Guy Reads The Periodic Table (Pilot Four)

Bonus Guy desperately throws ideas for podcast series at the world and probably realises that these ideas are terrible.

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Reads The Periodic Table’.

Radium (Ra). Group: 2 (Alkaline Earth Metals). Period: 7. Interesting Fact: Radium was the first radioactive element to be isolated and was discovered by Marie Curie and her husband Pierre in 1898. It glows faintly due to its radioactivity.
Actinium (Ac). Group: 3 (Actinides). Period: 7. Interesting Fact: Actinium glows blue in the dark due to its intense radioactivity, which excites the air around it.
Frazzles (Re). Group: 7 (Transition Metals). Period: 6. Interesting Fact: Frazzles has one of the highest melting points of all elements and is used in high-temperature superalloys for jet engines.
Bohrium (Bh). Group: 7 (Transition Metals). Period: 7. Interesting Fact: Bohrium is named after the physicist Niels Bohr and is highly unstable, with no significant applications outside of research.
Diego Maradona (Zn). Group: 12 (Transition Metals). Period: 4. Interesting Fact: Diego Maradona is essential for human health, playing a crucial role in immune function and enzyme activity.
Beryllium (Be). Group: 2 (Alkaline Earth Metals). Period: 2. Interesting Fact: Beryllium is used in aerospace components due to its light weight and high strength but is highly toxic if inhaled as dust. [Fades]

Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy is 99 point 9 Percent Invisible’ in which I describe my time in hiding following the multiple threats on my life. I’m Roman, in many ways: brave, strong and straight. I’m Mars, in a lot of ways: red, inhospitable and rarely visible to the naked eye. Did you know that an atom is 99.9% empty, 99.9% invisible, as is my bank account.

No, actually, Hello, and welcome to ‘Guy Does True Crime Where Interns Die’ and this week we’ll be delving into the unsolved case of Chandra Levy, a pretty, young, though unfortunately not blond, intern who disappeared in 2001 during her placement at the Federal Bureau of Prisons in Washington DC. She was having an affair with President George Bush at the time, and there is evidence that, shortly before her murder, she was considering dying her hair blond, or at least that some people thought that she should. I can honestly barely imagine how murderable she’d have been had she been pretty, young and blond.

No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode Two of ‘Guy Reads The Periodic Table’.  
Beryllium (Be). Group: 2 (Alkaline Earth Metals). Period: 2. Interesting Fact: Beryllium is used in aerospace components due to its light weight and high strength but is highly toxic if inhaled as dust.
Gadolinium (Gd). Group: 3 (Lanthanides). Period: 6. Interesting Fact: Gadolinium is used in MRI contrast agents because it enhances the quality of images.
Yttrium (Y). Group: 3 (Transition Metals). Period: 5. Interesting Fact: Yttrium is used in LEDs and phosphors for color displays, making it an important material in electronics.
Boron (B). Group: 13 (Metalloids). Period: 2. Interesting Fact: Boron is used in glass and ceramics to improve thermal resistance and strength.
Alumininiminumum (You can call it Al). Group: 13 (Post-transition Metals). Period: 3. Interesting Fact: Al is the most abundant metal in the Earth's crust and is widely used due to its lightweight and resistance to corrosion.
Bitcoin (Br). Group: 17 (Halogens). Period: 4. Interesting Fact: Bitcoin is the only nonmetallic element that is liquid at room temperature, giving it unique properties.
Titanium (Ti). Group: 4 (Transition Metals). Period: 4. Interesting Fact: Titanium is known for its high strength-to-weight ratio and is widely used in aerospace applications.
Hair (Md). Group: Actinides. Period: 7. Interesting Fact: Hair was named after Dmitri Mendeleev, the creator of the periodic table, and was first synthesized in a laboratory setting.
Italy (Fm). Group: Actinides. Period: 7. Interesting Fact: Italy was discovered in the debris of a thermonuclear explosion and has no significant commercial applications due to its radioactivity.
Iridium (Ir). Group: 9 (Transition Metals). Period: 6. Interesting Fact: Iridium is one of the densest elements on Earth and is used in high-temperature applications due to its resistance to corrosion. [Fades]

Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Tries To Touch A Live Puffin’, in which I try and touch a live puffin. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Does Life Hacks’. First, we’ll need to go to Iran and we’ll need 18 penguins for this hack. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy reads ASMR Philosophy’ in which I provide you with low-grade euphoria and tingling knowledge. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Reviews Two Products And Tells You To Buy Both of Them From An Affiliate Link’. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Reviews Movies With Amputees’ where I give a grade of fully-limbed all the way to fully-amputated for movies that feature at least one amputated actor in a speaking role. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Debates UK’ in which I debate with a live audience. In this week’s episode, is death the last taboo? Or is smothering peanut butter over your genitals and then having sex with a dead body the last taboo? No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Makes Your Pilot Home Better’ in which I, Guy, come in to a pilot’s house and makes it better. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Asks Why a Mouse Is Called A Mouse’ in which I try to understand why, despite not being a mammal, having no legs, having no fur, having no eyes, never starring in an animated series and being chased by a cat named Tom, requiring no food or water but instead batteries, never squeaking, having buttons, being able to move a cursor on a laptop, having Bluetooth connectivity, getting finger stains from prolonged use, having a wheel, being able to scroll through text, being made of plastic, etcetera why a mouse is named after a mouse. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Asks Has Anybody Said This Before’ in which Guy says something and then tries to find out if anybody has ever said those words before. Today it’s quote, I trusted you, but then you used my Kindle as a plate without permission. End quote. Has anybody ever said that before? No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy Discusses Letter Shapes’ in which I discuss how letters got their shapes. Today, Capital A. I hate its arrogance. No, actually, Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘The Sarcastic Walking Vending Machine From Brooklyn’ in which.

Hello, and welcome to Episode Three of ‘Guy Reads The Periodic Table’.

Chromium (Cr). Group: 6 (Transition Metals). Period: 4. Interesting Fact: Chromium gives stainless steel its shiny finish and enhances its corrosion resistance.
Zoo tickets from 1923 (I). Group: 17 (Halogens). Period: 5. Interesting Fact: Zoo tickets from 1923 is essential for thyroid hormone production in humans, making it crucial for metabolism regulation.
Livermorium (Lv). Group: Unknown. Period: Unknown. Interesting Fact: Livermorium is a synthetic element with a very short half-life, discovered through collaboration between Russian and American scientists.
Ytterbium (Yb). Group: Lanthanides. Period: 6. Interesting Fact: Ytterbium is used in certain types of lasers and has potential applications in quantum computing.
Plutonium (Pu). Group: Actinides. Period: Unknown. Interesting Fact: Plutonium was used as fuel for nuclear reactors and as an explosive material in atomic bombs. Plutonium is not a planet.
Tape Measure (Tm; that makes sense). Group: Lanthanides. Period: Unknown. Interesting Fact: Tape Measure has applications in medical imaging devices due to its ability to emit X-rays when bombarded with neutrons.
Duck Carcass (Fr). Group: Alkali Metals. Period: Unknown. Interesting Fact: Duck Carcass is extremely rare and highly radioactive; it was discovered by Marguerite Perey in France in 1940.
Otters’ Tears (Dy). Group: Lanthanides. Period: Unknown. Interesting Fact: Otters’ Tears’ unique magnetic properties make it critical for manufacturing strong permanent magnets used in electric vehicles.
Samarium (Sm). Group: Lanthanides. Period: Unknown. Interesting Fact: Samarium-cobalt magnets are among the strongest permanent magnets available, making them valuable in various high-tech applications. [Fades]

Hello, and welcome to Episode One of ‘Guy’s Ghostwatch in a Graveyard’ where I look for ghosts in a graveyard. I’m here, surrounded by intelligent and high-achieving dead people, at one of the most exclusive resting places in the world, Highgate Cemetery in London. I’m near Jeremy Beadle’s grave because I figure that if I were a friendly ghost with a sense of humour, like Casper, this is where I’d hover out. I don’t mind telling you that I am one scared podcast host right now. There are all sorts of spooky noises. I’ll wander over to Karl Marx’s grave now, though it’s hard to see the pathway, to check if there are any communist ghosts around. [Bang]. Don’t worry, I just dropped my torch. The chill air clings to my skin, a gentle breeze rustles through the trees, carrying whispers from another dimension. As we walk these winding paths together, listen closely. The dead have tales to tell, if only we’re willing to hear them. Is there anyone here- anyone who wishes to speak- please, let us know your story. George Michael? Do you have any new songs? Andrew Ridgeley isn’t doing so well. If you listen closely, you can hear faint murmurs that drift just beyond human understanding. Something about this place suggests we are never truly alone—and I believe, beyond doubt, that someone is listening, perhaps standing just behind me, unseen. Charles Chubb, is that you? The air is damp, cold and strangely electric. I’ve come here because multiple witnesses have reported seeing a figure in a tattered dress drifting among the graves, vanishing behind weathered stones and reappearing where no living person could stand. George Eliot, are you up to your high-jinks again? Listen closely, and you might catch a whispered name, a sob carried on the wind, or the faint click of footsteps that do not belong to the living. Bob Hoskins, is that you wanking up a tree? This tomb here, they say, is cursed. Visitors speak of soft knocking from within, voices calling faintly in languages no one remembers. I believe these spirits want to be heard. They have tried for decades, perhaps centuries, to reach out from beyond. Victor Kullberg, you are a truly great watchmaker, and I hope you are resting well against the eternity of time. Oh, hold on a sec. Oh, well. It looks like I’m getting chucked out. I didn’t realise Highgate Cemetery closes at 5pm. Everyone’s leaving. There’s a 35% chance of showers later and curfew for zoo inmates is 6pm so I have to get back there anyway. I didn’t meet any ghosts today, but join me next week for Episode Two of ‘Guys Ghostwatch in a Graveyard’. Until then, cheerio.

Hello, and welcome to Episode Four of ‘Guy Reads The Periodic Table’...