Grandpa Is Him
A general microcast about everything and nothing in everyday life. True short stories, family fun, some true crime, anything that I find interesting. In short, it is about everyday life, as lived by every day people, presented a fun and entertaining way.
Grandpa Is Him
Dungeons Without Dragons: Leonardo's Secret Military Tunnels/Sharknado
We explore the hidden tunnels beneath Milan's Sforza Castle, designed by Leonardo da Vinci and only recently discovered in 2025 using ground-penetrating radar technology. While working as a military engineer for Ludovico Sforza, da Vinci created secret passageways connecting important Renaissance landmarks that remained hidden for over 500 years.
• Leonardo applied to work for Ludovico Sforza primarily as a military engineer, listing artistic abilities as almost an afterthought
• The Sforza Castle evolved from military fortress to palace to museum, housing many Renaissance treasures
• Da Vinci designed the Sala della Asse with an elaborate ceiling of intertwined mulberry trees symbolizing prudence and productivity
• Researchers discovered actual tunnels that match Leonardo's sketches, including one connecting the castle to Santa Maria delle Grazie where The Last Supper was painted
• A mysterious sealed chamber was detected beneath the castle that has not been accessed since the 1490s
• Renaissance Milan was filled with political intrigue, spies, and dangerous power struggles alongside artistic innovation
• The castle has accumulated numerous ghost stories and legends of hidden treasure over its 500+ year history
Follow this podcast for more explorations of fascinating historical discoveries and overlooked stories from the past.
And a shark drops in on a disc golf game
Hey folks, welcome back to Grandpa's Hymn, the podcast, where we wander through the dusty attic of history, shine a flashlight in the corners and say, huh, would you look at that? But first I want to begin with a quick shout out to some young friends of mine who I had the pleasure of recording the other day the Stacy Middle School Choir. Hey guys, you sound great. Today we're going underground, literally. I'm talking hidden tunnels, renaissance secrets, military scheming and one suspiciously smart guy with a beard. And no, it's not me, it's not a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, it's Leonardo da Vinci. We're headed to Milan, italy, and more specifically to a castle that's been hiding some of the most fascinating secrets right under people's feet the legendary Sforza Castle. And, folks, when I say this place is stuffed with stories, I mean it's like my grandkids after Halloween, absolutely crammed. We're going to pull some of those stories out, dust them off and see what happens when a military fortress, a renaissance genius and five centuries of secrets all meet up under one roof, or under one floor, as it turns out. Under one roof or under one floor, as it turns out. Let's set the stage.
Speaker 1:The year is 1450. Milan is doing its renaissance thing inventing, painting, warring and a big shot mercenary named Francisco Sforza decides to build a little something for himself, and by little I mean a sprawling brick fortress that looks like it was designed by someone who said make it big enough to survive any angry army and also store enough cheese for the winter, because what's the point of surviving a siege if you're out of Parmesan Sforza Castle or Castello Sforzesco if you're trying to impress somebody over espresso? Was originally a military fortress. It later became a palace, a barracks, a museum and apparently a really fancy hiding spot for secret tunnels. This place has seen more drama than a telenovela on Fast Forward the Black Plague, plague, napoleon, spanish Habsburgs, austrian Habsburg. Basically, if you wore a sash and started a war, you probably had a key to the place. It's been rebuilt, remodeled, repurposed. It's basically the Madonna of castles Always reinventing, occasionally controversial and somehow still standing. But despite all the changes, it still got the bones of the original Sforza's vision Strength, prestige and enough brick to rebuild Rome twice. That brick may look basic, but it was bougie back in the day by the time Ludovico Sforza, aka Ludovico Il Moro, came around.
Speaker 1:The castle was also a symbol of wealth, power and don't mess with Milan. Now I know what you're thinking, lynn? How many stories can one castle possibly have? Buddy, this place had a moat, a drawbridge, a tower built so high, the pigeons filed a noise complaint. Sounds pretty cool, and get this. There was an entire wing just for tournaments and parties. Basically, renaissance Topgolf. Except instead of driving range balls you're jousting and instead of nachos it's boar stew.
Speaker 1:You ever hear the one about the Suertzes family pet lion? Yeah, apparently, ludovico had a soft spot for big cats. Kept one roaming around the courtyard to intimidate guests. Forget guard dogs. This guy had a little power move on four legs. So when we say the castle wore many hats, we mean crowns, helmets, berets and maybe one pointy jester cap on Tuesdays. Trust me, you could drop a party of level 1 adventurers in here and half would straight up fail their perception checks before they ever hit the drawbridge. One minute you're storming the courtyard, the next you're bumping elbows with an eight-foot statue that spoiler alert might have been guarding a plus-two sword all along. Let's talk about the hire that changed everything.
Speaker 1:Leonardo da Vinci, in his early 30s, shows up in Milan like the world's most overqualified intern. The man hadn't even painted the Last Supper yet. He was not world famous, not yet, but he had ideas. Oh boy, did he have ideas. Now, ludovico Sforza wasn't exactly looking to redecorate it. He wanted military muscle. Milan was sandwiched between rival city-states with armies and appetites. So Leonardo did what every smart job applicant does he tailored his resume. He wrote a 10-point letter to Ludovico, and here's the kicker Nine of the 10 points had nothing to do with art. For example, I can build indestructible bridges. I can design catapults that'll knock your enemy's socks off. I've got ideas for armored tanks pulled by oxen and at the bottom, oh, and if you need a mural or a statue, I guess I could do that too. So Leonardo shows up with a resume that would make any dungeon master go hold up. Did this wizard just declare proficiency in siegecraft and painting? Nine out of ten bullet points are basically I can build a tank. Then there's one lonely line oh, and, by the way, I guess I can do art. It's like a rogue handing you a letter that says I have expertise in lockpicking, stealth and probably painting your dungeon murals too.
Speaker 1:Leonardo undersold the Mona Lisa like it was a side hustle. Elisa like it was a side hustle. Ludovico, who clearly liked a bit of flair with his firepower, said sure, let's give this guy a shot. And boom, leonardo was hired, not as a painter, not as a philosopher, but as a military engineer. Imagine if Einstein had gotten famous because he built a really good fence.
Speaker 1:Now, what did da Vinci do with this opportunity? Well, in true Leonardo fashion, he dabbled. He sketched blueprints, he designed hydraulic systems, he invented a type of revolving bridge, and somewhere in between all that, he started dreaming up tunnels beneath the very walls he worked to protect. Was he paranoid? Maybe, but in Renaissance Italy, paranoia was just common sense with better shoes. So what do you do with a genius like Leonardo, who can't sit still and treats blueprints like sketchbook doodles?
Speaker 1:You give him a room, a really big one, and that room is called Sala della Asse or Room of the Boards, but it's always way more interesting than it sounds. It's tucked inside one of the towers of the castle, and Leonardo was asked to decorate it not with saints, not with battles, but with trees. Yes, the whole ceiling and parts of the walls are covered with intertwining mulberry trees, twisting branches, golden cords and a trunk design that climbs like ivy on royal steroids. Why mulberries? Well, they were a symbol of prudence and productivity, a favorite of Ludovico who was trying to look both wise and economically clever. The mulberry was like the Renaissance version of saying we're good with our taxes and we have strong roots. But it wasn't just a pretty mural. This room may have been part of Leonardo's broader architectural vision Hidden airflow vents, geometric floor plans and possibly access points to other parts of the castle In true da Vinci fashion. Every leaf probably had a second purpose.
Speaker 1:Leonardo's Sala della Asse isn't just a mural of twisting mulberry trees. It's basically a built-in trap room waiting for your D&D party. Picture it you think you're entering a comfy chamber, but hidden vents hiss like a gelatinous cube, stirring in the dark. You need to roll a DC-15 investigation check to make it through without triggering some ridiculous Renaissance era arrow trap. The room was rediscovered centuries later under layers of plaster, because apparently some 18th century decorator looked at it and said nah, needs more beige. Thankfully, restore's brought it back to life. Today, the Soledela Ase stands as one of the most complete surviving da Vinci environments. Not just a painting, but an experience. And hey, what better symbol for Leonardo's brain than a room full of roots, knots and twisting connections? So now we jump ahead, way ahead, the year 2025.
Speaker 1:The heroes A team of researchers from the Polytechnic University of Milan. These folks were not wearing armor or carrying swords, nope, they showed up with ground-penetrating radar and laptops that looked like they could launch a satellite or order a cappuccino maybe both. Their mission To see if Da Vinci's tunnel sketches were the real deal, or just the renaissance version of doodling in a meeting. And wouldn't you know it, those scribbles Not just fantasy. When that radar went beep, beep, beeping, it was like the archaeologist just rolled a nat 20 on investigation. Suddenly, they revealed a hidden corridor. Think of it as an uncovered secret door in a D&D dungeon. Only here, instead of goblins, is five centuries of Italian intrigue waiting to ambush you with history lessons. They found them Real stone tunnels hidden beneath the castle, some broad, some narrow, some nearly caved in, but all very, very real.
Speaker 1:It was the kind of discovery that sends historians into a frenzy. I'm talking squealing in the archives. Knock over a coffee cup of excitement, and here's where it gets wild. One of those tunnels appears to connect Sforza Castle with the Basilica of Santa Maria delle Grazie Yep, the same place where da Vinci painted the Last Supper. So theoretically, the Duke could have snuck out of the castle, taken a midnight stroll underground, popped out near the chapel, paid his respects and been home before curfew, assuming he didn't mind tight spaces or the occasional rat holding a candle.
Speaker 1:Well, what were these tunnels actually for? Were they secret escape routes for covert military movement, or midnight wine deliveries with no tipping required? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. But the design? Pure da Vinci Carved hallways, sloped floors and sneaky little air vents. Like Home Alone, but with more limestone and fewer paint cans.
Speaker 1:Now here's the kicker. The research team didn't just stop at cool. We found a tunnel. No, they started building a digital twin, a full 3D model of the castle and its underground maze. So one day you'll be able to tour Da Vinci's tunnel system using just your phone, in your pajamas, with a sandwich in one hand. Leonardo would have been amazed or terrified, possibly both, especially if you showed him your TikTok afterwards. All right, we've been digging in the dirt. Now let's come up for air.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about what life was really like up top in Renaissance Milan and, spoiler alert, it wasn't all art and architecture. Life in the city was a beautiful mess. If you were rich, you had silk palaces and dinner parties where someone might have a trained parrot that quoted Cicero. If you were poor, you had mud, market fish and a high chance of getting your teeth stolen. That's not a metaphor. Tooth theft was real. Dentists were not a thing. Yet If you had good teeth and someone needed them, well, welcome to Renaissance capitalism.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk fashion. Milan was a trendsetter Huge sleeves, bright colors, hats, tall enough to get their own tax bracket. Everyone wanted to look like royalty, even the butchers, the svortzes. They didn't just lead, they dazzled. If your outfit didn't sparkle, were you even a duke? The city was noisy, busy and slightly paranoid, because behind every courtyard fountain and every frescoed wall was someone watching. Spies weren't just for the battlefield, they were in taverns, churches, even bakeries. And let's not forget poison, the official drink of political drama. Want to unseat a rival? Forget duels, just slip something spicy into the saffron risotto.
Speaker 1:Power in Milan was like a renaissance soap opera Betrayals, backroom deals, arranged marriages. Honestly, you could make a season of Game of Thrones just out of the Sforza family tree. Still, despite the chaos, people loved their city. The Mianese built schools, theaters and even experimented with public sanitation Not great sanitation, but hey, it was a start. And in the middle of all this lived our buddy Leonardo, absorbing it all like a sponge, sketching people plants, armor, birds, crossbows, crankshafts probably all in the same afternoon. The renaissance was not clean, it wasn't quiet, but it was alive, and Milan was right at the center.
Speaker 1:All right, folks, time to dim the lights, cue the thunder and get a little spooky, because you can't have a 500-year-old castle without a few lingering spirits and whispered legends. Right, let's start with the ghost of Bona of Savoy, ludovico Sforza's mom. Now Bona had it rough Political plots, court betrayal, exiled twice and no decent spa days ever. According to legend, she still wanders the halls of Svortz's castle, especially the long corridors, after dark. People say they've heard heels clicking on stone when no one's there. Others swear they've seen a woman in velvet robes sighing dramatically near the North Tower. Honestly, it sounds like she just wants someone to listen to her side of the story. I swear any first-level bard strolling through after dark would automatically get inspiration just for living to tell the tale. And you better believe. The passive perception on those walls is off the charts. And that's just one. There's talk of a monk-shaped shadow that appears in the courtyard during thunderstorms. No face, no feet, just the outline of someone watching. One guard reportedly quit after seeing it twice in the same week, which, I gotta say, is a pretty good excuse to skip night shifts.
Speaker 1:On to the treasure. Oh yeah, rumors of hidden gold have floated through Mianese coffee shops for centuries. One story goes that Ludovico Sforza, sensing that things were about to go south politically, hid a massive stash of gold and valuables beneath the castle. Some say it was sealed in a secret chamber behind a false wall. That's never been found. Others believe da Vinci himself helped design the vault, not just to store riches but knowledge, like a renaissance hard drive full of blueprints, journals, maybe even a few inventions he never shared. And if you believe the real wild theories, some think one of the tunnels maybe the one they just discovered in 2025, was a decoy to mislead thieves. The real chamber, still untouched, still waiting. I don't know about you, but if I were designing a hiding spot, I'd definitely include a trick floor tile, a password in Latin and probably a really grumpy owl. Oh, and there are rumors of a hidden library too A collection of banned books, secret correspondence and maybe an early draft of the Da Vinci Code. Okay, that last one's a joke, but barely.
Speaker 1:Whether you believe in ghosts or not, the fact remains the castle's history is full of gaps, empty rooms, sealed passages and little mysteries just waiting for someone curious or foolish enough to investigate. Just bring a lantern and maybe a back-up pair of socks. All right, my fellow castle crawlers, time to crawl back to the surface. We've uncovered a lot today History, mystery, art, engineering and a healthy dose of ghostly drama.
Speaker 1:So what's the takeaway from this long dive into the Bowsus Fort's castle? First, leonardo da Vinci was not just a painter. He was an architect, an inventor, a city planner and maybe even a part-time secret tunnel inspector. The guy saw possibilities everywhere in walls, in roots, in bricks and, yes, even below a castle floor. Second, Svortza Castle isn't just a building. It's a living, breathing artifact, full of stories still being told and some that have yet to be discovered. I mean, it took 500 years to find the tunnels. Who knows what's behind wall number two? Number three the Renaissance was not some sanitized, classy version of history. It was loud, it was risky, it was full of genius and nonsense, which frankly makes it pretty relatable of genius and nonsense, which frankly makes it pretty relatable.
Speaker 1:Now, before I let you go, I promised you one last twist, and here it is. One of the most intriguing things found in the 2025 scans wasn't a tunnel at all. It was what the researchers called a chamber anomaly, a perfectly square void, not on any map, map, not mentioned in any historical document, not accessible. Yet. They think it may be a sealed vault, possibly designed by Leonardo, possibly untouched since the late 1490s. Imagine the dungeon master leaning in Alright party. What do you do when you find a hidden vault beneath an ancient stone wall Spoiler? If you're not carrying a magic crowbar, you're in for a tough time Now. Will it be gold secret manuscripts, a very old wheel of parmesan? I don't know, but just knowing it's there, waiting, makes the castle more than just a museum. It makes it a puzzle, one we're still solving. And that, my friends, is what history is really all about Not just what we know, but what we don't, what we're still chasing.
Speaker 1:And before I close out this episode, listen to this story. This is one that, well, you just may have a hard time believing, but there are pictures to show that it really did happen. Have I got a doozy of a story for you? Picture this You're out on the disc golf course aiming for that sweet birdie on hole 11, and bam, a tiny hammerhead shark plops down right beside you like it's trying to play too. No, I'm not making this up. A shark fell from the sky onto a disc golf course. Stick around, because we're diving pun absolutely intended into exactly how an osprey, some feisty crows and an unsuspecting disc golfer ended up with a shark on their green.
Speaker 1:A couple of weeks ago in Myrtle Beach, south Carolina, specifically at the aptly named Splinter City Disc Golf Course, our main character, jonathan Marlowe, rolls up with his buddies, discs in hand, ready for some weekend fun. If you've never played disc golf, let me assure you it's like golf, only with frisbees and slightly fewer polo shirts. You toss your disc, try to sink it into one of those hanging baskets, then trek through brush and be thankful there are no sand traps to worry about. All very chill until nature decides to spice things up. So Jonathan is on hole 11, decides to spice things up. So Jonathan is on hole 11, gazing at his target. You know that lovely chain clinking basket.
Speaker 1:When he notices an osprey overhead, normally that's nothing to write home about. We've all seen birds cruising above minding their own business. But this particular osprey, it's carrying something in its talons. Jonathan thinks it's carrying something in its talons. Jonathan thinks cool, that's a nice catch. He squints up and wait for it. He sees the osprey being chased by not one but two very determined crows. And crows are not exactly known for their chivalry. They're bossy, mobbing little feathered tyrants. So these crows start dive-bombing the osprey and in the chaos the osprey drops its lunch. The thing comes tumbling down through the pine needles and thud right onto the forest floor. Jonathan's like it's probably just a fish or a random possum. Yeah, maybe a possum, but, friends, no amount of a possum hunting could prepare him for what he actually found. No amount of opossum hunting could prepare him for what he actually found.
Speaker 1:Jonathan locks eyes with get this, a small, dead hammerhead shark. A hammerhead shark In the woods On a disc golf course In South Carolina. If you're doing the middle math, it's basically a Sharknado cameo that nobody asked for. Now let's be real.
Speaker 1:Ospreys are wicked good fishermen. They can dive from 100 feet up at speeds nearly 50 miles per hour, tailons wide open, ready to snatch whatever slippery sea creature they spot. Normally that's a small fish trout, mackerel, maybe a catfish if you're lucky, but a baby hammerhead. That's like winning the weirdest lottery possible. It's rare enough for an osprey to catch a shark, let alone carry one all the way inland to a golf course. And why were those pesky crows so invested? Well, it's mobbing season in the spring.
Speaker 1:Crows, being social little beasts, team up to chase away predators hawks, owls and, yes, even ospreys, especially when baby birds or eggs might be nearby. So you've got Mr Osprey thinking he's got dinner sorted, zipping along and then two crows show up to ruin his lunchtime. They dive, bomb him, he drops the shark, and now that shark is doing more skydiving than a Navy SEAL trainee, I imagine the shark hit the ground thinking I knew I should have taken that left at Atlantis. Jonathan and his friends are standing there jaws on the ground. Holy moly, did that actually just happen? They walk over expecting maybe a bass or a catfish and nope, hammerhead shark. One friend says we gotta leave it here just in case Mr Osprey comes back to retrieve a snack. So they gently set the shark under a nearby tree, stand back and hope for nature to reclaim its own. Set the shark under a nearby tree, stand back and hope for nature to reclaim its own. Later Jonathan posted pictures on Facebook because, of course, if a shark falls from the sky and nobody posts on Facebook, did it really happen.
Speaker 1:Another disc golfer checks the post, swings by the course and finds the little hammerhead still under the tree. He's probably thinking. Mom always said don't forget your sunscreen, not don't forget to check for sharks between holes. Aside from being a fantastic cocktail party antidote, hey y'all. Once a shark fell on my head while I was playing disc golf.
Speaker 1:This tale reminds us just how wacky nature can be. You might stroll out to tee off expecting a mediocre round and end up face-to-face with a sea creature that typically hangs out in ocean waters, far from any piney trees. It's a beautiful, bizarre reminder that wildlife doesn't always play by our rules. So what's next for Little Hammerhead, hashtag SkyDrop2025? Johnny Osprey presumably flew off, likely back to Spring Maid Pier to find something a bit more manageable. The crows probably strutted around like victorious superheroes crowing about how they own the skies. And Jonathan, he's got a heck of a story to tell, plus some solid disc golf street cred.
Speaker 1:I once saw a shark land within five feet of me. That's a conversation starter if I ever heard one. Imagine future disc golfers on hole 11 whispering. Don't mind the tidy crater and the splatter marks. Just last year, a shark drop kicked the fairway. Honestly, I half expect someone to rig a mini shark statue next to the basket like a warning sign. Beware, random sharks may plummet at any moment.
Speaker 1:All right, friends, hope you enjoyed that little slice of only in the south in nature theater. Next time you're out in the woods, keep an eye on the skies, who knows? Maybe you'll catch a hawk diving after a picnic basket or a tiny shark on a kamikaze mission. Either way, snap a pic and post it online, because if it's not on social media, did it ever happen? And there you have it the true story of how a hammerhead shark fell out of the sky, dropped on a disc golf course and somebody managed to see it happen. Thanks for exploring with me today. If you liked this episode, tell a friend or a historian or your local owl. Don't forget to follow this podcast. I'm Lynn Dimmock and yep, grandpa's him. Until next time, keep wondering what's behind the next wall or what's going to fall out of the sky next. Thank you.
