Let's Ride w/ Paul Estrada

Motivational Speaker: Stop Chasing Titles, Start Becoming Your Best Self

• Paul Estrada • Season 1 • Episode 28

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A simple moment—a kid feeling overwhelmed by second-grade responsibilities—opens the door to a bigger truth: life keeps asking more of us, and the way we answer shapes who we become. That set the stage for our conversation with Scharrell Jackson, a leader who turned “amazing” from a word into a way of living. From her rise through finance and operations to founding a leadership consulting firm, Scharrell shows why chasing titles is hollow and how becoming your best self pulls titles and opportunity toward you.

We dig into the mindset and mechanics that make growth real. Scharrell breaks down the chain from thoughts to habits—how your self-talk becomes your behavior—and why an honest personal inventory is the first step to confidence. She shares the role of a small, trusted tribe that tells you the truth, and the discipline to study, ship, and negotiate from value. Her time as a single mom of three anchors it all: morning routines that set the tone, systems that replaced guilt, shared responsibility at home, and the hard choices that turned sacrifice into momentum.

A stroke accelerated her pivot from the C-suite to entrepreneurship, sharpening her focus on impact over prestige. Scharrell is direct about what stops most people—fear and confusion—and how to move anyway. Build tools to act while afraid, get crystal clear on your end game, define the problem you solve, and prove your results. If you’ve felt stuck or unsure whether you’re “qualified,” this conversation offers both the inspiration and the blueprint: clarity, courage, consistency.

If this resonated, share it with a friend who needs a push, subscribe for more thoughtful conversations, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—what’s your next brave step?

Paul:

I think lately we've been talking a lot about responsibility. You know what that means?

Adrian:

Yeah.

Paul:

What does it mean?

Adrian:

To be responsible, to take care of your things.

Paul:

Yeah. So you have to do more things. So and we've been talking about it when your sister came, for example, right? Where you kind of have to be more responsible to charge your iPad, your school iPad, make sure that it's in your backpack, make sure that you get dressed by yourself, brush your teeth. So that's all kind of like different responsibility, right?

Adrian:

Have to do a lot of stuff.

Paul:

Yeah.

Adrian:

Like not just tours, but responsibility. Right. And it's it's pretty hard to do all of that.

Paul:

Why is it hard, you think?

Adrian:

Because it's just a lot of stuff to do. Like it it's a lot to do.

Paul:

It's all is it like a lot to remember, you think?

Adrian:

In the second grade, and like this year there's been a lot going on. And like I feel like somehow sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with this when I have to do that.

Paul:

And how do you think mom and dads feel? Because we have a lot of stuff going on. See my It's a lot of responsibility. And that's why I think we kind of asked that everybody in the family just kind of helps a little bit, right? Doing different things. Yeah. So it could be like putting your plate in the sink, right? It could be, um, what are some things you've been doing?

Adrian:

Like, uh, I'll do with the laundry. You've been doing your own laundry, dude.

Paul:

You asked me if you could do your own laundry. Oh, that's responsible, right? You've been helping me kind of build some furniture.

Adrian:

Yeah.

Paul:

And when we asked you to help with uh your sister, you always kind of help. So yeah, I think you know, what if I told you the older you get, the more responsibility you're gonna have?

Adrian:

Yeah, I know.

Paul:

Oh, you know that?

Adrian:

I know that because like the older you get, you're older, and then you'll be able to like you'll you'll you'll like know better and you'll be able to do more stuff.

Paul:

So does having more responsibility is that exciting or does that make you nervous?

Adrian:

Uh it doesn't make you feel any nervous.

Paul:

What does it make you feel like?

Adrian:

It makes me feel like like I don't get a break. I do, but it's just like I'm just like I'm doing this and I'm doing that and I'm doing this and I'm doing that.

Paul:

Does it feel like too much?

Adrian:

Yeah, I'm doing everything. Yeah, sometimes.

Paul:

And you have to do your homework and study for stuff.

Adrian:

Yeah.

Paul:

Well, yeah, so I think just to tell you, uh, when you get older, you actually just get more and more responsibility.

Adrian:

I know.

Paul:

But you know what? I think you get a little bit better at learning how to how to manage it so that you can do everything and not feel like it's too much.

Adrian:

I already have this much uh responsibility because I'm smart.

Paul:

Of course you're smart, but I think you would have this responsibility no matter what. Because we said as you get a little bit older, you're just gonna have a little bit more responsibility.

Adrian:

So I have more right now.

Paul:

You want more? Let's go find you some. I'll go find you some responsibility right now. Hi, everybody. Believe it or not, this marks one year of the Let's Ride podcast. We're 28 episodes in. It's been a lot of fun uh making it and just getting to meet all the different people that we've met and got to interview and ask really in-depth questions about. We interviewed a professional baseball player and survivor man and CEOs and everything in between. And I've just learned a ton. Adrian's learned a ton. I hope you have too. We are gonna take a pause for the rest of this year, start ramping up new episodes, and come back at you better and stronger and better in 2026. So happy new year, everybody, and we'll see you soon. Bye.

Adrian:

I guess we'll be taking pause. So, okay, this is green big time. Bye for right now.

Paul:

Our guest today has built her life and her business around one word: amazing. From starting her career as a bookkeeper to becoming a CFO, a COO, and now the founder of her own leadership consulting firm, she has shown what's possible when you stop chasing titles and start becoming the best version of yourself. But this conversation goes much deeper than career milestones. We talk about raising three kids as a single mom while building a career, navigating fear and self-doubt, surviving a stroke, and discovering that true success starts with clarity, courage, and consistency. If you've ever felt stuck, scared to make a move, or unsure whether you have what it takes to chase the life you want, this episode will light a fire under you. Our guest today is Sherelle Jackson. I'm gonna start with something that stood out to me where there's a lot going on in your background and you know, your your outfit and everything, but the one thing that stands out to me is this necklace that says amazing. So I love that. So let's start there. What's amazing exactly?

Scharrell:

Everything, my life, my destiny, my clarity, everything is amazing. I have to tell you, pause. It's amazing.

Paul:

So when you wear when you wear that, I would imagine you get the response that I'm giving you now. So I saw it right away, kind of just, you know, some Monday morning, uh getting the week started. And I just, I don't know, it's a good reminder. I feel like we're so busy jumping from appointment to appointment, taking care of our families, commuting all over the place. And so I just want to say thank you. I think it's a very nice reminder that we can all have an amazing day. You can interpret it how you will, right? It's an amazing day, an amazing life, an amazing this, an amazing conversation, whatever it is, right?

Scharrell:

Then I end everything with having an amazing day. I start my day off with the fact that it's going to be amazing. I don't just wear it around my neck, but I waited until I got to 50 some years old before I also have a tattoo on my shoulders. Wow.

Paul:

So you're all in for sure.

Scharrell:

I'm all in for living a life that's amazing. Took me a little gear, so I can offer it to people early, then that's a blessing.

Paul:

Well, it's like a it's a mindset, right? I mean, I gotta imagine, I mean, just we we know too that you wake up some days and it's not that amazing, but maybe you know, you're getting ready, you look in the mirror, and you've got these reminders. Is that really what it's about? Is just, is it for yourself or is it for others? Or like when you first took on this concept of amazing, was it for you or for others?

Scharrell:

I think that's mutual. It's mutually exclusive. I believe that I recognize as a leader for so many years that we were focusing. I was focusing on what might have been in front of me or 10 transactions after close, relationships I'm dealing with, thoughts in my head, whatever. But what I recognize is that my life could really exemplify the possibility of what it's like to live a life and align it with the desire and the end game, which is, you know, my proprietary framework as a coach. And I decided that my life was going to be amazing, not that it wouldn't have obstacles or barriers, but that it's all based on to your point, what I decision. And so knowing that there's power in decision, I decided that not only will I make the choice and my life will be amazing, that the space and atmosphere that I step in will bring amazement. And therefore, it's an influence to other people to make that decision, to decide how they want to experience their life.

Paul:

I love it. So for those of you that are just tuning in, pause what you're doing, reset your mind. We're all about to have an amazing episode right here. So I want to jump right. Oh, this is gonna quiet. I want to jump right into it and just doing some research on on LinkedIn. I would say by all accounts, you've had an let's start with the career portion. You've had an amazing career. And I just want to pause for those that aren't aware and just kind of bring people up to speed. I'm gonna just go through a couple steps because I want to show this amazing progression that I saw. So I'm not gonna say the year, I'm not gonna do that to you, but we're gonna take it all the way back. And we are starting all the way at bookkeeper, account manager, controller, vice president, chief financial officer, chief operating officer, principal. So there's this very distinguished and clear sign of progression. When I look at that, I see linear progression, meaning you went this step, this step, this step, this step, and you just show this. It to me on paper, it looks like this rocket ship of a career that you've been on, right? But I guess to the extent, tell me, is that true? And two, what are we maybe missing in that resume? What what were some of maybe one of the ups and downs that you've experienced on that progression to success?

Scharrell:

I think um some yes, it does look like it's just been this escalation or elevation throughout my career up to becoming a partner of a firm and now an entrepreneur owning my own organization. But to your point, what it doesn't show is the process to get there, right? There's a process that on your journey to the top, whatever that looks like, there's a process that you have to go through that doesn't always look like the outcome. That's what's really missing when you are reading the resume and oftentimes the misconception of what it looks like to get there. You can move uh to the top of whatever that looks like for you. But I think we have to also keep in mind that that journey to the top is gonna have highs and lows that are not necessarily described in the resume or the buy level that you're reviewing.

Paul:

If I'm thinking back to Sherelle, the bookkeeper, way back when, right? Did you back then have this grand vision of I'm gonna be a partner, I'm gonna be a business owner? Was that even crossing your mind or that at that time? Or where were you at mentally when you're just starting off your career?

Scharrell:

When I was starting off my career in full disclosure, I don't even think I was thinking about a career.

Paul:

Okay.

Scharrell:

I've always been fairly independent. And I started working very young simply because I wanted independence. I didn't want to have the somebody to have the authority of what I could or couldn't have as a child. And if I wanted to have something, I wanted to have it, so I needed to make my own weight. That was really why I started working. Not even because I had to, but because I wanted to have authority over my own decisions. I also recognized that as a young person, my thought process wasn't I want to own my own firm or I want to be a partner in someone else's firm. It was more about I wanted to use my life to help other people. And so I thought about anything I did, whether I was a bookkeeper, controller, worked in modeling or, you know, worked in fashion or the different places that I worked that I was helping. And quite frankly, I wanted to be a lawyer.

Paul:

Okay. I wanted to go to law school. Was there a moment, so I I'm clear on that part that you just, you know, you wanted to make your money. And so there wasn't maybe that strategy and that vision wasn't there yet. When did that start to how far into your career before that started to crystallize for you a little bit? Of like, okay, this is where I'm at today. This is where I'm trying to go.

Scharrell:

And something that I find myself coaching on is that so often in our life we chase these goals and transactions. And what I didn't know then, that I know now, is that I wasn't really chasing a transaction or a goal. I was living for a process of elevation. And along with the process of elevation, goals were accomplished and are set. But what I did know is that I wanted to be a better version of me. So whenever there was an opportunity to grow, I wanted to capitalize on that opportunity to grow. And as a result of that strategy of execution, it afforded me higher level roles, greater levels of responsibilities, which comes with, you know, the title and the compensation and things of that nature. And most of the time we're looking at, I want to be the next ex. I want to be the CFO or the owner versus I want to be the best version of me and I want to do what it takes to be that. And so I didn't realize as clear as I do now that that was my strategy of execution. But when I look back, I recognize that it was because I never was chasing a title or money. I was living for being the best version of myself and getting a fulfillment of some gaps and how it was that was in my life when I didn't feel that I was the best version, or maybe people didn't see me as the best version.

Paul:

So that's an extremely important perspective because as somebody that manages people, and I'm guilty of this too, by the way, myself. Um, but what I see with with especially younger people that are kind of just coming into their careers, they want the money, they want the title, they want the prestige, they want it now, now, now, now, now. And a lot of I feel like when I'm in these uh people development conversations, is trying to bring them back down. And you said it in a much more eloquent way than I would say it to them. But kind of the same message, which is hey, just focus on learning, focus on growing as a person, focus on these things. If you do and you execute the money, the titles, that will come. And I just feel like a lot of people are they just they don't have the patience for it. And I didn't, and again, I I didn't share the years as I was going through your progression, but we're talking about several decades, people. So this is not like this is something that uh she was like an overnight. Okay, you said it, not me.

Scharrell:

But but I'll be 60 in January, so I'm proud.

Paul:

There you go, guys. Okay, so you know what I'm saying? It's just like I just think that there's this becoming more so this culture of instant gratification, and just you know, I think you're bringing us back down to earth. And it's easy to say that, right? So I don't know how you kind of go about practicing those things, right? So, any do you have any thoughts on how we can kind of put that into practice?

Scharrell:

You know, one of the things that I recognize is that first we need to focus in on our own belief system about ourselves, which goes back to your comment about the necklace. We don't actually see ourselves as valuable, worthy, and so we need to be affirmed by others, whether it's title and money. But if we can get ourselves to a place where the way that we speak to ourselves is in alignment with who we actually are becoming, and we're willing to do the work in alignment with that becoming, and we can trust that our offering to ourselves will also catapult into our offering to others, and then everything else comes. So it's not that we don't know the power of negotiating for a role and a job title. But when you are light, when you are qualified, when you do bring the best, the money comes. Nobody wants to skip over the star player that's not gonna win the game but take him home to get the read. Right. So if they recognize that that's who you are because that's what you're bringing to the table, based first on the contributions that you made to yourself, you don't have to chase the money, right? Because your qualifications think for itself.

Paul:

I think everything sounds, I feel like as I'm saying this, it just I'm overly simplifying, but we're saying there's belief in yourself, which again you hear about it constantly. It's almost like but I think taking it a step further and and helping people figure out how do I practice these things? I believe in myself. I could say that. But I'm just saying that, right? Or do I actually believe what I'm saying? How do we bring those things together? How do we get people to understand that you've gotta just I don't know what the secret sauce is, but like what are those steps that we have to take?

Scharrell:

I would say first, it is being honest with yourself on whether or not you do, because I didn't always believe in myself. I had no self-esteem. I just was an overachiever. But the reconciliation between getting to that place first where I recognize that I'm enough and who I am is not validated by what other people say about me is work within itself. You first have to be able to take your own personal inventory about how do you feel about yourself and where do you see yourself in as you continue to evolve through life. So you gotta take the personal inventory first. And then once you've taken the personal inventory in terms of practical steps, you have to be willing to do the work, whether it is what you say to yourself, understanding that the brain works based on what we tell ourselves. What we tell ourselves literally is what we believe. What we believe dictates how we behave, and how we behave creates habits, and our behavior protects our habits. If we literally want to become something different, it starts with what we say to ourselves. But the other component of that, looking at reconciling how you actually do see yourself and feel about yourself, understanding how you speak to yourself versus and whether or not it's aligned with who it is that you really want to be or you're becoming, and then taking a step to actually get the support, the tribe, the coach, the mentor, the therapy, the bench strength on the team, the people that you give permission to tell you the truth, so that the navigation to that process of evolution is one where you're not thinking that you can just self-accountable because you've got habits about the way you speak to yourself and the way you show up. But there's people you give permission to tell you the truth. They're vested in your elevation. And so I think that in order to get to that place of change, that place of belief, the elevation of confidence, there are some steps that you have to take. How you speak to yourself, what you practice, the way you execute your days, who's on your teeth to help you get there and win. And then do the work. Are you taking the courses? Are you doing the work? Are you making the sacrifices? Are you going to school? Are you doing a professional development? Look, you can't just wake up and decide, I want to make $100,000 because I just do. What quantifies you for that, right? Yeah.

Paul:

So let's take some of the, I think that what you're saying is a lot of concepts. And I want to take that into some real world examples so people can kind of put both those pieces together. When you and I first spoke, you were sharing with me a story about we were talking about your career trajectory, and then we were talking about in the context of your personal life, which was I I believe you said you had raised three boys. Is that right? By yourself as a single mother, right? And so I was asking, like, well, how the heck did you prioritize all these things? So we talked a lot of concepts, but let's bring it into you, let's go back to that part of your life and just talk a little bit through how you put some of those ideas into practice based on the different challenges you were facing early on in your career.

Scharrell:

One of the things that I did is aligned with what I just said. There were other people that I had watched do some of the things that I wanted to do, and I asked for help. Okay. That's the first thing. And the help wasn't necessarily somebody physically being there, but it was gaining input and insight from others similar to what you're offering your audience. And I asked for the help, not to validate whether I was doing the right thing, but to elevate what I was doing in order to get the outcome I was.

Paul:

So who is let's start there? Like, who is this? Was this a specific person that you're thinking to? And who was this person? A myriad of people. Okay, a couple different people. Right, right, right. How did you identify those people? It's like, hey, this is somebody I want to learn from. And like if you could talk through maybe a specific example with the person in mind that that you gravitated towards.

Scharrell:

So there's a woman I know who had five children, and she's probably about 10 years my senior. And I watched her navigate through raising those children. I watched her have this amazing career. There's another woman who was my mentor into her passing at Euroboat, and I watched her operate in a male-dominated world, and I watched her sword her career and do it with grace and humility. There was a gentleman in my life who's still my mentor. And um actually I'm having lunch with him today. And I watched him um elevate with the power of influence. So even though each of those individuals had a different component of success, that I watched a single mom, a career elevation, leading and supporting and creating impact, those were individuals that I knew that I admired what they were doing, but I wanted to know how they did them and how they did it with such a level of success. So I went and I asked for that help. And that was one of the things that I did in order to ensure that I had the blueprint instead of trying to figure it out.

Paul:

I'm smiling over here because it just brought back a memory for me. And well, first I'm I'm just envisioning you, you know, sitting in your office just kind of scoping out everyone saying, Hey, how can I I like this trait from this person and I like this from the right? Because you mentioned a couple of different people and identifying these skills or these traits um that you wanted for yourself and then going out and getting those. And that that just reminds me of a very, very similar story. And that was there was this individual that I worked with that was known as the best negotiator in the in the organization. He anytime he touched a project, it's like it turned to gold. Like the guy just identified value and savings, and then he'd put that out in a big email and celebrate his win. And you know, so there were certain components of it where we're saying, Oh gosh, this guy is just a self-promoter and what. But then as I looked around, I'm like, people saw the value that this person was bringing to the organization. And I was kind of watching him from afar, like you were. And then I remember one day I went into we were doing these quarterly updates, and he goes up there to give a presentation on the future state of his organization. So it was an org chart and it had him at the top, and then it had all the people filled in on his team, but there was one vacancy and it just said TBD. And immediately something clicked for me, and I walked out of that meeting and said, I'm that TBD because I see this person. I need to learn from him business. There's so many things. This mentor that he doesn't even know he's gonna be for me. But I saw that operation and I walked away. I literally went up to him. I said, Hey, can we go out, get a drink? You know, what I just really want to talk to you. I think that same week we went out and I said, Hey, here's my intention. I saw you have this opening. I'm gonna put my name there. If you'll have me, I'll come in, I'll come work my tail off for you. That's exactly what I did. I spent the next five years working on him. I never went and got my MBA, but I joked today that I got an MBA from him because he was just that good, right? And it really has shaped a lot of how I do commercial negotiations today, how I operate in a business, how I talk to a certain degree, right? I can really trait trace back to him. So sorry that's a long-winded story, but I just kind of wanted everyone to kind of hear it.

Scharrell:

It's phenomenal, though. It's phenomenal. And quite frankly, sometimes it it happens as a result of ambition. Sometimes it happens as a result of pain. You know, there are times where you, I was navigating through my life and I was in pain. And I didn't want to be in pain and I didn't know how to get out of pain. And for a lot of single arms or individuals that's juggling a lot of noise and no white space on the calendar and trying to make the demands of operating in technology and raising kids and in relationships, people are hurting. And it's not always because I want to get to the next. It's I just don't even want to hurt anymore. And so as you find that there are individuals in your life who are living a life in alignment with where you might even want to just experience your life in a place of joy or peace, high-level elevation, really living the life that they choose. We got to push past that first thing before we can ask, and that's be it. Because a lot of people are too scared to even ask.

Paul:

It's funny you say that because I've taken an opportunity to go, let's say, meet with our interns or go to my university and talk to the students. And I always leave it with, here's my contact information. Right. Feel free to reach out. Guess what? Nobody reaches out. So either one of two things is true. I didn't have anything meaningful to say, and so they don't want to talk to me. Or two, to your point, they're just, and for my ego, I'm gonna say two, which is they just don't have it in them to want to take that step to go make that happen for themselves.

Scharrell:

When a lot of people feel insecure, they're not comfortable and sharing their gaps, they don't feel safe because somebody else exposed them or any betrayed them. And so I think building that loyalty and trust, even when I'm doing something like this, I always tell people if there's a way that I can support you, reach out, because I only one of the primary ways that I was able to get to where I am in my life today is because of the support of others. When they offered it, I stepped across the line and said yes, even though I was afraid. Right. Because for me, it wasn't just wanting to be better, it was wanting to get out of paid and wanting to be in a place where I not only was elevating, but I was doing it with a level of joy and peace.

Paul:

And going back a little bit on that career journey part, you know, and I want to touch on this because it's I feel like people have these grand visions in their head of what they want for themselves. Then they start to recognize how much work goes into it. And so then you start making excuses, right? And so you could have easily made the excuse of, hey, I'm a single mom. I've got three boys that I'm trying to raise, and I'm trying to have this career. So for those that are making excuses, I would love for you to just kind of shed a little light into that period of your life and how you were juggling trying to be the successful businesswoman while also, you know, raise a family. Like what went into that? Give us some detail.

Scharrell:

What I will say is this look, I have clarity now on what it takes to get to what I call your end game. And it requires, first and foremost, the decision. First, you've got to make the decision that you actually want it versus you want to avoid what it takes to get there. I think oftentimes we're trying to cure the symptom versus actually the problem. And so we gotta decide first what do you actually want so that what you're chasing is in alignment with what you want. And then from there, when I decided that I wanted to have a life that had a specific legacy tied to it, not just for myself and what the world saw as a career, but for my children and what I could do for the world. And once I made that decision, I also had to commit to the fact that it's gonna require a lot of sacrifice. So what I tell a lot of young people is that I wasn't taking worldwide trips and spending money eating at the high end restaurants and and doing all of the things that everybody wants to do in my 20s and 30s because I was setting up for my future. So sacrifice comes with it. And then I also had to make the commitment and accept the fact, as I say to my daughter, because I do, I later God was gifted me with a daughter who had come through the foster care system. And I say to my daughter that I am never, I never avoid telling people that you've got to also accept the fact that it's hard. The thing is we want to do it, but we want it to be easy. It's not easy. It's hard.

Paul:

Yeah, and you were giving me the example of coming home from work and you said, you know, you would go in your room and just kind of change and kind of read. So can you just talk us through? Because I just found that part really fascinating. And if you could talk us through that.

Scharrell:

Literally, from a process perspective, you know, I start my day off the same way my kids even know the songs. I'm a spiritual, I'm a Christian. So I start my day off with the Lord. So I have to order my steps in the morning before I do anything, before I introduce myself to the world. I've got a reset on who I'm gonna be and how I'm gonna show up. Hence amazing, right? I didn't always have that. But I knew that I wanted to show up as the best version of myself. So I start my day with prayer. I started my day with gospel music, whatever that looked like. I think I shared with you. There were things that I did, I probably shouldn't say, you know, in the middle of the night to be a good parent. You know, I had to grocery shop when my kids was asleep. Can't do that now. But literally, I'd vote my kids in the house and go to the grocery store at four o'clock in the morning while they're stopping all the aisles because I couldn't go to the grocery store with three kids. Don't do that now, but I did do it. You know, and then once my kids were up, you know, breakfast was sort of our time because I didn't know that I was always gonna make it home for dinner. Having breakfast and making lunches and biting tummies and tickling toes, those were the things that I reserved my morning for because my day could get hijacked. And instead of carrying the guilt of, oh my God, I can't be there, I'm gonna be late, I actually capitalized on the time I had in the morning. You know, making breakfast for my children, taking them to school. You know, when my kids came on Brooks Bowl, I think I told you back then, my kids used to fax me their homework. I wasn't at home, but I didn't make the excuses of, oh my God, I feel bad. I leveraged whatever was available to me. Right. But I also had time with my children where we sat down on the bed and we would talk about what's important to them, where do they need mommy to be? And then the other thing is setting a date night. I have multiple kids. Where do I need to be with this child versus that child? And then leveraging, teaching my children to be responsible. My children were participatory in creating a healthy home. My kids washed clothes, they knew how to sort, they put up groceries, they took out trash. I was not their servant, I was their mother. And so I taught them responsibility early. And we all equally contributed to having a very healthy home. Not that we didn't have obstacles and things as a parent, but I realized I couldn't do it all, right? So I introduced them to the concept of I told them I could teach you how to be a good, a good, how to treat women, I could teach you how to be a great citizen. I can teach you how to be a man because I'm not one, right? So I could teach. I did. And we just navigated through life together, but it wasn't a democracy. We're not voting. I'm the parent, you're the child, you have a voice, we'll collaborate, we'll communicate. I want to know how you feel, but ultimately I make the decisions. And going through that process, as I share with you, Paul, it was hard. There was days that I would come home, and the guilt of not being what other mothers that I saw are stay-at-home moms, might plague me for about a minute. But I give myself three minutes. But what I found over time is when my children could tell their own story. Their story would be my mom works. My mom runs a company, my mom, but I was everywhere that I needed to be. I didn't miss a parent-teacher conference, a well baby visit, or that I was at every game, you know, we took family vacations, but I sacrificed a lot. And it was hard, but it was worth it. I mean, they are my greatest accomplishment. So I think that it's not about how do you do it. It's choosing to do it and do it with the level of grace knowing that it's just gonna be hard. It's hard. And it but keeping a clean home. Like I used to clean up at night, you know, picking my time out. I would tell my kids when I get off work, hey, mommy needs 15 minutes. And so they would stand out at the door and wait, right? While I decompressed. Right. So that I showed up, I wasn't anxious, tired, frustrated, mad, but I wanted to show up present.

Paul:

Yeah. I'm married and I've got a wonderful partner in my wife. And I'm just thinking, as you're saying this, thinking it through that lens, which is man, I come home, you know, you make dinner, all the things that you said, and I'm tired too, right? It's like I sometimes you just hey, it's you today. I'm sorry, I didn't I need to go either maybe go for a walk, I need to do something like it's you today. You didn't have something to fall back on, right? And so I guess it's just I'm trying to connect the dots for myself, which is if I had to keep going, like if there was no other choice, then it is what it is. Like I just have to do it. Whereas today it's like if I hit a mental or physical block, it's like, okay, I can take a time out. I have that luxury to be able to do that, right? Um, and so I just think for people, uh, getting back into what maybe that we're more capable than we realize. And like I said, like if I was forced to do it by myself, I probably could. I'm thankful that I don't have to. And like you're you just demonstrated for all of us, it's very possible. It's just, hey, you gotta get in the right headspace and you just gotta you can't make any excuses and you just gotta go. You just

Scharrell:

I think it goes back to what you said earlier when you talked about the trajectory, though. You know, when I know that my children say, I remember when one of my sons put in our group chat that mom's the goat, and I thought it was because of Capricorn. So I was like, Well, the fact that Capricorns are goat and they started laughing. They were like, No, Mom, it's like goat, great ocean of all time. And I was like, Oh, okay, cool. You know, or a client telling me I'm the Oracle. I don't really watch TV. So I had to ask my son, what's the Oracle? You know, playing it all. But what I recognize is that, and all of those things I feel really great about now, but it's because of the choices that I made. Look, Paula, I'm gonna tell you right now, it's not that we're not capable. It's just that we don't really want it that bad. And it's not wanting all of the things. It is actually wanting to be the best version of ourself. And it's wanting to, and it's it's positioning ourselves that we can do it. We tell ourselves we're so saturated with, it's too hard. I can't, I can't, I mean, people can't make a bed and vacuum a house. Y'all don't they don't dust. You know what I mean? It's no disrespect to everybody out there that's struggling to keep their house clean. But if you think about how much time people spend on social media or watching Netfoot series or just browsing around doing nothing, we have the capacity to be more effective and efficient in our time and still enjoy the luxuries of life. But it's how we choose to spend the time that we have. And I didn't have the option of watching a whole lot of TV. And so, which is why now as an adult, I don't watch a lot of TV. But what I do know is I know how to use my time in a way that brings me peace and joy, and that also has set a great example for my children.

Paul:

Right.

Scharrell:

And so I think that's really what it boils down to is what do you do with the time that you have?

Paul:

If you don't think there's enough time in the day, there absolutely is. It's just are you using it effectively? And that's that's really the question. And by the way, cleaning the house, right? So I I was laughing because there's been this pile in the garage that I've been trying to get rid of, right? And I I'll get rid of this box and throw away this thing. And it just seems to like regenerate on itself. Like, you know, look at my wife, I'm like, I literally just spent an hour organizing this, and it just looks like the exact same pile it was before. So that's just me venting. But those are the things, right?

Scharrell:

30 seconds tidbit on that though. I think we'd all go through that until we shift the way that we we think. There's habits. Remember, I told you there's habits in our behavior that we have a habit of facing things. And so to shift that is when something comes up that needs to be done, do it then. Don't put it off, just put it away. Just close the drawer, just clear off the cabinet, just fold the clothes, just put the groceries away. Whatever that is, make the bed. It's just do it. And then then the more that you do it, the habits will change. And it doesn't mean you don't give yourself a reprieve, but you've got to shift the habit in order to eliminate that thing that ends up irritating you or stressing you out because we keep doing the same thing over and over. Absolutely.

Paul:

I want to shift back to your career again. So I can't go through your your long, you've got a one wonderful long uh history, but I do want to talk about the time at which you spent the first couple of decades as an employee and then shifted into the entrepreneurship world as a consultant. And I just want to briefly talk about when did you identify that you had the skill set to do that and that somebody would be willing to pay for that expertise? Was there a moment in time or was it kind of you're getting these hints later on in your career that that could be possible?

Scharrell:

Uh, I would say that it's a combination of both. I was navigating through, as you know, I was a partner and an operating and and financial officer for a long time in my career, the latter portion of my career, probably the last 15 plus years of my career. And and through that, you are driving an organization, you're dealing with operational excellence, you're focusing on that income, techno, all of the business acumens that are required to run a successful business. I had a very successful business career. But what was most important to me was leadership and the development of people. And so what I really, what I felt best about were the individuals that could start off as a receptionist and become a CHRO or become a chief administrative officer or become a CIO and they started off as a a help list tech, or the individuals that might come in and not even have a vision for themselves and that you can invest in and help them to really elevate their career. So I recognized early in my career that I had the potential to not only run successful, financially successful companies that yielded high net incomes and afforded the opportunities for everybody to win. But for me personally, where I got the greatest joy was the impact I was having on people. And so as I navigated through my career and there was a lot of press on me, and I was carrying more weight on my mind than I realized it could handle, and I had a stroke. And so when I had the stroke, I realized that I was not being as good to myself as I was being to others. That, you know, I was not only focused in on being this parent and being this executive and being this community leader, but I was neglecting Shreyl. And so in that moment, I realized that I needed to get clear, which is how I ended up with the framework for coaching. Or what's the end game I want for my life? And what I wanted for my life is what drove me into the entrepreneurial journey. I always was coaching people on the side for free. I've been speaking for 20 years in front of audiences and uh mentoring individuals. But what I recognize is that I needed to live my life in alignment with my purpose. And then I was blessed to have all of these strong business acumens that if I stepped into the space, I didn't have to run out and get a coaching certificate because of COVID or use a background tied to HR, maybe somebody else's certification, Brene Brown or John Maxwell, John Townsend or HPO, but that I could take who I am as a leader, the proven track record I had in the development of people, the business acumens that I had that led me to drive successful companies. And I could offer that to people to position them to get to a higher level of leadership. And so after the stroke and laying there and realizing that my legacy I wanted to leave was tied to impact. It wasn't money, it wasn't stuff, it wasn't titles, it was impact. I was working in a company. We started to have a conversation about some things. It it ended up going left. And before you knew it, I was an art, I was an entrepreneur. And I literally just said to a friend, I think I'm gonna go into entrepreneurship. But I had no, I was gonna build the infrastructure and do all of the business strategies that you need to do. And he said, Great, can you start working? And now I'm three and a half in. I run a very successful business, and it's been amazing. But I think it worked out it being inorganic, inorganic, for lack of a better word.

Paul:

Well, let me ask you this. So how long ago did you have a stroke? In twuly of 2018. Do you think that you would have gone on this trajectory if it wasn't for that? Like sound like that was kind of a moment that kind of shifted everything for you. Do you think you still would have ended up where you are today, or did that have to happen to you in order for you to go on that trajectory?

Scharrell:

I definitely would have ended up in where I have today because I also had a small group who had been telling me for years that I, if if a hundred people didn't tell me that I should be an entrepreneur, I didn't step into entrepreneurial, the entrepreneurial journey earlier because I was scared. I didn't feel confident in my ability to earn what I needed to earn. And I was in the process of putting three kids through college. Well, two through college and one that was going. And so I was too scared. I didn't trust myself. And so I always knew that at some point I would do it. And I didn't really have a plan. But I recognized in that moment that look, I'm giving everything that I have in a way that's disaligned with my purpose. And so would I have become one? Probably would have been after my last child graduated from college. Okay. If I had waited versus at the time in which I did.

Paul:

Okay. So it just it sounds like it just more or so accelerated it than it was. It accelerated it. Okay. I want to go back to talk about what you just said about fear, which is you have people telling you that you're capable, that you you could and should be doing this. And I get that, right? It's you're in a C-suite. I gotta imagine the the paychecks coming in no matter how hard or how little you're working, and you get used to that. It's just like, hey, that paycheck's, you know, rain or shine, it's it's gonna hit the bank account on twice a month on these dates. And there's like a certain, I mean, there's a lot of comfort. I'm gonna use the word comfort in that, right? To then kind of think to yourself, well, shoot, I, you know, the paychecks only come in if if I can land this account, if people actually want to buy what I'm selling. And yeah, I could see a a ton of fear there, right? And so was it just out of circumstance you had no choice but to figure this out, or just trying to understand how you go from or at least this picture I just painted about, you know, this level of comfort to this area, this place of uncomfort. And what if there was this one catalyst that finally forced you uh into that, or if it's just one day you woke up and you said, Nope, it's time to make this happen for myself.

Scharrell:

Yeah, I made a decision um probably eight months before I resigned, that I was going to resign. I knew that I was a catalyst in the business, and so I was gonna have to get along, um, uh give them a a significant amount of time before I left. And it transformed it too. I knew that it was gonna have a major impact on the company too. So, but what I will say is that um to get myself to that place where I could confidently move, I didn't make the move and not be scared. I made the move while I was scared, but it goes back to what we talked about earlier. But I also paid close attention to how I spoke to myself and my tribe. And my tribe was very small, is very small. But when that fear set in around, ooh, I don't know how to do social media, that's the thing to do. My tribe reminded me of they're not buying social media, they're buying you. I knew that, like you, what I have to offer, the world needs. People are out there struggling. And they're not just struggling with the ability to make money, they're scared, there's noise, there's the politics, there's self-confidence, there's trauma, there's a perception of others, the imposter syndrome. And I am well qualified to walk people through and out of that and elevate them to a whole nother level. And so when I think about what I'm offering, who I am and age wouldn't want it, right? I mean, it's it's really not that confident, not that complicated, but it's our confidence that stops us. So when I started to really see the individuals I was running into or where they were struggling, that I have the answers. And it's not hope and inspiration. There are tangible things that you could do that could take your life to a whole nother level. And so being able to align with the right people and delivering, because a lot of people want to be an entrepreneur and what they're offering doesn't add value, but delivering and then counting my wins and refining my process, it just allowed my entrepreneurial journey to be not only equally as satisfying and rewarding, rewarding, but economically better. And I was a C-level owner of a I mean, you know, I did well for myself. So it's just making that decision, doing that work, and trusting your process, but also making sure that you're qualified for what it is that you want to do if you're looking to start into entrepreneurship.

Paul:

Yeah, I think there's a lot of people that again have this idea in their head. Everything you're saying sounds fantastic, right? I want to go up and do that tomorrow. The reality is maybe one or two percent of people are actually gonna take what you're selling and go out and do it for themselves. Right. In your experience and talking to people and the the speeches and things like that, what do you think is you mentioned fear, so maybe this that is the answer, but uh what is that like the main stoppers that you need to help people to overcome to actually uh go for it?

Scharrell:

It's two things. Actually, there's fear and moving people to a place not of courage without fear, but the will the ability to execute in courage in the midst of the fear. Because, you know, I stepped on a stage in New York last week or week before, and the first thing I said is like, oh, I'm nervous. This feels like, ooh, Mufasa. You know what I mean? It doesn't mean that because I've been speaking for 20 years, that there's not times that I don't feel the fear or that the weight or anxiety that can thrust upon you in that moment of insecurity goes away. But I've mastered the skills to navigate through it very quickly. And I no longer wait for it to not sit on my shoulder sometime. So fear is a huge uh proponent of why people don't do what they want to do. Because not only is it because they're afraid, but they don't have the tools to navigate through the fear. And if you can get the tools, if you can reach out to somebody who can give you the tools, if you can get a tribe of people, if you allow yourself to have that accountability, if you're willing to learn how to navigate through the fear, you can conquer that barrier to entry. But the other thing is clarity. People are confused. And so what I found with my avatar, my clients, is that what I am supporting them through is conquering fear and getting clear. So moving that fear to courage and moving that confusion to clarity positions individuals to catapult into whatever it is that they want to do. But a lot of people may feel like I could do this, but I'm not really sure how or what or how to get the client or what to do. So I think it's both. It's fear and confusion.

Paul:

Sure, I'm ready to, you got me ready to run through a brick wall here. So let's get, let's go. I'm pumped.

Scharrell:

You got this. You got this, Paul. Hey, look, I say this. I was on the um the BET entrepreneur day with Damon John, and we were sitting in last year and we were talking, and I was sharing with him, and I will share to you that one-to-one is one to many. And so if this conversation, if there is one listener and there is something that shifts in their mind that will elevate how they think and they can pay it forward, we change the world, right? So, hey, I'm glad you want to work run through a brick wall because that means when we get off of this podcast, you're gonna go and elevate some other people or some hey, which we covered, right?

Paul:

That's right. No, I think I love it. I love the message that you have to say, which is, you know, we all have something to share. Maybe a lot of us keep it to ourselves, but I think, you know, what you're preaching is hey, get out. If you everybody has some skill, thought, idea that will help somebody else. It's what we do with it that matters. And you clearly are going out and doing something with it. And it just, and even for yourself, right? I have to imagine you go out helping somebody else. That feels that feels good, right? Yeah, you're there to help somebody else, but man, that there's a lot of fulfillment. I I mean, I don't even don't, I could just see there being a lot of fulfillment in that if people just take the time to go out and help somebody else. And so we got to kind of get our heads out of our phones once in a while, I think. And I'm guilty of that too, and just go out and help somebody. So I I love the message, um, Sheryl, and I thank you so much for sharing that with us.

Scharrell:

And I and I'll just add one other thing. It's not, you know, all of this concept just around help. You know, you've got to be qualified with what you're offering. You know, the clarity around the impact that I can make in my client's life definitely shifts not just how they think about themselves and how they eat, but it's the outcome that they want for their life. You also gotta want to make a million dollars to work with me, right? And so it's not just whether or not you want to feel good. It's also are you qualified? There are people who want to work with me to grow their business and what you're selling nobody's buying. Or you don't have a clear, we've got to get clear on what your strategy is. I'm also a business person and a leader that has clarity on impact and I know how to make money and run business efficiently and develop people. So whatever it is that you're selling, widgets, services, whatever that looks like, um, I don't want anybody to walk away thinking it's just about this emotional high that you get tied to, I can do it. You could do it, but you also need to qualify yourself. You need to make sure that what you're offering the buyer wants, that you have clarity on what does what you're offering solve for them, right? Why are they gonna buy from you? And how do you prove that what you're offering yields the results? And if you can do that, your business will soar. Yeah. But there are components to that as well. So I just want to be clear. I mean, to earth, I got it. And not have a strategy of execution.

Paul:

I gotcha. Thanks so much for your time and your words of wisdom. And uh, I'm sure that listeners are gonna love it. So thanks so much.

Scharrell:

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.