Sex, Drugs, & Soul

109. Why Do You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners? | Genell Gorman

Kristin Birdwell Season 5 Episode 1

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0:00 | 1:00:48

Your childhood doesn’t disappear when you start dating...it gets activated.

In this episode of Sex, Drugs, & Soul, I am joined by attachment and relational healing coach Genell Gorman for a candid, unscripted conversation focused on mother wounds, father wounds, attachment styles, CPTSD, and how early emotional experiences shape adult relationships.

Together, we explore...
 • The “oh sh*t” moment when you realize your dating patterns mirror childhood wounds
 • How emotionally unavailable parents create anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles
 • Trauma bonding vs. genuine chemistry
 • Why chaos can be mistaken for love and how to break that cycle
 • Healing without becoming emotionally armored or hyper-independent
 • Whether you need to “heal first” or if heal occurs through relationships
 • Reparenting, nervous system regulation, and reclaiming your personal power

This episode is for anyone navigating dating, intimacy, or healing, who is tired of repeating the same story and ready to choose love from a place regulation rather than longing.

Timestamps:
00:00 Intro & grounding
02:20 The “oh sh*t” moment — childhood shaping adult love
05:50 Father wounds & emotionally unavailable partners
09:40 Loss, abandonment, & nervous system imprinting
13:20 Trauma bonding &  attraction to unavailable partners
17:30 CPTSD, codependency, & self-abandonment
22:00 Anxious vs. avoidant dynamics
27:30 Isolation, hyper-independence, & fears of intimacy
32:00 Chemistry vs slow-burn safety
36:00 Chaos does not equal love
41:00 Cutting off parents vs. establishing boundaries & compassion
47:30 Inner child healing & reparenting
51:30 Can relationships heal us?
55:00 Final reflections & encouragement

Connect with Genell:
https://www.genellgorman.com/
https://www.instagram.com/genell.gorman/

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

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