62: How to Have Peaceful Holidays (Without Diet Rules)

If you’ve spent years wasting holidays on guilt, rules, and “starting over Monday,” this episode will feel like an exhale. Peace is possible. And you deserve to experience it—not next year, not when you reach your goal weight, but now.

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Transcript

Welcome to How to Eat Cake on a Diet — a podcast for women who are tired of starting over, fed up with food rules, and ready to lose weight in a way that actually fits real life.

I’m Jody, and I’ve been there. I’ve lost over 165 pounds, tried the extremes, and learned firsthand that success doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from consistency.

This podcast isn’t about cutting out everything you love. It’s not about chasing the next diet.

It’s about learning how to eat in a way that fits your goals and your life — without guilt, without shame, and without starting over every Monday.

Hey everyone… before we get into Thanksgiving, I want to start with something personal.

I started this podcast a year ago, and I haven’t done nearly as much as I probably should to market it or get it out into the universe. I’m going to start doing more of that in the new year. But right now, this podcast has been something much bigger than “content.” It’s been my space to figure myself out.

And if you’ve somehow stumbled into listening to this—if you’ve fallen into this little corner of the internet—and especially if you’re one of the people who has binged episode after episode… wow. I notice it. I see the downloads. And every single time, I’m floored. I’m grateful that something I created exists in the world and that you cared enough to consume it. That means more than you know.

This podcast has been my way of unpacking why I do what I do…

why food felt so complicated for most of my life…

why my patterns were so stubborn…

why breaking out of old habits felt like trying to push a boulder uphill.

And some of my biggest breakthroughs happened while researching and recording these episodes. Like the episode where I finally understood relief-seeking behavior—that so much of my eating had nothing to do with hunger. I was chasing relief. I had built entire habit loops around food to soothe myself, to distract myself, to quiet my brain. And every time I talk about that, so many of you message me saying, “Oh my god, that’s me.”

Or the Hadza episodes—my absolute favorite rabbit hole—which taught me why movement has to be intentional for us. Because we aren’t living in a world where physical activity is built in. I don’t naturally get 10,000 steps. I don’t naturally eat 30 grams of fiber a day. Maybe you don’t either. We have to build those things on purpose.

This podcast helped me learn all of that about myself. And every time someone sends a review or a DM on Instagram saying an episode gave them clarity, or made them feel less alone, or helped them understand themselves better… I can’t explain what that does to me.

Because here’s the truth I haven’t said out loud enough:

Even now, I still choke up thinking about how much time I wasted trying to lose weight.

The amount of years.

The amount of diets.

The amount of money.

The amount of life I lost chasing something I didn’t know how to do.

And the only way I’ve been able to make peace with that—not perfectly, but enough—is by believing that maybe my test in this life is my testimony.

Maybe all those years weren’t for nothing.

Maybe the point was that I could help someone else shorten their time in pain.

Maybe I could help a woman in her 60s or 70s not spend the last decades of her life restricting and failing.

Maybe someone in her 20s or 30s will hear my story and won’t start her family overweight and exhausted and ashamed like I was.

Maybe I can be the interruption I never had.

And if this podcast can do even a little bit of that, then every minute I spend here is worth it.

I’m grateful for you. Truly.

So let’s talk Turkey and really holidays in general. 

And before we even get into what I want you to do on Thanksgiving… let me tell you what I'M doing. 

As you know, I’m still in a deficit right now. I’m on my final push through December. And even with that, here’s my plan for Thanksgiving:

I’m going to have a small, normal breakfast.

Then I’ll nibble on appetizers for lunch—soft cheese, veggies with dip, bacon wrapped dates, chips and queso… all of it.

We eat early in my family, around 2–3 p.m., so I’ll have that early dinner.

And honestly? Probably another round of dinner later.

And dessert for sure. Pumpkin and pecan pie—always a sliver of both.

There will be no measuring, no tracking, no calorie math in my head.

On Thanksgiving, calories don’t count. I don’t know if you knew that—but they don’t.

But here’s the part that does matter: I’m already preparing for the 28th.

I’m food-prepping four salads.

I’m prepping a few simple dinners.

If I end up with leftover turkey—amazing. Turkey breast is a perfect lean protein. If not, I still have everything I need ready in my fridge.

Because Thanksgiving isn’t the important day.

November 28th is.

Getting back into structure is what moves your life forward. Not over complicating or overpromising or over restricting one of 365 days in a year.

I’m also doing a Turkey Trot this year—a little 5K. I haven’t trained. But I work out six days a week and can run an hour, so worst-case scenario, I’ll be that girl doing a very humble, possibly tragic 60-minute 5K. It’s fine. I'll be fine...I tell myself.

Now let’s zoom out.

You don’t get better at Thanksgiving by dieting through it.

You don’t “practice” Thanksgiving.

It’s not a skill you level up.

It’s one day. One moment.

And if you’re around my age—47—you might get twenty or thirty more of these. That’s it. That hits differently in midlife. You start to realize that life is made of moments, not macros.

So you have three options:

So yes—technically, pre-tracking your whole day and not participating in Thanksgiving is an option. You absolutely can do it. If you’re eating in a deficit right now, and you feel safest staying in that deficit, that’s your choice. I respect body autonomy. You get to spend your calories however you want.

But I will say this with love:

If that’s your plan, I just want you to pause and ask yourself where that’s coming from.

Because if you’re tracking every last bite on Thanksgiving so tightly that you can’t even enjoy the meal or participate in the day… I don’t know that that’s coming from a calm, grounded place. I don’t know that it’s coming from freedom. And I’m hesitant to encourage anyone to white-knuckle their way through a holiday they only get a limited number of.

And honestly… if you’re choosing that, then you don’t really need my help. You already know how to track. You already know how to hit your numbers. You already know how to micromanage your calories.

But what I’d ask you is:

What’s the reality of your expectation for one single day of enjoying yourself?

One day won’t break you.

One day won’t undo your progress.

One day isn’t a test.

If you choose to track it, that’s fine. That’s your right.

But it’s not something I wish on anyone for Thanksgiving.

Not because it’s wrong…

but because I want more peace for you than that.

Option 2 is using your normal meal structure—your breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack and dessert—just like any other day.

And honestly, this is the most underrated option, because it gives you enough structure to feel stable without forcing you into “diet mode” on a holiday.

This isn’t about restriction.

This is about rhythm.

If you know that having your breakfast, and then something at noon, and then a dinner plate, and then a little dessert after—if that kind of flow keeps you from grazing for 8 hours straight, then this might be the option that makes you feel the most like yourself.

And I want to be very clear:

This is not controlling the day.

This is supporting the day.

You still get to enjoy the food.

You still get to taste everything.

You still get to make a plate like everyone else.

You’re just keeping some boundaries around the chaos.

You can be present.

You can enjoy your people.

You can participate.

You just eat in the pattern your body’s used to.

That’s it.

Simple.

Supportive.

Not obsessive.

Option 3: Enjoy the Day Without Binging

Option 3 is the one most women end up choosing once they have skills under their belt:

Enjoy the day. Eat the foods. Don’t binge.

And the reason this option works is because it’s honest.

It’s adult.

It’s midlife energy.

It’s, “I’ve done enough holidays where I’ve gone all-or-nothing, and I’m over it.”

This is you giving yourself permission to participate—to eat the mashed potatoes, the rolls, the cheese board, the pie—without diving into that “make myself sick” territory that so many of us grew up thinking was normal.

There’s Thanksgiving-full…

and then there’s self-punishment.

You know the difference.

Option 3 lets you live the day without turning it into a calorie exam.

You’re not tracking.

You’re not restricting.

You’re not micromanaging.

You’re also not binging.

You’re simply practicing normalcy.

You’re letting the moment be the moment.

You’re letting the holiday be a holiday.

And honestly? This is the option I want for most women.

Not because it’s “right,”

but because it’s freeing.

This is the option where you can look back the next morning and say,

“Yep. I lived my life. And now I’m ready to get back to my rhythm.”

And that—that—is what keeps you consistent.

And here’s the perspective I want you to hold:

Thanksgiving isn’t a setback.

It’s not a threat.

It’s not something to overcome.

It’s a moment.

A memory.

A connection point.

A day you only get so many more of.

You’ve already missed enough holidays because of dieting.

You don’t need to miss this one.

Celebrate.

Enjoy your people.

Enjoy your food.

And then get back to living the lifestyle that supports your life—not controls it.

I’m grateful for you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

And remember —

You don’t need to earn your worth by shrinking your body.

You don’t need to start over on Monday.

Just show up.

Keep showing up.

Because weight loss works — when you do the work.

I’m Jody, and this is How to Eat Cake on a Diet.

I’ll see you in the next episode.