S1 Ep. 28: Listening with Humility: Love in Practice

Transcript

Carol Vassar:

From SS. Isidore and Maria Parish in Glastonbury, Connecticut, I'm Carol Vassar, and this is Living in Faith, Hope, and Love. Each week, our Pastor, Father Mark Suslenko, delves into Scripture, shares insights from the saints, prophets, and theologians, and discusses practical ways to cultivate faith, strengthen hope, and embody love in the world around us. Through his reflections and spiritual encouragement, this podcast aims to inspire you to live your Catholic faith with joy and purpose. Welcome. 

What happens when we truly listen? When we set aside judgment, let go of our polished facades, and open ourselves to the stories of others—and even to the quiet voice of God? In this episode, Father Mark reflects on the lost art of listening, the role of humility, and how love is revealed when we make space in our lives to truly hear what others are saying.

“Listening with Humility: Love in Practice” by Father Mark S. Suslenko, Pastor, SS. Isidore and Maria Parish, Glastonbury, Connecticut

Father Mark Suslenko:

Do you have an attentive ear? Do you have an attentive ear? You know, it seems to me we live in a world now that's all about the giving and receiving of information. We communicate for sure, but the level of communication with one another is usually reduced to name, address, social security number, and reason for your visit. As we interact with folks on a daily basis, asking "How are you?" sometimes appears to be an offensive question, an interruption to the need to receive the information or attend to the tasks at hand.

In a society such as this, the art of listening becomes diminished. Its value rescinds. We almost become automatons going about the specific business of our day, hiding our stories because there's no one to listen. If someone does ask you, "How are you?", of course, the customary answer of "I'm fine" is what comes out of our mouths, even though it can't be farther from the truth.

Do you have an attentive ear? It seems like a silly question, but it really isn't because the art of listening does not come without both practice and an intense desire to achieve it. It comes as the fruit of deep prayer, of being able to sit back and to waste some time so that we can receive what is around us for what it is and for who it is. The world, and by extension, God, is always trying to send us messages, to give us inspiration, to give us a glimpse into reality. But if we're so busy inputting information, attending to the tasks of our day, and not taking that opportunity to waste time and place ourselves in front of the world, we miss all these graced moments.

Think of the last time you really listened to another person's story. People try to communicate with us all the time, but do we really listen to what is going on in their hearts, to what they're trying to say? Often, because we haven't developed the art of listening, before we even get out of the gate, we're placing our own interpretation on what we see; we're drawing conclusions, forming judgments. Because we see this and that and they're together, then this must be happening, and we are so often very wrong. The judgments and the interpretations we place on life and on people themselves do no service other than to satisfy our own egos.

When we listen to a person's story, we may not like what they are saying. We may not agree with the path that they have chosen. We may agree with the choices they have made. But in and through those choices, and underneath that path, is the reality of their lives; a life that may be filled with brokenness and hurt, a life that is crying out even in what we perceive as violence and anger. Often when we listen to one another's stories, we want to interpret life for them, tell them what they should be doing, who they should be with, how their story should be told to conform it with our own expectations, our own agendas, and our own inflated sense of what we think is correct and proper. We rewrite another person's stories, and in doing so, we completely railroad over who they are and miss the essence of the gift of that person's soul.

We even try to rewrite our own stories. We're not happy with our own brokenness, and so we try to polish and clean up the act as much as we can. We associate ourselves with powerful and attractive people. We try to land that big job even at the expense of our families. We have to have the beautiful house, the manicured yard, so that everybody can see that I'm a polished and successful person, so that when I'm invited to a social function, because I have that exclusive social circle, I head right for the front because that's where I know I need to be and where I can continue to play my game. Our polished lives continue to play out so that our social circles are only with those we feel comfortable and when somebody comes along who challenges us, who's different than ourselves, who doesn't fit into our ideals, we cast them aside.

Humility really is learning how to love. Listening also is learning how to love. You see, the real secret to being a Christian is not becoming a member of some exclusive group: the group of the saved. Learning how to be a Christian is learning how to listen and learning how to love, and by extension, giving ourselves away. We often hoard ourselves and protect our own purposes, and in doing so, we don't have time for one another. We make it a point to keep our agendas busy so we don't have to worry about truly listening.

God only uses the humble. He has no use for the arrogant, because they cannot see or understand his will or his agenda. Only the humble person is able to create that love space to truly listen and absorb what God is asking of them. Only the humble person is able to step aside and do the will of God, a will that may be much different than the one they had planned for themselves. A humble person knows how to give themselves away, to truly put themselves at the service of another, not as a judge, not as an arbiter, not as a source of correction, but as a person of love who is able to truly listen.

Humility: it has nothing to do with meekness. It has nothing to do with being a pushover. It has everything to do with a strength of character that doesn't get its cues from the world, or from its social group, or from its profession. or from what it has around him or from what other people say. The affirmation of the humble comes from what is found in the soul, where only God can speak.

Carol Vassar:

Father Mark Suslenko is the pastor of SS. Isidore and Maria Parish in Glastonbury, Connecticut. If you like what you've heard today, please subscribe to Living in Faith, Hope, and Love on your favorite podcast app and take a moment to leave a review.

SS. Isidore and Maria is an active parish community, so whether you’re a long-time parishioner or are just getting to know us through this podcast, we welcome you to join us at Masses or any of our other community events and services. Visit our parish website - isidoreandmaria.org - for a full schedule of Masses, services, and other happenings. That's isidoreandmaria.org. We're also active on Facebook and Instagram.

On behalf of Father Mark, I'm Carol Vassar, and we thank you for listening to this episode of Living in Faith, Hope, and Love.