EP 08: The Art of Commitment

Carly explores the transformative power of commitment through a personal anecdote on snowboarding and a discussion on workplace culture inspired by a podcast featuring Jeff Bezos. She discusses the concept of fully committing to life choices and projects, highlighting the importance of leaving behind previous limitations to embrace new opportunities. 

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Transcript

0:00:00 Carly: Foreign. Welcome to Coffee with Carly, your weekly wake up call to a happier, healthier life. I’m your host, Carly Shade, and I’m here to uncover how good life can get. Welcome back to another episode of Coffee with Carly. So before we dive into the episode, I am gonna go on a bit of a riff or maybe an explanation about my story and this podcast. Not that anyone’s art needs to be explained or make sense to anyone else, because this podcast is my art.

0:00:47 Carly: But I’ve done a couple episodes now and I think it is time to just share a little bit more about the background and, and maybe this is obvious. We’ll see. But we all know the name Coffee with Carly, right? So your weekly wake up call to a happier, healthier life. So just like a cup of coffee, the caffeine that wakes you up. So is this podcast. And before we kind of get to that, I want to backtrack a little bit.

0:01:14 Carly: So how did I get to this idea? So when I was a dietitian, many of you have maybe heard the very first episode, my lobster Moment, we talk about. That’s what I studied in school, I went to grad school, I was a dietitian. And one of the most important things that I learned as a dietitian is this. There is no one size fits all to nutrition. And I mentioned this again in my episode with Dylan. Like, I kind of laugh at this idea of my plate and the food pyramid and all of that. Like, there is no one size fits all.

0:01:47 Carly: It is so individualized to ourselves, to our lifestyle. Like, think about how many people eat different things and the result is still the same. They feel good in their bodies, they’re happy, they’re healthy. Right? Like my fiance, I swear, would eat chicken and broccoli for the rest of his life and he would feel great and that’s all he wants to do. His cousin is a vegan and she runs Iron Women, Ironman, Iron Woman competitions. Like, you see it all around us.

0:02:16 Carly: So it’s not a one size fits all with our diet and with our health and with that kind of internal nutrition. And then also I’ve had a lot of experience in business and marketing and I’ve learned how to build automations and sales funnels and workflows. And I’ve been director of operations. Like, I know how to automate the heck out of things. And that’s a very masculine way of doing business. And then I’ve also learned from a lot of feminine leaders who are literally multi millionaires doing things totally opposite than what everybody else is teaching in marketing and business, attraction based sales, basically just speaking to aspirations and instead of using pain point marketing, it’s like desire based.

0:03:03 Carly: So the lesson that I’ve had in the next job is that there’s no one size fits all for business. Again, a lot of different ways to reach the same outcome. And so that leads me to my next job, a life coach. Because if you believe that there is no one size fits all for nutrition, there’s no one size fits all for business, you sure as shit better believe that there is no one size fits all for life. There is no one single normal, right, no way to live.

0:03:35 Carly: And that is what this podcast is about. So it may seem like these episodes are really random or really diverse and there’s a huge range to what we talk about. And that’s on purpose because one, humans are messy and have a massive range and are complex. But two, because I want to show you all the different ways to do life. You know, maybe, maybe you’re happy where you’re at and you want to just go from good to great.

0:04:05 Carly: And one of the, you know, my random solo episode mindset rifts, you know, might just make your day a little bit better. You might embrace disappointment. You might find inspiration in something that you didn’t, you know, know or, you know, I’m gonna have episodes where we talk about crazy things or people that totally like blew up the life is that they knew it, moved to another country and now they have like a six figure business and found of their life and like this total fairy tale story.

0:04:35 Carly: So that’s the point is I want to show you that there is no right, one right way to live. And so you have permission. This is your permission slip. You know, every episode might not land with everybody, but that’s not the point. If just one episode inspires you to do something different or inspires you that you realize and that you can make a change or inspires you into action or wakes you up to the radical responsibility that we actually do have.

0:05:07 Carly: Not only the responsibility, but the capacity to choose our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, our attitudes, our life at any given time. So that’s how we got to coffee with Carly. A progression of the experiences that I’ve had, of the beliefs that I had and I have learned from the most diverse group of people and diverse places ever. And I still continue to do that. And we have so much to learn from each other.

0:05:35 Carly: So that is what I’m gonna continue to provide on this podcast is, you know, everyday actions and riffs and stories from what I’m going through as I continue to chase my dreams and pursue my passions. And then also lessons from other people. Just candid conversations showing you different ways that people have chosen to live their lives in hopes that it can inspire you to live your life that is in alignment with you. Remember, you create who you are.

0:06:03 Carly: And that’s what I do. So that is what I do as a life coach, right, Is that I’m not here to tell you how to do life. I’m here to help you discover who you are and how to create and build your life that is in alignment with you. And that’s what we talk about a lot of different things. And I think that there’s a lot of misconceptions about what a life coach does. I’m here to help you build your dream life the way that you want.

0:06:29 Carly: And I hope this podcast inspires you to do so. So my riff is over. Thank you for listening and let’s dive into today’s episode. Today is a story. Well, I want to talk about last weekend. I think it was Super Bowl Sunday, and I was on my way to the mountains to go snowboarding with my fiance, Matt. We’re just gonna start using Matt so that I don’t have to keep saying the word fiance. Cause I honestly hate that word.

0:06:55 Carly: But anyway, so we’re on the way to the mountains and it’s around 6:30 in the morning, so too early for me to sing my heart out to my usual jams. But we can’t have silence or Matt will get sleepy. So we’re on our way to the mountains and we decide to throw on a podcast. And we end up listening to the Lex Friedman episode where he interviews Jeff Bezos. So they talk about a lot of things and it’s a great podcast episode. You should go listen. But eventually their conversation leads into work and Bezos starts talking about having a healthy debate in the workplace during a meeting.

0:07:28 Carly: You know, something that he loves. He loves group think and loves group meetings and, and loves really kind of masterminding over that. And so over the years, he has trained his employees to have some intense arguments when brainstorming and debating these ideas. You know, really like throw out all the ideas, debate which option is best, pros and cons. And eventually the entire group decides on an idea and goes with it.

0:07:53 Carly: So a lot of workplaces do this, of course, but the difference between the kind of workplace culture that Bezos has created compared to others is is what comes after they make that decision. So a Lot of workplaces, you know, they choose an idea, they assign people tasks, and they make everyone get to work on it. But let’s be real, people get pissy. So the person whose idea didn’t get chosen might be bitter, might be frustrated, might take everything personally.

0:08:25 Carly: And even though they now have a part of this task, part of this mission assigned towards them, you know, working towards this greater goal, they’re not really committed. Their subconscious isn’t really even looking for solutions because they’re stuck in the past, secretly hoping it fails just so they can be right, just because it wasn’t their idea. But the difference is what Bezos has created is an environment where everybody gets on board.

0:08:53 Carly: They drop everything, all the arguments, the debates, the points against it. They leave their resentment at the door, and they work towards making the winning idea a success. I mean, that’s the point, right? Like, it’s not about being right. It’s about solving the problem and moving forward. And he has created a culture where even if it wasn’t their idea, even if there are plenty of reasons why it might not work, they’re fully committed to trying their hardest to make it.

0:09:20 Carly: They jump in with both feet. They weren’t stuck in the past dwelling on the heated argument. They focused solely on the future and what’s coming next. So fast forward to the mountain that Matt and I are snowboarding at, and we run into a tiny little cliff, a little drop. Don’t worry, it was nothing spectacular. Matt goes off it, full send. No fear, no problem. Now it’s my turn. And when it comes to hitting a drop, the best thing that you can do is fully commit.

0:09:50 Carly: So this applies to most of snowboarding, and when you’re not committed to your line, you get hurt. So I put on a brave face for Matt, and I started moving with some speed, but I hesitated at the very end, got scared, didn’t really give it my full effort, and I fell flat on my face. Luckily, the snow was soft, but it wasn’t that pretty. So obviously you see where I’m going with this, right? Where in our lives do we have one foot in and one foot out?

0:10:22 Carly: Because so many of us are living in the in between. Maybe you’re in a relationship, but you’re still keeping tabs on your ex’s social media. Maybe you want to start your own business, but you keep applying for jobs and telling yourself that you’re working on it, but never go all in. Maybe you’ve started to eat healthier, but you keep your pantry full of junk food just in case we are scared to fully commit because it’s risky and we’ve never gone there before and it’s uncomfortable.

0:10:54 Carly: But having one foot in and one foot out is like being on a boat that’s still anchored at sea and you’re paddling and you’re kind of moving, but you’re not actually going anywhere because there’s an anchor. We feel like we’re moving. It’s like you’re dipping your toe in. But you know that if it feels uncomfortable, you can always go back to the old you. But the truth is, you can’t write your new chapter if you keep rereading the old ones.

0:11:21 Carly: Let’s even dive into the energetics of it. If you’re in between, you’re trying to safely explore while still being anchored, you’re not fully showing up. Your effort is half assed. The frequency you’re putting out into the world is half assed. And that’s exactly the kind of results you’re going to get. Half asked. So where in your life are you living in the in between? If you’re trying to make a big change or just any change and you’re not seeing the results, take a look around.

0:11:54 Carly: Where are you still tethered? A quote by Joseph Campbell in Inferno says, we must let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. We have to cut the rope, we have to let go of the anchor, get in the boat and be willing to brave the sea without a lifeline. Be the person that cares more about moving forward, about finding solutions, than being right. Where are you not showing up fully?

0:12:27 Carly: Where are you still living with one foot in and one foot out? And where can you just jump two feet in? All right, that is today’s episode. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for catching up with me. And if you guys, of course, have not already, please be sure to subscribe. Follow whatever the button tells you to do that says add. Yes, I would love to follow and get all of the updates on this podcast.

0:13:03 Carly: Do that. I believe there’s also an option to leave like a review or a rating. Please do that. It means the world to me, it supports me. And if you enjoy what I have to share, it allows more people to hear it as well. So please do that. As always, these are kind of little riffs, little tidbits, little bits about my teaching, about my philosophies. If you are ever looking for deeper support, um, I do offer one to one mentorship.

0:13:29 Carly: Um, I have offers that are coming out online. The next one being about it’s going to be an empowered business blueprint to kind of help new entrepreneurs with messaging and marketing and strategy. Um, but, yeah, the best way to reach out to me is probably on Instagram. Um, but however you want to reach out to me, I will love that. So thank you guys again for showing up, for tuning in, um, and like a good cup of coffee, stay bold, stay balanced, and I will see you all next week.