Growing Up, Life & Love Lessons, and the Power of Self-Love

In this powerful episode of Timeless & Unfiltered, host Leggra talks with s Stephenye about growing up, navigating life and love lessons, and discovering the power of self-love after 50. If you're looking for inspirational conversations for women over 50, real talk about healing, growth, and self-worth, and the unfiltered truth about midlife transformation, this episode is for you.

💬 Topics We Cover:

Growing up and finding your voice

Learning (and unlearning) love

Lessons life teaches us the hard way

Self-love as a daily practice

Embracing midlife with grace and power

💖 This episode is for every woman who’s ever had to start over, find herself, and love herself fiercely.

✨ Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for more unfiltered conversations every Tuesday.
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Transcript

Military Kid to Akron Culture Shock

Speaker 1 0:00

You get to know Stephanie , stephanie , stephanie . So I do know that you were a military kid , yeah , so let's talk about your childhood . What's it like being a military ?

Speaker 2 0:09

I allow people to love me on their terms and you can't tell someone how to love you , but I want to be loved on my terms . The wisdom that we need to go further , because a lot of things that I've been through I've taken lessons from it . Like I had to fall and figure it out and get back up . Okay , let's go , let's go . This is Legra . This is Stephanie .

Speaker 1 0:41

This is Cherie and this is Ivanya . This is Stephanie . This is Cherie and this is Ivanya . And this is Timeless and Unfiltered , where we are spilling the tea on midlife . One laugh at a time , hello , hello , hello , hello . Welcome to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered . I am Lekra and I am Stephanie , and you may notice there is nobody else on the couch but the two of us .

Speaker 2 1:13

We didn't kick them to the curb , we didn't kick them to the curb .

Speaker 1 1:15

We wanted to do an episode where you guys kind of get to know us a little bit better , yeah , so we wanted it to feel a little more intimate . So today we're gonna have a conversation with stephanie . Oh , it's stephanie . Stephanie , you and I go way back , but we don't go way back which ?

Speaker 2 1:35

is funny .

Speaker 1 1:35

It's like we go way back , but we don't go way back I'll talk about how I guess how we met , or our relationship , or how do you know , I'm not exactly sure .

Speaker 2 1:44

So I I tell people I'm like , yeah , I'm hanging out with my Akron crew , because I have different friend groups , yes , here in Atlanta . And I'm like , yeah , I'm hanging out with my Akron crew and I'm like , wait , who's the Akron crew ? And the Akron crew was you , kyra and your sister . Yes , so I was like that was my Akron crew . So I met you guys through Kyra .

Speaker 1 2:05

I guess . So well , first of all , look we both .

Speaker 2 2:08

Well , I guess you can't say exactly , being from Akron Ohio no , but yeah , we went to the same high school for a period of time , were you ?

Speaker 1 2:17

there when I was there ?

Speaker 2 2:17

no , okay , I was already gone , yeah but I heard of you and like Kyra because you guys were like yeah , and you guys were like the girl legends like , yeah , they were cold , they were the cold girls , so I had heard of you guys , okay and I would see you all in passing like , oh , that's being an underclassman no , like if there was events that you guys went back to games and stuff oh yeah , we would come home every once in a while . Yeah , yeah , so okay because no , you guys were in college y'all left .

Speaker 1 2:50

Well , we know we have a connection somewhere and it comes from Akron Ohio .

Speaker 2 2:53

We don't know exactly how but then you know years and years later we're both now in Atlanta .

Speaker 1 2:59

Yeah , and we both . Well , I had lost track of kyra for years , because even after high school she went to school . I went to a different school and at one point our schools played each other so we were able to connect again . But then of course , we everybody life , life happens , yeah and then we didn't see each other again and I'm not even sure how we connected .

Speaker 1 3:22

I'm not even sure how we connected once we got back down here , but I'm glad we did right , and that's what I tell and then you were friends with Kyra , yeah okay , kyra , and and yeah , yeah that's so funny . Like you know , it's just full circle now .

Speaker 2 3:37

But I tell people , as big as Atlanta is , it's really not that big , it's not . It's smaller pockets of people and smaller circles of people . So we were going to inevitably , I guess , run across each other's paths some at some point , and it's so funny .

Speaker 1 3:51

I remember when I first moved to Atlanta I think I was downtown somewhere and somebody said Hooper .

Speaker 2 3:57

I was like because he used to call me that in high school sometime and I was like I know ain't nobody okay , they came , not they're not talking to me and they said it again and I remember turning around .

Speaker 1 4:08

I can't remember who it was , but it was somebody I knew from high school and I was like I love that , oh you know I just I was downtown , but anyway , um , somehow we have connected yes , we have again , and you know , between all of our old school concerts oh yeah , we like to go to Our geriatric concerts Because baby people get old oh my goodness Well , I had the blessing of , not too long ago , going to a concert with my son Went to see Cowboy Carter tour with Beyonce and I remember sitting there thinking boy .

Speaker 1 4:41

This is really different of how concerts we used to go to . Ours were one a lot smaller .

Speaker 2 4:49

They weren't Well no , I went to a Janet concert back then . Hers was cold like the answer . Okay , I'm sorry .

Speaker 1 4:56

Janet is somebody else . Okay , because Janet is cold . Janet is different . Janet , beyonce , that's different . Okay , yeah , but I remember concerts felt more intimate . I guess they Beyonce , that's different . But I remember concerts felt more intimate . I guess they were you know , and you felt almost connected with the artist , so it was a little more intimate and stuff . And I remember sitting in the stadium going , wow , this is so nice .

Speaker 1 5:13

And then even the theatrics and the technology and the . You know we all had the little bands on . I loved how she controlled the environment . We had these little bands on and they light up . So when she wanted the stadium to be red , all our bands were . Our little things was red and when she wanted it white .

Speaker 2 5:29

It was white when she wanted it blue , they were blue .

Speaker 1 5:32

So when you came in , they put these little thing , gave you these little bands and had the cowboy carter band on it , and you didn't do anything . It just lit up when she wanted it to . It was amazing , that is so . So I was like , oh come on technology , so I was looking at him . You know , my , my son was looking at at uh , beyonce , I was looking at everything .

Speaker 2 5:52

I was like oh wow , this is wow , this is you know , yeah our concerts were , you know , very simple .

Speaker 1 5:58

They just don't stage right there , yeah , and we just right there with that was our concert , but was our concert . But yeah , so I know , with your love of music , what I know about Stephanie is Stephanie loves to dance , stephanie loves to sing , stephanie loves music . She's always a big , bright , bubbly ball of energy . Ball of energy when she comes in the room . But we want to get to know , but we want to get to know , we want to get to know , stephanie , stephanie , stephanie . So I do know that you were a military kid , yeah , so let's , let's talk about your childhood . What's it like being a military ?

Speaker 2 6:36

we moved around um every couple of years , I think , maybe every two to three years . Both of my parents were in the air force , so in the air force , yeah we both move around a lot , but we were primarily based on the West Coast . So when I came to Akron , I migrated from the West Coast to Akron and I was different . Well , first of all , west Coast to Akron Ohio was a lot , lot and it was literally a culture shock like I had never seen so many black people in my life .

Speaker 1 7:09

Oh okay , when I enrolled in high school to where I was like and my grandma also went to John R Bookdale high school , which was a predominantly black high school .

Speaker 2 7:20

You went to the blackest of the blackest , and it was such a culture shock to me that I , like mentally , couldn't deal with it , and so my grandmother had to pull me out of school for a minute and then she put me back in and I went and was like , ok , this is , this is , we're going to see how this is . And I remember it was a lot to me and when I walked into the cafeteria I had the tray and I was like I'm probably like 60 pounds in a ninth grade . I'm really tiny and I'm like and it was two girls that were like , come , come , sit with us and they were upperclassmen okay , and it was Aaliyah Dawson and Heather Maxwell , and they were like little .

Speaker 2 8:02

I remember their names , I remember them and they just like took me under their wing because I'm just like I don't know what to do . It was just gosh and they were just my friends and just it was great , um , but my vernacular coming I was like such a valley girl and I'm like so you guys like want to hang out ?

Speaker 2 8:22

I got beat up a lot , oh , oh , that's what . I got jumped so much and and it's really up . And I'm gonna say it's up because , like I said I was like 60 pounds . I was very tiny and it would be the upperclassmen girls . It would be like five at a time jumping on me because for whatever reason , some , some boy looked at me or liked me and I didn't understand that either .

Speaker 1 8:48

That's how it always happens .

Speaker 2 8:49

I'm new , what is and from where I came from in Colorado , I was okay wait a minute how'd you get to Colorado ?

Speaker 1 8:57

wait a minute .

Speaker 2 8:57

That's the west coast . I grew up between Arizona , california , colorado okay , okay that little . We were just stationed , we moved around , but when I migrated from Colorado to Akron , and then the thing with what you consider a valley girl , it was just my vernacular , I was just more proper , or I was just proper it comes out every once in a while it does , and I hear that people like , oh , there goes that .

Speaker 2 9:26

And I'm like , oh my god , it comes out

Learning to Fight Back

Speaker 2 9:30

. It comes out every once in a while , but I just felt that it was just . It was never fair . Um , if a boy like me it was . That's why I said Akron was like the worst five years of my life , which is so . I hate that for you . I got beat up so much Like the ninth grade to where my grandmother had to pull me out of John R Buchtel and send me over to Central Howard where it was more diverse .

Speaker 2 9:53

Yeah , it was very diverse over there , because I was like Griffin of the Month in the ninth grade Because I was like I strive to maintain my academic level . I was just like all the white administrators at John . They loved me and I worked in the office . They were like , come hang out in the office because they've seen the kids picking on me a lot and they're like she ain't even from here Y'all messing with this little girl . And they always had me in the office helping them out just to keep me out of the hallways . It was now , jack people up now . I loved high school . It was um , but I went to central howard and I hung with some people that taught me how to fight . So now , now you that , now you , that girl , what . I was able to go back to booktube .

Speaker 2 10:38

I was like I wish somebody would mess with me at this so you ended up going back to the yeah yeah , okay , I just went 10th grade central howard learned a couple of ones and then I was always fighting in the streets , now you know , outside of , and then I started dancing , hip-hop dancing okay when , I got back to um booked old chastity right was like when I was in the hall .

Speaker 2 11:00

She's like you look like you could dance and I was like I don't know , and then I wound up joining a girls group with her . So now we're opening up pep assemblies , winning the talent shows . We're traveling to , like the what was it sand run the african festival yeah we're dancing . So now people know me as , oh , she's a dancer and people really stop kind of messing with me because now I kind of made a name for myself .

Speaker 1 11:21

I'm the girl that dance .

Speaker 2 11:23

You know we're opening for men at large and laverde and x clan like we're doing like big stuff yeah we was cold . We was cold , um , we was cold . What happened ? I got pregnant , you little fast ass . And so , the crazy thing about it

Pregnancy Changes Everything

Speaker 2 11:40

, I got pregnant . I didn't start my menstrual till 17 , which was people consider yeah , that's late . That is late for and the first time I had sex , I got pregnant . Oh , wow , jesus , the first time , the very first time I had , and it wasn't even worth it because we struggled so bad .

Speaker 2 11:58

I was like how did that happen ? Because we struggled so bad . But we had literally just went to Boston and performed at an Orchard Park rec center where new addition was discovered . And so this scout was there and was like , oh , oh , I want to work with you girls , and he was building a girls group and it was like five of us that went up there to perform , but he only wanted me and Chastity at the time .

Speaker 1 12:20

And I was like dog man .

Speaker 2 12:22

But he had some other girls and he wanted to combine us into a girls group .

Speaker 1 12:25

That's how that usually works , yeah .

Speaker 2 12:26

Yeah , and then when we were up there at 2 o'clock in the morning I'm like God , I want some Chinese food and some pizza Didn't dawn on me that I was pregnant . I'm doing the backflips and Sammy grow up and performing , doing all the little stuff , and didn't know that my high-end pops was pregnant . And then we got back home and I told Chaz I was like you know , I miss my period , and she's like well , let's go to Planned Parenthood . And we skipped school that day . Oh wow .

Speaker 2 12:50

She went with me to Planned Parenthood and I took the pregnancy test and the lady was like , oh , I think you're in the clear and you start wearing protection . And I was like , ok , oh , so you came back negative . Nothing showed up on the thing .

Speaker 1 13:02

It was too soon .

Speaker 2 13:08

So , I was like yeah , hall and she's like I need to talk to you . So Chassie's like , did you leave something in there ?

Speaker 1 13:13

And I was like I don't know .

Speaker 2 13:14

So they told you you were negative , that you weren't pregnant , and then called you didn't even make it down the hall , it was a faint line that started showing up . She was like I said oh my God and my coat , and I walked out , sad like the 90s sitcom challenge , because I was really like on the sitcom and I walked out with my coat and I was looking . She said what , why you look like that , I said . She said I'm pregnant and chastity , I didn't cry , I didn't do nothing , I was just like oh my god , I'm pregnant . Chastity cried . She's like you f***ed up the group baby when I tell you that was all that lady was worried about cause she's like this is our chance to blow up .

Speaker 2 13:56

And you messed it up . And she ran down the street crying and went and talked to me on the bus and I was like so it didn't go anywhere . At that point we didn't blow up . But that didn't stop the talent and my drive to try to do anything and that's why I wound up in Atlanta , because I would come down here and notice that I was like man , there's a bunch of people that look like me and they're young and they're doing it and they got cars and it's just , you know , I'm going to a club , ain't nobody fighting like it was just all love .

Speaker 2 14:27

This is in the 90s , so I'm just like , oh so that's what made you come down , baby ? As soon as I got out of high school well no , because I started some mess in Akron , my grandma sent me to California . You got to go and I was like , so I got sent back to California .

Speaker 1 14:43

No , did you have a baby at this time , so you and the baby got sent back to California .

Speaker 2 14:49

The port of California . My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California . And what ? Deported to California . My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California . And what I realize now in hindsight , my dad , I was 19 . So my dad was 39 and he has a teenager , now a grandchild , and this teenager that was off the chain because now she learned how to fight and she talked messed to dudes and chicks and she's like yeah , yeah , yeah , just just this is you ?

Speaker 1 15:13

Yeah , I'm assuming , okay .

Speaker 2 15:15

I started a whole bunch of mess man , and so now in California it's synonymous for gangs , yeah , Gangs . So he like oh , how do I keep this ?

Speaker 1 15:26

girl , he don't know what to do with you at this point .

Speaker 2 15:28

And he just kept trying to keep me locked up in the house . Bless his heart and I get it . But I was like yeah , I'm not doing this . And one day I called a friend down in Atlanta , was like hey , can I come down there for a minute ? And me and a baby , because this was her niece and she was like girl come on .

Speaker 2 15:46

And then , um , one day he went to work , I got it and I actually my second baby daddy . He was coming to see me in California and he had sent me money . He was like yeah , I'm gonna come check you out or whatever . And he sent me money and I used that money to buy a ticket and to come to Atlanta . And he done went out to California . He like where is she at ? And my dad like I don't know .

Speaker 1 16:06

She left and then he called my grandma and grandma like she in Georgia you do , know , do know you and I just had a conversation before we came on camera and I said , Stephanie , you need to put these stories to music or something , Because what I tell you , my girl got stories , I got stories , you got stories for days .

Speaker 2 16:26

My life , my life , it's just so . That's how I came to Atlanta and then my goal was . Goal was oh , I'm gonna be a rapper and an interior designer , because I went to Akron U for a year for architecture and interior design okay , I was like yeah .

Speaker 2 16:40

I'm gonna do interior design and my goal was to get the athletes down here . So I was like I know these basketball players and football players they houses don't look like nothing because they're dudes . So I was like I'm a network with the athletes and be like , hey , let me decorate your house and in the meantime I'm going to try to be a rapper and blow up . And that didn't happen . My album is still on the shelf , so , but you did cut an album . No , not really .

Speaker 2 17:06

I was running around with somebody that said they were putting me on , that was on the label and he had me running around with him and I'm like but I think you just want me to run around , be cute with you . And then I did try . I still was like dancing . I tried out for it to be a background dancer . I was a fill-in for Blackstreet and then I tried out to be a Hawks cheerleader and I felt like I was too dark .

Speaker 1 17:33

I didn't know all of this about you .

Speaker 2 17:35

I think I was too black back in the day in the 90s Because I got through

Journey to Atlanta

Speaker 2 17:40

two rounds and they'd be like oh , cut .

Speaker 1 17:42

I'm like oh , oh yeah , but that's more . I was going to say so . You were a cheerleader too , but that's more dancing .

Speaker 2 17:53

It's dancing , dancing , like the dancing . But I was a cheerleader in um Colorado . That was little kid stuff and that's what I was going to say . My point is , when I migrated from Colorado and on the west coast , I was still in junior high . Okay . So to come to Akron and be in high school was like whoa and all the kids were really junior high was part of high school like ninth grade for y'all .

Speaker 2 18:09

Yeah , it was like ninth grade and twelfth . But um , in on the west coast , ninth grade was still in junior high and high school was 10th , 11th and 12th . Yes . So I was like , oh , I'm not an upperclassman here , I'm a lower classman and these people are way bigger than the people I'm used to seeing .

Speaker 1 18:26

Well , if you were 60 pounds , everybody was bigger than you yeah , I was tiny , oh well , I hate that you have that experience , but part of all of these things and all of these stories is what has grown you to , what is built character yes , and who you are now . Well , one of the things I love about , um , just even hearing your story is like here we are now . What 50 ? Still have the dream , still striving . But not only that , but you're trying to help other people . Oh yeah , with theirs , so tell me about .

Speaker 2 19:02

The artistry ? Yeah , tell us about the artistry , the artistry .

Speaker 1 19:06

First of all , spell it because people don't spell it wrong .

Speaker 2 19:08

It's capital R-T-I-S-T-R-Y

The Artistry Platform

Speaker 2 19:12

.

Speaker 1 19:12

Yes , the artistry . Yes , okay , take the a out of it .

Speaker 2 19:15

Take the a out of it um , and what I tell people is that I moved to atlanta to pursue my dreams of being a star and we didn't have the platforms that they have now with social media and things of that sort . I was like I was literally out looking like a fool , dancing everywhere , everywhere and I'm just like yeah , yeah , and I'm like , oh , I just did some stuff , man , it's so .

Speaker 2 19:40

I was like this is so different . Now it's so different and I just like to provide a platform because I love talented people , I just love the art of , I love how God gives everybody their talents and their spirits and I was like , oh , this is so great and I love watching it so . I tell people come out , do your thing . And I tell people you know it takes a lot for people to get up here and to do what they do , because you do .

Speaker 1 20:05

You have people come sing .

Speaker 2 20:06

Yeah , they do spoken word , comedians , vocalists , rappers , um , that's pretty much it for now , but I'm like , whatever y'all do , come on out , you know um , but I just like and I just be like . I love looking at the people do their thing .

Speaker 1 20:23

I just think it's so dope okay , how do they , how , how do they find the artistry ? I'm on instagram .

Speaker 2 20:30

I'm under the artistry r-t-i-s-t-r-y . There was somebody else named the artistry . I had to put ink but I'm in the artistry . I'm legally incorporated as the artistry okay , um so , yeah , on tiktok , facebook and instagram , I want to do the the youtube . I feel like I'm so old and out of touch with technology , jesus , because even when I post my videos , I'll have people like you want me to help you with your video . I'm like , yeah , that'd be great because y'all trying to tell me I still look like shit trying to put the people out there .

Speaker 2 21:04

I'm trying to put them out there , but yeah , the artistry , come check us out once monthly follow us okay .

Speaker 1 21:11

So I know your life is such a journey . What would you , what would you want to change about your journey to where you are now ? Or or would you change anything about your journey to where you are now ? I feel ?

Speaker 2 21:23

like I wouldn't change , because I think in one of our conversations on one of the episodes , it's a part . It helps us gain the wisdom that we need to go further , because a lot of things that I've been through I've taken lessons from it . Like I had to fall and figure it out and get back up and , okay , let's go , let's go . And so I've learned a lot and even till today I'm still learning . Yes , I learning never ceases and what I realize is that no one is perfect . We're all going to go through some mess . It's just how you handle it . Yeah , how you , who Jesus ? Yeah , it's how you handle it . Sometimes I want to crash out like Lord Jesus , but it's a part of life and I take it and keep it going , keep it moving .

Dating Struggles at Midlife

Speaker 2 22:22

Well , let's talk about a little more personal , stephanie .

Speaker 1 22:23

You know Stephanie loves love . I do , Stephanie , love love . I want to be in love . Know you do so bad , so bad , so bad that sometimes do you think sometimes you wanting to be in love so bad have tainted your choices ? Yeah , oh , your selection of yeah , yeah , people in your life .

Speaker 2 22:49

Yeah , and I think that's a lesson um , a lesson that I'm learning . I think I I allow people to love me on their terms , and you can't tell someone how to love you , but I want to be loved on my terms . So what I realized is that , instead of just settling for people loving me on their terms , I need to love Stephanie enough to put her foot down and say listen , this is what I . I want to find someone that's in alignment with me and not try to love people into my alignment because I keep getting kicked in the face trying to do that I do , and so , god Jesus , yeah , I just got to find somebody that's in alignment with how I want to be loved , and I swear .

Speaker 1 23:45

I feel like it's simple . We all say that it sounds so simple , but finding that person and let's keep in mind , in mind too , we're in a very small pool that pool got piss and shit right .

Speaker 2 24:00

We're in a very small pool , it's not the same as when we were younger , so finding , finding that person and you know that's sad because you would think people have evolved but a lot of people aren't putting in the work to evolve . Geez , because I'm evolving what you saying . But why you saying like that Because I'm evolving , because I know I got my shit about me . I'm OCD , but not like super crazy . I just want you to wash your hands when you come out of the bathroom .

Speaker 1 24:36

I think that's just standard . No , it's not . It's supposed to be . But I wouldn't say that's making you OCD .

Speaker 2 24:42

You would think that people do , but it's not that freaking common men and women , shit , it's not and I'm like yeah , and so I'm just like this , like germaphobe , so um , yeah , so that might get on somebody's nerves .

Speaker 1 24:59

I'm like so you're not , you're not gonna wash your hands well , first of all , you , I would , you would have to align with somebody that that's just normal for them let's start with that . A lot of times you don't you may not know that right a lot of those things well , we , we have your story from before about the , the basketball shorts and and , yeah , and I didn't know that that was months in , yeah , so it's like , dang , how do you have these conversations with people ?

Speaker 2 25:24

and so , jokingly , I had discussed this with somebody and I was like , yeah , I'm gonna just start asking dudes straight up like , hey , uh , this dad , this dad , this dad . And he said , man , I would , I'd get up and walk away from you . He was like now I tell the other dudes , man , don't go talk to her , she's crazy . And I was like , because I want to not waste your time , I don't want to waste nobody's time . So , listen , do you do this , do you do that ? Do you ? No , okay , we good , let's , let's move forward . And he's like , yeah , I would walk away from you and tell the other dudes don't talk to her , she crazy . And I said it's probably a lot of y''t be that crass , but you know it's you know , yeah , just don't put your hand in my plate .

Speaker 2 26:19

No , and I'm not . Don't get anything right ?

Speaker 1 26:21

no , don't touch me hey dating is hard at this age . It's dating is hard . I don't wish this . I don't wish being single at this age on anybody it's very hard . The dating pool is very small . The um well one . A lot of people are married , whether they are married .

Speaker 1 26:44

You're not , you know happy or not you're , they're married at our age . Um , a lot of us that are single , like you said , a lot of people haven't done the work on themselves or are still carrying things from past relationships and and and things like that . Um , and it's hard meeting people now , um one , I don't know . For me , I think I've become a little bit of a recluse sometimes . I think , like you , we have our circle of friends and you just kind of roll in that circle , so you don't , you don't go to beat , we don't . It's harder to meet people , I think , unless you're doing something virtually and online or what they say . You got to get out in these streets , but I'm , you're in your 50s .

Speaker 2 27:26

I'll be in the streets , baby . I mean you do . I'll go to a bar and it'll be with girlfriends where we're like let's meet up and have a drink , and yeah , I get to drink .

Speaker 1 27:36

I'm chatty , kathy . Baby , I'm very social . I know you are .

Speaker 2 27:39

Hey , it's your food , good sir . Yeah , yeah , um , so yeah I , I , but even with going out , I . I went to an event last night and the men just sit there and stare .

Speaker 1 27:56

Yeah , it's , that's what I'm saying . It's different , it's different . Men used to approach men used to send drinks or um , some of them , that's a few , but it's it's far and few between , yeah , few farm , it's far and few between um , and then I always love like we danced back then . That's why I want to go to ellery's okay , we're gonna have to get you .

Speaker 2 28:20

I tried to go last night we got got there too late .

Speaker 1 28:22

We're going to have to get you over there girl . But I love to , but it wasn't just one place that you would go you could go People dance , even when you go to parties and events and stuff . It's a lot of standing around , not the grown folks .

Speaker 2 28:39

Because even the event last night they was out there jooking , it's just not the same .

Speaker 1 28:49

But you have to go . You would have to be in a , in a space where it is people our age , yeah , yeah , our age , our age . But it's let's talk about this age thing um with dating . Have you dated younger ? Yeah , younger men , yeah , because it seems like now younger . The last relationship I was in , he was four years younger that's still same to me , that's he's still in the he in the range oh , no , younger , my nerves too bad .

Speaker 2 29:14

I just know I had a 39 piece and that still had my nerves . I said , oh , you 39 ? Oh , I just felt like I was just just doing something so wrong . I just I don't know .

Speaker 1 29:25

No , it's , it's , it's weird , it is , it's a little it feels .

Speaker 2 29:29

It feels unnatural sometimes well , and then you're going to have to have your stuff together . Yeah , like I ain't trying to be be funny , because I don't want you to feel like I'm no sugar mama and I just no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no . I just , I don't know . I've always had this thing that you , you could maybe fuck around with somebody younger than you , but I don't know that I would necessarily marry , because in my mind I'm always thinking that as a woman , you're going to get older and our bodies are going to change and this man is still going to be younger .

Speaker 2 30:06

And he's going to want you to try to keep up with him and you're like I can't keep up , and then he's like well , I'm going to go find something younger that can . And I just always , because I just know men , and nine times out of 10 , they just go find something younger and they may not lead a woman or whatever . But she's like I don't feel like it tonight , or I'm , I'm going through menopausal symptoms .

Speaker 2 30:32

I always different and I just he gonna go get something younger and to mess with , so and that's why I was like I can't , I don't want to with them , no , but then you .

Speaker 1 30:36

But then we also have the opposite with men . Our age , yeah , that don't stop them from wanting something younger .

Speaker 2 30:46

I don't know what you're doing with it .

Speaker 1 30:48

It don't matter what they're doing with it .

Speaker 2 30:51

If they want it , they want it Y'all . You on the struggle bus , sir , and you want to run out and try to and you can't .

Finding Alignment vs Attachment

Speaker 2 31:00

Yeah , it's so .

Speaker 1 31:02

So do you still believe in soulmates ?

Speaker 2 31:08

I do , I do with all my heart and with all my soul . And wherever you are soulmate , so you haven't met him yet . I couldn't have , because I'd be with him and be happy and just in love and marry , and I wouldn't be looking for a deaf buddy . I'd have my deaf buddy , my deaf buddy would be here .

Speaker 1 31:26

He would be here . So what ? What would you hope people or want people to know about you ? Um , that I'm the timeless and unfiltered audience that I am a very approachable person .

Speaker 2 31:44

I'm not stuck up , I'm not mean , because , contrary to people look at me , I've had women just look at me like I don't like her . I get that every day Like why , and then it'll take someone else , like have you talked to her ? Like she's like the coolest person . But I just I hate that people look at me and judge me like that and I'm like , I'm so not .

Speaker 1 32:07

Now , why do you ? Why do you think that is that they look at me like that ? Why do you ? Why do you think people have that perception ? I don't know .

Speaker 2 32:13

I think , because I don't walk around smiling all the time and that's why I said you expect me to walk around , and every day , all day . I'm not going gonna do that because at the end of the day , I do have a life . I'm a single parent with three kids . That stressing me out , you know they're , they're grown , they live on their own , but they have their things . I'm still mama . I still have to walk them through things , mentally , emotionally , financially , and I get drained at times , and then I'm still trying to pursue my aspirations and do things , and you know . And then I'm there for my friends if my friends need anything , and then if I'm in a relationship , I'm trying to take care of my partner or whatever , and so a bitch be tired a lot of times Sound like you're being a woman .

Speaker 2 32:57

Yeah , yeah . So I'm not walking around just smiling all the time , but I'm just , maybe I guess I walk around with a resting bitch face until someone says it like hey , hey , girl , and then just , it's just . But I just , I have a lot on my mind all the time my life . So you think it shows , it does the stress shows , and I think that might be why people deem me unapproachable . But I'm not . How are we gonna release ?

Speaker 1 33:22

some stress . How do we relieve stress ? What's your stress reliever , other than that it's in a box under my bed ? Well , that still don't stop you from having a resting bitch face . So what , I'll be happy I'll be happy . Afterward like , oh shit I can start anew start anew you're so crazy happy .

Speaker 2 33:47

But , um girl , you're so crazy . Stress really it's bad , because it shouldn't be a stress reliever . But shopping , when I feel bad , if I'm doing a bunch of stuff for everybody and I'm overwhelmed like I mean go look for some sales and even if it's just one little thing , I buy myself it just , and when it comes in the mail I'm like I feel it's like my dopamine .

Speaker 1 34:10

Shopping , shopping . Yeah , that's my stress reliever . Okay , all right , come on , give me three words to describe who Stephanie .

Speaker 2 34:19

Give me three words A mama , a creative and a hopeless romantic .

Speaker 1 34:28

You are a hopeless romantic . I love , love , buy me love .

Speaker 2 34:33

It is bad because I got people that love the shit out of me .

Speaker 1 34:37

Well , it has to be mutual , it has to be mutual , it has to be mutual , and especially at this stage of life , I think you have to . You got to find someone that not loving isn't enough . It can't just be love we gotta , we gotta like each other .

Speaker 2 34:54

Yeah , we gotta have stuff in common , because I want to ride this life out . It's . It's simple . I just want to travel , eating . We can gain weight . We ain't judging each other , we just gonna . We gonna baby , we gonna start walking , so keep these hearts up . We gonna still be healthy , but I don't want anybody judging me on me aging , and that's why I find a lot of men start judging women after a while , and it's like no hold on man , we all aging and we're all gonna go through stuff , so I just just listened . We could , though , or you do too much , or and I'm like Lord I just ain't everybody's cup of tea , evidently . Um so , alignment versus attachment .

Speaker 2 35:38

I like that alignment versus attachment yeah , because I got more summers behind me than I do ahead , so I just want to ride it out happy and creatively and as a mama girl , you know you're crazy .

Speaker 1 35:57

Well , thank you for sitting down and hopefully we kind of gave our our listeners a little bit of insight as to this lady you are , you know because when we're all four sitting on the couch , you know the conversation , you know we have to make sure the conversation is being spread and sometimes , you know we miss out . Yeah , you miss out on who's . Who's that , that person ? So thanks for sitting down and taking a quick little chat with me on this little episode of timeless and unfiltered who the f is stephanie right , like I was .

Speaker 1 36:27

Like well , who the f is ? Stephanie ? I'm lecra and we are holding it down spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time . Thanks , stephanie . Thanks for watching guys .