S1 Ep. 32: The Gift of Loving Obedience

Transcript

Carol Vassar:

From SS. Isidore and Maria Parish in Glastonbury, Connecticut, I'm Carol Vassar, and this is Living in Faith, Hope, and Love. Each week, our Pastor, Father Mark Suslenko, delves into Scripture, shares insights from the saints, prophets, and theologians, and discusses practical ways to cultivate faith, strengthen hope, and embody love in the world around us. Through his reflections and spiritual encouragement, this podcast aims to inspire you to live your Catholic faith with joy and purpose. Welcome. 

In today’s reflection, Father Mark invites us to consider a question we might not often ask ourselves: Whom do you obey? In a world that prizes independence and self-determination, obedience can seem like an outdated or even uncomfortable concept. Yet, as Father Mark reminds us, obedience — when rooted in love and trust — is not about control, but about relationship. It’s about allowing those who truly have our best interests at heart, including God, to guide us toward what is good and life-giving.

Through the lens of St. Ignatius, we’ll explore how obedience evolves — from mere obligation to joyful cooperation — and how, when freely given, it becomes one of the purest expressions of love.

“The Gift of Loving Obedience,” by Father Mark S. Suslenko, Pastor, SS. Isidore and Maria Parish, Glastonbury, Connecticut

Father Mark Suslenko:

A question to ponder today is this: whom do you obey? Whom do you obey? Now, take a moment to really reflect on that question because the answers may not come as easily as one would expect.

Whom do you obey?

We live in a culture where the word "obedience" is practically out of use. We don't like it when we're told that we have to obey an order, or obey a directive, or obey someone. And because it's taken on such a negative connotation, and in some cases, rightly so, it has then drifted from our understanding and our usefulness. So, put another way, who are your superiors? Who are your superiors?

See, it's very easy in this culture to set ourselves up as rugged individualists, answering to no one but ourselves, doing as we want and when we want it. Even in families, the word "obedience" is sometimes used, rarely, even in the dynamics between parents and children.

Whom do you obey?

Someone in your life has to have your best interest in mind. And I'm sure each one of us has someone whom we have their best interests in mind. Who is it? Because when we answer that question, then we open ourselves up for an opportunity to deepen relationships and understanding a bit. Sometimes we don't have the correct perspective on life ourselves: our emotions, our desires, our needs, our wants, all kinds of things get the best of us, and we find ourselves acting out of those things. And then that one person who really does care about us taps us on the shoulder and says, "You're hurting yourself. You're spinning your wheels needlessly. Maybe you should consider doing this."

Do we obey what they say?

Obedience in the spiritual life is extremely important. Obedience in our personal lives is equally important. And I'm not talking blind obedience or giving uncontrolled authority over to an individual or individuals, because that can be abused and lead to even violence and hurt. I'm talking about good obedience.

Saint Ignatius speaks of obedience in a very eloquent manner. He says the first level of obedience is doing something because you're strictly obligated to do it. Strictly obligated to do it. So think of your work. You're expected to be at work at eight o'clock and work until four. It doesn't matter how you feel about it. And you punch in at eight and you punch out at four because you're strictly obligated to do that. That's what your superiors are telling you you must do. And he said that kind of obedience is good. It provides a structure. It's useful and beneficial to many.

He said the second kind of obedience is doing something because your superior has asked you to do it, not out of strict command, but simply as a request. So, if the person you listen to, if your superior is your boss, and they ask you to do a particular thing, you eagerly do it because you have trust and faith in them, and you carry out that request.

Or if your superior is your wife and your wife tells you, "Honey, I really think you need to do this," you question not, and do it because of that gentle, loving command that came forth from her mouth. And he said that kind of obedience is better.

But then he says the best kind of obedience is doing something simply because it pleases your superior; simply because it pleases your superior. So, let's think of a family unit. You can have parents and children in this family unit. There are some things that are strictly obligated. You have to be in bed by eight o'clock and that's it. No questions, ifs, ands, or buts. There are other things in that family unit that are done because the superior or the parent makes that request, and the children eagerly do what they are told.

And then there's the better and the best is when the children go out of their way to please the parent because they love them, and they know that they are doing something to make them happy.

So let's assume that God is our superior. Do we allow him to have that role in our lives? Do we eagerly want to obey him? And if the answer is yes, God is my superior and I do want to obey him, then we can use St. Ignatius's models to assess our level of relationship with God. So, in our desire to obey God, are we doing things simply because we are strictly commanded to do so? Well, that's okay. Do we do this obeying of God because he's requesting something of us, and because we do respect and love God, we eagerly do what we are asked to do? Or do we stretch it a little bit, and go out of our way to please God in the actions and the behaviors of our lives and the choices we make in how we look at the world and each other, how we view our faith, the tenets of the Gospel and what God is asking us to do as his disciples, and then go out of our way to please God, simply because we love him?

So here's why obedience is important: when given in healthy doses in our lives, because whether it's with God, with our parent, a significant other who truly has our best interest in mind, or in a mutual relationship of husband and wife who give each other the permission to obey one another, in the highest form of that, it's really an act of love. Love is not just what we do, but how we do it and why we do it.

And so the bottom line today is that, as a disciple of Jesus Christ, expect no rewards, expect no favors, expect nothing from God, because at the end of the day, if you truly love God, then you will do what pleases him, regardless of the cost simply because you are an unprofitable servant doing only what he or she is obligated to do.

Carol Vassar:

Father Mark Suslenko is the pastor of SS. Isidore and Maria Parish in Glastonbury, Connecticut. If you like what you've heard today, please subscribe to Living in Faith, Hope, and Love on your favorite podcast app and take a moment to leave a review.

SS. Isidore and Maria is an active parish community, so whether you’re a long-time parishioner or are just getting to know us through this podcast, we welcome you to join us at Masses or any of our other community events and services. Visit our parish website - isidoreandmaria.org - for a full schedule of Masses, services, and other happenings. That's isidoreandmaria.org. We're also active on Facebook and Instagram.

On behalf of Father Mark, I'm Carol Vassar, and we thank you for listening to this episode of Living in Faith, Hope, and Love.