Ep 24 l Perks of a Mental Disability

Mental disability accommodations for TBI’s include extra fast passes, private sections at events, escorts, jury duty exemption - and that’s only the literal! The theoretical? Even better!

Bit of a hot take today, but in the spirit of the holiday season, we are in celebration mode. If I’m going to celebrate every part of myself, that includes my disability.

Life has no room for regret. Regret is nothing… but a waste of energy. I love my brain, I’m not in the business of spending every day sobbing about my reduction in brain cells. Rather, I’m in the business of ethically cutting the line at Disneyland.

Win most, lose some.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:15 Happy Holidays!
• 2:14 A Mental Disability Comes w/ Perks
• 3:40 Jury Duty
• 5:14 Handicapped Parking
• 6:15 Pre-boarding
• 7:48 Airport Escorts
• 9:17 Fast Passes
• 10:12 Concerts & Movies
• 12:21 Making Mamma Proud
• 13:41 Infinite Excuses

Transcript

Anything that I don't want to do or go to, any place I don't want to be, anything that I'm not feeling, I always have an out. I always have an out.

I just say, “I don't think that'd be good for my head,” or, “My head's not feeling good today.” And who's going to fight me on that? Who's going to double down on the fact that it can't possibly be my head that's giving me problems? Who's going to insist that, hmm?

Almost dying taught me how to live. Being struck by a car left me in a three-and-a-half-week coma with 15 broken bones and 16 surgeries to complete, including brain surgery. However, I woke up from that coma in an even greater place than I ever foresaw for myself. How? The universe will guide you out of the darkness and into the light if you allow it.

Often, spirituality comes off as too highbrow. I'm not about that. Welcome to the podcast that talks and teaches about it through the lens of humor. Together, we'll harness positive energy and use it to work with the universe, all while giggling the entire time.

Welcome to Gabriella Rebranded, Win Most, Lose Some.

Hello, everyone. If you celebrate Hanukkah, happy Hanukkah. If you celebrate Christmas, I hope you're having a very joyous holiday season and looking forward to the big day. If you celebrate neither, it's the happiest time of year—I just hope you're in a good mood and having a good time this time of year.

December is typically my favorite month annually, sans December 2020. That was the worst month of my life to date. Don't want to jinx that, but hopefully it's not getting worse than December 2020 because, to this very date, to this very exact moment in time, December 2020 is the worst month of my life.

So this is going to be a quick episode. The holidays are such a busy time. I don't want to take up too much of yours. So first, let's get the homework out of the way: subscribe, review, follow. Sign up for my newsletter, gabriellarebranded.com. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok at @gabriellarebranded.

Okay, we're done with that.

This time of year is about celebration and happiness and love, and regret is just a waste of energy. We learn from all our experiences, and we take that knowledge and move productively forward in the future, knowing what we have learned. Even if something feels or seems really, really bad at first, everything in life happens for you. There is something that can be taken, and it's all going according to plan exactly the way that it's supposed to go.

So, with that said—and a little bit of a hot and controversial take, this episode is—but listen, it's not that long, and you'll come with me and you'll see what I mean.

Okay.

This episode is about the perks of a disability, because there are some. There are a lot of perks of having a mental disability, and I know you probably don't believe me. Listen to this fucking episode.

So here I'm going to talk specifically about mental disabilities, as that is what I have. Some of what I am going to say does apply to physical disabilities, but I have the lived experience of having a mental disability, so I can't speak to all the ins and outs of physical disabilities, unfortunately. So what I'm going to say is: these are the perks of having a mental disability, and I'll try to clarify which ones also apply to physical.

All right. So right off the bat, we're going to start with the number one that I think everyone will agree is such a fucking perk:

I never have to do jury duty. Never.

They don't want me on no jury. They don't want a brain-injured bitch sitting on a jury. No one wants a brain-injured bitch deciding if you get the electric chair or not. I actually think it's lethal injection now, but regardless, who cares about that? No one wants someone with a mental disability deciding if you are going to get any legal consequences for your actions.

So I get to skrt that supposed-to-be civilian requirement. Not for me. Not in my personal timeline. Not for those of us with mental disabilities.

And I know, like, sometimes, yeah, the case can be interesting, but newsflash: most cases that go to trial are not the Menendez brothers or the Murdaugh murders. Most likely, when you're on jury duty, it's a contract dispute or some complaint against the city, which there are ample of in every city. And guess what? Those tend to be a little boring.

So all jury duty is, is missing work—therefore accumulating more work that you're going to have to do later in life—and just having to have a sledgehammer taken to your daily schedule to sit in a room while people argue about stuff you don't care about, all right?

Well, shout-out to my lack of a thousand brain cells. I don't have to do that. Fuck you.

All right, this one is a really close second best:

Handicap parking pass.

With that thing, I am unstoppable, okay? And it absolutely is necessary. If you listen to my podcast episode with my physiatrist, Dr. Seth Herman, he brings up—not even me—he brings up that one of the places I get the most overwhelmed and the most upset is an overcrowded, busy, problematic parking lot, okay? And no one wants me driving whilst spiraling, okay? That would be a grossly ironic, not-in-a-fun-way situation if the girl who was hit by a car hit someone else with her car.

But thanks to my handicap parking pass, that is significantly more unlikely. Not completely unlikely, because never say never, but significantly more unlikely. And most of the time, the parking lot isn't busy and crowded and problematic, so most of the time I just never struggle to find a parking spot.

And also a really, really good perk:

Have you ever flown on a plane with someone who has a disability?

No? It’s amazing.

We are the very first in pre-boarding, okay? We, we, we: very first in pre-boarding. We are the first ones on the damn plane. This applies to physical disabilities as well, and so does the handicap parking. But we are the first ones on that thing.

Before first class, okay? Fuck your first-class ticket. The girl with the disability is beating you, all right? And we even get to go before the families with small children. The disabled children go first.

And there's a very good reason for this one, too. My claustrophobia is really, really bad. Everyone who knows me has seen it live in action when I'm in a cramped, crowded, claustrophobic place. It's not good. I don't handle it well. I get very overwhelmed.

So how the airlines cater to that is: they let me board the plane before everyone else. So, scramble for overhead space? I do not have to do. I always get overhead space right where my seat is. I will never have to stand on a plane while boarding with a ton of other people hitting you with their luggage and breathing down your neck and making it all uncomfortable.

No. By the point that that's all happening, I'm already seated and very happy in my seat and very content with my ideal overhead space spot.

And I've only done this like once before, when I landed at the Denver airport—which is a huge airport—and I was going by myself. But do you want an escort throughout the entire airport? Because that is something that disabilities get too—physical and mental. We get escorts through the airport if we want them.

I haven't requested one except for the time that I was in Denver, but if I wanted to, I could. And guess what? These escorts through the airport also come with a wheelchair, even if you present like me and you're like, “I promise you I can walk.” They want you to sit in the wheelchair. It's like, I don't know, legal stuff. They want you in that damn wheelchair.

So if I wanted to, I could just be like, “Hey, bring out that wheelchair, let me go on.” I won't do that because I don't need it. I've got two legs and they're perfectly great. And the reason why these luxuries—they're not luxuries, we have disabilities—but the reason why these so-called luxuries exist for the disabled population is because we need them. I don't really need the wheelchair, so I'm fine walking.

However, when I landed at the Denver airport by myself—and it was huge, my parents were very… and I was also less than 18 months out from my injury, I want to clarify. I was less than 18 months out from my injury. And Denver—I don't know if you've ever been to that airport—but it's fucking big. My parents were really nervous, so they had me get the escort and it was dope. I won't lie. It was a really good time.

Want to cut the line at Disney World or Six Flags? Go with someone who has a disability. Fuck your Fast Pass. Disability pass is absolutely elite.

Now, can I ride all the rides? No. But lots of people who do have certain disabilities can ride all the rides, and for me, I just have a good time when I go. And some of the rides I can ride, and those that I can ride—no line for me.

And then, you know, the people that I'm with, I get them to the front of Tower of Terror and then I'm like, “All right, you guys have fun. I can't go on this, but you know…” Still, it's still a great thing in theory that we disability-pass to the front of the line. And again, I can go on some rides, and the rides that I can go on—no line for me. Fuck your Fast Pass. It is illegitimate in comparison to a disability pass.

Have you ever watched a concert or seen a movie from the disability section? Best view in the house. Best experience ever, okay? It's never overcrowded at concerts, all right? There's room to breathe, it never gets too hot, you can dance freely. Your movie view is always unobstructed, and your concert view as well. Always an unobstructed view. You've got ample space. Everything's comfortable.

And then, you know, it's there so that in case the tinnitus starts pounding or the overstimulation starts overstimulating—which yes, has happened to me at concerts—you can make a speedy exit, all right? That's why it exists. It's fucking awesome.

Now yes, some of these seats are specifically for people that are handicapped in wheelchairs, but there are seats that are put aside for people with just disabilities in general. Shout-out me.

Oh, and are you ever worried about your favorite concert selling out? Not if you have a disability, okay? When the tickets go on sale, you just dial the specific number of the ticket office for the handicap section and you say, “I would like two tickets, please,” and they get them to you. It's brilliant. I've done it for Harry Styles. It's absolutely incredible.

And one time at a different Harry Styles show, I left my shirt that I purchased. I got a merch shirt and I left it in the venue, and then I left. And obviously that correlates directly to my greatest magnitude of deficiency, which is in visual space. It's fucking big, all right? Shout-out lack of brain cells.

And these two are less explicit and more general, okay. So due to my disability—my brain injury, my mental disability—people, my parents especially, but people in general, are so proud of me for doing the bare minimum.

Because I needed handholding and I had so much trouble doing certain specific tasks for so long, now when I do the bare minimum of things, people are astounded by me.

My credit card had fraud on it, and by myself I canceled the card and bought a new one. My dad was astonished. He thought I was an ingenious, impeccable stud. Me, the 27-year-old college-educated woman, canceling a credit card and ordering a new one by herself. Like, I got praised for weeks.

Another time, my tire blew. I found a place to replace the tire and handled that entire issue by myself. Like, I found a spot, I went there, I handled it. My mom almost started crying. She was so amazed, so blown away by how much I've grown.

The bare minimum.

My ego is always being stroked, okay? It's never not being stroked. I put forth just like a moderate amount of effort and it's all applause, all around for me.

And then the second thing that is less explicit but just a general, fucking fantastic thing:

Anything that I don't want to do or go to, any place I don't want to be, anything that I'm not feeling, I always have an out. I always have an out.

I just say, “I don't think that'd be good for my head,” or, “My head's not feeling good today.” And who's going to fight me on that? Who's going to double down on the fact that it can't possibly be my head that's giving me problems? Who? Who's going to insist that?

If I say that I'm not sure if something's going to be a little too overwhelming for me, who's going to fucking argue with that? A sadist? A narcissistic bigot? Yes, that too. And do you want to be labeled that? Do you want to be labeled one of those things? I did not think so.

So I always have an out. And as someone once said to me, when—because of a very legitimate deficiency—I was having trouble and could not do something:

I have earned the fucking right to always play the brain injury card, okay?

I will keep playing the damn brain injury card forever. It's legitimate, and no one's going to fucking fight me on it. And I always have an out. Two and a half years of surgeries have earned me the goddamn fucking right to not go to any place I don't feel like going to. That's just how the cookie crumbles.

Merry fucking Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. I hope you all have a blessed holiday season.

This has been Gabriella Rebranded, Win Most, Lose Some—lost some several thousand brain cells, so one: pre-boarding. You'll lose to me every time, first class, okay? Fuck you.

The coma was a fair trade-off to beat you all in pre-boarding. Well actually, it wasn't. It was still a very unfair trade-off—but unfair to me, not unfair to you. You get the point.

Okay. This is Win Most, Lose Some.

Okay, bye!