When Falling Down Becomes the Best Way Forward

A slice of humble pie can be the universe's way of asking us to shed our old skin and grow into something new and refreshed. That's exactly what happened to me recently, prompting this deep dive into how we process setbacks at different stages of life.

Remember being in your twenties when a significant setback felt like the apocalypse? That's the beautiful thing about perspective—it evolves with age. What once might have derailed me for months now lingers for just days. Not because the pain is any less sharp, but because resilience provides a different lens through which to view our challenges.

The American Heart Association's framework for redefining failure offers practical wisdom for anyone wrestling with disappointment. Don't dwell on past mistakes—your brain has already recorded the incident and is working behind the scenes to help you avoid similar situations. Focus on future goals, using perceived failures as fuel for motivation. Don't avoid confronting failure, but don't stubbornly persist with failing approaches either. The definition often attributed to Einstein rings true: doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting different results is indeed a form of madness.

Perhaps most importantly, adjust quickly by viewing setbacks as experiments rather than personal deficiencies. We're all works in progress, constantly cycling through integration and disintegration that humbles us and connects us more deeply with the world. No matter our age or achievements, growth never stops—it's the lifeblood of our existence and what keeps life interesting.

Ready to transform your relationship with setbacks? Follow Leo's Liberation on your favorite platform, leave a rating or comment, and join me Friday as we continue this journey together.

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Transcript

Setbacks and Growth at Any Age

Speaker 1 0:06

The ultimate lesson is that there is no immunity, no matter our age or the size of our retirement account, from going through constant cycles of integration and disintegration in which we are humbled and hopefully set to rights with the world. Again, it's about David White. Hey there, welcome to another episode of Leo's Liberation, the podcast where we work to unlock our potential and grow to be better versions of ourselves. On a weekly basis, I'm your host, dre, and it's been a minute since I've sat in this chair and released words into this mic. Life has been a busy one lately and lots of good and positive moments accompanied with lessons for me to grow on. And even in my 40s, I'm still growing. So never stop growing, folks. I can't push that enough like. That is probably the. The lifeblood of our existence is that we never stop growing, we never stop learning, and it's the one thing that keeps life interesting for sure, um. So, basically, anyhow you know, welcome to season two of legal separation.

Speaker 1 1:02

Every episode will most likely start with a chosen quote to get the juices flowing on a mond Monday and to get us in a mood to unwind on Friday. And yes, we are sticking with the schedule laid out as before. So the quote at the beginning is from Irish poet David White, and the reason for me choosing this quote? Well, let's mention I've had a lot of great time since we wrapped up season one with our Valentine's. Love is in the Air set. But I've also been served a huge chunk of humble pie. And I'll be damned if, every time you see or begin to see, you know and feel the light at the end of the tunnel, you are literally knocked off your horse and either sent back to a new starting point, you know, which is perfectly fine, but it's rare that we're sent back to the very beginning, um, even though it may feel that way, that you know you have to start from scratch, but that's not always the case, because you know whatever's happens happened Right, but you know you're sent back to a new starting location to continue growing as a person.

Speaker 1 2:00

I think, and I think that my most recent unfortunate consequence is a way for me to shed this old skin and grow into a new, more refreshed version of myself. And you know, I remember being in my twenties and when something bad happened, you know, of a greater magnitude, you know, it felt like the world was literally going to end. You know, no exaggeration. But you know, it's just the mindset of a young person, or maybe some young people in general, or maybe just people in general. Um, you know some people, they, they have this energy about them, it's that old soul energy, like they've been here before.

Speaker 1 2:34

But a lot of us are new souls and some of these things we're just experiencing for the first time, um, but you know, my setback this time around wasn't the first time for me to experience that. But you know, it's one of those cuts. Every time it happens it hurts just as bad as the last one. So it is what it is. It's going to move on with life, promise I'll be okay. But you know, those old souls, you got to love them. Um, I can't wait until, uh, you know I have that level of stoicism. Um, maybe reincarnation is a thing I don't know Anyhow.

Perspective Changes Everything

Speaker 1 3:07

So you know I granted, so granted, I was served a slice of humble pie. You know, the taste only lingered, probably for a few days, maybe a week at the most, versus months, and I don't consider it a failure, even though I felt like a failure for a brief second. But you know, the lovely lenses of resilience afforded me the opportunity to see things. You know things just a bit differently. But what happens if you're a person to experience a setback and see it as a failure and you, for some reason, cannot get over or get past this failure? This is where I think perspective plays a role, because perspective comes with age, right. And if you're not there yet, trust me, be patient, it will come. Perspective will come to you and when it does, you will see the world and this whole new light. You know, hopefully with a positive touch, but not rose colored lenses, but you will see it in a whole new light.

Don't Dwell on Past Mistakes

Speaker 1 3:58

But you know, basically, the American Heart Association. They released an article I think was back in 2023, that focused on redefining failure and overcoming setbacks. Obviously, because you worry too much, you know these things can be bad for your health, right? I found the article interesting, with some realistic and constructive ways to get over these inevitable bad experiences, and they actually have three do's and three don'ts listed and we'll kind of go a don't do, don't do, right. So we'll swap it up, but the first one is going to be don't dwell on past mistakes. Focus on what you may see as a failure only sustains depression and slows down progression. Don't worry, your brain has recorded the incident and it's making adjustments to help you with preventing duplicating the error.

Speaker 1 4:44

The great thing about our bodies is your brain. No matter what is designed to keep you alive. I don't care if you feel like you, you know, if you're in your right mind or if you're completely out of your mind. Your brain is 100% there to keep you alive and your body's gonna follow suit. But definitely as far as don't dwell on past mistakes. I keep this in mind with this folks, this is literally in my eyes. This is more about superficial things, not some deep-rooted things that may have happened in your childhood or something like that. Sometimes those things can be superficial, but we see them as major issues. But maybe re-examine some of these things.

Focus on Future Goals

Speaker 1 5:20

But obviously past mistakes, or what can be considered as mistakes, um, or failures, um, you know, sometimes they can result in things like PTSD. Um, you know that's, uh, you know that can apply to anyone. Um, specifically, that's a traumatic event happening in their life, um, so, yet again, your brain is going to do what it can to, you know, basically record the incident and, you know, help you react to it a little bit better next time. But sometimes our brain gets stuck and it just keeps kind of playing on a loop in a sense, or playing things when we don't want it. So, anyway, the next one here that you want you want to kind of focus on future goals, right? So, just as we mentioned, you know we learn from our mistakes, which is, you know, we don't want to dwell on the past. So, as you move forward to achieve that goal, use the perceived failure and fuel or as fuel for motivation.

Speaker 1 6:13

Um, you know, I don't care how stoic a person may seem, um, and pretty much, uh, pretty pretty much everyone I've encountered or know despises failure on some level. So, basically, you know, we all know a negative, you know a negative person in our life. There's always that pessimist that that person, just, you know, for some reason, has. You know three negatives for a year one positive as to why things won't work out. Whenever you encounter these people, everything that they say negative, you use that as fuel to go prove them wrong. Um, to make you know, to make for that positive outcome. Is that always going to be the case? No, sometimes they're right. But you know, I'm not just going to give them the satisfaction of letting them, letting them be right. I want to try to prove them wrong first. And then you know, yeah, I failed twice in a day, who cares? Uh, it's not that big of a deal, but you forward, right.

Embrace Failure, Adjust Quickly

Speaker 1 7:04

So the next one there is you don't want to be an avoider. So accept and learn from these little battles that you lose. Right, the war is to achieve. And I'd say, instead of saying you messed up big time, maybe you know a good way to embrace setback versus avoiding it is to view it as a minor screw up. Right? This will. I think it'll help get you back on track faster, or at least as the article says. But you know it'll help you get back on track faster versus you trying to take the long way around things and maybe still end up with the same result.

Speaker 1 7:40

So you know, look at, look at embracing some of that stuff as far as failure goes. But you know that kind of segues right into being a seeker. You know you want to go out, you want to seek success, you want to seek achievement. Being a seeker, you know you want to go out, you want to seek success, you want to seek achievement. And you know when you do this, failure is actually more acceptable. It burns a little less when you're expecting it to happen. And you know experimenting can be fun, you know.

Speaker 1 7:54

So, basically, you know, if you have a river and you've tried every method to kind of get over this river, to keep from getting wet, maybe you should just dive in and swim and see what happens. Um, you know, you might obviously get to where you're trying to get to faster and actually have a sense of achievement when you're done with that and you're also challenging yourself. Um, but if you cannot swim, uh, a little disclaimer here do not go jumping in rivers, please. Um, next we're moving on to. Don't stick with it stubbornly, right? Um, you know, I think I may have quoted this before, but if so, it's a nice one. It's supposedly from Albert Einstein, but I did a little research and apparently Albert Einstein has never been documented saying this. But however, whoever, I still love it anyway.

Speaker 1 8:37

You know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So, basically, if you were trying something and it's just not working the way you want it to, or you're not getting the end result, and you know, basically you keep having these setbacks, or you keep having these, these projects fail. Try something different, try something that you totally would not expect yourself to do. Or, you know, take that out of the box idea from your, your office mate, your family member, your friend, take that idea and give it a try. You might be shocked that it actually might try or it might actually work. And I mean the one thing is you know they're trying to help you there, they're trying to help you get there and you know they have a different perspective of you, know they're. They're on the outside looking in and kind of watching this thing happen.

Speaker 1 9:21

So definitely don't stick with something if it's not working. Ok, you know, determination, pride those two things can be very dangerous combinations. I know I suffer from probably both, usually on separate occasions, but sometimes, you know, in the same day. And lastly, you definitely want to adjust quickly. So look at the setback. Look at the setback as a failed experiment, per.

Speaker 1 9:41

You know, you know, as the article would say, right, but you know adjust. And you know adjust, adjust and learn. Excuse me, good Lord, it's been a while since I've sat here. Right, but you want to adjust, learn and keep at it. Right? Sounds like sticking with it stubbornly. Which kind of a contradiction it sounds like or seems like, but the only difference here is you know there's a sense to adjust. So you know, stubborn, when you're being stubborn about something or obstinate, you know you're not trying to adjust. You're literally yet again repeating the same thing, maybe just on a different day, but you're still doing the exact same things because in your mind this is supposed to work this way, that I know people that are like this that once they get fixed on a specific pattern or a way something's supposed to be done, they refuse to switch it up. But here, to adjust, you want to adjust quickly, right, and you know, I think you have a very more positive experience. And yet again, you know you're still able to accept that failure, you know, or that setback.

Season Two Introduction and Closing

Speaker 1 10:37

So, as a quick recap, you know, yet again, we kind of did this whole you know do's and don'ts thing as far as you know, addressing setbacks and failure. And I will kind of go down really briefly and I hope this is something that you can use throughout the week, if not the rest of the year, or going into your summer or just any day in your life. Just, yet again, you know we're human, we have so much stuff going on our minds and we do have to be reminded every now and then some of us, that, yeah, you know, you know, I don't have to embrace failure. Failure is not not, um, not something that is going to define me at the moment, or the setback is not something that's going to actually, you know, you know, you know, break this whole deal for me. So, uh, the three don'ts I'll go ahead and do the three don'ts because we want to end on a positive note, but the three don'ts don't dwell on the past mistakes, don't be an avoider and don't stick with it stubbornly. But you do, you do want to focus on future goals and you want to. You, um, you want to be a seeker because you want to go out and seek those achievements and that success and you definitely want to adjust quickly. Basically, you know to look at the setback as a you know, in a more positive light, I think. But basically, you're not going to be stubborn about it, but you're actually adjusting, you're changing things up, taking those ideas sometimes. So, yet again, all right. So it's kind of a rough ride today. Sorry about that, guys, but it is monday and I have been up since three.

Speaker 1 11:56

Uh, got some things to share with you when I actually pick up the friday's podcast, but you know I gotta make it through the week for this. Uh, what's going on right now? Um, however, whoever I am, dre, I'm signing off from another episode of leo's liberation. Take care of yourself and each other, and you can find me on leo's liberation dot bus fraudcom. Leo underscore liberated on Facebook or, my apologies, leo liberated on Facebook. Leo underscore liberated on X and Leo's underscore liberation on Instagram. Please follow me on whatever platform you're listening to this podcast on and give me a like, rating or leave me some comments to grow on.

Speaker 1 12:28

Uh, look forward to talking to you guys on Friday. It feels great to be back. I promise I will dust off the cop webs and get myself together. Um, I have a lot of great ideas for this uh season here, but obviously, yet again, I'm also busy, so I'm gonna be doing a lot of juggling. But, uh, shockingly, that's the kind of life I want to live right now. It feels great, uh, but yet again, take care of yourselves guys. Take care of each other's. Enjoy the week. I hope, hope, you have a great one. I'll talk to you on Friday, you know.