all day if you don't.

SPEAKER_01: 32:53

Sometimes you just need to just go stop. Just fucking stop. You'll get whatever needs done, done. You know what I mean? It's like it's fuck we m me and like I do a lot in the day. My missus does a lot in the day and we're both like that for sometimes and I'm like sometimes I don't even remember myself, I have to remind her. I'm like, just relax, fuck, because she's working two jobs, she's got a chair, she's gonna gym, I'm working two jobs, training got the chair. And we're just like I just like right, just stop, stop, because I don't get stressed out over it, you know what I mean? Yeah, like women are just women, women worry about everything. And I was like, I sometimes have to remind her just just relax. Just relax. Don't be jumping in, just relax. But uh it's just the way it's it's a good way to be when you when you have a wee bit of I think worry is one of the one of the most important things, like because I feel me personally, just speaking from my own personal experience, I can stop and I don't worry that something might not get done.

SPEAKER_02: 33:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 33:55

Whereas my missus will be like, John, this needs done. I'm like, it'll get done.

SPEAKER_02: 33:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 34:00

Oh but it ain't needs done today, it doesn't need done nah. It'll get done. You know what I mean? And I think if you can I would love to be able to just teach her to just stop sometimes because she's a warrior, like a proper, proper warrior.

SPEAKER_02: 34:16

I don't know. Meditation helps you out because it's about sitting in the present moment. Anxiety can only exist if you're looking into the future. The present only exists in the past, in the present moment, everything is part of the moment. And sometimes when you are worrying about, like say you are worrying about this is getting done or whatever it was you were saying, it's not actually that you're worried about, you're worried about something else, and your nervous system's getting a bit out of the whack. So if you can actually just sit, meditate, do a wee bit of gratitude, and bring yourself back in the present moment, nothing annoys you. Like last week our um reversing camera in my car wasn't working, so I was in a wee bit of a rush. And I was over the BP and fucking black throat. I reversed in the uh I we bothered and cracked the crack the bumper of the car. Um in practices and all, I'm I will tell you a car. Yeah. And uh older versions of me would have been fucking a little personalised that these things always happen to me. I've got ADHD while I always do these things and start myself, but it's not like that anymore. Bad things happen people all the time. It's it's just an experience.

SPEAKER_01: 35:10

See stuff like that. I've never practiced anything like that, but sometimes I I like I do stuff like that. I see I do all this without ever being taught to do, so it's just it's probably just who I am. I I laugh and go, fuck. Like I was driving driving home from Dublin, my car went fair, and uh I stuck my M15, motorway, smoke everywhere. I was under because I got out and people were putting all and I think a few people flew by me and then most of them knew who it was, but I seen you on the motorway. Then the cops came, the guard came, picked me up, and he was like, he knew who it was as well. And he was laughing, he was sitting there, he was like, We're not as bad. He had to give me a lift up, they guys, my phone there. So my card was in fire, my phone was there, yeah. I was like, fuck me, and he had to bring me to uh the garage to get a charger to get my missus to drive down and pick me up, but I was just sitting in the garage on my phone and I was like, Fuck me, like but I was laughing, going, I'm actually grateful that I have a car to want for.

SPEAKER_02: 36:04

Exactly, my thoughts.

SPEAKER_01: 36:05

I'm in a good position to actually like at least I have this problem. I have a problem with a car when people don't even have a car. Yeah, people can't even people can't even have a meal and they have a car to went for and they're gonna get stressed out over it. I was sitting there for two hours waiting to this way. My like subconscious mind just goes there always, like at least I'm in a position to have a car, at least I have a at least I have a that's a good problem to have. Yes. And then a couple of weeks later, I got a new car, I got like a a fucking an audio at S3, and my brother's driving it, went on fire again on the finity road, smoking everywhere. He'd run in my he's like, Mike, your car went on fire. I fuck off. I thought he went me up, he was hooking a ball server. I walked around, car was on fire said fucking on the finity road, I went fuck shake. And I started laughing at me when I was saying to say car watting fire again, you know what I mean? And it was like my i i my mind is closer. I don't know why, but I just I'm just very appreciative of stuff and the business I'm in, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02: 37:05

And it brings you back to us as well. Have you heard that phrase before as to shop has? So where that actually comes from is uh it's a story. So there was a king, right, and it said that he experienced extreme highs and extreme lows, probably more like oppressive, what you would call nowadays. And uh when he was up there, he was shitting down on people, and he was down there and he was gonna get me now. So he said uh the people working with him, look, how can I fix this? What can I do? And they made him a ring and I said, That's who shall pass. So if you're in a situation that's challenging, that's who shall pass. Yeah. If you're in a difficult situation, if you're in a situation that's brilliant and you're up there, enjoy it while it's there, because that's who shall pass. Nothing in life's permanent, life's like water, it just flows. You know, people get attached to you know, this is who I am and this is what I own or whatever. Attachment is the root of all suffering, and they say that for a reason because you don't really own anything. Nothing's permanent, you know. Just so that's why you should just enjoy what you have while you have it.

SPEAKER_01: 38:07

That's why living in the minute living in the moment's like important because it's it's here now. Big thing. It may not be here next week. It wasn't here before, it's here right now. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02: 38:17

And how many times do people look into the future and have these plans and it never fucking happened? Or I know myself, even see most of the things that I'm worried about happening, or going fuck that's stressful, it never happens. Or very rarely happens, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:32

Like the early days of me, you know, with my wife, she would always say, like I would say just live in the woman. Yeah, but I I didn't really know what I meant by say that, but I just I probably did it without knowing it was doing it, but I was like, I just lived a woman. And she used to be like, Well how do you like how do you say it? Like, how can you live your life like that? And I was like, how can you live your life? Now she women are just women, I now I'm just I I obviously like we're more right now. I'm like now when she's saying this back then I understand now because she can't, she's just like she's a planner, she has this and everything, and women are like that when they get this sort of charming about this, and she's booking stuff for Christmas fucking in September. It's like oh look at these decorations, I'm like, fuck me, you're looking at I'm like, just fuck me, relax, and just hold it and interdust always future, always looking for Mr. And she like I she joked, she she was shooting me for it. Like, you need to have this in place if it wasn't for me, but I was like, I know, I understand that and I appreciate it, but don't be worrying about it too much, we'll get it, we'll get there in the end. It's like no, because it's always booked out or it's always gone, or this and that, there's no thing, if it wasn't for me, we'd never get that from done. And I like it probably goes hand in hand. I live in the present and I fucking am not stressed ever, very, very, very rarely stressed. She lives in the future and she's like planning for the future and just plan everything, and she's always stressed.

SPEAKER_02: 40:06

That brings another balance, too. And it's a balance between me and her.

SPEAKER_01: 40:10

I am a firm believer, and that's us being a balance. Or if we both lived in the present and we wanted to do something in the future, when the future came, it wouldn't be booked, or wouldn't it? She'd be like, and then that's when the stress. I told you you shouldn't fucking pick this letter be that her be the one who plans and does all the future thing, and then I just live chilling. But see if I receive the proof was on if the she was on the other foot, I'd be the same as her, like, why the fuck? Well, it wasn't for me, so I can understand. I can understand it's but if if if you're in that way and you didn't understand, you know, would always be a fucking fight, but it is what it is, that's just the way it is. And then so like you've if you hadn't you've got a breath workshop coming up. I mean it's a breath workshop coming up.

SPEAKER_02: 41:01

One of the I I do regular classes on just after this podcast, I'm gonna be taking a group down to Hot Rag Sona and Call East Gate. So we'll be doing a bit of swimming in the lake, ice bars, uh breath work and mindfulness, and we'll be setting intentions on the log of things you want to leave, and we're gonna let them on fire, and then we'll be in the sauna, there'll be body scrubs by the sauna master and uh you know essential loads and stuff, and people have great crack. I always get great feedback for these these things because the people that tend to come to my events are living in the present moment, they're there for the right reasons. No one's looking down on anybody, everybody's there to help and to have a laugh, so I'm really looking forward to it. And the other thing that's coming up that I mentioned to you before is the International Men's Day. It's gonna be a big thing, mate, because uh I'm gonna have people from different addiction groups and they're gonna be speaking and we're gonna take men over to the side, do a different section if they want to experience an addiction meeting to see what that's like like if they can't, you know. That's helped me so much. Uh they address my gambling before they address me. Um I wanna give that back to other people and we're gonna have like sports stars, people who've been through struggle, you know, just people talking about experiences, ensuring strength, and hope. And then at the end, there's gonna be teasing coffees and stuff. And it's just a great opportunity to get me into care. And you know, a big drive enforcement when I'm doing this. I done an international men's day event two years ago, uh smaller scale, raising money for a charity. And I was in a gym in a town called Regen, with a guy called Ran Lavery, and it was brilliant. Um again with workshops, taught men to sit through the ice bath and stuff, and we've done some breath work at the car. But there was two guys there, and you actually know one of them, Arn Smith, and a guy called Ran Floon, and they were talking about it and they loved it. And then they joined my social group for a while, and then my own head was just went down and hell, mate. It wasn't a great place after a while, and then they set up their own uh sort of we group to get people out doing Higgs and cold weather studies and stuff, and then uh they included me in it, and honestly, it helped me so much because my own head had just dropped, you know, it was coming to the end of a relationship, things were rocking my life. Uh just moved into a new house, the house was falling apart around me, it needed so much work and just got the job that I really wanted, but I had all this sort of stress on top, and uh boy said, Come on out for a dip, come on out for a swim, and we're doing different things like a and it was brilliant. So I feel like that happened because of the mainstay. Yeah, do you know what I mean? I got so much more of the money or anything off the back of doing that. So I thought, right, if that's what doing that in a small scale, brought yeah, let's bring it to a bigger picture, let's get more people in the sure stories, let's get more people like what is that gonna bring? And I really want that to bring so much. Like I've been emailing around charities and stuff to try and get men's groups involved. That's what I like to do when I do offense. Yeah, I done the White Wolf one there last week in the Balmoral, I gave some free passes to charities and different people and stuff because for me it's about giving.

SPEAKER_01: 43:56

Yeah, you know, you need to give and helping people changing people's days, like and what how do they get involved? And that then, if you say let's say you're in the how where do they get tickets running for our international means they or so I have it on my Instagram.

SPEAKER_02: 44:10

Uh there's a link to Eventbrite, and uh tickets are free of charge, but I only have the tickets are because I need to know like how many seats you've got any T coffees in my panel, that sort of stuff. So if you are wanting to go, I'd appreciate it if you go on the Eventbrite and register your interest.

SPEAKER_01: 44:25

Your Instagram is White Wolf Wellness.

SPEAKER_02: 44:28

I White Wolf underscore wellness on Instagram, and then the other one is called Divis Mountain Men. I know some of our mutual friends go to that. Yeah. Um it's it's brilliant, it's a similar sort of idea. Divis Mountain Men was set up to give men a space to connect with one another. Growth-minded men or men who needed support, like we've got men there who own businesses, we've got men there who own next to nothing, it doesn't matter. We all come together and we walk up to the top of the mountain, and where we're a bit different is we do a check-in. So I'd say, you know, hey meeting, this is where I am here, this is how my week's going, and then some boys are looking, the fuck's he all about? You know, but then it'll go it'll go around, and it's even better when you see the men who don't want to talk, start to talk. Um I've had people come along who say we're suicidal, then they've gotten better from the support of the group. You know, I remember that happened one night and uh I've mental health first. I'd literally just done my mental health first aid training and never raided any of them courses to be honest. But when the guy said it, I was able to approach it in a completely different way. Yeah, but it's given men from different backgrounds, different perspectives, different walks of life, it doesn't matter, it's okay for us a space to come together and to check in. And there's boys who've gotten jobs, there's boys who've achieved serious things, and the age group's so mixed as well. So, look, lads, if you're wanting to improve your life and you're looking a new space to go, it's free of charge. Divis Mountain man with meet every Tuesday at seven o'clock, and that's on Instagram as well, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 45:49

Yeah, no, because off the back of Aaron, Arn's put Aaron on a podcast here, and then our Lame, the me and Broad on a podcast here as well. And then I was like, fuck, too many people reached out to it to either Lame or Arn and even me saying fuck I'd really really helped me and I was like reach out to them and then and see what they're doing and then meet up with them and because they're the they're the like many people you need to be around to help get yourself into the position they're in and they'll tell you their experience. That's that's fucking networking on the same energy level that you want to be at, and where you're hoping to be at.

SPEAKER_02: 46:26

I always say you're only as sick as the friends you pick. And it's like this. If I want to learn a boxing, I'll come to you. Say if I wanted to learn uh lift weights, I'd go to a PT. But people are going to say people want to improve their lives, they want to stop drinking, they want to stop taking drugs, they want to learn breath work or whatever, or they want to improve in some sort of way, they're going and asking people you haven't a clue. I know. Like what used to always break my heart. Well, they're not asking at all.

SPEAKER_01: 46:47

They're just trying to figure it out like you say, trying to figure out yourself, like and you end up burnt out. You're like trying at yourself. Oh, I'll I'll just stop drinking myself, or and like you says that you have to ask for help, the right people for the right help. Or people go, I don't know where to go to the ask for that help. Do you know what I mean? People don't realise it's all around you, like everyone around you fucking so much people are suffering.

SPEAKER_02: 47:11

And see when you're in it as well, it's almost like a self-fulfilling privacy. You don't you nearly don't want to look for help because you just you want to feel that the world is as shade as you feel. Almost to validate how you're feeling, going, well, nah, there's no help out there, and then that just means you keep on doing the same fucking thing, you know. But there is help. There's help for everybody out there, it's just getting connected to it.

SPEAKER_01: 47:31

Yeah, 100%. Um well look, listen, we'll f we'll wrap it up here and appreciate it. It was good insight to what you do, and it's as I say, it's I love to see the positivity and love to see I I I love I I get more fucking joy from helping people than I get from receiving help myself. So it's it's good what you do, and I'm a big fan of it. So uh you'll probably see me in one of your breath work workshops.

SPEAKER_02: 47:55

More of my thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01: 47:57

Uh I appreciate you coming on that. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02: 47:59

Cheers.