11 l The Funeral Plans Episode

My written plans for my funeral and wake extravaganzas are as follows. It is very important to write down your funeral plans. Make your final farewell specific to your personal brand. It is more important that we all get more comfortable talking about our own deaths because yeah...that's gonna happen. 

Win most, lose some

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My recommendation: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins : https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-let-them-theory-mel-robbins/1146342595

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:26 Spiritual Moment & Content Rec
• 8:51 Direct, Write, Produce, and Star in Your Funeral
• 15:50 Why I Have My Plans
• 21:53 Themes, Dates, Dress Code
• 27:25 The Event Schedule
• 32:45 The Playlist
• 35:52 Food, Drinks, Paraphernalia
• 37:44 My Styling
• 39:32 Write Your Damn Plans

Transcript

One in 10 people are narcissists, so chances are there is one in your family. And speaking as someone who almost died, if my funeral plans, if my death wishes weren't followed to a tea, I would haunt the living who decided that for the rest rest of their lives. My soul would stay on this earth with the intention of ruining everything for the living until they joined me on the other side where I would then beat the shit out of them.

Almost dying taught me how to live. Being struck by a car left me in a three and a half week coma with 15 broken bones and 16 surgeries to complete, including brain surgery. However, I woke up from that coma in an even greater place than I ever saw for myself. How? The universe will guide you out of the darkness and into the light if you allow it. Often, spirituality comes off as too high a brow. I'm not about that. Welcome to the podcast that talks and teaches about it through the lens of humor. Together, we'll harness positive energy and use it to work with the universe, all while giggling the entire time. Welcome to Gabriella rebranded,

Win most, lose some. 

All right. Okay, hello. This is the first episode I'm actually recording once my podcast was already premiered. As you guys know, I was delayed because of the fires, but yeah, it's a couple weeks after my podcast premiered, and it's been amazing so far, and the launch party was great, and we've had a very successful launch, so it's all really exciting, and I'm so happy to be recording as I can see the people's reaction to it, you know, the public discourse, and it's really great. So thank you all for welcoming me and this is gonna be a bit of a minisode. It's my funeral plans, but before we get into the plans for my funeral, content rec and spiritual moment of the week and the two are kind of tied this week. So my content rec is this book, Let Them by Mel Robbins. And I actually was not planning to show the book in the episode, but I'm giving it to someone after this. And then I was like, "Oh my God, I could take the book out and show you." But anyway, this is a New York Times bestseller. It wouldn't shock me if a lot of you have heard of it. It's all the rage right now. But my mom really wanted me to read it, so she got it for me and I read it. And holy fuck, it has changed my life already. They say it's going to change your life and it does. It's 300 pages but only four times of reading it. I finished it and I'm not a crazy reader. Like it's a really fast easy read. It's really important. It's really great. And it basically what the let them theory teaches you. You are only in control of yourself. You cannot control other people or other circumstances. So what let them is essentially saying that like when When people are mistreating you, whether it's at work, in relationships with friends, let them, let them, because you can't control them. And the amount of energy that we waste being so concerned and so upset with other people or things we can't control when there's no benefit to that, just start letting them. And the way that let them is different than letting it go is letting it go can almost give your mind the sense that you're giving up like you're letting something go you're giving it up you're choosing to walk away you you realize you're not going to win whereas let them kind of it gives you back the power and it places you above the problem I am letting this happen I am allowing this I am letting them do that I am letting this be that way. That's why it's more effective than the notion of letting it go. But what comes in with let them, the problem is it could be a bit of an ego trip, which we need when something is triggering us. That's what we need. But it can almost be like, let them be stupid. Let them be low fucking vibe. Let them be pathetic. Let them do that. Let them behave like that. I'm not going to do that. So it could be a little bit of an ego trip, which we need, but the second part of the book, what it's teaching you is let me. And that's what stops the ego trip and brings you back down to remind you that you're just like everyone else. Because let me says, okay, I can only control myself. I'm letting them do that, but the situation is still the situation. So what am I gonna do to make myself feel What am I going to do to rise above this? What am I going to do to show up to this and to show the universe who I am? And it's already had an effect in my life. It had an effect in my life from like the first day I started reading it. And that's sort of tied to my spiritual moment of the week. This happened Monday. I'm recording this episode on a Wednesday for like the 12th time. Hey, (laughs) Someone hit my car again. Yes, someone hit my car again. And this time I was parked and I was, this is so, I was parked and I was walking away. I was like maybe 10 feet away from my car and I heard it. I heard my car get hit. Kind of like when the valet heard my body get hit. Life imitates art, imitates life, except they're both life. I heard my car get it and I turned around and it was this guy and I like and I was like did you just hit my car and he like rolled down his window and he was like yeah sorry. So how the universe was supporting me there is that I happened to be right there when he hit my car like imagine if I had been inside like or I had gone away I was going to the chiropractor like imagine if I was inside by this point and he didn't know what to do because there was no person available, blah blah blah, but I happened to be there, so I won those quick thinking skills, you know, used to cars bothering me. Took a picture of his license plate, but then he pulled over anyway, and yeah, that's annoying. He hit my car, he bashed in my headlight, like the bumpers messed up, the corners all scraped, but I literally thought, "Let them," I literally, I was like, "Let them," and I was just like so calm, and I was just like, "All right," and he like kept apologizing, I was like, "It's okay, just just give me, just give me the money, just give me your insurance, just give me, just give me the money, just give me, it's, it's, I'm letting them, I'm letting them, I'm letting them," because you know, being upset, being angry, It's only going to just make the problem worse. It doesn't change the problem. My car was hit. Whether or not I got upset or stayed in good mood, like the problem was the problem. The facts were the facts. Breath work, breath support. Like nothing was changing. So like by staying calm, by staying in line, it just allowed me to then let me move some work meetings that I have tomorrow so I can get to the car rental place as soon as possible and get to the mechanic as soon as possible. Let me make sure that I do a workout class that's a little bit earlier so I can go right after it's done and get this car situation sorted out before rush hour gets really bad in LA because rush hour gets really bad in LA. Let me worked out with my roommate how the tandem parking is going to work because with my depth reception in the rental car it's going to be harder because it doesn't have the um the car that I drive it's like a BMW i4 or whatever and I purposely got that car because with my depth reception issues it's like the best in terms of like it backs you out like automatically of the spot that you're in it like has like a lot of sensors it like shows you like literal lines to keep you in and it makes parking and pulling in and out very easily which I struggle with. So like let me talk with my roommate, let me figure out how exactly I'm gonna navigate this because like now I'm in a Toyota that doesn't have all those features. So like let me figure out my roommate how exactly we're gonna do this because we have tandem parking. So that was where the let me came in. Let them was not getting upset just rolling with it like let them do this and then let me was doing what I could to make sure that I handle this as quickly as easily and as efficient as possible so let them 

and now we can talk about my funeral plans. I don't know why this is a controversial or unique take but I think it's really important that we all have plans for our funeral not just theoretical plans but written down specific explicit plans okay and these plans if they're written down they mus legally be respected you know you know I think we all need to have that and in the event of our passing albeit timely or untimely we're all gonna die that that happening, we are all going to die, as the kids say, the only things that are guaranteed in this life are taxes and death. So why not have your final farewell to this present reality be as curated to yourself as possible? Like let it be reflective of your personal brand. Isn't that what you want your goodbye to be? And reason Number one, that written down funeral plans are very important is there's a lot of drama started after someone dies, okay? There's a lot of trauma. They're like, dad wanted this or dad wanted that. We're going against great Aunt Judith's wishes. Some family members start swinging their dick around and instead of doing what the dead wants to do, They make everyone do what they themselves wanted to do, which is beyond fucked up, but unfortunately too common. One in 10 people are narcissists, so chances are there is one in your family. And speaking as someone who almost died, if my funeral plans, if my death wishes weren't followed to a tea, I would haunt the living who decided that for the rest of their lives. I, my soul would stay on this earth with the intention of ruining everything for the living until they joined me on the other side where I would then beat the shit out of them. If you write down your funeral plans, it is indisputable what you want, and you get to maintain your rightful place as the main character of your funeral, which you are. You're the titular character. You should be the main character. And if you write down your plans, you also get to be the writer of your funeral and the director. So you get to do all of it. You get to be the lead actor. You get to be the writer. You to be the the director. The A and B plots have come directly from you, the dead, the departed. And if someone chooses to deny that, that is asking the universe to ain't only fuck you with a cactus for the rest of your life. You are literally asking for that if you deny written down wishes of your dead family member. Like, I don't know why you would do that. And if so, everyone's going to hate you and it is absolutely deserved. It is more than deserved. So if you write down our plans, they have to be respected. And personally, I'm going to leave money aside in my will so I can also be the executive producer of my funeral. And this way, No one can go against my funeral plans by saying they're too expensive because I've left the money, I've left the money. So there, no, no, no, all you have to do is make the calls to get the shit, I've left the money. All you gotta do is swipe the credit card, okay? So I also think if you can, leave some money aside. All right, I think that's not a bad And there's got to be a way, I know some lawyers I'll talk to, but there's definitely a way to make sure that that money is legally bound to go towards your funeral and nothing else. That's got to exist, that's got to be a thing that's out there in the world. So let the record show that this is your warning, especially if I leave money behind to pay for it. My funeral plans, my wishes for my death are to be followed and if you don't follow them, it is just because you're a cunt and not the fun kind. You feel the need, an unhealthy need to make everything about you and that's the opposite of being the main character. That is some recurring character beta bullshit. That's what that is. That is not main character energy at all, okay? So, sit down, follow the plans, and mind your business. The second reason why I think it's so important to write down your free neural plans is for your own psyche, your own human living psyche. It makes death more digestible if you write down your funeral lans. It makes Your own death feel like very normal and death should be normal like We're all gonna do it. Okay That's the rule. There is no exception like we're all gonna die So it's something that should feel really normal and For me via these plans my funeral is a comedic bit at this point Like I am so fucking jealous of everyone who gets to go to my funeral. I am so jealous. The gala I have put together, like, it's going to be incredible. And from the moment we are born, we are dying. That is the reality of the situation. That is how life works, whether or not you like it or not. And then if you write down your funeral plans, you can make them as fun and crazy and as authentic to herself as you want. You can truly celebrate yourself, and that's what death is supposed to be. Your funeral is supposed to be a celebration of life. And this allows you to get everyone excited about celebrating you. Maybe in a way you wish they did while you were alive, but they never did. But if you write down your funeral plans, they fucking have to, they fucking have to, 'cause you'll haunt them if they don't. I'm so jealous of every single person that gets to go to my funeral. I have, I have curated the most fabulous event. It's going to be, it's going to be, I'm, it's going to be a soire. Okay. It's, it's, it's on par with the Met gala. All right. It is the invite of the season. My funeral combined with the wake parties of the decade multiple because there's two things. 

And let's get into it now. At this point, I add that the idea's plans and curated playlist for my funeral were ingrained or not ingrained, developed years before I was hit by the car, years before I danced with death. I don't recall when the inspiration hit me. I think it was always ingrained in the Gabriella ether. However, When I did almost die that one time, there was a little bit of drama around it where, you know, when everyone thought that that was going to be my fate, my friend Christina was like, "I have no idea how to tell Gabby's mom that she once down by Jay Sean played at her funeral." So I was like, "Oh, I know exactly how we're going to get around this. I'm going to write down all these plans." And immediately upon leaving the hospital, I would like to clarify that the Spotify playlist has for my funeral has lived there since 2017, but the explicit plans have not. So immediately upon leaving the hospital, I typed it all up into Google Doc. I shared that Google Doc with some of my closest comrades, so that when I peace out forever for reals, it's there. It's the Google Doc is there. It says exactly what I want. The link to the Spotify playlist is even pasted in the Google Docs, so that's easy to find  @GabbyT18 for anyone interested. But yeah, it's there, it is clear, it is, I wouldn't know if it's concise. I want to say clear and concise, but I don't know if it's concise. I'm kind of a rambler, as you can all tell. Now, my idea for my funeral and wake extravaganza, extravaganza, extravaganza, extravaganza is derived from how I would like my final goodbye to be. And as funerals in the U .S. traditionally stand now, they are so damn sad. They are so damn sad. No one wants to go to them. It's like, oh, I gotta take off work or travel home to go to this depressing shit. Like isn't supposed, isn't taking off work supposed to be fun. Funerals don't make, don't make it fun. They don't make it fun. And I, I do not want my family, my friends. I don't wish them sadness. I don't wish them pain. I wish them love and light. And as funerals stand now in the US, traditionally, traditionally, they are just people gathered together to cry. I don't, I don't, I don't want that. I, I never, I don't want that. It makes me really uncomfortable, not, not unlike an uncomfortable it, but it makes me feel really sad when I see one of my friends crying or my family member crying. It makes me, I don't want that. That's not what I wish upon them. That's not what I want to like curse them with, essentially, when I die. Like, I only want to give to them. So My last wish for my friends and family is to not be united in their grief and tears, but rather to send it in my honor. Get lit for those of us who can't anymore, you know? And personally, I don't follow organized religion. So I don't want a priest or anything of the sort being the one who says the last things about me and leading the goodbyes. I've been to too many funerals where the dead themselves didn't really give a fuck about organized religion, yet there we are gathered in a church. And like, that just doesn't make sense to me, and it's not something that I want. And if that's important to you, if religion is important to you, like, power to you, your funeral should absolutely be at your temple of worship. like, that's the point of what I'm saying in the funeral place. It should be curated to you. If that's what you want, if that's what's important to you, power to you. We should respect that. We should show up wherever it is that you like to worship. I am not condemning those to follow organized religion at all. Some people in my family are very Catholic. That's not what this is about. What it's about is that it's on you, okay? It's your thing. And when it comes to anyone's death, the person who died should have complete control over the situation and we should always pay respect to their wishes. That being said, Gabtitty, don't fuck with organized religion, okay? I'm very spiritual, as you all know, I have this fucking podcast, but I personally don't get along with the Catholic Church. Sorry, grandma. I have my reasons for not liking it. So whatever stations of the cross you choose to follow or not follow, that is fine. But, but, but, Gabriella don’t follow no stations. So you keep doing you. I'ma keep doing me. God, the universe, energy, whatever you want to call it. It's all the same fucking thing. All right. So for me, no church. That is number one. Believe it or not, none of us actually know what happens when you die. No one has reported back. So no one could say with a hundred percent confidence that this is what happens when you die. None of us know. It doesn't matter how much you believe in your faith, like I believe in what I believe, it is theoretical. None of us know. Your belief can be your belief to your core, but there's always zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one percent. You don't have confirmation, okay? You don't have 100 % proof. And that's all right. That's what makes being alive so fun 'cause there's a constant mystery to it. Yes, I've been confirmed. Yes, I've made my communion. Yes, I've done all the Catholic jazz. I've gathered in the church on Sundays to eat the saltine cracker, hashtag cannibalism that we pretend is body. I don't understand why that is something that we do. It doesn't make sense to me, but we do it. However, I did all that because I was below the age of 18 and that's what my parents wanted me to do. But now I'm above the age of 18, I'm 27. So we're gonna do what I'm gonna do, okay? What I wanna do. 

When it comes to my funeral, the day of, and also the week of, we can't forget that crucial part. There's a few general things that I want to, you know, take care of right off the bat. We need to get these right right away. So my first thing is that my funeral should start at 3 p .m. No one should have to wake up early. Like, I know no one should have to wake up early. Everyone should be allowed to sleep in, take their time getting ready, and you're going to need some time to get ready because both my funeral and my wake are themed Okay. So you're going to need to time to get your outfit ready, get your costume ready, get in, do your hair, do your makeup, get in theme. So we need to give people their time to get ready. And I don't want anyone waking up till at least 3pm or so. Okay. I don't want any of this like 9am funeral. No, no, not for me. 3pm. And to dress in theme, especially it's important because it's a requirement to gain entry and there will be security at the door that is monitoring that. If you're not in the theme, you're not getting in. Doesn't matter if you're my grandma. Pay attention to this grandma. You have to be in theme if you want to enter. Okay. And my funeral on top of that, it should only be on a day where the weather's good. I've had to stand outside at funerals where it's fucking freezing in like the middle of December. And no, no, no, no, no, that, that, that, that's, that's not what I want. That is not what I want to wish on anyone not not for your girl okay that's that's not gonna work I want my passing to only be remembered with the fondest of memories not oh my god it was so freezing at that funeral or it was pouring rain no no no no no so if I die in New York in like February the funeral shouldn't be until like April May June is an ideal month I like June. And if I die in California, Los Angeles in like August, August is probably too hot to have a funeral. So you should hold off till like September, October, you know, that probably works a little bit better. The wake can be held immediately because the wakes are largely indoors. So the wake can be held, that's also themed. The wake can be held immediately, but the we're we're holding off until the weather's good and it is really important that the temperature because you know you can if it's indoors you can curate the temperature too warm to cold but it's really important that the temperature is the right temperature because like my funeral is black tie themed so I don't want guys in their tuxes like being too hot you know and I want girls to be able to wear as little of their little black dresses as they want they want. So like it's the weather is really, really important. I don't want anyone uncomfortable. I want everyone happy. I don't want anyone like I want people to be happy with what they're wearing and appreciate how good they look. If it's raining, postpone the funeral, but that's a given. Listen, I don't want to stand outside in the rain while I'm alive, so I definitely don't want to do it while I'm dead. 

And I I don't want anyone's dresses or outfits getting wrecked. I don't want heels getting wrecked. And I don't want people in the mud. And I imagine a lot of people are going to buy new dresses for this event. I mean, at least I would. And if I would do it for you, you should do it for me, OK? If I'm spending all the money to throw this fucking event, the least you can do is toss in a floor -length dress and a sports jacket. Like that's not a big deal. So like, I would expect most people to buy something new and by most, I mean all. Like that's what it really should be. If you're honoring me, I would do it for you. And to be clear, men are not limited when I say black tie. If they wanna dress trendy, like not limited to a tux. If they want to dress trendy black tie like Harry Styles, like follow in his footsteps, not Timothee Chalamet's though. I don't like the way Timmy dresses. And Timmy, if you're watching this, you're not. But if you are, this is not knocking, I'm not a stylist, so you don't have to heed my advice. I'm not a stylist. But for my own damn funeral, Yes to Harry, no to Timmy, don't dress like that, okay? I really don't like it, that wouldn't work. And I'd be really upset from upstairs if I saw you trying to do that. My wake, so the funeral's black tie. My wake is faux fur themed, okay? And we can make it cold even if I die in the summer, but we don't want it to be too cold because some of the best faux fur outfits, I would know and I've worn a lot of them. Some of the best faux fur outfits are like a dress or a little two -piece set underneath a big fur jacket. Or like, I love a first shawl moment. I love a first y 'all moment over like a little dress or something else that you're wearing. So we don't want it to be too cold. We want it to be like probably fifties, like maybe six. And like, you know, yeah, fifties, I think fifties work. Fifties probably makes sense. We can really play around of this. Faux fur it gives you a lot the ability to have a lot of fun. And it has to be faux. It can't be real for I do not support that at all. It has to be faux and security will also be checking that at the door. And if it's real for you're not getting in, you're not getting in. So you need proof that it is faux. Okay. You need you need to have that fir and feux. 

All right.  Back to the funeral the day of.  It needs It needs an MC, my funeral needs seven MC. There will be auditions held to find out who's the MC. The funniest person wins. However, 2-10 other people that audition for MC or they can audition for this part specifically, they're going to gather and separately tell a story, their favorite story or their favorite things about me. And not sad, I don't want this part to be sad at all. These stories also need to be giggles, smiles. Hopefully we're making people laugh. Nothing sad, just stories reflecting how great I was and how hilarious I was. It is very important that we keep the crowd entertained at this part. This shouldn't take too long, maybe like 45 minutes depending on how good, the stories are. We want to keep the audience engaged in Gabriella reflection, you know? We want to keep them engaged in Gabriella conversation. We don't want them like wishing bored or like zoning out or wishing that like wishing that it was over during the retellings of my memories and triumphs. Triumphs. We want them excited. And also, you always want to leave them wanting a little bit more. You always want to leave them wanting a little bit more of Gabriella. So be stingy with this. You know, let's make sure that they are satisfied by the content. Like it's long enough to do that. It's, you know, filled with enough that I'm honored. It is my funeral after all, but just long enough that people are enthralled and kind of could have done with a little bit more. Maybe we should split this up like 50 /50 between the wake and the funeral, like maybe especially if they're like really far apart depending on when I die, like maybe that's the best way to go, we're gonna workshop that a little bit more. And also if we split it up in between the wake and the funeral, I'm talked about at both events. And if I can't talk about me because I'm otherwise preoccupied being dead, you best believe someone else better be talking about me. Okay. Oh, also at the wake, I want one hired professional griever just because that's an actor who is hired. Yes, you can find this, it exists. It's an actor who is hired to like sob at the funeral and act really sad and I want one person higher to do that because I think it is hilarious that someone makes their living people not someone people make their living off of this and also like I'm theatrical I love the drama so like I I I definitely want this one person there but I don't want any of my actual friends and family like sobbing I only want someone who is paid to sob to sob do you got what I'm saying but yeah I definitely want that, that would be so fun. Oh, uh, yes, I absolutely want dancing Pallbearers hired. That's where Pallbearers perform a choreographed dance routine with your coffin. Yes, this exists. And I don't want to use this, this tradition. I, I know it's not my cultureI intend to pay respect to it because I love it. I resonate with the Dancing Pallbearers so much. The Dancing Pallnearers are from a coastal town in the Accra region of southern Ghana. And I, the, a little bit about them, the founder Benjamin Aidoo, he absolutely deserves a shout out. And I think there should just be a little more talked about, you know, the Dancing Pallbearers because I do want to pay respect because I fucking love this so much and when I found out that they existed I was like oh my god there are other people that agree with me that funerals should be a celebration of life. African um cultures tend to really give to funerals what I think should be given to funerals and they're truly Speaking of my coffin, like the dancing pallbearers dancing with my coffin, anything involving my coffin is purely symbolic, okay? It's purely symbolic because I want my ashes cremated and compressed into a diamond, a black diamond specifically. And I don't want to be put on some like jewelry because what if like my great, great, great, great granddaughter is like, you know, a fucking lo -fi bitch. I don't want that. I want to be passed down as a family heirloom from generation to generation And then they can be like this was your great great great great great and that's what I want Okay, just little little little black diamond passed down from generation to it would make great decor It make great decor and then you decor and you would always get people asking about it. And you can be like, Oh, it was this woman from like centuries ago, she died. Like, I mean, if the earth is still here in centuries, I don't think it's going to be here in like 40 years. So whatever. But you know what I mean? Just like, Oh, this person who was apparently related to me, she died. 

And now we get to the really good part. Okay. So the playlist, I have a fully stacked 98 song playlist, five hours and 48 minutes that can be played throughout the duration of my wake and my funeral. But there are a few songs that I want to specifically highlight because these songs I want played at very specific times and places. This playlist again, saying it again, so I actually, I don't need to say it again, but the playlist can be found on my personal Spotify @GabbyT18. Okay, so first off, I want my coffin to be lowered into the ground to down by Jay Sean, specifically the candlelight version. You can look it up, look up the candlelight version. If you hadn't heard it, he obviously only created that song with the intention that it would be played at funerals. There was no other, there was no other logical place where that song would played like there could be no other reason he would have made that and this way my coffin is going into the ground like when the chorus hits to down down that's when my coffin is going into the you get it do you get it do you see the imagery do you see the symbolic the metaphor fantastic it's it's amazing oh this one's really good if I die on a Friday Last Friday night by Katy Perry has to be played at my funeral and that was self -explanatory. I don't think I even need to get into that one Oh, I will survive Must be played for the irony that that would be the funniest moment. Well, actually Maybe someone will surprise me with their story, but right now I will survive for the irony. That's the funniest moment Going off that only the good die young by Billy Joel needs to be played regardless if I die old or young because either way it's funny. Like either way it's funny. So that definitely needs to make an appearance. During story of my life by one direction there should be a montage of my life and at one part like I want there to be an instrumental lyrical karaoke break and my hologram is going to come out and perform spoken word. Okay, like that would be so cool. Um, ooh, my coffin. And remember, it will be light enough to do this because it is not made to carry a body. It is purely symbolic. It needs to crowdsurf to zero to hero from Hercules. I just imagine a coffin crowdsurfing. Like, I just, I need that map and okay. And again, it will be light because it's a formality, so everyone will leave. So it'll be fine and everyone can carry it. Okay, lastly, the last song that it needs to be played is "Everyone Needs to Leave to Closing Time" because that is a requirement of all gatherings that in the 21st century, that closing time is the last song played or have you never been to a fucking party? Well, if you haven't been, You're going to go to your first one. 

If I die in LA, I want my wake to be catered by Ospi in Venice. And I want my funeral to be catered by Perch in downtown LA. And if I die in New York and the celebrations are in New York, I want the wake to be catered by Hendrick's Tavern, which is a local restaurant near where I'm from on Long Island. I'm from in New York, it's in Roslyn. And the funeral, this one's upper. I haven't locked down where I want my funeral if I die in New York to be catered by. I'm still thinking about this. We're still, we're still workshopping this one. We're still considering. There's a lot of different options that we have. Ooh. And now for the drinks. So these are the drinks that are going to be there. Bottomless espresso martinis with tequila, tequila shots, extra spicy margaritas, old -fashioned red wine, orange wine, rosé. Absolutely no white. I am not Satan. There will be no white wine at my funeral. There can also be coronas. Need to be a ton of limes though. And there is obviously non -alcoholic version of all these drinks offered. Guys, I have a fucking brain injury. injury. Obviously, that's part of my brand. So there's your proof versions of all these drinks. I've had amazing non -alcoholic espresso martinis, tequila, spicy margaritas, wine, beer. I've never had a non -alcoholic old -fashioned, but I'm sure it's somewhere and I'm sure there's great one. So we can definitely get that. We can definitely make that happen. Tons and tons and tons and tons of weed in all forms, edibles, joints, pens, bongs. If it's marijuana, I want it there. And Gabriella rebranded was rebranded with shrooms, so all the shrooms in the world. Shrooms, chocolate, dried shrooms in raw form, shroom drinks, all the fucking shrooms. That's mainly what I want people to be doing at my funeral on a wake. 

And finally, the most important part of the entire events, how I am styled. Okay, so for my wake, I either want to be in a cheetah or leopard print juicy couture track suit. Have you met me? A lot of you probably haven't. But that is the most on -brand thing for Gabriella rebranded. Track suit, sweatsuit, that is cheetah print or leopard print juicy couture. Okay, definitely want that for my wake. now for my funeral. I wanna be in the dress that Lily Rose Depp wore to the Met Gala in 2019. I think about that dress three times a week, okay? It is Archived Chanel, it's beautiful, it's black with gold chains, like that's my brand. Look at what I wore to my launch party. So that is the dress I need to be buried in and I will leave the money behind to get the Archive Chanel. And obviously the curls need to be curling on both days and my makeup. I definitely want gold eyeshadow That's like my thing like I try to do my eyeshadow differently I purposely try to not do gold so I don't do gold all the time because gold is my favorite color and people always say that I only wear gold eyeshadow and I purposely don't but it's because gold looks the best because there are gold flecks in my brown eyes so you Remember the gold, the gold stands out. So on gold eyeshadow, definitely eyeliner wings. And I want the face done as well, but I defer to the makeup artist on what exactly works 'cause I know dead skin, it can be a little weirder. But gold eyeshadow, or not weirder, but different, weird, different, whatever word you wanna use. But gold eyeshadow, black eyeliner wings, and also everything else. But I defer to the makeup artist who knows more about working dead skin. 

And, um, do you see how comfortable I am talking about my own death? Let's all get to this place. All right. Funerals are a celebration of life, a good on you, a job well done, like my life is to be reverend, not make people sad. And like, I don't live with the purpose of making people sad. I live with the purpose of making people laugh and making people happy and like let me go out as I lived committing to the bit and finding the laughter in the darkest of times like that is how I want it and my homework to all of you all of my listeners is to write out your funeral plans okay make them and write them down plan your fucking funerals and if you do you will receive even invite to my personal funeral extravaganza. And that ticket, that ticket to my gala, to my soiree, that's going to be worth 50k. Like you can quote me on that hashtag manifesting, like the ticket to my funeral, it's going to be worth that much. My funeral is going to be the most exclusive event to cop and invite to. So yeah. Anyway, subscribe, follow me, leave a review, hit me up on Instagram @GabrielaRebranded. This has been Gabriela Rebranded. When most loose, send me your funeral plants if you write them up, send them to me so I can write you down as someone who needs to be invited to my funeral. Okay, thanks, that's it, bye.