Episode 41: What the Carousel Wants You to Know

Welcome to the Carousel of Happiness Podcast.

On today's episode, host Allie Wagner tells you about a mysterious note she found lying on her desk. The outside of the envelope read, “What the Carousel Wants You to Know.” She was curious, so she opened it. And you wouldn’t believe what it said. Listen to all the juicy details on today’s episode of the podcast. 

Join us for our annual fundraiser, Animals After Dark, on November 11th. We'll have delicious food from Audrey Gebhardt of Decent Bagel, drinks, a silent auction, and a carousel-themed scavenger hunt. Dress as your 15-year-old self to celebrate our 15th birthday with us! Tickets are $75 until this Saturday, October 11th, when they go up to $85. https://carouselofhappiness.org/annualgala/

The Carousel of Happiness is a nonprofit arts & culture organization dedicated to inspiring happiness, well-being, and service to others through stories and experiences.

Check out the carousel on the CBS national news! https://www.cbsnews.com/news/carousel-daydream-helped-marine-get-through-vietnam-war-he-then-made-that-carousel-a-reality/

If you enjoy the podcast, please consider visiting the Carousel of Happiness online (https://carouselofhappiness.org/), on social media (https://www.facebook.com/carouselofhappiness), or in real life. Or consider donating (https://carouselofhappiness.org/once-donate/) to keep the carousel and its message alive and spinning 'round and 'round.

If you have a story to share, please reach out to Allie Wagner at outreach@carouselofhappiness.org

Special thanks to songwriter, performer, and friend of the carousel, Darryl Purpose (https://darrylpurpose.com/), for sharing his song, "Next Time Around," as ou...

Transcript

Welcome to the Carousel of Happiness Podcast. I’m your host, Allie Wagner. 

On last week’s episode, I shared my conversation with Genie Joseph, founder of the Tucson-based nonprofit organization, the Human-Animal Connection. Genie is a dog trainer, animal communicator, and an animal chaplain. Her organization is dedicated to bringing people and animals together for the healing of both. Genie and I talked about how a pitbull named Oscar changed the trajectory of her life, what animals can teach us about our sense of safety, and how curiosity and choice can be revolutionary in the healing of both humans and animals.

On today’s episode, I’m going to tell you about a mysterious note I found lying on my desk. I showed up, first thing, on Monday morning, and there it was, resting on my computer keyboard. Folded pieces of notebook paper tucked into a white envelope. The outside of the envelope read, “What the Carousel Wants You to Know.” I was curious. And I opened it. And you wouldn’t believe what it said. I’ll tell you all about it on today’s episode of the podcast.

But before we get to that, I want to remind you to buy your ticket for our annual fundraiser, Animals After Dark. We’re doing it on Veteran’s Day this year, November 11th. Audrey Gebhardt of Decent Bagel is catering the event, which means we’ve got mini chicken pot pies and shepherd's pies on the menu, apple cabbage slaw, as well as a carmelized onion and butternut squash risotto for our vegetarians. And don’t forget to save room for apple cider donuts for dessert. 

Because it’s a special year, we’re celebrating our 15th anniversary, there will be party games. We will have a carousel-themed scavenger hunt where you can test your knowledge of carousel trivia, learn some secrets about a place you love, and meet more of the people who keep us spinning. And yes, of course, there will be prizes. 

And because we are turning 15, we thought it would be fun to encourage you to bring your 15-year-old self along as well. That means, we are asking all attendees to dress like they did when they were 15 years old. Now is the time to go digging around at a thrift store or in the back of your closet and see what turns up.

If you’d like to celebrate with us, go to our website and buy tickets. They are $75 until this Saturday, October 11th, and then $85 after that. 

Now, let us begin with today’s story.

GONG

I am not sure if I should open the letter at first. Probably because the letters on the outside of the envelope are cut out from magazines like you see in ransom notes in the movies. Something about that detail feels slightly unsettling. But there are also some peace signs and pink little hearts drawn on the back. So, I feel like everything cancels out.

Plus, I must admit, I am curious. I don’t regularly find mysterious letters left on my desk and, when I do, it feels like I should open it.

So I do. 

Inside the envelope are a couple of sheets of long, yellow legal paper. The tops of them are torn to varying degrees. It looks like they were ripped out of the pad quickly and with purpose. 

At the top of the first page, in block letters, it reads, DEAR ALLIE. The letter goes on in even this same handwriting until it cuts to what looks like some lefthanded cursive. Followed by what I can only describe as a “doctor-style” writing. I can’t read a single word.

As I flip through the pages, I notice, every couple of lines the handwriting changes. Like the page was passed around. It’s crumpled in spots, some sections are easier to read than others. And some I can barely make out. 

There also appears to be mysterious smudges and stains on the page. If I’m being honest, I’d admit, the paper doesn’t smell great. It smells earthy. Damp. 

Underneath the greeting, centered at the top of the page, read the words “What the Carousel Wants You to Know.”

What the Carousel Wants You to Know. 

What the carousel wants you to know is that everything is going to be okay.

What the carousel wants you to know is that nothing is permanent.

What the carousel wants you to know is that everything, and everyone, is in a state of becoming.

What the carousel wants you to know is that nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong because nothing is done and because nothing is done, nothing can be wrong it can only be in a state of becoming. 

The carousel wants you to know it is okay to let go. Let go of what no longer works. Let go of what no longer serves. Let go of what no longer feels good. If it does not make your heart sing, let. It. Go.

The carousel wants you to know it’s okay to want your heart to sing. It is okay to want more, it is okay to want ease, it is okay to want joy. It is why you are here.

The carousel wants to remind you - “don’t delay joy” - not for another second, not for another thought, not for another excuse you can’t even remember where it came from. Don’t delay joy.

The carousel wants to remind you, you are whole. You are not broken. You are not damaged. 

And neither is that person over there. 

The carousel wants you to know you are bigger than the labels you give to yourself and the ones you assign to others. You are bigger than your body, you are bigger than your diagnosis, you are bigger than your baggage.

And so are they.

In fact, you are so much bigger than you think. You are so much bigger than you know. 

There has never been another you. Nor will there ever be another you. You are one in a million, you are an original, you are extraordinary.

And so are they.

It is through your unique set of eyes that you see the world. It is through your unique set of preferences and tendencies that you shape the world and those around you.

There will never be another you.

Which means you are not an accident. You are not a mistake. 

And neither are they.

The carousel wants you to know that it’s okay to retreat from the chaos. It’s okay to find solace with a pen in your hand or a paintbrush or a ski pole. It is okay to reach for what feels good and to stay there as long as you can, while the world spins round and round.

The carousel wants you to know that your best contributions, your best ideas, your best self, comes from the quiet space within. From the calm within the storm. From the place you can find in meditation or on a dog walk or in a pottery studio. From the place that becomes harder to hear the louder it gets, but the deeper you go, the quieter it gets.

The carousel wants you to know it’s okay if you haven’t been there. It’s okay if you’ve forgotten how to get there. The carousel wants you to know it doesn’t matter how long it's been or how old you are. The carousel wants you to know you can always get there.

The carousel wants to remind you that you knew all of this when you were a child. When the light flowed, before the static came, you knew this and so much more.

Which means you know it now even if you’ve forgotten. You know it even if it’s been gunked up, scabbed over, and crusty. You know it and have always known it, which means you know it now. Even if you think you don’t.

The carousel wants you to know there is a difference between knowing and “Knowing.” One is capitalized, the other isn’t. One comes from the head, and the other, the heart.

The carousel wants you to know your heart will never steer you wrong. It might steer you over a cliff or down a rabbit hole, but it will never steer you wrong.

Your heart will never steer you wrong.

The carousel wants you to know that it isn’t your mind’s fault for steering you wrong sometimes. It is just doing its best.

As are you.

As are they.

The carousel wants you to know that this, too, shall pass. That sometimes cliches are cliches because they are so true. Because they are so universal to the human experience that they must be repeated and repeated, pass on to the next and the next.

*

“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

You are exactly where you need to be.

This, too, shall pass.

*

The carousel wants you to know you are not late, you are right on time. You are elegant in your becoming and you are also a bit sloppy. You are as graceful as you are awkward and we think that’s just fine.

The carousel wants you to know this, too, shall pass. The wounds will heal. Your heart will love again. The carousel wants to remind you that you are exactly where you need to be. That nothing is lost. And that hope springs eternal.

The carousel wants you to know you’re always welcome here. Just as you are. Welcome to ride, welcome to watch, welcome to be. You are welcome here.

And so are they.

The carousel wants you to know you are loved. By many you know, and by many you don’t. By the ones who live in your home and by the ones who live in your heart. You are loved. And you are love.

And so are they.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

That’s our show for today. Be sure to grab your ticket to Animals After Dark before prices go up this Saturday, October 11th. We’ll see you and your 15-year-old self a month later on November 11th.

In the meantime, take care. Be well. And, as we like to say at the Carousel of Happiness, “don’t delay joy.” And we’ll see you next time around.