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Conscious But Grounded
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about spirituality: high vibe living in the real world. I ask questions like: how do we connect to the magic, spirit, source, the universe - but with our feet firmly planted on the ground? How do we show up in a conscious way and harness that to make big paradigm-busting change in the day to day of our lives?
Conscious But Grounded
S1: Ep 13: Un-becoming: how to be more authentic in your life
Today I am weaving together my journey in un-becoming. My quitting booze, my discovery that I was ADHD and maybe even Autistic. In midlife we all seem to be in a place of un-becoming. Let's talk about it...
I really hope you enjoy, relate - or that it provokes some food for thought?! Please leave me a review as it makes a big difference! Thanks so much.
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Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!
Offerings:
My luxury retreat for midlife women! (free workshop in the pop up too)
Book a coaching taster spot with me half price
Goddess Codes Chakra Masterclass (GODDESS7 to get for £7)
Find me here:
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about spirituality, high vibe living in the real world. I ask questions like, how do we connect to the magic? The spirit, the source, the universe, but with our feet firmly planted on the ground. How do we show up in a conscious way and harness that to make big, paradigm busting change in the day to day of our lives? I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three, yoga teacher and embodiment coach. This is the place where I'll be reflecting and exploring big, deep questions, all with a pinch of self deprecation, a few proper lols, and a lot of real life. Join me.
Hi everybody. Welcome back to Consciously Grounded. Not recorded for a while. It feels like ages, but it hasn't been that long. Um, I've got, uh, I think I recorded like a week ago, but because I've been doing quite a lot, it feels like if I don't stay in regular contact with it, it can kind of, it could drift away. But, um, it's just becoming this really lovely place where I can just express myself and, um, Um, and kind of share what I'm going through and what's going on in my spiritual journey in the hope and in the belief that it will resonate with others. And oh my gosh, it's just like, what never fails to amaze me is how your spiritual journey just never stops being exciting, never stops growing and changing. And I love that like the more you let go. And the more you surrender, and the more you soften, and the more you stop doing, that, like, so much more comes through. Uh, so I was at a family funeral at the weekend. It was a two day event. It was in Ireland. And so they do things really differently there to England. Um, I won't go into details because it's so personal. Just suffice to say, it was like a really Big event, a huge, in every sense, like hugely emotional. A huge person has passed on to the other side. Um, and just like learnt so much from going about myself. Learned so much from being amongst people. Had so many thoughts and realisations about what's important in life. I really came away with a feeling of like, first of all, just the toll it took on me in terms of, uh, going to a huge event and not relying on alcohol to get through it. Like it really made me realize like, wow, like about myself, which sounds really selfish, but that was just how it, how it unfolded. But as well as that. And, and more important than that, um, it kind of made me go, God, like, this person lived a really, really fantastic life and like, what a legacy that person left. And um, just like how the most important thing in life is to touch other people's lives. And there's so many ways to do that, isn't there? Like, you can raise a family. And that was one of my biggest takeaways. It was like, what an amazing family and wow. Like, if I can do, you know, a quarter as good as that, then I'll be like killing it, you know. I thought it was a poor choice of word. Um, so yeah, um, so just, just a lot of takeaways from, from that. And, uh, yeah, like I say, just about my own, uh, Like needs and kind of limitations or struggles, if you like, energetically in, in big crowds of people like that. But it was also so amazing to connect with those parts of myself that are, that my, you know, my heritage and my lineage, if you like. Um, so it's been emotional. It has. And I came away with a bit of a cold and I think now everyone, It's got this cold. Um, I feel like I've had it for ages, but so I've been really like down physically. I actually couldn't teach in person on Monday. I couldn't. I was like, I don't think I can teach today. Uh, so that was a huge learning about how do I create a business? I actually, I've written a blog post, but I've not finished it yet. A sub stack called something like, how do I create a yoga business that I Can actually show up for. Um, because even though, like I say, I've got a bit of a cold, I think the overwhelming thing that I realised when I came back was I really have a limited access to energy. And I, you know, call it neurodiversity, call it being a projector in human design, whatever. It doesn't matter the lens at which you want to look through it. You know, call it perimenopause, call it all of those things. I'm also in the luteal phase of my cycle, so it's like, all the struggles. Like going on a dog walk, I'm on a different route now, but you know, I'm struggling to walk up the hill. And so, how do we honour ourselves and fulfil our purpose? And I guess What I wanted to talk about today was like, this word authenticity gets bandied around a lot, especially with spiritual creators and coaches and like, be your most authentic self. You know, I'm really wary having spoken to people that aren't on this path that like that actually doesn't really mean much to people. And so I thought that was a good subject to talk about. Because the, the enormity of the weekend and the toll, I mean, it sounds ludicrous. The toll is for condominium. What about the toll is for condominium family? Obviously. So please excuse me for that. What I mean is, how do you show up in your It got me thinking, you know, how do I show up in my business and still live a life, you know? And, um, it's really made me drill down even further on How am I going to run this business in a way that's authentic to me? Um, so I, I've always known that I can do limited amount of, um, in person stuff. It really is gonna have to be limited. And, oh, I've just left one of the dogs behind and he's stood at the gate thinking, Mommy, let me in. Okay, come on then. Um, and so this has got me thinking massively. And my coach, I'm having her on the podcast really soon. She's incredible. My coach. I hope you can hear me because the wind is blowing. My coach has always said to me, How do you feel when you think about doing in person stuff? And I'm like, I don't know. Like, I kind of don't want to, but I kind of feel like I ought to. And she's always like, no, there's no ought, there's no should. She's like, passionate. Her whole business is passionate. built around helping entrepreneurs be their most authentic self. And she bases that around human design. She's not someone who talks about neurodiversity or anything like that. But for me, kind of like the same thing, really. They're not the same, but they're the same. It's like whichever school of thought, or if you're an Enneagram fan, honestly, it really, I'm starting to think nowadays, it really doesn't matter. If you want to do an enneagram, if you, uh, totally believe that you are ADHD but you don't see the point in diagnosis, you know, had a very interesting meeting at Sober Mom Squad yesterday where we were talking about They're the meetings that I go to for my sobriety, by the way, um, you know, we were all talking about this thing about, you know, becoming who we really are once we stop drinking. And it's so intertwined for me with neurodiversity, with honoring myself, my energies. Who I really am. Because I used alcohol to get me through situations. Not because I'm shy. Like it's really hard for people to understand. Because I'm like the most talkative person. I'm not shy. I, I, I can't explain it. It's why I couldn't go to school. It's why I struggled to go to university. It's why I used to have such bad anxiety. I would just blush and sweat. I'm not shy though. I'm just like this incredibly sensitive person, um, and, and it takes so much out of me when I'm in a room and there's lots of other people there. And whether you want to call that a highly sensitive person, whether one day I end up getting an autism diagnosis, I'm still serious on the fence about it still. Do I need one? I don't know. Um, you know, it's part of who I am and it always has been. Uh, and what happens is the older you get and the more you mask, and don't get me wrong, when I mask, when I'm masking, I'm not acting, I'm still me, it's just putting so much effort into being that version of me. We went to a comedy gig recently and I was so exhausted because I was laughing and smiling the whole way through and some, some of those laughs were totally, obviously genuine, but a lot of the time I was smiling just in case they'd come, they'd come. The comedian looked at me and didn't, you know, I wanted them to feel supported. Honestly, it's exhausting. And like I was, I'm reading Unmasking Autism by Devon Price. Oh my God. It's helping me so much. I'm just like, when I read that book, I'm just like, Oh God. Yeah. Like this is me. But then when I come into the real world. I just feel like we are now understanding that there's just these different levels of neurodiversity and it ain't that diverse. Anyway, I've digressed enormously. Um, So I love going to my Monday class where I teach in person. It's so small, at the minute only two people are coming. I'm not afraid to share that with you, it doesn't mean that I'm a bad teacher, I'm a good teacher. I live in a small rural area. I've only just started. I guess I don't promote it enough. Um, I love teaching in person. I love that energetic exchange, but you know, I do these seasonal day retreats. I love them. I love them and they're really popular and I feel like the universe. will populate the things that are right for you and will not populate the things that aren't right for you. So it's like, listen to the universe. I guess you could argue that's meaning making, but I think meaning making about what's working or what isn't is different to attaching a meaning about yourself to the outcome. Like, Oh God, this clearly means I'm like the best person ever. Or Oh God, this means I'm shit. You know, it's like, okay. I'm here in your universe. People are coming to my day retreat. Maybe that's my sweet spot for when I'm in person with people because I do think there's something beautiful about being in the room with people. So it's like how And by the way, I'm talking about my situation here. Please reflect back on your situation. What situations are draining you? What situations are energising you? What do you need? To stay sober, if it's the same for you. What do you need to be a grounded yet spiritual, yet kind of present, you know, your best self, for want of a better phrase. I hate that phrase, like, hashtag your best self, but you know, your best self. What do you need in your career? And by career I include full time parenting, by the way. We're all full time parents, but you know what I mean. Stay home parent, whatever you want to say. That's a freaking career. And I've also realized coming away from this family loss, this family funeral, like shit, that part's so important. And I realize when I come back from my work or when I'm like in hyperactive, like Oh my God, on my laptop all the time flow, you know, to a person, if I'm in that state. Um, then. It really isn't great for my family and I'm really dysregulated. Hang on one second. I need to help my dog get over his style. Bear with us. He's good. He's over. He's very good. I'm that's very naughty taking him on a walk with a star. He's actually got a bit of arthritis in his elbow and we don't normally take him on this route, but we all get bored of the other route. Following the breadcrumbs as this kind of episode is about. It's like, how do we follow the breadcrumbs? How do we listen? We listen, right? So I'm over two weeks into my twice a day Vedic meditation experience, which hopefully will be a forever experience. It will be. Um, I've not skipped a day. I've nearly forgot a couple of times. Um, And I feel like that's been a huge part of this too. That's been a huge part of just like lifting all of the It's like lifting all of the crap out of your head. So you know what's true. I've never felt more grounded in my own body. Like, I'm not a perfect person by any means. I can still be an asshole. I have been an asshole a couple of times this week. Um, I just feel like, I'm just, you know how I just, I just exhaled then. That's kind of how I feel at the minute. I'm just like anchored down into my body. Doing loads of root chakra work. Coming out on the walk now with no headphones. Although I'm doing this, this is quite grounding for me. It's like, how on earth am I going to create a business that doesn't burn me out? Making decisions around, okay, so if I'm going to do a retreat, then I need to work out that I have X amount of hours on and X amount of hours off. Because I will collapse. And I know it's hard for people. And in this society where we're programmed to all be the same and all be productive all of the time, It's hard because even as I'm saying that I'm like, Oh gosh, people, I'm worried people might think I'm being lazy or It's like, that's just how I'm built. And I could go to the doctor and they could give me a diagnosis of chronic fatigue or something like that. I just know that that's how I'm built at this time. Um, and also working with my cycles. I'm like now thinking, oh God, is it worth looking at my calendar to see where I'll be in my cycle for these retreats? There's not really much point because I come on my period between 21 and 24 days and so I won't get it right. There's no point. Um, My last day of retreat, I was in the perfect phase. Thank you, universe. And I was good, but I came home and I was done. I just collapsed on the sofa. Uh, eating the remnants of the chocolate cookies. watching trashy tv that's what i'm spent and i know as time goes on i will be able to protect my energy more that comes as with practice also as my husband said he's always the 3d the you know the common sense the Kind of, more traditional, you know, explanation thing. The man view, uh, he's like, yeah, well, as also, as you get used to doing it, you just won't be as tired by it. Which is totally true, of course. But I'll always be me. And I'll always be Um Someone who needs a lot of like nervous system breaks, and someone who has to, had to historically medicate herself to be around lots of people. Uh, and so how do I show up for my work? How do I show up for me? I can see as well that although I think it's a hyper focus right now, I can see that neurodiversity is going to become part of my work in some way. How do I really honor myself? Like, The more I speak to people, the more I realize, like, I don't normally associate myself to be, or identify as an activist kind of person. I feel quite activist when I talk about, um, neurodiversity. I was really snappy with I got quite heated with, um, my husband actually yesterday around conversations around neurodiversity because, because I'm reading this book and because I'm loving it and because I'm realizing how much we have to all set ourselves on fire to keep each other's, other people warm. You know, I heard that on Instagram the other day and it was like, talking about boundaries, right? It was like, I won't set myself on fire to keep you warm. But that's what we do all the time as neurodiverse people. But neurotypicals don't know that, bless them. They don't realise, they're not asking us to do that. But we're making ourselves do that. So I'm trying to practise. Okay, I'm exhausted, I need to leave. I don't need to go round and say bye to everybody. I'm just gonna sneak out. I did that at the weekend. Felt awful, felt terrible, first time I've ever done it. I would have historically forced myself to stay there, and drunk alcohol to give myself energy to stay there and to drown out the noise. Um, you would never know this about me, and it surprises people. Um. How do I be my authentic self in this life, in this business? How do I honour myself? I'm so bothered all the time by what people think. In the book I'm reading, the Unmasking Autism book, it's talking about this kind of extreme level of people pleasing, where you prioritise other people's comfort over your own. That's like Yeah, I mean, I've really begun the process of not doing that a few years ago, but it's very hard. And now I realise that I'm probably on another layer of unmasking, then it's like, God, that's hard work. That's really hard. Like, if I disagree with somebody saying so, if I need something speaking up, even if it sounds weird or awkward, like, that's a work in progress. So when we talk about being our authentic self in spirituality, for me, this is what it's about. And the word undercoming keeps coming through. And I think there's going to be a future offering that I've daffodil. Um, you know, and I feel like midlife is such a window for unbecoming. Whether you've got alcohol, whether you realise you're neurodivergent, whether you're having a divorce, whether you're changing careers, whether you're, you know, realising all these other huge life things it could be. Maybe it's all of those. Maybe it's like three of those, right? Like, I feel like we're just unbecoming. And it is very unbecoming sometimes. It's seen as unbecoming to ask for what you want. Because women are trained and women are taught to stay quiet, to stay small, to be polite, to serve, serve, serve. And I think you can be in service of others in a way when you actually advocate for yourself. Like, it's the most selfless thing of all. I heard Liz Gilbert on Instagram yesterday saying, you know, she was in a 12 step meeting and somebody was like, the most selfless thing I can do is look after myself, because if I don't look after myself, I will be relying on others to keep me well. Do you know what I mean? And it would be like, it's It's like you make bad choices then they have to pick up the pieces and then it's like the most selfless thing I can do Is rest this afternoon for two hours. The most selfless thing I can do Is to cancel that appointment or that class or something that's just gonna drain me or that social event Because if I go and I drink And I F up my sobriety, you know, giving you these examples. On surface level, you're going to upset somebody. You are. You're going to let someone down. But on a deeper level, you need these things for you. You need to say no. That's where the growth is. It's like, no, I'm not coming to that. Event, you know, no, I'm not coming then or how can I attend but like make myself safe like I'm actually going to come and I'm going to just go for the meal or for an hour or something like that and it's like the same in my business. How can I make sure I have in real life connections with my beloved small community of customers and clients and friends. And actually have, you know what, more one on one time with them. That's actually what I'm craving. And so it's like, okay, maybe now is the time to start offering Reiki. Okay, maybe now is the time to start offering tarot readings, which I'm doing at the minute, for my community. Because they purchased, um, One of the day retreats and I am absolutely loving it and I'm doing the tarot readings But I'm doing them in a way that serves me. So I Sit at home and I channel and I do the reading and then I deliver it by a voice note but we have this intimate connection even though it's over whatsapp and it's not in person, but if it was You know offering different things in my business and having the same thing in your life So what parts of your life could you be like, ah, this is where I'll get the in person connection This is how I can really nourish myself after I've been with other people if that's training me Literally, just, if you keep purifying and if you keep cutting out all the things that don't serve you, which really that is the process of yoga, by the way, I was saying that in my yoga class yesterday, yoga is all about purification of the mind, body and soul, meditating, moving your body. And then the yamas are all about how we treat others and how we treat ourselves, like keeping it pure, keeping it clean. And in 12 step recovery, they say, keep your side of the street clean. Like, keep your hands clean. Yeah, you keep clarifying, you keep clarifying, you keep refining, you keep purifying. And then the truth comes down. You're in a knowing. And then, that's how you live your most authentic life. How do I show up as the best version of me? So I hope that some of that landed with you and resonated with you. Please leave a comment, please leave a rating. Reach out to me at hello at briefbrainyyoga. com That's all for now. Love you, bye!