Boundaries for the Holidays

Navigating the holiday season often brings challenges, particularly regarding personal boundaries with family and friends. We explore the significance of setting those boundaries, sharing how they can preserve relationships while enhancing personal comfort. 

• Reflecting on personal experiences during holiday gatherings  
• The balance between celebration and personal comfort  
• Importance of setting boundaries for self-care  
• How to articulate boundaries without damaging relationships  
• Recognition of nonverbal cues in boundary setting  
• Encouragement to reflect on personal limits and goals  
• The importance of mutual respect in relationships  
• Establishing both outward and inward boundaries for personal growth

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:04

Welcome to another episode of Leo's Liberation. I'm your host, ray, and I want to welcome you to the Monday before Christmas. For all those of us that celebrate it, if you have another faith or don't celebrate at all, welcome to your Monday. A new week and a fresh start. But then again, every day should be a new chance to try again and be thankful that you actually have that chance to try again. So, yes, I say welcome folks.

Speaker 1 0:29

I'm excited christmas is here and a new year is on the horizon, our first christmas party of the year, as I mentioned, uh, friday. Well, it started out mellow. I think it went well, nothing too rowdy, nothing too crazy. We're getting a little bit older so we can't do the things that we used to do, but in the beginning, you know family and friends they did join us for a few hours or so. We had food, conversation, music and then the night ended in karaoke, which is probably the best way to end a gathering or a party. It's just to sing, whether you can do it or not, just you and your family members get up there and you sing. So, yes, it or not, just you and your family members get up there and you sing. So, uh, yes, we all got to pass the mic around sing a song of your choice. Uh, there were some songs that we were all excited about. There were some songs it's like, let that one go. Um, not too many christmas songs, though. I was a little, a little shocked by that, but I guess when you're doing karaoke you really don't think christmas too much. Um, but yeah, it was great. The house was, uh, decorated fully. Uh, everyone took pictures in front of the tree when they got here. So you know, we had a great time. I hope all of our guests had a great time At least they seem they did.

Speaker 1 1:32

But you know I can't ask for much more than that. You know, like I always do, I just try not to ask for much more. I try to be happy with what I get. You know, minimalist, if you want to call me that, I don't think so. I'm just happy with what I get. I try to make the best out of, out of every situation.

Speaker 1 1:47

So, you know, I have noticed this year, though, that my sweet tooth is seems to be missing in action a little bit. I can't say that I'm complaining, though. This means less work for me in the gym after the holiday ends, which is a great thing, but I will say it does make it a when you're trying to taste, test those treats that you're making for everyone. I did have one night where I wanted to sit down and I tried to eat like ice cream and I think I only made it through like maybe half the cup before I was like what am I doing? Like it really didn't even taste right. So I think I'm happily I'm on the road to, I think, eating healthier sugars versus the artificial ones that are supposedly so bad for you. But you know they taste so great. But you know they taste so great. Um, but you know enough about me and fitness or trying to be fit at least. Uh, but you know, nevertheless, we did have a great time.

Speaker 1 2:36

The weather was super cold, uh, to give it that winter feeling. So you know it, it kind of ruined our plans a little bit to go sit outside by the fire pit because it was a tad bit too cold and there was a breeze and people just weren't feeling that was a tad bit too cold and there was a breeze and people just weren't feeling that. But we, you know the house was warm and you know the vibes were great and the conversation was great. So, you know, we do have a Christmas Eve party coming up that we were, I think, invited to, kind of somewhat. I'm not sure if the second invitation is coming or not, but I'm not sure if we plan on doing that, because we have that one and then we have another one this upcoming weekend, which, I'm not going to lie. After the first party I was like I just need just a day, just a little bit of break, a little bit of a break before we hit the next party or gathering I should say party gathering all the same. But anyway, I needed a break.

Speaker 1 3:24

And plus, for Christmas, even Christmas, we tend to just kind of veg out and do absolutely nothing, um, which I think you guys kind of hear me say a lot for my weekends, but we do. Uh, for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, we do enjoy relaxing at home in our pajamas, eating whatever we want to eat and basically watching movies while we sleep. Um, you know, I'm starting to find that there's actually a lot of couples who actually kind of practice this If not, I wouldn't say families, because when you have kids they're a little bit more excited about the holiday, but there are a lot of couples who seem to practice this come home and veg out thing. It feels great. I mean, it's you guys enjoying your peace together. So what could be better in this world than sitting down and actually you have that perfect vibe with someone where you can actually sit down and enjoy peace with them and not exchange a single word other than hand me the remote or can you get me a soda. So if that's your plans for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I'm with you. I will most likely be there with you, just relaxing and enjoying a quiet day off. So, all right. So it appears that we are at another Monday and we didn't start it together, but we're going to close it together and we're going to move through the week together, as we always do. So you know this week's topic, obviously.

Speaker 1 4:43

You know the water cooler conversation at work kind of sparked today's thought and it comes down to boundaries and when is it a good time to set them? Uh, I think too many of us let some people overstep that line that shouldn't be crossed. Um, I think family and close friends may be more apt to do this, just because of the, the relationship that they share with us. How many of us have like that one, a family member or that in-law that just shows up without warning and they impose or try to impose their will in your home or your sanctuary, whichever one you want to refer to it as. Or do we have that friend that crosses the line between, you know, being humorous and offensive, you know, but you know we let these things happen out of love and letting these people be who they are. You know, I think sometimes we fear that saying something will damage that spirit or ruin the relationship or, worse, it can remove them from our lives altogether, depending on how badly they take the comment or the correction.

Speaker 1 5:37

The downside to being, you know, social animals is that we need interaction with other people. So it's kind of a blessing and a curse, if you will, but you know, setting boundaries it actually allows us to set the stage on how we want people to treat and communicate with us, per the cleveland clinics definition. But boundary setting it does promote healthy relationships. It empowers us to be reasonably assertive without looking like a complete a-hole. But most importantly, it keeps others from manipulating, um, manipulating you and taking your kindness for weakness or just basically running aok in your life because for them. It's fun.

Speaker 1 6:12

So the reason I'm this topic hits home a bit. Well, you know, the Christmas holidays here, this is when we have family gatherings, exchange of gifts, light hearts, warm personal tones, things like that. But you know, with this, as it does with, every family gathering brings a mix of personalities and you know, obviously as we all grow, we outgrow each other to some extent. But on a side note, I will say this though Christmas is probably the most peaceful day of the year. When I was a police officer, this was the one day where there truly was a sense of peace. You had a few bad things happen, but nothing seriously drastic or crazy like you would say, like the summertime, 4th of July, but most of the country, which is as far as I can speak, and at least the area or the city that I patrolled in, but everything just seemed to be at rest, everything was still, which was the best feeling you could possibly ask for, right. But you know, back to the mixed personalities.

Speaker 1 7:05

So this can bring about a clash of personalities and this is where boundary setting needs to come into play. So there are ways to do this without destroying a relationship. Feelings may be a bit hurt, but if the love is truly there, the relationship will last and hopefully this thing brings you guys closer together because there's a little bit more respect within that relationship now and understanding. So as soon as you meet someone, obviously listening will allow you to learn quite a bit about them. But once you've heard and shared, established boundaries if needed, because you don't always have to establish boundaries that just seems kind of kind of insane that you're like these are my boundaries. You don't have to do that each and every time.

Speaker 1 7:40

In most cases I don't think you'll have to, because most of us have this innate ability to communicate without communicating, which is, you know, paying attention to those nonverbal cues, like body language, which are odd roles to guard its stances, the expressions of annoyance or disinterest. These things allow us the time to alter our behavior, our tone and, more importantly, it allows us the time to alter our behavior, our tone and, more importantly, it allows us the time to open up the floor to communicate with this person. What are the boundaries here? Where's the line of offensive and where's the line of respect with you? This is a time where you guys have that conversation because you're just getting to know each other anyway. So it's, I mean, no harm, no foul, right? So the good thing is, if you forget to set boundaries early, it's never too late. Just stay consistent, and communicating like this improves relationships, reciprocity and longevity.

Speaker 1 8:26

Lastly, keep in mind that boundary setting can't it can't have its effect on everyone. Some people are who they are and you can choose to invest energy to understand this person to you know, maybe continue to build that relationship with them, or you can limit your interactions with them or avoid them altogether. With them, or you can limit your interactions with them or avoid them altogether. There's no need to use boundary setting as a tool of manipulation if you're seeking to have a healthy relationship with someone. So here we are, guys.

Speaker 1 8:51

Challenge of the week Think about boundaries you want to set going into this holiday, but think ahead of the game. Also, establish boundaries going into the new year. It's better to draw a line before you burn a bridge, right? But don't only think about setting boundaries with people. Think about setting boundaries with yourself as well, because I think that's one thing that we definitely forget to do. It's always, you know, looking out at the world versus looking in at ourselves, sometimes because it's such a busy place, right, but definitely set those boundaries with yourself as well and, you know, try to put these things into practice. Put them in as goals for yourself for the year. Not saying it has to be a resolution, but definitely just try to put these things into practice.

Speaker 1 9:33

I'm signing off from another episode of Leo's Liberation. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday, folks. Enjoy the time with family and friends, take care of yourself and each other and don't forget to get out and get those last minute gifts and be kind of those who are working this holiday. Remember you never know what someone else may be going through and a simple positive affirmation can change the outcome of many things. But you know, please follow me on whatever platform you're listening to this podcast on, and give me a like or rating and I'll talk with you folks on Friday. Merry Christmas.