Your Love, My Love, Our Love: The Universe is Love

It's Valentine's Day and our "Love Is In The Air" series is coming to a close. What better topic to cover on this hallmark day than Love? This episode delves into the multifaceted nature of love, exploring its existence across species, its chemical effects, and the importance of communication, empathy, and self-love in nurturing relationships. The hosts encourage listeners to reflect on their personal experiences with love and invite them to share their stories of connection and growth. 

• Delve into the universality of love across species 
• Discuss the feel-good chemicals released by love 
• Explore the pain of losing love and its emotional impact 
• Highlight the need for communication in relationships 
• Emphasize respecting individuality and practicing empathy 
• Offer methods to keep the spark alive in long-term relationships 
• Discuss the crucial role of self-love in forming healthy ties 
• Explore the dynamics of long-distance relationships and love's strength 
• Invite listeners to share their own love stories and reflections

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:05

you know, love is like that favorite hoodie you can't live without. It's comforting, a bit worn around the edges, but it fits just right. But you know there's a question are we humans the only ones raiding the closet for that comfy feeling? How's it going, folks? Welcome to another episode of leo's liberation, the podcast where we work to unlock our potential and grow to be better versions of ourselves on a weekly basis. It's me Dre. And happy Valentine's Day for all those that celebrate, of course. And today we're exploring the wild, wonderful and sometimes wacky, underestimated world of love. So let's get right to it, because love exists across all species. So, you know, are we special snowflakes in the universe of emotions? Turns out not so much.

Speaker 1 0:49

Let's chat about our animal friends for a quick second. You ever, you ever watch penguins doing their like little pebble proposal thing? Yep, that's right, penguins propose with a pebble. And you know, um, how about elephants that mourn the loss of their herd? You know, tears are shed and they do have their version of a funeral. And you know, don't get me really started on dogs, but you know I love my dogs to death. But you leave the house for five minutes or five days, the welcome party is pretty much the same Tails wag, they jump and they slaughter all over you. You know, signs might call it attachment or instinct, but isn't that just a fancy way of saying they feel something profound. So maybe love isn't exclusively human, maybe it's just a secret sauce and a recipe of life, you know, sprinkled genetically across species, bonding us all in this shared experience.

Speaker 1 1:34

So you know the euphoria of being loved and I guess the question would be why does love feel so freaking good? Why does it make you feel the way it makes you feel? And you know, imagine your favorite song coming on the radio. You know, the windows down, the volumes up. You know that's a rush, right. You know you feel great about that. That moment you're locked in that moment, you know, multiply it by a thousand. You know love releases a cocktail of feel good chemicals in our brains. You know you have dopamine, oxytocin and you know pretty much a natural drug pack for the ultimate party is pretty much being released when you feel that emotion of love. But it's more than just biology. You know. Being loved tells us we're seen, we're heard and valued in a world that often feels chaotic and impersonal. It's like finding a lighthouse when you're lost at sea. You know that beacon that flashes, you know, in the foggy night, and it says, hey, you matter. So it does really have a really deep impact on who we are and how we perform on a daily basis.

Speaker 1 2:38

But you know, on the flip side of that, why does love hurt so much when you lose it? You know it almost feels like your world is crushed in a sense, and you know you flip the coin and you know. Then there's that gut-wrenching pain of losing someone you love and it's like the same favorite song suddenly brings you to tears. Why does it hurt so bad? Well, you know, when we let someone in, they become a part of our story. And you know, inked in the pages of our lives. You know, when we let someone in, they become a part of our story. And you know, inked in the pages of our lives. You know, as poetic as that may sound, losing them is like ripping out those pages, you know, leaving tattered edges and unfinished sentences. It's grief, but it's also the echo of love that once filled that space.

Speaker 1 3:18

So you know, pain reminds us that we, we, we care deeply, that we dare to invest pieces of ourselves in someone else or something else, and maybe that's a kind of beauty in itself, you know, a testament to our capacity to feel. You know we're all not monsters and I think at the end of the day, everybody's trying to achieve the same thing. We just go about it a little bit differently. But, yeah, I think you know you may look at someone and be like there's no way in the world they love. You know they love, or someone loves them. I pretty much guarantee you that's a, that's a lie. You know everybody has a mother and even at one point in your life your mom loves you, even for those of you who may not feel that way. But you know we're all loved by someone, whether it be a friend, family member or freaking pet, but we're all loved by someone.

Speaker 1 4:06

So you know how do you basically form a healthy you know a healthy love. How do you create this? Because in some cases, yeah, it just pops up and it's there, but in other cases you kind of have to work at it. Marriage, for instance you know you should love each other prior to being married, but you have to work at it to keep that love alive. So you know how do we navigate this roller coaster without losing our lunch. Basically, you know it's a lot of ups and downs, I think, and our in our minds, you know we're building a healthy, loving relationship. It's less about grand gestures and more about the little daily choices that we make. So every every little inch of energy that you put into something is basically it's basically, you know you working at love.

Speaker 1 4:53

So you know, and communication is, is probably one of the biggest things I kind of, you know, preach and practice this as much as I can, and it's a little bit cliche for a reason, but you know you talk about everything, the good, the bad, the weird dreams you had last night. Open dialogue builds trust and it can go a long way. And when you stop communicating, I think that's your first step to you know, basically losing love or losing interest in love for someone. So you know you want to respect individuality. Of course, you know we're all whole people. You're a whole person and so is you know, your partner and you know you celebrate your differences instead of trying to mold each other into clones.

Speaker 1 5:34

I think that's where a lot of relationships go south is that you don't want a partner, you don't want a spouse, you don't want a friend, or you know that you know your ride or die. You want somebody you can control and this is why a lot of people don't get far. You know, I look at a lot of folks dating nowadays. They don't get far because they're too busy trying to control each other versus getting to know one another. So, you know, try not to mold them as much. You know it's kind of like a Venn diagram, if anybody's ever, you know, seen one or dealt with one, but you know you cherish the overlap but don't erase the outer circles pretty much. So you know you also want to practice empathy. So, you know, try to be, try to put yourself in their shoes, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 6:23

You may not understand where they're coming from or why these things bother them, or you know why they feel the way they feel about you. Sometimes somebody may. You know, it's always scary to be the first person to say I love you in a relationship because you're not sure of the response you're going to get and I guarantee you anyone listening has been there to you. Anyone listening has been there. But if you're the first person to actually, you know, you know, say those words, trust me, there there's a lot of anxiety placed right there, at least in those few seconds, until you get a response back. And you know, the first thing you pay attention to usually is body language. It's not even the fact that they say it fast enough or too slow or if they even respond at all. You're paying attention to their body language, because that body language, at that moment, when you first say I love you to someone, it speaks volumes, volumes, folks. So obviously you always want to practice empathy. You know, understand where they're coming from. It can turn conflicts into opportunities for growth.

Speaker 1 7:11

So when you're arguing, you know, take a second, take a second out. Hopefully no one's arguing today. Hopefully everybody's finding a way to kind of, you know, take a step, take a second out. Hopefully no one's arguing today. Hopefully everybody's finding a way to kind of, you know, find that love. But if you're arguing, take a second out and truly hear them and put yourself in their shoes for a second and, you know, see if you can make sense of what's going on. Um, so, you know, we kind of just talked about it.

Speaker 1 7:29

But keeping that spark alive, this is probably one of the hardest things the longer you're together. But you know, routine can kryptonite and you know, just getting into that day-to-day grind where you wake up, you go to work, you come home, you eat dinner how's your day? You go to bed, you may sleep apart, you may sleep together, but there's really no spice in your relationship. So you want to surprise them every now and then plan something spontaneous. You know something they probably wouldn't even expect, or something that you used to do that brought you both joy, that probably brought you close together in the first place. Or, you know, just switch up your netflix queue. Uh, you know, you know I'm a big horror fan. I'll watch horror movies um, pretty much all day, if you let me, but every now and then. Yeah, I'm not really a fan of chick flicks, but every now and then, yeah, you have to turn one on just to kind of, you know, make that connection. So novelty actually keeps things fresh and and we just had our BDSM episode yesterday so you have plenty of novel things to try at this moment.

Speaker 1 8:20

So, you know, I've also posted a few clips of a conversation I had with a friend last summer that deals with, you know, the five love languages. So definitely check it out on the social media sites. It's a great listen, and, as I was kind of listening back and breaking that conversation up. That was, you know. I kind of realized exactly how fun that conversation was. So definitely, please take a listen. It's on my social media sites. The five love languages is broken up into five separate clips running around, running somewhere around five, six minutes long, if you have the time. So you know.

Speaker 1 8:52

But let's go beyond the questions here. You know, here's something that you want. How does self-love fit into all of this? We often seek love outwardly but neglect the person staring back at us in that mirror. And could the journey of loving others start with embracing ourselves? Flaws and all. So this maybe goes out to the couples, this goes out to the single people, if you're with somebody tonight or not. I've always been told, and I'm pretty sure everyone's heard it. But how can you expect others to love you when you don't love yourself? Your love can actually be projected in a very awkward and hard to understand way if you don't love yourself, because you're still trying to figure that out. So I honestly say, before you maybe sometimes start to invest that energy in someone else, make sure you invest it in yourself first.

Speaker 1 9:42

But you know what about love's ability to transcend time and distance? You know, think about long distance relationship, which is how my relationship started. I think we went about two and a half years long distance and that was writing letters, maybe the occasional phone call and maybe the occasional visit. So there was a lot of trust and a lot of ups and downs with that process, but you know, we made it through and here we are today, 20 something years later. So don't don't discount your long distance relationships. There's something to it because, you know, distance makes the heart grow fond, right? So you know.

Speaker 1 10:13

But you know, think about those long distance relationship or loved ones who've, you know, passed away. And not to make this dark, we're definitely trying to keep this light for the sake of Valentine's Day. But you know, love comes in many different forms, right, you have love for family, love for friends, love for your spouse, your partner. You know there's many types of love, but for the sake of Valentine's Day, I'm definitely focusing more so on love for your partner, your ride or die, your true BFF, in a sense, the connection, often, even still, though, after you lose relationships or you're just jumping into one, that connection once you make it with someone, I don't care if you've been apart for 15, 16, 20 years. Care, if you've been apart for 15, 16, 20 years, even if you think you had a bad break and you may hate that person's guts, I guarantee you there's some type of residual essence laying with inside you and it's going to sit with you pretty much for the rest of your life. We all leave imprints on each other, whether we want them there or not. So, like I said, you know podcast way back, but you know we all encounter each other for a reason and you know, maybe love is less about physical presence and more about emotional, uh, resonance. So, you know, let's uh close this thing out because I want you guys definitely to get to your date night.

Personal Love Stories and Evolution

Speaker 1 11:23

And at the end of the day, you know, love is a tapestry woven through, uh, you know, threads of joy, pain, growth and connection. Um, it's universally sought after, yet personally experienced. You know it's kind of poetic yet again, maybe it's just Valentine's Day doing that, but you know. So, whether you're floating around on, you know, cloud nine nursing a broken heart or navigating the in-betweens, remember that love is a journey, it's not a destination, and it's really going to take a lot of work, guys. But you know, embrace the ride, the twist the turns and the occasional potholes, because you're going to run into a lot of that if you stay with someone long enough.

Speaker 1 11:53

And you know, before we wrap up, I'd love to hear your stories, if you have any to share. You know what does love mean to you. How have you, uh, seen it evolve in your life and how has it helped your life even more so? Um, you know, hit me up on social media and let's keep this conversation going if you want. And, uh, thanks for hanging out with me on leo's liberation. Until next time, keep loving fiercely and living authentically and, you know, take care of yourself and each other. Have a great day. Thank you, ooh, thank you.