Beauty from Ashes: Grieving with Hope and Living Surrendered - JoBeth Polley

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by JoBeth Polley—a speaker, certified grief recovery specialist, and Jesus-loving farm woman whose story will move you to your core.

At just 33, JoBeth became a widow after her husband, Travis, passed away from a terminal illness in 2023. What followed was deep, soul-shaking grief—but God met her in the valley. With raw honesty and unwavering faith, JoBeth shares how the Lord held her through the heartbreak, transformed her pain into purpose, and led her into a life of radical surrender.

Together, we talk about what it really looks like to cling to Jesus in sorrow, how to hold space for both grief and joy, and why loss doesn’t have to be the end of your story—it can be the beginning of something holy.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever asked, “Where is God in all this?” The answer: He’s right there, in the ashes, rebuilding with you.

Ways to connect to JoBeth Polley:

Facebook

Instagram 

YouTube

___________________________________________________________

Transcript

Israel Caminero: 0:04

Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. I'm grateful for your support and for being part of this community. If you've been enjoying the podcast so far, I'd love it if you could take a minute to leave a review. Your feedback helps me reach more people and share these inspiring stories with others. Let's spread the word. Please share this podcast with your friends and family. And if you haven't already, be sure to like and subscribe for new episodes. To stay connected and up to date on all the latest news, updates, and exclusive content, head over to my Facebook page, Living Testimonies. While you're there, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter. The link is on the page. Thanks again for listening, and I'll catch you in the next episode. Welcome to Living Testimony. I'm your host, Israel Caminero, and I hope that everyone that's listening is blessed and doing well. With me today, I have my sister in Christ. Her name is JoBeth Polley. She has a great testimony to share. Can you introduce yourself?

JoBeth Polley: 1:32

Yeah, thanks for having me. Um my name is JoBeth Polley. I recently just got remarried after being widowed, which has been a really exciting and wonderful experience for me. My whole life growing up, I always wanted to help people. It was always just the desire of my heart. And I remember a very vivid moment of wanting to help people and realizing that I'd gone through nothing to, you know, be able to relate to people. And fast forward several years now, um I've been put in a couple different situations that have positioned me very well to empathize and love and support people who are grieving and hurting, and um showing them who God can be in these really, really deep, dark moments of grief. And um, you know, there's a there's a lot to those two stories, but kind of in a nutshell, I went through infertility and then my husband and I adopted about two years after beginning to struggle with infertility. And about five years after we adopted our children, my husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and passed away a year later. And so today I just walk a walk that I have been through with other people and um share that there is light and there is hope, and where is God and in these moments of deep, deep heartbreak.

Israel Caminero: 3:05

Amen. Amen. Thank you for sharing that for everybody. And we get to hear more of her story as we go on. But before she gets started, I want to pray over us and I want to say, Heavenly Father, we thank you for this moment and for the opportunity for Joe Beth to share the power of testimony. Lord, we lift up Joe Beth to you right now. We thank you for the strength you've poured into her life, for the resilience that could only come from you, and for the healing journey she's walked with you by her side. Holy Spirit, guide her words as she speaks. Let every story, every emotion, and every insight minister to someone listening today. Use her voice as a vessel of hope and of grief and loss for those that need restoration, that are navigating their own grief and loss. Remind every listener that no valley is too deep, no loss too heavy, and no wound too great for your healing hand. Cover this conversation with peace, authenticity, and grace. May it glorify you and bring encouragement to all who hear it. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So you touched a little bit about what you went through, Joe Beth, but can you take us to a day back in the life of Joe Beth as she was growing up before any of this was happening and just lead right into your story of what you went through for everybody?

JoBeth Polley: 4:29

Yeah, so I grew up in a in a Christian household and we were in in church every Sunday. We did not miss church. That was, you know, very, very high priority that we were there on Sunday mornings, and you know, I sat in church and I prayed and I sang and you know, went through the the motions of what I was supposed to do. And when I was in middle school, I got baptized and you know, was like on the on the trend, right? To like living a life um that what of what I thought was what I was supposed to be doing. And you know, these experiences that I've had have completely changed my faith. So I grew up with like maybe you might say like God in front of me, but not God in me. And so definitely trying to hit these behavior standards of how Christians act and everything, but not really having a relationship with God that didn't, it did not exist. And so my childhood was great, that I was well taken care of, and nothing tragic or bad ever happened, which is just mind-blowing to me. Because I have kids now and I'm like, wow, they didn't even make it to middle school before a lot of really terrible things happened in their lives, and um I have a lot of of gratitude and thankfulness for that. But um, like I mentioned earlier, I when I was 18, I was driving and I was just like, I want to help people, I want to do something. It's like, but you've not done anything, like you haven't been through anything, nobody's gonna relate to you, like you know, like you you need to have gone through something for you can help people. And I was like, Yeah, okay, so I went into education because I'm like, that's where I'm gonna be able to help people, you know, maybe just basic things like show love and compassion and and provide. And um that's so that's kind of the direction I went. And then about two years after my husband and I got married, we were ready to start a family, and we realized that we were not gonna be able to have kids. And so we uh tried to white knuckle our way into having kids and we went through all kinds of infertility treatments all over the United States. Like if there was a doctor that would see us and had even a tiny bit of hope that he could help us, we were saving our money and going, and we spent a lot of money trying to get pregnant, and it and it never happened, and it was just one failure after another, and it was a really isolating, lonely time because when you're in your early 20s and or in your 20s, like everybody's getting pregnant having babies. So you have lots of friends that are having babies. My sister, um, she found out that she was pregnant, I think the day after we found out we would not be able to have kids, and that was incredibly I can't even explain, like uh, it was such a strange feeling of so much excitement because I was gonna get to be an aunt. I was really excited, I knew I'd be really close to this kid, and then deep sadness, like I had never known before, because I was gonna watch my sister do something that I wanted so bad, and knowing that and I was still kind of hopeful that a doctor would be able to help us, but they pretty much said we wouldn't be able to have kids, so we kind of knew, but we're still clinging to some hope. Um, along the way, lots of friends got pregnant and um and nobody knew. Uh nobody knew that we couldn't have kids, except my sister did know, she was the only one that knew, and it kind of just got to experience what it's like to be grieving something that is just life-shattering and nobody knowing, nobody being there to support you, and then there's the layer that um nobody knows how to support you. So it's just really complicated. So fast forward, we did infertility stuff for two years, just one failure after the other, and um kind of got kind of got over trying. Like it was it was time to be done, and it's just really contemplating what if I wanted God put this desire to be a mom in my heart and took away my ability to have children. And I was like, this isn't this is hard, this doesn't make sense. Like I don't really know what to do with this. It was so painful. Um, and so I went to a silent retreat, um, just me wasn't like a lot of people, and there was one lady there that like kind of ministered to people and me, that was it. And uh, because I was trying to find clarity on this situation because it just, like I said, didn't make sense that God had put the desire to be a mom in my heart, but didn't give me the ability. I was in silence for an entire day, just with my Bible in prayer, sleeping, like just kind of bouncing back between the three, and and you know, just talking to God and crying out to him. I was sitting there studying, and he spoke to me and he was like, There's a little girl that needs a mom more than you need to have your own child. And it was just crystal clear to me, and I was just like, Okay, it's like kind of like I just like dusted my hands and stood up and was like, okay, that's what we're doing. So from there we moved into adopting from foster care. And about six months later, six, seven months later, um, we met our kids. And if you know anything about the foster care system or kids who are available for adoption in the United States, there's thousands of kids in the United States that need homes. And so I knew we were gonna have options with who we got, you know, like if what kids we wanted, basically.

Israel Caminero: 10:06

Right.

JoBeth Polley: 10:06

And so I just prayed, like, you know, what um I need you to tell me when I see my kids. I need to know so that we make the right decision, you know, because it was in our hands. About a month later, my son, we were gonna babysit him, he was in foster care, we were gonna babysit him and his sister. And my son walked through the door and just clear as day, I heard that's your son, which was really cool. I was like, Oh gosh, yeah, like that's him. But he was not available to be adopted. He was not he, we were just babysitting him because he was in foster care, and we were helping his his family, his foster family out with him. And so I was like, Okay, that's cool. He's my son, and he's not I can't adopt him, so what's going on there? And so we were we were consistent and consistently in his life, and about a year later we were able to adopt him and his sister, and they we're all still together today. They're still with us and haven't spent, you know, been there forever home for sure. So that was really, really amazing how you know God answered a lot of prayers with one one situation, and infertility is definitely not healed by adoption, but I think infertility does put us in a situation where we get to do some of God's work and we get to show up for people, put the desires of our heart aside to show up for somebody who really needs us. That's what happened in that situation. And then we were together for about five years, the four of us, and things felt very complete. We we bought a farm. It was our dream to have a farm. My husband's dream mostly, like he loved farming and cattle and stuff, and so we we bought a farm about the same time we got the kids, and we started building our house, and like his business was going great, and I had a good career, and the kids, we were homeschooling the kids, and things were really good for about five years, and then my husband started having really bad headaches, and they kept getting worse and worse, and then they got so bad he was like sick to his stomach because he was in so much pain. I took him to urgent care. We went to urgent care, they immediately took him back for a CT, came back with the results quickly and said he has a math on his brain, and you need to go to the emergency room right now. We went across the street, and within an hour, they had done an MRI and had diagnosed him with terminal brain cancer. They gave us a pamphlet and that said that he had probably 12 to 16 months to live. You could do um radiation and chemo and surgery to extend his life, but he would not survive it. And they sent us home. We went home with um just a heart full of shattered dreams, a shattered future of I mean, we just he had just built our home, and like I said, everything was so good, and we had vacations and good family, like family was so good on both sides, like life was so good. And then just in an instance, it was black, dark, there was no nothing. There was no there was no future because I didn't know if he I mean when you have brain cancer, you could die at any minute, right? Like, because it's so it's it's your brain. Um our quality of life was over. Like it was it was we were just gonna be on a downhill spiral. And I am a very optimistic person. So I'm I'm shocked, I'm grossed out by this diagnosis. I am I am in deep, deep, deep grief. But in the deepest of my grief, I was like, I serve a big God who can do big things.

Israel Caminero: 14:11

Amen.

JoBeth Polley: 14:12

And he's gonna save my husband. I believe that. I believed with everything I had in me that he was going to be okay, even though I could not find somebody who survived um glioblastoma, which is what he had, I felt like he was gonna be the one because my faith was so strong, and I was getting videos and messages from people uh all around the world, like in other countries, people praying for him, and people in other languages praying for him, and I knew I was praying and fasting, and so were people in our church, and I was like, God's gonna hear us, and he's gonna be okay, and this is gonna be his testimony.

Israel Caminero: 14:58

Amen.

JoBeth Polley: 14:59

And I'm gonna backtrack just a little. He had been in church his um ever since we've been together, so 13 years, he started going when we got together, and I could always tell that like you know, during invitation or certain certain sermons and stuff, like I feel he's really uncomfortable, but he never would like give his life. That was never he never would do that, and it was always really upsetting to me because like I wanted that for him after his diagnosis. He decided to to do that. He was like, Okay, like I this is important and I want to do this now, and he wanted to be saved, and so um we we met with our preacher and he was saved and he was baptized, and I a preacher a while later was like, Thank God for stage four cancer, and I was like, Oh, brother, I can't get there right now, like to be thankful for this. But um the the cancer gave my husband the opportunity to spend eternity with Christ, that he he had just been postponing. A good friend of mine, she was like, I'm just curious, she's like, How have you prayed for your husband? And like in your marriage, and I was like, Oh my gosh. I was like, My prayer has always been that he would give his life to God before it was too late. It was never that he was gonna lead us spiritually or that he was going to do these big things, it was just that he would do it before it was too late, and he did. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this thing that I have prayed for has happened.

Israel Caminero: 16:37

That's right.

JoBeth Polley: 16:38

I told my mom we were sitting at the counter a few days or a few months after his diagnosis and things were going downhill, and we were talking about it, and I said, If God was at this table with us, and he said, Okay, Jobet, you can have your husband the rest of your life. He's gonna be here, you can grow old together, raise your kids, do the things that you have to do, but he won't go to heaven. Or I can take him now and he'll come be with me forever. Which would you choose? And I told my mom, I would choose a thousand times for him to go now so he could inherit the kingdom, and and she was like, I don't know that I could say that. And I was like, I don't know how you couldn't say that. I'm gonna miss him, it's gonna be hard, and it has proven to be very hard. But I I am happy for him, you know, um that he he got he got something that he didn't even know that he fully desired, you know? Like he he made a big decision when it really mattered, and I'm so happy for him for that. But back to kind of the end, I was in so much communication with God. It was my prayer the whole time was that like you know, God, like you can take him or you can heal him here. No matter what, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving you because the only thing I could imagine that was gonna be worse than losing my husband was gonna be losing my husband and losing my relationship with God.

Israel Caminero: 18:18

Oh wow, that's that's good.

JoBeth Polley: 18:20

And I I wasn't willing to do it, and I had seen so many people just get so bitter after loss and be so ugly, and I was like, Well, I know I don't want to do that. Like, that's for sure not the path I'm gonna choose to go down. And you know, sometimes me showing up sounded like just crying out, like, please give me that peace that surpasses all understanding that I've read of. Like, now would be the time for that. Like, please give me that, like, you know, begging, and sometimes it was just tears, and then after he passed for several months, it was just silence. I didn't have anything to say. Like, I don't know what to say. I begged you for something, and you said no. And so I'm just letting you know that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, and I have nothing to say. In my heart, I knew, or logically, maybe not my heart, in my mind, I knew I had a lot to be thankful for. Um, and I could go through that and go, Thank you for my kids, they're helping, thank you for this house. I'm so thankful. Thank you that we made a decision to get life insurance so that I don't have to sell everything and move into an apartment. Like, you know, with the kids, and you know, like I'm going through this stuff in my head logically, like I I have a lot to be thankful for. But all I could say was I'm here.

Israel Caminero: 19:33

That's right.

JoBeth Polley: 19:34

Like that's it.

Israel Caminero: 19:35

And you know, I'm I'm so thankful myself that of what you just said, as far as you're not going anywhere. A lot of people lose their faith when they battle through things like this. And how can you battle something like this without having God by your side? I feel like the battle would get that much harder without having him there to Help you through it. And you did exactly that.

JoBeth Polley: 20:04

Yeah. So I mean, I see I work, that's my work that I do now is I work with women who are going through deep grief. And I will tell you, it looks very different when I work with women who are strong in their faith than those who have abandoned God. And um, just to be clear, we we choose to abandon God. He doesn't abandon us.

Israel Caminero: 20:25

Right.

JoBeth Polley: 20:25

And even though like I know that it can feel like he's not there sometimes, he is, and you're the one who has the option to keep showing up or to walk away. But I I like preach heavy, like if you are in a deep, dark time of your life, grief or not, like just a dark period, and you are turning away from God, you're shutting God out, you are missing out on the most beautiful opportunity for intimacy with God. There is nothing that is going to bring you closer than something really, really hard. And grief is isolating, and and you know this. Like it's at the end of the day, like you, okay, something somebody dies, or you lose your job, or you get this diagnosis, or something that just terrible happens, your home burns down, and it's like, okay, you're sitting here and you're like, okay, like I'm getting these cards in the mail. People are, you know, wishing us the best, they're praying for us, like they sent $50 or whatever to help with stuff, and then you're like, all these people are bringing over casseroles, and that's really nice, and I'm glad we have that food, and really thankful for that. And then you go in your room and you shut the door, and it's you and your grief. There is nobody that is going to come into that moment with you and make it better. And hugs are nice, talking to people is nice, but at the end of the day, you're laying down with your grief, and you are the only one that can do anything about it. And who else do you have in that moment? God.

Israel Caminero: 22:13

Amen.

JoBeth Polley: 22:14

Like there is nobody else. And so, man, when you when you're grieving and you turn from him, you're turning away from the from your lifeline.

Israel Caminero: 22:23

It makes it harder.

JoBeth Polley: 22:26

I yeah, like you said, I don't know how I mean I think people I don't know, they find ways to make themselves feel better, but like yeah, it just makes it.

Israel Caminero: 22:40

I don't think deep down inside they're happy though. I mean, no one's gonna be happy with a diagnosis like that anyways, but like you said, the peace that God gives you while you're going through it is the best feeling ever.

JoBeth Polley: 22:58

Yeah, yeah, like I've I have had moments, you know, I begged God for that peace. Please, I need respite. I need something, I need a real I need something to like relieve this pain for a minute. And I've begged God for that, and then you know, a little while later, you know, day or two, we clear, I'm like, oh my gosh, I feel okay. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel at peace? Why do I feel okay? And then like, oh, this is what I prayed for, just enjoy it. It may not last super long. So like try to enjoy it, but we you do have the opportunity to meet with the the Prince of Peace and just just to sit with him. And the Bible tells us over and over again that that that we are blessed when we grieve, and that when we're hurting, like that is when like God shows up the best. That's where we can see him, the clearness. That's like one of the things I love about um the book of Job. Gosh, I hope I get this right. Somewhere in there, he says, Up until now my ears have heard you, but now my eyes see you. And that is what grief can do for us. What a blessing.

Israel Caminero: 24:13

That's right.

JoBeth Polley: 24:14

What a blessing that we get to experience that. I'm never gonna be thankful my husband died. I'm not gonna be thankful for that. But I can there is so many blessings that I have witnessed since his passing. I got a phone call from somebody and they're like, gosh, I get emotional every time I think about this. It was one of my husband's friends, and he said, Um, that's a few months after my husband had died, and he said, Um, I just wanted to call and tell you that I go to I go to church now. And he's like, I've stopped drinking. And he said, um, he's like, I it was when he was when my husband was sick, he'd reached out to somebody and he was like, Hey, like, to this person. He was like, I he's like, your prayers aren't working, he's not getting better. And the friend said, Why don't you go to church and pray for him yourself?

Israel Caminero: 25:04

Wow.

JoBeth Polley: 25:05

And he did. And and it's just beautiful because um my husband died and this person's still in church, and he wanted to call and tell me that Travis was the reason that he goes to church and that he he has stopped drinking and he's moved towards more life aligned with Christ. I can be so thankful for that. A soul potentially is saved because of my husband and his tragedy. But my point is that it doesn't matter how bad the situation is. Like when we read about God tur uh take, you know, making beauty from ashes, like this is real. This is it's a real thing, it's not just a scripture or something that sounds pretty or is catchy in a song lyric. Like he does that, and as Christians, we need to choose to believe that what he says is real and it's true, and it applies to us because if we don't, we miss out on so much of the beauty of of who he is in our life and just what this life is about in general.

Israel Caminero: 26:15

Amen. That's so true. You know, it's it's not easy going through what you went through getting a diagnosis, you know, especially after you said you bought the farm, um, you just adopted kids. You know, I mean kids were involved, and you know, their their fathers got diagnosed with something that's terminal. Um how did you manage once your husband made it to glory? How did you manage the farm and you know, raising the kids all on your own and everything like that?

JoBeth Polley: 26:50

So my parents were instrumental in the transition of things, and my uh my husband had brain cancer, so and it was in the front right part of his brain which controls personality. And so the last like six months of his life, he um it was kind of like he had dementia. Okay, and so his he completely changed, he was not the same person anymore. He could mask and like be normal for a little bit because I asked the hospice people, I'm like, what's happening? Or his doctors. I'm like, he's normal around these people, and then comes home and acts like he doesn't even know he's home. And they they can mask or they can act okay out in public, but then they can't when they get home. It's a thing, it's really confusing for caretakers. So my parents moved in with us and really helped us transition, and so he he kind of left us very slowly, and so it allowed me to kind of get my feet under me. There was like so many people that helped my uh best friend. She moved in kind of with me when she was not working, she was at my house and she helped me with the kids a lot, and my parents helped a lot. So, I mean, I had a lot of support, but honestly, like there was just this moment of realizing that like this is all you like it's nice that your parents help and that your friend helps, but like this is temporary, you've got to figure out how to do this on your own. And so I was like figuring it out and like trying to get my feet under me and trying to understand, and very quickly, so seven months after my husband passed away, I met the guy that I'm married to now, and it seemed too soon by a lot of people's standards. Um, but it was it felt like it just like I literally saw him and felt like I will be with that person the rest of my life. And I never had a conversation with him in person. I talked to him on the phone twice because it was work-related and it was very it was all about work, and then I saw him and it was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna marry this guy. And in fact, I was supposed to meet him, and I turned around and got back in my vehicle and postponed our meeting because it was just so overwhelming. So I tell you that to say I was only alone, like with the farm and my kids for seven months, really. Um probably closer to a year before I let him start like coming around and helping and stuff. But I had to learn how to do a bunch of stuff I had no idea how to do was the most frustrating part. And saying things like I don't know a hundred times a day because people would be asking me questions like where are the keys to this? Where's the title to this? Where, you know, how many cows do you have? Like, what about did you make this police payment? I was like, I don't know. I don't, I don't know anything. And so I learned how to do a lot of things. Like, I learned how to drive a tractor, and I grew up on a farm and we had farms, but nobody ever let me on the tractor. So I didn't know how to run it. And so I had to learn how to run the tractor and feed the cows, and it was so empowering to do that. I will say though, that like when it was really jerky and really rough on the tractor, and so like I was like, gosh, the cows are probably looking at me thinking, like, who is this lady? And is this really the person that's responsible for taking care of us now? And I'm like, oh, like when you start feeling judged by animals, that's when it's bad. It's really bad at that point. But I I started to figure it out, and it's really hard. Like, I'm not gonna like I feel even now that I'm remarried, like I'm still my kid's only parent, you know, like they lost their dad. And so, you know, it's he wasn't replaceable. So navigating that with them is hard. Like having a farm is hard. We had a construction company when he passed, and figuring out that business was hard. Like the it's just hard, but it's also, you know, like I I was so intentional about my journey. I would get up in the morning and I would take an ice bath. And the reason I would do that was to remind myself who I was, and it was like a pump up thing. I was like, get in that ice, and like you like you need you need to remember who you are and how tough you are and how strong you are. And I did that by taking an ice bath. And I was like, I'd get out and I'd be like, Ain't nobody else doing this. There's nobody else. It's just like in my situations, getting up and putting themselves in pain and suffering first thing in the morning, like you know, and it like gave me this edge, and I I was articulate. I I ran my recovery and my family and everything around me, like it was a business, because me getting better and healing and making sure my kids were okay was not something that I was just gonna let happen organically. We were gonna have a plan and we were gonna execute it, and that's what we did. Are we like some like you know, poster family? No, we're not, but like we're survivors and we're recovering every day, and a lot of that is just because of that mindset, like I'll figure it out. Everything's figure outable, everything.

Israel Caminero: 32:06

That's right. So, question you you said you grew up in a Christian home and and you went to church and everything like that, and even during your husband's diagnosis, you know, you were still deep in your faith. How did your faith evolve or deepen during the darkest part of your of this journey?

JoBeth Polley: 32:29

Yeah, so oh, this is such a a big question. So it was probably a little bit before my husband got sick that I started realizing that the experiences I was having with God and the way I seen God and you know, seen him and experienced him was very different than what people in my church were having. Like I would go to I would go to church on Sunday and I'm like, okay, I'm hearing this, but I'm experiencing this and reading this, and like for me, this doesn't like really line up. Like I don't I don't know like what's happening, but I don't feel like like the things I'm experiencing you guys are preaching don't really happen and they're not real, and which is hard because um my dad preaches at this church and my family all goes to that church, but like I felt like it wasn't the right place for me, and so I just like I said, I I felt like I went to church, I was like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, go to church, that was really important, um, show up in your community in a certain way, that was really important, but like as far as like having this like um this desire, um, this craving for knowledge and intimacy, like that was kind of increasing. And then when my husband got sick, it was like that was all there was. It was like nothing, nothing of this world brought me any pleasure or contentment or peace, and so it was like I had to go all in on that, and then I mean, let's talk about this. I prayed and believed fully, and God took my husband to heaven, right? So it's like I had this very strong faith, and then was told no, essentially, like, no, this is not what's gonna happen. And so, like I said, I was silent for a while because I just didn't know what to say, and then there was things that started coming up in the church and in my family, and I was like, what does the Bible say? I just got real curious. I got real curious, and like if there's one thing you can do that just feels really good is getting curious and finding answers in the Bible, because like that's the end, right? Like, if you can find answers in the Bible, you don't need somebody else's opinion about it, and it just kind of closes the door on things, you know? Right. And so I just got I was just became so curious, and I was in Bible studies in my community, and I was in Bible study all the time, like I was just constantly in study and really getting to rediscover, like it made me so hungry and so curious that like I got to read and discover God for myself instead of at the feet of a preacher, and that was really huge, it was really huge for me because I didn't want people's opinions. I was out on a job with the guy I'm married to now, my husband, and this guy, the property owner, he started talking about God, and I was like, Oh, let's talk about God, you know. I was talking to him, and he was like, I was telling him, you know, that I was transitioning out of this church that I'd been in my whole life, and and he was like, Well, why don't you come to Bible study and I'll tell you blah blah blah about how things are supposed to be or whatever, and I was so turned off by it because I was like, I don't want another, and I mean this probably sounds rude, but I was like, I don't want another old man telling me what I'm supposed to believe about what the Bible says, and so I, you know, I was like, thank you, no, thank you, and we didn't go, but it just made me like I was like, I want to know for me, I don't want to know somebody's twist or interpretation or any of that. I want to know what the Bible says for me, and I am just in such a wonderful place in my spirituality now that um and through the through the illness and the passing of my husband and discovering Christ, like I'm seeing my desire for material things pass away. That's been really such a gift, um, and it's very different than how I grew up. I grew up like, and part of it's personality and part of it's my raising, is that you always need to be striving for that next level, whatever it is. I was an athlete, so it's like, okay, your best, your highest game's 25, and you get 26 now. You got 26 and you get 27, like you got 30, you gotta get 40. Like it was just like climbing, climbing, climbing, and then it's like, you know, financially you should build success, build wealth, build wealth, build this, consume more, like, like buy more, build more. Like it's like, and it's like I just recently I'm just like, oh, yeah, that doesn't matter.

Israel Caminero: 37:25

Right.

JoBeth Polley: 37:27

And it's so liberating.

Israel Caminero: 37:29

You can't take it with you. That's what I always say, you know.

JoBeth Polley: 37:33

No, I mean, do I want to go on vacations and have like a good life where we can go out and eat with our families and vacation and and do the things we want to do? Yes, but does that need to be in my top three focus every day? No.

Israel Caminero: 37:48

Right. Memories and legacy is what really matters. And yeah. And speaking of You said you got remarried. Now, how do you keep your husband's legacy alive while stepping boldly into your new life that you have of your own?

JoBeth Polley: 38:09

Oh, that's a great question. And I think the biggest thing is character, because he was so generous and he loved people, and it was like, and we were in this situation a lot, and when we were married, like somebody would need like a couple hundred dollars, and he would write the check for it, like knowing that we didn't have it in the account, and then basically we'd go figure out how to make $200 before that check hit the bank. That's the kind of person he was, and I have this conversation a lot with my son because my son loves my husband's things, he loves his clothes, his hats, his boots, like whatever was my husband's. Like, my son's very possessive over it. And I'm like, this stuff's fine that you're you want that, but the way you can honor your dad is how you live your life every single day. And reminding my kids that their father was generous, he gave it didn't matter, it wasn't that he just gave money, he would give of his time. He could be right in the middle of something and he would quit and go help somebody, and that is how we continue his legacy. He had a construction company, but that wasn't his legacy. That's not like that's not at the core who he was. At the core, he was loving and generous and would do anything for others. And that is how I want my kids to live their life and how they will honor him and keep his, you know, keep his legacy moving forward. And hopefully when they have kids someday, they're gonna tell them about their grandpa and how how he was generous. So if we see somebody beside the road with a flat tire, we stop because that's what he would do.

Israel Caminero: 40:00

Amen. That's good. That's good. Now you became a grief recovery specialist, you said, correct? Mm-hmm. Obviously we know what led you to want to help others, right? I'm guessing it's because of what happened to you. So what does the healing look like for you today as far as pouring into all these other females or even males? I'm not sure if you coach males with the grief recovery. Yeah. Can you share a little bit about your grief recovery with my audience?

JoBeth Polley: 40:33

Yeah, so I primarily work with with women just because it just is a better fit for me. I do know men who do this work. So if there are guys listening and they're like, I need help, like I I can hook you up. Like you still reach out. I can I can make connections for you and get you the help that you need. So my husband passed the very, very beginning of 23. We're in 25. Obviously, it's still very fresh, a very fresh loss. But and people do ask me a lot, like, how do you do this work when you have the loss yourself? And the answer is that I know that there is a chapter after this one that's so dark. And I know what it's like to be in that situation where there's just darkness, there is no light, there is no hope, there's just this, there's there's just nothingness. And when I'm on the other side of the table or on the other side of the computer, I know even though they're in that dark place, I know that I'm gonna be part of helping them get to the other side. And I don't dwell on the fact that they're suffering right now. I dwell on the fact that I'm literally taking their hand and walking them to a place where they can see light, where they can be okay again. And for some reason, it does not affect me. Like I can do a session and walk out and I can be okay. Um, and I think it's just that because I'm I'm in the next chapter of being like, okay, like there is I can see good in life again. Like I can look outside and appreciate that the sun is shining or that there's trees or something. Cause for a long time I didn't. I was like, who cares? Might as well be dark for all I care, you know, like there is no beauty in the world. And so it's really just getting people to that other side. And as you know, like sometimes when people are in deep dark grief, like God is not a part of their life by their choice, but He's not there, and it is very seldom that when people come to me, they'll tell me that they're angry at God, or they're the big problem is that they feel like God has abandoned them. Like they never say that it's well, this person died, or this person abandoned me, or this or that. And I'm like, okay, then we get a few, three, four weeks into the work, and they're like, It's God. I feel like God's left me. And I get to walk people through healing their relationship with God. And like we talked about earlier before we hit record, if I can do that for one person, then it's all of it's worth it. So it's it's not a problem for me because I know there's there's light on the other side.

Israel Caminero: 43:20

Amen. That's that's powerful. And I'll have links to all that in the description of the podcast. If anybody that's listening wants to reach out to her and just speak about something you might be going through similar. So Joe Beth, I appreciate you taking the time to be here and sharing your testimony. I know you're a busy person, especially with all the things that you do and running tractors and having cows judge you and everything like that. I'm kidding, I'm totally kidding. I have a question. Was there a a life verse or a Bible verse that stuck with you throughout life, or not even throughout life? Maybe when you started this journey with your husband that you could always go back to and read and it speak to you when you're having a bad day? And what is that life verse and what it means to you?

JoBeth Polley: 44:17

So when I was like in it, like in it, in it, I read Romans eight, like it was um almost like a meditation. I'd read it again and again and again, and I'd listen to it and go over it. I'm not gonna do that right now. But if you are in a place of hurting, there's a lot of comfort found in Romans 8. But the one that I I really think is maybe foundational for people to cling to is um Romans 5, starting with verse 3. And it says that not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, which is like mind-blowing, right? If you're in it, you're like, how am I supposed to glory in this? But you do knowing that tribulation produces perseverance and perseverance character and character hope. Now, hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is given to us, and that is always a comfort to me, even though I can't always understand it, how we can glory in our tribulations biblically. We know that it's something we should do and we know it's available, but actually doing it is um much harder. So we need that confirmation from the word to you know be like, okay, he said it, so I can believe it.

Israel Caminero: 45:48

Amen. Amen. That's a good verse, by the way. Now we're going to my back to the past podcast. And what my back to the past section of the podcast is. If you could tell you from years ago something that you know now that you didn't, what would it be? Like if you can go back in time and tell a younger version or even before you started this journey with your husband or anything like that, something that you learned now that you didn't know then, what would that be?

JoBeth Polley: 46:27

Oh, it would be that I'm thinking like I'm looking at at six-year-old Joe Bat. I would say you're enough and you're good enough. And all these things that you think you need to achieve and accomplish and do don't matter. You're enough, you're worthy of love, and you're worthy of God's love despite anything that you do in your life. I think it would have made a huge difference for a lot of my years if I would have known I was good enough from a young age.

Israel Caminero: 47:09

Amen. Well, you are enough. And God knows that. But I just want to say again thank you for being here and sharing that powerful testimony. It's not easy going through grief and you you went through it and look what you're doing now. You're especially, you know, you try to talk to others and guide them through grief, which is not easy, like you said, because it's fairly new with you too. But but you're doing it and you're doing it because God wants you to do it, and you're obeying and doing that. But before we close, is there anything else you might want to share before we close?

JoBeth Polley: 47:59

No, I think that's it. Maybe, yeah, actually, so I offer like these like 30-minute conversations with people. Um, they're free, but I think that a lot of times people are stuck in confusion. And we know, like, um, you know, you can even say like God's not the author of confusion, and I believe that everybody really knows what they need to do, and that a confused mind does nothing, you know, there's a bunch of negative around being confused. And if you're in a place where you are grieving and you're like, I just don't know what to do, like I want to be better, but I don't know how. I offer these free 30-minute conversations, and people can schedule those, and you you'll you'll have links to that, but I'm not for everybody, and I know that. And I also know that not everybody needs a grief specialist, some people need therapy, some people need to go to rehab, some people just need a friend, and within 30 minutes or less, way less, probably, I can give you a pretty good idea of what your next step should be and help you clear up some of the confusion. And so, you know, I want to offer that to the people listening that you know, give yourself 30 minutes, it's one small step in the right direction towards healing, and you shouldn't really take advantage of it.

Israel Caminero: 49:23

That's right. That's right. And like like we both said, I'll have links to all that in the description of the podcast. You never know, you might have someone reach out and say, Hey, I heard you here.

JoBeth Polley: 49:34

Yeah, that'd be great.

Israel Caminero: 49:35

That would be great. And before we close, do you think you could pray over us?

JoBeth Polley: 49:41

Yeah, for sure. I'd love team. Dear Lord, my father in heaven, I'm so thankful for opportunities like this where we we're just so it's so crazy, and it's we're just so blessed to be able to have conversations that spread your your word and your hope and your life so easily. Like in thinking back to when you were here and how hard it was to share a message and now look at us. Now we can so easily share messages and give messages of hope to people who may know you and some who may not. And I just want to thank you for that. And I want to pray for people who are in deep grief and they they think you've left them. Lord, I pray that you will show up and I pray that they will receive you, and and I don't know what that looks like, or maybe it's a friend that that comes and and shows them who you really are and that you haven't left them. But I just pray for those people that are hurting and that they will see you and see light and realize that there is more to this life after loss, and that that you're gonna be there with them the whole way. And um, I pray for people like us that are uh that are speaking and um getting in the ears of people who are hurting, that we just we say the right things because it's um it's a huge responsibility, and we just want to honor you in everything we do, and just pray that you'll you'll be with each of us and that everything we do today, every step we take, will honor you, and that our love for you will light up the world. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Israel Caminero: 51:26

Amen. Amen. Thank you for that prayer, and thank you again for taking the time to be on the podcast and share your story. And like I said, like I always say, it's her story, but it's his glory. And you know, I don't know what else to say, but God was with you, and God will continue to be with you. And you know, I'm happy for your new life and your kids, and you're still going through grief, grief comes out of nowhere, but you're doing the great thing. You're doing the right thing. I just want to give a shout-out to all the listeners, love it to me. I just want to thank you for tuning in. Listening,