EP 15: Feminine Freedom Part 1 - How Understanding Your Cycle Boosts Productivity

Welcome to part 1 of the Feminine Freedom - a new mini-series inside Coffee with Carly! Carly Schade invites you to rethink everything you’ve been taught about health, hustle, and productivity. Most modern systems are built around a 24-hour hormone cycle—a rhythm that works for men, but leaves women feeling exhausted, inconsistent, and disconnected from their bodies.

Carly shares why syncing your life to your 28-day hormone cycle isn’t “woo”—it’s science. She breaks down the four phases (menstrual, follicular, ovulatory, and luteal) and how each one holds a different superpower.

You’ll learn how to align your tasks, rest, workouts, and energy with your body's natural rhythm—and finally feel like you're working with yourself instead of constantly pushing against.

This episode is part education, part empowerment, and 100% permission to stop treating yourself like a machine and start honoring your biology.

Key Takeaways:

• Cycle 101: A breakdown of the four hormone phases and what each one means for your energy, mood, and motivation
• Rewrite the Rulebook: How our world was built for men—and how women can finally stop playing by those rules
• New Definition of Consistency: Why showing up the same every day isn’t realistic—and what sustainable success actually looks like
• Real-Life Shifts: Three simple ways to begin syncing your calendar, self-care, and expectations to your body
• Cyclical Living = Feminine Freedom: The more you tune into your body, the more ease, clarity, and momentum you’ll find

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Transcript

0:00:00 Carly: Foreign welcome to Coffee with Carly, your weekly wake up call to a happier, healthier life. I’m your host, Carly Shade, and I’m here to uncover how good life can get. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back. You all know the drill. It’s time for another wake up call. And if you missed last week’s episode, we are at the start of something very special here. It’s a four part miniseries, inside Coffee with Carly called Feminine Freedom.

0:00:44 Carly: And today is the first official episode. So if you did miss last week’s episode, it’s only 10 minutes, so feel free to hit the back button for more context. I do share a little bit more about my story and the inspiration behind this series because it was really inspired by my friends, my clients, but also mainly my own journey. And Feminine Freedom is meant to just shine a light on the outdated rules, the limiting beliefs, and the many subconscious ways that we as women keep ourselves tired, stressed and broken.

0:01:19 Carly: So think of this series as your permission slip to rewrite the rules and start operating from a place that’s natural and supportive to your feminine frequency so that we can all move through life a little happier, a little healthier and a little wealthier, of course, without the burnout. So because this, this week, is all about health, it’s the foundation, right? This is the most important, in my opinion, layer to living a happy, healthy life.

0:01:47 Carly: Think of similar to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Consider this series, the Food Pyramid for Freedom. And health is at the bottom of the food pyramid, the freedom pyramid, I should say, because when you feel good, you take action. When you feel good, you’re confident. When you feel good, you’re unstoppable. And yet so many of us feel like shit, right? I mean, that’s what inspired this entire podcast in general is just that most of us have no idea how good we’re actually supposed to feel.

0:02:19 Carly: Instead, most of us just ignore our bodies and we push through and we try to treat every day the same. And then when our bodies don’t cooperate the way that we think they should, we feel like we’re the problem, when in reality, we have just been following the wrong rule book. So this series, Feminine Freedom, it’s all about rewriting it. And to start again, to kick off the whole series, I want to talk about health.

0:02:48 Carly: So here’s some interesting facts about our bodies that you might not know. First, men and women are literally built differently. Okay? So some scientists actually even argue that men and women should be considered two different species biologically. And one of the most commonly known differences Is in body composition. So males typically have proportionately more muscle mass, more bone mass, and a lower percentage of body fat than women.

0:03:15 Carly: But I bet you didn’t know that the size and structure of our organs are also different. So men have larger lungs, wider airways, and greater lung diffusion capacity, Even when body size is the same. So Brian, the only reason you beat me in high school in that race was because you just have more lung capacity. Okay, so next up, our brains are different. The male brain is about 10% larger on average.

0:03:42 Carly: But don’t worry, size does not mean smarter. Okay? Women actually have more gray matter, which is the stuff responsible for processing information, movement and perception. Unfortunately though, during pregnancy, gray matter decreases in a woman’s brain, which is what is commonly referred to as pregnancy brain. Just another perk carrying on the human race. But even though we have more gray matter, we actually use more white matter than men.

0:04:12 Carly: And men use more gray matter. That’s also why women often excel at multitasking and communication, While men might thrive on task specific focuses. Next up, we have hormone processing. So neurochemicals like serotonin process diagnostic differently in women, which can actually make us more susceptible to anxiety and depression. And women also have a larger hippocampus. So the hippocampus is the part of the brain that’s involved in memory and emotion.

0:04:42 Carly: And so because ours is larger, this might be why women are often more emotionally attuned. Maybe why we remember that thing that you said three years ago. And lastly, under stress, men typically go into fight or flight. Well, women actually tend to tend and befriend. So meaning we reach out, connect and nurture when we’re under stress. So the list goes on. But for today’s episode, I really wanna focus on the hormone cycle.

0:05:12 Carly: So men have a 24 hour hormone cycle. Testosterone peaks in the morning, energy dips in the afternoon, and it resets every single day. But that’s not us. Women are cyclical. So Instead of a 24 hour rhythm, we have a 28ish day cycle. And our energy and our creativity and our focus and our emotions are based on where we’re at in that cycle. But even though 50% of the population runs on a 28 day cycle, this world that we’ve built was somehow built for the 24 hour rhythm.

0:05:49 Carly: Like we see it everywhere. Our work schedules, our fitness routines, our productivity hacks, even medical research. All designed around the male blueprint. Which is why most women try to show up every day with the same energy, the same productivity, and the same intensity and when we force ourselves to try to keep up with this, what happens? We burn out. We disconnect. And then we blame ourselves for not being, quote, unquote, consistent enough or disciplined enough.

0:06:20 Carly: So consider this episode a Little Hormone Health 101. We’re going to dive into the four phases of your hormone cycle and what your body actually needs during each one. Why syncing your life to your cycle is not woo woo. It is science. And how honoring your feminine rhythms can make you more productive, creative, and magnetic without the burnout. And if you’re a guy and you’ve stuck around this long, thank you.

0:06:47 Carly: But you’re also going to want to keep listening. Okay? Learning and understanding your woman’s cycle can literally be one of the greatest gifts that you can give her. Okay, Matt, my partner knows all about this. And it’s going to help you avoid fights. It’s going to know how to best love and support her during each week. And it’s going to finally give you a better vocabulary so that you can just stop blaming everything on pms.

0:07:11 Carly: Oh, my God. Okay, so just keep listening. But, ladies, your cycle is so much more than just your period. Okay? So it actually includes four unique phases, each again affecting your energy, mood, focus, creativity, motivation, even your metabolism. But most of us were never taught this growing up, okay? We were really just warned how sucky our, quote, time of the month was. We were taught how to use a tampon and then told, beware of pms.

0:07:43 Carly: Oh, and remember, use a condom. That was like, the extent of our health education. But our hormone health is so much more than just that one week that we’re bleeding. And once you understand your cycle, it can really, really, truly help prevent burnout. It can spark creativity and can really be seen as a superpower instead of this sucky thing to avoid. So let’s start with the four phases. So phase one is our menstrual phase, day one of your period.

0:08:14 Carly: So when we start tracking our cycle, your cycle actually starts the day you get your period. I think this was something when I first started learning. I for some reason thought that was like, the end of our cycle, but it is day one. So the first day of your period is day one of your cycle. And this phase ends obviously when the bleeding stops. So again, it can last anywhere from three to seven days. Again, you know, women are all different, and we do have a healthy range of changes.

0:08:38 Carly: So during your menstrual phase, your hormones, the estrogen and progesterone, are at their total lowest. So I want you guys to think of this phase as inner winter, okay? A time to rest, reflect, renew. I mean, your body is literally shedding its lining. Your energy is going to be at its lowest. And your brain, though, is in this deep connection mode, but it’s a connection to itself, not other people. Okay?

0:09:06 Carly: So during this time, if we’re talking about our schedule, think like slow mornings, journaling, tea. We definitely want to avoid caffeine here. Gentle movement, like stretching or walking. But as I mentioned, this really is the best time to reflect. Okay, so take a look, maybe at your last month, your year. Ask yourself important questions. Are you liking the direction that you’re heading? You know, where did your time go this last month?

0:09:30 Carly: Because like I said, you’re in this deep connection mode, so you’re very connected to your body, which also means you’re really connected to your intuition. So it’s a really wonderful time for reflection. And of course, if you’re also feeling like you want to cancel your calendar, crawl under a weighted blanket. Listen to that. Okay? Productivity in this phase does not mean pushing. It means pausing.

0:09:54 Carly: So now we have phase two, the follicular phase. So this obviously starts right after your period, and it can last anywhere from seven to 10 days. And we see that our estrogen begins to rise in this phase. So welcome to your inner spring. Okay, so energy is building, creativity returning, and your brain is getting primed for planning for new ideas. It’s like gearing up to release an egg. And it’s also in this, like, let’s get shit done mode.

0:10:24 Carly: So think of brainstorming, organizing, initiating projects, trying new workouts or habits, like plans for the next month. Like, okay, let me see, what is my next month ahead? Like, where can I plan things out? What am I going to be feeling? Definitely planning mode. It’s the idea where you know, you’re planting seeds. Okay? So start that new project, have a new conversation, maybe introduce a new habit, all in your follicular phase.

0:10:51 Carly: And then next we have phase three, the ovulatory phase. So short but sweet. This phase lasts only about three to five days and is around the midpoint of your cycle. So here we’re going to see our estrogen peak and a burst of luteinizing hormone. Okay? So your inner summer, this wonderful short but sweet phase where we have charisma and communication and we’re very confident. And biologically speaking, like, you’re primed to express, to connect, to, to be seen.

0:11:22 Carly: Testosterone also peaks briefly here, so it’s gonna give you an edge in strength and sex drive. You know, so if you land a speaking gig. Oh my God. On your ovulation phase, amazing. Think maybe planning date nights out or maybe try a new intense workout. If you’ve been dreaming of climbing that mountain, this might be the time to do it. Career specific things, right? Like plan important meetings during this time, pitch a new idea or negotiate that salary because you’re probably making less than you deserve.

0:11:55 Carly: So if you are ready to negotiate a salary, do this in your ovulation window, okay? This is really the time to like show up, be seen and shine. Inner summer. And then lastly, we have phase four, your luteal phase. So this is after ovulation until your period starts. It can be anywhere from like 10 to 16 days. And here, this is where we see your progesterone rises and then drops near the end if no pregnancy occurs.

0:12:23 Carly: So your luteal phase is your inner fall. You might feel more inward, detail oriented or even irritable. Totally normal. And your body is shifting focus. So it’s less about connections, it’s more about protection and discernment. So during this phase, a great thing that you can do is deep work, nesting or completing things, right? So like tie up those loose ends, those projects that you maybe started in that follicular phase.

0:12:51 Carly: See if you can tie up some loose ends, start to get ready to stop doing so much. It’s definitely not the time to start new things, okay? It’s the time to say no on purpose and not say yes to everything. Those are the four phases of your cycle. And you can see how your strengths, your superpowers are going to change during each phase. And each phase truly does have a superpower. There is no bad sucky phase, okay?

0:13:18 Carly: There’s just a different superpower. And I just love talking about this because there is so much scientific evidence to back it up, right? A lot of people can think it’s like woo, woo. We all sound like crazy witches when we talk about our cycle or cycle syncing. But there is biological reason and scientific evidence for these changes. So if you have ever thought, why do I feel amazing one week and blah the next?

0:13:46 Carly: Or why do my workouts feel so hard sometimes? When like just last week they were totally fine. Or why do I get a sudden craving to quit everything and move to the woods? It’s not random. It’s your cycles. You’re not crazy. You’re cyclical, okay? But we’ve been built to believe that we all have a daily reset. Our world has been built around this daily reset, not a monthly one. And the thing is, our bodies, they go through as women, an entire little mini year in just one month. I just talked about all four seasons.

0:14:21 Carly: That’s amazing. But the problem is that we’re trying to squeeze ourselves into a system that only celebrates consistency, output and sameness. And yet we wonder why we’re tired, overwhelmed and burned out. So it is not you. It’s the rule book that we’ve been following. But the good news is that you get to rewrite it and you don’t have to totally overhaul your life. Okay? You just need to start paying attention.

0:14:48 Carly: Here are three small shifts that I’m going to share that we’re going to help you lean into the 28 day rhythm and better support your own biology. Number one, track your cycle. Start today. Even if you’re not menstruating, this still applies. Okay? Use an app like Flow or my Flow or just write it down in your notes just to get started. Okay? Just bring awareness to what phase you’re in. Note those days when you feel energized, creative, introverted, sensitive, focused.

0:15:20 Carly: That’s all data. Use that as your new compass. Forget what you’ve been taught, what you’ve been told, the shoulds, all of that. Start to bring awareness to yourself, to your feelings. Use that data as your new compass. Right? And as someone, you know, like myself, who used to really be disconnected from her body, this really helped me learn how to start to tune into my body again. Just this simple awareness.

0:15:50 Carly: Or it was almost like it gave me a new language, right? I was able to see like, okay, how am I feeling today? And I was able to look, oh, I’m in my luteal phase. There’s some words that actually gonna help explain what I’m feeling. And so I had this new language, this new vocabulary, and like suddenly things just started to make more sense and I started to be able to notice and listen to shifts and changes and insights coming from my body.

0:16:17 Carly: So where am I in my cycle? Is one of the most powerful questions a woman can ask herself. Number two, match your tasks to your energy. So step number one, you know, you start to track your cycle. You’re starting to notice where you’re at, bringing awareness also to just how you’re feeling. So then let’s just start to shift one thing in your schedule that’s going to better match your energy. So maybe it’s intentionally scheduling time to brainstorm and plan out your month during your follicular phase.

0:16:50 Carly: Maybe you again, you batch a bunch of those important team meetings or batch you Know social media content during your ovulation. And then we’re going to maybe focus on admin or deep work in your luteal phase. Or maybe you can just schedule an intentional day of rest. Journaling. Take a half day and just reflect during your menstruation phase. Just choose one of these things to start shifting. Okay, you don’t have to cancel your whole life, but you just have to stop forcing yourself to show up the same every single day.

0:17:25 Carly: And the last piece of advice is to advocate for yourself. So this might be one of the hardest but the most important steps. Because in a 24 hour productivity focused culture, self advocacy is radical. So what do I mean by that? Say no when your body says no. Push meetings when you can design your calendar with intentional white space and let go of the shame around needing rest. Rest is not laziness.

0:18:01 Carly: Rest is intelligence, especially when it’s on purpose. Like cycle syncing has been a huge, huge positive factor in my burnout recovery. For me, it gave me the permission that I needed, that I struggled to give myself. I learn and respond best when you can add a scientific fact behind things. That’s just how I work. But, right, Like, I wasn’t able to give myself this permission and this grace to slow down. I was addicted to the achievement. I was so used to pushing and grinding and just keep going.

0:18:38 Carly: It was really hard to give myself this intentional rest, this intentional slowing down. Just, just in general, the intentionality of a whole month, right? And especially after becoming an entrepreneur, I have the incredible gift to create my own schedule. But dear God, it is not always easy, okay? And especially when we have these preconditioned beliefs that we have to set these daily routines right? Like, I lived my whole life around this nine to five and I get up at seven every day and then I go to the gym and then I go to my 9 to 5 and then I come home.

0:19:12 Carly: So then I entered this world of becoming an entrepreneur and I was able to slow down and I started to connect and listen to my body again in cycle sync. And then I kept trying to show up though, in this nine to five way, in this same way, and it wasn’t working. And I was getting so frustrated. I was like, what is wrong with me? Like, why am I not disciplined enough? Like, why? Why can’t I show up the same way?

0:19:35 Carly: But once I learned about cycle thinking, once I learned about the actual biology of my body, it really showed me. It was like, I’m not undisciplined. I’m just in a Different phase. Because the world as we know, was not built for our cycles. 24 hours versus 28 days. But what this means is that we get to now write a better world for ourselves. Yes, the past 30 years, that’s what I’ve learned. This one way. But now we get to build a better world. Okay, let’s start to rewrite the rules.

0:20:09 Carly: And this is the beginning of feminine freedom. It starts with body literacy. Giving ourselves awareness, education, understanding, vocabulary. It starts with honoring your own rhythm, the reality of your biology. And the beautiful thing about leaning into this different frequency, this feminine flow, is that eventually it leads to success. That’s not linear, right? Like, it gets to be quantum. We get to see quantum shifts in every area of our lives, that relationship, the career, the success.

0:20:43 Carly: Like, whatever it is, because our bodies weren’t naturally made to just be linear. When we also see abundance, it gets to be quantum. And I know that it can be hard, right? Like, we have been so conditioned to believe x input equals X output. But that is not true. Nature knows what is best. Nature will always win. And your nature is 28 days. And so what you’re doing when you lean into your cycle is doing what nature intended. And I promise, if you start to make these small shifts, you start to listen to your body, you start to rest when your body needs rest.

0:21:20 Carly: Lean into the natural. You’re gonna start to see that you’re actually getting the same amount or more done. But you feel better when you do that intentional rest. And you’re in that follicular phase. You’re in that ovulation phase, that spring that sucks summer. And you just came off of a restful winter and an intentional fall. You’re gonna get so much more done because you’re operating from a. Your cup is full, right? You’re operating from a place of feeling good.

0:21:49 Carly: And so this also is gonna be more productive in the long run because it’s sustainable growth. Okay? This is actually what real consistency looks like. We’ve been taught that consistency is like, again, X input equals X output. You put the same thing in every single day, you get the same output. That’s not true consistency showing up in it for the long term, in it for the long game. It’s like the stock market. You see all these little ebbs and flows and ups and downs, but over the zoomed out picture, there’s still continued growth.

0:22:22 Carly: And so that’s how I want you to see how your bodies are, right? We have these mini ebbs and flows within those 28 days, but it’s allowing us to actually experience real consistency because we’re able to show up month after month, year after year, with our eye on the prize still, because we’re not burned out, because we’re just leaning into the natural rhythms, the natural frequencies. So by doing this, we are starting to actually see the growth and consistency.

0:22:54 Carly: So here’s your homework. Track your cycle. Start today. Then notice your energy. Notice these changes throughout the week. You know, how did I feel last week versus this week? And just choose one small way to work with your body instead of against it. You are not a robot. You are a woman. And that is your magic. Thank you for listening as always. If there’s something that is really landing with you, please share it like it truly means the world to me. Send me a direct message on Instagram, shoot me an email, tag me on Instagram and your story. I love, love, love seeing what lands. It’s really great feedback for me.

0:23:39 Carly: What are your insights? What are your takeaways? And gear up for next week. So part two of feminine freedom, we are diving into home. Okay, Today was about health. The next is about home. And what I mean by this is it’s time to ditch this domestic default that we like to fall into. Okay? We’re gonna talk about how we can make different choices and how we’re gonna embrace the idea of who, not how. And I’m so, so excited for it.

0:24:10 Carly: Thank you guys again for listening, for showing up. I am so excited about this series. I think it’s a super important topic. Again, it’s changed my life and I feel very passionate about it to share with you all because again, most people have no idea how good they’re supposed to feel. And I just want you to know that you can feel better. Things can be easier, okay? There’s flow that can come into our life.

0:24:35 Carly: So as always, stay bold, stay balanced, and I will see you all next week.