70. Love Lessons and Kitchen Confessions with Chef Carlos

From the art of cooking to navigating modern dating, we explore how creativity, relationships, and personal transformation all intertwine. Ghosting, breakups, and life’s big questions come to the table as we uncover the lessons hidden in failure, the wisdom from ancient civilizations, and the power of self-discovery. 

No topic is off-limits as we challenge expectations and embrace the complexities of human connection and the journey of becoming who we’re meant to be.

Jump to the mic drop moments...
0:00 Intro
12:04 Career Journey and Embracing Opportunities
24:32 Ghosting: The End of Friendships
34:44 Meeting in the Wild vs. Apps: The Modern Dating Dilemma
41:18 Exploring Past Lives and Reincarnation

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 12:04 Career Journey and Embracing Opportunities
• 24:32 Ghosting: The End of Friendships
• 34:44 Meeting in the Wild vs. Apps: The Modern Dating Dilemma
• 41:18 Exploring Past Lives and Reincarnation

Transcript

Kristin (00:00)
Welcome back, guys, to another episode of Sex, Drugs, and Soul. I've got my homie here, Carlos Fernandez. used to be a Top Chef or he was on the season two of Top Chef and we used to work together and I used to follow him around with my little phone for all the funny things that came out of his mouth.

Carlos Fernandez (00:16)
Well, I am like the sound bit king, guess. But no, thank you for having me. This is a blast. I always love.

Kristin (00:23)
I'm excited. I thought we'd chat about relationships and love and dating. And so I poured myself a little tequila to get ready. And I pulled up like one of the quotes. I was like, I want to find one of the quotes that Carlos said. And I was like, this is a great one. As in January, 2023, you said, not only has the dating poll shrunk, somebody peed in it.

Carlos Fernandez (00:49)
Yeah, went down in doubt. Isn't that the truth? But I think there's different levels to that too. Because not only a lot of people are paired up or just out of the game altogether because they're just so disgusting, but people grow. And as you grow, you're not going to put up with as much crap as you put

Kristin (00:55)
Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I'm gonna go with. I've just grown. And you my single or my alone time is so good that I love it. I'm like, okay, it's gonna be really good for me to wanna give up this.

Carlos Fernandez (01:23)
Right. And you know, there used to be a country western song on this young lady's thing. She's on a really bad date. And she goes, can't believe I shaded my lights for this.

Because it's true, but on the other hand that's the other that's the flip side of it I find that people get a little too picky in a little too choose. my god He doesn't eat red jelly beans and I'm like, well listen, you have to realize you know what? Because anything worthwhile is a lot of work and it's gonna be a little compromise So you'll have to the toothpaste cap back on you'll have to eat the red jelly beans yourself

Kristin (01:44)
Hmm. Mm-hmm.

And with that.

Yeah, like maybe swallow some things. think that's what, you know, Danny told me something like that one time. He's like, you know, my wife leaves cabinets and drawers open and instead of like creating another argument around it, I just started closing them.

Carlos Fernandez (02:13)
Yeah,

my very first long time relationship, I got a lot of flack from my friends for this, but basically we would argue every day, because I would just take off my shoes and throw them on the floor. And then it was like, okay, put the shoes away. I'm like, screw you, I pay half the rent. I can put the shoes wherever I want. How dare you tell me where to go? And this would go on for months. And then one day I realized if I put the shoes away, that's five ounces of energy.

argue takes about a hundred pounds. And all my friends got on me said, no, you got to stand up for your rights. And it's like, no, you got to pick and choose battles. And that's not what I play.

Kristin (02:43)
Mmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. Are there any like non-negotiables that you have though? Like I know that people, I feel like you're right. Like as far as people can be too picky or there's like so much readily at our fingertips or like, I can find someone else or.

Carlos Fernandez (02:58)
Mmm.

Hmm. No, I said

pretty even keel and go with the flow kind of thing. I guess anything that's illegal like child labor You can author I drop the line

Kristin (03:14)
Hahaha

Where

were you when I was a kid?

Carlos Fernandez (03:22)
Don't leave a mark. I don't know what to say. What's my safe word? Pineapple!

Kristin (03:28)
That just will give you a whole room of swingers. I know I was like Googling some questions like just in case and one of them was like, you know, what emoji represents your dating life or something like that. I was like, well, not a pineapple.

Carlos Fernandez (03:44)
Yeah. Well, I see the restaurant we used it all the time because it was a sign of hospitality. That's like you might see it on like some southern porch, you know, on either side of the gables when you walk in or somebody's living room is supposed to be a symbol of hospitality. I bet that's because they were just so expensive, you know, back in the day that it was, you know, prosperity, hospitality.

Kristin (03:49)
Mmm.

okay. Well, I mean, I guess they're...

really?

I didn't realize that. I didn't know that little piece. Okay. no, you're good. And now I guess if it's upside down, then that's another symbol of hospitality.

Carlos Fernandez (04:14)
What? Go ahead.

You

Well, let me give you a little chef trivia since we're all in the subject of pineapple. You know how a pineapple is ripe and ready to cut? You grab one of the center leaves and if it pulls out real easily, you know it's ready to cut. And that's how you cut it. Yeah, some people smell, some people thumb, I just pull.

Kristin (04:26)
Yeah. No.

No, I didn't know. didn't know if you're like there's some weird way to smell it.

okay. I like that. Let's talk about, mean, since you mentioned chef, I'm like, I'd love to know some ingredients or what you think is like a secret sauce for love or relationships in general.

Carlos Fernandez (04:55)
this is an old sauce, but I've seen it come and go in the cooking world. The Green Goddess, have you ever heard of the Green Goddess? Yeah, with the tarragon and the parsley all blended up, creamy and smooth in the blender. And it's fully emulsified so it lasts for a good week and a half in the fridge. And it's distinctive. But the thing is, don't get too carried away with the tarragon, because then it becomes too licorice.

Kristin (05:04)
Ooh, yes.

Carlos Fernandez (05:23)
and it just becomes too overpowering.

Kristin (05:27)
Is that a matter of-

Carlos Fernandez (05:27)
But I'm a big

grill guy, I love to grill anything, everything and anything. Like if you were coming over right now, first, well, I would take oysters, brush them with a little garlic butter and place them on the grill. And as soon as it starts to bubble on the edges, I would take it off and serve that. And while we're having those, I grill some marinated beef tenderloin and lobster tails that I've skewered so they won't curl while they're cooking.

Kristin (05:31)
Yeah, what would you make?

Mmm.

my goodness.

Carlos Fernandez (05:55)
Mm-hmm, and then you want to know for dessert what I would do? Get finest peaches because my peaches are from Georgia You cut those in half take the pit out and brush them with a little of brown sugar Then you them on the grill to take a char mushy and while they're still warm serve it ala mode with vanilla ice cream that would be to me

Kristin (05:58)
course.

Mmm. Mmm!

Yum!

Carlos Fernandez (06:21)
Heavy on the proteins, because carbs are the devil. And carbs are not the devil. The reality is, if you get off the sofa, carbs are not bad. It's the sour cream and the butter that you put on the potato. It's not the potato itself, because the skin has tons of nutrients. So it's about finding that balance.

Kristin (06:29)
Yeah.

Yeah, but I like my potato with everything. I'm like, if I'm going full tilt, my favorite baked potato, it's probably twice baked. And then, but I like all the things like sour cream, cheese, bacon, maybe one of the green chives. Yeah, either one. Yum, so much yum. I think that's it. Yeah, maybe a little red. I mean, I would do red onion too, but.

Carlos Fernandez (06:40)
All right, tell me.

Me too.

Yeah, chives or green onions, I'll take either or. Mm-hmm.

Well, when I was in school, I did baked potatoes a lot, because you could do it with chicken and cheese. Then you can do it with bacon and tomato. And you're only limited by your imagination. That's what I told everybody in the kitchen. think that's why people really responded well to my restaurant, because I'm like, you're only limited by your imagination. It's not like baking where everything has to be precise. Cooking should come from the soul. And I just really wish that lot more families would cook together, or at least eat together, because, you know,

Kristin (07:11)
Hmm.

I love that.

Hmm... Mm-hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (07:33)
This one goes out for this one. This one has a special dietary need. And so everybody's so separated that as a family, they become separated.

Kristin (07:40)
Yeah, it's a good like time to come together. I think for the most part I did do dinners with my family. I think. I love what you said though, only limited by our imagination. I think that applies to so much. You know, I think I said that when I was working or trying to sling some BMWs too. I was like, what can I do with this? I'm like, well, really you're only limited by your imagination.

Carlos Fernandez (07:56)
Yeah.

If I have it's like well, I didn't see it on the computer. It's like listen, honey. If you pay for it, they'll do it

Kristin (08:09)
Yeah, if you got enough Vengemins, they'll be able to do so much. What were you saying?

Carlos Fernandez (08:18)
for you I have one of those that's like my favorite thing to do like at a dinner party or cocktail party because sometimes I don't know what I don't want to know what you do for work I want to get inside your psyche kind of if you had the ability to time travel would you like to visit the past or visit the future

Kristin (08:19)
Okay, shoot, fire away.

No.

Well, you know, if I'm time travel, I think, you know, I think maybe the future because then can come back because you can come back and implement some of those things. And like right now I could time travel by going to read some history books or watch some things or videos. It's like I can in essence do that. And in some ways, like when I visualize, am feeling like if I see it as a memory that's already happening, it will be more likely to come true or manifest in my life.

when I'm looking to the future. yeah, it just feels maybe something about the Jetsons has always called me to.

Carlos Fernandez (09:16)
and why don't we have flying cars like the Jetsons? And I'm like, we do already, they're called helicopters, get with it.

Kristin (09:22)
And they make me so nervous. What would you do?

Carlos Fernandez (09:25)
Well, I'm the same way because I can always read about the past, but literature is still unknown. The only reason I would go into the past is maybe perhaps to see if history recorded it properly. Because, you know, the history and it may not be the complete story. That's why I wear a hat so nobody can see.

Kristin (09:29)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

That's a good point. That's a good point. Well,

you go one direction, I'll go the other and we'll come back and meet in the middle.

Carlos Fernandez (09:51)
Well,

to today's science, time travel to the future is already a thing, but you have to travel near the speed of light. So when you're traveling near the speed of light, time slows down. So let's say I travel for a year at the speed of light, by the time I come back to Earth, everybody's already dead, and it's already traveling to the future.

Kristin (09:59)
Yeah.

mmm

Hmm. It's kind of

like the quantum, like yeah, everything is like happening right now in the present moment. Hmm. It's very true.

Carlos Fernandez (10:29)
Well, let me share

my journey. So my journey was engineering student at Stevens Institute of Technology, second only to MIT. By the third year, I was going to class with a Pepsi can full of vodka just to get a chance. So then I left school and started working in restaurants. Ended up falling in love with it, had my own place, did really well, knock on wood. Then I sold the place and then I got into automotive marketing, which is where I met you, my lovely.

Kristin (10:37)
Wow.

Mm-hmm.

No.

Carlos Fernandez (10:58)
yeah.

What I wanna tell folks is stop looking at the door that's complaining and bitch that the door closed and just turn your head and look to see which door is open. Because we're not f***ing and managing and having the restaurant. If you told me I'd be selling cars like Vanna White, I would not believe you. Yeah, I'd go to Vanna. Right this way?

Kristin (11:05)
Mmm.

Yeah.

You're the best damn Vanna White. No, I'm curious. So when you went on Top Chef, was that, did you already have your place?

Carlos Fernandez (11:30)
No, so I sent in an audition tape, a little bit of my house, a little bit of the restaurant, a little flambé, best coat, know, the whole don't spiel. And I just felt like it wasn't enough. And surely it wasn't because subsequently I found out that 12,000 applicants had applied for 12 positions. Yeah, so I found out that they were having an open casting call in Chicago. So I have a friend there. So can I sleep on your couch? She's like, absolutely. So I went up there for the day, just for the day, just had to get back to work.

Kristin (11:36)
Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Carlos Fernandez (12:00)
and I stand in line outside in the freezing cold of Chicago for a couple of hours. Once I get inside, I make a beeline for the bathroom, wash my hands with warm water so when I give a handshake, it's a good fakey asses. And I brought up my portfolio with me, because I was really camera shy, believe it or not. So they could stare at the portfolio while we're talking, so I don't have to make that eye contact. And they were like, well, we really like your style. We like to put you on film. Can you come back tomorrow? And I was like,

I came out today specifically just through this. They were like, well, come to the hotel room tonight and we'll put you on film. This way you can catch your flight in the morning. I'm like, I ran around downtown like Rocky. You know, when he runs up the stairs and he's like, I was like, so I was like a cloud nine. I mean, you couldn't, you couldn't bring me at all. So I get to the hotel about three or four hours later and these big double doors open in a suite.

Kristin (12:48)
yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (12:56)
and I see all the camera equipment and the lights and scaffolding and the whole thing and the first thing out of my mouth, I'm missing a beat, go, if this is a chef gone wild thing, I hope you're just gonna work. They laughed so hard that after that, I had the medium of the paw in my hand.

Kristin (13:11)
I it.

Carlos Fernandez (13:13)
that there were certain people at home that said, can't do that. I tell you, nothing is more a... ...for me than you can't. I don't know... I'm an immigrant, we can't just come to survive and to supersede, not to give up.

Kristin (13:20)
Mmmmm

Mm-hmm, same.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, it's like a lot of what is a lighter and gasoline. If you want to light my fire, tell me I can't do it. And I love what you said, too, about the doors and like looking at the opportunities instead of what closed. You know, that reminds me of something my mom said one time. She's like, when one door closes, another opens, it just might be hell in the hallway for a little bit. But I'm so curious, like you said you were camera shy and you just to me, like always radiate such confidence. Did you?

Carlos Fernandez (13:39)
Yeah.

Kristin (14:01)
Fake it till you make it or like what's your?

Carlos Fernandez (14:03)
Well, I really have to thank Tom Schaaf for that little homage. And because I remember the very first show, the camera was just focusing on my hands, on my chopping skills. And I freaked out and I ran to the storage room and pretended I was getting something. So having the camera in my face for 24 hours, I don't recommend it for everybody. It's like taking your child and throw him in the pool and saying swim from that field. But I'll tell you, it absolutely worked. And then after that, I got a little job with Telemundo.

Kristin (14:06)
Okay.

Yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (14:33)
and then with 7UP and someone along the way hired Ketchum, one of the greatest marketing companies out there. And they gave me a person who told me how to stay on focus, to stay on message, how to bring the conversation back to message, and that was worth its in gold without a

Kristin (14:47)
only.

Hmm.

And do you, so I get, I've seen you do that like, in conversations with people when you're like bringing it back to like a BMW too. And maybe I'll do that here whenever I get sidetracked. Just bring that conversation back.

Carlos Fernandez (15:09)
I'll tell you, one of the most liberating things for me was not, believe it or not, that self-confidence boost that you're to speak in public, was my acceptance, well not acceptance, but understanding of nihilism. The fact that nothing really matters, the world spins, this rock is gonna go around the universe, where it's very arbitrary, so to speak. So after you get over the depression and the alcoholism that that brings,

Kristin (15:15)
Mm-hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (15:39)
If you can get over that hurdle, then you're actually free to make the decisions that are important to you, that are not influenced by society, by school, religion. Because sometimes we just ride the train making decisions that we were told to make. Let's realize in the grand scheme of things, nothing really matters. So I'm going to make choices that matter to me, my existence.

Kristin (15:51)
Yeah.

for sure.

Yeah, it's like, it has

its inherent meaning. It has the meaning that we assign to it or we want to can choose our path.

Carlos Fernandez (16:10)
And it's hard. mean this life is not easy, especially in these times. Everything is so unpredictable.

Kristin (16:17)
Yeah, unknown unfolding. How do you handle it?

Carlos Fernandez (16:23)
Well, that's a good question because I try to have these positive outlooks because depression and procrastination. So we've worked together many, who's always there five minutes ahead? Because he's scared to procrastinate or just makes you want to be alone. So that's how I try to battle, get out there in the world.

Kristin (16:29)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Bye.

Yeah, just counteract it with certain action.

Carlos Fernandez (16:51)
Yeah,

yeah, because it's easy. mean, especially the pandemic taught us all, and I'm sure we're all still suffering little, you know, PSTD from it. I wore a path from the sofa to the refrigerator. I was bored in my sofa because I had worn out the cushions. That's how bad it was.

Kristin (16:58)
Mm-hmm.

Hahaha

Could you flip them or did you have to get a whole new couch?

Carlos Fernandez (17:12)
I

haven't even counted down, but back then I just put a board under me. I like long romantic strolls where I can put my refrigerator forward.

Kristin (17:20)
You know,

I think I tried out a few new recipes during the pandemic for sure. Yeah, no, there's probably ways that we, it's probably impacted us that we haven't even uncovered for ourselves or like it's still so fresh in the grand scheme of things.

Carlos Fernandez (17:38)
But

I find that people did pick up some cooking skills in the pandemic. I know we have to support restaurants and industry and local, but let's face it, it gets a little pricey sometimes. So to have a couple of good skills at home is good too.

Kristin (17:41)
Mm-hmm.

What's one of the easiest skills that you can talk about?

Carlos Fernandez (17:59)
Well, I really believe in a thing called the mise en place. It's French for keep your mess in place, basically. When you watch those cooking shows, know, the onions chopped, the beef weighed out, everything's like... Yeah, so when you see everything chopped up, that means they have their mise en place, everything in place.

Kristin (18:03)
What is that?

Okay.

Mmm.

Carlos Fernandez (18:26)
That makes it a lot easier because if you're gonna read the recipe Chop onion. Okay. I'm gonna chop the onion go back to the recipe of quarter to you're gonna waste a lot of time so if you all your ingredients find up and ready to go you just go down the recipe to make sure life a lot simple Have your me some plus say with me nice Plus It's like plus with an a so plus me some plus

Kristin (18:37)
Okay.

Noted.

me sound plus plus or plus me plus me

sound plus

Carlos Fernandez (18:58)
And I'm sure I'm gonna get a lot of comments saying, that's not how you pronounce it. Well, damn it, we're trying.

Kristin (19:05)
It's more important than I take away the learning or the teaching from it. I'm curious, like I got these like questions crafted for like dating or love life type of stuff. And I'm like, yes, two single people getting together to talk about love and relationships. Have you? What now? kids.

Carlos Fernandez (19:09)
it.

talking about kids too.

Kristin (19:30)
one he's in his crate sleeping.

Carlos Fernandez (19:33)
Yeah, I've been giving it a lot of thought about that because I was like it's been three years since I had to train Lou and I forgot to tell you lots of treats You sit down you get it when I tell you to sit down you sit you get a treat When I tell you to come and you come you get a treat, you know Constantly reassuring them because he's young

Kristin (19:41)
Mmm, okay.

He's very,

yeah, and he's very food motivated like me. Like, yeah. Oh, I didn't hear you. What'd you say?

Carlos Fernandez (19:54)
Yeah.

We live, we eat, don't eat.

I said, we live to eat, not eat to live.

Kristin (20:05)
Yes, I love it. food is like, what?

Carlos Fernandez (20:07)
So

what if you were on a deserted island? no, no, let's make it little darker. Yeah, darker than being alone on an island. Prostitution, blackmail, prison.

Kristin (20:14)
Prison meal? No,

Last prison meal. I've got it. I've thought about this one before. Medium rare ribeye, fried chicken, some mashed potatoes because sometimes I like to dip the fried chicken in mashed potatoes. I mean, maybe just like a kale or arugula salad just for like some kind of green.

Carlos Fernandez (20:27)
Mmm.

Agreed, a thousand percent, because of bust and the mash.

Kristin (20:40)
But I'm really, let's see, gonna bring it on home with some banana pudding or banana cream pie, something like that.

Carlos Fernandez (20:47)
vanilla wafers in them? question is, what crime did you commit to get on Death Row?

Kristin (20:48)
Yeah. And then maybe a piece of dark chocolate.

A crime of passion, of course.

Carlos Fernandez (21:03)
Do you ever hear real funny story?

Kristin (21:04)
Yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (21:06)
My ex, I had an ex from Texas, yeah. All my exes are in Texas. And he had never dated Latino before. And I'm like, yeah, you gotta be aware, because we're very passionate. Some might even say volatile, you know? So just be aware. And you know, we've gotten to spats and scrimmages along the 17 years, but then it, like everything, it ended. And we're on good terms now.

Kristin (21:09)
No.

Carlos Fernandez (21:34)
But now he's dating other Latinos that aren't as aglified as I am. Others that didn't assimilate to society as quickly, let's say that. And he goes, my God, I didn't realize how good I had it. I'm like, yeah, motherfucker. You had it real good.

Kristin (21:50)
Does it feel good to have that admitted?

No, I remember that quote you gave me and we can always cut this out if you don't want it. But it was, I went from having a husband to a friend to a roommate to a dependent.

Carlos Fernandez (22:10)
No, leave it in, screw it. I want to explain about my taxes and my account.

I'm like, come on, man. I need to cut.

Kristin (22:20)
Yeah.

Can I claim Boudreaux?

Carlos Fernandez (22:25)
And speaking of which, do you do your taxes yet, Missy?

Kristin (22:28)
No, I haven't. I need to. It's on my schedule to do it like towards the end of this week or Monday. Have you done yours?

Carlos Fernandez (22:35)
Okay.

I had this great account, God rest his soul. He was from New York, but he would come down to Florida and would take care of a couple of restaurants down here. And he goes, remember Carlos, you can screw over your name, screw over your employee, you can never screw over Uncle Sam.

Kristin (22:54)
No comment.

Yeah, well, because this go-round, we worked in a bunch of different states. So I think now don't we have to claim like every state we worked in?

Carlos Fernandez (23:08)
Correct, there'll be a return for some states can go together, some don't. Some have be electronic, some have to be actually mailed in a check or pay online. Basically you can't do electronically. Usually your accountant takes care of everything, so you're just gonna have to finagle that. I really believe that there should be, I mean if we have TurboTax and Inuit tax, why doesn't the federal government have a program that you can just punch in?

Kristin (23:18)
Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (23:35)
like it would be so much simpler. But hey, we're in the business of cutting, not adding, nowadays. So let's see how.

Kristin (23:42)
God.

Carlos Fernandez (23:44)
political.

Kristin (23:45)
we go in there? yeah, Turbo Tax is my accountant.

Carlos Fernandez (23:50)
I mean it puts the hands

Kristin (23:53)
Yeah, right now anyway. Although some of my write-offs might be a little questionable. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense to me. I would write this off. This is definitely a business expense. I'm curious. So I have a few questions. Have you ever been ghosted before or have you ever ghosted someone?

Carlos Fernandez (24:01)
What the hell?

I have ghosted a friend, but not a-

Kristin (24:23)
Okay.

was there a scenario?

Carlos Fernandez (24:26)
The friend

was helping for over six years and just kept making the same mistakes over and over. And I said, okay, the only person that can change you is, and God bless you on your journeys, but I can't be a anymore. Now has anybody ghosted me? I don't know.

Kristin (24:34)
Mm.

Mmm.

You know, I

think it's a pretty potent topic though too of like knowing when or even a friendship has run its course and when to cut ties or if it's not or if it's like draining, too draining. Like I have, you know, one person comes to mind and like I really I like I love them as a person but I find that I tend to like hanging out when we're doing things that doesn't require talking because it's like only negative shit comes out of their mouth. I'm like, ugh, it's just.

Carlos Fernandez (25:21)
problem with my friend. Not only was it negativity all the time, but it was all about them. was never like how, like, well, know, see, this has to be like a given thing, kind of like.

Kristin (25:26)
Hey.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'm mutually beneficial. I'm all about the mutually beneficial.

Carlos Fernandez (25:40)
That's another question, another question, another question.

Kristin (25:42)
Okay, let's see here. I have a ton. Okay, this one that said, had a relationship that looked great on the menu but gave you food poisoning?

Carlos Fernandez (25:52)
my goodness, the last one. because, okay, I was the reactionary Latino, but I'm marrying a very volatile Virgo. So it's like the same thing as being a Latino, but Caucasian. So I said, okay, the next person I'm gonna date is gonna be reserved, uptight, and the polar opposite. Big mistake.

Kristin (25:55)
Ooh.

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (26:20)
just ask for

small increments of change. Never like these 180s because it was a disaster. Because they were so tight-lipped, they didn't communicate. I never knew what was going on. And actually, I got dumped two days before Christmas by this person for no reason, like a teenager. And I almost fell into the trap of like, what was it? Was it me? Well, obviously it was me. Because it was me.

Kristin (26:30)
Mmm.

Wow.

Carlos Fernandez (26:52)
But I decided not to drive myself crazy. Yeah, shit, thank God I didn't spend a lot on his.

Kristin (26:53)
Maybe he just didn't want to get a Christmas gift.

You know, think people sometimes question that, oh, should I get them something from Valentine's or X, Y, how long is the, what should we get versus how many months we've dated?

Carlos Fernandez (27:13)
Well, it's kind of hard too, because I believe that we live in this world of like commercialism. And I understand it. Capitalism makes the world go round. Everybody needs a job. Everybody needs a paycheck. But St. Valentine's Day, those were letters that he was writing to his parishioners, not to his lover or anything. Santa Claus, know, kind of like revitalized by Coca-Cola in the 50s from a story of St. Nick that used to provide dowries for girls that couldn't get married. So, you know, it's...

Kristin (27:20)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (27:43)
I don't

Kristin (27:45)
Maybe that's what's wrong.

Carlos Fernandez (27:46)
Like birthdays,

we're celebrating a day we don't even remember. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Think of it. Marriages were an agreement and not for love for thousands and thousands of years.

Kristin (27:48)
Maybe my parents need to come up with a dowry. No, I'm kidding.

Yeah.

I saw this video the other day. It said if you marry for money and you love money, you're marrying for love.

Carlos Fernandez (28:07)
Well, I heard the one that was, you marry the first time for love, the second time for money, the third time for companionship.

Kristin (28:17)
I haven't even had the first one yet. Yeah, I got close a couple of times, I think once or twice. Okay. What's the weirdest thing you've ever done post breakup and there's not much judgment. Yeah, weirdest or worst or…

Carlos Fernandez (28:18)
Kick cracker lackey.

you

The weirdest thing after break up?

Well, I don't know. mean, taking this automotive marketing job was, I would say, like the weirdest thing because now I'm okay with it. But at the beginning, I didn't realize that I was using it as an escape. Oh, I just got divorced, just sold my house. You know, what am I going to do now? Oh, well, let's just travel. Let's just travel and avoid things. Which makes it hard because it's hard to start a new relationship when you travel for a living.

Kristin (28:59)
Mmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (29:15)
as many people out there can attest to. And it's hard to keep friendships, you know, because your friends are inviting you places and then you can't go because you're actually not physically in town. So now I think I found the balance with working and dating and traveling and friends and then the whole thing. But yeah, it didn't dawn on me until years later, that's what I did. I took the job to run, run as fast as I can. In the middle of nowhere.

Kristin (29:24)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

yeah. I mean, that's what I'm

still working on turning my Nikes into slippers. Now it's like, you mean wherever I go, there I am.

Carlos Fernandez (29:44)
Yeah.

Yeah, there's so many songs about it. Yeah,

if we use a song, do we have to pay a royalty? Is that how that works? Okay, so I won't sing. No, not yet. Anyway. Yeah, so what if it's like your 70th show? Then I would have done it like that, I guess.

Kristin (29:58)
think so. Yeah. We don't have much budget for songs. Not yet. It is. Yeah. You were this close to being a 69.

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, it's a lot of work, but I've loved it. Yes, yeah, you just said that and that's such a good reminder what the new puppy with the relationships with life and just going towards what we want or relationships I feel like in general.

Carlos Fernandez (30:17)
Congratulations, that's a great number. Yeah, well, anything worthwhile, right sister?

Right, and any person that's been really successful in life will tell you not to be afraid of failure, because they failed a thousand times. Failure is where you learn, and that's where you grow. People that want everything perfect all the time, it doesn't make any sense, because you would never be able to appreciate it because you don't know the flip side. Like the Japanese are my favorite. They revere mistakes. Like, I revere this because it's an opportunity to learn something and to correct something.

Kristin (30:49)
Okay.

Mmm.

Yeah, someone asked me a question the other day.

Yeah, they're like, if you knew you were only, you know, 10 or 12 failures away from like your biggest success, like how much more wildly would you be taking chances or wanting to fail or do something like that? I was like, when you look at it like that.

Carlos Fernandez (31:14)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because what stuck with me with the restaurant, with the top chef thing, even with the automotive marketing was like, if I don't try, I'll never know. And I just couldn't live with that liger lingering. I'd rather have tried and failed or the same thing with love. I'd rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And I know these are cliches, but it's true because it reminds me of one movie. I can't remember what the name of the movie was, but it was really

Kristin (31:19)
Mm-hmm

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (31:43)
important and pivotal to me because the mother is asking the dying son, did you love? goes, mom, not only did I love, I was loved. And I think just to have that acknowledgement, even if it's not, cause you know what? What's the best case scenario? You both die together, everybody's gonna die.

Kristin (31:51)
Hmm. Hmm.

Yeah.

And most of times you die separately.

Carlos Fernandez (32:06)
Yeah,

exactly. You're born separately, chances are you're gonna die separately. So, I mean, even if you are on good terms and happy, nothing lasts forever. So take those moments that you do have, enjoy them and cherish them and never let them make you jaded or bitter or jealous, because jealousy is a big thing. I see it now, you know, with YouTube and TikTok and Facebook and Instagram, everybody's comparing their lives to these filtered fantasies.

Kristin (32:09)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Bye!

Carlos Fernandez (32:34)
and it's no way to live.

Kristin (32:36)
Yeah, I think that's super curated too a lot of times. Yeah, you know, even if it's like more authentic takes of life, still, it's still kind of... Just one little light.

Carlos Fernandez (32:39)
Of course!

See this is what real person looks like, no filters.

Kristin (32:54)
I love non-filtered conversations and takes and just insights. It's so true. I'd rather... I love having loved and I'm open to finding it again for sure. Yeah. And moving from love and not for love has been like a big part of my intentionality now. It's like, okay.

Carlos Fernandez (33:07)
Exactly.

And don't put an expiration date on it, because I was starting

to do that. I was like, well, you know what? Been around, done it, loved it, enjoyed it, got the memories, kept the t-shirt. But then recently I took a cruise, which I never cruise. I'm not a cruise kind of person. But then I met these folks. I'm like, how long, older couples. how long have you guys been together? 30, 40 years? Like, no, we've only been together seven. So it's like, you know what? It's never too late. Go out there, find, dance, drink, laugh, love.

Kristin (33:38)
Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Sure.

That's true. You know, my mom's boyfriend is like 20 years older than her. And so he's like 85. I they met I think like 10 years ago or something. mean, 10 or 15. But yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (33:50)
God bless.

All right.

And how did they meet, you know?

Kristin (33:58)
Dancing.

Carlos Fernandez (34:00)
Perfect. I think

I might try Saturday night at the frozen food aisle. See how that works.

I'll probably be like hanging around Amy's because I want to pretend like I'm healthy and conscious and stuff. my god look at Amy's burrito. It's on sale $4.99.

Kristin (34:17)
Why don't we just blow

this joint and go to Ginny's?

Carlos Fernandez (34:20)
Yeah

Kristin (34:23)
think, yeah, grocery store. Okay, yeah. Yeah, what are your thoughts on meeting in the wild versus meeting on an app?

Carlos Fernandez (34:30)
It's almost impossible. It's kind of like the rare sighting of the unicorn or the white rhino. People feel more comfortable through the app. know, and so I just don't see any way around it. But yeah, if you can get a friend to introduce you to another friend or meet somebody out in the wild, that's the most organic way. But some people need that confidence of talking through a device.

Kristin (34:32)
Hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (34:59)
before they have enough gumption to... Yeah.

Kristin (34:59)
Mm. To just go up to them. I mean, I was at the airport a couple weeks ago and I saw someone that was like super attractive, no ring. I was like, damn, I really want him to come up to me. Now I'm like, I should have just gone up and said something, but I don't know what I would have said.

Carlos Fernandez (35:17)
what is it, the bend and snap? Just drop your water bottle? I dropped my water bottle! But unfortunately...

Kristin (35:19)
Do you need a pen

filling out your immigration form?

Carlos Fernandez (35:26)
You'd like, unfortunately, you'd be like Jennifer Coolidge and accidentally hit him. Me too.

Kristin (35:32)
I love her. I saw a quote of hers the other day

that said something about like she once pretended that she had a twin just so that she could date two guys at the same time.

Carlos Fernandez (35:42)
Brilliant. She was one of my guest judges on Top Chef. Yes, I think episode four, I think we got to meet her or something like that. Yeah, she is just as cool as she looks.

Kristin (35:46)
really?

Cool!

I don't know

if she's ever been married or had kids. I went in kind of a rabbit hole after watching White Lotus the other day. She was cute. What'd she say about your dish? Do remember? I said, what'd she say about your dish?

Carlos Fernandez (36:01)
Mm.

Hahaha

The what? it

was my cooking dish. yeah, it was a puff pastry and it's called milfoy because it has like a thousand layers in it. Mil being a thousand kind of thing. And she thought it was light and flaky and wonderful, but we didn't win. We were safe, but we didn't win. The one I won was my favorite. Yeah, if anybody wants to see it, I would save you the trouble.

Kristin (36:31)
I can rewatch all of your season.

Carlos Fernandez (36:39)
just look for season two, episode four, because I win the quick fire challenge and they give us a roll of quarters and say that we're going shopping. And I'm just like thinking of like, because they want us to do an appetizer. I'm trying to think of like different appetizers. I had no idea where they were leading us. They led us to vending machines. And with that roll of corners, we had to make an amuse bouche.

And mine was sensational. did a sunflower seed pate, which was just like killer. Yeah. And then I catch somebody cheating by putting sugar in diabetic children's cookies. And then two episodes later, I get sent home. So, but if you want to save your time, just look at episode four and that's like the Carlos highlight reel. Sorry, Hulu. I don't mean to take any sales away from you.

Kristin (37:06)
Hmm.

Damn.

Okay. I'll check it out.

I'll have to go check it out.

Carlos Fernandez (37:34)
Yeah, Carlos had black hair back then. And it's kind of funny, I think they were trying to model me into like the serious Latin lover. because there was another funny guy on the show, so they used his clips instead of mine, but mine were much funnier.

Kristin (37:37)
I saw.

Have you kept up with anybody from the show?

Carlos Fernandez (37:53)
Yeah, I have and as the years go by more and more of them drop off, but I just heard from Otto He was having a big birthday party in New Orleans. Did I say that right? No Orleans, no And I couldn't go but I wished him the best and really really sweet guy talk about a positive attitude Met the love of his life later on

Kristin (37:58)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

you

You'll be fun.

Carlos Fernandez (38:22)
beautiful Asian woman, happy married, happy five years, cancer. Take her away. And then a couple of months later, he loses his brother. And he still has a positive, good attitude, a good heart.

Kristin (38:29)
no.

No!

Mm-hmm.

And after getting hit so hard. Mm.

Carlos Fernandez (38:41)
Mm-hmm

But that's what makes the world go around think of it if everybody stayed alive this place would be a crowded witness

Kristin (38:49)
Yeah, I feel like the impermanence of it definitely gives, for me, it's probably what makes a lot of it beautiful.

Carlos Fernandez (38:57)
Exactly. this

is the other, I had another question for you, the what will you rather questions. Would you like to know when you are going to depart this earth?

Kristin (39:03)
yeah, tell me.

Hmm. That's tough because I feel like could argue either side.

Carlos Fernandez (39:15)
Yeah, I have friends

that say no because that's all they would think of and Then I have others that agree with me because my side is Yes, I would like to know because this way I can make a plan either I eat caviar for the next three months or Oatmeal for the next 60 days, you know what I mean? You want to make it to the end? You don't want to be out the streets, know

Kristin (39:19)
Yeah.

Yeah.

You

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I Yeah, I think I would choose to know when so that I would know exactly how much fire to light underneath my ass for what I wanted to finish. And yeah, finish, eat, connect with, say all the things. And maybe that's just a little, maybe say it now. I don't know. I don't know if I want to know how I go out.

Carlos Fernandez (39:51)
Exactly, exactly.

Exactly. I would just want to the date. Yeah.

Kristin (40:08)
Yeah, just the date. Yeah,

I'm not really afraid of death. I feel like I've had some interesting experiences with people that have died or crossed over that I'm like, I kind of believe in like an energy transference type of thing. But I don't, I'm more afraid of like the pain that may be associated with how I'm going to die.

Carlos Fernandez (40:29)
Well, nowadays they can manage all.

Kristin (40:32)
Yeah, yeah. Unless it's like a sudden, what if it's like a car thing or like what if, you know what mean? Or a murder.

Carlos Fernandez (40:40)
Well that always makes me laugh because you know

what a deer is thinking when the motorcycle is... I'm sorry I just messed up the joke. Let's start that again. Okay. Do you know what a deer is thinking when it sees those two headlights out in the middle of the road late at night? god, I hope those are two motorcycles.

Kristin (40:51)
Uh-uh.

Yeah,

maybe it just happened so quick that.

Carlos Fernandez (41:00)
I guess

sleep would be the best way. Yeah, same thing. Same thing. So what do you think happens to our energy?

Kristin (41:04)
Yeah, sleep are heavily medicated.

I think it transfers into like a round that we can't decipher usually with our five senses, right? Yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (41:20)
I agree, a different dimension because as

Einstein stated, energy cannot be destroyed, only converted.

Kristin (41:26)
Yeah,

yeah, or transfer. So I think that, yeah, that's just what kind of resonates for me. And maybe we go up and maybe we come back in another form. I don't know. But I've always kind of like, I feel like reincarnation kind of made sense to me from a young age. Yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (41:40)
Yeah, I agree. And

what convinced me was the stories of folks that have had transplants, a heart transplant or a kidney transplant. You know, this woman with two children and a husband has never been able to taste spicy food. She gets the heart transplant all the sudden, and she has a craving for peppers. And they find out that the donor

Kristin (42:02)
Mmm.

Carlos Fernandez (42:09)
was a big Chili fan. If there's muscle memory, there must be life memory as well.

Kristin (42:11)
Yeah, yeah,

like something encoded in our DNA. Yeah, right now I'm doing a training to do past life regressions. Have you ever done one of those?

Carlos Fernandez (42:17)
Yeah.

I've done it, but by myself actually and they were two. One was like an Indian, not a guru, but more like a yogi kind of guy. Very laid back, beautiful hair. And the other one was female in the South in the thirties, but she was a northerner that was transplanted down there with a rich husband and very unhappy.

Kristin (42:26)
cool.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Aww.

Carlos Fernandez (42:51)
But those are the images that came to me. Were they fantasy? Were they? Yeah. Yeah. A dark room, a lot of meditation.

Kristin (42:53)
Yeah, how did you do it by yourself? Like meditating or? Yeah, that's cool.

That's cool. had my therapist like guided, therapist slash spiritual guide I would say. She kind of does both like guided me through one. But I'm interested to do it again. I read this book that talks about it. me too. I've never done it. You know what to say when you do the diet prep.

Carlos Fernandez (43:13)
Yeah, absolutely. Hiawaska is the one I want to Yeah, with a guide and a tent and the whole thing. No eating before because I... Yeah,

yeah, because I feel once drugs, I'm not now. I'm not judging anybody. Please, no comments. If you like your substances, go right ahead. I am not judging. But when you lose...

Kristin (43:26)
where it's like straight.

Hehehehe

Carlos Fernandez (43:40)
I don't wanna say the religious aspect, but when you lose the structure of it, like a Hiawaska trip, like a shaman, like a religious purpose, and you're just doing recreationally, all you're doing is pleasing the pleasure center and not receiving anything else. So I think once you have the structure of the hot tent and the pre-diet and the shaman walking you through, you can actually come to some kind of realization or let go of something, whatever your goal is.

Kristin (43:46)
Mm.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Would you go into it with a certain question or would you kind of want it to be shown to you through the journey? Yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (44:16)
Yeah, shown to me almost.

Yeah, very much American Indian like we stare into the fire into the fire. Start showing you images.

Kristin (44:21)
Hmm, cool.

Hmm, that's cool. I've always loved like drum circles too. So would you go to like Peru or Costa Rica or?

Carlos Fernandez (44:31)
yeah, absolutely. And then you mentioned

the drum circles as well. Think how often drums or rhythmic movement has been used in societies. Gregorian chants. It turns you into a state. The Tibetans, all of them.

Kristin (44:46)
I love drums. There's just something about it that always is like, like maybe I was Native American in the past. Yeah, just love drumming. Yeah, I drummed, I don't know if I told you, I tell you that I drummed at the bottom of the pyramid. Yeah, it was really neat. we, night, so like night we,

Carlos Fernandez (44:52)
Maybing or African? Very primal. I love it.

I know you got some really cool tours, but with this day night twilight

Kristin (45:12)
crawled down into the subterranean chamber and then someone was like, I think we should do this with the lights off. And I was like, I had a moment of panic, like, is this going to be the time that this shit decides to crumble? And then we're just like drumming and the, you know, the guide is chanting and we just kind of like go on this journey. was pretty cool. Pretty trippy.

Carlos Fernandez (45:32)
And

did you feel like relaxed afterwards?

Kristin (45:35)
Afterwards, after we stopped and then the drumming stopped, it was just silent for a good bit. And yeah, it just felt like settled, more dropped into my body. It was just calm and peaceful. And then we climbed up and went into the King's Chamber and did kind of like a dying of ourselves ritual. We all laid in the sarcophagus. We like, what parts of ourselves do we want to die and what parts do we want to step out as or what body is there? We're leaving here.

Carlos Fernandez (46:03)
That's really cool. Now have you seen the latest on the pyramid where they found underneath? my goodness. I think it was like eight towers underneath and other rooms. So there's so much more to discover that we don't know about. Well, they did it through LIDAR. So they were able to get the images. Pardon?

Kristin (46:13)
That's crazy.

Ugh, I want to ask my guide about it. I think that'd be dope.

I don't even know what that is.

I said I barely know what that is.

Carlos Fernandez (46:31)
So they'll have these satellites that will go through, let's say, vegetation, trees through the jungle and into the ground to see what's there. Yes. So you don't have to fly over. You don't have to chop down bunches of forests. The reason I found out about it is they've been doing a lot of it in the Amazon. The first European to make it down

Kristin (46:41)
Wow. This is so dope.

Carlos Fernandez (46:59)
the Amazon River reported seeing millions of people, big cities, small cities, villages, the whole thing. But a hundred years later, when the next European goes through, doesn't see any of that. So they just thought he was a big fat liar. But now at the LiDAR, they were able to see all these settlements that were there. And so it was true that there were a million people, but unfortunately European diseases are faster than Europeans.

Kristin (47:11)
Hmm.

Wow.

Carlos Fernandez (47:26)
So by the time the second European went through 100 years later, everybody had been decimated. Yeah, because their culture was to take care of the sick and bring them inside. And then when you take care of the sick and don't quarantine, the whole family gets sick. So it was just the domino effect after that. Yeah, I'm gonna use this well trivia.

Kristin (47:30)
Wow.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Interesting.

Well, I love it. It's fascinating. Like learn different little things. The guide, Waleed, he told me he's like, there's so much still like buried in Egypt too. He's like, it's safer right now or more preserved to keep it underground versus, you know, where would they, I guess they don't have the funds or resources to store it properly.

Carlos Fernandez (48:07)
Exactly, and some

stuff is so delicate you expose it to air and it crumbles on you. Right in your hands.

Kristin (48:11)
Wow. Yeah. How do you think

the pyramids are built?

Carlos Fernandez (48:17)
The only theory that I found that actually has any weight for me was this crazy French engineer about 10 years ago. came up with, because when he went to go visit the pyramid itself on the inside, he found these strange rope marks with grease. So he believes that basically the four corners were kind of cut out so they could actually bring them

Kristin (48:36)
Hmm.

Carlos Fernandez (48:46)
the stones on the inside. That's the only way you can get millions of stones done in that period of time. He's been called crazy, but that's the only theory, because if you try to build a ramp, the ramp would be in the next country. mean, there's just no way you can have a slope that far. And we're talking, I mean, some stones are tons and tons. I think there's 20 million stones total.

Kristin (48:53)
Hmm.

I'm

Yeah, I I don't know how

many but I was it was, you know, one thing to like see it from afar, but then I was like, Whoa, this shit is massive.

Carlos Fernandez (49:16)
So I

believe there was a civilization before them and they, the ancient Egyptians just adopted the stuff that was there. For example, the Sphinx has water damage on it. Torrential rainstorms, that hasn't happened in like 12,000 years. So they just probably reshaped the head because the head is so small compared to the body. So I'm sure it was a bigger head and they reshaped it. Unfortunately, when you reshape it, you have to take some off.

Kristin (49:21)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Carlos Fernandez (49:46)
They have some vases and esophagus that are so perfectly manufactured and then they have this junkie almost graffiti like graffiti on the side. So that shows me that that was done by somebody else and the latest generations just put their stamp on it.

Kristin (50:07)
you

Carlos Fernandez (50:09)
Like in the New World, we have the old mechs that were before the Mayans and Incas. So, I think we've lost a lot.

Kristin (50:18)
Yeah, no, it's interesting. I'm like, was it aliens? Was it, yeah, another civilization? Yeah.

Carlos Fernandez (50:23)
I don't think we give ancient man enough credit.

because if you think about it, human beings have been developing for about two million years. We developed a voice box 200,000 years ago. So you're telling me that in 200,000 years, we couldn't figure out the stars, the moons, the pyramids? I just think that we don't give ancient man enough credit.

Kristin (50:35)
Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm. Yeah. Or maybe like there was some.

Carlos Fernandez (50:47)
Because

if you built something like that, it's a trade secret. And that's why it gets lost because I can't be telling everybody because then everybody will be building and then I'll be out of a job kind of thing. That's why you had the Freemasons, you know, to kind of keep those secrets in there, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah, they believe like the earliest Freemasons were the Egyptians, the trade men, the workers. Yeah, because they had to keep an economic society going, but they couldn't have all their secrets let out.

Kristin (50:51)
Mm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Interesting.

What are modern-day masons? Like what are they?

Carlos Fernandez (51:18)
I guess unions you could say, but there are still Freemasons out there.

Kristin (51:20)
Yeah.

Yeah, I know. think one of the guys in my book, I think he was a Mason or went to Mason something or another or I don't know. Yeah, just keeping an eyeball on whenever he comes out of prison.

Carlos Fernandez (51:29)
Mm-hmm.

ha ha ha

Just remember, I'm only gay for my stay. Did I ever tell you that story about the guy that gets thrown in jail? my God, it's so sad. He's like, well, the guy gets thrown in jail and he's really sad and his celly tries to like cheer him up. goes, hey man, do you like to work out? He goes, yeah, I like to work out. goes, man, we get two hours in the yard every day and we got like the most pristine gym. You're gonna like it.

Kristin (51:38)
You

Wait, what happened?

Carlos Fernandez (52:04)
How about spaghetti and meatballs? You like spaghetti and meatballs? goes, yeah, I like spaghetti and meatballs. He oh, Thursday night, all the spaghetti and meatballs you can eat. No matter, just eat it all. Oh, yeah, that's not so bad. He goes, how about butt sex? You like butt sex? He goes, no, I don't like butt sex. He goes, oh, you're gonna hate Sundays.

Kristin (52:17)
I'm

I was just thinking how like one of the guys that I dated that is my book that's in prison right now found love in prison. So that should give you hope. If he can find love in prison. No, So his wife was a teacher that went into the prison. I guess they fell in love and then she quit her job. They got married. So.

Carlos Fernandez (52:26)
So it's all about perspective.

With a pen pal or with a celly?

Man, it's just like they say, out of the deepest, ugliest, dirtiest mud, the most beautiful bloom, lotus flower can come out. Good for them. So may I ask, what did he go to the Huskow for?

Kristin (53:01)
I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.

for

aggravated assault. He basically shot at a police officer. That'll do it.

Carlos Fernandez (53:16)
Yeah, that'll do it. That'll

do it. Well, hopefully that beauty in her can tame the beast in him.

Kristin (53:23)
Yeah, he's done a full kind of turnaround, like doesn't even cuss anymore. I mean, on the street now.

Carlos Fernandez (53:30)
Yeah, see, and that's another focus

I wanted to get on, because you and I talk about stuff like this all the time. It's like, people have to stop being reactionary. You know, it's like, hey, what if I just take a second, God forbid, and analyze? No, everybody thinks that they're an actor in a movie and they have to react to everything. And it's like, no, you don't. Yeah, just take a second.

Kristin (53:40)
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, just take a second.

Carlos Fernandez (53:56)
I learned that with emails. goodness. I used to be like, I'm gonna, slurp, slurp. I'm like, take a breath. I'm sure they didn't write it the way you read it. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I'm sure they didn't write it the way you're reading it with a sarcastic tone on top.

Kristin (53:59)
off

If you're typing it at 2 a.m., you might want to wait.

you

I did that during tour one time. sent an email. I like, want them to know that I'm not sleeping. I sent them like two or three.

Carlos Fernandez (54:24)
Well, see, you and I are just the opposite.

I will draft the email at five o'clock and then send it at one o'clock so they think that I'm working 24 hours.

Kristin (54:32)
Yeah!

Carlos Fernandez (54:36)
But the thing that I do do, when I do do, ha, do do, when I make a draft, I won't put the recipient in. Because they can't send, because I've been known to accidentally send before checking. Mm-hmm.

Kristin (54:36)
you

Yeah, that's a good call. Yeah.

Yeah.

No, you gotta be careful about that.

Carlos Fernandez (54:55)
Mm-hmm.

What was the most embarrassing one you ever sent? Do you remember? I remember mine.

Kristin (54:58)
I don't know if I sent

an embarrassing email, just more heated. And that was definitely probably during the tour with that, with the manager. Yeah. The manager that wasn't a manager. That gave us all trauma bonds.

Carlos Fernandez (55:07)
Mmm. Yeah, mine was work related as well.

Yeah,

yeah, but you know, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Kristin (55:24)
yeah, it was a great story. mean, like I'm bonded with my other coworkers. Southeast, so Florida, Carolinas, Georgia. It was great. Chicago in the summertime, loved it. So we made our way up.

Carlos Fernandez (55:28)
What was your region?

Nice.

That's my new favorite area, the North Upstate they call it in South Carolina. So it's right by that North Carolina border. It doesn't get the humidity of Charleston and you get the change of seasons, but the snow never sticks in rolling hills. Cause that's one thing I miss about Florida. Florida is flat as black can be.

Kristin (55:49)
I will.

want this.

Yeah, I love the Carolinas. If they do tour again, you should totally do the Southeast region if you can. It's so cool. I'll come meet you in a city.

Carlos Fernandez (56:08)
Mm-hmm It would be interesting to see Dodge done.

Thanks for meeting me back in Austin. That was good. I love that place. I There's a road family really we spent more time with each other than with our own family

Kristin (56:17)
my God, I love being you. I've missed you guys so much. I know. I was like, seriously

sad. was like, damn, I really missed you. I felt so sad. And then, so I'm glad that you reached out and please keep doing it. And then I wanted to ask you one more question and then I'll let you go. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?

Carlos Fernandez (56:47)
As difficult as this may...

be to hear young little Carlito.

Don't let fear make you procrastinate more.

Kristin (57:05)
Mmm. That's so good.

Carlos Fernandez (57:08)
because it was not only the fear of failing, but in my case, it was the fear of succeeding as well. You know, it's like, oh, well, if I do it, then I have to continue doing it, because it's really strange. I remember being really young, and then when you're in school and they ask you, like, what do you want to be when you grow up? I would always write things like vice president, because I wanted all the power, but not before the buck stops, because I was afraid of that. So yeah, don't let fear make you procrastinate.

Kristin (57:17)
For sure.

Thank

Hmm. I kind of lean on, yeah, for the challenging moments. I love that this too shall pass. And that's kind of, yeah, it's like it'll pass no matter how challenging or heartbreaking or devastating it was, it always passed or ended. And then it also kind of makes me appreciate the good more. Like even that will pass too.

Carlos Fernandez (57:37)
Say what would you say to yours?

Right.

Yes.

And that's the perfect way to end the podcast because I like to apologize to anybody who was bored by us gabbing. This soon shall pass too.

Kristin (58:15)
I think we're entertaining AF.

Carlos Fernandez (58:18)
I agree, love

talking to you and I love your energy and I want to continue success for you and your puppy and have fun.

Kristin (58:23)
Yes! I love you so much.