The Public Nuisance Podcast
Host Sean McComb interviews various guests
The Public Nuisance Podcast
The Public Nuisance Podcast #069 “Just Keep Punching Micky” with Micky Bartlett
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Welcome to a new episode of The Public Nuisance Podcast with me, Sean McComb.
This week we welcome Micky Bartlett to the podcast.
We cover falling asleep mid-conversation and waking up to chaos, couch wars and relationship arguments, Belfast accents abroad and thick humour that doesn’t translate, running routes, coffee stops and chaotic routines, boxing classes and throwing up mid-session, gag reflex disasters and gym struggles, step counts that don’t make sense, dodgy “praise guy” schemes and internet madness, comedy festivals, Edinburgh chaos and losing money telling jokes, working awful jobs, scam call centres and civil service boredom, boxing camps, weight cuts and being completely bone dry, the reality of sparring and long-term damage in combat sports, why fighters train smarter not harder, ageing bodies and still feeling 25, coaching, purpose after fighting and giving back, comedian boxing events turning competitive, stress relief through training, getting humbled in group classes, Belfast culture, identity and how people carry themselves, hecklers, intimate gigs versus big crowds, stand-up nerves, drugs at festivals, how everything looks glamorous until you’re actually living it and much more.
New episodes every Tuesday.
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Sean McComb
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmccomb/
Killen Studios
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/killenstudio/
Website: https://killenstudios.com/
That Prize Guy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatprizeguy/
Website: https://thatprizeguy.co.uk/
The Wing Society
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewingsociety/
Welcome to the Putinish Podcast. We're here in Tell Studios where we can get all your content. Whatever you need, we've got it right here. I was in the house yesterday for like an hour. Or for like we we done a run here yesterday, like from here, done like we run on club. Come back here. Have coffee's not shit. And then I said we're going back to child today. Fucking four hours and night's here going nuts. Let's get me this house. I believe we're going to food.
SPEAKER_00I'm not the same. That's why I end up drinking and smoking weed all the time. I was just sitting with another adult. I'm like, I can't fucking stand. No, you're right.
SPEAKER_02You're actually alright.
SPEAKER_00Silent?
SPEAKER_02Didn't mean that.
SPEAKER_00Ding dog McDonald's here, go to the door.
SPEAKER_02She was back with a bag.
SPEAKER_00The last two days I fell asleep on the couch. She's been trying to wake me up, like going, aye aye, aye.
SPEAKER_02I can't sleep on the couch. One thing I can't taste with the couch now.
SPEAKER_00So we we got a new one. It's like a fucking, especially when you're when you smoke a fucking big load of weed, it's like sitting in a cloud. Oh, that's bad in the bed. No.
SPEAKER_02Where's my hand seven months?
SPEAKER_00But I snore too. If I'm drinking or fucking smoking, I'm a snore like fuck. So I ended up she wakes me up to tell me I'm snoring. And I'm like, now I'm awake as well.
SPEAKER_01I'm having a nightmare. I'm having a nightmare at the moment of snoring. Seriously? When I had my back, I always like turn over to get comfortable and hand on my back and see. My mess is escaped, tickling my own. As I'm sleeping. And last night I caught her on. Because I wasn't even snoring, because it was so weak.
SPEAKER_02I was awake. I was laying like this. She goes, Sean, started taking my arm up and I goes, Wow. I said, nobody took me for stays. I thought you were snoring. I was like, you're just fucking.
SPEAKER_00I know it's been bad where because she'll nudge me and I'll just stop. But if she hits me hard enough to wake me up, she's like, go into the fucking spare room. And I end up going, see you next time, you go into the fucking spare room.
SPEAKER_01We have a song with all time. Just have to wake up. I said, just while you're awake, you're already awake. Just go on in the car with you.
SPEAKER_02No. And then we've discovered he snores. He's wondering. He's already fine, yeah. Sworn. I was like, what the fuck is going on?
SPEAKER_00That's class. I'm getting the point when I'm starting to snore and I'm still awake.
SPEAKER_02It's funny, like you're five-year-old, like it's funny, the only five year old I've been seeing by a laughing at.
SPEAKER_00We fucking blew you sleep up there, I'll stop.
SPEAKER_03I'm only joking.
unknownI'm only joking.
SPEAKER_02Oh fuck. How's life in our ear?
SPEAKER_00You still get your arch broken. No, no, you know, because I'm starting fucking back boxing again, so I'm getting up at five in the morning. Like you, I mean, get up at five, fucking did it off. And then I'm fucked, like, but I can do that three days a week, and the rest of the time I'm just keeping on the couch.
SPEAKER_01Fucking they get like tired and haven't trained. I've actually done a lot of mails this week, man. And I was just fucked, and that really used to wrong like fucking the black boxing. Seriously, I'm usually hard to run for every side.
SPEAKER_00Oh, because the train view that someone didn't train view and you're fucking threw up in my hole.
SPEAKER_02Remember you got a little video? I squit. You put the gum sheet in the room. The gum sheet was all right anyway. You were gagging in your hole. You put it in there. You put it in your ear. You know.
SPEAKER_00The old prison wallet. Well, I would so like uh boxing blanket because I can't run the length myself. So I can do a pad session and do 45 minutes and do circuits, and then Steven's like, right, just run up and down the gym. I'm all nah. It's about ten feet. It wouldn't be the length of this place.
SPEAKER_02I'll walk it like the living walk.
SPEAKER_0015 steps. That happened to be seen after. I did a tour, it was like a two-half, so it toured sort of September, November. Then I had Christmas, and then it toured again January to March. So it was just fucking eating shit, drinking too much of it. Well, there hit a point where like I one day last week I did about 8,000 steps, and my watch was like, you alright, lad. Like a health warning five times.
SPEAKER_02Like you know, I was off.
SPEAKER_01It was like calm down when you fucking aren't big shout out to that praise guy helping plenty of people win plenty of praises. Head on over to their page, see what's in store for you. Imagine you won. Imagine you won. You watched this episode and you thought, fuck, I'm gonna do the praise guy, you know what? I'm gonna do it now. And you won a big praise. All you have to do is buy me a paint. That's it. So head on over to their Instagram, check out their link, see what praise are in store for you. Stick an alert no when there's a warghine, they can do that.
SPEAKER_02Everyone's like talking about it.
SPEAKER_00The day after Boxing Day, I've my watch flashed up and it hit 15,000 steps. I was like, I've been sitting here all day eating half.
SPEAKER_02Like, chewed myself through a step go like full bag and we're for a thin half. Ooh, one 15,000 slices.
SPEAKER_00I see three of them out there. Alright, so at the minute I'm doing fuck all. I'm sort of uh because the tour's all finished up, so I'm just chilling about it.
SPEAKER_01What happened now? Will you have another tour set there? Like, is there a lot of things?
SPEAKER_00I was planning to wait until autumn next year, and then I got fucking too upgrade eight, like, so I'm putting one on the autumn next year as well. Uh because if I don't have a show to write for, I won't write jokes. Yeah, you can't. I'll just sit out. Stones. Which is also classic, like so I think I'm gonna put one out in October. But summer not be a busy time for you though, like see it depends on because it's like a lot of times people fuck off in their holidays, so the colony club's pretty much closed down.
SPEAKER_01People go away, I'm gonna be better.
SPEAKER_00So you do get the odd kind of like the odd night where like I've done a few, if the weather's good, you can do them in beer gardens and they're fucking class, correct? Yeah, uh, yeah, 100%. Like, um, and then there's all like Edinburgh festival happens in August, so a lot of people fuck off and won't do that and stuff. Were you good at that? I'll go over for a couple of days and hang about, but um I haven't done comedy festivals in about two years and have money because of it. Yeah. Because you spend a fucking fortune doing them. Yeah, yeah. Um and every ticket you sell, there's about 15 people taking a week out of the money. So come the end of the festival, like you owe us eight grand, and you're all what? Oh, you am. Yeah, it's had to be a couple of times where like I was working with a big promoter one year and I owed them 1200 pounds. And they went, we can't work with you next year because your show we didn't make any money. And I was like, but that was your job. I was supposed to just tell the jokes. Yeah. So I can't work with you. And it was like, who broke up with who? I broke up with you. It's mutual. Alright, it's complicated. Facebook enough. So I'll head over to Edinburgh for like a couple of days in the piss probably and do a couple of spots.
SPEAKER_01Like, Emera's a great spot, too. It's class, fucking class.
SPEAKER_00Especially during that festival, because the whole city does like I mean, it's it's a great time, and the whole city becomes a big fucking comedy festival. But the rest of the year you're just panicking about paying five grand for a fucking student flat for a long time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Is the flat? I don't know if you can find it. Of August here in Belfast. We because we obviously we got a big ladder through the door from the Belfast City Council saying like they're pedestrianising all out chambers and all the whole city centre being pedestrianised. So it's like a million, like a million visitors. Fucking hell. So surely they should have comedy, especially with like Nats Burnham. Like they and I see.
SPEAKER_02So you can draw the biggest screen.
SPEAKER_00Can you do knock knock us, will you?
SPEAKER_02Oh you do one, so you have to build a peace wall. Re matter no stop on the wall.
SPEAKER_03Patty, I can fucking hear you. I was never a draw.
SPEAKER_02Fucking robber.
SPEAKER_01But I um it's like I emailed a fly out to try and get the gym involved somehow. Like, um, just to do like maybe Herox classes, because we're fucking million visitors and an awful lot of people. Like, you don't want to be, you don't want to have nav place for like I would love. They're not just like me and you, man, I just get pissed up, you know what I mean? Good thing is hopefully I'll fought and I'll get injured. Plus derblings just enjoy just uh she'll have give birth and like the start of or like the 21st of July, and that's the second y'all just want to be here. She's in the gaff in it.
SPEAKER_02Bro, steps isn't the Christy Muir. I sure know's been or fighting again. Christy Muir Plasin.
SPEAKER_00I want to see Christy Moore and Cork in the start of July, in the June start of July. Christy Muir's class. I've never seen him live. Never seemed live.
SPEAKER_01Exact the exact same. Most of the time you do Lisney anime, they're live events. Right. Like at the end of the day. That's true, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's he's he's class. Big shout out to the Wing Society on the Lisbon Road the best chicken tenders this side of the Mississippi. I'm telling you, finger licking? I'm telling you, now you'll not be licking your fingers. You'll be sucking them. Because it's that good. Do you hear me? Get yourself down to Wing Society, try out their tenders, try out their burgers, try all their sauces. Unreal.
SPEAKER_00I was remembering my message note. I've had two more to drink when I go, well, Alexa, like Christymer, which is like I'm going to bed.
SPEAKER_02Larkin nice long. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I moved in the Protestant estate to roll. He's out of the game. Get him out. I'm Mickey's been radicalized.
SPEAKER_02Get him out. Say they're not welcome. Foreigners go home.
SPEAKER_00I'm from here. Not from here, but you're not from here. I have the burning boat in the lawn over.
SPEAKER_01And it's not a big, it's not like a Lurgan's more Catholic, the majority Catholic, would it be? It's probably 50-50 to be honest.
SPEAKER_00I don't think anybody really gives a fuck about anymore, though. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01I don't think anybody gives a fuck anybody. Right, exactly. It's just like it's days and I where people are like so what? Even like football teams, like stuff and only lads I know who owns a bar in the city center and he was saying that he doesn't allow football teams, just like football shirts, but they show sport in the bar. And he's like, just it they like people are allowed to wear rugby taps, but they're just not allowed to wear football taps. And I was like, What? Who cares?
SPEAKER_00That's just the culture of football. Well, is it like the fucking hooligans? Aye. Hooligans. I was talking I was wearing Glasgow a couple weeks ago and uh it was the week after the well, there's the big rad between the Rangers and telephones.
SPEAKER_01I made a slap by in the middle of it.
SPEAKER_00Seriously?
SPEAKER_01I guess he stands, I guess, in the photo, and we were all like, what the fuck? And then there's a video of him and he goes on your man's like running across the bar. He climbs over the bar and he starts aging at a box and stance from like a hundred metres away. So he's like a crowd. He's like, freeze. He's like, Where's your man? Is he famous? Because your man's so far away, I can't see him in the camera. And then he gets closer and closer and closer and closer, and then the security guard stabs him personally, and nothing happens.
SPEAKER_02And then, I was there. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00All the guys was televised, like, because I don't watch football, but whenever Joan Ranger sings simply the best to do the fucking poke in the area, the Celtic fans sing fuck the Huns in the UD. I went, that's lovely. Just have a wee bit of musical banner. That really shows you how it's camped.
SPEAKER_02Bottom of the band. The boat we want. Scorpion.
SPEAKER_00They all turn on their church.
SPEAKER_02Stephen Carlson. Stephen McCall's very well. Yeah, the buttons or the car boots up.
SPEAKER_00Fucking ramp shop goes up.
SPEAKER_02Shadow stations burned. Yeah. Oh no. You love the Jesus Christ. Oh his chance up there. Some of them are classed at fought on the football like chance today.
SPEAKER_00I always remember there was one that it was a fucking, it was a Korean player, a player from Man United.
SPEAKER_01Park J Sun?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And they would go Park J Sun, wherever you may be. You eat dogs in your own cancer. It could be worse. You could be scouts, eating rats in a cancer.
SPEAKER_02He's a manu fan. Give him a manu fan.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna be racist as fuck, which I'm like. That's when Tommy McCarthy is that joke about somebody shouldn't get stuck into the black belt.
SPEAKER_02That's fucking burden. Oh, that's unreal.
SPEAKER_00You remember mascara runs every time?
SPEAKER_02That's how I wait for you to go on either. You fuck you fucking the rest. Sephora's still good. Oh my god. There was chaos over that as well. It's Sephora.
SPEAKER_00Same that's a piece of the eye.
SPEAKER_01TikToks burn up for that. All there'll be NI uh enfin all button, like all fit meeters.
SPEAKER_00It's like Crips versus Bones, like cars get burnt up. All whacking each other with a ring light.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's class.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. That's why his place is like it's so it's it's just it's amazing how small this place is and how so fucked up it is.
SPEAKER_00Like there's we find a way to debate over a ring and at like in the same like alright, you have football differences, you have political differences, you you fucking I I'd I've got I was doing a joke with this a couple months ago where uh just like the north, we're so fucking aggressive, right? So like say if you're if you're driving through the countryside in the spring summertime and farmers have spread fields, if you're anywhere else in the world you go, oh the farms have spread the fields, but if you're from here you turn to the person beside you go, do you shed yourself like the speed that you play?
SPEAKER_02Put it up, put it up, you're fucking dirty bad.
SPEAKER_00Like everybody knows it's the field, but just they'll go oh shit.
SPEAKER_01You know, it just creates the batter, doesn't it, as well? You always like like yeah, even if you do know it, obviously we know it's the feel because it's it's the the perfume of the business thing. That's uh that's our fucking that's our uh cold water, like that's our cultural sound.
SPEAKER_02We're good to go.
SPEAKER_01Fucking brilliant, but uh yeah, it's fucking it's it's just crates. I think it's just characters, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, everybody's fucking mental. I tell you, but I remember told you last time. I was down in uh I'd been in Australia for six months. I came home, and a couple days later we had like a doof. My cousin passed away. We had like a raffle fundraiser fucking session. I was like real culture. I was standing just standing holding a pint, and a fella just walked up and grabbed my belly and looked at one. Just helped. And I was going, what is it? Are we fighting around? I was like, I don't know what, I don't know what to do. And they just walked away, and I was like, that happened, then it just happened. I was like, just grab my gut and fucking down her off.
SPEAKER_02You wonder if his hand tells us how. I don't know. What's it can? Then you walk over the camera.
unknownWhat the fuck is that?
SPEAKER_00Well it's kind of we go away, Charles. I came here to fuck.
SPEAKER_02Oh my goodness. I've got the good stuff.
SPEAKER_00Stand back, what do you see us? You're in my gym now. Yeah, what's Joel having?
SPEAKER_01Winks is that I'm supporting the gook here. It's eleven in the morning, we're just about to get top. This isn't the battery, it's like this is living.
SPEAKER_00Oh you're not afraid. Don't afraid.
SPEAKER_02He knows you that's his listen.
SPEAKER_01Oh fuck. Break my break my way, man.
SPEAKER_00This will be a nightmare to try and talk to her. That's how we all uh uh Some people are free of that language So they don't even need it, it's just like I can start protein here.
SPEAKER_01Not your favorite sauce like what is like a spice? Because there was no idea. It's not the size of the chicken. It's the sweetness of the scent of the chicken. Ah, holy crazy.
SPEAKER_00I got uh trying to go back in the fucking half decent down just eating chicken breasts. But it must have been the chicken must have been called Sydney Sweetie because you want to sing the size of the day. The earth was like a lot of fucking settled.
SPEAKER_02Just done it. You're in the catchy motorboat and a fight with your message boxing.
SPEAKER_00So like you're between fights and what like what's your train? I like it fucking still. Oh really? I fuck over it.
SPEAKER_01I know what. But uh what I'm doing stuff make on me for me. Like Harak, people here, Harak, right there, what? I went to Malaga last year, that one. Even a silver ranger. Um just a glorious, then. Skear, London, crater, locking up, and there's like thirsty You know what? People from here are really, really good at it for some reason. We like I think we have like horse or we're uh I get my hair cops, can you say Are you thinking something got hard?
SPEAKER_00Come from boxing training when the high rocks are
SPEAKER_01The transfers we have. Like a lot of boxes are good runners. We always run the l like to lose weight. From very young, you know what I mean? And you're making weight for boxing, so it uh it helps you run. And you've you like cer certain boxes are on real. Like thermocopy, I know. Do you know thermoclock from there? He runs like 10k and 32 minutes.
SPEAKER_03What the hell?
SPEAKER_01Well fuck. I couldn't drive it. He's just been getting it wrong because he's always always around from the weeds till he's good. Like swatches on the boss I'm going wrong.
SPEAKER_00That and all the pants all the way in all the And this is my normal breakfast.
SPEAKER_01By the way, this is fucking on my labor.
SPEAKER_00I know it's a nightmare trying to talk here, and I'm like, fucking.
SPEAKER_01Don't you want to talk to you anyway? I'll be a big catch for this. Food's so good, you want to talk to you.
SPEAKER_00The quiet time podcast would have.
SPEAKER_01Creepy. If you wanna go for food with someone and you don't want to talk to him, bring him the link to say.
SPEAKER_00I just want to be engaged with what I'm doing. I shouldn't have spoken that. I'm gonna eat all that. Aye. It's a dirty bulk. Every season.
SPEAKER_01What's a crackle box now? Why?
SPEAKER_00Why are we still doing it? I love it again. I was talking about it like um because I was trying to organise another comedian's one, but nobody wanted to do it.
SPEAKER_01I think it's not the end.
SPEAKER_00And then there was a there was chat, a few different things, and then uh girl Kessie Henderson trains her to the gym that I go to. So they were doing a they're talking about doing a fundraiser with her because obviously her going to the States and all the things that cost a fucking fortune. Yeah. So I said I'd jump onto that one and do one. But I was also like, as long as it's not a killer. Aye. I'm like a husband, another fat alcoholic.
SPEAKER_01Like the two that you're done for the comedian, like the comedian boxing was unbelievable. The two shows were on there, but I knew it was starting to get a wee bit comparative, and people are like watching other people who they weren't even fitting and being like, ever beat him or not.
SPEAKER_00The first one was like it was good crack. Because it was I mean, it was only about six or seven weeks between booking it and like that was all the training people had. The second time around it was like there was a good six months, and I know every single one of us is walking down the street, like, I hope somebody does fucking start something. Nah. And then you get dog once in the mouth and you go, I hate this.
SPEAKER_01And I'll be around, can't the apologies in the beginning of getting a no size, right?
SPEAKER_00I was like, stop my policies, try them again. I I love the like for me it's because I'm doing it first thing in the morning, so it's like half section in the morning.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I guess good for like even just because doing stand-up's quite an unhealthy lifestyle, like you're fucking trying, you're eating out of fucking petrol seasons all the time. But getting up early and knocking your pan on for 45 minutes sets a whole day up for you, like so your mental health goes through the roof. I went to the fucking doctor and uh for a health MOT and he couldn't believe how low my blood pressure was. Because he he went, I thought I genuinely thought like and I was like, well, fucking slapping pads four times a week, and he's like, that's starting to look at that.
SPEAKER_01You're not knowing but yeah, it's uh boxing's a fucking we do boxing classes in our gym, like, and 90% of the people who do the classes from the gym are all women. They love it. And it's just like they people don't realise the benefits of it, they're just even like the stress relief. They're not gonna be able to.
SPEAKER_00Everything about the gym. The one thing I notice is if I if I stop for a week or two trying to get back into it, crazy.
SPEAKER_01That's that's a thing. I sort of have time a chicken. That's a twin. They're twins.
SPEAKER_00Sydney Sweeney.
SPEAKER_01Sydney Sweeney.
SPEAKER_00I went out and did a so uh Jim Igold who does uh a Tuesday and a Thursday to do group classes. So I haven't doing one-to-one for ages. And then I had about a month, I think it was an Australian, but a month where I was fucking drinking too much and touring all that sort of stuff. I thought, right, I'm doing a one-to-one on a Tuesday, but the Thursday before it, I was like, I'll go to the group class and sort of ease myself back in. So I turn up, there's me and a fellow in his mid-50s, and a guy who's 68, 69, something like that. I was standing wrapping my hands, like, these boys ready to go to school. I'm like fucking I'm Lurk's Great White Hope. Sean, 20 minutes in, the 68-year-old shouted, Mickey, just keep punching, you're doing alright. Swear to God, like and then he ran home and had to fucking tap out. I was like, I didn't go home, I'm sick. And as I was in the car park, he just fucking came out and jogged his way home, like humble. Humble baskets just need one of those books that was like I think he was a fucking delivery man his whole life. So he's got knee braces and elbow braces, and he's still just fucking crazy now.
SPEAKER_01I'd be looking at baths.
SPEAKER_00If I hit 50, people go, 50?
SPEAKER_0350?
SPEAKER_00That's definitely one of those things I'm saying too to getting older when I'm trying to box the iron, like my elbows are fucking killing.
SPEAKER_01I feel sweet, dude. I'm I'm 33 now. Senior licker. I was watching football and someone was saying, Oh, he's done nice, fucking 30, but night or something's like, he's done nice. Fucking I was like, he's only like twenty nine. I was rosy or something for a month. Oh he's done nice, too. He's like, what is it? He's like fucking thirty or something. I feel brown eight. I feel good to bowling. I don't feel like I feel about twenty-five.
SPEAKER_00Well, awesome physically you like it's a different type of fucking athlete, so most but you can physically still be out of the George Foreman was still fucking hitting the heavy bag when he was 80, when he looked like.
SPEAKER_01I suppose I just think like depending when you pick, I don't know, I find it all bit too mad, right? Like certain people are done before other people know, like 33 is old for some people, but others aren't like a catchy's 37.
SPEAKER_00So it's like Is there is there a trend or is it different in the weight classes? Or is it kind of similar?
SPEAKER_01Me personally, my own personal um opinion on it is made in the tank. I think less made in the tank. For people who don't put their body through as much stress as well. Right. Doesn't really score, doesn't really train. And uh he can go for another. Right. Because he's not broken there, he's not fucking his body is another major stress line.
SPEAKER_00I saw an interview with uh fuck what he I can forget his name now. Sky's boxer. He's retired a couple of years now. But he but basically was talking about like the amount of the amount of times a professional boxer gets hit in the head over the course of a year for training or whatever else. And he's like, I've probably been hit in the head about 50 million times. Nah.
SPEAKER_01Like another chap.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01Over the course Oh, Barry was it? Yeah, it's barely. Um The damage is done. I think when people get punched up, it's through tap, training caps. Right. It all like for table. You do it can't we can't you put it on a spar. Anywhere between 150 rounds to 180 rounds. Most camps are like that's that's 180 rounds of boxing. Spark hit. And like a spar's not easy, you don't go ahead and take it easy on a spar, like. Right. A spar you actually take more risks in a spar than you do in a fit. Because you're not the loose. Right. So you're getting repeated people are getting repeatedly hit. And although maybe winning the spars, they still get hit. Right. And it's like, fuck me. Over over the course, and imagine that over like, some people have 50 like money pot else, 50 or fades. How long has he done that for? Do you know what I mean? And that's why people say Mayweather is fucking the the greatest of ever, because he doesn't he doesn't get hit. Right. And even when he was spawn, he can get hit and it showed his performance, you know what I mean? It's fucking when you put it in the head, when you put it like that, that people how often people are getting hit. Fucking kids aren't allowed to hit a ball. I write no offense. You're allowed to fight from your uh ten years of age and punch each other in the face.
SPEAKER_00You're not even taking consideration the fucking years up to becoming a professional, that sort of stuff, too. Like I got hit hard once, someone was like, fuck us. Took me about a week to get over it.
SPEAKER_01Don't hit Well, they're all just wee hangs that could be argued as the why people last longer than others, or why people retire quicker than others, or why people lose it. You know, like like McConnell, like Mick is a machine, he trains like a fucking animal, and he always has. He's so competitive in his training, he trains, he lives the life, goes away. And some people would say he's the the ultimate offer, the go away, like the ultimate professional, he goes away and lives a life, eats the food, trains well, loses the weight. Looks fucking phenomenal, he's in the ring, but it's major stress, you put your body under it, and then you can just look at me and I I don't live the life. I don't go away, I go away for camps, but I don't murder myself. I I I make weight easy, I'm fucking full of protein here because of it. And I'll make the weight easy. Don't put my myself in major stress, don't be too like people putting an awful lot of pressure on themselves. Cause when I'm sparring, I don't really get hit. Oh and I feel like I'm getting better. Alright. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Alright. So it's like and the science has changed all the time behind it as well. Like even That's what I think about not sparring as much. It's only been a recent kind of development, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01Loads of faders now. Like loads of faders don't spar in a camp, eh? People only spar. People only train. What I like to do is replicate along the fadings. Like, why would I do anything more? And like my fate's probably gonna be 36 minutes, 12 rounds. Right. Why would you murder yourself for more than 36 minutes in a screening season? Do you know what I mean? People do that like a two-hour season. Twice a day, four hours a day, fucking magazine.
SPEAKER_00Like, did I spar like fucking twenty rounds every day? Stupid.
SPEAKER_01Me personally, I think it's just stupid that you have anything worried about you're gonna replicate the ring.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_01Oh. I'm just giving you all this advice because I know where you're gonna end up. I'm on the way back. Get that wee 69 old round that's gonna be. Stop it!
SPEAKER_00I mean it was take the other day, too. When it was Thursday, and uh Stevie goes, like, you should put music on, he goes, What do you want to listen to? And for the crack, I went just check the rocky soundtrack on for fucking and I forgot that you play a rocky soundtrack to a fucking professional fighter, they get buzzed as well. So I'm like, he's he's throwing past David Snowdon!
SPEAKER_02Crying eyes, leave me alone.
SPEAKER_03I can see three of you in here.
SPEAKER_02Oh fuck.
SPEAKER_00Have you thought about retiring yourself at any point, like a review? No.
SPEAKER_01People ask me when it long people ask me this. Like, how long do you think you have left in here? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Just keep running. Fucking right. Same. I just do it through your secondary. You thought if you if you did retire, would you get into training boxers or would you walk away from the half-by-coach? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I've been boxing for 25 years, longer, 26 years. And uh go back to Holy Sunday and hop out with the kids are first of all, like. Because it's speaking to give back, I mean the amount of knowledge and experience I've gained over years, like uh fucking child in different countries, mimicking different styles. Right. I'll tell you how to give back, like, I'm coach.
SPEAKER_00Right. I don't be shy too you finish having a call center being told what to do. Fuck. I hate my boss. The racial tomorrow's casual Friday. You don't have to wear the tie.
SPEAKER_01Can't wait to be Oh fucking mad. I don't think boxers are are are are programmed to do anything to get everything to do anything like obviously there's always always this thing where like boxers who retire end up like having into half a season alcohol I don't need to retire to the other. That's just me anyway. I just keep living. Um but if we were to try and give a box like a a boxer normal structure, the key just like a dick.
SPEAKER_00Ah, yeah. Maybe the same a comedian.
SPEAKER_01Is he time McCaffrey can in a comedian? Trump McCann, I I don't know what Trump McCann's name. Howard Frank was in the ponder, but he's still Polly Barnes. He works for a sport cancel, but he he literally does whatever he wants. Um I hired a programme, someone getting into five, he's never known before it.
SPEAKER_00Oh, absolutely, okay, 100%.
SPEAKER_01Could you ever do an interference?
SPEAKER_00Right. I've tried a couple of times. Like I think about probably ten years ago, I was supposed to do the Edinburgh Festival, and then there was I can't remember what happened, but it ended up I didn't have a show. So a month when no gigs booked, and I'd spent a load of money on accommodational, and it just ended up I had to get a job on a call centre. And I was in it for a swear to Robin for a month, and it was like I love to hear your your uh your phone voice went like that. I didn't I didn't have one because it was what were we doing? It was a sort of man, one of the best ones that ever happened, right? So there was we were selling like PP PPI, or like known people were getting bad mortgages after 2008, and we were trying to get them compensation. It was like you do a full week's training at the end of it, they're like, any questions? And I'm all no, and I hadn't a fucking clue as to Red. But every time you made a seal, you got a fiver. So everybody was all they all thought they're wolf for Wall Street roll technical, I swear to God, I swear to god, like there was one point they'd done this thing where they had every team would get like a different fucking nickname at the start of the week. It was fucking patronised as fuck. And uh there was one Friday night, one of the girls went out and she bucked the assistant manager, and her name for the next week was the Company Inc.
SPEAKER_02Good idea.
SPEAKER_00I'll be the phone, but there was one day where you'd the phone and you you'd a whole script, and I like I can't remember anybody, but you were just lying to people. Like, and the whole thing was a scam because basically, like the whatever you whatever the fuck money you got back the company took 80% of it or something. So you like say you owe 20 grand, you might have got two grand. Uh you felt shit to it, but there was one day I was like, I hadn't made a single sale the whole time I was there. I'm talking, it's all English people, I'm talking to the English people, I'm getting the whole way through the fucking thing. And he gets right there and he's like, Do you know what? This sounds like a good idea. And I'm like, I'm gonna get a fiver. And then I realised that he he was a fucking former squad, was like stationed here. And he went, I'm only joking, you feel and I was like, Yes! And I got told off for laughing. He should have been angry with that. I was like, that was genius. He fucking kept me going for an hour and then just wiped me like over an hour. It was fucking awful that job. I did I'd worked in a call centre before that as well when I left uni. And I remember looking at the calendar one day and I realised I've been working there six months, and I just went, nah, and took the headphone off and just walked out. Couldn't do it.
SPEAKER_01I was my brother worked in a call centre and um see when you think about it, he's a grip there link. And um it was probably around the same time, 2008, when the boom happened. There was no work, and he was working on a call centre for a bit. And he was just he was turning to piss there. He just literally went on the rip every weekend. Then it was him, he was working nine to five and just went on the drink every Friday or Sunday. Back into work again, and the money was shit. What's your housekeeping? He was feeding half it together, because he was just pissing every week, and he was just in that we cycle of like, I was like, fuck me, massive working in that place.
SPEAKER_00Like I remember going down there, the one I worked in for the month. So we would start working eleven o'clock, but we had to be there at quarter past ten or something. So I was sitting around quarter past ten, chat the way, chat away, and then at 5 to 11 the phones all started ringing. And there's a moment where we're like, everyone's like that, and then just the whole room just goes broop broop and everybody just fucking put their head down.
SPEAKER_01It's mad at all.
SPEAKER_00And I was like, it's just spooky. There was no windows on the place. Aye, but there was no windows on the place, so they don't. Every call centre I've been in, they don't have windows because they don't want you looking outside.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you're like, We're a battery farm. This is fucking disgusting.
SPEAKER_01Like, well, I know. It's mod people still live or still live or later. Fucking mental health crisis. I just can't get wet. You're not even getting paid enough to fucking pay your bills anymore, you're not getting fucking paid enough to go out and get off your shit. Aye.
SPEAKER_00I'll tell you this soon. I go back to the civil service in a fucking heartbeat. I was the easiest fucking I I was in the civil service for a year, and the day that my contract ran out, I turned to my boss and went, I was like, if you let me keep this job, I'd give up on every dream of a rat. We were doing fuck all. We'd like there was one day we went one of the last I worked with went, Do you want to take a big agreement? And I went, no, and he went, Ma. We had to be part of the being like the first one to get a root skin. But we were working on premises, so what we were doing was like delivering the mail around the building and like changing the big water bottles in the water vents, and the boss came down and was like, the money to change that water bottle, and like excited, nah.
SPEAKER_02Fucking loved it. Is it Jimmy? He walks it. He talks to me, oh no, no, no. He doesn't stand up. Jimmy was saying Parker grounds. I fucking love that. Oh fucking.
SPEAKER_00He might be the best character in the whole fucking thing. And he stutters like a guy I went to uni with. I can't even I was going to do a story on stage, fucking tell it, right? So I went to there was two, there was I did drama at uni, right? And there were three fellas in the class, and me and two other fellas, and it was literally like 40 women and three of us. Just being like, you start daddy and you start daddy. We're in the middle of it, but there was two fellas. I love two fellas called Steven. And uh, but one of them had a real bad stutter, right? It's fucking awful. It's fucking awful. It's gonna be like that, right? The first time we were up, we were in Derek, and they were like, the book doesn't tour the walls, so we could all fucking walk around and check out, you know, see what Derry was like, so stutter and Stephen because it wouldn't be Ah fuck. He goes, he was trying to figure it out, Catherine Frost, right? And he goes, do you call it London Derry? Or do you call it Derry? And I went, well, I used to call it dairy because I thought it was quicker. But every time he told the lie, he would stutter because he was nervous about the lie, but then he would lie to cover up the stutter, right? Check constantly, right?
SPEAKER_02And he told us his manner.
SPEAKER_00I swear to God, but he told us his man and dad was dead. And one of the girls was like, I'm pretty sure his man dropped him off balls last week. So years go by, I haven't seen him in fucking years. And I was doing a gig at uh the riverside in Colorado. I'm still having a fair with the fan. And this couple come over, like an older couple, and the wee woman goes, Oh Meggie, you went to university with my Stephen. And I'm like, right, was it Stutter and Stephen? Because his man dad's dead, it must be the other Stephen. So I'm thinking it must be the other fellow, right? So the support actor show starts, and I went to the bar to get a pint. And the dad gave me the pint and goes, Adam a f I was like, I knew you had a hand bath or stuff on the back.
SPEAKER_02I know. It's a different guy.
SPEAKER_00Oh fucking hell, it's like more code.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's a classic. Terrible afflexion. Oh classic.
SPEAKER_01Oh fucking good times. Oh Steve's probably gonna lie, it's a big.
SPEAKER_00But leave it a really long comment. Do you want to call me a wagger?com.
SPEAKER_01What's your favorite paste gig? Belfast? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Belfast Glasgow's fucking class. Glasgow? Yeah. Anywhere real dude anywhere, like.
SPEAKER_01Do you like the internet gigs or do you feel like you get the cigar? Yeah, I prefer the like 146.
SPEAKER_00It depends on the night, really. It's one of the ones where like if there's a good heckle, I'm like, oh fuck, if I'm not in the mood, I go for five can be our space. But if there's nights where I'm really fucking like I'm honest, I'm on ahead and see who wins here. Like, uh, because I've got a magic talkie stick. But I prefer, like, I was in the crack then in Dublin last week, and it's like I think it holds about 140. And it's nearly like two different rooms. So one room's right in front of you. Yeah. And then the other room's through a big, it's like a double doorway with no doors. So the other half of the room are actually watching a comedy club. Yeah, it's like a real weird thing. It's just like in a wee living room. Um so I love them because you're just fucking like like comedy works best in a room that's a wee bit too small and a wee bit too warm. Yeah. Because when people, when they're too hot, they can't breathe properly. So when they start laughing, they're like, You're like, that's not even a good joke. We need to hear the next bit. Like wait, haven't we started? Because like wait, like we've in the Christmas time we've done the the SSE with a full I was eight and a half thousand or something. Yeah. And it's class, but you're also just like you can just see people walking about piss.
SPEAKER_01And it's just like you're just it's just script, isn't it? You're just doing stand-up, like you're a stand-up. Like there's no like it's not the actual like the true state of the guys. Like, who was I seen yesterday? Oh uh Cam Bridges, and he was he was just doing a small tonight gig, and I was like, that's class. That's right up my street there. Like rather than panic to go and watch him, I was like, obviously try and get him in a smaller gig as well. Oh, hundred percent, like yeah. That's where you get the you see the proper side of comedy.
SPEAKER_00I saw him do it. It was a clip from Monkey Barrel in Edinburgh, and it was never it's fucking brilliant. You forget how fucking good he is, like I know, he's unreal. But it was when the Russell Brand stuff broke. Oh yeah, and Russell Brand's statement was like, I wholeheartedly uh fucking reject these inflammatory accusations. This is a an attack on my personal character, and da da da. And Kevin Bridges just goes, that's a lot of fancy words for a man who can't understand the word no. And it's like about 80 people in the room, and you go, fuck, I wish I was everyone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_00But at the flip side, I remember going to see I went and saw Mickey Flanagan, the SSE, and I left at the interval. Yeah, because it's too big to sit in.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Do you know what I mean? Like like you just hear people are arguing about pints, you just watch them on the screen.
SPEAKER_01No, no, that's it. That's it. You need to be we went my chain's one. Were you on that? With the one with Shane done? No, yeah. It was good, where we were sitting was good. You can understand you're sitting far away, or that's like you you watch the screen and you're just gonna be like this.
SPEAKER_00And you can see people still have their coats on because the room's freezing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's just you want that painting a table in your watch. And even I think I go for a ring. Like if you're like for even like when people go to watch, see like boxing. See when people come watch me spawn, they're like, Oh, that's fucking class, because it's so close to the ring. It's just a spa. There's no pressure, there's no big crowd, no atmosphere, but it's like they actually get to watch how good someone really is and spotted.
SPEAKER_00I've I've been to Glastonbury three times, and every time I've been at Glastonbury, I'm going, This is better when I'm in the house watching it on TV. Yeah, 100%. Because there's three or four of you being like, and you're actually seeing the gig as opposed to being fucking four miles away from a stage being like, who's on? Who's on? Bally Parton, I can see the tits.
SPEAKER_01Oh fucking brilliant. Would you ever go to Glastonbury as like a like as a guest? Would you ever go on the script go on the rip? Have you ever been?
SPEAKER_00Well no, but the times have been over, I've been gigging at it, but you're doing like one set and then you're there for the rip the rest of the time. Oh I said, that's good, yeah. Because it was one, there was a time that I've told the story before. I ended up taking a lot of fucking MDMA for the first time ever. I was off my fucking nut. And the next day I was about to go on stage and I'm like standing like really on a calm down, like fucking hell. And then did 15 minutes of stand-up and it was like the adrenaline kicked in, it was back in the game. Came off stage like, right, who's got the coke? Let's fucking go. And put the tent back up and off. Sorry about that pen.
SPEAKER_02Nah, you know, if there's ever a comment again, you know what's it? Exactly, just go do stand-up.
SPEAKER_00But that's the thing. I've told a few comedians about that, but I'm like, look, the thing about it is when you do a gig, it'll get rid of your hangover, right? People kind of got it. They'll come off the yeah, like you're a lion cut. And like maybe you just got as hard as my. But yeah, it always fixes me out. I think that's from doing comedy festivals so much, though, because like you do the Edinburgh fringe, and by about the fourth day, you're drinking that much that somebody goes, we on it last night, and you go, nah, but nine pounds, nothing major. Like, and you do that for a month. So every day you're hungover doing a set, and then you're better, and then you're fucking drinking.
SPEAKER_01You don't even know what it is, it'd be normal. Can't even get drunk. So stay.
SPEAKER_00Aye. There's times of that we're just like, I can't even get pissed. Uh oh. But I'm too old for it too. Like, that's not that's another thing. Every time I do Edinburgh, I come back with something wrong. Yeah, like something's growing out of my neck, and my body's like, oh, I've been keeping secrets, you've been poisoned for a month.
SPEAKER_02100%.
SPEAKER_00Like, and you feel great the whole, you're like, I fucking haven't had a pimple or anything. And then you give me a stop as well. As soon as you can die. And I just broke. Aye. Fuck me. Do you ever get that if you like if you fucking take a week off training or something?
SPEAKER_01I train. See, you're you put your body through so much, so like when I'm losing weight the last like week, I always break out. Always because you're so severe dehydrated. And your body's just you have no carbs in you, you have no nutrients in you, you're literally just like training in your your whole body. Um and then I always break out. And then after a fate, if I want to drink, like I start getting cold sores and shit. I just run out of the way. Like, what's going on here? Because you're used to living a certain way and then next thing you you're the like the volume of food drops, the volume of water drops, the tiredness kicks in, your tone dry, so you can't sleep, and then you fight, and you're full of dry and you're full of energy because you're low to eat again, and then you're low to go and drink. Which means you can stay out and longer, you're eating three or four in the morning drinking, and then you won't be wake up in your pocket again. Right. Because you're like celebrating it, and next thing your body's like, what the fuck's going on here? Like just three years ago, you were like down in the tops, now you're on this fight, now you're up here, now you're like.
SPEAKER_00How long like how long would you be cutting weight for then if like in the building?
SPEAKER_01Well, you're you're on a you're on a I would just quasi cut weight till fate week, and then I would cut like five kilos on fate week. Fucking hell? Yeah, that's just water, just taking roads of water to me, carves out of me, and fabric of me. Just take it all out. That's fucking radically.
SPEAKER_00I have I've been trying to lose five kilos over three years now.
SPEAKER_02We're going the old way.
SPEAKER_00Making all those chicken nodes work. Don't drink a tub of gravy with it, mate. Fuck up. Tell me what to do.
SPEAKER_02Sure.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, well look, listen. I'm an absolute calories. And uh thank you for coming on, man. Sure. We'll get a we'll get a catch-up.
SPEAKER_00Probably nice, uh half another bit with somewhere.