What Fun Things Happen To Women When Menopause Starts

Discover the hilarious and positive side of menopause! Say goodbye to "period panties" and hello to the fun things that happen to women when menopause starts. Laugh your way through this important life change!

Transcript

Freedom from Periods and Pads

Speaker 1 0:00

Today, y'all we are talking about menopause, all the good things, the bad things. But we're gonna start off with what that means to you and what that means to us Freedom, no more pads.

Speaker 2 0:10

No more pads. I never knew when I was having a cycle, so I always really had to count that every 28 days there were no symptoms, no cramps, no anything. Two days on, completely done. Two days. I don't even know what that is because, like my cousins, would start fanning and oh my God, come on, we got the fan on, right. I don't know what's going on. So I literally went to my doctor and said I think something's not happening to my body.

Speaker 3 0:35

Like I'm really concerned.

Speaker 1 0:41

This is Legra, this is Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is Legra, this is Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is Ivanya.

Speaker 3 0:53

And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife, one laugh at a time. Hey you guys, Welcome to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered. I am Legra.

Speaker 1 1:07

I'm Stephanie, I'm Cherie and Ivanya. Today, y'all we are talking about menopause, all the good things, the bad things, but we're going to start off with what that means to you and what that means to us Freedom, no more pads, no more tampons, no more unexpected visits.

Speaker 3 1:23

We're going to talk about periods and pads tampons.

Speaker 2 1:29

No more unexpected visit, talk about. So it's in pants, okay, okay, but before we get started, please, guys don't forget to Like, follow, subscribe and share. We want everybody to enjoy these sessions, yes yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, we're filling the tea on midlife, oh, oh one last time I feel yes, we

Speaker 3 1:46

are? Yes, we are Well, since we talking about midlife and you got us talking about our cycles and menopause. So I guess what we gonna talk about the good stuff. Let's talk about the good stuff.

Speaker 1 1:55

Okay, let's talk about the good stuff, because it's enough bad stuff going on with menopause.

Speaker 4 2:00

And since we were talking about the good stuff, I know you told us to prepare and write, you know, a letter to our period. I want to share something with the gang out here. Yeah, I have something to share. Oh, you done wrote something.

Speaker 3 2:12

Yeah, Uh-huh, okay let's see what we got. I done, wrote something.

Letters to Our Periods

Speaker 4 2:14

And this looks so old and dated that I printed it out Instead of it on your phone. No, it could have been on my whole phone, but I typed it on the computer in this print. I've been in work mode, I've been going crazy at work, so anyway, okay, don't mind my big piece of paper, okay, okay. So I said you were something that happened to me. A little late, I must say. You came with a gush and a uh and I tried to pray you away. What the just happened and why is it so bad? I told my grandma and she stated girl, let me go get you some pads. This is a part of life and what makes you great. You're the giver of life. And there's much more at stake. We have birth nations and created wars.

Speaker 4 2:54

These two, these baby, are the givers and receivers of much, much more now I got tired of you and I was seriously over it, went to the doctor and said, sir, please sniff, snip, I don't want her no more. My childbearing years are done and just like that, in 2020, my new journey begun. I parted ways with old girl and I must say I was feeling great. But there was one more thing around that corner, one more thing to negate. She reminded me of an old song and oh, her ass couldn't wait. She waited, patiently and quietly grinding at the great the gates, oh I'm coming. And ooh, her ass couldn't wait. She waited, patiently and quietly grinding at the gates oh I'm coming. And she wanted her applause. She walked into the room and the men of Paws coming to a theater soon near you. Damn, you want that. Y'all put it last night.

Speaker 3 3:42

I'm a rapper. Come on, rapper, now we need you to perform it. Come on, rapper, now we need you to perform it, come on.

Speaker 4 3:49

No, listen. Why are you playing?

Speaker 3 3:50

Uh-oh, what is that, lou? She got little Lou down there. Little Lou, come on Where's little.

Speaker 2 3:57

Lou at Little Lou, baby, come on.

Speaker 4 3:59

That was so good, thank you, thank you. So we're talking about periods and then a pause, y'all.

Speaker 3 4:04

Now keep in mind.

Speaker 2 4:06

I sent the text out about 11 o'clock last night, so you wrote that at 11 o'clock last night you did yeah, you good Got skills Got bars the talent, Bars baby. That was good, though that was really good.

Speaker 3 4:18

Copyrighted. Really good, you say, round the corner was the menopause.

Speaker 4 4:24

For those who know where I'm going. Y'all know where I'm going. I tried to tell my boo thing. I was like what?

Speaker 3 4:31

Menopause, baby Menopause.

Speaker 4 4:33

The men all pause, but this menopause yes.

Speaker 3 4:36

Oh look, we got it, we got it we got it.

Speaker 4 4:39

Sorry, server we got it, we got it, we got it, we got it, we got it, we got it, we got it.

Speaker 2 4:43

That was really good, thank you. There we go. I love red lipstick.

Speaker 3 4:47

I love red lipstick yes, we do, yes, we do, oh goodness. Well, you got me with that middle pause. Now I don't even know if I want to read my stuff later no don't do that. No, that was good and relatable yeah yes, as you said, your grandmama said girl let me go get some pads, that's about all that? That's about all the uh, encouragement or excitement they do like, yeah, let me go get you something, and I started late and late in my teen years, because my grandma was taking me to the doctor like something wrong yeah, and

Speaker 4 5:17

it's because I was very active in sports and everything. So I just didn't and I think the food was different back then.

Speaker 3 5:23

Everything was different back then because these young girls are starting their cycle early. Nine and ten.

Speaker 4 5:27

I was like those babies at schools with pads. I started imagine a baby carrying pads. I was 10 in fifth grade.

Speaker 1 5:33

I remember it like yesterday, fifth grade and I was not prepared.

Speaker 4 5:38

I'm telling you, I'm sorry, I was not for me.

Speaker 1 5:40

I was 10 years old. I remember the teacher had to give me something to wrap around my waist.

Speaker 4 5:44

That's so scary yeah 10 years old. Damn. Oh wow, Gosh and my daughters all started late too, Thank Jesus. I can't imagine babies in elementary school carrying pads.

Speaker 3 5:56

Well, that's one of the good things about being in this stage of life is I don't have to carry no pads and tampons anymore. You know how many times you done carry pads and tampons anymore.

Speaker 1 6:04

You know how many times you didn't carry pads and tampons and they fall out your purse or something at the wrong time. Oh yeah, the backup.

Speaker 3 6:08

Yeah, sit in the car yes, sit the desk, send your purse everywhere like I don't have to worry about that stuff.

Speaker 4 6:14

No, more but I wouldn't have an ablation in 2020, so that's what I said when I went to the doctor. I was like yeah, I don't need this anymore and I learned about ablation probably like in 2013. Um, I was used to do software implementations and I went to a center down in I think they were in Columbus, georgia, and all the women that worked at the utility company were like oh we got ablation.

Speaker 4 6:38

I was like, what is ablation? He was like it's like a. You have your 2d laser laser to where you don't bleed anymore. But they say we still have symptoms of a period, so they call it a phantom period. And I was like, well, how do you do that? One girl said I just told my doctor I was cramping real bad and the doctor did it for her. So I think once I got into my 40s my period started being more erratic and I'm grown having accidents and I'm like, oh no, because I couldn't count on it.

Speaker 1 7:03

Because, it's irregular, you don't know when it's coming.

Period Experiences and Ablation

Speaker 4 7:05

Yeah, and it was, I guess, going through perimenopause and I was like, yeah, I don't like that. So I told him and I said oh man, I'm cramping real bad. I ain't never had no cramps, I've never been a cramper.

Speaker 2 7:26

And I was like, yeah, and out procedure, it was nothing crazy and I had that.

Speaker 4 7:27

No, I didn't feel anything. No, you out.

Speaker 1 7:30

I had mine last year best thing I ever did best thing. I have no worries.

Speaker 2 7:38

I can trip on one, so you used to cramp.

Speaker 1 7:44

I said I'm like, because I already had my tubes tied. So I'm like, but I'm still getting a period. I'm like there's no need for me to have a period. And so she's like well, we have this thing called ablation. Sign me up the next week, Love it.

Speaker 3 7:57

Love it. See, I used to try to get my doctor well, maybe because I was telling her take my, take it all. Oh, can you just get all the plumbing out, I don't need it no more, I'm finished.

Speaker 3 8:07

And she always said she would never take it she's like, if there's nothing wrong with it, just leave it alone, she said don't, don't mess with it if there's nothing wrong with it. But I never thought of the ablation. But mine stopped on its own, but it was, it was well. First I thought you know you don't have it and you're like, okay, now, where have I had sex recently?

Speaker 2 8:26

or whatever, because first thing you think of is you're pregnant, because your cycle is late, so I thought I was.

Speaker 3 8:31

I didn't think I was pregnant. I was like wait, you ain't had none girl. Who you fooling?

Speaker 3 8:35

You ain't married Virgin Mary you ain't a virgin Mary you ain't a virgin Mary and what is going on with your cycle. And I just went to the doctor and they draw blood to see what stage you're in and the funny thing was they told me I was post-menopause. Oh dog, like I had already been through menopause. I was like really, but I hadn't started having all the symptoms and everything yet. I didn't start having symptoms maybe about a year before I was diagnosed with cancer. But yeah, mine just stopped One minute. It was there and then it wasn't there, and then you might have one the next month, three months later and stuff, and then it was just gone. But I don't miss those period panties. Y'all know the period panties. I don't miss the period panties.

Speaker 1 9:20

You're not messing up those nice panties, see y'all we have a couple gentlemen over here, Like the boy's acting like he's so into his phone right now.

Speaker 3 9:29

Mo over here, I can see his eyes going all over. See y'all, these are the things that men didn't have to deal with.

Speaker 4 9:36

See, y'all got to see the cute drawers, but we got them big granny panties.

Speaker 3 9:40

Hold them. Crannies With bleach stains on them because you bleached them and I only wear black underwear. I only wear black underwear, but I always bleached them anyway. So they got all the bleach stains, all them and everything we got them.

Speaker 2 9:52

Oh, the ugly y'all got the raggedy drawers too you know, you got them raggedy comfortable drawers.

Speaker 3 9:58

We have raggedy drawers that you only wore when you were on your cycle. So y'all see, y'all got them old, cute lacy panties and stuff where y'all got to see them.

Speaker 4 10:06

We got period panties and that's what we call well. They would see it once. When you're in a relationship, you're with that person day in and day out. You would see that, but every once in a while. Yeah, everyone's one whoever I was with saw it. Listen. We, we together, we in this house together. You just go go. Yeah, this is what you're going to see, that's what you're going to get.

Speaker 1 10:27

How do y'all feel about those not that we have to worry about it those new panties now that you just bleed into what's new panties. Oh, the period panties. Now you bleed into the panties. Yeah, you haven't heard of those.

Speaker 3 10:37

Well, first of all, I ain't had a cycle in a minute, but I've seen commercials about it, I was like I don't sound right.

Speaker 1 10:42

But yeah, you just keep the same underwear, you don't use a pad or anything.

Speaker 4 10:45

The disposable panties. Yeah, I've always been a tampon girl. I don't want nothing in my drawers or to touch my skin. I haven't used a towel.

Speaker 2 10:56

I'm a tampon girl.

Speaker 3 10:57

I was always a tampon girl, I don't want nothing touching me.

Speaker 4 11:01

And then I play sports.

Speaker 3 11:03

Especially once I started, you know, in college, and it's funny because athletes, I'm sure you can all understand, I'm sure we always did period checks and you know, women start syncing up.

Speaker 1 11:14

Yeah, I remember that I don't know why you start syncing up.

Speaker 3 11:18

So the whole basketball team is on their period At the same time.

Speaker 1 11:22

We don't know how that happens.

Speaker 4 11:24

I think it's the mood or something.

Speaker 3 11:28

And you got home games and away games and your home games you wore the light colors, like if you had white and all that kind of stuff. So we always everybody do like everybody period check.

Speaker 2 11:36

So you're always checking your friends.

Speaker 3 11:38

If somebody had to check you because you're running up and down a basketball court, so you need to maybe do a check.

Speaker 4 11:44

And I don't miss that where you put your pad on and you're like can you see my pad? But back then they had a big lumpy pad Like. Can you see? It Looked like you had that big block in the back of your butt like a baby tampon.

Speaker 1 11:58

Oh, I hated that. It was terrible.

Speaker 4 12:02

But I do like not having to schedule sex around. Yeah, they got the tampons, but I do like not having to schedule sex around. Yeah, period, well, I ain't getting none right now but I'm going back in the day it was a thing. She's back, she's back, she's back.

Speaker 3 12:13

She's back Me and Becky Style. You're going to have a hot girl summer together. She's back.

Speaker 1 12:18

Then we'll run the red lights. Remember when.

Speaker 2 12:19

I. The crib is gone and the playpen is there.

Speaker 1 12:22

Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 12:23

I love that. That's what I meant. You don't have to worry about that anymore.

Speaker 2 12:25

It's just like hey.

Speaker 3 12:27

Because you do. You have to schedule sex around your period. And I'm sure, being in a relationship. You got you know. Hey, boo, I'm sorry, I'm on my period.

Speaker 2 12:36

Yeah, oh, you ain't coming over now.

Speaker 4 12:41

Right, you just used me for that You're asking too hard though, aw.

Speaker 3 12:46

Like ew.

The Perks of Post-Period Life

Speaker 3 12:49

Yeah, so there's some good things about it. I love, I love. Well, I used to cramp really bad as a younger adult, like when it very first started, and I think that's just your body going through whatever hormonal changes and all that kind of stuff. But because I was an athlete and stuff, well, I can't even say that I got maybe it was just me because some of our other athletes would have really bad cramps, but I was so active and stuff. Hell well, I didn't have time to cramp, I got your coaches and stuff didn't care nothing about that. It was the game time.

Speaker 1 13:23

You know you can go at home and say but when I did, somebody told me if I do like sit-ups, for some reason it would stop. And it actually worked yeah, why you're moving in so yeah, I actually did it, but I never had like really really bad, but when I did I would do sit-ups mm-hmm, I don't think I.

Speaker 3 13:42

I ain't never heard of it.

Speaker 1 13:44

I don't know who told me, but it make it worse Because you're exercising that muscle, the muscle's like so tense and doing, but if you're moving it then you're kind of I don't know.

Speaker 3 13:54

I'm making it up it worked for me, it worked for you. Some women go to the gym. See, yeah, would you say. Some women go to the gym.

Speaker 3 14:06

wow, I don't know well, I was so busy like I said I was playing sports a lot, so I don't know. And then even after I finished in college, when I got married, we still played sports almost every day, every other day or whatever. It was because we played a lot of co-ed stuff. We played co-ed basketball, volleyball. It was because we played a lot of co-ed stuff, we played co-ed basketball, volleyball, softball. So we played sports all the time, all the time. And then I think after that, like even in my 30s I don't know, in my 30s, well, you know my 30s was a little fun.

Speaker 3 14:43

Yeah, I'm doing 30, 30, I don't even remember everything I'm doing when you can't say it all out loud and stuff, and then I don't know. I think I think I started menopause early in my 40s, because it is starting early for some a lot and I see a lot of people, young girls like in their 30s, talking about.

Speaker 4 15:03

A lot. So you know, menopause is technically only one day, menopause is scientifically only one day. And what happens?

Speaker 3 15:11

on that day.

Speaker 4 15:11

Everything after is post-menopause.

Speaker 3 15:13

Post-menopause. So what's?

Speaker 4 15:16

perimenopause. You're getting ready to transition into that one full day of menopause and then you go and you transition into post-menopause.

Speaker 1 15:24

So what happens on the?

Speaker 4 15:24

one day.

Speaker 3 15:25

So what's on the one?

Speaker 4 15:25

day, who knows? Well, girl, don't bring it up in Google. Now I got to Google. But if you Google it, it's literally only one day that you actually transition. I know, I literally missed it. Yeah, because you said you never Literally.

Speaker 2 15:39

I never knew when I was having a cycle, so I always really had to count that every 28 days there were no symptoms, no cramps, no anything. Two days on, completely done.

Speaker 4 15:50

Two days.

Speaker 3 15:52

Two days I had no idea that I was like.

Speaker 2 15:55

For me, honestly, going through menopause is. I don't even know what that is, because, like my cousins, would start fanning and, oh my God, I don't know what's going on, so I literally went to my doctor and said I think something's not happening to my body.

Speaker 3 16:11

Like I'm really concerned.

Speaker 2 16:13

And she drew the blood work and said you're done. I'm like, and I literally woke up one day and just never had another cycle. But like I never had. I never had a night sweat, I never had a hot flash, mood swings.

Speaker 3 16:26

Anything like that I never had the mood swings.

Speaker 2 16:30

Yeah, I never had anything and I didn't have. Now my daughters bless their hearts. They be crawling on the ground with cramps.

Speaker 1 16:39

I never I still get the mood swings, even with the ablation I used to bleed for a whole week straight, and then, and then sometime it'll run it back like so.

Speaker 3 16:47

I could bleed for seven days straight and not like that's a long time and then I could bleed for a whole week. You might be off two, three days and then that sucker would run back because my cycles were really irregular. But that's one reason why I was put on the birth control pill at an early age because the birth control pill regulates period because I was so irregular, I was getting them all the time.

Speaker 3 17:12

So, honey, when that thing's, when it was like it was stopping, I was like wait, are you sure I ain't gonna do this no more? Yeah, I probably bled.

Speaker 2 17:20

I should be dead now I need a blood infusion, as much blood as.

Speaker 1 17:24

I've probably lost. I need an infusion. That's a lot. I still have a big box of tampons I got from Costco.

Speaker 4 17:32

I don't get them right.

Speaker 2 17:33

I can't take them to Goodwill, your daughter's she's on birth control, so she stops her.

Speaker 1 17:36

So she didn't have a period.

Speaker 3 17:37

She takes the birth control so birth control that you ain't got a half a pill.

Speaker 1 17:40

If you take the real pill like you just never take the placenta. Yeah, you just take the pit, the real pill, all the time and when I was on the depo shot. I didn't have a period for years like, if you're going on vacation, you just take the real pill during your vacation so you wouldn't have periods, ain't?

Speaker 3 18:03

that something.

Speaker 2 18:03

I was in the struggle, but think about that Going on vacation. You got to plan when to take a pill, yeah.

Speaker 3 18:08

But you got to plan that, and especially as much as I travel right now.

Speaker 2 18:11

Yeah. I can't go swimming Like Tic Tacs.

Speaker 1 18:15

You can't get in the pool. It's a lot the. Yeah, that was the thing.

Speaker 3 18:18

What'd you say If you were in?

Speaker 2 18:21

the ocean swimming you couldn't go in the ocean and hear your period.

Speaker 1 18:24

Because, the sharks would come eat, you Like a little drop of blood.

Speaker 4 18:30

They smell it, Baby they down there hovering they won't go get you.

Speaker 2 18:36

I don't know what we're going to do?

Speaker 1 18:38

I don't know.

Speaker 2 18:39

Scientifically, did you know no.

Speaker 4 18:41

I think it's some bullshit. I think it's some bullshit. I think it's just a myth, but I heard that too though don't go to the ocean.

Speaker 2 18:48

There's gonna be some doctor on here listening to us.

Speaker 4 18:49

Yeah giving all this false information giving all this false information this was a black mama narrative, oh my god.

Period Hygiene and Cultural Beliefs

Speaker 3 19:00

But I think too the this was a black mama narrative oh my God, yeah, I heard that. But I think too the good thing too about not having psychologically, because a lot of women go through this thing about oh my God, it's the official sign that you're old, it's the official sign, you know, of not being able to have more children. I was so happy about that because I wouldn't have no more, no way, and I couldn't get the doctors to do like snip cut something it's like no, there's nothing wrong with your plumbing miss colon, I'm gonna keep that we're.

Speaker 3 19:32

We're not gonna go and just do a surgery. I'm like, well, cut that off you know or whatever, but a lot of women go through this psychological thing of when they're real but for me it was confidence. Yeah, mine wasn't depression or wasn't either.

Speaker 1 19:47

Well, because I think, because I made the choice it didn't happen to me. I chose to do it, so I think that changes it, but yeah I think if I was going through it like naturally, I probably would feel a little oh my god you would feel sad a little not that I want kids or anything, but just the fact that it's happening, because that's the next stage of life, like oh.

Speaker 2 20:08

Because we're kind of taught that once you hit menopause you're going to the end of your life.

Speaker 3 20:12

Yeah, basically.

Speaker 2 20:15

That's the other side, and so for a lot of women, when you think about it, we young, we're agile, we're doing things. When you get to that point, it's just like huh, you know, so I was happy, yeah.

Speaker 1 20:27

I was just happy.

Speaker 3 20:32

I was happy that you know what? Of course, not having cycles anymore, not having to worry about getting pregnant. See y't scare.

Speaker 4 20:40

Don't scare.

Speaker 1 20:40

You don't have pregnancy scares.

Speaker 3 20:43

You know, what's so funny is I was always so careful I never really had pregnancy scares.

Speaker 1 20:49

I was always careful.

Speaker 3 20:54

I was always too fearful of and this is no knock against anyone that had to do what they had to do. I've watched or I had to take people to the clinic too many times that. I never wanted to be in that situation in that. That seat now the first time I took someone to the clinic. That was when the protesters would all be outside.

Speaker 2 21:18

Get past all that, get past them. And they banged on your car and they called you all kind of killers and all that kind of stuff and I was like it ain't me it ain't me.

Speaker 4 21:28

Oh, my God. They knew your friend all through the night. It's her, it's her.

Speaker 3 21:33

It's the driver.

Speaker 2 21:35

But yeah, they were aggressive and all that kind of stuff, and even though they weren't, allowed to come on the premises.

Speaker 3 21:40

They would be at the gate so you had to get past them, you know, drive past them and all that kind of stuff. And I think I just never wanted to be in that position. So I was always very careful, very careful. And then because, especially once I started being on the pill, it was like clockwork. So if it was late I was like, ok, I'm going to give her a day, I'm going to give her a day and she need to show up. But I always never wanted to have that pregnancy scare. But that's another thing is you can have all the sex you want, I ain't got to worry about being pregnant. And of course we got diseases we have all the pregnancy scare yes, yes, but that pregnancy scare is something else.

Speaker 3 22:22

Well, you started off with your little rap and everything.

Speaker 2 22:25

It's a poem.

Speaker 3 22:28

It's a poem. Did y'all write anything or y'all have anything prepared for y'all cycle? I did throw this at y'all in the wee hours of the night last night. I have a little obituary. Oh, she's going to wrote an obituary, oh Lord.

Speaker 1 22:41

Goodbye, dear.

Speaker 3 22:42

Let's see what we got.

Speaker 1 22:43

Let's see what we got. This is my Aunt Flo obituary.

Speaker 4 22:47

Come on.

Speaker 1 22:48

Flo, that's her name.

Speaker 4 22:49

Okay.

Speaker 1 22:52

With a mix of relief, mild annoyance and a few celebratory chocolates, we announce the departure of our dear Aunt Flo. For decades she visited us like clockwork, arriving uninvited, demanding attention and occasionally making a dramatic entrance with cramps, mood swings and an insatiable craving for all things chocolate, and sometimes sweet and salty stuff too. Aunt Flo's visits were never short of dramatic. She was a bit like that guest who shows up at the worst possible time, stays for several, several days and uses up all the hot water. She was the queen of unpredictability, sometimes early, sometimes fashionably late, and always prepared to throw a surprise curveball, like appearing during a long awaited vacation. Yes, now, as we honor our daily departed on flow, we celebrate her ability to teach us important life lessons Perseverance, a surprising level of patience and the necessity of carrying an emergency tampon and stash of painkillers at all times. Rest in peace, aunt Flo. We may not miss your timing, but we'll always remember the chaos, the humor and the many, many trips to the store. Rest easy, old girl, rest easy, rest easy, I like that Rest easy.

Speaker 2 24:02

That is rude Rest easy, you know.

Speaker 4 24:04

That reminded me of at work, how we were saying you had to have pads stashed everywhere in your car, and at work in my little drawer I had a little jazzy like little pouch that I stabbed, you know, and so I'm like and I have to grab and yeah, and try to hide it.

Speaker 3 24:18

Yeah, and try to hide it.

Speaker 4 24:19

Yeah, and walk through the office and I was like, oh, this is just so terrible.

Speaker 1 24:22

Girls get a tampon put in my bra Right. They don't think of that.

Speaker 4 24:24

It's like we have to be so discreet. And they don't sell. You remember they used to sell the pads and tampons in the bathroom. Oh, yeah, yeah In the public bathroom, but sometimes, even in corporate situations, they would have them in the bathrooms, tired of stocking them.

Speaker 1 24:39

What about going to the grocery store and buying them? You got this big box and the guy behind you is like Shut up, sir.

Speaker 3 24:45

This is how you got here.

Speaker 3 24:48

You better be happy, I'm wearing them. Thank you, you better be happy, I'm wearing them. This also brings me to a story Hygiene and your period. Oh yeah, some people you can smell. Okay, god forgive me and I pray this young lady is not watching, but it is a true story. Um, I used to take I don't want to go into a whole lot of detail, but I had a friend who she had an older parent and you know, um, first of all, we were born in what? 70s, 60s, 70s, so for her to have an older parent, her parent was probably maybe what 40s, or not even 40s, yeah, 40s, 30s. So times were different then than even they were for our time. So she was raised, and she's my age. She was raised not to get into water yep, I've heard that before at all.

Speaker 2 25:48

We don't get into water when you're on your cycle, because that's what they believed the generation before us.

Speaker 3 25:54

You do not submerge yourself in water. So we would take, we would take classes. We would take this class after work that involved us dancing and sweating and stuff, and there would be this smell that would come up in the room. That I would smell. And I remember coming out of class all the time and being like God who is that? Because you know it's a room full of women, you don't know who it is, or whatever. And one time we went to class together and she needed a ride to her car and so she got in my car and it hit me and I was like, oh my God, it's my friend, I'm so sorry because I'm stuck on the not getting in water you don't shower, wait a minute.

Speaker 4 26:38

You don't shower.

Speaker 3 26:38

No, I've heard that you don't scrub at the sink.

Speaker 2 26:42

Yeah, but why are you doing this?

Speaker 4 26:45

Why are you doing this? No, because y'all know that's how we do it.

Speaker 3 26:49

No, I don't know.

Speaker 4 26:51

You ain't never took the little sink bath.

Speaker 3 26:53

My mother has never in our life allowed us to wash up. Have you ever washed up? Never, because I passed that on to my son. My mother said as long as it took for you to run that water, get everything prepared to wash the seat you could have been in and out the bathroom or the shower.

Speaker 4 27:08

If you were young and you had a dude's house and y'all do it real quick, you'd be like, oh, I gotta go home. No, I usually would jump in the shower that they parents' house.

Speaker 3 27:17

First of all, I wasn't boning in they parents' house.

Speaker 1 27:19

Stephanie Nasty little hot ass. I wasn't doing all of that, Stephanie.

Speaker 4 27:25

You didn't live until you snuck into somebody's house. I wasn't doing all of that, stephanie, we had to do the little wash off.

Speaker 1 27:34

Well, yeah, you have to.

Speaker 3 27:36

Of course I'm not going to lie and say I've never had the washcloth because we all had the washcloth moment.

Speaker 1 27:40

You just hurry and laugh. The the washcloth, because we all had a washcloth moment. You just hurry him up the temporary until you get to the shower.

Speaker 3 27:44

Yeah, until you get to a shower. Well, if I'm staying at his house, I can shower. No, we might not.

Speaker 1 27:49

Well, first of all, y'all were hot asses I'm sorry, her baby's early, her baby's early.

Speaker 4 27:55

At least I wanted to wash them, smell fresh. For what?

Speaker 2 27:58

Because I was leaving To go home and take a bath To walk in shame.

Speaker 4 28:02

To walk in shame, that's hilarious. Don't make me forget my story. Sorry, the girl didn't wash your hands. Well, basically no, but that's what you were taught.

Speaker 1 28:12

That's what you were taught. That was the generation before us. You've heard it right. Why can't you get in water?

Speaker 2 28:20

It was one of the old wives tales, that's all.

Speaker 3 28:23

But her mother taught her that. So I remember going home and I told my mom. I was like mom, it was my friend, it's my friend. And my mother said, if that's your friend, then you will tell her. So I had to tell her.

Speaker 1 28:36

You think?

Speaker 3 28:36

she didn't know. Well, no, when I approached her and we had the conversation because we were friends and of course there's a way to tell people- with love, not discernment tact Right with love.

Speaker 3 28:49

You know that there was something going on and I noticed, you know that it was you, and she was like oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm on my period. And I was like, and I didn't understand. So I was like, okay, so what does that mean? So what does that mean? And then that's when she said, well, you know, you don't get in the water, you don't. And I was. I was confused because I had never heard it before you don't get in water. And I was like, girl, if you don't get you, a vinegar bath.

Speaker 3 29:15

So I I introduced her to a vinegar bath and you know I was like, and she thanked me for it because we were friends. You know she thanked me for it, but that's how she was raised.

Speaker 4 29:26

Man, I'm about to look that up. It must be something religious or something I don't know.

Speaker 3 29:31

It's just an old wives tale and I want to know where it came from.

Speaker 1 29:35

And I wonder if it's like cultural.

Speaker 3 29:36

That's like yeah, I'm going to have to research that this is an African-American black woman.

Speaker 4 29:41

That's what I'm saying, but that's all.

Speaker 1 29:42

It wasn't religious or it's just People did it. I don't know If someone please comment.

Speaker 4 29:48

If someone please tell me the origination of that, why, yeah that you don't get in water? I?

Speaker 3 29:53

am so confused. But the hygiene. And then I've had another incident where, first of all, you already know, when we go to events and stuff, the women's line is always so long. Oh yeah, and this was back in my clubbing days. I used to love to party. Everybody cute and, I hate to say it, it was always that real, real cute one that it seemed like all the dudes wanted that you would come behind them in the bathroom. I don't like to stand in lines and unless I seriously have to go, I will hold it because I don't like to smell everybody before me.

Speaker 3 30:29

Everybody's hygiene ain't the same everybody's hygiene ain't the same.

Speaker 1 30:34

When they're in there they don't dispose of things like they're supposed to.

Final Goodbyes to Our Cycles

Speaker 3 30:37

I've gone into the bathroom and had to pee and walked right back out. Just because I didn't into the bathroom and had to pee and walked right back out just because I didn't want the person behind me to think that smell was me. I've done that. I've done that. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 30:53

I'm going to just wait, I'm going to hold out until everybody gone. I'll come while the show is happening and stuff. I'm just going to miss something because you always think it's the person that just walked right out the bathroom, but all the mixtures of smells and everything. So I don't miss the, because I was always so paranoid about my hygiene, especially during my cycle, to make sure that everything was right.

Speaker 3 31:19

And then look, I've had another incident where it was a young lady, that it was only her. It was an office and she went to the restroom and then I came behind her and I was like what, what's? What's, something's going on? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm on my period no, sweetheart, that's called an infection.

Speaker 4 31:35

Oh god, like that's not your period should not smell like that.

Speaker 3 31:39

Right, you know what I'm saying so the one of the things I love about menopause is not having to worry about the period, the hygiene of the period and all that stuff too, Because, again, everybody's hygiene is not the same and we were not all taught the same?

Speaker 4 31:53

Apparently not, and I think, everybody's pH balance. I know everybody's pH balance is the same there might be certain pads that will affect your pH. I think they started having scented pads. Everybody can wear scented pads. Yeah, I never wore scented stuff.

Speaker 3 32:07

I don't want to smell perfume mixed with everything else.

Speaker 4 32:10

But that's just like my deodorant. I didn't want no smells to come out. Yeah, I don't want nothing or scented.

Speaker 3 32:14

Yeah, I don't want any of that, but, charisse, did you have something prepared for you?

Speaker 2 32:20

I don't have anything prepared. You don't have a planner, so you know by the time you said that, thing, I know.

Speaker 3 32:24

I know.

Speaker 2 32:24

But what I could say about just that part is that I thank you for allowing me to give life to my three beautiful daughters.

Speaker 3 32:36

Yes, we birth nations. Look, you don't even need to write nothing.

Speaker 2 32:41

But bitch bye, because I just didn't like any of it, even though it was two days. It's everything we just said, just the planning. And oh, I bought this cute white swimsuit. Okay, well, she came and damn, this is my vacation day. I didn't know about taking those pills, but you know what I mean. They might not even have had that when we were.

Speaker 4 33:01

That's true.

Speaker 2 33:02

So you know, it's just like oh, I'm going on vacation, and then you know if you're taking off with your boo thing you've got to kind of the whole thing, is changed, that'd be the

Speaker 2 33:12

worst and think about all of the women that you know you got your anniversary or they're getting married. You can't change it. Anniversary or they getting married, you can't change it. You don't know that far in advance when you're planning. So you know what back I I just I don't miss it at all. It wasn't painful, I didn't go through a lot, but I don't miss it.

Speaker 4 33:31

But I'm grateful for what it allowed to happen in my life, them babies, they brought everybody them girls something else, them feisty girls.

Speaker 2 33:40

Now I'd be like jesus yes, yes, yes, okay.

Speaker 3 33:47

Well, let me remind real quick and do a great to wrap this up. Look, we done sat here and had a whole conversation about our period. Okay, dear period girl, we done for real this time. You've been showing up uninvited for years and I finally had enough. I don't know who told you we was in a lifelong situationship, but, baby, I'm free now. Yes, yes. First of all, I can finally wear white without feeling like I'm playing russian roulette. No more side eye in my pants all day. No more emergency jacket wraparounds. I'm strutting in my white with confidence now. Period Not included oh, the wraparound. And let's talk about the way you used to block my blessings. Oh what? Specifically in the bedroom.

Speaker 2 34:32

In the bedroom.

Speaker 3 34:32

Oh my God, Every time I was trying to get some here you come with your drama. You was the biggest cock blocker in my life and, I'm not gonna lie, I resented you for it. Oh, and I'm so glad I don't have to carry them raggedy tampons in my purse. No more you ever had one of those things fall out in front of a fine man at the checkout line.

Speaker 2 34:56

That's why, when you said that, I started laughing embarrassing.

Speaker 3 34:59

So now my purse is classy and tampon free. Classy like me, and don't even get me started on them. Busted period panties, you know, the ones faded, stretched out, looking like they've been through a war girl, I threw them in the trash with you. I'm back in my sexy, high cut lacy drawers, living my best life, cheeks sitting real pretty.

Speaker 2 35:23

I'm back in my sexy high-cut lacy drawers Living my best life.

Speaker 3 35:28

Cheeks sitting real pretty. So yeah, it's been real. It's been real toxic. I wish you well, but I'm good and I'm over it. Me and my hormones are still trying to figure out some things, but at least you're gone, so there's no love loss.

Speaker 4 35:42

This is from a grown-ass fine-ass free-ass woman, freaky ass, yes, yes, good job.

Speaker 3 35:53

Y'all know y'all crazy. Thank y'all for joining me on this.

Speaker 2 35:56

I think she said y'all know, y'all crazy, y'all knew it, your stuff was just as crazy and funny as mine.

Speaker 3 36:01

Y'all crazy, Y'all be like what?

Speaker 2 35:59

Because y'all stuff was just as crazy and funny as mine.

Speaker 3 35:59

It was funny as mine, but you know, thank you for the period for the daughters, thank you for the children.

Speaker 1 36:10

But other than that bye bitch.

Speaker 4 36:15

This is Legra with.

Speaker 1 36:16

Timeless and Unfiltered. This is Stephanie, this is Sharice and this is Evanya.

Speaker 3 36:20

We are spilling the tea on midlife. One laugh at a time Bye.