Grandpa Is Him
A general microcast about everything and nothing in everyday life. True short stories, family fun, some true crime, anything that I find interesting. In short, it is about everyday life, as lived by every day people, presented a fun and entertaining way.
Grandpa Is Him
The CIA's Star Wars Website Disaster
The digital age promised revolutionary new tools for espionage, but as the CIA discovered through catastrophic failure, technology can betray as easily as it can conceal. At the heart of this shocking intelligence disaster sits an unlikely protagonist: StarWarsWebNet, a seemingly innocent fan site that secretly served as a communication channel between CIA handlers and their informants behind enemy lines.
Across hundreds of such innocuous-looking websites, the CIA built what they believed was an impenetrable system for their assets in hostile territory to safely transmit intelligence and receive instructions. The genius lay in its ordinary appearance—who would suspect discussions of Yoda and lightsaber battles to conceal state secrets? But beneath this clever disguise lurked fatal flaws that would lead to devastating consequences.
When Iranian intelligence stumbled upon this digital spy network around 2009, they discovered elementary mistakes that exposed the entire operation. Shared IP addresses, similar code structures, and digital fingerprints connected these supposedly isolated websites like a trail of breadcrumbs. The Iranians reportedly shared their discovery with China, leading to the systematic dismantling of America's human intelligence networks in both countries. The human toll was staggering—approximately 30 informants in each country were captured, many executed or imprisoned. Years of careful intelligence cultivation vanished overnight, creating blind spots in America's understanding of these critical regions that may persist to this day.
This fascinating and tragic story serves as a stark reminder that in the shadow world of international espionage, basic security principles remain paramount even in the digital age. When lives hang in the balance, "security through obscurity" proves a dangerously inadequate shield. As intelligence agencies continue evolving their methods, the lessons from this digital disaster echo through the corridors of power: your adversaries are watching, they're clever, and they need only find one weakness to unravel even the most elaborate deception.
Curious about other shocking intelligence failures and surprising truths hidden beneath official stories? Subscribe to Grandpa's Hymn for more tales that prove reality often outstrips the wildest spy fiction!
Welcome to Grandpa's Hymn. I'm your host, lynn Dimmick, and this is the podcast where we peek behind the official story, lift up the rug and see what kind of unbelievable truths are swept underneath. You know the kind of stories that make you lean back and say, hold on, did that really happen? Because, folks, let me tell you, the world is a whole lot weirder and sometimes a heck of a lot more dangerous than any spy movie you've ever seen. Today we've got a doozy. We're diving headfirst into a tale where the CIA yes, that CIA decided that the best way to talk to its secrets agents was through, of all things, a Star Wars fan website. That's right, starwarswebnet. And let me tell you, the force was not with them on this one. It all went spectacularly, catastrophically wrong.
Speaker 1:So picture this, if you will. You're a CIA informant. You're not exactly sipping lattes in a comfy office. You're deep behind enemy lines, as they say. Your actual life hangs by a thread, and that thread is secrecy. So how do you get your top secret info back to the folks in Langley? Your actual life hangs by a thread, and that thread is secrecy. So how do you get your top secret info back to the folks on Langley? Do you use invisible ink, a carrier pigeon with a tiny fedora? Nope, you log on to a website and not just any old gov address.
Speaker 1:We're talking StarWarsWebnet, a digital hangout plastered with pictures of Yoda. Maybe some heated debates about whether Greedo really shot first, Innocent as an Ewok, right? Well, not quite. Buried under all that Star Wars geekery was a secret backdoor, a digital version of leaving a message under a park bench. And StarWarsWebnet was not a lone rebel, oh no, this was part of a whole empire of these seemingly harmless sites, hundreds of them. We're talking websites about everything from antique symbols to the migratory patterns of the Patagonian toothfish. Okay, I might be exaggerating on those, but you get the idea News, sports, weather, gaming, anything to look boring and normal. All of it designed to be a covert communication network for spies and their sources.
Speaker 1:But here's the kicker, and it's a big one. This intricate, supposedly super-secret web had a flaw, a massive flaw, the kind of flaw that gets people killed, and it did Dozens of them. People who trusted the system, trusted the United States. So today we're going to unpack this. How did this Rube Goldberg machine of spycraft even work? How in the galaxy did it get exposed? And what happened when this digital Death Star finally blew up in their faces.
Speaker 1:Stick around, because this, my friends, is one of those stories that proves the old saying Grandpa's him. He's heard enough wild tales to know that sometimes the truth doesn't just bite, it takes a whole chunk out of you. So let's set our time circuits. We're back in the early 2000s, heading into the 2010s. The internet isn't new anymore. It's everywhere, and for spy agencies like the CIA, this is like finding a shiny new tool kit. But you know, every tool can also be a potential banana peel to slip on.
Speaker 1:The big question was how do you chat securely with your assets, your informants, your eyes and ears on the ground and countries that are basically running a full-time spy hunting contest? The old school stuff chalk marks on lampposts, a copy of War and Peace left on a specified park bench. It had a certain romantic charm, I suppose. But the digital world that offered speed a bit of now, you see it, now you don't magic, or so they hoped. A brand new cloak of invisibility. The concept, you gotta admit, has a certain sneaky elegance. Create a bunch of websites that look as exciting as watching paint dry. Your informant let's call him Agent X-Wing gets the secret handshake. Maybe he clicks on the third wiki from the left on StarWarsWebnet or types the Emperor has no Clothes into a search bar that isn't really a search bar and poof, a hidden chat room, opens up A place to whisper secrets, get new orders, maybe upload those blurry photos of missile silos. It's like a digital speakeasy Joe sent me, but instead of Joe it's Yoda sent me, and for a time it seems it worked. Cia officers could be munching on donuts in Virginia while their sources were sending dispatches from Tehran or Beijing.
Speaker 1:These weren't typical American spies living double lives abroad that were using these sites day to day. These were mainly for talking with the locals, the brave or maybe just hard-up folks who had agreed to spy for the CIA. Starwarswebnet I mean, can't you just see it Probably had a scrolling marquee that says A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The sheer, unadulterated normalcy of it was supposed to be its shield. Who'd ever looked twice? Or just Bob from accounting checking his Star Wars for him again? Or just Bob from accounting checking his Star Wars for him again? Little did they know Bob was actually Boris downloading the latest Rebel Alliance plans.
Speaker 1:This sounds like a term that I'm familiar with in IT called security by obscurity, and it is never a good idea and rarely successful. And we're not talking a couple of these sites like a mom-and-pop spy shop. The investigative reporters who blew the lid off this folks at Yahoo News and Reuters doing some serious gum-show journalism they uncovered that there were hundreds, a whole galaxy, of these digital fronts. But here's the thing about building hundreds of anything that's supposed to be super secret and super separate. It's really really hard not to mess it up, especially when the bad guys on the other side are not exactly the Keystone cops. They've got their own tech wizards and they are very motivated and they were definitely looking. You can bet your bottom dollar on that. So you've got this huge network of websites all trying to look as innocent as a basket of kittens. Starwarswebnet is just Exhibit A.
Speaker 1:But how does a system like this, a system that actual lives depend on, just unravel? Well, folks, it often comes down to the usual suspects good old human error and leaving a trail of digital breadcrumbs so obvious Hansel and Gretel could have followed them home. Word on the street. The heavily red-acted, whispered-in-corridors kind of street, is that the first alarm bells started ringing around 2009. The Iranians, it seems caught a lucky break. Maybe a double agent spilled the beans, maybe someone they nabbed sang like a canary under, let's say, intense questioning. The exact how is still a bit like trying to see through Bespin's clouds, but once they had a loose thread, they started yanking Hard and what they found, apparently using nothing fancier than some smart internet searching, was that the CIA's super secret websites weren't quite as secret as they thought. It turns out. Building these digital hideouts, they made a few let's call them oopsies big ones. Think about it like this If you're a spy agency setting up safe houses, you probably don't want to buy them all from the same real estate agent, paint them the same particular shade of beige or, I don't know, have them all on streets named after characters from the Flintstones. Digitally speaking, that's kind of what happened.
Speaker 1:Researchers like the Sharp Cookies at Citizens Lab up in Toronto later dissected what was left of the system, and they pointed out some real head slappers. For instance, it seems a whole bunch of these sites, despite looking different and being registered to fake companies that probably didn't even have a rubber chicken for a CEO, were hosted on servers with IP addresses that were practically next-door neighbors. An IP address is like a mailing address for a website. So if you found one secret website and you noticed its address is, say, 123 Secret Agent Lane, you might just check out 124 and 125 Secret Agent Lane and bingo, you found the whole spy subdivision, not exactly Deep Cover, 101.
Speaker 1:Then there were the digital footprints. You know how every artist has a certain style. Websites do too, under the hood, little bits of code. How they handle security things you don't see. And it appears many of the CIA sites, despite the different costumes Star Wars here, a recipe site there, shared some of the same digital mannerisms.
Speaker 1:So if Iranian counterintel flagged one, they could basically tell their computers go find me more sites that smell like this one. And the computers dutifully did. Now, in reality, anytime you're building multiple websites, the idea is to use and reuse code. Quit reinventing the wheel. If it works, you copy it and you move on. So it's not necessarily bad practice, but it's also not a secure one. It's kind of terrifying, isn't it? The internet designed to connect everything was used to connect all the CIA's dots for them. And if that wasn't bad enough, the story goes that once Iran had cracked the code, they might have done a little international show-and-tell, perhaps a friendly tip-off to their pals in China. Hey Xi, you won't believe what these crazy Americans are up to? Check your Star Wars forums. So then China, with their own army of cyber sleuths, starts poking around too.
Speaker 1:So this system designed to be a shield for informants StarWarsWebnet and all of its little buddies effectively became a treasure map for the bad guys, a map leading straight to some of the CIA's most sensitive sources. The irony it was thicker than Jabba the Hutt, all that supposed sophistication, and it was undone by what sounds like some pretty basic slip-ups you can almost hear the collective DOH Echoing through the halls of Langley and was undone by what sounds like some pretty basic slip-ups you can almost hear the collective D'oh echoing through the halls of Langley. Now uncovering these flaws. That wasn't just a fun little cyber puzzle for the Iranians and Chinese. This wasn't about bragging rights at the next Hacker Olympics. This was deadly serious, and between 2010 and 2013, the bill for this digital disaster came due, and it was paid in the form of human lives.
Speaker 1:Once these counterintelligence agencies could spot the CIA's little network of websites, they could watch them. They could see who was visiting, maybe even read the mail, and then they could pounce. And let's be crystal clear about who we're talking about here. These were primarily the CIA sources, their informants, not usually the CIA American officers with diplomatic passports. These were mainly the locals, iranians, chinese, folks from other places who had taken the enormous risk of spying for Uncle Sam. Maybe they needed the money, maybe they hated the government, maybe they just wanted to make a difference. Whatever the reasons, they were now out in the cold, digitally speaking, with a big target painted on their backs.
Speaker 1:The numbers that have come out are just sickening. In China we're hearing that the CIA's informant network, something that probably spent years and millions building, was pretty much wiped out. Some reports say quote around 30 people were caught, others whispered, more than two dozen. For many of them the end was brutal Execution, for others a long, dark prison cell. Can you even imagine that moment, the horror of realizing that your secret lifeline, that Star Wars website you thought was so clever, was actually leading the wolves right to your door? And it wasn't much better. In Iran, reports suggest a network of about 30 informants. There were also rolled up Again, executions or long prison sentences.
Speaker 1:The CIA's ability to get on-the-ground intelligence from these really critical, really tough places torpedoed. Years of dangerous work gone Poof. Now I want to stress this All the public information points to the loss of these local sources. We haven't seen credible public reports saying that American CIA officers were directly captured or killed because of these specific websites going belly up. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a terrifying time for them too, and it certainly doesn't lessen the tragedy for the informants and their families. It's not just the people lost, as horrific as that is, it's the information they would have provided, it's the other contacts they might have had and it's the ice cold message it sends to anyone else in those countries who might even think about helping the US. The damage Huge, long lasting, a real black eye for the agency.
Speaker 1:Of course there were investigations inside the CIA. You can bet there was a blame game that would make a Super Bowl pointing match look tame. Was it sloppy tradecraft? Did the contractors who built these sites cut corners? Did they just underestimate how smart the other guys were? Probably a bit of all of the above. But for families of those who vanished, for the case officers who recruited and ran these resources, the why probably doesn't offer much comfort.
Speaker 1:Starwarswebnet, intended as a cloak of invisibility, became a shroud. So when we talk about what secrets got out in this whole mess. It wasn't necessarily, you know, the launch coats for a nuke or the Colonel's secret fried chicken recipe, but who knows what those informants might have had. The biggest glaring neon sign secret that got blown wide open was the method itself the fact that the CIA was running this global network of normal-looking websites with StarWarsWebnet as the poster child for intergalactic espionage gone wrong. That was the real kicker. It was like showing your entire playbook to the opposing team. Hey guys, look for websites that seem a bit too interested in the weather in Minsk or have surprisingly active forums for, I don't know, competitive G-sculpting. It basically told every adversary on the planet what to start hunting for. And those technical blunders we talked about, the IP addresses, all huddled together like penguins in winter. The shared digital footprints.
Speaker 1:When those details eventually surfaced, thanks to journalists and researchers, that was another layer of exposure. It was a free master class in how not to build your super secret spy network. You can almost hear the other spy agencies scribbling notes. Okay, note to self, don't do that. Were other specific pieces of intel lost? Oh you betcha, if an informant was caught, anything they knew that they hadn't passed on yet was suddenly up for grabs. If messages were being read before the CIA pulled the plug on this Rube Goldberg machine, that info was compromised too. But the nitty-gritty details of what specific intelligence reports went astray, that's locked up tighter than Fort Knox and frankly, we, the public, are probably better off not knowing some of that.
Speaker 1:What's absolutely clear is the strategic gut punch Losing that many assets in places like Iran and China, that's not like misplacing your car keys. That's like losing the whole car, the garage it was in and the map to your destination. It created huge blind spots in the intelligence gathering, blind spots that could take years, maybe even decades, to fix, if they ever get fully fixed. The lessons learned, or, let's be optimistic, the lessons that should have been tattooed on the inside of some eyelids at Langley. First, digital security in the spy game is like running on a treadmill that's constantly speeding up while someone throws banana peels at you. What's genius today is a gaping vulnerability tomorrow. Second, putting all your eggs in one technological basket, especially if that basket has holes in it, is just asking for trouble. And third, the basics folks, good old operational security. And third, the basics folks, good old operational security. Opsec for those in the know, not leaving obvious patterns, making sure your secret stuff is actually, you know, secret and separate. That's just as vital with laptops as it was with lipstick cameras.
Speaker 1:This whole saga was a brutal, expensive wake-up call. It made the CIA rethink how they talk to people in dark alleys, digitally speaking, and it was a stark reminder that your opponents are not stupid, they're smart, they're motivated. And they've got the internet too. The Star Wars deception so slick on paper, so Bond. James Bond turned out to be a trap set by their own hands. Turned out to be a trap set by their own hands.
Speaker 1:While initial reports said hundreds, later, detailed analysis by groups like Citizen Lab actually identified a network of nearly 900 of these sites 885 to be precise. Talk about a sprawling and, as it turned out, dangerously flawed operation. Now was the CIA the only one playing this game of digital dress-up? Hardly We've seen reports just as here about German intelligence running hundreds of fake social media accounts to keep tabs on extremist groups and Russian intelligence. They've been caught red-handed creating fake websites, sometimes even pretending to be the CIA fake websites, sometimes even pretending to be the CIA, to fish for information or target activists.
Speaker 1:So the idea of using a digital smokescreen is not unique. What was perhaps unique about the CIA's mess was the sheer scale of this particular communication system and how spectacularly it failed. And while intelligence agencies are constantly engaged in a cat and mouse game online and many operations by various countries get exposed over time, the CIA's website catastrophe stands out. It wasn't just about a website being identified. It was about a fundamental flaw in an entire system designed to protect people, which instead led them into a trap. That direct link to the loss of so many lives is what makes this a particularly grim chapter in digital espionage. And that, my friends, is the mind-boggling story of StarWarsWebnet and the CIA's great website Wipeout, a real lesson in how, in the world of shadows and secrets, a tiny loose thread can unravel the whole darn sweater. What seemed like a brilliant digital disguise ended up being a great big yoo-hoo over here to the very people they were trying to hide from Makes you wonder, doesn't it, what other corners of the internet are currently playing a double life, and it definitely makes you think about the incredible risks people take in that shadow world and the massive responsibility of the agencies who sent them there.
Speaker 1:This has been Grandpa's Hen. I'm your host, len Dimmick. Join me next time, won't you? We'll dig up another story that'll make you say you're kidding me. Until then, keep those eyes open, question everything and maybe, just maybe, be a little suspicious of that incredibly detailed fan forum for competitive thumb wrestling. You never know. And now to comment on baseball. I have three grandchildren and their names are William Paige Connor.
Speaker 1:William, do you play baseball?
Speaker 2:Um, yeah.
Speaker 1:How old are you?
Speaker 2:I'm seven, turning eight next month.
Speaker 1:Okay, and what baseball do you play?
Speaker 2:Machine pitch.
Speaker 1:Machine pitch.
Speaker 2:Second year Paige, have you play?
Speaker 1:baseball.
Speaker 2:Um, I did last year, but not this.
Speaker 1:And last year was T-ball or coach pitch.
Speaker 2:I don't know, probably T-ball, I think.
Speaker 1:Was it T-ball? Did you hit it off the? Did you hit it off a stick or did the coach pitch it?
Speaker 2:The coach pitch. So it was coach pitch, all right.
Speaker 1:So, william, what is it you like? Do you like, first of all? Do you like baseball? Yes, okay, you're related to me. Then, paige, do you like baseball? Yes, how come you didn't play this year? Um, I don't know. Connor, do you like baseball?
Speaker 2:Well, I kind of like baseball.
Speaker 1:You kind of like baseball. What do you like about baseball, Connor?
Speaker 2:Eh watching.
Speaker 1:You like watching baseball?
Speaker 2:But you played, but you had. Connor is playing this year.
Speaker 1:Are you playing baseball this year?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, do you like throwing?
Speaker 2:Paige. I thought he was going to say I like the treats.
Speaker 1:Okay, william, what is it you like about baseball?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I just like it. I have no idea why I like it. I have no idea why Everybody shush. I just started playing and now I like it. Can everybody shush why? Because I need to hear something.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:Like the belly thingy. What belly thingy? I need to hear it.
Speaker 1:The thing making all the noise? It's you rocking the chair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's not. No, the bell Last thingy Hold on, alright.
Speaker 1:What else should we say about baseball? Um oh, when I was a little, when I was a little boy, I was about Connor's age and we were playing baseball when I lived on an island and they told me you're the catcher. And I said what does the catcher do? And they said just go stand behind that guy and catch the ball. So they threw the ball and I went to catch it and I got smacked in the head with a bat and I had a big old bump on my head and I thought this game's fun. It's kind of dumb, huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my favorite base, my favorite two places, is to play outfield and first.
Speaker 1:How come you like playing outfield and first.
Speaker 2:Because first I'm really good at catching so I can catch a couple couple so I could catch throws and um in outfield. I can run a lot and I have to like run to more places. I have to run around in the field and get to the first and pass it to first.
Speaker 1:Okay, is there anything you don't like about baseball? No, any other baseball stories you guys want to share? Yes, what?
Speaker 2:More batting.
Speaker 1:More batting, batting fun. Yes, you hit the ball far. Yes, like one Like one. Yes, you hit the ball far. Yes, like one.
Speaker 2:Like one yes.
Speaker 1:Okay, what's the best advice you would give somebody who wants to learn how to play baseball?
Speaker 2:You've got to start practicing to catch.
Speaker 1:You've got to start practicing catching. Yes, so that's what Grandma Kate used to say William, I want to play baseball. That's what you tell her. Start practicing your catching, all right, thank you. You might say that we've covered the highs and lows of America in this episode. First we had the failures of the CIA on maintaining secrecy, and then we had commentary from the young generation about baseball, america's national pastime. Thank you for listening to Grandpa. Is Him the fun podcast where we talk about everything and nothing. Remember, if you like the show, please comment, let us know what you do and don't like, and be sure, and subscribe and follow us and tell a friend.
