EP 07: From Grief to Growth - Unveiling the Healing Power of Permaculture with Dylan Wilbar

The mind. The body. The soil.

What if I told you that healing your body, your thoughts, and your life has a lot in common with composting? In today's episode, I sit down with my friend Dylan Wilbar, a regenerative agriculture specialist, to talk about permaculture, sustainability, and healing from the ground up—literally.

We dive into sustainability, grief, and the power of compost—both in the soil and in our own personal growth. Dylan shares his journey of loss, healing, and resilience, along with the small and slow changes that led to transformation. This episode is all about connection—to the earth, to ourselves, and to the community around us.

🌿 What is permaculture, really?
🌿 How composting is the ultimate metaphor for healing
🌿 The connection between our body, mind, and the environment
🌿 How to start small, build momentum, and create lasting change

This one is a wake-up call in the best way. Grab your coffee and let’s chat!

🎧 Listen now & don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe!

Connect with Dylan Wilbar HERE

Connect with Carly Schade HERE

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Transcript

0:00:00 Carly: Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Coffee with Carly Today. Well, every guest that I have is very special, especially these first early ones. Some very near and dear people in my life reaching out to my network. So this guest, I also go very way, way back, way back with this guest. We’ve gone through a lot together. And today’s episode, we are interviewing Dylan Wilbur. So Dylan’s first love was tourism as an international guide working all over the world, including Nicaragua, Tanzania, Thailand, Hawaii.

0:00:34 Carly: His travels eventually led him to a new love in agriculture. And Dylan recently graduated with a master’s of arts in global sustainability, agritourism and permaculture design, and now lives in Florida working as a regenerative agriculture specialist, as well as a couple other things that we’ll dive into. So I’m very excited. Welcome to the podcast, Dylan.

0:00:59 Dylan: Yeah, I’m very excited, too. Thank you so much for having me.

0:01:02 Carly: Okay, so I want to dive right into it. Let’s first talk about, you know, I haven’t seen you in a while, so we’ll catch up on, like, kind of where you are. But what does global sustainability, agritourism, permaculture design, what does that mean? We’re gonna. I want you to really walk me through. Like, I’m gonna ask the dumb questions, right? Like, I had never really heard of the term permaculture.

0:01:26 Carly: So, like, what. What did you study? Like, what does really any of that mean?

0:01:31 Dylan: Absolutely. So global sustainability is very broad subject, and a lot of things fall within it. And my concentration was in sustainable tourism. And the specialty in sustainable tourism I focused on is agritourism. And agritourism is essentially any type of travel that brings people to a farm. And it’s connected to sustainability because it’s builds a relationship between people and where their food comes from.

0:01:58 Dylan: It gets them outside, learning, smelling, and really experiencing the environment. And a lot of the work that I do at the farm is focused around education, because at the root of sustainability, everyone can agree that it’s nice, but what does it actually look like? And how does it actually feel? And how do you expect people to want to protect the environment if they don’t know anything about it? So agritourism is essentially just bringing people to the place where their food comes from, because that’s one of the quickest and most efficient ways for people to really start to build a relationship with the environment and understand its ecological value.

0:02:32 Dylan: And on the other hand, permaculture is almost like a lens for people to see the world through. It’s broken down as a permanent culture, like a permanent way for humans to interact with the environment that doesn’t compromise the environment’s way to exist. There will be a coexistent or harmonization between people in the world around us. How we source our food, how we source our water, how we manage our waste and how we produce our energy.

0:02:59 Carly: Wow. So much we don’t know about the soil. Well, you said something interesting that I want to come back to about permaculture and kind of this lens of viewing life. But first let’s. How did you get into this? Like, this is something that it is funny, I think is so basic, right? Like coming back to growing our own food and soil and nature. Like so many of these things that are good for us in our life are basic things that we used to do and now we’re just trying to get back to.

0:03:33 Carly: But how, how did you first get into this? Because it is a quote unquote new thing for a lot of people.

0:03:40 Dylan: Yes, it’s. It’s an interesting time into history, isn’t it? But, but it first started with when I was an undergrad going on give trips and going to these beautiful places and learning about global citizenship and sustainability. And from there we started to want to make a student group and looking for ways to volunteer at the student group. And that’s where we found a farm. And I was up in Virginia in the Shenandoah Valley at James Madison University.

0:04:09 Dylan: And there was a little farm called vine and Fig or new community project at the time. And I fell in love with the place. And even if the student group wasn’t going, I found myself going there more. And I even did my final senior year sociological capstone on this project of how these people are existing as a small counterculture against like the city’s policies and things they have to navigate through.

0:04:33 Dylan: So the sociological aspect of it was so interesting. And before moving out of Virginia and coming down to Florida, I was asking these people, like, where do I find more places like this? And they told me it’s all based in this thing called permaculture. And then from there I just was. It was like my post undergrad study was learning about permaculture and going to farms and taking classes and doing things like woofing, like a work exchange program and working on farms all over. And you know, and I would make it fun and incorporate, you know, little surf trips in between.

0:05:05 Dylan: And it was. It’s been a magical ride. And permaculture has really restored my optimism for humanity. So it’s something I’m extremely grateful for.

0:05:15 Carly: So that’s what really you’ve been up to the last how many years? I guess, like I said, I haven’t seen you in a while. So that’s really been your focus these last couple years, or what have you been up to?

0:05:26 Dylan: Yeah, for the last few years was in the grad program, which started in 2022, and I was still working in gardens and in farms. I worked as a garden educator for a nonprofit that was focused in St. Petersburg around combating food insecurities and food deserts and just like bringing kids and getting their fingers into the soil. And that was really fun. And. But this continually, the more that you involve yourself in the environment and open your mind and observe, the more learning that’s going to happen. You know, you don’t necessarily need a teacher in a classroom. You just need to start experimenting, which is one of the principles of permaculture design is trial and error and continue working.

0:06:09 Carly: Okay, so let’s. Let’s dive into that permaculture piece, because from the little bit that I’ve done, you know, about a research is, and you’ve said it, permaculture is a way of life. It’s like a way of looking at life. It’s a lens. And from what I understand, a lot of these, I guess, lessons or like key points of permaculture can be applied to life. So what is. What are some of those key points of permaculture and how have you applied that to your life?

0:06:43 Dylan: Absolutely. So permaculture can be broken down many different ways. And it’s its core main philosophies are care for people and care for the earth and share and share the abundance. And the idea of permaculture is putting all the pieces in the right places to make the environment thrive and people. Permaculture really isn’t a new thing. It’s something that’s been existing for a long time because one of the core competencies is indigenous technique and indigenous people, how they would build their homes. You know, like the people I worked with in Thailand, how they would manage a flood plain between the mountain range and they would use it to grow rice and rice paddies. And I thought it was just about rice, but really what they were doing is they’re growing and producing a habitat for all the protein to pair with the rice, all the fish, all the crabs, the snakes, all the critters, everything in the rice paddy. It’s not just for the rice. It’s how to Control the water flow and how to produce an environment that then provides food.

0:07:45 Dylan: And that water flow can be used to source a hydropower and it can be used to produce food, and it can be used for enjoyment and relaxation as well. And so when you look at the world through this permaculture lens about how you can stack functions, it’s something that’s truly incredible. And it all is designed to harmonize people with the environment as opposed to dominating and destroying it. It’s a way for people and the world to exist together.

0:08:14 Dylan: And that’s this whole mindset of this togetherness and coexistion. You know, permaculture in itself is one big metaphor. And you can apply permaculture to, to the mind, body and spirit too, which has been a big, I think recently that’s been. My biggest teacher is learning the permaculture of the mind, body and spirit and how to properly take care and maintain your body as the temple that it is.

0:08:36 Carly: Ooh, the body is the temple for sure. So what, what does that mean? You know, it sounds like you started on this journey of learning about the soil and the garden permaculture, and then you’ve really realized that that’s our body, right? This mind, body, spirit you just alluded to what lessons or what journeys have you gone through with that?

0:09:01 Dylan: So as one progresses through a life, there’s bound to have things that have emotional triggering responses to us and traumas that ensue. And as you grow, it’s important to look towards the environment as it grows as well. And one thing that I’ve learned and changed my perception through permaculture is the process of decomposition or composting. And most people see it as a disgusting and stinky and kind of off putting situation.

0:09:27 Dylan: But the, what nature is doing is it’s taken all of the different waste materials, the things that are considered bad, and producing something fertile and healthy out of it. And which is something that you can also do with yourself. You know, when you, when you would make a mistake or you would end up in a bad situation and feel emotionally drained or hurt or fatigue, when whatever it may be, there is a way how to transform that so called weakness into something that empowers you.

0:09:55 Dylan: And by moving through this and practicing permaculture of the mind, you know, the mind is so special. You know, the amount of thoughts that we can have throughout a day can be either very beneficial or very detrimental. And for the ones that are not serving us and not providing a better, a better outlook or a Better attitude. These need to be left behind and composted, you know, and, and transformed and fully digested in the way that. The same way that the soil is a stomach digesting food and producing something that will grow again.

0:10:25 Dylan: And so by understanding this process, I can embody it within me as well and process that emotion, process that experience. And I’m alluding to healing essentially through, through the metaphor of decomposition. But now on the other side, you know, we’ve talked briefly about the summer of healing that I had and that was, that was the ultimate summer of decomposition and coming back to life, you know, but it’s not so comfortable in the moment.

0:10:56 Dylan: It gets very overwhelming. But what’s, what’s on the other side is just completely magical.

0:11:03 Carly: That’s. I love that like whenever I get so lost or, you know, and it doesn’t have to be this big thing just on a daily basis, like you said, letting nature be your guide. And it’s so. There are so many lessons in nature, right? Like it, it and we are nature. It just knows how to get back on track. You know, it’s like root verse rise, you know, putting your roots down and then the trees grow tall or that the trees actually in them bending and being flexible in the windstorm is actually what prevents them from breaking.

0:11:39 Carly: And I love this metaphor about compost, where these things that are quote unquote, like the icky or the gross or maybe the hurt or whatever we go through.

0:11:49 Dylan: Exactly.

0:11:50 Carly: It’s about rewriting our past almost. I think that when we change the meaning of situations and experiences in our life, we can change the outcome. So if you view compost or this thing that happened to you in your life as this gross, stinky, decaying thing that serves no purpose, that’s what it’s always going to be and your life is then going to continue to be that. But if we can see compost as this nutrient rich, amazing, life giving pile of wonderfulness, then we are going to alter our, our life in a different way.

0:12:32 Carly: And you know, talking about the power of the mind is like, we can all do this, we can all look back and have opinions on compost or things and experiences in our life and we get to change them. We get to decide today that I’m now going to view compost differently, I’m going to view this experience in my life differently and therefore I’m going to continue to progress differently. So you mentioned this summer of healing is. Do you have this like example or did you go through something?

0:13:00 Carly: What was that?

0:13:02 Dylan: Yeah, it really began with the sudden and tragic passing of my mother. That happened right before Christmas in 2023. And so that was right before my final semester to go into grad school. And I had this amazing research project set up where I was going to go to Thailand with GIVE volunteers, and I was going to help facilitate their responsible elephant tourism trip. And I was doing research on how responsible elephant tourism is a way to restore the native forest and combat deforestation and sequester carbon, reverse global warming, all these, like, great research ideas.

0:13:41 Dylan: And right when that happened, it was probably, like, two weeks before I was supposed to go, and I was in no way, shape or form. And that, in that mind, that. That time of thinking to be a leader for a group and to be responsible for the health and wellness of other people, you know, that was a time that I need to focus inward. And so that just put a big curveball in my. In my semester. But once again, as I was composting these experiences, I had a great opportunity to be an intern for Dr. Sylvia Earle. She’s the star from the Netflix movie Mission Blue.

0:14:16 Dylan: And she is just a powerhouse of feminine femininity. She holds the world record for the deepest dive for a woman. And she has, like, over 20,000 different species of aquatic life in the Smithsonian that she’s found throughout her career. She. She has just done an immense amount of things. Being the first woman in a leadership position, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but she was working with Noah, might have been, like, chief operator or something like that, but she’s had so much experience that was so great. Me, and I was working to create, like, a.

0:14:53 Dylan: Like an inventory, a biological inventory of the Lake Earl Conservation Trust, which was a section of about 10 acres that’s right next to her house, or a little bit smaller. I think it was three acres. Excuse me. And getting to work with her and. And when she received the historic declaration from the city that this would not be developed and it would remain a conservation area, she gave it as tribute to her parents for how they raised her, which was very, you know, touching for me because I just lost my mom and very inspiring in a lot of ways.

0:15:23 Dylan: And so sometimes in life we have this plan on exactly, like, what we want to do. And a lot of what I kind of see composting as is like, a recycling of that time, because time is so precious. And me being a part of that Mission Blue or that Sylvia Earle great career experience was a way for me to help process my own grief. But grief, everyone experiences it a little bit Differently and it’s a very complicated subject. But what I’ve learned about grief is that it needs to be, however, the capacity needs to be experienced in its full capacity, its full emotion, its full dark depths in order for you to move on, which is, you know, that uncomfortable, stinky part of the compost cycle, you know.

0:16:09 Dylan: But if the compost pile is healthy and it’s being well nurtured as a proper balance of carbon to nitrogen and has the right moisture levels, you know, and it really, it can thrive, which is what I found during this, the semester leading up to the Summer of Healing was that I was going to focus less on doing things for my, for my career. You know, I was going to do exactly what I needed to do to graduate and I did that.

0:16:35 Dylan: But I wanted to do things that would bring me joy, like non professional goals, like competing in a surf competition. I got to do that. You know, I didn’t place first, but to me it was like I’m healthy enough and I’m able to participate in the surf competition the same way with the skateboarding competition that I did as well, you know, just, just things that would bring me to life, that would make like the inner child of Dylan happy, you know. And that was something where that really assisted me and carried me along through my grief.

0:17:04 Dylan: Little did I know that my back was in terrible shape, my spine was out of alignment and I felt this when I started a job working in Costa Rica with give and I had pinched my sciatic nerve while I was down there, which I had to leave early and which triggered the Summer of Healing which led to intensive chiropractic care and lots of other types of fasting and diets and an acupuncture and just a laundry list of different holistic healing techniques.

0:17:34 Dylan: And that summer was a healing of the mind, body and spirit in a lot of ways. And that was what my fasting, my three day fast. I’d never fasted before and I was so scared to do it because I have such a high metabolism. Like I’m hungry like every 90 minutes to two hours. And I thought there’s no way that I could fast. And this was a limiting self belief, you know, and things that I’ve learned from Wayne Dyer, you know, these self beliefs are, you know, they, they make up who you are. Then the day, because I tell myself that I can do something.

0:18:03 Dylan: And then first try I did a three day fast and it was incredible. The first day I just drank juice, the next day was coconut water and the last day was salt Water and my body thinned out. I felt so clean, so, so empty and so ready to receive. And since then, when I have a meal, it’s like I hold it for a moment before it’s like I pause and I look at it. It’s like, like, wow. Like it is such a gift to eat.

0:18:29 Dylan: And that was a. That fast was a big spiritual surrender. It was a way for me to surrender my grief. Because while I was working so hard for my final semester, I did my best to, you know, have my weekly grief meetings, but I don’t really think I had enough time to process it all. And so throughout that summer, I also signed up for the remembrance program, which is a program that I found out through my local holistic doctor.

0:18:56 Dylan: And it was a six week program. Six to eight, I think it was. Six weeks, yes. And it was almost like a group therapy session. But we would try out these different techniques and I experimented with microdosing with different types of mushrooms. That really helped. What I felt from the microdosing was that it helped increase my neuroplasticity. And almost in a way with healing is like you have to refill all of your traumas and then emerge as the champion, you know, like you have to go through that decomposition process of composting, you know, and. And be picked apart and then turned around and.

0:19:31 Dylan: And just blossom as a beautiful growth, you know, just full of nutrition, just ready for the world. And that was quite the trip. But you know what? There’s a fertile output and it’s worth every moment of it.

0:19:45 Carly: I w. I mean, one. Just what an amazing transformation you’ve gone through and the ups and downs. So that just, you know, I applaud you for going through that. And I think one, yes. Oh my gosh. If more people didn’t or more people knew that physical manifestation, ailments, all these things are signs of unprocessed emotions. And there’s so much more in the emotional, spiritual world that manifests physically.

0:20:18 Carly: But okay, you went through so many things, right? And you talked about a holistic doctor and acupuncture and. And really a lot of this what we’ll call holistic slash alternative health, which is definitely making maybe a comeback. It’s a rise. You know, more and more people are really leaning into this mindset to this holistic, to the cold plunge, to the nervous system, to all of that. But you went through something really horrible.

0:20:49 Carly: You lost your mom, you went through grief. How can you tell me a little bit about how you got though, from that place where you couldn’t go overseas. You didn’t want to take, you know, this, this. What was your dream job? You’re like, I can’t go lead. I’m not in this place. I think there’s some magic in that, that my new, that little transformation right where I’m going through this grief. And how do I know that this holistic approach, this alternative health, like that’s. How did you get there? Because some people can’t get them out of that grief to then go explore these alternative methods and holistic healing and grief support.

0:21:31 Carly: Some people don’t, they can’t break through that barrier. What brought you out of, out of that and you know, able to get back into the community to find the support and the help that you needed?

0:21:43 Dylan: Yeah, I think it was. That’s a great question. And it’s, it’s probably the scariest part about one of like the top three most scary parts about going through, engaging in this healing process. And for me it was. I was just tired of my own crap. I was just tired of feeling so awful and I was tired of, of, of the, the dark cloud of grief. And grief is a, it’s a different emotion. And before my mom, I had lost about two dozen friends and family, so it wasn’t something that I was unfamiliar with.

0:22:18 Dylan: But I think the, the suddenness of losing my mom and then the like, the reality of it kind of like setting in, um, was where the grief just felt so different and it feels different than a depression and it, it feels different than, than anxiety or it’s like in its own category. And it was something that I wasn’t so familiar with on dealing with grief to this kind of caliber. You know, in the past I was able to kind of work through things on my own, but this one, I just felt so, so destroyed emotionally and just out of, out of nowhere.

0:22:59 Dylan: And I just started opening up my mind, you know, and using, trying to use my own self awareness that like, I’m not in a good space and I, I need help, which I think is a, is a challenging thing for a lot of, a lot of men in this world is to kind of have that humility to say like, I can’t do this on my own, you know, and, and that was a tough thing. You know, it hurts your pride. But, you know, we get by with a little help of our friends, you know. But I think one of the biggest words of the summer of healing, because I would feel often, I think another part, another what hinders people is that there’s so Much information out there about healing.

0:23:42 Dylan: And there’s so many different techniques that can be very overwhelming. And some of it can be very contradictory. And it’s like, well, if I think about it this way, then I’m wrong in this perspective. And I think about it this way, then I’m wrong from this way and it gets overwhelming. And you can, you know, paralysis by over analysis, which is something that I do a lot. And so the word discernment, you know, being able to sift through and find what makes sense and makes me feel comfortable in my own skin, you know, that’s. That’s the real.

0:24:10 Dylan: That’s the real challenge. You know, one of my favorite athletes, Steve Pufontaine, the first ninth or the first athlete ever sponsored by Nike, you know, one of his quotes is, the hardest thing to do in this world is to believe in something. And I found that so much in my healing path because as I was processing and talking with people, they would tell me, you know, that that doesn’t make sense for them. And then I would second guess myself. And then I would go back into the spiral of, you know, overanalyzing and so with your ability to. To feel, you know, have that self awareness, to feel, feel yourself and, and feel what? Thinking patterns, how they affect your body and observing it and not being so critical and not being judgmental, but just observing yourself.

0:24:54 Dylan: There’s a book that I have right next to my bed. Oh my gosh. What is the title of it?

0:25:02 Carly: You can go grab it.

0:25:04 Dylan: Yes, this one right here. The Art of Letting Go. Okay, this, this one is one of my. One of my favorites. And it’s one that I’m probably gonna reread each year. And it just talks about different techniques and mental strategies to use when. When trying to reorganize your mind and create a safe place for you to be in. So to answer your question, discernment. And I guess the first step is this. Being tired of feeling that way and wanting to change and making the decision to do so. Which is one of the scariest part.

0:25:38 Dylan: Discernment, Feeding through and seeing what makes you comfortable in your own skin and then doing the hardest parts of healing, which is accepting that it happened and letting go of it and just letting it be in the past. And that is the freeing part. When you let go is when the compost is finished.

0:25:55 Carly: Yeah. And. Right. You know, I love, obviously your answer is honest, but I love that answer about. I was just tired of feeling like crap because I absolutely identify with that, you know, and I mentioned That a little bit in one of my earlier episodes, my lobster moment. You know, in some, in stories and movies, we always have sometimes this like really like major. You know, we talk a lot about pivotal moments, but I think it’s important to share. You know, of course the passing of your mom was, was an event, but the pivotal moment actually occurred when you just woke up one day and decided that you didn’t want to feel like this anymore and it was your responsibility and you had it in you to go do something about it.

0:26:40 Carly: You know, and I had that same thing. It’s. Sometimes there isn’t an event that leads to that spark but ourselves of just tired of feeling that way. And that’s what I want. Other people, you know, this whole coffee with Carly and this wake up call is sometimes you have to be your own wake up call to, to turn inwards. Like how am I feeling? Is it how I want to keep feeling? And if it’s not, that needs to be your wake up call.

0:27:08 Carly: And I love what you said about healing can be really overwhelming, right? All these health things. Because that’s. There are so many things out there. You know, the health and wellness industry is insane. You should do the morning routine. Some people don’t have the morning routine. Do you want a cold plunge? Do you not want a cold plunge? There’s so many things and that is something, when I was in dietetics is that nutrition is so individualized. That’s why I, I oftentimes like laugh at things like my plate in the food pyramid and all of that because it’s.

0:27:42 Carly: Nutrition is different. We are all different. And there are many, many, many ways to heal and to be happy and healthy and wealthy. And that’s, that’s what this podcast is about, is to bring on different people and hear different stories. And you can see that people have gone through their own journeys, their own wake up calls, their own healing journeys in very different ways, but the outcome is the same. They’re happier and they’re healthier.

0:28:06 Carly: And so you made that great point of. It’s just, it is up to us to figure out what feels good, try things. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep doing it. Check in with yourself. Like, there is a lot out there and there is not one size fits all. But it is going to take some trial and error. And I think if you’re constantly, like you said, the, the over analysis and overanalyzing and trying to get it right the first time, then you’re never going to Try something. If you’re just waiting to have this perfect, you know, the very process of you trying all those different things was your healing journey.

0:28:44 Carly: So that’s my advice, I think, for other people too, of just like, movement, action. Just try things. But know that if you don’t like cold plunging, that’s okay.

0:28:54 Dylan: You can go do something else.

0:28:57 Carly: There’s lots of different ways to that healing journey.

0:29:01 Dylan: Yes, yes, absolutely. And it. It’s so important to have, like, a daily reminder, you know, and part of permaculture is. Is building a relationship with things. And one way for someone, if they’ve never grown a plant before, if they’ve. If they’re just looking for some kind of nuance to incorporate into their morning routine, you know, while they’re. While they’re pouring water into the other coffee maker in the morning, they could have a small little plant. You know, you can get it like Home Depot or Lowe’s. You can get a flower or an herb or something. Something that smells good, is also nice.

0:29:39 Dylan: And each morning you just. When you’re watering your coffee, you could water your plant and then have that as a moment, you know, it’s really nice. It’s. If you can look out the window, too, and practice a moment of mindfulness and, like, check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. And almost, in a way, what I learned from the book the Art of Letting Go, like, speak to yourself almost from third person, like, as if you’re talking to a friend, and be like, you know, how are you doing this morning, Dylan? You know, it’s a great day to be alive. You know, we got the outside going.

0:30:12 Dylan: I’m very grateful and fortunate. I have a beautiful little food forest in my yard, so I can look out and look at the moringa trees, the cassava will look at the little blooms of salvia flowers or the bees busting around. And so having those small, little moments of. Of mindfulness is. Is something that I feel like everyone can do, you know, wherever it may be, you know, even if it’s a city outside, if you’re in a city, you can still sit and observe and just have a moment where you just let your mind be open and let thoughts pass.

0:30:43 Dylan: And that can just do so much comforting. You don’t have to sit, you know, in the yogi position and, like, sit like this. You can just sit. At least sit and observe as the whole, the Kanaka Mountains would do, you know, and just do their practice, their kilo. And I think that’s a great way Just to let your mind be for a moment, which causes a lot of calm energy throughout the day. Because you’ve got to nurture our mind, body and spirit. And one of the best ways to do that is just to slow down every once in a while.

0:31:12 Carly: I love that tip of attaching it to. I’ve talked about this a little bit before, of attaching to something that you do every day. Everyone makes their coffee. It’s that morning ritual, that habit is not going anywhere. So you want to form a new habit, attach it to something that you already do really damn well. Most of us make coffee pretty damn well. So if you want. Yeah, you know, if you’re struggling to incorporate that mindfulness, attach it to something that you’re already doing.

0:31:42 Carly: Side note, question I gotta ask. Coffee grounds in my plants, is it good for it?

0:31:48 Dylan: Yes.

0:31:50 Carly: I’m always afraid I’m gonna kill it.

0:31:52 Dylan: Well, it, it depends on the amounts and of the size of the plant. I says coffee grounds is considered. Even though it is brown, it’s considered a green material, high nitrogen material for a compost pile. So if it’s like a small little plant and you’re like, you’re piling it on it, would that would, you know, it have a caffeine overload. But no, that would destroy the soil and it’s very acidic as well.

0:32:24 Dylan: So if you were to, to mix in a little bit like a little spoonful of coffee grounds with some like, new soil that you’re putting around your soil as like a little buffer, you could do that. Coffee grounds also go great in a compost pile. I understand one of the hardest parts about a home compost pile is where do you source, like your carbon dense material, your brown matter, you know, because you can put all the food scraps and the coffee grounds in, but if you don’t have wood chips or mulch or sawdust or something like that, it gets a little bit, you know, complicated that way.

0:32:55 Dylan: But coffee grounds in small amounts, if they are mixed in with other sources of like, soil or some kind of soil medium, it can, it can have benefits. I wouldn’t do it all the time, but you could probably do it like two or three times a year.

0:33:09 Carly: All right, thanks. We’ll have to. I’ll pick your brain again on the house plants, but which I think also, again, brings us to this, this point of compost and what we put in. And what we put in. There was two points that we’ve talked about of what we put into our bodies matters. And that’s what changed My trajectory as a dietitian is, and I guess that’s my own journey, is someone that’s always been focused on the sports and the athleticism and the fitness.

0:33:35 Carly: Then I went into the nutrition and then I. But I still didn’t feel good. I was like, okay, well, if it’s just about the food and just about working out, like, why am I not feeling as good as I know I’m supposed to? And it was because of my thoughts, my mind, that other piece that you talked about where I wasn’t paying attention to what I was consuming and not just, you know, what you’re watching or what you’re reading, but your thoughts.

0:34:02 Carly: We are consuming our thoughts. And what kind of thoughts was I consuming? And then you also talked about, you know, these mindfulness practices, just, you know, slowing down and in the morning, letting thoughts come and go. And I think that’s a really important topic of letting them come and go because I also used to. It was almost like I wasn’t used to having ideas or thinking. I was creative. And so that when I did get thoughts or ideas or whatever it was, I would try to hold on to them because I thought that this was the idea that I needed or this. And. And I really struggled to.

0:34:39 Carly: To let things come through me. And I. And I do think that the more that we heal, the more creative we become, because we are. Were open vessels. Like you said with fasting, you know, you felt so ready to receive. And that is why there’s so much importance in healing. And when we do in the whole health and wellness in the coaching industry, in the whatever, like the personal development, it all starts with coming back to ourself.

0:35:06 Carly: What are we feeding ourselves, our minds and our bodies. And then, then once we can work through that and process the old stinky compost, it’s like then we’re so much more ready to receive that next. We’re able to see that opportunity that we couldn’t see before. We’re able to see the new solution to the problem that we’ve had forever, which results in different results. So it is just. It’s. The mind and the body are so important and so connected. And something that I actually like to say is instead of mind, body, wellness, I like to say body, mind wellness because we all know that the body is our first interaction with the world.

0:35:43 Carly: Our body is, you know, 80% of our nerves stem from the body to the brain. And that’s how it’s telling us what kind of situation we’re in. So our body is Actually the first interaction with the world. And if we don’t have these processed emotions, we don’t have these things, then our body is stuck in this frightened survival mode. Then it’s going to look for danger cues, therefore everything around us is going to seem dangerous.

0:36:11 Carly: So you know how you talked about the liver and the sciatic and the mind, body, It’s a body, mind connection. Because everything starts with the body. And when we can control that, then we can start to control those thoughts in the mind that we have.

0:36:25 Dylan: Yes, I agree, I agree. And I imagine as we’re discussing all of this, it might sound overwhelming to the people that are listening, but there’s a key principle in the twelve principles of permaculture design, and this one is so important and it’s to use small and slow solutions. You know, like when I broke the habit of chewing on my fingernails, I did it one finger at a time. And when you’re starting to incorporate a better diet, you know, one, one meal at a time, you know, one extra snack at a time.

0:37:01 Dylan: And when it’s not a sudden shift, a sudden shift can cause a lot of uneasiness, easiness, you know, and, and can be a very exhausting. But if you slowly start to incorporate new things, you’re focusing on your brain’s neuroplasticity to build a new habit. And then after about six weeks, it feels weird if you don’t do it. You know, with flossing. You know, when I first got into the habit of flossing, it was just like four or five teeth in the front and I would look at it, I would look at it in the mirror. And then eventually I just got carried away and started doing all of them.

0:37:34 Dylan: And now if I don’t floss, I feel like a wild animal.

0:37:38 Carly: You barbarian. That is such a great.

0:37:43 Dylan: Oh, go ahead, go for it, go for it.

0:37:46 Carly: Yeah, no, you’re right. And that is a great point. And I think sometimes, you know, on these, these episodes we can start to nerd out and get so excited and it’s things that, you know, we’ve both gone through our own transformations, so we get passionate about it and get me talking about the body and science and it’s crazy. But that is a great point of. The most important thing is consistency in anything in life.

0:38:09 Carly: Healing, health, new business, whatever it is, it’s consistency because think about it like, okay, is it better, more healthy to go for one three hour run a week or if I go for a 20 minute run every day, what’s going to Create new results, going for the run, the shorter run every single day, you know, and it’s compounding results. You know, you started at one fingernail and it didn’t feel like, oh, there’s still nine that, you know, I’m chewing on or whatever. But it’s like compounding results.

0:38:44 Carly: And guess what happened? The habit stopped in all 10, you know, and the importance too is that you sometimes can’t see it’s compounding. Look at your investment account, like for a really long time, things are going to feel kind of stagnant, like a straight line, but then you see that exponential growth. So that is a great point. This can all feel overwhelming if you’re just new. And so pick one and stick with it because there’s a lot of, there’s a lot of growth and expansiveness in just completing something.

0:39:14 Carly: Right. Like, and it builds these tiny, tiny habits. Build the confidence that then allow you to tackle some of those bigger things.

0:39:23 Dylan: Yes, yes. And another benefit that I experienced in the group therapy that I participated in was when you have a crew of people that are supporting you who are all going through it together, that’s another great support system. Someone you can talk to about the struggles or how you fell short that day. And then you have someone to help hold you accountable. Because the reason why anyone would want to do this work is to be that fertile compass.

0:39:51 Dylan: And it’s the consistency as you continue to do it, continue to maintain that, that discipline. Then things will start to unfold. And then like you said, with the compounding interest for the investment, everything will just start to rapidly increase. And that’s when it gets really exciting and that’s when you feel alive.

0:40:12 Carly: Yep. Finding support, accountability is huge. And accountability so that you show up and then accountability to also celebrate. And this is something that I talk about a lot in transformations is celebrating. Right. Like, hey, I stopped chewing one of my fingernails. Like having a buddy that you can celebrate that milestone with. Super important as well. And this is your permission slip to go celebrate yourself. Because we often wait for other people to celebrate and that’s constantly a theme gets brought up in my world of like transformations and breakthroughs.

0:40:52 Carly: So what I want to all great tips. And you know, we’ve talked a lot about this lesson of soil and compost and I hope that that metaphor of compost, of feeding it the right thing, the green matter, the brown matter, all of that is important. And I think viewing how we look at compost, is it that stinky thing or is it that vital life giving thing can change our future outcomes. And you’ve gone through a lot of healing and a lot of tips.

0:41:24 Carly: And so now what is bringing you joy today? What’s bringing you joy and grounding you currently?

0:41:32 Dylan: Well, this morning I went and skateboarded with one of my good friends and just the camaraderie that we share together, the exercise, it’s really just a hobby, you know, and it’s something that I really enjoy. As anyone has hobbies, you’ll find other people that share those hobbies and you can share that enthusiasm for each other. And at the skate park, it’s not so much about like who does the coolest thing, but what’s the best thing that you can do in that moment and did you do it?

0:42:04 Dylan: You know, and you know, really good, athletic skateboarders will celebrate someone on their first day just because they, they share that same kind of that excitement, that stoke level. And that’s what I’ve really been focusing on is being more disciplined and doing things that bring me joy and like surrounding myself with good, supportive people. And whether that’s, you know, out in the lineup on a surfboard or getting ready to drop in, in a pool, at a bowl, just making sure that I have good people around.

0:42:36 Dylan: And of course feeding the body, you know, feeding the body good food and getting good rest. For me, sleeping, you know, that’s a, that’s something I’ve really started, incorporate more and more into my life. And now if I don’t get my full 8 hours, I can feel it.

0:42:51 Carly: But when I context, Dylan used to be like a three hour a night person. Back in our early days when we were working together, this man would run off. No sleep. Actually not three hours. So glad to see that health hack has come into your life.

0:43:08 Dylan: Yes. You know, I’m not 23 anymore. I get tired now, but every every once in a while, you know, I, I’ll have spurts of, of height of heightened activity and it’ll be a fun and a fun experience, you know, and my body just feels ready. But the more that I’m growing older, the more that I’m listening to my body and, and understanding like a lot of these aches and pains in my feeling is because I haven’t had a full eight hours of sleep.

0:43:42 Dylan: And, and that, and that is just so, so powerful. Sleepy.

0:43:48 Carly: Yeah, I mean that, that is definitely some of the, you know, these, some people have sleep coaches, some of these CEO. You know, you see these people and we’re told that, you know, a CEO or an exec or whatever is you know, grinding it out and working forever. It’s like. No, no, no, they’re not. They are. The successful people are sleeping eight to 10 hours. They’re treating it like it’s a professional part of their health. You know, it’s so important.

0:44:15 Carly: So sleep will definitely be a topic that we talk about. But you know, you did mention something that I. That is also really important is the seasonality of it all. And again, checking in with ourselves because there’s times where like, I’m feeling this energy and I’m feeling creative and I’m gonna stay up till 10 o’clock at night and I’m working on my computer and I’m writing and there’s, there’s this flow and there’s this energy and old me used to get stuck in like, well, nope. The healthy thing is I need to, you know, shut down my laptop at 7 and I’m going to go to bed at 9. And this and this and those are all great. And those are routine habits we should form.

0:44:49 Carly: But don’t block yourself from that creative flow too. You know, life is meant to be lived and there’s excitement and there’s fun and if you’re feeling something and you’re inspired and you’re whatever, like go right, go right all night. You know, it’s, it’s just the ability to be resilient and flexible and see what you’re feeling in the different seasons of life.

0:45:07 Dylan: Yes, yes, it’s good to be rooted in that, in that routine, you know, like the roots of a tree. But those, those tree branches, they have a lot more flexibility to it. You know, the roots are pretty much stayed in their ground. But the only reason the roots are growing is because all the leaves are photosynthesizing and there has to be like this balance between the two. And I love what you said about life has to be lived.

0:45:30 Dylan: And so many times I would get so caught up, you know, in the grind and I’ll just forget that life is supposed to be lived. You know, when I was in grad school, I was just such a workaholic and like, I, I didn’t really hang out with my friends, you know, I barely surfed and I was miserable and, But I was producing a lot of material and I was, you know, performing well for a period of time. And then I was like, the things that brought me joy were less involved in my life. It was just the joy started to escape more from me.

0:46:04 Dylan: And so I would find that flow state, especially like while surfing, like if you think about Anything else while you’re surfing, you’re gonna fall off the board, you know, or while I’m writing my journal too. And just like opening up your, your brain and your pen and just like flowing and writing and writing in writing, I found so much of that, of that processing of that decomposing of that, of that manipulating these traumas that have been tormenting my mind and trying to process them out in the paper and see them and be like, oh, it’s actually not that big of a deal.

0:46:41 Dylan: And I’ve created my own suffering by thinking it was that big of a deal. And I just wrote it down and it was actually pretty simple. And I know what I have to do now and that those states of flow and most of my journaling that’s been so beneficial has happened at like, you know, 11:00pm, 12:00am, 1:00am and if I went to bed early and stayed on my regiment, then I never would have felt that euphoria, that release, you know, that processing.

0:47:05 Dylan: So, you know, there’s. There’s times in life where you have to be rigid and routine and disciplined and those other times in life where you just gotta ride the way. Yeah.

0:47:14 Carly: Which, right. It comes back to, there’s so many ways to live a happy, healthy life. And if it’s, you know, if you do well with a rigid routine every morning, great, but if not, that’s okay, too. And that doesn’t mean that you’re not going to be a successful person.

0:47:31 Dylan: Yes, I agree. It’s just finding what fits best for you. And it’s just been. It’s been a treat to share about, like, what’s made sense for me. And I hope, you know, if there’s anyone else out there that can resonate or, or feel what I’m feeling, experience the empathy, then I hope these tools support them.

0:47:49 Carly: Well, I just want to thank you so much for sharing openly and honestly. You know, you’ve gone through a lot, and grief is something that, you know, affects all of us. And I also hope that this movie inspires someone to go learn a little bit more about permaculture and agriculture. And this has been nothing short of amazing. As expected. Again, I just want to thank you so much for sharing so openly and honestly. And that’s the point of these podcasts, right? Connection, transparency. We’re all going through the same thing. Being vulnerable and being aware.

0:48:23 Carly: Self awareness is the first step to so much success in all areas of our life. And I want to thank you guys for listening thus far, for joining us for another episode. Remember, Coffee with Carly is your wake up call to a happier, healthier life. So I hope that you did find some tiny piece of information, some insight, some inspiration, some wake up call from this episode that you can now apply into your life to continue to live a healthy, happy, wealthy life.

0:48:55 Carly: And as always, please be sure to follow subscribe, rate my podcast and if you guys do have any questions or want to learn more about my work, you can always reach out to me via Instagram. Dylan, if people did want to get in touch with you, I do just know this as a friend. You have a couple different side hustles is sustainability. You want to just share any way that people get in touch with you if they have questions about permaculture or just learning more about your journey that you’ve gone on.

0:49:27 Dylan: Yes, sustainability. That’s a hard one.

0:49:31 Carly: Sustainability.

0:49:33 Dylan: It always makes me smile every time I say it.

0:49:36 Carly: We will definitely make sure that we include Dylan’s Instagram as well, so it sounds like that’s the best way to reach out to him there. Yeah. Thank you guys again for tuning in. Thank you so much, Dylan. And we look forward to chatting with you next week.

0:49:54 Dylan: All right, thank you so much, Carly, and best of luck to everyone who’s listening.

0:49:58 Carly: Cheers.