Ep 19 | Intuition vs Inner Critic: How To Differentiate Them?

Trust your intuition, ignore your inner critic - but how? My ICF certified life coach, a fan favorite repeat guest, Dominique Gold helps me break down how to choose yourself, choose love, and ignore anxiety-inducing attack thoughts.

We all need to get better about trusting our intuition, sis is never wrong, but it’s hella hard to trust her when we’ve been conditioned our whole lives by society to not trust our intuition. Instead, we’ve learned to foster attack thoughts which are a terrible, shitty, anxious, panicky substitute.

Trusting our intuition feels right & grounded, even if it includes (which it usually does) making a pretty bold decision because it is choosing yourself and love. Our attack thoughts feel like fear because…that’s what they are!! Listening to them can feel like entertaining the whims of others - it definitely doesn’t feel like choosing yourself.

But how do we learn to trust our intuition?! It’s a gut feeling, we have no proof! In fact, we usually have ‘the proof’ to do the opposite of what our intuition tells us to do. Well, bitch, that’s what I’ve been trying to learn and get better at for the past year or so and Dom is who has been helping me do it. We’ve gotten a good enough grasp on this complex/higher-thinking/philosophical subject. We teach what we can, and, hopefully, if all listeners get a good enough grasp, we can all come together in one full grasp ;)

Win most, lose some 

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Dom’s website Ever After Coaching

Links: @‌everafterwithdom on Instagram Dominique | Life & Mindset Coach (@everafterwithdom)

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:40 Knowing intuition vs inner critic
• 5:18 step 2: listening
• 10:11 our tendency to outsource decisions from others
• 17:54 selectivity when receiving feedback
• 22:33 Protecting your energy
• 24:36 step by step guide
• 28:42 relief of choosing love
• 31:55 everyone's entitled to their own wrong opinion
• 35:35 One Direction's formation: intuition
• 40:32 Dating & intuition
• 48:46 Extroverted extroverts & fomo
• 54:25 Trust yourself, fuck justifying
• 1:02:19 Goodbye!

Transcript

But sometimes if a situation is bad enough, which I hope it doesn't get there for somebody, but if it is bad enough, it won't matter what people say. Because you will say, you know what, things are, this is not right for me, this is not it. And I know that this is not it. And I've gotten to the breaking point, and I'm making this choice. And I've been there too. Yeah. And it's just, it's like nobody else is experiencing what you're experiencing. Who are they to tell you? Exactly. No one else is living your life. We are all the main characters of our own story. We're not the main characters of other people's stories. We're all the extroverted extroverts of our own story. We're all the extroverted extroverts of our own story. Exactly.

Almost dying taught me how to live. Being struck by a car left me in a three and a half week coma with 15 broken bones and 16 surgeries to complete, including brain surgery. However, I woke up from that coma in an even greater place than I ever foresaw for myself. How? The universe will guide you out of the darkness and into the light if you allow it. Often spirituality comes off as too highbrow. I'm not about that. Welcome to the podcast that talks and teaches about it through the lens of humor. Together, we'll harness positive energy and use it to work with the universe, all while giggling the entire time. Welcome to Gabriella Rebranded. Win most, lose some

say hi to Dom as usual as usual like as you I'm here a lot that she's here a lot but everyone who loved her in season one or who hasn't watched it yet um or listened to it yet here she is this is dom she is an ICF certified life coach she is my life coach and today we are here to talk about versus attack thoughts, which is a really good topic. It is a really good topic and it's really important. I think especially, I think it's important for everyone, but especially as a woman in your 20s. It's really important to distinguish between attack thoughts and intuition and it's really, really, really, really hard. It is really hard. I feel like the world has a lot of opinions that you internalize as a woman and because of that, I feel like it's become increasingly difficult to know the difference between attack thoughts and intuition. People are going to mix up a lot. Yeah. And yeah, I, for one, know that I mix it up a lot. It's something I'm trying to get better now, and I know I mix it up a lot. And in addition, people have a hard time trusting their intuition. Yeah, definitely. Sometimes you don't know what it is. So it's like, how can you trust it if you don't even know what your intuition is exactly or it's like all the facts you're getting don't add up with what you feel you know what I mean and it's like but I just feel like it's this way but there's X and there's Y and there's Z and I know there's X and there's Y and the Z but I still feel Q and like yeah yeah and that's it's very hard but I think the hardest thing that like literally the hardest is intuition versus attack thoughts because I know I've been trying to really hone this and what's so hard about it is there have been times where I'm like I am so fucking sure. Yeah, you're like positive. I'm positive and then no, that's not it at all and you were fully listening to your attack thoughts. Yeah, I mean, it's taken me personally a long time to figure out how to distinguish the two and it can still be hard. I do talk about this a lot with clients. I know we've talked about this, and you've gotten, like, so much better at it, too. You know what, it's a journey? No one's perfect at it. We're going to keep getting better. I'm working at it, okay? She's doing good, guys. She's doing well. I'm doing my homework. Yeah. But I would say, like, the main starting point that I usually bring up is, okay, what even is the difference? Like, what do we even describe them as? Because it's, again, it's internal to us. It's not like anybody else can tell you. What I always say is intuition is always rooted in love and peace. And it's more of a feeling. It's not going to spiral you or make you anxious. It's kind of a neutral. Whether it's telling you to pursue something scary or do something big or something that you don't want, it's not going to be like, oh my God, my heart's pounding. I'm anxious. Like, let me spiral, what if this, what if that? And attack thoughts, on the other hand are the opposite. So they're rooted in fear. And those are the what if. They're normally negative towards yourself or a situation, whereas intuition is not negative, regardless of what it's telling you to do. It's just your intuition of feeling. But I do think intuition sometimes, it's like, don't do this thing. Oh, don't go there. And that is always. But again, that's like, that's more of like a statement. It's not positive or negative. Don't do this. I wouldn't say it's negative or positive. It's just don't do this. It's a feeling that I shouldn't. Whereas an attack that would be like, oh, I'm not good enough. If I do this, everything's going to go wrong. If I don't do this, I don't know. And that's where you get kind of spun up and we become anxious. So I feel like that's the main difference.

 And again, even knowing that is one thing, but then being able to actually be in a moment and feel the difference is another because sometimes we do get anxious and we are worried about something and we're like oh my god I don't know if this is my intuition or if it's just an attack thought or if I'm just worrying and then it becomes really really hard to disentangle the two yeah and I also feel like the difference between intuition and attack thoughts but this you have to get so good at feeling this is like you have to do a lot of exercises to like really you have to do your reps to get to know how this feels. Like the gym. No, yeah. This is not like for freshmen in learning. This is like a sophomore level. No, not sophomore. What the fuck did I say sophomore? This is like a senior level. Senior AP. Yes, the senior AP of like distinguishing between the feelings is your intuition. Even if it's bad, like don't do that thing or don't trust that person, it's a grounded bad. Right. It's a safe, not a safe bad, but it's like, this is a grounded warning. Don't do that. We're going to. Like you can make your pros and cons list and whatever we all do when we're freaking out about things. But sometimes you just know and you have that feeling and it does not add up with that. And that's when it becomes really hard too. I'm working on a separate business venture and I had an opportunity come up that on paper was pretty good and exciting. I might have wanted it to be a little bit different, but I really saw the value in it. And I just had this strong feeling in voice that was like, no, like, you kind of deserve more than this. Don't do it. Like, do not do it. And I wanted to, right? Because I was excited and whatnot.

But I felt it so strongly. And I didn't want to listen to it. That's what made me a little anxious, right? It wasn't that in itself. It was me wanting to, like, rebel against it kind of. And I kind of just sat with it, let it wash over me. And I was like, you know, I have to trust myself on this one. I ended up not doing it. And then, thank God, because later, I did end up getting all that credit and exactly what I wanted. And then I went through with it. So it was, it was one of those situations where I was like, okay, this isn't like what I want to hear necessarily. But when you learn to like feel that and sit with it and not make like a rushed to decision, which I think attack thoughts do kind of rush you a bit, it feels very urgent. Talk obviously it's the opposite. Like, you don't, you don't need to act on those spurs of emotion and your anxiety. That's never helped. Yeah. You know, you, you want to be in a calm, grounded place before you take action. A decision made in anxiety has never helped. Mm -hmm. Yeah. And, like, sometimes you think, like, you're taking that risk. You're taking that shot. You're going out there. But if it's made while you're anxiety, no. Yeah. No. If you're now, if taking that try and making that risk, but it's, oh, we've all done it. I've done it. Do it like every other day. And you send that text when you're like spiraling, you're like, oh, shouldn't have done that. Oh my God. But I feel anxious. I have to. I just, I just did that. I just did that. And luckily, I was able to recover because the person said, yes, because no, no, no, not even because of that. The person goes, I can't tell if you're serious or joking. And I was like, I'm joking. Yeah. I was a joke. Because as soon as they said it, I was like, oh my God. I just listened to my, I was like, that's not going. I was like, I was crashing out when I said that. And I was like, but luckily, they kind of gave me out. They gave me an out by saying, I mean, listen, no, we're all going to do it. They gave me the choice to double down or not double down. And I said, I'm I'm going to help out. I'm going to course correct. You gave me the option to course correct. So I'm a course correct. Yeah. I for sure had that happen. But it becomes easier, like I was saying, I mean, to distinguish the two. 

And kind of what you touched on in the beginning, I do feel like as a woman, we rely on other people's opinions and what society tells us and what we think we should do so much that we internalize that as fact. And I think that, in fact, I know that that makes it really hard to trust ourselves and trusting ourselves in intuition, like hand in hand, right? Yeah. I mean, we've talked about this in sessions before, right? Like, how do we expect to trust our intuition on really big decisions when we can't even go out without asking our friends what to wear? Do you think I should wear this or wear that? Or like, what should I eat for lunch today? Or should I do this? Should I do that? Like, don't get me wrong. I love, like, friendship and I love connection. And I think we totally should ask for input and opinions on things. But as females, I have found that it's like everything. Everything. We need approval and we need validation. And we literally don't make any decisions for ourselves. And there's silly things. But that adds up, right? If you can't even make a decision without asking somebody on something small, how will you ever know? I don't have lip filler, but I asked someone, I was like, should I get lip filler? And they were like, no. So then I asked somebody else, should I get lip filler? And they were like, no. So then I asked another person, should I get some lip filler? I kept asking people. And finally, one of my friends was like, you just want to get lip filler. And I was like, no, yes. I was like, I haven't done it. But I was like, I think I'll become too powerful if I get lip filler. I think that's why people don't want me to get it. I'll become too fucking powerful. But no, I still don't have lip filler. I don't think I'm going to do it. You didn't ask me. I don't think I'm going to do it. Did I ask it? I don't know. Do you think I should get lip filler? Well, now I feel like it's a trap. Now you feel like whatever I say is a trap. What do you think? No, I want your genuine answer. What do you think? Well, I would Okay, what are your reasons? See, I'm in a life, could you? I'm going to turn it around and ask you questions. I'm not going to give you my. I would like a bigger top lip. I think most girls would like a bigger top lip. Eh, not most. But, you know, it's always about the top lip. But, you know, they can't, every girl says they want to just do the top lip. Guys have said this too. But they say they wanted to just do the top lip, but they can't do that. That's like not. It's like they have to do both. It's like they They have to both. What are your hesitations? Because sometimes people get too much or they don't get them done well. And like, I'm going to use the Cierra from Love Island example. She was roasted on. Very culturally relevant. She was roasted on the internet for her lip filler. Really? They kept calling her, like, duck lips. So that's my hesitation, that it won't come out good. But I've also only wanted to do, like, If I did it, I would do like half a tube or whatever. So it'd be very slight. It'd be very slight. So I don't know. I mean, should we defy this episode and tell everyone to leave a comment about if I should Hey guys. Hey guys. I'm actually here because I want you guys to tell Gabrielle. Tell me, should I get Lip filler? Should I do it? Leave a comment. Let her know and also recommend where she can go. Yeah, well, I kind of already know. I've had to see a lot of plastic. I was, no, no, no, no. And I was, like, thinking about it. And I was like, I don't know, because I've gone under the knife a bunch. So, like, I get it. But something, like, I think they look good, if done right, not done too much. But something about them just, like, cutting into your skin. Like, something about that freaks me. And as I'm giving, like, my whole explanation about how, like, that just freaks me out the entire process. I was like, oh, wait, I already had a face lift. You're like, So my answer is yes. I already did that when they removed my brain injury scar. So I was like, oh, wait. Been there, done that. So the answer is yes. And after seeing what you look like, I think I, too, would get a facelift. Yeah, yeah. Getting my answer is yes now. Yeah, exactly. It looks great. It looked great. It looked great. It looked great. Yeah. Now, you could still see my scar right here, but I put, like, cover up on it. Looks like it just hairlined to me. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? But I've only started putting cover up on it at my launch for this. So, like, it hasn't been a thing. I literally wouldn't even notice. Also, I don't think anyone would notice. It's a thing that only you yourself notice. There are so many things like that. It's, like, only you yourself notice. Like, it's so many things. Basically, everything. Also, my last surgery on this eye, no one thought my eye was fucked up. I thought it was terrible. I don't even remember. Exactly. See? See? Like what the surgery was before or what it looked like. See? like, if you want to do something, you should. If you want to do something, do it. Like, if you want to do something, I almost, I feel like, like, sure, it can be intuition, of course, but it's also, like, make your own decisions. If it only affects you, like, it's a beauty procedure, do it, make your own decisions. And actually, going off the clothes thing, how girls, how we're trained to, like, we always text people like, should I wear that? Should I wear? What did I wear? What's better? Clothes, I feel like, is the one thing that I, as you know, have really practiced that with where I'm like, I don't reveal my outfits, it's a surprise. And people ask me what I'm wearing and like, it's a surprise. I like that. I don't reveal my outfits. And again, it seems like, I feel like if I were a man listening to this, I would not understand. No. I don't know if men ask each other anything. No. Do you men? Men, do you guys ask each other anything? Do you guys ever ask each other, what are... And does it, like, change what you do, or do you do what you want? Yeah, like, do you ever ask for my friends, what are you wearing to the bar tonight? Yeah, what are we wearing to the bar today? Or, like, ooh, I'm between these two things. What should they eat for lunch? I don't think a man's ever said that. No. I'm sorry. No, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so either. Sometimes I'll ask, like, how casual is it? Sure. No, and again, like, that is, all of this has to be taken to be with a grain of salt. I'm not saying, never ask somebody what they're wearing or for input or advice on something. I'm just saying if that's your first instinct before even like fully thinking about it yourself, you're already outsourcing it to your friends. You're already outsourcing. We don't need to do that. So if you're, I mean, if you're already outsourcing the micro decisions, how are you ever going to make the major decisions. Exactly. You can't. The answer is you can't. You'll rely on everybody else, too. And I'm not saying again, I do think that we should seek counsel from others, but I also think that we aren't probably intentional enough with who we seek that guidance from. Because it does impact us, like, a lot. 

You should be really picky with who you ask for, you know, input and advice. That's something else I've gotten better with. I'm like, I only want the input from these select people. I don't want the input from person X, person Y, person Z. Like, I only want, I keep using X, Y, Z. But I'm like, I only want input from the, these are why I trust their opinions or just this one person's opinion, I don't want input from everyone else, whoever else wants to offer it. Like, I don't, I don't want to. I've even, like, sometimes gotten the habit of, like, when I'm doing something or deciding between the things that I'm asking someone's opinion, I tell them, like, do not tell anyone else that I'm debating doing this because I just want, I want it to be my choice. And when I make the choice, if it's a big choice, I wanted to be like, oh, wow, she's a bad bitch. He made this brave choice. others, like, I think that's so cool. Part of what is so hard about listening to your intuition is, like, the outside pressure. Yeah. Noise, whether that's from your parents, from friends, blah, blah, blah. There's so often just outside pressure. And I remember I was in a situation, like a year or two ago now, year and a half, whatever, maybe longer than I don't know. But I was in a situation where, like, I was getting all these opinions that I didn't want. It was like someone else chose to go and tell everyone all about this situation that I was in. And the situation, like, it only affected, like, me and one other person. And I was getting, and this third party just went and, like, told everyone. And I was getting so much outside feedback about how to handle it.

so, and I'm going to be four in a couple weeks, but it was a little bit... A toddler. I know, it was a little after two years. And so, like, my... And I've healed so much since then. And I wasn't good. Something I really had to learn again was, like, how to stand on my own two feet and be like, in my thing, in my answers and my beliefs, because I was so... My thought was so… My brain had to heal so much. and it was as I was told to, X, Y, Z. Drink. Oh, my God, drink. And, um... Drink every time Gabriela says X, Y, Z. I'll do it. Presume. This was a little after two years. So I was like, he… Like, I was getting better. Like, I wasn't at the, like, just point me in a direction. Like, I was... But I wasn't... Good. Like, I wasn't good. So I instead was at the place where I wanted to trust myself. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. But I felt like I shouldn't because just all these people were telling me not to you. And it was stressing me out so much. And everybody was telling me to do this, to do X, to do what. Oh my God, I just did it again. But like everyone else was telling me, and it was like, I wanted to trust myself because I was getting a little bit better at that, but everyone was telling me not to. And then luckily, I wound up speaking to the only other person that was involved in the situation. And they so grounded and so eloquently was just like, Gabriella, you are right. I agree with you. She's not going to do that. We are not going to do that. This doesn't involve anyone else. Why are we talking about this? And I was like, thank you. I was like, that's what I thought, but I couldn't say. I was like, that's what I thought, but I couldn't say. 

You know what's really interesting? Like, obviously you have a brain injury, and that's a completely different. I mean, I've never been through that. Probably most people listening haven't been through that. However, what you're describing with, oh, whatever people tell me, I believe, whatever people will tell me to do, I'll do, like, very malleable in terms of what people are saying. I feel like that's most people. Whether they have a brain injury or not, and again, I'm not trying to, And you might don't even know it, right? Exactly. Such a conscious effort. And something that I think is also really tied to your intuition is protecting your energy, which I'm trying to be a lot of, I'm trying to be much better about doing. And I am. Yeah. For sure. Doing good at this. But like with protecting your energy, part of that is listening to your intuition. Because your intuition obviously wants like your energy to be protected. And when you choose a situation that's draining, that's draining your intuition, that's almost listening to attack thoughts because it's a like, because going against it is bad too. Yeah. Because eventually the signals your intuition, like if you keep pushing it down, pushing it down, pushing it down. Living in resistance. It's going to be quieter and quieter and quieter. Like, you're not listening to it until it's going to be really hard to ever hear it because why would it continue to, like, speak to you clearly if you're going to just ignore it. Yeah. If you live in resistance, if you deny, deny your intuition, you are draining it. It's so much energy to restrict. To restrict is so much energy to not let things just be. And then also, like, listening to your attack thoughts winds up draining you. Because it winds up putting you in situations that aren't restorative but are draining. 

Right. I do want to say, like, I want to outline some ways that people can start to listen to their intuition since most of us aren't. Yes. I've done this. Gabrielle has done this. Let's all do it. So obviously the first one we talked about, start noticing where you're constantly seeking outside advice from others in really small ways and stop doing that. Like asking what to wear. Like asking it to wear. Or if you should get lip lip filler. Yeah. All of those little things. You can eventually decide to seek counsel on those things, but first notice where you're doing it. And if you're a girl, maybe even if you're a guy, you'll probably see that you're doing this a lot. And if you make a conscious effort to just really check in with yourself and see what you want to do and what feels right, and again, not every decision is going to be like this huge, intuitive, like, moment. Yeah, but, you know, you start doing that on your own. That's, like, a really, really big step. I would say the second thing is to not make any decision, like we were saying, when you do feel really heightened in terms of emotion. I can almost guarantee you that is not your intuition. Do not send a text to someone when you're crashing out. Sometimes they're not going to, like, give you the out, like what happened to real. So in general. When you're crashing out, don't send a text. When you are trying to really feel in touch with yourself, like give yourself time. Ground yourself. Honestly, like, if you meditate, do that. If you want to just check in and, like, breathe and try and slow down, that's when you can actually, like, give your intuition a chance to speak to you or let yourself feel because we're so busy. We're so distracted. We're never free. We're constantly doing things. I definitely like this sometimes. That it's like, we don't take a second to slow down. How are we going to know? It's not just going to scream over all of that noise. Like, we have to consciously, like, create space for our intuitions to then present themselves to us. And then lastly, I would say, this is actually a really cool exercise. If you look back on things in the past where whether you listened to your intuition or not, you had that feeling, let's say you listened, think of those examples and also think of the examples where you didn't listen. Because I think we can all think back, like, even the example I gave about the business venture. I knew that was intuition. I luckily listened. Either way, I would have known and I would have seen the outcome. If we can look back on instances where it's been clear and we've either followed through or not, we can kind of start to see like, okay, that's what it feels like. That's, look, look, what happened when I were telling me, keep at acting, keep at it, keep at it. I remember. And my intuition was it told me, like, just because this thing has been what you wanted to do since you were for, that doesn't mean that it's going to be what you want to do all the time. And right now you want to do this. Yeah. But my attack thoughts were like, but this is all I've ever wanted to do. I have to keep doing. And my intuition was like, hey, you can always go back to that. Right now you want to start this podcast. I'm like, every time I was being sent auditions, like, I would literally get annoyed because they took away from working on this and working on my book. And every time I was being sent that, I would litter, and like, it was like, you shouldn't, you're getting annoyed when you have, when you should be excited. You're getting annoyed when you have to do the work. That's listening to your attack thoughts to keep doing it.

It feels like Christmas. Dude. I love the holidays, and we're getting into that time of year. That's why right now it's 75 and sunny, but it was raining. And we decided to be in sweatsuits. It was raining. Oh, no, we did it again. We were like, what are we wearing? Actually, no. We just said what we were going to do. Yes, we just said what we were going to do. It was raining this morning. And it's October 3rd. I'm a guest on your podcast. And I was like, today is Living fall festive, so sweatpants. I don't remember what I was saying. Oh, yeah, last thing about listening to intuition, as I stated previously, the thoughts that are attack thoughts are going to be rooted in fear and negativity and probably not make you feel very good. So that's one way, like you can kind of see if it's intuition or attack thoughts, where, like I said, intuition are from love and the groundedness. And it might, again, steer you in a direction that's scary and hard and that you don't really want to do, like you were saying with acting, but that in itself is not going to be a fearful thought or like a lack thought because the ego loves attack thoughts. The ego does not love intuition. And once you listen to your intuition, Even if you are making a decision that is going to result in creating more work for yourself in some way, you'll feel peace. You'll always feel relieved. No, you'll always feel relieved. You'll always feel peace. Like, it will be like, this feels right. Even if it's something like choosing to make a job change or, like, go to a school. Like, it's, you'll be like, this feels right. This is what I needed to do. And you'll feel relieved. Yeah, I was going to say, even in something is like emotionally charged as like a breakup. Obviously Things are really emotionally charged. It's not easy, but it's not going to be rooted in fear. It's going to be rooted in, like, a deeper knowing. You can still be sad about something and know it's the right decision. You can still, the right decision can make you really sad. Yeah. Like, that's definitely... For sure. Yeah. Like, I'm currently thinking about doing something. I'm currently thinking about doing something, we'll offline about what exactly it is. But I'm currently thinking about doing something and I know what the right decision is and I know what my intuition is telling me to do. So that's what I'm going to do. But I know it's going to cause some not great energy. Now I can't wait through your offline. Cover the lights. Not within myself. It's going to cause me to be on the receiving. Some not great energy. But if I... Let's not put that out there. But if I must not put that out there, but if I chose the decision that would create, if I chose to do the thing that would, you know, the danger is, and I think this is, and this applies to a lot of things at a whole. 

I'm wearing mismatched socks. Hopefully no one can see. No one looking at my socks. No, it makes you, that's so quirky. It's so quirky. I'm such a quirky girl. What can I say? Oh, my God.

No, this applies to, like, a lot bigger things. I am so fucking sick of keeping the peace. And listen, sometimes the peace needs to be kept. I won't lie. But I think when people get into the habit of keeping the peace way too much, they wound up allowing bad things to go on. And I say all the time that I'm so and sick of keeping the peace. Like, I just want to stand for something. Sometimes. Yeah. I mean, when you keep the peace, you're basically putting, not always, but external people's needs and feelings above your own. Because if you really have a problem with something or you don't want to do something, you're basically saying, I care more about these other people than I do myself. So external harmony versus internal harmony. And like, no. Yeah. And I'm not encouraging you to always be reactive and always have a reaction. There are some moments where it's definitely fine to keep the peace. For example, at family holidays, I'm going to tell my family not to listen to, oh, no, to the sex episode. Hi, Mom. This isn't the sex episode, so I forgot that. Okay, so family. All right, family, you have to hear this. At family holidays, sometimes when, like, political things have been brought up, my mom knows how I can be. So she's literally peace at a family holiday. It's like... Yeah, no, again, there's a time in place for everything. Choose your battles. Sometimes it might make things more difficult for you, but we all have those boundaries and thresholds that we decide on. You don't always need to be right about everything. Right. Or you don't always need to get everybody to agree with you. You don't need to always get everyone to agree with you, one, and then I want to edit that something. Well, We don't always need to be right about everything. But, like, you're allowed to be wrong about stuff. But also, you don't need to prove to everyone that you're right about things, which I'm trying to get better at. Because sometimes when I'm right about something and no one's, like, agree, I just want to, like, campaign. Like, here are the facts, I'm right. But you have to get better at just like, you don't need to prove to everyone that you're right. Yeah. Let other people, everyone's entitled to their own wrong opinion. That's a quote. Put that on a pillow. Everyone's a title to their own wrong opinion. I didn't, I forget where that's from, but that, but, but. That's not a Gabriela trademark. I wish it was a Gabriella trademark. It's from something like 20 years ago. I feel like this, statute of limitation has passed. Yeah, it's yours now. Yeah, it's mine now. Everyone's entitled to their own wrong opinion. For the first time. I believe actually, I believe actually the quote is you're entitled to your own wrong opinion. So everyone's entitled to their own made it our own. It's my. Yeah. No, I agree. Everyone is entitled to their own wrong opinion. Listen, I, yeah. I feel like I'm pretty good at this. I thought of something, but I purposely not saying it to keep the peace. Not with you. Not with you, but with listeners. What are we? Don't know. That's a good question. I have no idea. Okay. The people pleasing vibe of, of... Hey, man, this is your show. I'm just along for the ride. I mean, we did a great conversation. 

Take me home. What do you want to go from here? Take me home, One Direction. Their second album. You know what? The formation of One Direction was intuition. Let me tell you, the formation of One Direction was intuition. I have no idea about this. into the live show? No, they were all as individual. Like, they auditioned separately. Oh. Wait, what? Oh my God, do you not know? No, I don't know. Okay, One Direction Formation was about intuition. So they all auditioned. They are a manufactured boy band. Who are better than the Beatles. I said it. People are going to come from... Lots of controversial opinions here. People are going through it. But so they're all from Niall’s from Ireland, the other four of them, Harry, Louis, Liam, Niall. Louis, Liam, Niall, Zayn are all from various parts of England. They all auditioned separately as solo acts. They all made it to boot camp, which I, to be quite honest, don't know how, because you watched some of those audition videos back and like, don't get me wrong, Zayn and Liam should have gone to boot camp. And Niall, Louis, absolutely not. Harry, I don't want to say he shouldn't have gone to boot. It was very mid. It was very mid. It was very mid. You knew he wasn't making it to the live show as a solo act. That's what I'll say. So they all went to boot camp. They all got sent home individually. And as they're leaving, Simon Cowell says that he made the decision in about 10 minutes. Really, really, the full formation video was leaked. Nicole

Shearzinger of the Pussy Cat Dolls. It was intuition. Interesting. It was intuition. One Direction was intuition. She was like, I think we should. Sometimes it just feels right. Sometimes it just feels right. And listen, that felt fucking right. Felt real good. That felt real good for a lot of people. A lot of, a lot of people. But one direction was saying. One direction was formed by intuition. A woman's intuition. Nicole Ain't nothing like woman's intuition. Ain’t nothing like woman's intuition. And then Simon Cowell tried to take credit for it. Yeah, well. Just another man trying to take credit for women's intuition. Just another man trying to take credit. I'm kidding. I do love men. It's going to get that out there. Not trying to hate on men. Men are great. Gabriella has nothing to say about that. I will adjust my... my sweatshirt a little bit. We won't even do what he says. Okay. All the people who are listening to it record this on the day, Taylor says... It was actually mine and I didn't even know. It was serendipitous, if I will say so. It was serendipitous that today I have the support of Queen Taylor. Her last one. For a bit, for a bit. I didn't even know a new album was coming out. Yeah, I said it. I said it. You're allowed, but But you're allowed to say that. You're allowed to say that. Because I also think she only announced it like a month ago. But this is going to be her last one for like a few years. I was at pickleball last night. And some of my friends were like, we have to go listen. I was like, listen to what? And they were like, we're all sitting down and we're listening to Taylor Swift's new album. And as someone who's not privy to Taylor Swift News, that felt so weird. But apparently it's not a weird thing. Yeah, no. I have two movie tickets to, like, there's like a whole little party that they're having at the movies. It's like, I don't know what exactly it is on Sunday. Dang. I have no one to bring with me. So I have two tickets and I have no one to bring. And I'm just like… And I feel like that's such, because it's only three days. So, like, the amount of theaters and the amount of tickets sold are quite limited. So I feel like to have one that's not filled is incredibly... I feel like to throw my hat in the ring after I just said, yeah, I don't know anything about Taylor Swift is just messed up. I mean, no. That's so funny, though. What even is it? It's a part... Well, it's like a party, they call it. It's going to be like... What are you? Why is it a theater? If you want to come, it's going to be like a series of music videos, I believe, for her entire album. And it's like, supposed to be a party. No. How'd you get tickets? The internet? Oh, you like bought them? Yeah. I mean, they were only like 20 bucks. It wasn't like, it's a movie theater ticket. Anyone out there like Taylor Swift, this isn't going to be live by then? No, no, this isn't going to be live by then. 

Can you give me an example of one time that you have listened to your intuition and one time that you haven't? And like, what time there was... I want to talk a little bit about the times we haven't and it's gone fucking terrible. Well, I think I did give an example earlier about when I did. I don't know. I want to say like three dates. And for me, personally, if you get past the first date, it's a pretty good sign. Like, I would say it's like 80 % do not. Just because I can very much tell if I'm into somebody or not. Oh, please. I just, if you get past the first date, that's such a win. I just had my first hinge date make it past the first day. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. And he's the first to, I've had like, I don't know how many hinge dates. I've probably seen like... Hundreds! Twenty, no. No, I've probably gone on first hinge dates with like probably 15 people in between 15 and 20 over years. Like since I was, my first hinge date was when I was 22 or 23. So since then, I probably got on like 15 to 20. I'm 27 now. And this is the first person to make it past the first. And I had something on my profile about like making it past the first. And I had something on my profile about like Intuition, at a time where you didn't listen to your intuition. So I feel like I've had this in most relationships. I just bring this up because I feel like it's the hardest to listen to intuition when you're really emotionally invested in connections. They're hard to let go. In this Pacific example, we had like two dates or three, whatever. They were good. And I was just, it was fun. I wasn't like, wow, I think I'm going to like marry this person. But I was like having a good time, enjoying it, all positive signs. And I woke up after a third date the next day. Huh? Like, this is kind of fun. Like, what the heck? Like, I, you know, and for me, like, I don't, my time is really valuable. I don't, I don't even want to call it a waste of time because I think every relationship and connection you learn from. But I was like, interesting. Like, I, okay, like, that's weird because everything, like, seemed to be going so well. I tried to logic my way out of it. And I was like, well, there's no harm in, like, still seeing them. Even if I know that, you know, like, I'm trying to, I'm basically not trying to listen. I didn't listen. And nothing, like, terrible happened, but, like, it definitely was a dramatic ending when I finally did. More dramatic than it would have been if I would have just done it then. Just done it there. Definitely, like, I was in some turmoil. Like, he didn't react, like, super well. Like, again, nothing crazy people have had much worse. So I feel lucky. But it caused me, like, pain in some way that would not have happened if I would have listened. And then in my most recent relationship, I also had a point where he's great, great guy. External factors kind of, like, affected things. And I was, like, meditating and just not even about that, just in general. And I had such another clear sense where it was like, he's not for you right now. Or in general, like, he's not for you. He's, like, doing everything he can. This is not about you. But, like, you have to let him go. It was, like, basically, like, let him go. Yeah. It's not about you. Yeah. And I did not want to do that. I really didn't. I was like, wait, come again? Like, are we sure, though? Like, are we positive? Yeah. And I for sure didn't, like, in the time between when we actually, like, broke up versus that, probably, like, a month and a half, two months, which isn't a super long time, but, like, substantial, I would say, because... Where you tried to. It's not our choice either. Like, the other person will end it. And it's like, almost like, okay, well, at least, like, now I'm forced to listen, you know, whether I was the one that did that or not. But, yeah, so in this example, I had the very strong sense of, like, it is not you. It's not about you, but you have to let him go. Sure. But, like, and I didn't want to let him go. Because he's great. But, yeah, I would have saved myself a lot of just like feeling bad for no reason if I would have listened to that earlier. And it was such like a pivotal moment. Like I wrote it down. And then I went back on it like months later after we'd broken up and I was like, I knew in this point. And again, I needed to like go through those months, whatever. Like they all happened for a reason. I'm happy that it did ultimately. But I was like, wow, what would it be like if when I have these inclinations, and I feel this strong intuitive voice. If I just listened, then it's hard, again, right? Like, that's what I was saying before. I would say the ultimate goal with intuition is to decrease the amount of time between your

intuition and action. Yeah. Your time's like out here. It's like, okay, whatever. We're all going through it. We're learning. But like, what if it were like instant. Yeah. Or what if it were like a day or two days instead of months or years or however or never listening? Never listening. That's my goal with myself personally because it is scary because again, oftentimes it's not always like, I want to do this thing and my intuition's backing me up. So I'm going to do it. It's like I don't want to do this or I'm scared to do this or this is going to be hard in some way. It's not usually easy. It's not usually easy to listen to your intuition. Sure. Because people a lot of times, like, think you're fucking crazy. And then I love being proof, right? You know it's going to cause some other sort of trauma, which, like, we're human. Like, we're here to feel the full, full circle of emotion.

Exactly. Exactly. I mean, I am, I don't want to say I'm in the middle because I kind of am. But somebody recently, just also using the guy example, then we'll stop using the dating example. Well, I think it's relevant to people. But someone recently, yeah, it's relevant to people. Where I was like, there's all these good qualities is about X, Y, Z. And, like, I really, really, really, really do like him. And someone said to me that I was talking to, they were like, but do you like this? Like, do you like, like, fuck the person. not actually fuck the person, but like for actually fuck the person. No, but forget the person. Do you like the facts of the play? Do you like the facts of the play? And I was like, oh, oh. You? It was a usage or something? Oh, whatever. It doesn't matter. Okay, but yes, I know exactly what you mean. I mean, listen, dating is just, it's a good example because it's a really hard to listen to The thing with this podcast we have to be careful about is, and using boys as an example, is sometimes they're still around. I have only good things to say about everybody that I've been in. I have only lovely things to say. Like, I would hope they feel the same about me, but who knows? Yes, who knows? But yeah, no, those are my examples. Obviously, I could think of more, but those were probably the most recent.

What about you? For the think of an example, that link that I haven't listened to intuition.

There are many. There are many. Plenty, probably. There are probably plenty. You can even probably poke. Well, I gave the example about how this podcast was bored out of listening to my intuition. What about when you didn't listen and like what I just explained where you didn't listen and then obviously things to happen anyway and then you're like, okay, well, I knew that. I wish I would have done this. and you just know that there's more or there's like something you want to try or pursue and you're feeling nudged, that's also really scary. Like when money's involved, when emotions are all that high stakes for people. And you kind of have two options, like to listen to that or to not. And to me, it's really scary to not listen. Like if you're going to ignore your intuition in those ways, your life can like drastically different than what it might have looked like if you were in touch with your intuition. And for me, it's like, I never want to go down that road where I'm like so far deep and not listening that it feels impossible to get to the other side of it. Like, I think for work, again, fulfillment, that's a big one. And it's scary. It's so scary. It's so scary. But just come back to times I haven't listened, I can think of so many times where I've just been like, what the fuck did I say yes to this? And like you're, and I mean like something small, like going some, like going to a dinner or like going just something really small. Where like, where you're just like, I didn't want to say yes to this. Why? Why did I say yes to this? I am such an extroverted extrovert and part of protecting my piece is like... Extroverted, extrovert? I'm an extroverted extrovert. What's that mean? Isn't that just an extrovert? No. So extroverted extrovert, introverted extrovert, extroverted introvert. I thought you were, sorry, I thought you

were having like a typo. No, so extroverts get their energy off of people. Introverts get their energy like being alone, recharging. And then an extroverted extrovert is like they get their energy off of other people and also when they're their main character. going out, but when they're out, they're not the one that, the conversation is always them. They're not, they're just there to have a good time. They're chill. All right. I'll just, I'll agree with you. I'm trying to think of an example of like an introvert, extrovert. I mean, I feel like I might be that, but bitch, I'm new character too, so I don't know what you're saying, and I'm not what you're saying. Well, that's what I'm saying. Extroverted, extroverts, I'll think they're the main character. Now, some, That thought is correct, but some that thought is grossly wrong. So, Gabriella is an extrovert. Let's move on with the story. Pick me girl. Pick me girls tend to be extroverted extroverts. Okay, I see that. Yeah. If that, if that, if that makes that, no, but like. What do you think I am? I think you are if I had to, well, you do like being around people, but you also like your time to like yourself. That's what I'm saying. I think, I think, I would say, yeah, I have no idea. I don't know if I would say an extroverted introvert who's great at protecting their energy. No, and I don't know if I would say an extroverted introvert or an extroverted extrovert who's great at protecting their energy because they're really good at protecting her energy. Yeah, I've gotten there. This is what I was going to say about intuition. We can go back now, Nick. is I'm an introverted introvert. So I used to be like, you asked me to do something, I was there. Even if it was something that I didn't necessarily want to go to. Yeah, I such bad fomo. Like, I such bad fomo. Listening to your intuition is getting rid of fomo. It's deciding, it's learning how to protect her energy. It is learning how to, like, now I've gotten so much better about like when I'm asked to go to certain things or sometimes I'll be talking to my mom and I'm like, yeah, I don't really have plans this weekend. She's like, why don't you do this? Or why don't you do that? Or why don't you do this? Or go here or go there or do this thing. And I'm like, and I've been like really thought about it. And it's I know I'm an extrovert, extrovert, but there have been times where I'm like lately protecting my energy where I'm like, I would honestly be happier sitting at home by myself and making progress working on my book than going to that thing. Yeah, I feel that way a lot where I'm like, I would honestly rather do nothing than do that. Like, I just don't want to. 

And you don't even have to justify. That's the thing. Like intuition also, you can't justify it. One, because like half the time, it's not logical. It won't make sense anyone else. Also, you shouldn't have to try. I think we often, like, look for explanations from people, which is fair. But in some circumstances, it's just I'm not doing this or I'm doing this or I'm ending things with this guy or I'm leaving this job. And it's like, there's not a whole list of like why. It's like because I want to. I want to. And like I know that that's what's best for me. Yeah. End of story. Like we are so used to having to like justify and convince others not even because they have that intentions, but that's just how we are as a society that I feel like just making a decision without any explanation is very rare. Yeah. Someone recently said to me, by recently, I mean like literally a few hours ago. They said, like this wording, after battleground. Me? Yeah, after battleground. After battleground, they said they're currently taking a class they were talking about on like emotional intelligence. And they were talking about how when you over -explain yourself and you over -justify, decision. I 100 % agree. Yeah. And that's a really, really good point. Yeah. I think I, I mean, again, I keep saying as women, because I am a woman. So it's like the only thing I can draw from, but I know that we do that a lot. But also women just have crazy strong intuition. We do. I'm just saying we also justify a lot, I think. Women just have, just know. We know and we're taught not to know. We just know. We just know. We just know. We just know. We do We do. And we're taught not to trust it. But anyway, trust your intuition. So often with our intuition and like the issue and how we've talked about not listening to outside pressure and like how you can get outside pressure, what are tips you have for staying strong in your decision amidst outside pressure because you sometimes might find you either finally make the decision and you still have people telling you that's the wrong decision or you just leading up to it have to get the courage to make the decision amidst outside pressure who are all like this is bad fucking idea what are you doing okay I have a lot of thoughts um I would say the first thing is like it's a muscle right the more you listen and the more you do, the better track record you'll have. So as you build that up and you were able to prove it to yourself, the outside voices won't phase you as much because you'll say, okay, when I listen to my intuition and XYZ drink, it worked out. Or when I listened to my intuition in this situation, it was fine and people were telling me. So you kind of just, there you kind of just learn to trust yourself more. And like there's no shortcut to trusting yourself. You just have to do it. I wish that there was a shortcut. There's no shortcut to trusting yourself. You just have to do it. I like that a lot. I said that. Yeah. Put that on the sweatshirt with your other saying. No, but with your everyone's attached to their own wrong decisions. Yeah. I would also say it's kind of ties back to like who you have in your inner circle and who you allow to like give input. Well, it'll be even more. very important who you have around you in situations like that. Always remember that everyone's on their own journey and sometimes people need to figure them every, sometimes people need to figure them out for, fit things out for themselves. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you blatantly know that they're making the wrong decision. Everyone's on their own journey and they need to figure it out for themselves. So like let them do that. We like to learn. Unless someone is going to make an insanely unsafe decision that you're like, no, do not make, obviously stop. With caveats and all of this. Yeah, obviously there are caveats to that. But like, always remind yourself everyone's on their own decision and everyone's on their own journey. Yeah. I would also lastly say that they're entitled to the wrong opinion. They are entitled to the wrong opinion. I would say also that this kind of goes back to people pleasing or what we were talking about, but you have to decide, like, do you value the input of others more than you value your own input? Like, where do you stand on that hierarchy? If you trust yourself and you're really sperm in that or you even want to get to that point, like, because most of us aren't there yet, but if I'm saying, you know what, I want to trust myself over other people, like, I want to be the voice that I listen to regardless of how well -intentioned others are. I'm number one. Then, like, you have to remember that. And those outside voices, like, they're going to be ranked below that. and you think that people's response is going to be way worse than it. A lot of times people just don't care. Yeah. And I think also sometimes if a situation is bad enough, which I hope it doesn't get there for somebody, but if it is bad enough, it won't matter what people say. Because you will say, you know what, this is not right for me. This is not it. And I know that this is not it. And I've gotten to the breaking point and I'm making this choice. And I've been there too. Yeah. And it's just, it's like nobody else is experiencing what you're experiencing? Who are they to tell you? Exactly. No one else is living your life. It's your, we are all the main characters of our own story. We are not the main characters of other people's stories. We're all the extroverted extroverts of our own story. We're

all the extroverted extroverts of our own story. Exactly. Yeah. That's what I would say to that. Yeah. So it's like, mic drop. How would you know you're not me? I wouldn't. Yeah. That's why I think... What we're going to offline about slightly has to do with that. Well, what I was going to say with coaching, too, a lot of times people come to me, they're like, are you going to tell me exactly what to do to fix my life? No. And I'm like, no. I'm going to ask you a lot of questions that

we're going to go through together and make you really think about it. Oh, my God. I'm not you. It's so fucking annoying. You said this to me. You're like, hey, just tell me, though. Hey, girl, just tell me. I'm like... She gets me there. And then I'm like, well, what would you? And you're like, not another question. She got to be there. And I've had a lot of breakthroughs. Yeah, you have. I've had a lot of breakthroughs. Who am I to tell you? Yeah. I'm not you. Also, it's like not powerful if it comes from me just telling you and you following marching orders. That's not how change happens. Yeah, it's, it's, and that's also practice in getting better at trusting. If you're trying to get better at trusting yourself, then your opinion takes priority. Your own opinion about yourself takes priority. Right. Nobody's going to tell you, nobody's going to give you that blueprint. That's easy. And that's not how things go. It's so much more rewarding and powerful. And you'll be able to do it again in other situations if you come to those conclusions on your own and make those choices. Yeah. Now, if your intuition is telling you to intentionally hurt another person, don't do that. Again, all of this, all of this is generally speaking. All this is generally speaking. I trust everybody to know. Generally, generally speaking. And that's actually probably an attack thought because your intuition is always grounded in love. So I would never tell you to hurt. Yeah, guys.Unless it's self -defense. But we're not going to go there. We're not going to go there. We're not going to go there. 

Okay, my last question. I didn't give you this to think about in advance because I kind of wanted to put you on the spot. We're continuing the same thing from last season where recommend something, recommend a piece of content, a book, a stand -of -show, a quote that I was talking about. Yeah. Okay, I want to make sure I say this right. You can recommend whatever you want. Okay. My friend and I were having a conversation about this the other day, and it just, it's one of my favorite quotes, and I just feel like it's really, “You're not going to get what you deserve. You're going to get what you allow.” You definitely don't. Yeah, that's definitely tied into intuition. We don't get what we deserve. We get what we allow. Andre's intuition. All that good stuff. Thank you. I wish I could say that I made that up, but I don't think I did. That's beautiful. That's a great. I think about that a lot. I love that. Thanks. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's almost like I do this for people. It's like weird. It's weird. It's almost like you're a life. Almost like, yeah. Wouldn't that be crazy? I know. That'd be insane. Anyway, before we go, tell the people where they can find you. You can find me. I don't know why that sounded so funny to me. Where can you find me? You can contact me with my email on the show notes. Gabrielle will put that in there. And you can also find me on Instagram at Ever After with Dom. And probably walking around at your local pickleball court. Gabriella rebranded on TikTok at Gabriella rebranded. Kind of making some progress on the TikTok, which is cool. We're going, other than that, I'm on YouTube if you're listening and you want to watch instead. I'm on all the street. We're hot. You should want to watch. You should want to watch. We are an attractive bunch. But other than that, guys, this has been Gabriella rebranded, win most, lose some. And if you guys have any topics you would like to see me cover in an episode, All right, guys, thank you so much and goodbye. Bye.