Welcome to the Daily Blade . The Word of God is described as the sword of the Spirit , the primary spiritual weapon in the Christian's armor against the forces of evil . Your hosts are Joby Martin and Kyle Thompson , and they stand ready to equip men for the fight . Let's sharpen up .
Speaker 2All right guys , welcome to Wednesday . We have been talking about what to do with this unique strength that God has given us , and so yesterday we talked about like cultivating a sense of self , like understanding kind of the why beneath the surface of how we are , how we respond , what we react to , like a knowledge of my family , of origin , or why is it that I have no patience for this ? What's the story back there ? What am I telling myself in my mind ? And now I want to talk through , really , the next two places that you and I were meant to cultivate , the next two places that we're meant to work . We're meant to cultivate the next two places that we're meant to work . So , if first is we've got to cultivate a sense of self , the second thing we see in scripture is that we're meant to cultivate a small team , and so most of us , that's going to be marriage , but also on top of that marriage , there must be a brotherhood that you and I have given ourselves over to . And , man , I know what it's like .
Speaker 2I turned 50 last June and if I think back on my life , I can recall these great friendships from childhood , man . They were built on play and proximity . I had my crew man and then life happened like work happened , marriage happened , kids happened , weariness happened and then boom . If we're not careful , our lives are marked by unwanted solitude and emotional isolation . And listen , all the data suggests that most of you who are listening to this right now , as men , are isolated and lonely . What's interesting in the data here is that it doesn't tend to make us grumpy . Most men who are in this state describe themselves as just feeling numb , but the Bible has a lot to say about brotherhood . Like Ecclesiastes 4 , 9 through 12 , two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts , for if either falls , his companion can lift him up , but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up . Also , if two lie down together , they can keep warm , but how can one person keep warm alone ? And if someone overpowers one person , two can resist warm . But how can one person keep warm alone ? And if someone overpowers one person , two can resist them . A cord of three strands is not easily broken .
Speaker 2There was this fascinating study that Harvard did . It started in 1934 , and it's still going . It's called the Harvard Study of Adult Development . So what they did is they created a group of Harvard graduates and then these teenage boys from a low-income neighborhood in Boston and they measured everything everything brothers , dna , psychological problems , tracked , their marriage tracked , their deaths tracked , really just kind of followed them through life . It's still ongoing . Several of those men have actually donated their brains to science as a part of this study . And here's what they found tracking these guys' lives .
Speaker 2Strong relationships with other men matter more than anything else . They affect the outcomes of our lives more than IQ , social class or money . Of all the metrics researchers tracked , relationships clearly and definitively have the most bearing on men's satisfaction levels . It's actually they named it , it's called social fitness man that one of the books I've been taking guys through since it came out was the book Fighting Shadows by John Tyson and Jefferson Bethke , and they argue that men need proximity , they need unplanned interactions and they need vulnerability , like they need to go deep , and vulnerability is essential . If you're thinking I mean golf or fantasy football leagues or a hunting trip , then man , that's not quite right . I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those things . I think all three of those are gifts , although I'm not a big golf guy . But vulnerability is the key in these friendships , going below the line of being really honest about where we struggle , about where we're hopeful , about what's pissing us off right now , about what we're hoping for that seems out of our grasp .
Speaker 2We just actually did a funeral here at the village church from a guy who was decently connected , had struggled with severe mental illness , decided not to let anyone know , so his wife knew , his family knew not even his wife's family knew of the darkness that haunted him and hunted him , and he just recently took his life . And I can't help but think , had he been willing , had he been willing to just let one of his guys in , like if he would have been willing to take that kind of foxhole mentality where bullets are flying and crap's exploding . I'm going to dive into this foxhole and I'm going to let somebody know , and so I want to encourage you , brothers , as you're cultivating a sense of self . I want you to find your guys . Find them . Find that King's table , find that older man that can speak life into you . Find that Joab that David had , that wants to conquer the mountain with you . Find that Jonathan , that lover of your soul . We need to cultivate a brotherhood around us that can strengthen us , flank us and protect us in the day of trouble .
Speaker 1Thank you for listening to today's episode Before you go . If you want to help equip other men for the fight , share this podcast around and leave us a five-star rating and review . Stay sharp .