Navigating the Newborn Stage as a Father & Entrepreneur

Richard Dodds, founder of Crowned Culture Media LLC, talks about his journey as a podcast producer and newborn father in this episode of the Bringing Up Business podcast with host Kaila Sachse.

Richard & Kaila discuss the challenges of balancing work and parenting, the importance of automation and technology in enhancing productivity, and the need for emotional expression in men. Richard shares insights on the role of media in social justice, the significance of support networks, and the impact of parenthood on perspectives. The conversation emphasizes the value of therapy and mental health support for new parents, as well as the importance of finding the right therapist and building a strong community.

More About Richard Dodds

Richard Dodds is the Founder of Crowned Culture Media LLC, a creative studio that helps authors, speakers, and business leaders amplify their voices through podcast production, branding, and digital storytelling. With over 15 years of experience in multimedia design, video production, and content strategy, Richard has produced hundreds of podcast episodes that span topics from relationships to social justice—each one rooted in thoughtful storytelling and a commitment to authenticity.

Drawing from his background in graphic design, marketing, and even a touch of engineering, Richard brings a unique perspective to every project. He believes media has the power to shape how we see the world—and ourselves—and uses that belief to guide the work he does through Crowned Culture Media.

At the heart of his mission is a deep commitment to building powerful, representative media that reflects the richness of underrepresented communities. Through storytelling, Richard seeks to inspire, connect, and empower—proving that our stories don’t just matter, they move people.

crownedculturemedia.com

@doddsism

doddsism.com

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Transcript

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Thanks. Welcome to the Bringing Up Business podcast, where we talk about business and parenting. I'm your host, Kaila Sachse, owner of a marketing and creative agency called Yumari Digital, and also mom of a toddler who keeps me on my toes. I'm excited to chat with today's inspiring guest, Richard Dodds. Richard is the founder of Crowned Culture Media LLC, where he helps authors, speakers, and business leaders amplify their voices through podcast production, branding, and digital storytelling. With over 15 years of experience in multimedia design and content strategy, he's produced hundreds of podcast episodes on topics ranging from relationships to social justice. His mission is to create powerful Media that inspires, connects, and elevates voices from underrepresented communities. He is also a new dad of a newborn baby, Thank you for having me I'm happy to be here Yes, yes, yes, yes. So right now, right this second, your daughter is eight weeks old. Yes, yes, yes. Trying to trying to get her to sleep all the way through the night. Ooh, so I kind of hate to pop your burst or bubble, but that's not going to happen for a while. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Of course, I'm to send you all the good vibes and hope that that happens like tonight. Oh, my goodness. How has that been? Well, let's walk through your journey. What came first, your work or your daughter based on your intro? We already know the answer to that, but let's let's discuss your story. How did it start? Well, you know, sometimes like I've been one of those people that always wanted to have their own. I've never, it's just something that I knew that would always come. Initially, when I first started my side work, the side work was just doing websites. And that started many years ago because I was in a job where I got to do graphic design, but I didn't get to do the website stuff that I love. So since my job wasn't filling my bucket, I said, why not be creative and also make a little bit of extra money. on the side by doing these websites. So that kind of helped fill my bucket because it was something that I could do that I love to do. It kept me energized and it kept me creative. um After a while, after doing that for a little while, I started to get into podcasting. So I started to like study podcasting. So listening to podcasts, studying it, figuring out how to execute. And I think my biggest regret back then was taking so long to try to prepare. and learning, I wish I had just started. I spent a lot of time learning it instead of starting it. And so, until I was ready to launch and I kind of dragged my feet, like we kind of talked about it before, but I tend to be a perfectionist and sometimes a little bit of a control freak. But you know, we're working through it. Yeah, so I'm working through it. But like trying to be a perfectionist, like delay me starting a lot. Like I started a lot later than I would have. And then. The funny thing is, kind of like one of my phrases is that you learn more in the doing than you do in the planning. So all the planning that I did kind of went out the window as soon as I launched because I learned something every single time I published the episode. So I was doing both for a while. Like the big podcast that I did was like one, it was like about relationships and it got pretty popular. And I just learned so much from doing that. And it kind of was like. I was still working a full-time job. I was doing the websites, and I was doing the podcasting. I kind of had to pick one because you only have so many hours in a day. If I kept doing everything, then I would do nothing. So I picked podcasting. And was like, it was a hard choice just because I was making really good money doing websites on the side. And for the longest time, I never saw any money in podcasting. But I think in the long run, it'll pay off. you quit your job and you stopped the side hustle of websites and chose podcasting? I stay with my job. I like so the job, the job, like even still to this day, like I'm still currently working like a nine to five. The job for me is just a thing that helps fund my dreams. And now luckily, I'm in a position where I don't need it to fund my dreams anymore. It just pays my mortgage. So it's kind of like that. You get that relief and it's just kind of like that balancing act. So before a daughter is You work your nine to five, and then you get off of work, and then you eat, and then you work on your business. And you work on your business till late, and then you go get in the bed, and then you wake up and you start the day over. Now with her, it's a whole nother song and dance, I'll tell you that. man, I remember personally the transition from working for myself only to now working for my toddler who's definitely my new boss. He is in charge, not me. And the time difference really does shift. When I was working solely for myself, it would be 10, 12 hour days. Some days were lighter if I chose to because that's the beauty of working for yourself. get to choose, right? But now with my mini boss, I've had to learn how to compress my time and focus on what actually moves the needle instead of the busy fluffy work that I don't necessarily need to be doing. I can either cut it out completely or delegate it. Have you noticed a difference in the way that you are treating your work time? What does that look like now that you have a little one? think one of the biggest thing that I've tried to find a balance with, especially since I'm still working a full-time job as well. It's just trying to make sure that I recharge my batteries. That's kind of number one, because I'm not good for my nine to five. I'm not good for my business. I'm not good for my daughter. I'm not good for my wife if my batteries are completely empty. So it's just making sure that, yes, I want to finish doing this edit, but I probably need to go to sleep early, or I need to just read a book, or need to play a video game, or whatever it is just to relax. I feel like I prioritize that a lot more just so I am not upset my daughter is crying and wakes me up or she's getting fussy and I'm washing her. ah The other thing that I've done is kind of like multitasking, figuring out what tasks can be done while I'm spending time with my daughter. So if I'm watching my daughter and she's sleeping, maybe instead of going down to my studio, I'm on my laptop working on some clerical tasks that I can do while watching my infant daughter. And just trying to figure that out. When you do that, it's like kind of combining the things together. It kind of has helped me be a little bit more focused because those times where I might not have been doing anything are been in between, it gives me time to spend with my daughter. Because my daughter is first, so she starts moving around too much or something like that. I'm closing the laptop lid, and I'm playing with my daughter. But when she's asleep, it gives me enough time to be able to sort through some stuff, figure out some tasks that I can do. Even I'm such a task person. So I love making lists, because I love checking stuff off. It's just the way that my crazy mind works. It's like, I got to check it off. I got to check it off. So being able just to make a list is so helpful. because I feel like if I take a minute to recharge, plan out my week better, then I'm not just running around with empty motion. Because I think a lot of times we do empty motion to where we're moving for moving sake, but we're not actually getting anywhere. It's like running on a treadmill. And I'm actually trying to get somewhere. So it's like trying to make sure that whatever movement I'm taking is moving me forward and not just moving me in a circle. Yes, oh man, that so deeply resonates. I am the kind of person where I cannot rely on my brain. I don't know if part of this is mom brain or just like a little bit of sleep deprivation or what, but my memory just isn't the same anymore. And so if I write it down though, and I put it in a calendar and I list it out, it will get done because it's a visual, it could help me, it's something I can refer back to. And I have a ritual every morning of checking my calendar, what's ahead of me for the day, making sure I attend those things, making sure I have notifications turned on, by the way, for my calendar events to remind me to show up to the thing. then, you know, with the lists, I use Google Tasks to help jot all those down. over time, it becomes a fluid system. It might not... There might be a learning curve with learning these technologies and figuring them out and making them work for you. But after you do, man, your brain can actually think. It's so helpful. And you and I were talking about automation before. Let's talk about that a little bit. What is something that you've automated that has helped you? See, I've tried to automate it as much as I can, just because now with technology, I can do a lot more of a lift working solo without having to outsource. Obviously, things that take the biggest amount of time, when you can't, you outsource editing. editing takes a lot of time, and it's not the most romantic job of the things that you do. I love producing with my clients, recording them being on calls just like this. and helping them get through questions and do things like that. That's the fun part. But so as far as automation goes, first I had to get really organized. So I had to find the programs and the apps that worked and helped me get organized. So Google Workplace has helped out a lot. Also, would say Notion, learning Notion helped out a ton. And Zapier, I think that's how you pronounce it, Zapier, for that automation. If then, then that. has helped out a little bit. Just because like the first biggest thing was the automation of the calendar. One of my client as a business person and they have a business calendar and I'm a busy person and I have three calendars that I have to look at. I have to look at the family calendar, their work calendar, and then also like the personal calendar. It's like finding systems that integrate all of those so that if somebody's schedules to be on one of my clients shows that it's the time that I'm available and it's the time that they're available. So I think that was like the first biggest automation that I did was just like figuring out that calendar part so that we weren't like, hey, are you available this day? Let me check my calendar. No, I'm not available this day. What about this day? Having it so that like clients can like really get in there and figure out what days we are available. What days can we have guests? What days can we do this and just have it simple? So we're dealing with the call me to just go to the site, click the button and add it in. That's Clutch. We kind of talked about it earlier. One of the newest automations was like when we have a guest now sending out the automatic emails and then also sending out a Google form. So instead of me at the beginning of episodes, I'd be like, hey, so I'm the producer. You know, you introduce yourself and you ask them for all this stuff. what's your LinkedIn? What can you give me a photo? Can you do this? Do you acknowledge that you're on on this show willingly? So I just did a Google form. So it's just send them to the Google form. They fill it out automatically goes into a notion database. And that just makes it so much easier for everybody because we all have access to the information that's there. And it automatically goes in there. It's not something that I'm spending time manually entering myself. So it's just so many different things, like whether even like show notes and show titles for those clients that I manage that stuff for, or if I'm doing a podcast for myself, just teaching chat GPT and different AI programs how to write the show notes the way that you want them. It's just clutch. Like if you set it up so it's like, hey, this is how I want them written. And then you can have it automatically go through your notes, rearrange them, because the way my mind works, I'm very particular. So I like things a certain way. So it's like being able to have a technology that can reorganize my thoughts into a way that is usable right away. It saves me a ton of time too. So. It sounds like I've heard this before. You have to train chat GBT to get used to you and your flow. It's, it's almost never right out of the, right out the gate, perfect to what you want. You have to kind of train it. So there is a little bit of that, that learning curve for chat GPT. And then as far as all of the, the automations go, you have a little bit of learning curve in, learning the softwares and getting used to them and seeing how they interact with all of your other things. But. that, it's like a Swiss army knife because it's a million different things that'll work. It's like, it's no right answer. And I think a lot of times in society, we always look for that one right answer. No, it's 5,000 right answers. You just gotta find the thing that resonates with the way that you think. And that's kind of what took me the longest. Like I think I said, I like to use things three. Like things three, like when I saw it, that resonated with the way that my mind works from a checklist point of view. So I was like, okay, I can use this. And I think the important thing is not getting stuck on, well, this works for Sharon, this works for Johnny. Like what works for you? Like, and that was my biggest thing. So I tried many things until I found that one thing that really got me over to the next thing. So like finding notion, for instance. And those things like the basic plan is like, free. You don't even have to pay for it. So, and there's so much you can do with it. So was like, once I did that and you learn it and you spend the time to learn it, you learn it once, but then it saves you hours. That is great advice. And from a high level view, the point of automating is that you don't have to the task. Software and technology will handle that task for you. So for example, if somebody wants to book a time with you, instead of doing the back and forth, they can hop into your calendar link, calendar link, and book a time based on the availability that you set for it. That's just one example of many for different automations. And for people who don't know what notion is and things three, just a really quick, what are those about? So I don't really even know how to describe notion per se, but notion is a little bit of everything. Like it's like, when I say like a Swiss army knife, it kind of is that because it can be so many different things, but it is a way to organize thoughts. It's a way to input data. is a, so it can be a checklist. It can be like a journal. It could be like a recipe book. You can really make it into whatever you want. And that was like the hardest part for me to grasp because I'm used to having like, it'd be one thing. But it can be so many things. Things Three is more straightforward. It's a productivity app. And it has checklists where you can do projects. And I like to segment things together. So it's like home projects, client one, client two, client three, then checklists in between those. And then you can add them. I like the feature that I really like in there is that you can add uh dates to it. And it can actually go on your actual calendar. But I just really just love looking at the checklists. I have a vision on my home screen with one of my checklists that at the beginning of the week, you know, I like to sit down, figure out what I want to do. And I'll say like early week by midweek, by the weekend, on the weekend stretch. So I'll put stuff into categories and I rotate them out during the week just to make sure that I'm standing on top. So it's easier to have like moving targets, like where I have like things that I can stretch to then they'll be like, if I didn't do all 18 of these things, like Monday, like I felt like I like being able to move them around a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like there's, there's flexibility there and you're giving yourself grace, which is a huge part of parenting and being a business owner. There's so much to do and handle. And especially with, with parenting, there are so many things that can happen that are unexpected. And so you can't micromanage every minute of your day. You just have to allow that flexibility. So it's really cool that you're giving yourself grace. with your checklist. You're not saying like Monday, all 18 things, if I don't do it, I'm an utter failure and I need to quit now. Right. I mean, it took me a long time to get to the point where I set realistic expectations. And I mean, like the thing that they don't really tell you when you first have a child is that you got crazy doctor's appointments. You just go into the doctor all the time. like going back to that calendar thing, it's like it's so essential for me to be able to like my wife can put on a family calendar that we have a doctor's appointment and it blocks off my work calendar. So being able to the old system up was so important because that's one less thing for me to worry about. I don't have to go when somebody's scheduled and say, oh, like, I'm so sorry. Like, I have to cancel. Just put it in the calendar and you're good to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's huge. At what point do you know when it's time to use technology for something? So instead of you doing it, how do you know, okay, I need the things through this, need to chat GPT this, I need to use some sort of new technology. Maybe it's something you haven't even heard of before, different technology, you have to shop around. Like, how do you know? When is the time? I think it's always fun to try new stuff. And I think at the end of the day, if you can, it's like a lot of times you can do stuff for free. Like you can at least try it out for free or you can try it out for a low monthly rate. I think for me, it's just important to try it, see if it helps take away my burden or if it's more work than it's worth. And then you kind of do that cost benefit analysis of it. Like, is this the amount of money that I'm going to pay for this going to make it so that I'm saving time or is it not? So I think it's just like about trying. I'm kind of like a tech head. Like I love to pay attention to technology, see what's coming out and like giving it a try. Like even when like I do video and like you know you do the video podcast. like some of the hosts that you use, they will give you clips. But before that, like before some of them started doing the clips. I found a program that helped me make my clips instead of doing them manually. So instead of spending two hours going through clipping episodes manually and then adding subtitles, I feed it into a system and a clip. That was worth it.$20 a month, $30 a month, yeah, that's worth it. That's saving me two hours per episode. It's kind of like trial and error. You kind of see what can help you and what cannot. And then you get rid of those tasks or menial if you can give them to like AR or some kind of other system or like those really uh tasks that you don't necessarily like doing or you might not be a skilled to if you have the capital. Then that's when you pay somebody to do those things. Right. Right. You bring up such an excellent business point where it's how much theoretically would I pay myself to per hour. Right. And then how much time am I spending on this task in hours? Is it worth it for me to be doing it? Or should I be doing the upper level business stuff, doing the sales, doing the things that actually move the needle and offload this, this other task that isn't quite paying the bills. Right? So for $20 a month, are you spending that? Like, it like, doesn't even make sense for you to be doing the tasking or finding the clips out of a podcast. Probably not. It actually makes more sense for you to pay that $20 a month. And I say that because people get tripped up on money. And what we're not recognizing is that money is a tool. Money helps us get from point A to point B. And it's, it's something that we can always make more up. you cannot get back. And that's something that becomes very evident when you have a kid. Yeah, for sure. like whenever you can do that. And on top of that, like one of the things I always tell like my clients, if I'm insulting a client, whether it's marketing, when it was graphic design or web design, it's like, hey, like maybe you're really good at making clothes. If you're really good at making clothes, can do clothes and you can do it quickly, you can do it efficiently, you do a great job at it. But you're not good at websites. You could do websites, but it's gonna take you 10 times longer than me and 10 times longer that you're spending, you're not making clothes. So hire me to do that part that I'm really good at. that I can do quickly and I can do at a higher level quicker than you can. And you focus on the things that are your core competency. I really like standing in your zone of excellence. If you're really good at something, I like to stay in that zone as much as I can. And it's like what makes some businesses fail and some ventures fail is when you spend so much time out of your zone of excellence, the thing that gives you the energy that you love to do and you're spending stuff on menial tasks. I've seen so many people be good at business. They are good at graphic design. or whatever it might be and they start their own business but they can't do it because I don't like finance and I don't like marketing and those are the things that you could have took part of your profits and gave it away to somebody else and then you could have just focused on the things that you love. Yep, well said. How do you know when you are in your zone of excellence? You mentioned energy, right? How does it feel in your body, in your mind? If you're doing something that's in your zone of excellence versus outside of your zone of excellence, how do you know the difference? Yeah, it is really like a feeling for me. I kind of put it like you feel fulfilled more when you're doing something that you really love and that you're in your zone. Like I almost say like you're everybody is called to something like it's not the same thing. Some people call it to act. Some people call it to cook. But when you really find that thing, like it doesn't matter if you're not doing that thing, you could be as busy as you want to be and feel empty. But when you really find that thing, it's a different kind of joy that you get that that just kind of fills you up. It fills up your cup, even though you're pouring so much into it, it's almost like you're getting filled right back up. So that's that's how I know when I'm in my zone. I know when I'm not in my zone, when I get real tired. I'm like, man, do I really have to finish this? Like, I got to get it done. But, know. Like I like to focus on like the things that I do really, really well uh and try to automate as much stuff as I can outside of that or think about shipping it off to somebody else to be able to do that so I can stay. And the things that keep you energized because... You know, when my daughter was born, it gave me more purpose in my side business, more so than my even job, right? So the side business is supposed to, I'm growing it so that it can eventually take over my normal finances. And you you kind of, have to work it up. Like you like bootstrapping it and. Having someone that I can teach these things to show them how to do it, one day they could possibly inherit it if that is her choice, if she wants to be able to teach her that stuff, that puts a little bit more pressure on it. It makes it more meaningful because it's like, all right, now I'm not just doing this for myself. I'm not just doing it for money. And by the way, I always encourage people, if you're going to do something strictly for money, you probably should do something else. So like. It just adds that little extra incentive to be able to do it and do it well and really work hard at it. It's so true. Let's be clear, money is very important. Money helps us secure the place that we live, it helps us eat, it helps us with those basics, and it also affords us a life that feels free. We can explore any idea that we want because of money. And also, like you said, if we get trapped in doing something purely for money, we find ourselves doing the task but we feel tired and worn out and maybe we get grouchy, we're not reacting well to the task, then it's not a proper fit. Maybe you could start doing it, doing the thing for money for a little bit, but eventually you're gonna burn out. It's not sustainable. in the side hustle nature, like if you're doing something, especially like if you're already doing a job, like, and you're doing a side hustle, don't do like I would suggest I always encourage people not to do it. Like if it was just solely for the money, if you like, if you won't say, I want to get into podcasting for the money, then you're going to be highly disappointed because it takes like to make money. It takes a while. You got to really like know how to like one, you got to have the knowledge. And then two, you gotta have the audience. And it takes a while to grow the audience. So if you think you're coming in to get rich to be the next Joe Rogan, there's only one Joe Rogan, guys. There's only one. So if that's the only reason you're doing it, that's why I said, whether it's web design, whether it's coding, whatever it might be, whenever people ask me, it's like, if you don't have some kind of passion for it, code will make you pull your hair out, because you have a semicolon and a wrong place. and it will crash everything and you will be looking through it for five hours just to find this semicolon being in the wrong spot. Yes. Oh, man. that's Zooming out, if you're going to take on any sort of business venture, just know that it's going to require some love, some deep love, and maybe even a why, a reason. Why are you doing the thing that you're doing? It sounds like for you, you are doing your side hustle to leave a legacy for your daughter, whether or not she picks that up or whatever it is that it leaves behind for her. Yeah, not only for my daughter though, for myself really. Like you really just want to be a person that your child can be proud of. You live this life and like when you're gone, like you leave people with a memory and it's kind of like you start to think about your own mortality whenever you have losses or even when you have births. Like when the birth of my daughter made me think about the mortality of my family members. Yeah. you really start to think about when I leave here, if I left here now, what would people think? What would people say? What would be my legacy? What would be the things that people remember me for? Seeing everything that's been going on in the world and knowing how much Media plays a role. and everything that's going on, I thought it was really important for me to be able to give my voice. Initially, it was for me to give my voice to different issues, to be able to speak out, whether it's relationships, whether it's social justice, to be able to create a platform for myself. And then creating a platform for myself, I understood how powerful my voice could be, or a voice could be, even a small voice. Because even if you get 20 listens on an episode, think about 20 people in a room. That's a lot of people that you've reached. uh the seed theory says that you might plant a seed in someone that they plant in somebody else, and then it sprouts all over the place. thinking about the people that don't always get a voice and thinking about the people who don't have ownership, it's like we don't always see other people's point of view. And as a black man, I know a lot of people don't necessarily, unless you're a black man or a black woman, you really don't get my point of view. But even me as a black man, I don't always get a black woman's point of view because the things that a black man goes through is one thing, the things that a woman of any color goes through, it's a completely different thing. And it's just paying attention to that. I have a daughter. If I can use my voice and help elevate other voices that help make this world just a little bit better for her, then it's worth it. It's worth it. Oh, that is so beautiful. Has having a daughter shifted the way that you view the female experience in any way? Now that's a deep question. no, you're good. Has having a daughter shifted the way that you viewed the female experience on this planet, in business, in parenting? I would say yes and no. um Spent a lot of time with my mom growing up, like my parents were together, but my mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked a lot. So growing up, I was around my mom and my older sister a lot. So I got to see things that they went through and got their point of views. I kind of already had, thankfully, and I'm very thankful for it, I kind of already had an idea of what a lot of women go through and then you add on minority women. I got to see that firsthand from spending so much time with them. So it's like a lot of things that don't make. Since the meeting, I see that like even my wife was something I was like, that's crazy. Thinking about like having a daughter, like it deepens that even more. I think it makes makes the way that I think about everything even more like the way the women are treated, the way the minorities are treated, like, you know, all the plight and things that are going on all around the world, really. And like, I mean, like during the election, like I was in Germany and I was thinking about like, what kind of world do I want to leave for my daughter? And I'm over there by myself and my daughter hadn't been born yet. And I'm like, man, what kind of world am I leaving for my daughter? I really want to leave a world that uplifts her. And I don't have to worry about her as much. And I think one of the things I was very telling is that they were doing an interview with women. And they were like, what would you do if there was no men in the world? And they were like, oh, I would go on a jog at night. And just the things that they talked about. that's one of reasons why I went into Media just because getting other people's perspective is so eye-opening because thinking about going outside at night or being able to jog or go to your car safely, most men are not thinking about being worried about going to our cars at night. So it's like having a daughter now, it opens up my perspective. It reminds me, even having a wife. It just reminds me of all the things that there are some horrible things that are going on. And the way that I analyze everything, like, because I have a marketing background, I look at the way that people are portrayed in movies, men and women, minorities. I look at the way that people are portrayed in the general Media. I'm talking about news Media, cable Media. And it was really a disparity with the way that minorities are portrayed in fiction and nonfiction and the way that women are portrayed. And I always say that you learn more from what people do than what people say. Yeah. there's so many times where, whether the Media or the world, like the world, they don't have to say it directly, but it's so many ways that they tell you, like what they expect from you, or what's okay and what's not okay. And that is not a message of equal. Like some people get away with more and it's just so much inequality and it's so unfair. So it's like, maybe if we get more perspectives out there, we get people to think outside of themselves. Because I don't think most people are inherently evil and that they want everybody to be wrong. They just don't see it because you get so caught in your bubble that you think that everybody has grown up like you and had the same advantages or disadvantages and same life experiences that you can live next door to somebody. mean like shoot you can live you can be in the same family somebody and y'all lived experiences can be completely different. And that is just why the Media is so important, like being able to tell stories and not censor it and have them be able to tell it in their own words. Because I think it's important for us to be able to tell stories in our own words. 1000%. That is, it's so beautiful and so important. There was something about having a son that opened up my eyes to what men go through. Because currently the conversation is about what women are going through and for many reasons. could dive down that rabbit hole, but what we're not seeing is what men are going through as well. And I am more than ever aware of how I speak to my son and treat him. It's the whole like, don't cry, stop crying, that stuff, Like instead allowing him to express himself fully. You know, I find myself getting a little bit of a bristle effect when he's upset. And part of that is a self-consciousness. I enough as a mom? If I was a better mom, would he be upset right now? Like I do a little bit of that ego dance. Then also it's that, my God, my kid is crying, he's upset. Is he going to go out into the world and be this crybaby? Is he going to be that boy that's less valued? And I just kind of go down this ugly trap of thinking that's... definitely cultured and taught and the ability to zoom out and say, okay, hold on a second. He's just a human baby having a moment. That's it. It's not about me. It's not going to affect his future, him having this moment. And if anything, being able to express himself is going to help him in the future. Yeah, I think it's so powerful when we think about our kids because how we treat them is going to determine how they treat the rest of the world and how they view the rest of the world. Because I think my mom did such a job of changing the way that I look at everything. And it's times where I know that. I'm not going to be able to keep my daughter from pain, whether it's emotional or physical. Sometimes, all of us have to go through painful moments. And trying to shield her from that will only make it harder for her to realize how to handle those situations in the future. So it's like, that's probably like one of the hardest things, like knowing that it's times where she's going to have to feel things and I can't stop her from feeling that because she needs to feel it. So she needs to know how to handle it. And, Thinking about like even perspectives, like one of the most powerful interviews I did is I talked to two white parents that adopted two black children and talked to them how that shifted their perspective because they had to look at the view, the view of the world through their eyes instead of their eyes, which is completely different. like looking at the world through my daughter's eyes, are you looking through the world through your son's eyes and knowing that the stuff that you do now is gonna affect the way that he's gonna. I mean, stuff that you do now will affect how he treats women and men and everybody. So it's just being mindful, especially when it comes to emotions. You said, like, you talked about crying. Like, men in general, we're taught not to cry. And it's like, men typically, like, on average die quicker than women for a multitude of reasons. And I feel like not being able to express our emotions is one of it because we don't even know how to distinguish between emotions a lot of times. Like we know angry, we know pissed off and all of that, but we don't know like when we're depressed or we don't know when we're anxious because though we don't have a, we're not always given a chance to process those emotional emotions in a healthy, safe way so that when they happen, it's like you gotta be tough. And if you're always tough, you still feel your feelings, you just hold them in and then that ends up having a physical effect on your body. So yeah. know what was fascinating to me? So husband and I go through all the prenatal appointments. He's there for every, every scan. I mean, he was right by my side. Thank God. I go through birth and which by the way, with birth, I prepped him. was like, look, man, this is, this is going to be something neither of us have ever experienced before. From what I've learned with birthing in a hospital, it's know, birthing in hospital in America isn't going to be a walk in the park. There are going to be people pushing me to do things during a moment when I'm most vulnerable. And husband, he's going to be vulnerable too, right? He's watching me go through this wild experience. And I can only imagine what was going through his head. And so, you know, he and I, get through birth together. And then six weeks after I give birth, there's that... postpartum appointment that every mom should have with her OB. Mine was in the form of a phone call by a nurse who was not my OB. Right, right. You just like squint your eyebrows. Yeah, right. That was my same exact reaction when I answered the phone. And I realized that that was my appointment was like, what? And so we go through, we go through this appointment. Then she asked me at the end, like, how are you feeling? I was like, honestly, I want to throw myself through a wall. I exhausted every day. And what I mean by throw myself through walls, like not show up the next morning. Like I want to be done with this process. am so, I'm so tapped out. And it was confusing because they tell you during pregnancy, hey, the first two weeks after birth, they're going to be hard. You're going to feel going to feel baby blues. And then after that, things should lighten up. My experience was completely opposite. first two weeks were blue lit. I was on top of the world. And then the- in and I completely lost myself. And so she, she is asking me that screening question, which I realized was a mental health question. And I tell her that, you know, that truth, I went through myself through a wall and she's like, Oh, well, you know, you're a new mom. It's hard. You'll get over it. And that's when I realized, okay, all of the advocating that I had to do for myself in the delivery room, I now have to apply postpartum. And so long story short, I end up vouching for myself. I get an office appointment, I'm diagnosed with postpartum depression. I can then work through that. What was curious to me though, I'll say even more curious to me because that whole experience was wild. Like why was there not more care? around someone who just went through a very physical event, but zero screening was done for my husband. Zero. Nobody checked in on him. Dad, how are you doing? What pressures are you feeling? Yeah. That is actually something that I can like truly relate to just because I think. I can speak for the people that worked with my wife. They did like an amazing job of checking on her and making sure that she had what she needed, making sure that she had people to talk to after everything was going on. But like as a father, I really, one, I felt unprepared because like we're told, like we know how much the women go through. it's like, words don't even do it justice what you guys go through. Doesn't even do it justice no matter how many books you read, no matter how much you prepare. you'll never be ready for the things that you women have to go through during childbirth. So like I was prepared for my wife to be emotional, her hormones to be going up and down just because she had a baby in her one minute. Now we're holding the baby, but everything is still transforming in her body. She my daughter in her stomach for nine months, right? So I was prepared for that, but I wasn't prepared for the emotions that I felt. And it's a... And it's actually like, I've actually been thinking about, I probably will be producing a show about like my experience just cause I want to do something kind of almost like a support group for like new dads. But like just because they don't talk about it. And it's like, I think part of it, we don't want to talk about it just because we don't want to take any shine away from like the wonderful moms, you know? But like at the same time, it's like, we do have to take care of ourselves as well to be able to be there in a proper way. But I struggle so much and The way that the system works is that it's almost set up for us to like immediately go back to what we're doing, whether it's work or whatever. And for you guys to stay with the baby and to take care of the baby. it's automatic. Like you automatically start to feel that disconnect. So when I did it, my nine to five, I got two weeks off pay, but I was able to take a month off. So I got four, I took off four weeks. But only two weeks of that was paid. So that was like, woo, that's tough. So I took four weeks off on my nine to five. I took two weeks off on my side hustle just because I had clients who needed me. And that was like one thing, like learning that balance because especially like if that had have been my sole income, like my side hustle, then I might have would have had to figure it out something else just because if you don't hunt, you don't eat. Yeah. not hunting, you're not eating. So that was a balance in itself and that was something that I wasn't expecting. But like, you know, those feelings, those emotions, like they never tell you because like when I started going back to work on the side hustle, I felt so much guilt that I was like, am I not doing enough for my wife and my daughter? am I being like, am I like deadbeat? So you deal with so many emotions and it's like trying to make sure that I have like a current therapist that I could go talk to. was like so, it was like so important just because they don't focus on the man. And I mean, as they should, like, I don't think that it should be like the spotlight shouldn't be on them, but I think we need to do a better job of preparing like men for what they're going to experience. Just because like I saw like my wife cut, you know what I mean? So we had a C-section, so I saw my wife cut and I saw like blood and like I saw them sew her back up. That is an experience. Like, you know what I mean? And you're not quite prepared for it. So, but yeah, so, but like they don't, it doesn't matter what they say, they can't prepare you, but then they do not check on you. Like the first nurse that we had was like, I'm not here for you. I'm here for mama and baby. And you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of mama and baby. And she didn't mean it in a malicious way, but kind of like when I said that the world will set you in a position that they want you to be, whether they use the words or say it directly or not. It was kind of like, you're not important in this process. And you just get off to the side and all you're here for is to take care of them and exist. So like that, like that was like the start of everything. That was the first nurse and I was like, dang, I'll be like five hours old and I'm already hearing this. And it's like, yes, I want you to focus on them. And I didn't even ask you that. Like you would have been better off saying nothing. you know, I'm just saying nothing to me. I'm here for them. So yeah, it was very... Yeah, it was very tough. mean, like, I don't take anything away from my wife because I know it was way tougher for her, but it was tough for me too. And the thing is, like with us, you know, we just try to tough it out. It's like, all right, we're going to be strong. And like on the inside, it was crushing. And it's like talking to my wife, she helped me work through it a lot. You know, it's still pretty fresh, but she helped me work through it a lot uh because like I was not dealing with it well at first because you feel like you're iced out. Like I have to go back to work. I'm working. like, you know, eight hours plus side hustle. And it's like, and she's still there with the baby 24 seven and that's expected. And it's like, wow, we're not expected to do more. I'm not expected to do more for my daughter right now, just because I got to go back to work. It's just tough. It is tough. That's a whole thing. it's, it's, while it's beautiful to hear that your wife was there for you and she was able to help you through it, it's also disheartening to hear that she essentially was the only one to help you through it. There weren't any professionals to help you through it. So while she's busy healing, she's eight weeks, it's still fresh. She is still healing. Her body will still be healing for a while. for a long, long, mean, I forget what the numbers are. They say like, two and a half years after C-section. Like it's the long, it's a long time. I didn't have a C-section, but I still feel like I'm balancing, figuring out my new body, the way that things shifted. So here she is, she gives birth. She's dealing with that physical healing, that mental healing, and she's also helping you through it as well. If that isn't uh a glaring example for why husbands and in general non-birthing partners should receive support, I don't know what is because the onus is going to go back on the birthing partner to be able to step in and help. Yeah, and I mean, you know, like it's always great to have a good partner, like anything, like my wife is my biggest fan. Like she always encourages me to like, she understood like, yeah, you gotta, you're building this thing and it's a decent size now, but like you gotta get bigger. You know what I mean? So I gotta go work so she understands and she encourages me. But at the same time it is, it is hard, like when both of us are sad, like trying to help the other person while you're sad and. Like you can't even, like it's kind of like when I talked about like getting that rest, like when your battery is empty, it's like both of our batteries are empty and we're still trying to charge each other. It's tough. Yeah. And then you need support. You need support. And yeah, it's just really important to get support. And it was hard for me to go back. Like I've had therapists before, but it was hard for me to, it's just that hump of going to find one. And, luckily we found one. It's like, all right, this at least gives me a little bit. Cause it's like, Sometimes you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world. And then a nine to five, and then the business, and then the business takes on more pressure because I have a daughter now. Everything takes on more pressure because like I have this little one that's looking at me to provide for her. So it's all these things that's on your shoulders, like at least being able to talk to somebody for like an hour a week kind of helps you work through that stuff, at least mentally get it out and at least say some things out loud in an honest way. I think that's important in business, whether you have kids or not, like just because running a business by itself, whether you're doing it part-time, whether you're doing it full-time, it's a tremendous task. And then like the world itself right now is a crazy place and it can be a tremendous task too. You start to think about marginalized community, whether you're like African-American or even if you're a woman, if you're Native American, anything, you know, any kind of minority at all. you get that extra kind of weight that you have to carry too. And that never goes away. It's something that you always carry with you. So it's just really important to make sure that you check in on your mental state because I don't like when you're in a bad place, you don't work as well. Just like when you're tired, you don't work as well and start to show up in your work and then it can affect your business. What is something that you would recommend for somebody to do to check in with themself? How does one do that if you're not used to doing that? I think first the very most important thing is having somebody like an accountability partner, like whether it's your actual partner, like your husband or wife or a good friend or even a parent. Like I think it's important to have someone who knows you at base, knows when you're happy and knows when you say that you're okay. If you're not okay, they can tell the difference. I think that's very important because it's easier to lie to ourselves than it is to anybody else. Yes, it is. somebody who can kind of like hold you accountable. Cause I'd be like, I'm fine, I'm fine. I tell my wife I'm fine. And she'd be like, nah, I don't believe you. But I can tell myself that I'm fine. And I'm like, I'm fine, right? And she'd be like, no, you're not fine. The other thing that I would say is that like, I pick it up and I put it down sometimes, but like being able to journal and self reflect is another good one. Just because like you need a place where you can be honest and kind of put your thoughts down on paper. And sometimes you can read back like, wow, like something's wrong. And it's like for me, like I kind of have tales. Like when something's going on with me, like my space would be junky. Like I'm a very like, I have to have things a particular way. Have to have like, the pictures have to be like hung a certain way. Everything has to be good. For me to like be okay. And like I told my wife very early on, like if you come to my house and it's junky, something's wrong with me. Just check on me. Cause it's like, it's like, like to have it neat. So I think that, and then therapy is always good. And like at the very least having somebody that you can just talk to, that's maybe not a therapist. I think the reason I advocate for therapy so much is because they're trained to be able to help you through certain stuff. Good friends are good too. Just, you just need to be able to speak your truth, whether it's writing it down or talking to somebody. Talking to a professional would probably be the best though. Yeah, yeah. What I've noticed is the difference between talking with, say, my best friend versus a therapist is that my best friend will get riled up if something is upsetting me. Like if somebody's like hurt me, now my best friend is upset at that person. And now we're like getting into like that territory, whereas a therapist can listen without any judgment and just help me unpack. whatever it is that is actually bothering me. It's not whatever the person said or I don't know, my son crying and having a tantrum today, what's actually underneath that? What is the root cause? And that is the benefit of a therapist. There are many, but that's one that I've found. If I can ask you, how did you and your wife find your therapist? What does that process look like? This time around, like I've done a couple of different ways, but this time around we did like an app. We just found this app that she had looked into that took our insurance. And like, it's just a small copay, but having it be like technology and know like kind of like we're uh thousands of miles apart right now, hundreds of miles apart, being able to talk. So being able to talk to somebody and still be able to do it in the comfort of your home, being able to do it without like having to drive anywhere, that makes it a lot easier. uh we found a reputable app. You know, we did our research, of course. But then being able to find that app, that's probably the easiest way to do it. Because, you know, sometimes I have times too, like it's, I think this is relatable for creatives because we don't work in a straight line. And a lot of times, like, especially like when you're in a nine to five, we're, we're, are forced to work in a straight line. So it's like a lot of times if you let us just walk around the building, like kick our shoes up, lay on our back for a little bit while. play a video game, read a book, listen to music and then come back, we'll be able to do it like that. But if you force me to sit there, it's gonna take a lot longer. know, figuring that out helps out a lot too. Like figuring out, yeah. Yeah, yeah, having a Zoom therapist has been a game changer for us too, because we can just like, we don't have to, like you said, we don't have to drive anywhere. I've also found that the cost is a lot lower too. Maybe it's like physical cost of having a Lisa building versus not, I don't know. That's been my experience. Yeah, but that's really cool. worth it though. It's definitely worth it if you can, cause I know a lot of like, depending on insurance, you can't get it relatively inexpensive or sometimes if you have really good insurance, they'll cover it. But yeah, I mean, but in the long run, it definitely is something that you shouldn't invest with because like the way I put it is like, you go to the doctor to get a checkup on your body. Like you gotta get a checkup on your mind too. That's important. Yep, yep, yep, a thousand percent. And you know what? Therapy, I'll say before I started going to therapy, I looked at it as like, okay, I'm going to therapy and I'm going to be in therapy forever, right? But therapy doesn't have to necessarily be every month or every week for the rest of your life. can be a temporary solution, not temporary solution, but it can be temporary to help you get through an issue and you walk away with those gems for the rest of your life, you don't necessarily have to see a therapist for the rest of your life. And obviously case by case, I'm not a doctor, can't tell you whether or not therapy for the rest of your life is for you or not. But what I'm saying is that you don't have to look at therapy as this huge expense on your life, but instead look at it as an asset. Like you said, it's helpful for us, it can help us work through things. oh moving forward instead of holding in and eventually exploding in one way or another. Yeah, I think, and I think like, you know, therapists are kind of like, like the productivity apps that I talked about too. Like just because you get one therapist does not mean all those therapists, all therapists are not created equal. So if like one doesn't work for you, don't give up on therapy, maybe give up on that therapist and find another one. But yeah, it's like, it's not one size fits all for sure. You got to find someone that works for you and Like, know, like if you need somebody that's stern, you need to find someone who's stern and talk to you like, and on the level that you need. Or maybe you're sensitive and you need somebody with a softer touch. You need to find what works for you. So don't give up on it just because you don't like the first person that you found. That's so real. That's so real. I've had a therapist before, I'm like, okay, maybe not. We need to find somebody else. And that's okay. That's okay. Yeah. So aside from your therapist and productivity apps, who else is in your support network? Who's helping you with baby? Who's helping you get through your day to day? What does that look like? Yeah, so like, it's really like been a lot of friends and family, you know, as far as like helping with baby. Like my wife does a great job, you know, and I try to make sure that. I can take my daughter and maybe us go to another room just to give her that time to... Because when women have babies, when you guys have babies, you'll get hypersensitism to every little cool, little like anything like that. So being able to take her out of the room, it's like trying to make sure that I can support her in that way. So when I get off work, I try to go spend time with my daughter. And it's good for me because I get to spend time with my daughter and it's good for me and my wife because my wife gets a minute to breathe where she's not worried about my daughter anymore. at least for a few minutes. And as far as everything, as far as the business goes, I feel like I'm fortunate to be around a lot of like-minded people who want to see me succeed. And I'm friends with a lot of people that are in various steps in their career, like people who've been 100 % solo entrepreneurs for years and some who are pretty new and some that I one of my best friends, I've seen him, we were working together and then he started his own business and he's been doing it ever since. So I have those people where we can help and better each other. So it's things that I know and things that I learned from like my specialties are different than other people's specialties. Like I study finance, I study marketing. So the way that I think about things is going to be different from the way that they think about things. So it's great to be able to have those minds that are thinking about having the business to be able to spit back and forth, spitball back and forth, like, ooh, have we tried this? Like, thinking about a friend of mine who has his own studio, it's like, hey, did you think about having an event? And then instead of purchasing food, have it sponsored by somebody down the street who's close to you, and they can provide the food, and they get advertisements from doing that. So it's like, you know, just spitballing ideas, like helping each other. So it's like knowing that, I have a video guy. Like, if I need video, I got a video guy. I need like some custom music so I know somebody who can make custom music. able to just help where I can. then like anybody want to start a podcast and know anything about production, like I can give them tips and they get the tips for free. Other people have to pay me. You know what I mean? So it's like being able to get stuff from them and being able to give back and forth like it's so beneficial. man, the power of a network. That was one thing that was like hammered into us when I was in art school. Yeah, we learned graphic design and we learned a bit of marketing, psychology and all the things, creative writing that go into a career in the arts. Man, network, network, network. They just kept saying that. And you know, college kid, you're like, all right, I'm a young person. You don't really understand the benefit of that. And fast forward, thank goodness for my network because they have been able to help be that net. Yeah. about like coming out of design school and like getting my first job was like, like it was like a contract job that I ended up working for a whole year, which was crazy because it was supposed to be a shorter contract, but and then being unemployed for a long time and then having someone that I went to school with reach out to me like, Hey, I'm working at this company. We're looking for somebody. And then working at that place for five years because of somebody that I knew worked there. and we worked together and then on the flip side, they got laid off. So I showed them from scratch how to make a internet business. So it's like, hey, you're laid off here. Let's start doing websites. Like, know how to design. Let me show you how to program and stuff like that. So being able to give that back, like, you you never know who that person is going to be who can. get you in the door. Because sometimes if you just get in the door, you're good. Like your resume sometimes might not be good enough to get you in the door. But if you can get, if you can talk to somebody, then that's giving you exponential opportunity to actually either get a sale if you're a business or get a job. That's what you're looking for. Yeah, it's the who you know. That's just it. Yep, that sure does. tell us what services you provide and where people can find you. So right now I provide service for podcast production. I'll do, I do coaching. So I can talk to you if you have like an established podcast, like me, you talked a bunch, like I just give you free stuff. But like I do like a consultant services or like really the really big thing that I do is if you have an idea for a podcast and you don't have the time, but you do have the money and you can hire me. And when I say that you just show up and you record and then I take care of the rest. Like it goes from from that to either having me come in and do consulting and do a tune up on your podcast or you just coming up, showing up with a mic. So like that is the biggest thing. That's the whole package. You just show up and I'll run the schedule for you. I'll run the sessions for you. I'll be there during the interview. I'll give you extra questions when you're interviewing and all of that, like full service. So that's the full service. I'm saying. And I can imagine that the podcast that you are behind could come out awesome. Super professional. I try to make sure. And it's like, so like I have so much experience with sound. I have so much invested in sound equipment and that like the first thing I do is I sit them down and be like, all right, like get this mic. It's not going to break the bank. Get this particular mic, show them how to use the mic, show them how to use like whatever hosting software that we're using. Set up, set up the podcast, put it on auto directory. So. Like I'm full service, so it can be as easy as if you wanna sit down and you wanna talk to me and you want me to give you some ideas about like episodes, how to shore up your podcast, whatever, or full service to where I am handling and managing your whole podcast, so. Y'all Richard Dodds, Crowned Culture Media, LLC, go to him. He will help you. Oh man. yeah, you can find, so like the services is crownedculturemedia.com, easy. Perfect, perfect. Do we need social or anything? We're good with the website. Just go there guys, go to the website. social media, can go to Diozism, it's D-O-D-D-S-I-S-M and doddsism.com That's my personal branding where you can get led to, you can get some of the, like I have some of the personal projects that I worked on there. Like I like showing like the process. So yeah, you can get to know me a little bit more outside of this, but yeah. Well, it's been an absolute pleasure getting to know you and chat with you about really important topics that I know listeners will get value out of as well. So thank you so much for your time today. Go get some sleep. I know having a new baby is a lot. You got this.