Smile More? Sure. F*ck Off!

TW: Discussions related to the release of the Epstein files.
On our listen back we realized this was a pretty tough conversation. We chose to leave it as it happened live. We can speak only to our own experiences and are not experts outside of that. This is a personal reflection from two Gen X cis white midwestern women's experience. 

The year has barely started and its a dumpster fire—snowbanks swallowing bumpers, headlines swallowing hope. We take that energy and point it at the news cycle’s biggest shock: the Epstein files, the broken redactions, and how institutions bend to protect power instead of people. From the perspective of two GenX women, we untangle how we were taught to smooth chaos with a smile, how pop culture made “go along to get along” feel normal, and why that conditioning makes this moment cut so deep.

We also hold space for joy and legacy with a heartfelt goodbye to Catherine O’Hara. Her work in Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, and Schitt’s Creek wasn’t just hilarious—it modeled grace, warmth, and ensemble magic. That contrast matters. When the world rewards cruelty, artists who choose kindness show us how culture can heal.

Across the hour, we map the patterns: distraction tactics that flood our feeds, projection that accuses others of the harm being done, and the old story that women’s worth is transactional. We share personal stories from middle school to early adulthood—creepy compliments, age gaps normalized, the way consent was never modeled—and we mark what’s changing now. Today’s teens name grooming, reject “smile more,” and understand power gaps. Parents teach consent by refusing forced hugs with relatives. Boundary language—own your no, you are not responsible for other people’s behavior—has moved into everyday life.

Sanity requires strategy, so we get practical. Take breaks with comfort shows. Do one small good: Small acts restore agency and reconnect us to a community that algorithms can’t cheapen. Believe survivors. Learn the signs of grooming and projection. Talk to kids about power, not purity. And keep your humor sharp—it lightens the load without shrinking the truth.

Transcript

Ice, Cars, And Surviving February

Megan 0:00

I'm Megan Bennett. I'm Lesley Meier. And this is Gen X Women Are Sick of This Shit. Hi, Lesley. Hi, Megan. Hi. Oh my god. Hello, 2026. Here it is. You fucking dumpster fire of year already.

Lesley 0:22

You thought you were gonna be different and special. Nope.

Megan 0:28

Boy, howdy. You are a shit year. This is the longest year. Two months, these last two months have been the longest year. Yes. It's been the last year.

Lesley 0:44

Oh, it's only been one month. This year. It's only been one month. It is only February.

Megan 0:49

Only just now. It's only just February. And it has been the longest year.

Lesley 0:55

Yeah. So that's fun. Here we are. So we're back. We're talking. We're back. And we're in two different places because it's definitely February in Indiana.

Megan 1:07

Yes. And I have a Mini Cooper as a car, and we have a shit ton of snow. And I'm not entirely sure I can get it out of the alley behind my house. So haven't tried yet. Husband's been driving me to work. I'm relying on him.

Lesley 1:22

Very nice. Yeah, I'm concerned about the underneath of my regular size car. Like it hits some snow, like the frozen crusty icebergs that get like in the middle when they don't plow, and you're just like, hope for the best.

Megan 1:38

You're like, well, there goes my muffler.

Lesley 1:40

Yep. Mm-hmm. I'm a little concerned. My car is very unnew. So I just am like, don't poke any holes, please.

Megan 1:48

Don't poke any holes. And then what will happen after that is all the potholes. So when this actually all melts, then we'll just have a shit ton of potholes. And my little Mini Cooper will just fall into one.

Lesley 2:00

Mm-hmm.

Megan 2:00

You also won't be taking the Mini Cooper out. It'll be like the land of the lost. I'll just go right down into the center of the earth.

Lesley 2:10

You're gonna find some dinosaurs. That would be cool. I would not be sad about that. Let's go find some dinosaurs. I think that would really spice things up, change a pace.

Megan 2:20

I think if we could get some dinosaurs, maybe some aliens, that would be, you know, an alien race makes contact with us now. That could be good.

Lesley 2:30

They are not touching this planet with a 10 light. No, no, no, no. They're just like, oh no. You remember when we checked in in the 70s? Yeah. We're still not doing that.

Megan 2:42

You guys had a you guys had a haze of like lead gas and you know, filth. That's when I think of the 70s in my mind, I'm picturing it just with a haze and a smell of leaded gasoline. Yeah. Aliens were like, fuck that shit. And then they took a break, you know, and then they came back and they were like, nope. Nope.

Lesley 3:06

We were just barely one step away from like industrialized England. With like coal. That was that was the US in the 70s. We just had to do it again. And child labor. Of course. My God. Where would we be without child labor? Please, sir. Please, sir. May I have another? Oh, that yeah. My land out. Jesus. So hi. Here. Hi. We're gonna, we're gonna try to we're gonna do an episode today. We're gonna rally. And we're gonna, we're changing up, like, who knows? We changed things, I think, like twice last year at different times. But we just threw different things in. We were like, oh, let's talk about a movie. Oh, let's do this. That'll be a good time. But we're gonna try a little bit of a different format in terms of like our two episodes each month.

Megan 3:59

Right. And that's mostly because for our sanity, right? And for time. Absolutely. Yeah. And then also just to try something new. I do want to get back to the movie thing too. I need to I had that on my radar. Watch a movie with you because I still have my movie in mind that I kind of need to share with you.

Dinosaurs, Aliens, And 1970s Smog

Lesley 4:18

And I don't even remember what it is now, so it's even better. I avoided it.

Megan 4:22

I don't think I ever told you. I don't think I ever told you, and that's fine. I'm not going to. I'm we're just gonna dive right in, and you're just gonna go, what the fuck am I watching? And it's gonna be fantastic. It's gonna be awesome. I'm super excited about it.

Lesley 4:35

So that'll be fun. We'll do that at some point. Yeah. But here we are doing something else. And we're gonna kind of split it. Like, we're gonna do one that's kind of like current events, like because it'll be sort of at the time of recording, like news that is now, and kind of our perspective on it, or how that sort of weaves back into our generation, like just for Gen X women, like how the current events are kind of resonating. And then we're gonna do one that's like nostalgia.

Megan 5:03

Candy. A little bit more light. Candy. Yes, I think that's a good idea. So today, right, we were gonna we were gonna talk about the giant elephant in the room.

Lesley 5:17

It's so fucking enormous.

Megan 5:19

It's a big ass elephant.

Lesley 5:21

And yet the United States seems to still be avoiding talking about it, unlike France and Britain, who are actively firing people, opening up criminal investigations. Like this is what sane people do when you get news of this magnitude.

Megan 5:43

But we don't do that here because I think this particular Epstein scandal is so deep into all of the weeds and all the people and all the places in this country, I'm not even sure how they would go about sussing out all the pieces. Oh my gosh.

Lesley 6:06

It will go on forever in the end. Yes. Truly, like in terms of prosecution. Like Celine Dion. My heart will go on. This court case will go on. And if you know, if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, what is happening makes sense. What do you do in a dysfunctional family? You just sweep it under the rug. Just ignore it. It's fine. Just don't go near your creepy uncle. It's really on you, kid. Right. Your responsibility not to end up in a room with your creepy uncle or second cousin or whomever.

Megan 6:52

Yes. The pervy one in in your family's life. Yeah.

Lesley 6:57

Right. So there's there's that piece, but we're gonna start by saying our fond farewells, goodbye to a really incredible actor, Katherine O'Hara.

Megan 7:14

Yeah, we talked about this. We were like, do we still want to touch on, you know, people who died? Because let's be honest, that gets really fucking depressing when people keep dropping dead. I mean, we're all gonna die. This is one certainty. Right. Sure, sure. We had, but we had for a while there, we had like four people in an episode that we were talking about because it was like, what the fuck? It was so depressing. Yes.

Lesley 7:41

But we have to talk about her because hysterical queen best in show was is probably my favorite most favorite film. Although, like, I mean, Mighty Wind, also incredibly brilliant. You know, she just absolutely shined in everything. And of course, she's like most beloved for Shits Creek. And I think that that's what like most people how they knew her, particularly people like of our kids' generation. Although, like Beetlejuice, they definitely would have. I mean, my kids definitely watch Beetlejuice and and Home Alone. Oh, fair, yeah, as well.

Megan 8:24

Yeah, but I think you're right. I think Shits Creek was probably the most famous with her. I think Best and Show was hilarious. That movie just from start to finish is so good. The the scene with genius. Oh shit. The scene with the couple that the dog that's yes, gotta go. So get my business. When they talk about how they met and that he was at Starbucks and she was at the Starbucks across the street, I swear to God was the funniest line. I'm like, and I know it was all improv, and that's what's so fantastic about it. It was just brilliant. I was at Starbucks. She was Starbucks across the street. She was across the street.

Lesley 9:07

And does the ensemble, I mean, of actors that she could perform with just so completely, seamlessly, flawlessly, just totally brilliant. And it was, I don't know. I think because of the joy attached to her career, it was just kind of like a gut punch. It was just like, oh no, not that person. Like not now.

New Two‑Episode, Single Subject Format

Megan 9:36

Like, we need you. Please don't go. Yes. Yes, yes. Yeah. I think I read an I read a story, and I can't remember now where I saw it, but it was a somebody was kind of reminiscing about they were a waitress in New York City, and they got the job because, and this will tie into what we're talking about. Oh, brilliant. They got the job not because they were a skilled waitress, they got the job because they looked really good and had good tits and tied ass. All that misogynistic shit. Yes, I hear that. So they were hired to work in this cocktail lounge that had, you know, dark a dark room, and it was where all the famous people went to hang out. Uh-huh. Oh yeah. And Catherine O'Hara happened to be there, and this woman recounts like meeting her and how she broke all the rules working in this place, like on week two of working there, because she got to meet Catherine O'Hara, who was a delight, who was asking her all kinds of questions, who was just like taking her under her wing and like being just an absolute sweetheart of a human being.

Lesley 10:52

That's amazing.

Megan 10:54

And the rule, of course, in the place was like you don't talk to the celebrities, you don't blah blah blah. So they're just people, you don't pay any attention to like who they are.

Lesley 11:02

They're just customers like anybody else.

Megan 11:05

Right, right. Or you just fall over backwards and treat them with reverence, but you don't ever care talk to them questions.

Lesley 11:13

Sure, right. Getting autographs, you're not doing any of those things. No taking pictures.

Megan 11:18

Yes. But she was she was clearly like smitten with her and how I think it might have been Rolling Stone, come to think of it. But anyway, she talked about how she, you know, broke broke the rules by meeting her and how lovely she was. So that's wonderful. Of course she was. Of course she was.

Lesley 11:36

It's it is uh it's heart heartwarming. It brings hope when you hear about people that you adore on screen or like in music or authors or just anybody who's like semi-famous, and then you hear stories about them in real life where they could be assholes and they aren't. Yeah. And you're just like, oh, you're actually a good person all the time.

Megan 11:59

Because there's always the flip of that, too, where there's the people who you expect would be absolutely delightful, and then you hear a story and you're like, What?

Lesley 12:08

Yeah, they're a dick. Like they throw tantrums, they're really demanding, right? Right. Yeah, I totally hear that. And and it proves like it didn't take a lot to be a good person, Megan.

Megan 12:23

No, no, it doesn't take a lot. It's really just taking a second and thinking about how somebody else feels.

Lesley 12:31

Yes, it's I think that's a critical skill. Did you know that that is called empathy? I did know that. And there are people who feel like it's missing. Oh, yeah.

Megan 12:43

You feel like it's generally speaking, it's missing in the world.

The Elephant: Epstein Files Fallout

Lesley 12:49

Yes, more and more. This is like a conversation that I have had more than once this week. And I think particularly you and I were talking a little bit about this since the like half of the trove of the Epstein files was dumped, and none of the proper precautions were taken to protect survivors. Plenty of precautions-ish were taken to protect the perpetrators. Yeah, kind of, not really. I mean, docs are still getting pulled down and redacted right now, and you sure as fuck know they've already all been downloaded. Sure. I hope. I hope so many people instantly like slurped all those up.

Megan 13:41

Plus, you know how do you, how do you, and we'll get into this, I know, but how do you justify uploading those docs and just leaving naked pictures in of children?

Lesley 13:56

Distributing child essay material. The fun yeah, yeah. It's yes, it's called not having a conscience. Yeah.

Megan 14:10

I mean or is it legitimately distraction tactics, right? Like this is now I'm going to start getting crazy and conspiratorial because I feel like the world just I don't know. I'm just getting there. I'm becoming crazy. But I think I every time I hear something like that, I'm like, was this done on purpose? Just to distract us, you know, or was it a legit mistake or just carelessness?

Speaker 14:40

Right.

Megan 14:42

I don't know.

Lesley 14:43

Yeah, I I kind of land in the world of like I don't think they're smart enough to have a coordinated effort for distraction. This is my this is what I imagine. Okay. One part of the government, like one person just gets pissed enough and does it's like how the system works together. So like part of me when I because it's the piece about not having they didn't even bother to go through, they could have removed thousands of documents that mention Donald Trump. They could have. So it's when I heard that, I was like, oh, she fucking did that on purpose. She's like, fuck you, dude. Like, I just wonder how the like infighting is happening. That's where my brain went. Yeah. It's like lobbying weapon, you know, from the inside and the like external, those are like the unintended consequences. Like, nobody's gonna think about victims because they're all attacking each other, like they're victimizing one another.

Megan 15:52

And we know that was true in the first administration, like his first go-around. Like because all of that shit was leaked, and you heard the stories, and people would go on camera and be like, this is a fucking crazy place, blah, blah, blah. Yes. You don't hear that as much now. So they've locked that down a little bit.

Lesley 16:12

But no, you're probably right. I mean, I just think it's like so. I never watched that TV show. Was it like Succession? Was that what it was called? I watched two episodes.

Megan 16:23

I hated it. It was, it's just mean.

Lesley 16:26

Yeah. And it's like there's just a family of narcissists. It's like all this different kinds of narcissism. And nobody's thinking about anybody else but themselves, ultimately. So, like all of the pain and suffering that is caused is like a consequence of how fucking self-absorbed they are. Yeah. So, and then sometimes it is nice to think, yeah, we're just gonna fucking do that, you know, fuck you, dude. But I just imagine that it's just like this you were lobbing bombs. No common person matters. And when everybody starts to pay attention too much, we're just gonna go and like fuck with Minneapolis a little bit more, right? Like, we're gonna go do these other really outrageous fucking things because you know, so it's I imagine it's a combination of we're gonna fuck with elections, we're gonna fuck with we're just gonna keep saying crazy shit so that you don't know where to look.

unknown 17:19

Yeah.

Megan 17:20

Well, that's true. That's a hundred percent true. It is, it is so much information being thrown at us all the time. Yeah, you know, just to distract, just to make you a little bit crazy and to throw you off balance. And they said full on at the beginning, I think Steve Bannon said that, that that was the whole plot of this administration was gonna be you do this, you just keep doing it, hammer them with it over and over and over again, and then something else over here, and then something else over here, and keep people off balance, and then you can do anything you want. Because apparently the name of the game is just corruption across the board. I just gotta get away with it because we can. And part of that, like the first time you do corruption and nobody stops you, right? Like you the Senate, the House doesn't stop you, the Supreme Court doesn't stop you. Yes. Who's who's gonna stop you the next 500 times you do it?

Farewell To Catherine O’Hara

Lesley 18:17

It takes them too long to realize that the rules have changed. They don't care. So shout out to all the other kids of alcoholics. You, this is your time to shine. You know exactly what's happening. Like adult children of alcoholics and addicts, rise because you can see this shit a mile lived through it. Or yeah, I guess the opposite, the counterpoint to that I'm gonna argue with myself, is that you are like so knee deep because you've gone along with the authoritarianism. Both in, but I'm gonna guess most of us are like sniffing that shit out. This is crazy. It's crazy. Really? But we're talking about it today for a reason, not just because we're being made crazy. Although that is true.

Megan 19:10

Fair. Fair point. I mean, the the QAnon cabal, the cabal that they were talking about, you know, a few years ago, is in fact a real thing. It's just not pointed at the right direction.

Lesley 19:27

Yes, everyone should research projection and look for it in your own daily life because I guarantee you do it. But that is absolutely what has happened. No, look over there. They're doing this terrible thing.

Megan 19:40

Yep. All while how dare they? I can't I can't imagine anybody doing this.

Lesley 19:47

Right. While you're like pillaging the coffers. Lord.

Megan 19:52

Anyway, go ahead. Sorry, I entered, I interrupted you. Uh, we're talking about today, Leslie.

Lesley 19:58

We're talking about so this just this whole experience, like last week, you know, I watch watch my picked new, you know, I got a little selection of like news sources, and I was just like processing the impact of my own nervous system. And I was having just like a little side conversation with somebody that I had gone to middle school with. And I think like, you know, it's sort of one thing to grow up and go, yeah, like the rules were different. I mean, you and I have talked about like every time we watch a movie from the 80s, I was like, there are just boobs everywhere. Like boobs everywhere. Boobs are just like, I don't know, it's like getting a cheeseburger, right? Like our bodies weren't cherished in any particular way. Like female bodies were not cherished.

Megan 20:50

We were the punchline of so many just 80s jokes.

Lesley 20:55

And just like the water that we grew up in and the culture surrounding that. But we also had this like weird blip of like suddenly our generation, like late 60s, early 70s babies were also invited to like, oh, but you should go to college. Wonderful. My mom had a checking account. Fantastic. Not until well after I was born, but like, you know, we got some autonomy in the world. So we we had rights shortly after our birth, not right away, but within a few years, we had some rights.

Megan 21:34

Which is just wild to think, right? Like that it was in our lifetime after we were born.

Lesley 21:43

Yes. After we were born, there was you could run your own finances and get access to no fault divorce and like probably get hired. What?

Megan 21:56

In most places.

Lesley 21:57

In most places.

unknown 21:58

Yeah.

Megan 21:59

Yeah.

Lesley 22:00

Oh.

Megan 22:00

Yeah. Yeah. You could, yeah. I mean, it felt we had the birth control pill. Yeah. So we had like some sexual freedom. And like protection. Supposed, right?

Lesley 22:13

Yeah. In terms of like unwanted pregnancies, you know. I mean, we still had to be responsible for being careful walking around outside of the world. Of course. Because, you know, you could be essayed at any time. What are you wearing? You had it. Exactly. That's your fucking fault, but at least you won't get pregnant.

Megan 22:37

And we had growing up, we had movies that were starting to teach us that we had agency that we didn't have before. Like I'm thinking about the movie Nine to Five. Yes. Right. Where you know, you've got Dolly Parton and and oh shit. Fondas in that. Jane Fonda and yes. Lily Tomlin. Lily Tomlin. And together they kill their boss. Yes. No, they kidnap him. Hold him hostage. Yeah. Yeah. So we weren't quite there. We didn't exactly kill him yet. If it were made today, we'd probably kill him. You never know. Um they taught him a lesson. They did. He had some cumbuppance. But that was like, you know, we're fighting back against the system. We're we've got these jobs. We're, you know, we're strong. We're independent women. We don't need a man. We blah, blah, blah. So we were taught kind of that stuff.

unknown 23:40

Yeah.

Lesley 23:41

On TV too, like 3's company. Right. What was the TV show set in Indianapolis? We've talked about it before. One day at a time. Yeah. One, yeah, one day at a time. Right. Valerie Burtonelli was in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I think there was this, like, in in my brain, I was sort of assuming lots of things about my relative like power and privilege. I didn't know those words then, but it's just like, yeah, of course I could just like get a job. It wasn't separated from the requirement to be married. Like that was still sort of like, oh, you're gonna need being in a relationship, still has clout, right? There's some relative social stuff. It wasn't quite pulled out from that yet. I had some pretty strong role models that were examples of that. But like, yeah, but I got a degree, you know. I mean, all the I'm sure I got married right after college, but like I got a degree, you know, I did these things. And we were talking about it because I think it just hit me like how being raised in that, seeing different role models, having different experiences laid out in front of me kind of gave me this illusion of things are better, right? Like there's some relative safety. And luckily enough, like I think every woman has had scary experiences. But I was never in a position to be like kidnapped or trafficked. I was not that vulnerable as I say that out loud. I'm like, I don't know, maybe. I mean, there were definitely vulnerable places where I was extremely vulnerable.

Megan 25:27

Yeah.

Lesley 25:28

And for whatever.

Megan 25:29

In this case, any of us who didn't have that happen kind of just got lucky, right? Absolutely. Because because you you called it, you just you called it out just a second ago, and that was this like appearance, this this false sense of security, this false sense of women were equal, women were empowered, women, you know, all of that was on display, and it was kind of like, yeah, that's where we are. But were we, right?

Empathy, Media, And Missing Protections

Lesley 26:05

Like, I was definitely echoed in like the people I was around, like my family, like I was raised, you know, my grandmother was single, had a career, took care of her family, like it all came out of necessity. Like, similarly, like your mom had a career, like provided for you guys. I mean, there was this, okay, yeah, this is, and the reality is like I think there we're learning there are a fair number of people that just don't agree with that. Correct.

Megan 26:41

Like, yes, correct. And it's a a large group of people, as it turns out, that don't agree with that.

Lesley 26:51

Right.

Megan 26:51

And it's so- Yeah, I do. I feel like we've had this rug just yanked out from underneath us. And part of that is, I mean, I guess maybe it's being naive, like, and not I don't know.

Lesley 27:06

I I don't know. I don't know. I don't, I think I kind of get a sense of what you're talking about. I don't think it's naivete at all. Like, I certainly am not naive about the harms and atrocities committed against women globally all the time. I think what what takes a while to kind of like sink into is the depths to which, the lengths to which people will go to continue to cause harm, to hold on to patriarchal norms, to hang on to misogyny at all cost. It's just like the levels of hell. Like we thought reading Dante's Inferno was like, whoa, crazy. It is nothing like this.

Speaker 27:58

Yeah.

Lesley 27:58

You know, it's just it, it so it takes you aback. And I think that that in that moment when we were just, I mean, we exchanged a couple of messages and it was just like, it was just nail, you know, it's like, oh, it's like 12 year old young women, 11-year-old young women, knowing I was just flashing through moments in my life where it was like, oh yeah, you should smile at that 35 or 40 or 50-year-old man and say thank you for complimenting your body because that is what you are expected to do.

Megan 28:40

I I think the other, yes, and I know we're gonna talk a little bit more about that. I think also the I I feel all of this is brought up a lot in my head, but I think the fact that there is so clearly a lack of value put on women also is just like it just gobsmacks me. Like I cannot there's just no value short of being a sexual thing, zero value that women hold. I mean, that's what that's what has been so hard, I think, to digest in learning and reading more and more about I mean never mind the fact that there's zero value to poor people, right? Sure for these elite.

Lesley 29:41

We are not the land of the free, right? Never have been. Like we are a country founded on devaluing human beings for profit. That is that is and and all you know, people of color, black women, black have been yelling at us for decades. Like, we know, and so I, you know, yes, you do not owe me any words.

Megan 30:08

You do not owe me any words. I apologize, you know.

Lesley 30:11

Like, I feel like yes, but we are fundamentally constructed on that, like that is the foundation of our nation is the devaluation and destruction of other human beings for profit of of a of a clo it's it is such a class system that I, you know, how do you get past that?

Megan 30:30

I don't know. That's for somebody smarter than me to figure that out. But it there is such a class system and these elite cabal of men, right? That see poor people as cogs working little cogs in their little schemes to make them more money. And then one step lower than that are the women who are there just for their entertainment and enjoyment. And that's it. It's a lot to process.

Lesley 31:06

So yeah. I mean, we would tell it rabble. It's not even a rabble. It's just more like the context, I guess. That's why it felt so relevant. It's and I imagine that there, I imagine all women. Oh, I know. I remember what I was gonna say. ADHD. All women are disturbed. Like you should be disturbed.

Megan 31:27

And it's if you're not, it's because you're not listening or you're so like I I don't know.

Lesley 31:35

I know, and I won't, I guess I'll say this too, and you're probably thinking the same thing. Like, I know that there are women who are not, who are not bothered, who don't believe it, who are doing the like sleep thing again. Yeah, this is their fault. You know what I mean? Like it just really is. And so when you think about the slippery slip of you, when people ask the question, why don't we care about school shootings? This is why. Like we don't care.

Megan 32:09

Yeah. I yeah, and I think that's the the just don't care.

Lesley 32:14

Like it's been, I mean, when the ground that we walk on was founded on the extermination of other human beings, unless that nation has had some sort of moral reconciliation. Yeah, it is a very small step from dehumanizing women to dehumanizing children and back again.

Megan 32:45

I I think you can point to literally any decision that this particular administration has made. Oh, and you can answer the question with whatever question you have with they don't care.

Lesley 32:59

Yes.

Megan 33:00

Like that's truly that feels like it's the case. Yes.

Distraction Tactics And Dysfunction

Lesley 33:04

So So I I guess the culturally contextual conversation is the like, you know, are there memories, are there things that you have thought of just like shit that was in the water when we were like in middle school and high school, that looking back, you're like, whoa, I should not have been in that situation. What was this person thinking? I'm just thinking about how like social clout and like proximity to there was this like, it's not that we were looking to get with like old dudes, like our dad's age, but older dudes. Yes, older dudes, yeah. You know, and that approval was even if it was kind of creepy and gross, like if you got this external approval from older men, like that that was like okay, that it was fine.

Megan 34:10

Yes. So I at in high school had a 23-year-old boyfriend for a little while. I mean, what the fuck? Looking back on that, like what the fuck? Now, to my grandma's credit, uh-huh, she did not like him. Oh, good, like at all. There was some sneaking around, right?

Lesley 34:40

Because of course which the 23-year-old was like totally down for, right?

Megan 34:47

And like in hindsight now, do I want to hunt him down and like punch him? Be like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, yeah. I mean, thankfully, like nothing happened, right? But still, uh-huh, just the idea of the whole thing is awful. Like, just terrible. Did you have anything like that, like growing up?

Lesley 35:09

I'm trying to think. Most of the like skeezy stuff I that happened was typically on like vacations, like the super skeezy stuff. There was the kind of like normal, like in the water. I mean, as much as like my grandmother was a badass, she was also out of the water that she was out of. And she's born in 1921. And she was very proud of me as a young person and as a swimmer. But there were moments where she would just be like, look at my granddaughter, isn't she so pretty? And I'm like, that man is really old and looking at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable. And I just don't, she wasn't like showing me off in a creepy way. Right. But just like the con she thought of me as a little girl. And I don't think she was holding in mind that that man might like little girls in that way. Yeah. You know, so it would be like these kind of, and I was just like, oh yeah, that was fucking creepy. But there was, I did flash back to something. I was like in Florida for a week. My grandmother had taken me. I had met this really cool girl at the pool. I think we were both like 14 or 15 years old, hanging out. Maybe she had said, nope, this is important. She'd actually, I think I was 15 and she'd said she was 16 years old. We were hanging out at the pool, swimming, but we all kind of like said we were 16 years old. For some reason, 16 was like a magical age to like hang out with older boys.

Megan 36:41

How many, how many movies or not movies, how many songs were about like I mean, movies too, but like songs about, you know, she was. I mean, and if you look back, there's some lyrics that are so gross.

Lesley 36:54

So gross. So we'd just like been all at the same condos all week. We met these kind of cool guys. I remember probably he was like 24, 25, and he was like in the military, and he was a cool dude. Like we were just friends, and I must have been 16. I must really have been in real life. Like, we just hung out, and wherever we were, it was a beach you could drive on. And my grandmother just let me go hang out with whatever. So, like, we were driving, and I remember him saying he really liked this other girl at the pool. And I was like, Great, because I'm not really into you. But I specifically remember him going, yeah, but it's just not okay. And I was like, why does it matter? She's 16. And he goes, No, she lied. She's really 14. Yes. And so he was fully 10 years older than her. And in my child mind, I mean, I was like, oh, that's weird. But I was instead of.

Megan 38:01

I mean, thank God he at least saw that that was not okay.

Lesley 38:05

I don't think it kept him from taking her out on a date, though. Ew. Right. But he did acknowledge it. But it was just this moment where, like, I didn't go home and say anything.

Megan 38:20

You know, and I'm sitting here thinking, like, if you go back and you read history. Oh, yeah. And you know, you know, how things were with young girls being trafficked off to old dudes, you know, with a dowry and a of a, I don't know, a cow and a oh yeah. I mean, you're just an asset. Gold coins.

Lesley 38:46

Yep. I mean, what the fuck really has changed? Exactly. In fact, in fact, if I'm really not even if I'm arguing about this, it's like that loss of women as commodity that sort of for some people like fuels this. It's almost like a in your DNA kind of entitlement. I don't know. That's my theory in the moment. God, the whole thing is gross. It's so awful. So it really has just made me think because, like, I don't ever remember my daughter and her friends talking about how great it was that that 20-something or 30-year-old dude was like, isn't he hot? He totally whistled at me. You know what I mean? Like, there has been a cultural shift.

Megan 39:39

I think that is true. I think that's true. And that's probably, hopefully, maybe why this isn't going to get brushed aside. Right. Like, I think if it were I think if it were our generation, and I love our generation, we would be more likely to I hate saying this, but I feel like we would turn a blind eye to it a lot more, or just try to button it up really fat.

Lesley 40:14

Like they would just prosecute like low level, it wouldn't go to the highest heights. It would just, we'd button it up and say it was. Maybe sorted.

Megan 40:24

Yeah.

Lesley 40:24

Right.

Megan 40:25

Somebody's grown under the bus. I like to think that the younger generation, the people underneath us, are not gonna let that happen. They're going to want justice. They're gonna want the because it is so, I think to your point, it is very foreign for for this generation. Like my because I I agree, my daughter would never, I've never heard her say that.

Lesley 40:54

I can't, I can't fathom No, they're instantly like, what the fuck's wrong with you, motherfucker? I mean, these they really and like they were younger hearing Me Too movement, right? Like younger hearing us talk about like, don't do this, don't do this, like, and that's not your job. It is not your job to manage someone else's behavior. Like, we have the language of boundaries. It is not your job. You are not responsible if someone approaches you in an inappropriate way. That is not your fault, right?

Megan 41:27

Like, you come to us. You wear what you want to fucking wear, and it's somebody else's responsibility to keep their hands off of you. Yes, because of what you're wearing. It shouldn't matter.

Lesley 41:40

Because that's an impulse disorder.

Gen X Upbringing And Illusions Of Safety

Megan 41:43

Right. Like the fuck out. You know, I also think that this the younger generations, the parents of younger generations are generally speaking doing a pretty good job about not requiring their daughters to go kiss their uncle or God, yeah, you know, or hug hug so-and-so on your way out the door. Like, I don't you don't hear that shit either, thankfully.

Lesley 42:10

Yes. Um and I'm sure it still happens out there, right?

Megan 42:14

Absolutely.

Lesley 42:14

Uh we can only speak for like our experience. I mean, broadly, like in this whole conversation, like I'm a 52-year-old white lady in the Midwest. I can really only speak to my lived experience and then the information that I like taken around me and the fact that I like fucking paid attention in history. And I believe people when they tell me that they have been harmed, you know. But it's yes, I absolutely there are people that are like, nope, you still need to go kiss your weird uncle in the corner. I don't even want to assign weird uncle a name because I'm gonna upset somebody. You know who you're talking about, though. We all know who you're talking about. So it's just like, ugh. But that was that was just sort of what I've been sitting with all week. It's just like, man, I knew I was unprotected and I knew that I got myself out of like some tough moments. And I was like, and I remembered like this guy in his 40s when I was like 18, and just thinking, I guess that's cool, you know, like, but there was it was just like you just dealt with it, right? You just dealt with the attention, and it's nicer to like go along to get along, to not get your ass like hit, yeah, or it's just like you learn to smile and be nice and placate and like you learn to survive in those situations. And so just seeing all of this and hearing I mean, it's awful, right? I we're not even gonna unpack it all here because people are unpacking it very well in other places, but it's just like man, man.

Megan 43:54

But it it is, it is a it is a a unique, I think. Look on this from that Gen X woman's perspective, right? Where it's just I mean, you make such a good point. It really was normal. It was entirely normal. And nobody, nobody was coming forward and telling us, hey, ladies, yes, this is weird and gross. Like, you know, so thankfully, we're, you know, hopefully we are the ones telling the younger generations now. No, that is weird and gross.

Lesley 44:34

Yeah. Adam's fucking lately.

Megan 44:36

It doesn't work.

Lesley 44:37

No. It's fucking weird that Leonardo DiCaprio is going out with 20-year-old. No, fucking weird.

Megan 44:43

So that is something my daughter has, I mean, she has talked about that so many times. Just like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Lesley 44:52

What do you have to talk about? You have no shared lived experience.

Megan 44:57

And and what's funny is like when she turned 25, we said to her, sorry, you're you're too old for Leo now.

Lesley 45:08

Like, that's fucking gross. So men, men, raise your sons. Raise yourselves. Raise yourselves. Get it together.

Megan 45:21

Women continue to claim your space and walk down the center of the fucking sidewalk. And hell yeah. Don't feel like you owe somebody a smile. Just if you want to smile at somebody, smile at somebody. But that's if you want to smile at somebody. Yes. And if someone old fucking dude looks at you and says, You you should smile more. I mean, you've got my permission to tell them to fuck off.

Lesley 45:49

Fuck off, motherfuckers. That's really that was what was burning this week. I I don't want to. I could talk about it forever, but I think we've given it the high level. It's a lot. High level conversation. Maybe it would be useful to try to connect with the ways in which we are surviving. And oh, we should like well aware. Lots of other horrific shit has happened in the past few weeks, y'all. We know we've had a lot of conversations. So please do not let us picking one topic mean that we are excluding other topics.

Megan 46:27

No, we are very aware. We are super aware and super pissed. Popping my anxiety medication like tic-tacks.

Lesley 46:37

So what is giving you a reprieve in this moment? Any tiny amount of joy?

Megan 46:46

I'm taking a very brief hiatus to Disney World in a couple of weeks. So lucky. My husband and I are gonna go for just like four days. Oh, nice. Because I have told him I need it. Like it is my it is my escape. It is, is it candy? Yes. Is it bad for me? No. No. You know?

Lesley 47:10

If you've got the resources, do the thing.

Megan 47:13

Yeah. I can go there. I can turn off my phone. I can just pretend like nothing bad exists in the world for you know for four days.

Lesley 47:22

And dissociation is important upon occasion. And if you're like reading lots of books or watching lots of movies or find yourself scrolling on your phone for a couple of hours, like it's okay.

Megan 47:35

Yes, protect your mental health. I I do recommend if you are not a great British bake-off watcher that you start watching all of those previous seasons of that. It's fabulous. Okay. It makes me feel warm and cozy and happy. That's during COVID. I watched the TV show The Good Place because it too was warm and cozy. And I am embarrassed to admit that I was not a queer eye fan. I only not I wasn't, I wouldn't say I wasn't a fan. I love the idea of it. I just had never watched it. I never got around to watching it. Yeah. And so I'm starting that. I'm like so brilliant. You're gonna cry. I know. I watched the first episode of season 10 just like two days ago. And I fucking love it. Yeah, it's joy. It's so sweet, it's genuine. It oh god.

Lesley 48:33

Yeah, I mean, that's a really good I would throw into that list before I pivot. Go rewatch Ted Lasso. Okay. Ted Lesso brings all the good to the world. And in that same vein, it's like go spend time with other people and do good things. Yes, volunteer somewhere. If you can go walk a dog or like our any animal care control here is like way over, they've got way too many pets. And they did a call for blankets, and I was just like, oh, I have a ton of fucking blankets I need to get rid of. So I'm gonna go do a blanket drop-off. It's small, but those little pets that are living in miserable conditions, which also makes me sad, you know, it's just like look around. There, it doesn't have to be a big lift. If you can send five dollars somewhere, send five dollars.

Megan 49:19

If you want to go volunteer and in a hunger relief kitchen or volunteer to walk the dogs at your local shelter, they would love to do that.

Lesley 49:31

There's a few in our neighborhood. Like I will, you know, if it's if I have one thing, I put one thing. But those small things like matter and it just keeps you kind of connected to your own soul. You know, like it matters how we engage with the people around us. It matters how we consider and interact with other people, and it matters how we talk to ourselves. So don't forget those in dissociation land.

Megan 50:02

All of that constant noise and trying to keep you off your feet, you know, keep you off balance, all of that is real. And if you can protect your own sanity a little bit and bring a little bit of joy and happiness into the world, it'll make you feel better. It distracts you from you know the maddening chaos.

Lesley 50:27

Yeah.

Megan 50:29

Yeah.

Lesley 50:30

Brilliant. I think that's our episode for today.

Megan 50:36

You don't have to kiss your creepy uncle.

Lesley 50:38

And you do not. You don't have to give hugs. No, you don't have to give foot massages.

Megan 50:50

I mean, unless it's your kink and you really want to.

Lesley 50:53

Yeah, I mean, if you're like into that, it's your thing. But if it's your grandpa, you can say no. It's okay. Yep. No.

Megan 51:03

They make they make machines for that.

unknown 51:07

They do.

Lesley 51:08

You just buy a machine. I want to know that a hometic foot massager. Go to Kohl's and you just hand that off at the white elephant. There you go. Here you go. Awesome, friends. Well, we'll be back in a couple weeks with something a little lighter, but this just felt too big and important to us, to the world. Just really timely and relevant. And so we wanted to kind of have a conversation about it. Yes, ma'am. All right. See you in a couple weeks.

Megan 51:41

If you guys have want to chime in, oh my gosh, what do you think? You know, we're here. We'd love to hear from you. So feel free to do that. And uh yeah. Take care of yourself, Leslie.

unknown 51:53

You too, sister.

Lesley 51:54

You have been listening to Gen X Women Are Sick of This Shit. Hey Megan. Hey, Leslie. What do people do if they want to find us?

Power, Patriarchy, And Value Of Women

Megan 52:03

Well, we have a website that people can find us on, and that is GenXwomenpod.com. We also have a Facebook page. We have an Instagram account as well. We have a YouTube account where we put YouTube shorts and other little tidbits up there. We have a TikTok account.

Lesley 52:24

I don't talk the tick.

Megan 52:26

You know, TikTok? I barely talk the tick, but I did put a TikTok.

Lesley 52:31

Or explain the internet. That's okay though. We need to know how the internet works.

Megan 52:38

Can people buy merch? They absolutely can. We have a merch store on the website itself. And we also have an Etsy store too. So they're just pretty easy to find. It's just Gen X Women. Etsy.

Lesley 52:51

And if you are listening to this podcast, presumably you found it somewhere. And while you're there, give us a review. Yeah. Let us know what you think. Throw some stars at us. That'd be great. Take one, two, three, four, or five. Ooh, five. Maybe.

Megan 53:07

And and also make sure that you are hitting subscribe so that you're notified whenever a new episode drives. Most important. We also have a five minutes of fame that I think we should tell people about it too.

Lesley 53:19

Hell yes! We want to know your stories, your five minutes of fame stories. You can send those stories in on the website. Or you can call 1888 Gen X Cod and leave your story for us, and we will play it live in our next episode.

Megan 53:35

Yep. We'll listen to it on a little red phone just like Batman.

Lesley 53:41

That'd be a bat phone. I think that's it. I think we're right.