#11– Knowledge Isn’t Power... Action Is! We All Know What To Do, So Why Don’t We Do It?

Ever wonder why some choices change everything while others barely move the needle? We unpack that tension by starting where most journeys begin: messy first steps. From a humming office that sparked a love for podcasts to a rough solo recording that turned into a candid two‑host show, we share the unfiltered path that led to sharper conversations.

We tackle creatine and supplement myths head‑on, clearing the confusion between natural aids and banned performance drugs. That sets the stage for a wider exploration of nature versus nurture: what’s wired in, what’s taught by parents and culture, and what only hard experience can teach. Along the way, we wrestle with a provocative question—would you rather know when you’ll die or how?

The heart of the conversation is accountability. We break down why saving is really buying future time and options, how sacrifice hides in plain sight, and why counting the things you say no to is a practical measure of focus. If you’ve ever blamed your upbringing for where you are, we offer a challenge: collect more data from your own life, detach with respect, and update your rules. Progress is the quiet sum of traded comforts—less impulse, more intention; fewer shortcuts, stronger habits.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a push, and leave a review. Tell us the one principle you refuse to compromise on.

Beyond the Blueprint is a Vizure Production.

Transcript

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Welcome to Beyond the Blueprint, the podcast where we explore growth, resilience, and lessons that shape our journeys. I'm Barry, and I'm here with my brother Timoni. Together we dive into honest conversations about life, success, and everything in between. This is a space for relatable insights, practical advice, and stories that help you carve your own path. So let's look beyond the blueprint. Snaff. Back again. We're back again. How's it going, man? I'm all good, bro. How's it going? All good. Can't complain. I'm trying to think of what to talk about. Well, for starters, how have things been? What's been going on in your life of late? Things have been alright. Can't complain. Busy as usual with work. I knew. I knew I was waiting. I was waiting to count if within the first minute you were gonna say the word work. How quickly I was going to say the word work. I think it's a big part of our lives. We've already talked about this, so it's expected. Yeah, it's been busy. I started taking creatine like a week ago. Okay, that's great. I think you finally managed to get me on. It's you finally broke him, guys. We broke him. So the thing is, we started our gym journey about the same time, like uh working out and whatever. I decided to go, like, no supplements, no nothing additional, right? Having started creating like a week ago, I wish I started earlier. Okay, that stuff is gold, man. It is gold. Like, I'm much stronger, I'm I get less tired, my recovery time is much quicker. I was thinking about this this morning, and I was like, this is not we don't give any professional advice. Yeah, we're gonna make sure we steal it. This is just our opinion, what we think, our experience. So nobody should be like, oh no, you were given professional advice. Honestly, I would recommend personally, but I'm not giving it from a professional standpoint. That's just a recommendation from my experience in my opinion. But yeah, overall, it's been good. Yeah, what about yourself? I just wanna I just want to um point something out with regard to supplements. So I had someone, this is a bit of a little side story. Um, I know we're always going off track, but I mean that's what keeps it interesting. Yeah, yeah. So a guy hits me up saying, I've got a friend who wants to start taking protein powder, but I don't know anything about supplements because I'm I'm a natty, I'm natural. Okay, that's what they're called. I didn't know they call them nattis as well. That was me in the States. That was me a week ago, yeah. So then just to make just to clear this out, I don't know, but no, I I do know certain supplements, of course, creating protein powder being the most famous, are not steroids, they don't make you non-natural. And I actually think it's pretty, and I've had a few people approach me and be like, Oh, I'm like, I'm I I ask them what do you take? And they say, I don't take anything, I'm I'm natural. Creatine doesn't make you it's not it's not anabolic steroids, it's not it's not just testosterone and that's all yeah, because creatine is naturally occurring in your body, exactly, and it's not even considered a performance-enhancing drug, exactly. But even even just like professional football players, professional sportsmen can take it, it's not considered doping, no. So, and I just wanted to point that out to defend myself from the gym community, guys. Protein powder creatine is not it's not a it's not a dry, it's not like um a steroid, yeah, you know, it's not performance enhancing, as you said, it's not considered that, but anyway, yeah, man. So Martin, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing's been good, then how you doing? Um, it's okay to talk about work by the way. Yeah, I'll be trying to talk about it. I know you don't want to say the words. Oh cool. No, man, I'm just grinding. Just at this point, you know what I'm just in the motion. At least I think I found my footing, and it's just trying to finish off the year on a strong note. So that's yeah, it's almost the end of the year. Yeah, um, I don't have the exact date, but I think soon we'll be clocking a year of oh before. Yeah, we need to check that actually. We need to check that, yeah. But it's been so far. How do you think the progress has been? It's been exponential. I think it's been up and up and up and up. And the start of it, I was thinking about it. So yesterday I had a conversation, I know we're segueing. We keep segueing and segue, but it's fine. I had a conversation with a person who was asking me, Why did you start? And I think we've I think we've addressed that. I don't know if we've ever explained that before. But yeah, you so um the history here is, and yeah, actually, I said out I would I would take this approach. Cool. Who put you on to podcasts? Ah, dude. I don't know. I probably just like started listening to her. No, I'm joking, man. You put me on. You put me on. I remember you started listening first. Yes. So the interesting story is the reason have I ever told you why I started listening to podcasts? You never told me actually. So I used to sit in a pool office, and I used to sit next to a lady who used to hum. So she sings, like I think she sings at church or something like that. And so when she works, I guess it works for her, like to hum. So she should be there humming. And it was a bit, it was quite irritating. It made it difficult for me to concentrate as I worked. Okay. What I used to do is I would listen to music. But you know, for you who's a like me who consumes music heavily, yeah, you get to a saturation point where you're just like, I have listened to too much music. Oh, my playlist. So I needed an alternative. I couldn't really watch YouTube because I can't watch and work. So I said, let me try out this podcasting. So I'm going to give him a free shout-out because I think he's a really good podcaster. One of the first podcasts I actually started listening to was uh the VT podcast, Vuzitem Big Wild. Yep. And I think it was a really good podcast for me to start with because of how well he speaks, the things he talks about. It actually elevated, I think, my personality and the lens through which I view life. So, fast forward, I think you also now start listening to podcasts along along the way. First one, um, and which I still listen to heavily, Derek of the CEO. Okay, Stephen Boydlett. Yeah, okay. So I now start talking about I think I should start a podcast. I think I should start a podcast. I think I should start a podcast. But this, which is another part of this conversation, is how you and I somewhat complement each other is I'm a stars should align type person. So I was waiting for the stars to align. I wanted my first episode to have cameras, lights, mics, and everything. Studio and everything. You know, like a studio I set up. Um, and then you had also now started talking about starting a podcast. I want to start, I want to start, I want to start. And unlike you, you're more a I'll just do it, an execution type of person. So you jumped in even if the stars weren't aligned, and you recorded an episode of your podcast alone, which was supposed to actually be called the TKC pod. The TKC pod or something like that. It actually dropped. I think there was a few people that had listened to it or some feedback. Um, I remember it was so funny because you had recorded it in like your room. There was a little bit of background noise, you could hear people walking around and a few doors banging in the back. I think I tried to get it so perfect, like it was so choreographed, you know. Like I tried to I remember I remember taking uh having many takes. I'm like, shit, no, I messed that up. I need to start again. I messed that up, I need to start again. Which is funny because for our pod now, like it's pretty unfiltered, like we just talk, it is right. So, anyway, you then drop your first episode, and I'm like, look, I had been talking about starting a podcast. Of course, I'm not executing, but you've executed. Let's just do it together. So that's essentially how, but I don't know where does the name So another thing that became apparent. Sorry, just to before we get to me, another thing that became apparent pretty quickly was it's pretty difficult to talk by yourself. It is. That was another thing. That was another thing because I remember basically my my episode was like a was like an intro, it was like a 10 10-minute thing, uh kind of explaining what my goal is, what I'm trying to achieve by doing this. And yeah, for anyone who's ever tried talking to a camera or to a microphone by yourself, you know how difficult it is, you know. Yeah, yeah, that was that the name Beyond the Blueprint. I think that one comes from the nature of the conversations that we tend to have. We're always discussing things because I remember actually, we you and I have taken a few road trips together and we've done hyperlapses of our road trips. And people would be like, No, so do you guys just like record your actually? People thought we used to record our episode as we drive. Okay, or when you guys go and drive to just like record that dialogue, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But actually, we'd usually have a lot of these deep, meaningful conversations, if you want to put it like that. Yeah, we'll just like I think a lot of what we speak about, a lot of what we talk about, is outside a blueprint, outside a structure, it thinks beyond. So let's call it that. Yeah, I don't think there's like uh an epiphany where you wake up in the middle of the night and you are staring at a burning bush, and the burning bush says beyond the blueprint or something like that. No, but yeah, I think it's been a pretty good journey. We've we've got over a thousand cumulative listeners. Yes, I think that's a very big milestone. Uh in under 10 episodes, we finally got the mics and the camera, you know, the the audio visual setup going. There's still a lot more to come. Uh, but I think it's been a pretty good journey. Many more guests as well. Many more guests to come. I'm sure there's some interesting conversations coming. There's some pretty interesting conversations in the pipeline. That I can't wait for. So yeah. Um, yeah, how have you found it so far? Yeah, look, I think it's it's helped me achieve what I want to achieve, which is, and funny enough, it's also helped me in other areas of my life, like being more like my speaking. Like when I speak, even in meetings and if I'm presenting, I I can feel I'm a bit more confident, I can feel I'm a bit more like one thing that I noticed over time as you obviously record more, is I'm I'm a pretty jittery person, like I'm jumpy, and I feel like even when I speak now, of course, look, it it's still it still pokes through, it comes through. I know no one's perfect, but I'm a bit more calm now, I'm a bit more composed. So I think it's it's really helped me, not just even for podcasting, but uh other areas of my life, but also it's helped me achieve what I think we're trying to achieve is that we have so many deep thoughts, as you said, deep meaningful conversations. And not only do we want to put them on a platform, but also get other people's insight, yeah, and as well get other people to think beyond the blueprint. Because as I was, and funny enough, we're having a conversation with someone just before we started recording. Yeah, I was basically telling him that not everyone thinks deeply in life. I guess some people are just like living surface level, yeah, yeah, and they need to just like break through that and think on a deeper level because life, as we all know, is has more depth to it, it's got substance to it, yeah. It's got substance, it's got depth. So I think it's also just getting people to realize that because how many people have listened and have been like, wow, like how did you guys think on that level? Yeah, and it's to get people thinking on that level as well. And of course, it's one of the things that we might discuss today as well. So yeah, man, that's it's been great overall. I think we're supposed to icebreak, but we've kind of already icebroken. You did tell me you had a question for the icebreaker, we've kind of gone left. Maybe let's go back, right? What was your what was your icebreaker question? So, my question was would you rather know when you die or how you die? Yeah, so would I rather know when I'll die and how to die? That's a tough one. That's a pretty tough question because um human beings. I don't know if I've told you this before, and I think Trevor actually said it says it on his pod. Actually, before I get into that, Trevor Noah, yeah, yeah. Trevor, Trevor Noah, sorry, yeah, I needed to thanks. You and I recently had a conversation with a person who narrates a story to us about how he's he killed a person. Yep. So it was in self-defense, by the way. Before you guys think that he he's a murderer and whatever. But this is what happens in a nutshell for for further context. He's I'm a bit wary about saying where he's from because but anyway, yeah, he's not from Zambia, he's from another country. And but I'm sure immediately we spoke about murdering people. People already like a country pops up, and then you're like, but like, yeah, so he's in the car with his son, and I don't know, you think he's parked somewhere at a traffic light. At a traffic light, yeah, and this guy comes and knocks on the door like on the glass with a gun. So he's like, give me all your money, give me everything that you have, whatever. He's like, Yeah, cool, no problem. But you think he wanted the car? He wanted the car, yeah. So then he says, Oh, yeah, he says, I'm I'm taking your car. Yeah. So he's like, Okay, yeah, here you can have it. But then he says, No, I need you to drive me somewhere. Yeah. Then wait, wait, wait, let me just get that part clear. Did he did he who asked to be driven? I think the guy who's stealing the car asked to be driven, I was like, Because I think what he wants is a situation where you get out of like that. Because that must be the obviously the traffic lights and everything. Yeah, yeah. So it's a small car, it's only got two doors, and the guy, the guy who we know jumps out of the car, his son is screaming in the in the passenger seat because now he's like scared out of his life. And yeah, he says, Let me slide the seat forward so you can jump into the back. But in the process, the guy who's trying to steal the car from him puts the gun down, like he faces it faces down, and they then start to fight for the gun. So he goes for the gun. He goes for the gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he says, he says he puts his finger in the trigger. Yeah, between the trigger and the so that he can't pull the trigger. They fight for it, fight for it, and he eventually gets a hold of it, and he pulls the trigger, shoots the guy in our guy, shoots the other guy in the shoulder-neck region. Um and yeah, eventually the guy, like he's basically called by uh the chief inspector, whatever they call them, to tell him that the guy has died. So, going back to your question, if I was that guy, would I want to know that one day I will be shot or that's my way out? Like, I'll find myself in a situation. And I like that you added context because I think it gives because obviously that's a pretty vivid story, especially when we heard it in the moment. So I'm sure you've tried visualizing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so now that we've given context, if I was actually that guy, I think for him, okay, for him it's a bit different because he was it was a it was a robbery, you know, or was trying to steal something. So if he knew how, he could have probably stopped it, you know. But I also probably went because I mean if he knew that I'm planning on stealing okay, well, he may not have known that was the way, but in most other scenarios for myself, I think I would know, I would rather know. Just give me a second. Just like don't don't say anything. No, let me let me say something while you're thinking about it. So, Trevor, he says, and I don't know if there's an actual science to this, there might be. Human beings are designed in a way that they don't think they will ever die. You've told me this. And we are designed like that for a reason. We're designed like that so that we can continue breaking boundaries, we can keep trying new things. Because if think about it, when someone dies, for a second, you actually accommodate the thought and the possibility of dying. But very quickly, and of course that it depends on the proximity. So if like your mom dies because she's very close to you, reconciling the fact that she's died is probably going to take you much longer than a person who knew your mom because they worked together. But the the the short of the long is what I'm trying to put across is you might know you you you feel it inside, like, oh no, crap, death. It's this real thing, and it's this thing that we can't reconcile because we don't know what's on the other side of it. But we very quickly go back to leading our lives because if we didn't believe that we were immortal beings, we wouldn't build cars, we wouldn't build because then what's the point? Exactly. I will die anyway. So why should I do these things? Why should I get out of bed? But you got a point because Stephen Bartlett has spoken about something he calls um deathbed thinking, and basically, you're right, like your mindset would really be different. Um, if you were if you even when you are on your deathbed, like normally, you know, even what your core values are, because in that context, he basically talks about the fact that it's for him, he uses it like it really lets you know what's important in life. Because what you think about on your deathbed, you obviously think about like if you were told by a doctor that you've got 24 more hours to live, you do the things you love, you'd see your family, yeah, you would probably like maybe you know just spend time like if you're if you're religious, you know, pray and whatever, whatever, you know, that sort of thing. Just to allude to your point that human beings don't like as like we we're we're made to believe we're immortal. No, I know if you really think about it, like, and I do think deeply about them, like even what's like all this like job chasing and yeah, is it if is it really because at the end of the day we're gonna die, you know, and you have those small moments, but as you say, we snap back and into it and then just carry on at like because you know, remember there was a time we had a conversation and you said, and I know this feels like a bit of a dark episode for some people that are listening, it'll brighten up, it will brighten up. Uh, remember there was a time you were talking, so there's four of us as brothers, and you said one day there'll be one of us left. There'll be one of us, I said that, but you did say that there'll be one of us that will be left and say, I had three brothers. And if life takes the natural, like if it takes a natural progression, I'm more likely to go out before you guys, and then you second, uh, third, third, and last, last, right? And the last essentially will be the one who then says I had three brothers, but we don't know what will happen along the way because God forbid, we could make it into um slightly older years, but have one of us maybe die in a car accident or die as a as a result of disease. And yeah, so which is crazy because now that you see it, and I know it's it's sounding very dark. I mean one of those, excuse me, I'm in one of those moments where I'm thinking now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm like, because even when we say we'll die, right? We we we do throw the statement around, like, oh, I will die one day. Touch wood, god forbid, touch wood, god forbid. I could literally drop dead like now, right now. Please don't do that. But even when we say we'll die in our older years, we never put a number to it. Like we don't say I will die at 90. Of course, because you don't know with certainty, but you're not you can't put a date to it because you don't, I don't think you still you don't fully fathom or accept the fact that death will be there at some stage. Okay, I've got an answer. Yeah, so I don't know. Have you thought of yours? Yeah, I've thought of mine. Yeah, I and I look, human beings I know are emotional creatures, and it's a lot, a lot of things are much easier said than done. And anyway, that's the point of such controversial topics. Is yeah, it's I guess you it's just to get you to think deeper. But um, I think if I'm going to think in a much logical way, I would rather know when I die. Because if I know I've got 10, 15, 20 years on the clock, I can try and make the best of what it is. Because you know, with the how, okay, let's say you're gonna die in a car accident. How many times are you not going to get in the car? How many times you'd be in a car and just be like on edge, like it messes that up. I would rather know when. But when also like knowing knowing like it's coming, like imagine on the day you're just like sitting, like it's also I think it's closer. It's I think I think the when wouldn't it wouldn't be like a date time at 1251 uh 67 milliseconds, you will die. I think it it will be more arranged, like in this year you will die, or in this um week or month you die. About this scenario, and which is what's tough, is you always be looking out for it. Like as you said, if it's this year from the first of Jan, you will be on edge. Yeah, but even with knowing how, like if they say, for example, it's in a car accident, yeah. Every time you get in a car, you'll be on edge. It's just it's crazy, man. But I think I'll low key. I think I'm and I wait. I hate the fact that people are going to hate this, but I was thinking the same way you were thinking, which is logically, yeah, I would rather know because then at least I know between now and then I can like live my life carefree, you know, not carefree, but like to the fullest of capacity, as opposed to if I knew that I was like, think and it goes back to the same thing you were saying. Logical. If you knew that you were going to die in a year's time, what why would you be chasing that promotion? Exactly. Why would you be trying to start that business? Like I probably wouldn't even be saving my money. Like probably doing that. Doing the things you love, all the things, all the things we've been you've been putting off and procrastinating. Exactly. Exactly to try to get them done. And then the other side of it is the Christian side. I'm not saying that I'll live a sinful life and then suddenly repent, but I think it allows me to be in good books with the Lord, the Lord, you know, just before it happens. So that's that's my I think my answer is the same as your answer. Logically, yeah, I would rather know when I'm straight up when I'm kicking the bucket. Anyway, let's talk about the fact that the culture, basically, like um what you become in the future as a person. Is that is that always from not always, but is it mostly from your parents or from your environment? What do you think? So, this was a very good one. So, this was actually yeah, this was actually some feedback that we got from someone. We said I I I even told them that we're going to try and break this one down. A lot of us as people, we live our lives and we exist, and then we've got principles and we've got ways that we lead our lives best of based off of a whole host of reasons and a whole host of things, right? But those principles that we have, how many of them are as a result of our parents and others that we've picked up along the way, or others that we've just developed ourselves? That's essentially what the conversation was between me and that for me. I would like to just open up with um a little something I know from you know um my little biology from high school and um obviously listening to some of these like podcasts and stuff. Um, there's what they call nature and nurture. I think you've heard about that before, but nature is key key thing is ensuring the fact that one is nature and one is nurture. Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm not saying the same word, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because my um brother and sisters, yeah, it's uh mad for dirty water mixed dirt mixed with water, and mad for a person who's not sane. So there's a difference. There's mud and there's mad. Yeah, but um nurture nature. So nature being basically your environment, things that affect like you need to realize as humans and how we develop and as organisms, not just human beings, there's the nature side of things where your environment, no, those are things that are basically encoded into you, you know? Okay, so a baby cries from birth, like pain. Pain, when you feel pain, you cry. No matter what's psychological, I don't know if you can tweak with someone, but you know, even before from the time a baby is born, they're born crying. That's inbuilt in them that when they're an uncomfortable situation, when it's pain, they cry. That's nature. Nurture is the things and habits that are basically imposed on you based on your environment. So to steal the mic quickly, yeah, on that one. Apparently, I think I can't remember this fact fully, but apparently, the only fear that is taught, the only fears you're born with, I think, is the fear of height or the fear of falling or something like that. And every other fear is taught taught basically because yeah, I think that's kind of it. No, it's true. Because even if you think I always think about this like imagine you were born and snakes, like people are just handling snakes, like every day that you live with snakes and you sleep with snakes. You wouldn't be, and we see this all the time. You see those videos of babies one scared of snakes, it's a fear they're taught over time because of what's going on around them. It's funny. I had a conversation with someone else, and they said, This is another powerful thing about podcasting. Sorry, I just want to uh throw something in that's just we have these conversations, and I think people that meet me, this is part of where my curiosity comes from, my childlike curiosity. I will keep grilling you and asking you questions. But then also when we have conversations with you, we then sometimes take from your conversations and have con like, you know, we come here, we have a discussion, and we make reference to those conversations. So I had a conversation with a person who said, But in as much as you want to say that we're taught these fears, like fear of snakes, snakes is an example, is no, we're not, we we we are taught survival. So that's maybe the glass half empty, the glass half full perspective. Yes, because you may not necessarily be like I always say this, right? I'm not necessarily afraid of lions. Like if a lion was not, you know, it wasn't a predator, it's not going to attack me. Funny enough, I don't know why we're both thinking of lion. I was about to say this. And the other example I have is like a croc. Because I remember the one time we went to the croc farm Livingston, we're seeing, looking at the crocs and whatever, and one of these just snapped its jaw, and that thing is so loud, and we run so fast. But like, you get where I'm coming from, where you're coming from. Like some are, and I guess that goes back to the nature aspect of it. Some are survival. So, yeah, again, there's obviously something inbuilt in us that I mean, you see one guy approach a lion gets eaten. You see two guys, you eventually be like, stay away from that thing because I don't want to get eaten, yeah. You know, so I guess that's a survival aspect. The the only organism that's away from that thing. The only organism, the only like animal that I know that's like doesn't that is like the dodo bird where it like purposefully kills itself. But anyway, um, going back, so that was just a bit of an insight in like I guess the mechanism yeah built into us about like what we div what we adopt and learn over time, and obviously some things that are inbuilt that we get from our environment. Yeah, so so I think it's pointing out the fact that number one, um, kids are most malleable. Um, I think from I can't remember what the age is, but let's just say one to about eight, I think. Can I also bring another thing up? Yeah, and again, going back to the science, I'm sure people now by now know that I'm into the science part of it, but um, yeah, people obviously people are most malleable from obviously by malleable, I must say people know that we're talking about basically how flexible they are. Yeah, they can be bent and molded, molded, yeah. From a younger age, yeah, obviously, much more when they are much younger, like you said, one to eight. But also, did you know that? So, we've got what we call a prefrontal cortex, which I think it sits in the front part of your brain, that's being prefrontal. Um, what the prefrontal cortex is uh responsible for is uh it's basically the the hub for decision making, logical decision making. So, you know, you see a croc, you see a um a rabbit, you probably run away from the croc towards the rabbit because it's like that, it's like yeah, it's for quick and I think quick and quick decision making, and obviously, even decisions we make over time. It's like where all the information comes in and it's what like processes, yeah, it's the hub of decision making in the brain, anyway. So the prefrontal cortex is only developed up until it's only fully developed when you reach the age of 25. And I like to make this joke with people who are like 23, 24, 22. I'm like, technically speaking, you're not even a fully developed decision-making human being. What that means basically is from the age of obviously when you're born to 25, yeah, you still require it would be beneficial to have some guidance because basically you're not at the optimum place for you to make always make decisions. Of course, other factors come in, like when you're stressed, emotional, but it just means that you're not at your best decision making. Yeah, there's still some room for growth, still some, there's still a little bit of malleability if that's a real yeah, there's a rule, if there's a rule word. So, but yeah, please go back to what you're saying about kids being more malleable and yeah, yeah. So, what I was going to point out is that kids are uh more malleable, therefore flexible, they can be molded quite a lot to the and that's why it's important. Now, we've never been parents before, but you it's important, I think, as parents, if there's any parents that listen to this, to really try and ingrain, engrave, engrave, I think is a word. Yes, certain, or to there's a word I'm looking for. To basically get get get your children to to take on certain principles from a young age. Yeah, it's in the small things the sweeping, the washing, the doing all the chores. Yeah, right. Because let me let me tell you why I've picked that in particular. There are certain things you do that when you get to a certain age in life, when you're much older, you still do them because your parents would tell you every day, don't go to bed without washing dishes. Now, that doesn't take away the fact that people still, at some stage when you live in your own house, your own roof, you pay your own bills, you make the decision. So if you want to leave the dish in the sink, bro, it's no one's going to, it's not like your mom's going to walk in and be like, excuse me, why haven't you washed uh the dishes? What did I tell you 20 years or 25 or 30 years ago? But the point is, there are then certain things that you keep doing because, and this is why you hear people sometimes say, I am like this because of my parents, yeah, right? And then people make these jokes that and say things like, when you get to the age of 30, you can't keep blaming your parents. So and I think we should go into that later. I hope you both remember. I think that's a good uh next topic to discuss in in terms of the decisions people make in their old age. How much of it can they, I guess, keep not blaming, but keeping it. Yeah, deferring responsibility to the past. But we'll get to that. So it you might not necessarily have it. What I'm trying to paint here is you will have guidance principles instilled in you, some of which you carry forward, but then there'll be also character, I like to call them character developing um experiences along the way. And those character-developing experiences will be um recently had a conversation with a friend of mine. Yeah, she meets her old boss. I hope I'm not gonna get in trouble for telling this story. Uh look, if if I if it if even I can't put it together, I'm highly doubt a stranger is so she meets her old boss. Her old boss is how many people met the old boss? I don't know. Um, and she tells her boss, oh yeah, yeah. Her old boss is like, Do you have someone that you can recommend? We've got a position that's opened up to the so she she she recommends the person, and that person goes and acts funny in the new role, and I think she's threatening, she's almost she's she's on, she might get fired. She's on the verge of getting fired. Yeah. Um, but then she then meets her boss after a couple months, and her old boss, sorry, and her boss tells her it was very disappointing, you know, your friend performed, blah blah blah. But then she apologizes and says, and she's like, No, don't worry about it. I know you were coming from you know, from a uh a good place, you you weren't necessarily it's not like you. It's not like you set us up to get a person that's not good. And she said, I'm never recommending anyone. And I told her, You just had a character developing moment. Exactly. So that could potentially be a principle that she carries with her. Yep. That's the nurture. Which is her having experience. It may not be that her parents told her, don't go recommending people. She has just learned from an experience. So I think it's a mix. It's a mix. That's definitely a mix. That's what I wanted to point out once you were done. It's I I you've used the word mix. On it used, it's a racial. So I think as you grow older, as you said, I think you will keep using character development experiences, as you said. Yeah. CDEs. So over time you experience these things, and they they kind of so when you're younger, it's kind of like a it's like a 90 to 10. So 90 from what your parents tell you to do, 10 obviously, of your own um mindset or whatever. And as you grow older, that ratio starts to it'll get to a point where scale started to tip towards your own experiences. And it ends up differently for some people. Some people, by the time they're much older, it ends up maybe being 20% their parents because there's always going to be some things that you can't do. That you can't but 80% from obviously the experiences they've had. But then I think you also still get some people who might, even older, get a 50-50 split. And do you know what might cause that? Is it's a surface area conversation. The reason I say it's a surface area conversation is there's some people who've been kept in the house by their parents, they don't go anywhere, they don't do anything. So even when they get to the age of 30, they don't have they haven't amassed enough character developing experiences for them to really say, I have my own pre uh principles based off the experiences I've had. And I have these other principles based off the experiences I've been given by my parents. Yeah. So, yeah, to your point, the scale might not tip as much for some people and it might tip a bit more for others. And I think there's also a bias, you know, especially I and I think it goes back to and why I'm saying a bias is it goes back to what you're saying. Um, that some people have basically they they have their parents in their lives at a very close proximity for a much longer time than others because even our parents are pretty involved in our lives right now. Yep. So if something happens in your life, how many times have you had your own perspective, but they come and change it? That's the bias at play. Yeah, so there's many things like we again we'll talk about work and personal things where you're like, I'm sure you were thinking one way, but then when you tell them and the advice, they basically they've changed your mindset, and that's them still working. So the other side of it was and slight, very slight segue is would you and I have had this conversation? Let's say you want to buy a Fitbit. Yep. And you ask me, What do you think? Should I buy the Fitbit? And I say, I think this is a bad purchase, honestly. I don't think you should spend your money on this right now. You will walk away, I think, a lot more disappointed than you would if you had asked a stranger on the street. Because the weight of my opinion, my advice is more than the weight of a third party who you the validation that you seek from me will be greater than the validation that you seek from another person. Validation, for lack of a better term, right? That's just to emphasize your point about how much of an influence the people how much of an influence the people who are close to you, i.e., in this instance, like your parents. Because this is essentially why, again, we've never been married before, but you hear these stories about people that are married where they say, like, for us guys who tend to be closer to our mothers, yeah, is when you marry, you need to I've I've got a friend that tells me so. I thought you were gonna say that a lot of the times you end up marrying or you end up finding yourself attracted to women who are like your mother. Yes. I don't know if that's true, but there's a I think there's this there's an actual science to that. Yeah, but then the thing that I was going to say is you need to try and create a gap between you and your mother. Because think about it like this you and your spouse could have a small argument in the morning about I don't know, throwing out the bit the trash, or you said you would do this, but you didn't do that, whatever. And on your way to work, you call your mom and you're like, you won't believe it. We she started blasting me about what, what, what, what. The thing is, in the evening, you and your wife will have a reconciliation conversation, happy days, kumbaya, and you even forget that it happened, right? Your mother on the flip side will not forget. Won't forget. A year, two, three years later, if she does something similar, she'll make reference to that experience and be like, this even that year you did this and you told me about it, and what, what, what, what, what. And I don't think you want that, right? Going back to the parents and influence and everything. And I think this is essentially why to some extent, and it's probably rich coming from us, you need to detach yourself from your parents at some point. And that detachment comes with you need to stumble, you need to fall, you need to learn, you need to dust yourself off and re- and like stand up again. Because then you will have the principles, which is oh, I should respect people wherever I go. That's what my parents told me, that I should respect people and stuff. But you will also then start to pick up certain things like, oh, when I meet this type of person, nine times out of ten, this is their character and this is how they should be handled. Additionally, um, obviously, this life is a game of survival, survival of the fittest. Yeah, um, you need to understand that again, everyone's got their own bias based off their experiences, right? Just as your parents have bias towards their experiences. The amount of times, for example, my dad and I, because I've been watching YouTube and um investment stuff, and I bring an investment on the table, and my dad's like, that won't work in Zambia, for example, as an example, that won't work. Um, you know, you're watching content from third world, first world countries from the states, and then you want to apply the stuff. And that's a very practical example of because of my life experience and what I'm exposed to. Yes, I have a different opinion as opposed to like my someone, my parent. Yeah, so it goes back to the same thing about detaching because what ends up happening is you know, we're all molded by our experiences. Yeah, so we're a product of our experiences, yeah. It goes back to independence. No, I I can't say you're right, your parents are wrong, your parents are right, you're wrong, but you're probably making decisions based off what you're exposed to in your current era, and as well, it goes back to I like to use the word I say your mind as you get older gets locked. It gets we spoke up as you spoke about the molding. The way I like to look at it is think about a path, a bush path. As you walk through that path, yeah, you as you keep walking through the path, eventually it becomes dusty. A tree can't just suddenly grow in the middle of the path, right? It would have to take you to stop walking that path, yeah, to start walking a different path, and allowing that old path to eventually, because eventually, yeah, the trees will then and the grass will start to grow, and it it the path will cease to exist. That's essentially what happens in your brain as well. You've got like paths, the more you walk the path, the more defined they become. Exactly. And the less you walk certain paths, the the the less defined they are, and the more opportunity you allow for that path to basically cease to exist. I'm sure we've all experienced it. How many times have you tried to change an older person's mind on something? Yeah, you you just can't. And hey, sorry to point this out. And I think, sorry, just I don't think the thing is even just older. I think let's just say another person. Because I get it. I know why you've why you've picked older. Even when I say another person, what I mean is you and I are a bit more modern as an example, in the sense that we are, you know, experiencing our exposure based off in our experiences. We could have even cousins or relatives who are the same age as us who've grown in a more rural village setup, yeah. And imagine trying to tell them that it is okay to hold your partner's hand in public as an example. They will be like, oh my goodness. Let's see the clothes people be wearing these and trying to explain to them that yeah, this is how we live. This is how we live. You know, it's okay to expose your legs or your forearms or whatever, whatever. So yeah, it goes back to the independence thing. So you need to understand that, especially they'll talk about the relationship between parents and children. Your parents sometimes still have uh values based on the time they lived in. Yes, they they don't want to necessarily adapt to or change their mindset based on, and you know, experiences. I think you always you always tell me this, and I like to tell people this like experience is the best teacher. Telling you can it's like even with a child, you can tell them don't climb that tree, don't climb that tree. The best way they'll learn is if they climb and they fall. Then I and I think that's why they okay, they say fear is a bad teacher, but yeah, I think that's the best way they'll learn. The thing is, it might not, and it's not always negative. The other side of it is they will learn that when I climb the tree, I need to take these things into consideration. Because when you climb with a certain uh recklessness, you are at a higher risk of falling from the tree. But as you climb, you you will realize, oh, I need to make sure my foot is here, I don't uh step on the on the weak branches. These trees I can't climb, these trees I can climb. So it's not always that when you fall down, it's like a ha, you will never climb the tree. No, it's just you can climb the tree, but you just climb it with a little bit more caution and tact. Yeah, so it just goes back to the fact that um detaching independence, you're living in your own area, living in your own time. Your parents will still have um values and um rules based on the time they lived in. In most cases, I'm sure you were experienced you're thinking like that because I'm sure we will because you you're they're old. I'm sure we've all had that thought. Oh so I think it's just about, of course, it's still for me. This is my like personal, this is how I traverse the situation. It's I try to gather information from there, but I think it's also about making informed decisions from the information you gather for yourself, you know. It just goes back to, as you said, like as you get older, I think a bit more independence is always helpful. Yeah, because and that's that's why your parents are there earlier in your life. You don't see people in their 40s still consulting their parents over everything. It's because you kind of gave me, you kind of like nurtured me. Yeah, you built a you built a foundation for me to then need to build my own structure. So mine would be that um it's a mix for sure, but that mix comprises of definitely principles that I might not never be able to get rid of because they're so deeply ingrained in who I am, engraved, ingrained, engraved. But then there's also experiences that I've picked up based off my own experiences, places have been things I've done. I think a very good one to use as a gap is your parents will never teach you about relationships, especially like dating and what your parents won't suit you then be like very few people anyway. People's families and dynamics are different, but like your parents will never really teach you. Okay, so as a guy, this is how you talk to a girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You tell her these things, you make her feel nice, whatever. Like they will show you in the way that they, as parents, interact between the two of them that oh, as a man, you need to be a man, you need to be romantic, whatever. But they won't tell you how you chatter up, yeah. You know, now that you're walking, uh, when you see her smiling, hold her hand, whatever. And that's a good example of your parents will give you principles, respect people, talk to people nicely, but they won't tell you about the this is how you pick up a red flag or a toxic person. So it will always be a mix. My advice would be as you live life, put yourself in as many situations, and I know it sounds very cliche, like this is one of those motivational speakers. It's giving me motivational speaker, but I I like that the more you F around, the more you find out that because it's the truth, it's truth, it's true, it's true, right? If you had like, and I hate to use this example, if you had like imagine a wall with 10 holes, right? And they say you don't know what's on the other side of the hole. You put your hand, you stick your hand in, you find out. You could stick your hand in and you pull it out, and there's no hand after. And well, you fed around and you found out. But at the same time, you could put your hand into one hole and you know, walk out, like pull it out with a stash of uh$10,000. The point is the person who's put their hand into multiple of those holes is better placed to tell you what's behind the holes than the person who's only actually put their hand in one hole. No, so I think that's that's that's mine, right? It's reminds him. Yeah, it is. I think it makes sense, mate. And then you talked about decision making and how many of those decisions we how many of those decisions we can we can blame or misguidance. This is my take on that. Um I'm one person who I think likes to is big on accountability and taking responsibility. That's me personally. I don't really like to defer and say, the reason for this is this, the reason for that is that. And I think bringing back the football example that we like to use, a lot of the time in football, there's those, you know, there's those guys you play football with who always blame the past, the ground, the ball, the wind, the what like it's never you just making a mistake, you've you've just made a mistake, you know, your past wasn't good, your thought process wasn't good, or it just didn't work out. And it's a similar thing for me. Now, there are things that we can quote unquote blame on people that were raising us. Yeah, and I'm trying to think of an example. Do you have one? I I don't have one. Um off the top of my head, things we can blame. And you see, okay, while you think, I think this now brings us into my thought process and just the fact actually that you make like the fact that we're even we're even struggling to find one is why I think I take a bit more of a harsh, harsh approach. But I think okay, I can't say everything, and I'm sure I'll think of some, but like a large majority of the decisions of where you end up in life is based off you, you know. Because you do hear people say, like, oh, you are taking you fortunately, okay. Of course, other factors involved, but you are you guys went to maybe I'll give an example private schools, yeah, is um why you're like that. I asked our parents took us to government school government schools, or yeah, are you a type where your parents even used to sit with you and had give you advice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're informed now, and I and this is another thing I want to point out, which is very important. Um, is I've got a person I'm always very close to like revealing, that's why I'm like it's stuttering. But there's a person who told me that even just being informed is a privilege in itself, yes, which we undermine because you know I think about it, right? Like I I was thinking about it recently. I was looking at financial investments, right? And I was looking at a few, like I was doing a chat GPT search on you know, is this in connection to was that your Twitter post where you said I have the ability to understand and break down now? Yeah, actually it was because there was a financial statement I looked at. It's not Twitter, it's experts I looked at. This is one of those things we're talking about, it's deeply engraved. I just can't give it a shit. Yeah, you see, it's just Twitter in your head. Yeah, um, but yeah, I was looking at a financial statement, and obviously I could understand a few things, but yeah, I was doing a little research on financial investments, and I was thinking in my head, because again, I like to look, and again, even this in itself, and this is an hour thinking beyond the blueprint, is a privilege in itself. I like to think that there's a spectrum, right? And I'm I don't know, I've I've been um I don't know if I can say I've I've I believe the the richer people, the most successful people in life, uh I like to use like Elon Musk, are at the top of this spectrum, like they're exposed, their minds are like they they have an they have a certain view of everyone else because they they like have a certain view, they see things from a certain view as well. They see from top down top down. We I like to believe most of us are like in the middle. There's some things we do see and have um exposure to, but there's things we still don't know. And it always goes back to you say the unknown and they're known unknowns. So you have your known knowns, your unknown, is it known unknowns, and your unknown unknowns. There's things there's things you don't know, you don't even know. Yeah, and the that in itself is a privilege because there's people again, like in rural areas that blind spot is much bigger than exactly than your blind spot. Yeah, their blind spot is much bigger than my blind spot. But some yeah, some people don't even know the things I don't know. So, what am I trying to say is for a small proportion of people, I do believe they should they should blame, not they should blame their parents because now I'm looking at it in terms of success, but like for you as a person at a certain stage, you have enough information and you're equipped with enough tools. I was telling like one of my a person, I was telling them, Do you know? I was I asked him and I asked him because he was he was on the side of like, no, guys, it's even a privilege. Like, um, you know, these people some people don't even have like, and I asked him, Do you know that you can study uh um like a degree even like on your phone, like online? And he says, Yes, I do. I said, but you should continue to blame your parents for that, for I guess your laziness. A lot of people are equipped with these tools. How many people know that, and I'm not gonna get into it, education is beneficial. How many people know that saving is beneficial? And it goes back, and that's what I keep telling, even like um, there's um someone I I like calling my mentee. I don't even know if he watches the podcast, but I like calling my mentee because he comes to me for a lot of advice. Okay, and I like to, yeah, but a guy reaching advisory level, bro. Hey, hey, yeah, hey, usually because he started to start a business and like a freelance thing. I can't wait. You should tell me what it's about. Yeah, but uh, he comes to me a lot for advice, and I share that sort of thing with him. And like telling him it's not that people don't know what to do, they just don't want to do it. Now a lot of the time, yeah. I told him about that time we had that conversation. Sorry, uh, before I hand over to you, where you had a certain friend come to you and ask you, like, bro, what is what really is the secret? Give me the in-depth, like, what is the secret? What are your people hiding? What are the tactics? What I was telling my mate, and I think where we landed as well is like, look, a large proportion of, for example, you saving as an example, is for as long as your expenditure is less than your income, you will save. Expenditure, yep, yes. For as long as your expenditure is more than your income, you'll be in a deficit, and obviously, we know what the repercussions are. There's no science to it, it's that plain. As simple as that, yeah. But people want to complicate you that no financial investments or return on investment. No, I know. I don't like tax, I have certain responsibilities. I think let me let me know. So my mind goes back to just owning and take like I I I don't think we should keep blaming, or people should blame their parents even in their 30s, 40s, 20s, even. Yeah, because but again, it's also yeah, yeah, bro. The fact, and you know, the thing is, I'm trying to um now that you're that's why I keep saying of course there's privilege, and I think I like what I like the fact that we've always points out to even know and be placed where we are is a privilege. Is a privilege in itself, but saving. I'll keep talking about that. But there's some basic principles, yes, like you've said, that I think like how many people know that just denying yourself of things generally leads to a better life. You can't tell me people don't know that it's delayed gratification. We keep talking about it, and it's you know, it's a bit like even when you're in high school. Of course, might not apply to everybody. Yeah, when you're in high school, you will be sent with tuck. Here are your sweets, here you're here is your stereo, here's your what. You can eat all of that in the first week. Yep, and then struggle with struggle through for the uh through the term. But you can also take the approach of I will eat a sweet a day. Yes, what is the preferable thing to have a sweet every day? But life doesn't always work like that. Sometimes life only gives you an opportunity to have a sweeter week. And you then need to tell yourself that I can have a sweet a week. Once I have it, I enjoy it to the fullest. I will then deny myself until another week elapses. It's the same thing with money, it's the same thing with many things, like studying, even with studying. Yeah, even with studying. Again, I'm not saying I'm the smartest person around or like my educational journey has been uh special, I've achieved all of these things. But look, think about it. You've got an exam, you've got a uh content, you study unless otherwise you should pass. Yeah, you can't take if you don't study, the chances are extremely low that you will pass. So then, and then someone goes to the educational system, they fail basically, they obviously don't end up in the best place in life, and then they want to blame their upbringing. But like No, I was forced into education, and that's not what I wanted. Well, okay, fine, maybe that's not what you wanted. Here is a business. A business requires you to be disciplined, that being even when you make a profit, you can't just say, Oh, the money has now come in party after party. It doesn't work like that. It's I have got money, I will reinvest that money. And and I think going back to nature, nurture, I I may be wrong, and I may I'm not wrong, but I may not have reference to sorry, I know I'm sounding a bit confident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I may not have reference to um exact biological mechanisms, but I think it's inbuilt within us that controlling resources and like even when you look at like apes and there's resource controlling. If you if you finish that thought, I might have a there's controlling of resources, goes back to the same thing you're talking about. Like we keep using money, let me. Let me give you an example. Um, people sometimes ask, why do people lose muscle when they stop working out? But that's because your body's primary function is to keep your heart and your it's got it's got core um organs that it needs to keep running. Believe it or not, it actually takes a lot of energy for your body to maintain muscle. So when you're not using the muscle, that being when you stop going to the gym or you're not doing whatever activity it is that requires you to do that, it reallocates those resources to keeping your heart running and to keeping your brain running, to keeping your blood pumping. So what it does is it it focuses on that, right? Which is the right thing to do. I like to people the body wants to comfort. That's a resource. I like that's like a resource example of a resource allocation. It's like a tiered approach. So again, going back to the initial topic of how much of it should be attributed to, I guess, your parents or upbringing, like decision making. I think there's some there's some things you can quote unquote blame them for if that's what you would like, if that's the word you like to use, like the school that they send you to, like the food that they feed you, or the types of conversations they have with you, maybe you can blame them for those things because the reason I'm saying that is the blame isn't really the word because you can't tell your your parent, like, I blame you for not having sent me to Oxford or Harvard, because if they can't afford Oxford or Harvard, they can't, right? But if you want to blame them for something like that because you were incapable of earning an income to send yourself to Oxford or Harvard, maybe. But if you want to blame them for things like the reason I don't work out and working out is not a lifestyle, it's not a part of my lifestyle is because of you. You didn't teach me how to start working out at five, five when I was five years old. Honestly, that's not a conversation. I think let me give you like my conclusion to this. Yeah, I think for some people, yes. There's some people in like crazy deep rural areas that aren't even exposed to like the information that we have and don't even like think about it. But even then, can you really blame your parents? Because it's a circumstantial thing, okay. And that's why I say very, very small proportion, actually. Even those people are counting in. What it what it's what it's about at the end of the day, I think is leveling up. I think we've always spoken about this. You want to take over the button from your parents here, you want to run your race and hand it over to your kids here. Yeah, and the and as the kids are your own. So the people that can't see the skill, he's basically, you know, hands are you know at the bottom, and they move up and then you move it up and you keep pushing that bar further. And for me, I think that's how I like to summarize even like my as we work and do all these things in life, try to make careers, try to build careers, try to make businesses. Of course, if if you obviously for most people's uh are gonna have kids and obviously pass on their their wealth or whatever, yeah, it's to pick up from a certain point and you just want to contribute to your circle and build up such that I think that's what most of us want to do. That's why we work hard, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 53:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:43

And I think this is what counting in your point. If you start with a one hectare farm, yeah, your level up should be to move up to 10 hectares, 20 hectares. Because you can sit there and keep blaming the people that left you that one hectare and said, No, the reason I don't have five is because they only left me one. Well, they only left you one. The question is, what are you going to do to get yourself two? Exactly. And that's why I think it goes back to everyone knows what they need to do. If I if I run a survey and I ask people, education, good or no? Good, being uh saving and being prudent with your finances, good or no. So we all know. And people will always say, I think, and the on the for up on the financial part for me, the reason why, and I know there's because there's some people that listen to this and be like, he's single, he's in a relatively good job, he's still got his parents to support him. No, no, no, no. Decisions, decisions. This is sorry, let me let me just let me just say something. I know this is getting like pretty heated, and again, I tell my people, some my like friends and everything, I tell them this, and now I'll even look at the camera. Look at it, tell them a lot of the decisions we make, or like the lot of the consequences we face are from the decisions we make. Yeah, and it's not rocket science, it's not rocket science. Some things are it's not it's not your decision. Like, look, if you end up in an accident, of course you can get into it, or if you get sick, or if you get an like some of those things, of course, will accept, but like and I'll and I'll put this one on the table with like pretty strongly without fear of contradiction, without fear of and I want having kids. This one about kids is a decision you made. Did you decide I'm not even gonna I'm not even gonna get into it, but like controversy, guys. For you to get to the point where you have kids, it is not a mistake. You and I like I like to say this because I think I don't know if it was you who said this or was me, but like with reward, with with risk, there's reward. Yeah, when you and I like give this example when you drive a car fast, there's reward. You feel good, you feel cool. What are the risks? You'd end up in an accident, things would go bad. Yeah, when you indulge in certain activities, there's definitely reward. Yeah, what are the risks? Yeah, it was because of decisions you made, yeah. And because if you abstain as an example, I mean unless it's a merry mother of Joseph arrangement, yeah, you're not suddenly going to end up with a kid, exactly. So, especially on the kids one, but overall, this like um the situations we find ourselves in, because you're saying a lot of people probably point out to the privileged what, especially yeah, yeah. So the the thing that yeah, so the thing that I wanted to say is, and it's going to sound very cliche, is it has to take you thinking beyond the blueprint for you to start. And the reason why I'm telling you beyond the blueprint is because when you work in the mining industry, for example, there are certain thought processes that people have in mining. You know, you can never become rich from your salary. Uh, borrowing is part of it. Actually, it reminds me of that funny thing uh where people are drawing like like heads, like an outline of a head, and then they're like what a miner thinks, and then there's just like salary, whatnot, what bankers think, you know, Mercedes-Benz shared house and whatever. The reason the stereotypes, the reason why I'm saying this is thinking beyond the blueprint is you just need to try it. As difficult as it as it is, it starts off with you just saying, from today, I'm going to get whatever pair of shorts I have, whatever shirt I have, and whatever pair of shoes I have, and I'm going to walk a kilometer. You might not even walk that kilometer because it will be painful. Yeah, let's shift the conversation away from finance to Yeah, yeah. But like you get the moment you start with one and then two and then three and then four, and before you know it, it becomes a lifestyle, and your whole life would have flipped over, and you won't even be able to point at when exactly you made that decision. You won't be blaming people or blaming a third party or a third thing for why you can't do what you want to do, which is the same thing as a finance, right? As people, some people are going to bash me for saying this. Maybe you need to stop indulging in alcohol. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe you need to stop indulging in certain outings. Sometimes you might actually just need to say, No, I will not come. And it's of course that's a tough decision. It's a very difficult decision to make. What you want is to go out to be with your mates, have a good time, have a laugh, you know, uh make some memories. But if you if you keep finding yourself at the end of the month having a deficit and you having to borrow to bridge that gap, then there's something in your and I'm not taking away the fact that there are also just certain life struggles, like the cost of electricity, the cost of water, the cost of transport. But I think there are some people who are beyond a certain point, who are at a certain point financially, where their needs can be catered for and there can be some excess. It will be painful for a year or two or even three or even five. But once you get over those five years, you've got no one to blame. You will be the one saying, and you know what's so interesting? A very good example is um school. I remember one of uh my lecturers used to say, When you fail, you like to say they gave me this result. When you pass, you like to say I got this result. That that shows you that even when you achieve certain things, when you study, when you save and you buy that car, you attribute it to you nine times out of ten, then you don't say, ah, it's because my parents have created this structure that has helped me to achieve this. You will say, I was 100% the responsibility. I am the one who did this, you know, it was tough. I had to deny myself. So that's a very practical example. So, you know, let's look at the other side of it. Should you should you really be blaming other people if when you do good things, you always attribute it to yourself and your hard work and the things that you've done. With regard to this topic, is very simple thing. You can't have the cake and eat the cake. Yeah, you just need to realize that what that basically means, just to break it down for the people, um, you need to be it's about sacrifice basically. If you want to have certain things, other things have to go. Some things have to suffer, of course, for most of us. If you've got a like uh, and I think it goes back to resources are limited, like, and this is this I also use time here as well. I was going to say time is the perfect thing. I don't even talk about my money. About money, yeah. But like, if you want to achieve certain things, you need to understand that you won't be able to do other things, you only have 24 hours within a day. It's it's it's just what it is. Everyone has 24 hours within a day, so you can't both go to the club, or if you're gonna spend a lot of time going out from for two in. In the afternoon to whatever time when you could have been doing something else, you need to realize that one has to give. Yeah, because even now we're here sitting in front of microphones. There's something else that we could have been doing. It's Sunday, we could have been we could have been in bed. And we appreciate you guys for taking the time to listen. We really appreciate it. Thank you very much for not complaining. If anything, listening to this podcast is a very good action. It's an amazing, you're already taking the steps. Shame the relationship, other people tell them guys, use your time to listen to productive stuff like Beyond the Blueprint. And the interesting thing is, this is one of those things that you can do while you do another thing. You could have Beyond the Blueprint playing on your TV as you tidy up or as you work or as you take a walk or as you run. But the point is the fact that you're taking the time to actually listen to this, something else is quote unquote suffering. Yep. So yeah, man, I think we've broken it down pretty well. We've tried, yeah, we've tried. I hope someone's taken something away from this. Yeah, these are those topics where you could just keep you can keep going and going and going. I agree. But for me, I think the the caveat to what I would like people to take away, especially from this last segment, is you can't have the cake and eat it. And you people know what they need to do, but they just don't want to do it. They just don't want to do it, you know. That's yeah, or even if I think, or even if not want to do it, they're just not willing to take the step. Yeah, they're just yeah, not willing to take the step. Because it's like the fitness one is a good one you brought up. People like to come and say, and this is I I like people want to get caught up in like what diet? Um, how do I run? What do I we and this everyone knows you exercise? I have a friend who I'm going through under the bus who just once about about running, and she said, I don't know how to run. I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, you know, you were running when you were younger, so you like know how to breathe and whatnot. Come on, guys, excuse me. My friends, excuses, just start running. That's what you call anything. Just start running. So we all know what we need to do, guys. We all know what we need to do. Um, yeah, and I think that's how I approach life now. Like, and uh, I would like to bring another thing up. Um, I listened to a little segment of a certain podcast. It was like actually a behind the scenes of the podcast, and the guy was talking about procrastination. And I know this could be a topic for a whole another day, but I just want to point this little part out, and which I find found pretty insightful, and it got me thinking beyond the blueprint. Basically, he says that the question was basically, how many things have you said no to? And what where the the angle he was approaching it from is how many things that you really wanted to do? I'll talk about like going out. Imagine someone invites you to go out, like let's go out tonight. How many, how many times do you actually say no to something? And this is not like the things that, like, oh, let's go for a meeting, things you didn't want to do. It's like the things that you really wanted to do. Like for me, football. How many times do I say no to like football or gym, for example, to get something done that I need to get done? And why I say it's pretty cool is I've never really, it's because the guy says basically you can look back at like your day or your week and ask yourself how many things did I say no to? And you can use that as a measure as to how focused you are. That's one very good one. I've never really thought about how saying no to certain things could be used as a measure as to whether you're really focusing on the important things. So I just want to ask people like, think back for for for high-level people again. I always look talk about Elon Musk, could be a day, but for us, we we rarely have to make a lot of big decisions, yeah. But look back at your week and ask yourself within this project, how many things did I really say no to? When I was asked to go for the chill, yes, I say yes or no. Yeah, when I was a good thing. Well, even when I just had that temptation to buy a drink, how did I say no? Did I say no? Did I say no? And I think I've been to buy that food. Did you say no? And then I just add another little cool thing. The I'm sure we've all heard most of us have heard of the book Um The Psychology of Money, forgotten the author's name, but um, he was again I watched the podcast and he says, like, I think the lady who was the host asked him, What is it really like like we and I used to have the and I've been trying to get out of this mindset. So for people um on the port who are listening, I've kind of been trying to improve my um my saving, I guess. It's it's always an it's an upcoming topic in our house because again, in our house, we share ideas and we want everyone to improve in the aspects that they like it. And one of them for me is I could probably improve on my savings. So when I watch that podcast, and what the the lady asks him, like, um, what is it, why would people really save? Because sometimes I and I used to have this mindset, what I'm trying to get out of, is why not just buy it now if I'm gonna buy it regardless? Why not just buy that um these pair of shoes now? Because a lot of people say save and buy. I'm like, if I've got the money now, what's the point in saving? Because I'm going to buy the shoes regardless. And I've done I've made that decision for a lot of things. But what the guy says, the author of Um Psychology of Money, yeah, he says, when you save, what you're basically doing is every obviously says dollar, but every quarter dollar you save is time of your own that you're owning in the future. You're banking time, you're banking, and as you and I both know, money is options, you're banking options, yeah. And that's why it's always beneficial to defer that because obviously the opposite of which is spending or borrowing is you're selling your time. Yeah, and I'm pretty sure a lot of us who want to own it. A very easy example is if you save money now and deny yourself of certain things, you might you could you could do one of two things. You could either jump on the bus and drive to Lusaka, it would take you as an example. If you're from if you're driving from Souesi to Lusaka, it would take you the whole day. It would literally take you the whole day. It'd start off at four, you'd probably arrive at five or six in the evening. If you've got a car, you could save your money and put fuel in your car and drive to Lusaka. Hold on, I'm getting I'm getting that. Okay. And it could take you slightly, a slightly shorter time because obviously on the bus, it stops at every every town to try and pick up more people. It's not going to overtake or do anything. It's not going to drive at a certain speed, right? Or you could save your money and jump on a plane and be in Lusaka in an hour. I think that's essentially that's a very good options and time. So that's what money uses. You know, that's what money does. Your options will be bus, car, or you know, flying. But if you're just looking at the money you have now, option may only be bus, you know. And and I think just to add a little something in there, if there's anyone who has this mindset, like for me, I have a lot of people who say same thing I was telling you, and I think I'm taking us back a bit. Um, is you're young, you've got a relatively good job, your parents are still there. That's why you've got all of this money. I don't for starters, I don't even have all of this money because they just they just assume that they have all of this money. But uh, there's a lot of denial, and there's a lot of because I I think about it sometimes. Like I see my mates posting. Uh look, our lives are different. I'm not taking anything away from them. I see them at summer now, you know, they're posting, they've gone pool parties and they're chilling and whatever, you know, drinks at the table. And I'm working on a Saturday, you know, Saturday morning, I'm in the office. I don't even need to be there. But it's part of my strategy, maybe to keep me away from spending money. I would also, over the weekend, nine times out of ten, I've got the money to jump into my car, drive to the copper belt, link up with a couple mates, you know, have a good night out and drive back on the Sunday. But how many of those weekends do I deny myself of doing that in my life that afford that allows me to then later on have a little bit more money to do certain things? So I just wanted to get it out of people's minds that just because people have certain structures around them, don't assume that there's no work that they're putting in to make there's no sacrifice, there's no sacrifice that they're making to have certain things, right? And so to add on to your point, um, which is also uh to help with my mindset shift with the whole thing about saving as opposed to spending now is you know, you see people with nice things. Okay, basically adding on to your point is that because uh sorry, Apple Watch. I've been talking about how much I really want to buy an Apple Watch. But you didn't hold as a watch. I'm holding myself, it's not that I don't have the money, the money to buy an Apple Watch is there, and I'm not saying this as a flex or like whatever. Anyway, I don't even think it's a flex. I'm sure I'm pretty sure the people that listen to this have way more money than I do, yeah. But it's that denial, it's going to be two, three, four months because I've been existing, I've been living without an Apple Watch. I can find justifications for it, but then later on, when I do that other bigger thing that I've been trying to do, and the difference between me doing that big thing and not doing it is the price of the Apple Watch. You just brought up a very interesting, you used a very interesting word, justification. I remember again, one of the times we had these conversations in and around my savings. I I think a lot of I like saying I work hard, like another I like I like takeout especially. Yeah, I'll use takeout as an example, and I like to say I work hard, so I should treat myself. There's no way I work 12 hours a day, up 4 30 every day. And people do that a lot, so why not spoil myself? People do that a lot, and I remember actually was you who said these words, you said, but you know, you can't say that because everyone works hard, you can't, and but it goes back to the point about sometimes we come up with these petty justifications, yes, and we're very good at comforting ourselves as people, and that's what that's exactly what I would do. Trust me, I believed it to the call. I think I'm working hard, I should just why not? Like, why not just treat myself here, there, here, here, there. But if you want to achieve bigger goals and greater things, it takes just going that extra extra step. Like, yeah, yeah, working hard, congrats. Everyone's probably working hard. Yeah, so if you want to get those things, go that extra step. And what I wanted to say before is sometimes you see nice things, or people have these nice things and have achieved certain things. Um, and you think like someone buys a car, it you don't know when they started putting money aside for that car. Like many of us are very I think what I wanted to say is many of us are very bad at seeing the sacrifice. We don't see the sacrifice, we don't see, oh, I actually never really see that person out on a weekend, or oh, I don't thank you very much. That's yes. We only know just when they go on that trip one time, or when they buy that car, yes, and then you're like, but you never how come you didn't when I never used to go. Yes. Well, we're not good at seeing the sacrifice. Yes, that's a very good example that you're given. And the reason why I'm saying that is it's very close to home for me. People are like, no, but we never see you out, you're always working over the weekend. Um, and and and then something point, but then pops up, there'll be the exact same people who come back and say you're always trapping, happening, moving back and forth, where do you get the money? But you don't know that there's I don't, you know, I don't go out every weekend and spend my money, right? I I keep that money and then I spend it maybe over like during the course of a week over a trip that I take. We're not good at seeing the sacrifice of other people that is very what they're foregoing. That is very true. That is very true. Anyway, yeah, dude. I hope people I hope someone has taken something to think about beyond the blueprint in that space. Decisions, your decisions are what lead to consequences. For me, that's the takeaway. For those that hate when he is looking at the camera pointing at the people that are listening. It's not four finger points, which is soft. Yeah, it's one fingerprint. It's the one finger point which is it's like you, like you, man. Yeah, yeah. So that that's gonna be the heading of this of this um podcast is your decisions or your consequences, something something like that. Sorry, so I know we're about to close, but episode I think it's episode eight or something like that. People say that the title of the pod and the things that we talk about are not necessarily aligned, or they were hoping that we would talk about the thing a little bit more. I think we sort of touch on it, but we don't actually speak about it as much. So, yeah, for this one, we're going to try and make sure that the title matches. But who knows? We've kind of maybe just played on people's psychology. It was all clickbait. We wanted you guys to click because you thought we'll talk about that and then we didn't talk about the thing. But yeah, for those that are called an administrative error, guys. Yeah, genuinely that we're not trying to deceive anyone. Yeah, we're not trying to deceive anyone. I think it was just uh the processing it's just a little bit of a lapse, but yeah, uh that's how you learn, isn't it? That is how you learn thinking and performing beyond the blueprint. Yeah, the more you f around, the more you find out around the more you find out. Yeah, I think we might have had one more thought, but uh we can save it for the next time. Yeah. Uh do you have any closing statements? Anything that you want to no, not not really. Um, I think I've said my piece. I've said I think you've really laid it down today. Thank you, sorry. Yeah, you've really laid it down today. Yeah, I don't have anything else, just the usual. Thank you very much for listening to us. We will continue saying this, so uh please bear with us. This is one of the principles that we were taught by our parents that you should be thankful. Um, so we won't give up on that. And you should so yeah, thank you very much for for listening to us, taking the time to watch now that we've also got audiovisual, we've got the visual part of it. And um, yeah, please keep spreading the word, uh, give the pod to someone else. Pay it forward, I think is is is the right way to say it. Pay it forward, have someone else listen, get a new idea, and also continue giving us feedback. Because I think you notice that sometimes we say we had a conversation with someone based off the feedback that they gave us, and it filters through into the conversations that we're having. So, you guys are also contributing in the sense that you're providing us ideas and talking points for the podcast, and giving us obviously different um POVs, different aspects to talk about it from. Because again, as we always speak about, is we have probably pretty similar experiences in life. Yeah, one sometimes when you chip in and tell us we can look at it and attack it from a different POV, which is beneficial. It's beyond our blueprint, exactly. So, yeah, um, I don't have anything else, so I think that should be it. That's about it, man. All right, cool. Thank you very much. See you guys in the next one. As and as we like to say, think beyond the blueprint. All right, sharp, man. Cheers.