Fun, Play, and Building a Business That Actually Feels Good with Steph DragonHeart Benedetto

What if having more fun at work could actually help your business thrive? Steph DragonHeart Benedetto’s here to challenge the idea that play and productivity are opposites, and prove that a playful mindset can spark real results.

In this episode:
0:00 Why we think play + productivity can’t mix (and what happens when they do)
2:26 How to redefine play so it fits your business and your personality
5:35 Choosing the “game” you want to play in your business
7:59 Why less pushing and stressing can actually make you more productive
10:28 Simple ways to spot opportunities for play, even if it doesn’t come naturally

The extended episode with a live Q&A for Playhouse members includes:

• What “premature practicality” is and why it kills big idea
• Whether you should focus on strategy before play if money’s tight
• How to experiment with play in your work without feeling silly

Hang out with Steph:
https://www.theawakenedbusiness.com
https://www.theawakenedbusiness.com/wildspire
https://www.dragonheartquest.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanierbenedetto
https://www.youtube.com/@StephBenedetto

Hang out with Deanna:
https://deannaseymour.com
https://instagram.com/thedeannaseymour

🪩 Listen to the extended version when you join us inside The Playhouse + Get your first month for just $10 with the coupon code PODCAST
https://jointheplayhouse.com 

And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with a friend! It really helps us grow and keep the good vibes coming!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Welcome to the Playhouse Podcast, where we hang out with the brilliant business owners inside the Playhouse that make this community so awesome. I'm your host, Deanna Seymour, graphic designer and founder of The Playhouse. Today I'm talking with Steph Dragonheart Benedetto about why play isn't the opposite of productivity and how redefining what play even means can change the way you run your business. Steph's a creative catalyst, coach, storyteller, and self-proclaimed lovable geek who is inappropriately joyful. She's the owner of The Awakened Business, where she helps visionary entrepreneurs and artists awaken their creative fire and bring their soul-led projects to life. There's an extended version of this interview available just for members of the Playhouse where we dive into what premature practicality is and how it quietly kills your biggest ideas before they get a chance. Whether you should focus on strategy before play if your business isn't making enough money yet. The ridiculous out-of-the-box move that ended up opening doors Steph never expected. Unlock that extra content when you become a member at jointheplayhouse.com. All right, let's get started. Steph, how's it going? It's amazing. Very excited to see Deanna. Same. I haven't seen you in a little bit. I was like, ah, so excited when I saw you pop into the Zoom room. Okay. I'm so excited about your topic today. So let's just dive in. But let's play.

unknown 1:41

I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

And usually I like jump right in and like go for it. But I was like, you know what, with this topic, I think I want to define how do you define play. I'm pretending I'm Brene Brown right now because I feel like it's a good idea to make sure everybody listening knows what do you mean by it? Because some people might define it differently. So let's give me your definition of what you're talking about when you talk about play.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

So I think I do speak about play differently than most people because I see play as the way you show up to life. When you show up to life like it's an adventure, like what you're doing is a game that you know, maybe you really, you really want to win. You certainly want to play it. Maybe you want to win, whatever that means to you, but you know it's a game, so you're not taking it so seriously. So it's like the kind of play that I mean is like when you're when you're really in. You know, it's not frivolous. So I I think that's like a lot of people think of play as something that's defined by certain activities. Like when I do this, I'm playing. When I play board games, when I play chess, when I'm um wrestling on the floor with my kids, when I'm playing with my dog, like that's play, right? When I'm uh whatever your your preferred play of choices, right? I'm talking about it in a way that you can do that with anything. And that's what I that's that's what I'm talking about. And often it it has that spirit of play to it, but it's not about what you're doing, it's what you're bringing to it.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Ooh, okay. So this, I was like gonna be like, oh, it's a verb, but I was like, wait, they're all verbs. Everything you just said is a verb. But it's more like a mindset, I guess, than an activity. Like you're saying, like people think of play as like, I'm gonna start painting more. I'm going to put aside extra time. You're also, I think one thing you said, and tell me, you can tell I've been to a lot of counseling. I'm like, tell me if this is what you just said, this is what I heard, that you can weave it into things you're already doing. But most people think of play as like an extracurricular activity. Like, I'm gonna do the real stuff, and then I can play. And you're saying play can be mixed into everything.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Yes, it can anything can be play. Like, there are some very strange people. I hope they're not listening and watching right now, but I'll say it anyway, who like really have fun with bookkeeping and accounting and things like like they but they love it. Watch them play, like they will play with those numbers. And to me, I'm like, are you kidding? But it's possible. If I wanted to, I could, I could find what's Stephanie's way to play with this. You know, it's available.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Okay, I love that. And also, I love what you said too about playing and maybe wanting to win, because I myself, like, I'm not that competitive. I feel like my sister was always competitive growing up, and I was like, ew. And so I try really hard, like not to be competitive. But I think a lot of times when we think of play, especially in relation to business, which I think we're gonna get into, but like, oh, that's that's cute, but like I wanna do something real. But if you think about play in a competitive sense, like it's it's already kind of a game, you know what I mean? Does that make sense?

unknown 4:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

Okay. Well, I would ask people what game of business they're playing, because there are a lot of different games you can play inside of business. Like, there's how do you make it up? Is that the way you want to play it? You know, so you can make it up with competition and I'm gonna win, I'm gonna beat the competition, or you can make it up that winning is having the most fun. Or winning is an inviting. Right, exactly. Like who who says it has to look one way? It doesn't. And I think that's part of showing up playfully with something. Like we don't realize that we've borrowed somebody else's definition of how this is supposed to go and what I'm supposed to do.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Oh my gosh. I don't know why this popped in my head, but I'm gonna say it out loud. I feel like also the fact that like in golf, a lower score is like winning, or like some card games you have to get rid of all your cards. Yes. And some card games you want the most cards. So it just depends, like you're saying, it depends on what game you're playing and what winning quote unquote looks like. I love that.

unknown 5:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

So I kind of touched on this, but I think also people think about play and like productivity being opposites, or like in terms of like building a business, like I was saying, either, either we get to choose play or we get to choose like being a grown-up and having a real business. Do you know what I mean? Like, why do you think we do that? I mean, I'm assuming you don't think they're opposites, but I want you to talk about that whole relationship and how you view it and any advice you have for people or thoughts on it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Well, I think we do it, and I've done it too. I'm still kind of unlearning this because it's what we're taught. Think about when we're in school. It's like, oh no, no, you have to work and pay attention and sit still and learn this stuff, and then you can have recess later. If you're good, you can have recess. Now, the really cool teachers were the ones who found ways to make it interesting and playful. But God, I can only remember a couple of those. I wish I knew more of those teachers, right? That that's I think that's why, because we honestly believe that if we play, we won't get shit done. And I want to get shit done. Hell, I love getting shit done. I can't tell you right now, Deanna. Like, I'm do, I've got so much stuff going on. It's insane. And I'm creating like crazy, and I'm having a blast. It doesn't mean that I don't have my moments of frustration. Of course I do. But it feels like, oh, finally, I am playing the game of my life the way I want to. Like I'm making it up and I'm bringing myself to it and I'm playing in it. And it's incredibly productive, incredibly so. So it's like there is this, there is this thing, and I I this comes up all the time with my clients, right? Because they're like, I have to figure it out, I have to do it, I have to make it happen. They've got a million things going through their head all day long, and they're all this tension and all this pressure is happening. And they what they real, what really works actually to resolve your problems, to find the way through things, to be more productive is to stop that, is to step away from it, is to actually relax and let it come to you because it will. But we don't trust it. So we're playing, we're playing the game of I have to get shit done and I'm the one who has to make it happen. When what's actually available is I can relax and I can do what I know to do and let things come to me.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Mm-hmm. Okay, well, this feels like a little bit of a curveball because I'm like, well, now I feel like you're talking about being productive or resting or play. Like, I feel like you threw a third character into the story. I did.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Now what do we do?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Podcast over. Just kidding. It's canceled. I just think it's now I'm like, my brain is spinning because I'm like, is play hard? Do you think? Like, do you also need rest after you play?

SPEAKER_00 8:40

It well, think about that. Actually, it requires effort. So yeah, I mean, hell yeah. It's what I the kind of rest I'm talking about that we really need, we need bodily rest. Of course we do. That comes with any game play, any kind of effort that you put in the world, whether it's mental or physical, you're gonna need time for rest and recovery. But the rest that we so desperately need is mental rest. It's to give up this go, go, go, gotta do, do, do, do, do, do, do constantly. And the reason we do it is because we think we have to. Because secretly, most of us, not everyone, but I am guessing a lot of people, because I talk to them, think that secretly they're like lazy asses who will just sit on the couch and watch Netflix and eat potato chips all day if they don't push themselves to do stuff. But it's, and I don't know what the experience of someone would be like, but what I see is that when you let that pressure off, you actually have a lot more enjoyment come through, and you can actually do a lot more. It's very counterintuitive. And that's why most people are scared of it, because they're used to the way they do things. And this is what I want to encourage people just to experiment with it. You don't have to go all the way with it right away, but just consider like what if, what if really like less thinking and less pushing and less doing actually helps you get more done?

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Okay. Do you think people should just then like do you think if play doesn't come naturally to people? Do you think they might have to like think through like now? I'm being like, how do we strategically plan play? But do you think it's like maybe people would have to like could it be hard for some people to switch this? Like you're making it sound really easy, but I also know you and I know that you're really fun and creative, and it probably comes a little bit naturally to you. So, like, what if someone's like, okay, I hear what you're saying, I think this could benefit me. I'm stressed out, I need to cool my jets. This seems like a good option. What, but they're like, what do I even do? How do I weave it in? Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 10:48

I think the first thing to do is to really just notice how you wind yourself up and how that feels. Because most people don't see it. We think that it's the job, it's the deadlines, it's the to-do list that makes me feel tense and full of pressure. But watch that you'll do it when you're um in your downtime, when you're being with your family. You'll do it when you have time off on the beach. If you go to the beach, you could do it there. It's not about the list, it's about what's happening in you. So if you see yourself do it and just notice how that feels, you get a sense of that, you'll stop doing it. It's like putting your hand on a hot stove. You don't have to tell yourself to remove it. It freaking hurts, right? It hurts to use your mind like that. And when you see it, you'll stop. So you were asking something else about people who have trouble playing, right? I have yet to need a person who doesn't play in some way. Because think about we were kids, we were all little kids, and all little kids come on board knowing how to play because it's how we learn actually. And play is simply being curious and trying shit to see what happens and not taking it seriously. Like that's actually play. And then we make it into something else later on. We have our beliefs, right? But everybody came on board knowing how to do that. And I meet people and I just kind of like I look at them and I'm like, I just, I just see how people play. Like you clearly play all the time, Deanna. Like it's just you're very playful. But even people who seem uptight, they'll like crack a little smile at something, or maybe they have this like wry sense of humor that comes out, or you know, there's always something, or they play with one of their animals. Like everyone has that. They all have it. Some people just don't let it out and they don't let it come into work or other serious things where play doesn't belong there.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I guess what you're saying too is like you said in the beginning, I'm like, oh yeah, those people are like playing in their bookkeeping, like changing your definition of what we're kind of where we started the conversation of play not being something like specific, a board game or whatever, figuring out what your version of play is, kind of figuring out the game you're playing, like you said at the beginning, the definition, so that you can say, Okay, I'm doing my bookkeeping, like this is my time to shine. Let me play in my bookkeeping, which is funny to me too, because I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

But you know, or don't, but like, no, you're doing that. You could you like we we don't have to play? That's it's a choice that's available. That's what I'm pointing to. Like, it's available, try it out.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Yeah, there was a time when um I had a photography business a long time ago, and I was a teacher, and I was at a friend's house whose husband had a business, and he friggin' loved his QuickBooks, and he could not wait to show me he like remodeled kitchens that like and if I pull up Linda, like because I put all her paint supplies in here and I did, I can pull up exactly everything I've spent on Linda, every and I feel like he was like looking at his computer screen and like telling me over a shoulder we were behind him, and my friend was looking at me, like just knowing me way better than him, being like, What is he doing? And we were cracking up because I was like, I do not care about this at all. But I was like, Oh, cool. But when you mentioned someone loving their bookkeeping, I mean he was that was probably the most excited I ever saw him the whole time. Yes, everything I was like.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Wasn't it adorable to watch somebody like that? Even if personally you're like, I cannot relate, like, no way.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

But I mean, that was years ago, and I'm like telling the story now because it was like actually like in a weird way, like heartwarming. I was like, oh my god, look at him. He's so cute, loving his invoices. Hilarious. Yeah, yeah. It was play, it was 1000% play. So when you brought that up, I was like, oh my gosh. So true. Okay. So I think the big takeaways here for this are that people can choose to participate or not. They don't have to put it like, I'm gonna be productive or I'm gonna play. They can get woven together when you figure out like the game you're gonna be playing, right? It's not that deep. What'd you say? You just said getting curious and trying stuff out. Pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

And it's it's it's very simple. So it might be easy to dismiss, but consider it for yourself because it's actually really powerful. Even just noticing the games you're currently playing. Like what games are you playing? Are you playing the games of I need to make people like me? Are you playing the game of I need to prove myself to someone? Are you playing the game of how much impact I can have in the world? And do you want to play those games? Like, what games do you actually want to play? Just that is really useful to consider.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Totally okay. This was totally awesome. So before we do the deep dive for the extended version, let everyone listening know where they can hang out with you more online.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

The best place to find me is to go to theawakened business.com. That is my website, forward slash women. Get on my email list because that's where I am sharing all the time. And that's where I don't do the social media thing. So if you want to find out more about what I'm up to and and what I share runs the gamut of stories, sometimes fictional stories, sometimes like spiritual teaching stories, personal essays. I've been known to write poetry, I've been, I've done very strange things. I'll show videos of me dancing and falling on my head the other day. I didn't fall on my head. I fell gracefully. It wasn't tragic. But like it's it's my life and what I'm seeing. And it's about what it's like to be human and want to do things and create things in the world. So yeah, come play with me there.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Oh my gosh, I love that. Well, thanks for doing this interview with me. My pleasure. Steph and I kept the conversation going inside the playhouse, including a live QA where we got into what premature practicality is and how it quietly kills your biggest ideas before they even get a chance. Whether you should focus on strategy before play if your business isn't making enough money yet, and the ridiculous out-of-the-box move that ended up opening doors Steph never expected. Unlock the extended episode when you join us inside the playhouse. Get your first month for just 10 bucks when you use the coupon code podcast. Learn more at jointheplayhouse.com, and hopefully we'll see you soon. Learn more about stuff by clicking the links below in the show notes. See you next time.