Episode 37: Channeling Anger into Art: A Conversation with Filmmaker, Shane Matthews

Welcome to the Carousel of Happiness Podcast

On today's episode, host Allie Wagner introduces you to filmmaker Shane Matthews. Shane and his co-director, Joe Ventura, made a short film about Scott in 2020 called “Carving Joy.” You’ll hear how Shane got the idea for the project, how it was influenced by his own personal challenges, and how the film festival, Mountainfilm, inspired it all. 

Help us find the Council of Kindness a home! Want to learn more about the Council of Kindness? Check out its website - https://www.councilofkindness.org/ -  for more info.

Support Shane and the Carousel  of Happiness by watching "Carving Joy"  https://vimeo.com/ondemand/carvingjoy

Check out Mountainfilm in Evergreen, October 3 & 4 https://www.mountainfilm.org/tour-show/evergreen-co-2023/

The Carousel of Happiness is a nonprofit arts & culture organization dedicated to inspiring happiness, well-being, and service to others through stories and experiences.

Check out the carousel on the CBS national news! https://www.cbsnews.com/news/carousel-daydream-helped-marine-get-through-vietnam-war-he-then-made-that-carousel-a-reality/

If you enjoy the podcast, please consider visiting the Carousel of Happiness online (https://carouselofhappiness.org/), on social media (https://www.facebook.com/carouselofhappiness), or in real life. Or consider donating (https://carouselofhappiness.org/once-donate/) to keep the carousel and its message alive and spinning 'round and 'round.

If you have a story to share, please reach out to Allie Wagner at outreach@carouselofhappiness.org

Special thanks to songwriter, performer, and friend of the carousel, Darryl Purpose (https://darrylpurpose.com/), for sharing his song, "Next Time Around," as ou...

Transcript

Welcome to the Carousel of Happiness Podcast. I’m your host, Allie Wagner. 

On last week’s episode, we explored some of Neville Goddard’s ideas about imagination and the power of the “wish fulfilled.” Then I did my best to “smush” some of his ideas together with my own understanding of Scott’s second art installation, the Council of Kindness.

On today’s episode, I’ll introduce you to filmmaker Shane Matthews. Shane and his co-director, Joe Ventura, made a short film about Scott in 2020 called “Carving Joy.” You’ll hear how Shane got the idea for the project, how it was influenced by his own personal challenges, and how the film festival, Mountainfilm, inspired it all. 

Let us begin with today’s story.

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Evergreen-based filmmaker, Shane Matthews, has been coming to the carousel since 2014, or, as he likes to say, since his son, Miller, now 11 years old, could hold his head up. 

And when he tells me about those early rides on the carousel he lights up. He remembers some of Miller’s birthday parties upstairs in the party room and he tells me about these weekend visits he and his family start to make to Nederland. Shane, his son, Miller; and his wife, Natalie, plus assorted friends and family would make the hour-long drive up from Evergreen, ride the carousel over and over and over again until they finished their visit to Ned with a slice of pizza at Crosscut.

Shane remembers, a bit sheepishly, that initially he wanted to keep the carousel a secret at first. He didn’t want to tell anyone about it. He compared finding the carousel to the feeling you get when you find a good campsite. There’s something you love so much about the place that you want to keep it pristine, keep it uncrowded, keep it protected. So you don’t really want to tell people at first.

The Carousel of Happiness was that for Shane. That perfect campsite. He loved the energy of the place, he loved how happy he and his family felt when they visited, he loved the fact that the carousel was now part of a special family ritual – his weekend visits to Nederland. Those “Carousel and Pizza Weekends.”

For a while, the Carousel of Happiness was just that for Shane. A special campsite, a special ritual, a special place for his family. But in 2018, it becomes more than that. It becomes a catalyst for change in his own life at a time when he desperately needed it the most.

Shane tells me this story last week when we met at the Train Cars for coffee. We sat at the big table in the front car, dangerously close to the donuts. Shane warns a couple who walks through the door and eyes them. He says they’re dangerous. He’s not wrong. 

Scott stops by and the two of them catch up. They drop into conversation easily, the way people who are close do; skip right over the chitchat and go right to what matters most.

Shane is excited about the upcoming Mountainfilm festival in Evergreen. Mountainfilm is one of the country’s longest running film festivals, starting in Telluride in 1979. It’s a festival that showcases documentary films that celebrate adventure, activism, social justice, and the environment. Every year, on Memorial day, filmmakers, change makers, artists, athletes, and visionaries gather in Telluride to watch films that challenge and inspire them in equal measure.

After the primary festival in May, Mountainfilm then goes on tour, bringing its most inspiring short films to communities worldwide. Shane organizes the Evergreen stop of the tour, which will take place this year on October 3 and 4.

He loves the energy of the experience, he loves being around interesting people talking about interesting ideas, and, if he’s being honest, he loves making folks slightly uncomfortable when they sit in front of the screen. While Mountainfilm does feature outdoor films like ski movies, it's more than your average outdoor film festival. They tell stories about social activism and social issues that can bring to light some of the more challenging elements of the human experience. They do this to inspire change. They do this to inspire action.

Which is part of what Shane loves about organizing the festival. He knows how powerful films are and how they have the capacity to inspire radical change in the people who watch them and the people who make them. 

He knows this because it happened to him.  

In 2018, Shane Matthews was struggling. He had found himself, like so many of us do, in the negative news feedback loop. The more news he consumed, the worse he felt, the worse he felt, the more news he consumed. This cycle, as many of us know, is vicious and it left him feeling full of rage, frustration, and despair – a deadly cocktail many of us know so well.

And Shane is not alone. During the U.S. Presidential Election in 2016, therapist Dr. Steven Stosny coined the term "Headline Stress Disorder," which refers to the perpetual anxiety and emotional dysregulation humans being feel when they excessively consume negative news.

Shane tells me about what it was like during that time. How everything made him angry. How everything felt pointless. And how the only thing that made him feel better during this time was going to Mountainfilm. There was something about being surrounded by thought leaders and visionaries and activists who were actually doing something at a time when it felt like there was little to do.

But despite this reprieve, his negative emotions became too much. One morning, Shane and his wife, Natalie, were in bed enjoying a cup of coffee talking about the state of the world and finally she had had it with her husband. She had had enough of his anger and vitriol and she turned to him and said, “you need to channel this anger into something meaningful. You’re being a jerk.”

To be fair, in all honesty, she used a slightly more colorful word than “jerk,” but the intention was the same. Shane’s anger, at the time, was starting to impact his daily life to the point where she felt like she needed to say something. She needed him to find a healthy outlet for this energy.

In that moment, Shane knew she was right. But he didn’t know what that outlet was just yet.

Shortly after his conversation with Natalie, Shane and his family were up in Nederland once again for one of their Carousel and Pizza Weekend. The plan was the same. Ride until you can’t ride anymore, then grab a slice. 

Only, this time, the carousel had a different plan.

As he and his family waited for their ride, Shane was checking out the pictures hung along the wall when he overheard someone say to a friend, “you know, some Vietnam vet carved this.” 

There was something about the way they said it. “Some Vietnam vet.” Like he wasn’t a person or something. Clearly he was. And he must be a pretty compelling person if he were able to create something like this. Something his family loved so much. Something that meant so much to them.

That’s when the lightbulb went off.

I could make a film, he thought. About him. 

That was it. That was the project he could channel his energy into. That was the thing that he could focus on to get him out of his current funk.

Shane decided to skip the pizza that afternoon and ran right back home to start working on his new project.

There was only one slight problem. Shane had never made a film before. He didn’t know the first thing about filmmaking. In fact, he wasn’t entirely sure where the idea of making a film even came from. It just sort of popped in his head “out of nowhere.” 

So, he did what Scott did so many years ago when he too had a “crazy idea” he wasn’t exactly prepared for – he called some of his friends for help. His friend, Joe Ventura, was a writer and Shane thought he could help him find the story in the film. And his friend, Christy Schoonover, was a photographer. Clearly, she’d be able to help him with the visuals. Shane figured between the three of them they could figure this whole “make a movie” thing out. 

With his friends on board, Shane’s next step was to see if he could convince Scott to be the subject of his very first short film.

Shane called the carousel to see if he could speak with Scott. Apparently, he wasn’t in, but he was coming in later in the week to paint the animals. The staff member suggested Shane try back then. 

So he did. But instead of calling back, Shane drove up to Nederland to meet him in person. Only problem? Scott wasn’t there as planned. 

So, Shane decided he would hang out next door at the Train Cars and peek through the windows and wait until he showed up. All while eating those dangerous donuts, of course. 

And there he was, on his own little carousel stakeout of sorts, peeking through the windows, watching for Scott, eating donut after donut.

Still, no Scott.

Finally, Shane recognized a group of carousel employees who had come into the Train Cars for coffee. He decided this was his chance. Shane introduced himself to the table and explained that he wanted to get in touch with Scott and why.

“Ok,” one of them said. Then they gave Shane Scott’s personal phone number. 

He couldn't believe it. 

So Shane called Scott. And they met later at the carousel to discuss his desire to make a documentary.

Shane tells me they sat side-by-side on the swan bench and talked. Shane explained why he wanted to make the film and how he planned to do it. With a small crew of just his friends. 

It also was important to Shane that Scott trust him. It was important that he knew he intended to tell his story seriously and with intention.

Scott wasn’t so sure at first. He explained to Shane that other people had filmed the carousel in the past, and he wondered how Shane’s film would be different. 

Shane said to Scott, “The film isn’t about the carousel. It’s about you.”

Scott thought about it for a moment. And then he agreed.

Shane was thrilled. And a bit nervous, to be honest. Now he had to deliver on his promise. And make his first movie.

I asked Scott this week if he remembered why he said yes to Shane on the swan bench all those years ago. He said his initial impression of Shane was that his intention was to make the story an honest and serious one, which he appreciated.

But “honest and serious” would require a lot of direct and difficult questions. About events and memories Scott had either forgotten or tucked away somewhere in his heart and mind.   

When Shane and his team sat down with Scott for his first interview, they asked him once again – are you okay with the direct and difficult questions?

Scott replied, “No, but I’ll do it anyway.”

Shane estimates his team interviewed Scott for a total 12 hours for the project. He remembers sitting in Scott’s kitchen or his shop asking him the most difficult and painful questions you could ask another human being. It all felt surreal. Or super real, as he describes it. For Shane, it was like an out of his body experience. He was there listening to Scott, but not exactly there, somehow.

The days interviewing Scott were long. Challenging. And sad. For everyone.

Until one day.

Shane remembers the day Scott shared a story about being on a boat in the Pacific Ocean. This was after he had been injured in Vietnam, after he had come home and tried living a “normal” civilian life for a couple of years. Scott was still struggling and decided he had had enough of humans and he was going to build a boat and sail away. Problem solved.

And on this boat, out in the middle of the Pacific, after a pretty scary storm, Scott remembers a whale, about the size of his boat, swimming up alongside him. And for about 10 minutes or so, in the middle of the Pacific without a single human being in sight, this massive whale sat with Scott. Not asking anything of him. Not making any assumptions about him. She sat with him and allowed him to be seen by her. Something he desperately wanted and desperately needed at the time.

And, in this moment with the whale, he received a message from her. While no words were spoken, in Scott’s mind he heard this from the whale:

“Scott, what the heck are you doing? You don’t even know where you are going. Go back home and do something good for yourself and for others. The sea is my world, not yours. Stop being invisible. I can see you! Stop thinking you are insignificant. You are not and neither is anyone else.”

And then, just as quickly as she came, the whale dove back into the Pacific and swam away.

Scott, in turn, dropped the sails, turned around, and went home for good. His intent: to return and make himself useful. 

It was in that moment, of Scott sharing this story, after hours and hours of grim and sad details about Vietnam, that Shane and his team knew they had a compelling story. They knew that moment on the boat was the pivot moment. The dark night of the soul. The moment the hero decides to set out on his great adventure.

After shooting over 20 hours of interviews and 20 hours of B roll, Shane and his co-director, Joe, had plenty of footage for their film. But how would they be able to edit it all down?

After hours and hours and hours of editing in their pajamas, the film was finally finished. Shane and Joe had managed to whittle down 40 hours of footage into a 20-minute film. 

As soon as it was done, Shane knew immediately who he wanted to send it to. Mountainfilm. The film festival that helped keep him afloat during those dark years. 

And they loved it! They wanted to screen “Carving Joy” at the upcoming festival. It was a dream come true for Shane. And it goes without saying, that not every filmmaker, certainly not a new filmmaker, gets their movie screened at a festival as competitive as Mountainfilm. It was truly an accomplishment. 

There was only one catch – the festival needed him to cut the length of the film in half. 

Half? They had already gotten it down to 20 minutes. Half? As a new filmmaker and editor, Shane was overwhelmed by the thought, but he longed to see Scott’s story on the big screen at the festival that meant so much to him. He agreed and a staff member at Mountainfilm generously offered to walk him through the editing process.

“Carving Joy” was now less than 10 minutes and ready for its film festival debut.

Except, they finished editing at the beginning of 2020 and COVID hit. And large events, like film festivals, were cancelled. 

“Carving Joy” was accepted into six film festivals, all of which happened during lockdown. Shane would never have the opportunity to sit in a theater with an audience while they watched his work.

Despite his disappointment, Shane was blown away by the support he got from Mountainfilm. After his experience, he said to the organizers, “whatever you need, however I can give back to this organization, I want to do that.”

Which is how Shane Matthews became the organizer of the Evergreen stop on the Mountainfilm Tour.

While Shane might not have had his iconic filmmaker’s moment of being in a dark, crowded theater while an audience watched his work for the first time, he did have what he describes as an equally satisfying moment. 

He was in the carousel after “Carving Joy” was released, and he overheard someone at the carousel say the exact same words he heard way back in 2018. The words that changed everything for him. The words that would spark the idea that “came out of nowhere.” The words that would become a pivot moment. A moment when the hero decides to set out on his great adventure.

At the carousel, he overheard someone say to a friend, “you know, some Vietnam vet made this.”

This time, Shane got to turn around and say, “His name is Scott Harrison.” 

And that, according to Shane, was a pretty good feeling.

If you’d like to watch “Carving Joy,” you can find a link to it in the show notes. Watching the film is a way for you to support artists like Shane and 50% of the profits go back into the carousel. If you loved the CBS Sunday Morning segment about Scott, this is your chance to go a bit deeper and to understand his experience a bit more. 

Also, if you’re in need of some inspiration and positivity, check out the Evergreen stop of the Mountainfilm tour, which takes place October 3 and 4. Details are in the show notes. 

In the meantime, take care. Be well. And, as we like to say at the Carousel of Happiness, “don’t delay joy.” And we’ll see you next time around.